[O] I learned the language of another world. - Printable Version +- HELOVIA || The Way to the Sun (http://helovia.com) +-- Forum: Out of Character (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Archives (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=11) +--- Thread: [O] I learned the language of another world. (/showthread.php?tid=10566) |
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I learned the language of another world. - Konstantin - 10-26-2013 I suppose I was lonely far more often than I was alone. We never said it wasn't complicated. We never said it worked out swimmingly all the time (goodness knows we could start our own business selling all the wrenches that had been thrown into our plans throughout the brief years). I never let him see the pain, even when I knew he could sense it anyway, and I did not mention the nights his eyes drifted more somberly toward the earth in the grips of his own suffering. That was our compromise; that was our price our mother never told us we would pay for our 'gift'. I wandered through the moonlit meadow as though entranced, my eyes and thoughts fixed first upon the skies. These were the selfsame stars of my childhood, though perhaps it was not their season or their place. Wherever I might wander, however lost I might become, my stars always showed up again somewhere, somewhen. Even his star was there, hanging bright and nameless amongst the sea of insignificant others. My gaze lingered upon it with a half-smile equally charged with pride and regret. Oh, the irony of scouring the sky for angels. Sasha, like my red shadow, had little natural patience for the stars, however gracious he might be in humoring my enthusiasm. With the skies as clear as they were, he would understand the chill of my absence, and yet...and yet. The stars did not occupy the width and breadth of my attention tonight. I began there as I had begun on the night of my birth, necessarily comforted by the familiarity, but some part of me hoped instead for the future. I was a lost boy. One day, perhaps soon, I would begin to grow up. RE: I learned the language of another world. - Ranjiri - 10-27-2013
RE: I learned the language of another world. - Konstantin - 10-27-2013 Family was a decidedly alien concept to me; home, perhaps even more so. Who could blame me, with a cold, distrustful father and a mother whose genuine affection could not mask her pity? Sasha was the only fixed point I’d ever had. Everyone and everything else only felt permanent in my memories. I heard the rustle of another individual nearby long before acknowledging them, nursing a habit of thoughtful discretion. Perhaps they, too, were lost in thought, or preferred to be alone. I wouldn’t mind either way. Shared silence is beautiful. Only when she spoke did I turn, my smile brightening unconsciously. She was young even by my reckoning, and not simply equine. My days within the realm of Nocturne were not so far behind me that horses bearing whimsical markings and weapons and wings were a shock, but nor had I ever grown exactly accustomed to seeing them. I was a mundane creature, unremarkable in every way but the circumstances surrounding my birth, and I found that I much preferred to feel awe rather than inspire it. This young night-dark filly was gilded from her hooves to her horn to the tips of her wings, and though she bore little true resemblance I saw shades of little Katya in her. How our hearts wander in the moonlight, Kostya. “Of course I don’t mind,” I said softly, glancing skyward; almost immediately I looked back again. “I mean, I’ve not taken your spot, have I?” It certainly seemed to be a nice place for thinking, and the gilded filly carried herself like someone with a lot weighing her down. RE: I learned the language of another world. - Random Event - 10-28-2013
RE: I learned the language of another world. - Ranjiri - 10-28-2013
RE: I learned the language of another world. - Konstantin - 10-29-2013 “I don’t belong anywhere either,” I replied with what I hoped was a reassuring tone, staring wistfully into infinity. So many times we had turned our backs upon the promise of home, believing it our choice alone, but perhaps we were simply unfit for civilized company. Straightening, I shook the troubling whispers out of my thoughts. It would not do to dwell upon bitter maybes. “Well met, Ranjiri,” I said warmly, “I’m Konstantin – or Kostya, if you prefer. I’m not exactly from around here.” I followed her gaze toward the brittle summer grass, alighting upon the single vivid flower in amongst the thistles. My ears flicked forward with undisguised interest ; as much as I looked at the sky instead of the ground, it was hardly surprising that I missed the odd little blossom at first. I, too, had never seen such a thing, but moments ago I had never seen a horse that looked like the filly before me and scant months ago I had never so much as entertained the thought that anything remotely magical or mystical even existed. Novelty was becoming the norm for me. Needless to say, with or without a suitable mother figure in my life, I was not about to destroy anything so lovely. I glanced questioningly at the gilded filly before leaning in to brush it with a tentative whisker. It felt soft and supple and, unlike the surrounding vegetation, unaffected by the ravages of summer. Curious indeed. “What do you suppose it is?” I murmured, tilting my head. Something about it made quiet seem appropriate, as though the flower might either burst into flame and kill us at the slightest provocation (I nearly shuddered at the memory) or shyly vanish back into whatever void magical flowers inhabit when they are not blooming under the noses of mere mortals. RE: I learned the language of another world. - Ranjiri - 10-31-2013
RE: I learned the language of another world. - Konstantin - 11-01-2013 We’re all going to die alone. By now I was used to the idea of being a sad little pilot encased in the head of a biological machine, directing its lips and its legs and its eyes in a desperate attempt to make contact with all the other little pilots whose murky shadows I fancied I saw flickering in the corners in my dreams. There were times I felt so close to them; that was when it ached the most. These were deep thoughts for such a seemingly shallow mind – old words for one so young – but I was born a fragment of a person. Those scars ran more deeply than the exotic angles of my face would ever show. Where are you from, Kostya? I smiled slightly, my eyes flickering in the filly’s direction for an instant. “I was born on an island.” There wasn’t much else to be said for it. I doubted that anything but the most pitiful stroke of hereditary luck could deliver my brother and me to the shores of that island chain ever again. I was not Rodion; nothing bound me to that place but my memories, and few of them were good. “I think they called it Tinuvel.” The flower was decidedly more engaging than thoughts of my none-too-distant infancy. For my part, I would not have described it as sinister, but I had beguiled a warrior queen and delivered myself unharmed from a devil’s playground – not through bravery, mind, but because it had never occurred to me to fear for my safety (Idiot, Sasha would say). I chuckled at Ranjiri’s response. Yes, a flower; it swayed slightly in the breeze and my thoughts galloped backward to a night spent in the shadow of a withered tree and a ragged black feather left in the grass. “It is. Here –.” My acquisitive nature took hold. Considering the gilded filly for a moment, I reached down and gingerly bit through the emerald stalk, drawing back with the flower and a workable length of stem gripped between my teeth. The strange sap leached from the broken end onto my tongue. Trying in my moment of indignity not to look like the rose-wielding suitor of every Disney romance and every realist’s nightmare, I quirked a brow in Ranjiri’s direction and gestured vaguely in the direction of her mane as if to say, ‘May I?’ Hopefully it wasn’t poisonous after all. RE: I learned the language of another world. - Ranjiri - 11-03-2013
RE: I learned the language of another world. - Konstantin - 11-04-2013 I wove the stem into her mane as if I had done it a hundred times before, mindful of our closeness and respectfully taking steps to avoid unnecessary touching. I was a tactile creature, but not everyone shared my enthusiasm or my ridiculously weak sense of personal space. Straightening, I admired my handiwork for a moment. It really was a lovely flower – and, knowing flowers, it might well have withered within a day or so without ever having been properly appreciated. Flowers are not known for their longevity. I shrugged at the question. “Maybe a few days.” It did not even seem so terribly long since we had left the turbulent kingdoms of Nocturne to their inevitable fate. I could not regret the move; most of those unfortunate souls sold themselves for power and personal gain. Of course, that being said, I also had little room to complain: idealistic though I might be, I was hardly what anyone would call ‘principled’. “Somebody from the foothills offered my brother and me a place there, but I guess I have commitment issues.” It goes without saying that one becomes a tiny bit gun-shy after being summarily promoted to Master in Chief at the age of two and then leaving only to be recruited into a revolution at the very next stop. I did not relish the thought of pledging my allegiance to a group that, for all I knew, intended to start a bloody and bitter war the next day. Things like that tend to mess with your head. “Why did you leave, if you don’t mind me asking?” RE: I learned the language of another world. - Ranjiri - 11-05-2013
RE: I learned the language of another world. - Konstantin - 11-07-2013 ”Irrydae.” Even now I found myself repressing the awe of seeing a mare thus clothed with the night. Moments like that always made me feel giddy, which I suppose means relatively for someone who seems to get excited about every single thing. Admittedly, there are worse character flaws. I have a few of them. My ears perked up at the mention of Eytan, though the rest of the names predictably made little impression. All this talk of gods and missions sounded very noble, to be sure, but religion and all that it entailed were foreign concepts to me. Gods were for people that ought to live forever; I did not deserve to exist at all. “It does. My brother and I did the same thing,” and we had. To be sure, the islands had never had anything to offer us but the comfort of our grandsires’ noble legacy, but I don’t think I’d understood until the day that Cimarron surrendered to the ravenous seas: the cataclysm had swallowed far more than stone. So much had come since that there were times I did not feel as young as I looked. Remembering and reliving every moment of it as I did in my dreams and waking mind, I might have lived a thousand lifetimes already, but for the youthful curves stubbornly clinging to my body. A thousand lifetimes – I bit back a fond smile. “I don’t regret the journey at all.” When you’re in the wilderness, you tend to find yourself and grow richer for it. I found much more (and felt like the richest horse on earth when I didn’t jolt awake from the nightmares, but I would not say as much to her). “But why were you alone tonight?” Why were you alone, Kostya? Someone who so flippantly leaves his heart behind is hardly in a position to be questioning strangers. RE: I learned the language of another world. - Ranjiri - 11-11-2013
RE: I learned the language of another world. - Konstantin - 11-15-2013 When we were born, we had nothing. We were princes, heirs to an ancient and illustrious legacy, and from that moment on we had only each other. Natalya Koscheyevna, despite her kindness, was far too young and naïve to ever have managed us properly, and Zavulon Rodionovich....Well, he only loved himself. You become what your parents fear most; my brother and I are no different. Princes we might have been, but our hearts lusted after simpler things than power. Starlight captured my imagination, and I never wanted it to let go. She’s beautiful, isn’t she? “Yeah,” I murmured wistfully. Vaguely I remembered the first pegasus I’d ever met and my fantasies of climbing up, up into the night sky, never to land. It was a passing fancy, but I still felt little pangs of jealousy toward the wingéd few. Was that why I had kept his feather for so long? My next answer came more hastily. “I wasn’t against it, I just....” The last time we’d gone someplace new, my brother and I had ended up on the better end of a coup. Before that, I’d found myself shouldering the weight of leadership, staring down a warrior queen who could have bested me in every arena but the one I chose. I had a history of leaping feet first into raging infernos. “I don’t know anything about this place. I didn’t want to be wrong.” When she stretched out a wing to nudge me, I smiled. It was nice not to be lonely (and for someone who had spent nearly every night before and after birth by the same horse’s side, I struggled with loneliness rather frequently; it’s one of those...things). Look at us: just a couple of kids, sitting under the stars and trying to figure out where we belong. Story of the universe. |