[JUDGED] Electric Surge [Arvakl x Thranduil] - Printable Version +- HELOVIA || The Way to the Sun (http://helovia.com) +-- Forum: Out of Character (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Archives (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=11) +---- Forum: Battle Archives (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=64) +---- Thread: [JUDGED] Electric Surge [Arvakl x Thranduil] (/showthread.php?tid=15691) |
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Electric Surge [Arvakl x Thranduil] - Thranduil - 09-19-2014 Oh how she leans in to the gold, drawn like Icarus to the sun, or like moths to a flame. Even he can not hide the feelings pulling her so close to him, and the grin upon his lips twists and curls. Those emerald eyes flash and she pulls forward and passes around him, dancing on her black dipped legs. The pink winged repeats his name, bowing like the king’s mistress before his bed. We must be humble to our subjects of course, so the twin horns dip to her with every ring of superiority and pride held in that dark heart. Again the girl ‘rounds him, as sizzling electricity begins to awaken his nerves. Front hoof lifts as paws the air with the energy that began to pinball within him. A good trick, a lady who knows how to play, and the heat of her body in this icy chasm was all just a little too much. So when her invitation came, it could not be turned down as the others had. No, this little king’s mistress would certainly find herself busy. Spanish neck curves back to her with earth eyes sparking a wild flare. He chuckles low, “Let’s see what’s under the hood.” The golden son winks at her, knowing exactly where her mind would go. Oh but the gold has something different planned. So get your mind out of the gutter and bring out those big guns. The air is a blaze with their tension, and no longer could the gold stand it. Forelegs burst up into a half rear, and vanilla locks are sent flying as the gold shakes free, embracing the electricity and making it his own. Adrenaline flooded his veins, becoming a compostable elixir when combined with the golden son’s pride. A roar of war lifted from that beast and split across the ice walls. A spar was a still a spar though, though there was no loosing this one. Trapped in the arch’s ceilings the girl could not raise very high, and icy floor was nearly as deadly as blades in places. The golden had home court advantage. For weeks he had been training out on the Steepe in ice and snow, and cloven hooves, like those of mountain goats had the advantage. In fact, the first time the gold had met this woman was out on the Steppe. She’d woken him, disturbing his peace, now he would destroy hers. Lifted up into a half rear the golden flashes her a look through his white flying hairs, then let the electricity explode. Neck curves away from her, pulling his body into a curve away. Then, far hind pushes straight, and the gold’s barred shoulder blade shot out towards where the pinked winged had been standing moments ago. It was as if he was answering her hidden begging wishes to feel his skin against her’s at last. Fore hooves reach out in front of him in a lunge, pulling his body out and straight again by aiming to land a yard or two before her own hooves. If their body’s did not meet his hooves would catch him, but if they did the spring back would help catch him. A madness was possessing this golden son in the release of energy and is ruptured forth in a twisted dark laughter. First cloven hoof lands on a thick patch of ice, and the laughter dies down quickly as the gold’s hoof slides. The second hoof lands more squarely and catches a rougher patch of the ice and grips. Back legs were already lifting up to come forward. For a moment the world paused as the golden feared slipping on this surface. Luck was on his side though. A rock captive of the ice stops his hoof’s ice skating career. The grin returns as solid footing was found for both of his fores, just as his weight shifted forward. The ice was upon his side, and it would not let its new golden son fall. So that next move was not entirely planned, but completely unavoidable. With the end of panic came endorphins, and another surge of adrenaline. It was too much to land quietly with, so that brown stripped back curls upward more, and those golden hinds go flying out and up. It could be near her head, but the gold carried not about the damages. He was a power force, ready to let loose on this girl who proved she could keep up with his mind. Now was the time to see if she could keep up with him a physically, but if not, well then, that’s just more to tease and taunt her on later. The gold needed to see though. He needed to know if she too felt that electric surge. ATTACK :: 1/3 +closing defense TAG :: @[Arvakl] WC :: 799 INJURY :: None MAGIC AND COMPANIONS :: Yes UNLIMITED TIME :: Yes NOTE:: PERMISSION GIVEN to state Arvakl was beside him at the start of the fight, and to start it in the Arch. I GIVE PERMISSION for Silk to choose which side Arvakl's on and to move it just outside of the Arch if she chooses. SETTING :: Inside the Arch around mid-day on a cool Orangemoon afternoon. Inside the arch looks like this only with rocks on the floor instead of crystals. The height of this particular place in the Arch allows for Arvakl to fly up fifteen feet unrestricted, after that, there may be stalactites of ice. There are sharp, smooth and rough places on the ice. Outside the Arch is rocky and pebbly with ice patches as well. SUMMARY :: Thranduil half rears, and curves away from Arvakl (which ever side she chooses) then kicks off towards her, hoping to strike her shoulder blade with his. He turns it into a lunge to land in front of her, but slips, caught only by a rock stuck in the ice. Feeling lucky he bucks. "speech" RE: Electric Surge [Arvakl x Thranduil] - Arvakl - 10-12-2014
RE: Electric Surge [Arvakl x Thranduil] - Blu - 11-08-2014 @[Thranduil] although this is an unlimited timeline if you continued to post elsewhere this fight will default. RE: Electric Surge [Arvakl x Thranduil] - Thranduil - 11-10-2014 Oh snap! Zing! Electricity in that golden’s body spazzes with the connection of tan and gold. How it sizzles and sparks, making the buck feel more like a snap of a machine. A howl echoes against the ice walls from behind him and the golden, and he knows exactly where that came from. Maybe a knock in the head would help that crazy bird see a little clearer about just who she was dealing with. This wasn’t some friendly competition, this more savage, more dangerous, and the stakes were higher than even she thought. The golden wanted to play with this little mistress, but that did not mean it would go smoothly for her. No, she must learn her place, and learn the gold was the master of this little game they played. With a devilish smile the gold un-curls his back to land his hinds. Black heart danced about within him and even though his feet had just now found land again, they were already charging and nerves arcing with electricity to lift up again. It was not a very safe place to play like this, but had that rock before not proven the gold was to win here. Had that not been fate smiling upon her golden son who romped and played with the charges about him? So as those golden hinds landed square those golden forelegs were lifts up again, shoulders rising to give them room and Spanish neck pulling his body up and along for another dance forward. He was invincible and completely untouchable, more so he would show this pink bird just what she was getting into. Oh…so we’re going to try and get a little sassy back now eh? Hot breath blows a moment on his back, before those hard pearls come scraping against that golden coat. Jaw grips, and harks pin back but there’s nothing to be done as the gold leaps. A sting of air and sickening touch of hot crimson tell him what he cannot see, that his own golden coat is now marred. The pretty girl’s grip slips though as the gold lifts away from her grip, and that gold coat is only left with two small slices. Cloven hooves touchdown on a patch of pebbles, which while they slide, do not allow him to slip. So landing fully that twin horned head flashes back to look at his cut left rump. A smirk, more sinister than before snaps back at that pink winged lass. Oh, but she’s got her own cuts, and the gold’s smirk turns to a grin as he laughs out at her, “You look good with a bit of blood, let’s see if more doesn’t up the appeal.” Front legs which had danced in place, still spitting with the electric surges in the air, now collect and canter the gold at the crazy bird once more. Tossing those twin horns, the gold lets loose a sign of the bent up energy with a low rough call to arms. Come on lassy, we can do better than this. Head on he comes, cantering about the ice, letting those wild surges carry him like a leaf through a tornado. No one is invincible though, and the ice, is a crueler mistress than the gold is master. So as that golden attempts to slide to a stop to snap out his teeth at the girl’s neck the ice is not as kind as before. Back dips, and cloven hinds tip back to stop, but the gold keeps going. Feeling his back end slip from is control, his front keeps pedaling to keep him up, but there is only one way to stay up. Open maw gives a wide grin as he begin to reach out to hopefully grab that pale girl’s flesh under her dark mane at the side of her neck. Why worry about sliding, he was (if the girl did not lift up with those wings, which was not in his thoughts) eventually going to hit her, unless she moved. Something told the girl, based on what he knew of her love for a little rough and tumble, she was not likely to move away from him. Gold coat trembles with the anticipation of another zap of that electric spark. ATTACK :: 2/3 +closing defense TAG :: @[Arvakl] WC :: 713 INJURY :: Two small cuts on his left rump about two inches long, and shallow. SUMMARY :: Landing, the gold takes off again, only to feel Ark's bite, which just barely breaks the skin. Enough though to get the gold charging back at her, and as he slides to a stop trying to bite her neck he slips on the ice and comes sliding right at her. "speech" RE: Electric Surge [Arvakl x Thranduil] - Arvakl - 12-02-2014
RE: Electric Surge [Arvakl x Thranduil] - Official - 12-31-2014 By my verdict: ARVAKL is the winner!
THRANDUIL Realism [+1] I was confused by your first attack. What is his body curving away from, and then why is he using his shoulder? Is he trying to hit her with his shoulder? Then why would he keep going straight? I think so more directional or ease sentences between the prose would have helped me get the idea of what was going on a little more. In your second post, I was also not really able to glean that Thranduil took the bite from Arvakl - I had to read your summary! Emotion [+2] The emotion in this battle was very good, full of life and fun! I particularly liked your references to the energy in the air as well as the sulty and sexy edge to their fight. Prose [+3] Post 1 || " a blaze " should just be "ablaze" otherwise it's literally a, singular blaze Post 1 || "Steepe" spelling Otherwise good! Readability [+1] There were a few issues I had with understanding where you took damage and where you were attacking, giving it this score. Finally tally: 46 + (2*7) = 60 HP *******************************************
ARVAKL Realism [+3.5] Your attacks and defenses are clear and make sense, and I particularly liked that you included how blood could get in the way of her seeing since she was cut on her face. Very good attention to detail. I would have appreciated more of an effort to bring in their different sizes and the environment, since you had the word space to do so! Emotion [+2] I definitely like the emotion I felt in this post from Arvakl. I liked how it took her a moment to get into the battle after wanting "you know what" and then finding that she liked this more! Prose [+2] Post 1 || " Oh handsome man, I forgot to tell you. This is my kink; I like it rough." I am not taking off points for this, but a better way to punctuate would be: "Oh, handsome man, I forgot to tell you this is my kink. I like it rough." Mainly because the last sentence can stand alone, but the way you wrote it, your first sentence was a runon. Post 1 | "ut I'm not: I'm not ready for the surge of energy that bursts from him, the most I've yet seen." This does not need a colon. I would try focusing on your punctuation and sentence structure a little more! There were a few run on sentences and some commas that needed to be put in better places. The words and the emotion were there, but it could have read a little better. Readability [+1.5] Readable! Finally tally: 49 + (9*2) = 67 HP |