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A Story of a Story - Essetia - 06-01-2015 Come to me, my sweetest Queen, for I’ve a story to tell. It’s probably not one you know by name, but one you should know well. Of a man named Douglas Kelley, taken by suicide they claim But you should know the telltale fate that comes alongside his name The Nazi ways were but a guise that took his world by storm He distrusted their food, a rightful shrewd But he abided by their games But upon his return home, he carried away their tact A bottle of something sickly sweet That he can’t take back A sip or two, or three or four Took that ether away But the papers did deny That he killed himself that day Do you find the rumors true, a fitting end for him? Or would you agree that the God would see his alternative a sin? I come to you, most tried and true to share this woeful tale But as it appears, of your barbs and sneers, your democracy is thin I’d come to believe that a lass like you, as dainty as a flower Would not possess a militant air, a cruel and judgmental glower Your war-battered smile is a sweet delight that catches a laddie’s eye One glimpse of you and he’s struck too by your immaculate attire But know that I come to share this tale, a bitter and dying end For your people are cursed, cast aside, disbursed… Forced to walk a trail, a path carved not of their sin RE: A Story of a Story - Essetia - 06-01-2015 AB 0/4 DT 0/3 HF 0/2 WE 0/2 RE: A Story of a Story - Mauja - 06-03-2015 Mauja blocks Ophelia. Come to me, my sweetest Queen, for I’ve a story to tell. gender reference; name reference (Ophelia, Hamlet, story?) It’s probably not one you know by name, but one you should know well. the story is called Hamlet but Ophelia is a character in it Of a man named Douglas Kelley, taken by suicide they claim Douglas Kelley was a spy, like Phi. Ophelia in Hamlet commits suicide But you should know the telltale fate that comes alongside his name The Nazi ways were but a guise that took his world by storm He distrusted their food, a rightful shrewd But he abided by their games But upon his return home, he carried away their tact A bottle of something sickly sweet That he can’t take back A sip or two, or three or four Took that ether away But the papers did deny That he killed himself that day Do you find the rumors true, a fitting end for him? Or would you agree that the God would see his alternative a sin? I come to you, most tried and true to share this woeful tale But as it appears, of your barbs and sneers, your democracy is thin barbs = horn, species ref I’d come to believe that a lass like you, as dainty as a flower Would not possess a militant air, a cruel and judgmental glower she's got some hefty battle-experience as well as a thing for vengeance Your war-battered smile is a sweet delight that catches a laddie’s eye Torleik! One glimpse of you and he’s struck too by your immaculate attire described as being "pure, flawless white" But know that I come to share this tale, a bitter and dying end For your people are cursed, cast aside, disbursed… Forced to walk a trail, a path carved not of their sin Isilme exodus as well as living under the Moon who did bad stuff which, of course, is associated with Edge RE: A Story of a Story - Essetia - 06-03-2015 Safe. AB 0/4 DT 0/3 HF 0/2 WE 1/2 RE: A Story of a Story - Ghost - 06-03-2015 Ghost protects herself. Come to me, my sweetest Queen, for I’ve a story to tell. Gender ref. Was once Essetia's Leader It’s probably not one you know by name, but one you should know well. Of a man named Douglas Kelley, taken by suicide they claim Former rank reference. Ghost was a spy. But you should know the telltale fate that comes alongside his name The Nazi ways were but a guise that took his world by storm He distrusted their food, a rightful shrewd But he abided by their games Ghost followed the Asylum But upon his return home, he carried away their tact A bottle of something sickly sweet That he can’t take back A sip or two, or three or four Ghost is four years old Took that ether away But the papers did deny That he killed himself that day Midas reference? Do you find the rumors true, a fitting end for him? Or would you agree that the God would see his alternative a sin? I come to you, most tried and true to share this woeful tale But as it appears, of your barbs and sneers, your democracy is thin "barb" Unicorn reference. "your democracy is thin" she doesn't have many friends I’d come to believe that a lass like you, as dainty as a flower Arab heritage Would not possess a militant air, a cruel and judgmental glower She's cold facing and rather uncaring. Your war-battered smile is a sweet delight that catches a laddie’s eye Was once described as seductive One glimpse of you and he’s struck too by your immaculate attire There are no white markings on her black coat But know that I come to share this tale, a bitter and dying end For your people are cursed, cast aside, disbursed… Lost the Hidden Falls Forced to walk a trail, a path carved not of their sin Those once in the HF are outcast/disbursed RE: A Story of a Story - Essetia - 06-03-2015 Safe. RE: A Story of a Story - Thranduil - 06-03-2015 Thranduil blocks Lena Come to me, my sweetest Queen, for I’ve a story to tell. It’s probably not one you know by name, but one you should know well. Of a man named Douglas Kelley, taken by suicide they claim Douglas Kelley was a doctor, as is Lena. But you should know the telltale fate that comes alongside his name The Nazi ways were but a guise that took his world by storm The Nazi's were warriors and racist, and many believe the Basin to be too He distrusted their food, a rightful shrewd But he abided by their games Lena tolerates the Basin's more rougher crowd But upon his return home, he carried away their tact A bottle of something sickly sweet That he can’t take back A sip or two, or three or four Took that ether away But the papers did deny That he killed himself that day Do you find the rumors true, a fitting end for him? Or would you agree that the God would see his alternative a sin? Lena believes in life as a healer I come to you, most tried and true to share this woeful tale But as it appears, of your barbs and sneers, your democracy is thin Barbs=unicorn I’d come to believe that a lass like you, as dainty as a flower Multiple references to flowers in her personality Would not possess a militant air, a cruel and judgmental glower Your war-battered smile is a sweet delight that catches a laddie’s eye In a relationship One glimpse of you and he’s struck too by your immaculate attire But know that I come to share this tale, a bitter and dying end For your people are cursed, cast aside, disbursed… Forced to walk a trail, a path carved not of their sin RE: A Story of a Story - Essetia - 06-03-2015 Safe. AB 1/4 DT 0/3 HF 0/2 WE 1/2 RE: A Story of a Story - Camon - 06-03-2015 Blocking for the sake of blocking....camon is safe XD Come to me, my sweetest Queen, for I’ve a story to tell. It’s probably not one you know by name, but one youshould know well. Of a man named Douglas Kelley, taken by suicide they claim But you should know the telltale fate that comes alongside his name The Nazi ways were but a guise that took his world by storm He distrusted their food, a rightful shrewd But he abided by their games But upon his return home, he carried away their tact A bottle of something sickly sweet That he can’t take back A sip or two, or three or four Took that ether away But the papers did deny That he killed himself that day Do you find the rumors true, a fitting end for him? Or would you agree that the God would see his alternative a sin? I come to you, most tried and true to share this woeful tale But as it appears, of your barbs and sneers, your democracy is thin I’d come to believe that a lass like you, as dainty as a flower - he is young, gangly, pretty to look at? Would not possess a militant air, a cruel and judgmental glower Your war-battered smile is a sweet delight that catches a laddie’s eye One glimpse of you and he’s struck too by your immaculate attire - he has swirling wind armor But know that I come to share this tale, a bitter and dying end For your people are cursed, cast aside, disbursed… - he comes from a magic less land Forced to walk a trail, a path carved not of their sin - he's a traveler RE: A Story of a Story - Gaucho - 06-03-2015 Gaucho watches his prisoner, Confutatis. Come to me, my sweetest Queen, for I’ve a story to tell. - Gender ref It’s probably not one you know by name, but one you should know well. Of a man named Douglas Kelley, taken by suicide they claim But you should know the telltale fate that comes alongside his name The Nazi ways were but a guise that took his world by storm - Ref to the Equine Empire, or Confu's World Eater title He distrusted their food, a rightful shrewd But he abided by their games But upon his return home, he carried away their tact A bottle of something sickly sweet That he can’t take back A sip or two, or three or four Took that ether away But the papers did deny That he killed himself that day - Magic ref - has poisonous saliva Do you find the rumors true, a fitting end for him? Or would you agree that the God would see his alternative a sin? I come to you, most tried and true to share this woeful tale But as it appears, of your barbs and sneers, your democracy is thin Ref to Gaucho has being a bit of a dictator and holding her prisoner. Barbs and sneers could also be an appearance ref for Confu I’d come to believe that a lass like you, as dainty as a flower Would not possess a militant air, a cruel and judgmental glower - Personality ref Your war-battered smile is a sweet delight that catches a laddie’s eye One glimpse of you and he’s struck too by your immaculate attire But know that I come to share this tale, a bitter and dying end For your people are cursed, cast aside, disbursed… Forced to walk a trail, a path carved not of their sin - History ref RE: A Story of a Story - Essetia - 06-03-2015 Safe & safe. AB 1/4 DT 1/3 HF 0/2 WE 1/2 RE: A Story of a Story - Mirage - 06-03-2015 Mirage blocks herself. posting from my phone so please forgive typos below. Come to me, my sweetest Queen, for I’ve a story to tell. **Former rank. It’s probably not one you know by name, but one you should know well. Of a man named Douglas Kelley, taken by suicide they claim But you should know the telltale fate that comes alongside his name The Nazi ways were but a guise that took his world by storm **led qian, who believed in equality,which can be compared to nazi/communism beliefs. He distrusted their food, a rightful shrewd But he abided by their games But upon his return home, he carried away their tact A bottle of something sickly sweet That he can’t take back A sip or two, or three or four Took that ether away But the papers did deny That he killed himself that day Do you find the rumors true, a fitting end for him? **lost in shadowlands Or would you agree that the God would see his alternative a sin? **brought back by moony I come to you, most tried and true to share this woeful tale But as it appears, of your barbs and sneers, your democracy is thin I’d come to believe that a lass like you, as dainty as a flower **gender ref Would not possess a militant air, a cruel and judgmental glower Your war-battered smile is a sweet delight that catches a laddie’s eye **new scars One glimpse of you and he’s struck too by your immaculate attire But know that I come to share this tale, a bitter and dying end For your people are cursed, cast aside, disbursed… **her former herd has been split up since her departure Forced to walk a trail, a path carved not of their sin RE: A Story of a Story - Essetia - 06-03-2015 Safe. Come to me, my sweetest Queen, for I’ve a story to tell. --Gender reference It’s probably not one you know by name, but one you should know well. Of a man named Douglas Kelley, taken by suicide they claim -- Douglas Kelley was spy and a Psychiatrist/Doctor at the Nuremburg Prison (Lakota is now an Apothecary and once an assassin/spy in they Grey) But you should know the telltale fate that comes alongside his name The Nazi ways were but a guise that took his world by storm He distrusted their food, a rightful shrewd But he abided by their games -- Lakota followed the World's Edge to the Hidden Falls and also the Grey to the Widtossed Foothills But upon his return home, he carried away their tact A bottle of something sickly sweet -- Kelley was rumored to have poisoned himself with potassium cyanide (Lakota the Poisioner) and if you google Douglas Kelley Suicide as referenced above, it'll bring up the article about it from which I pulled the information) That he can’t take back A sip or two, or three or four Took that ether away But the papers did deny That he killed himself that day --Fluff Do you find the rumors true, a fitting end for him? Or would you agree that the God would see his alternative a sin? I come to you, most tried and true to share this woeful tale But as it appears, of your barbs and sneers, your democracy is thin -- "Lakota was born and raised a princess, and as such is capable of being refined, aristocratic, and diplomatic. Whether or not she utilizes those attributes is entirely different. Lakota is often incredibly cynical, with a penchant (some would even call it an addiction) for sarcasm and sass." "However the most important thing about the Poisoner is that each barb and threat has meaning." Lakota is described to make barbs at others and has little connection with democracy I’d come to believe that a lass like you, as dainty as a flower -- "Slim and dainty, she doesn't appear to be much" described as dainty. Would not possess a militant air, a cruel and judgmental glower --but the scars that cover her body are tributes to her life as a warrior and a killer. Your war-battered smile is a sweet delight that catches a laddie’s eye --Seductive when regarding males One glimpse of you and he’s struck too by your immaculate attire --Equine reference But know that I come to share this tale, a bitter and dying end For your people are cursed, cast aside, disbursed… Forced to walk a trail, a path carved not of their sin --The Lakota people were forced to talk the trail of tears because of the Indian Removal act X.X RE: A Story of a Story - Odd - 06-04-2015 Lakota's Metal Face Plate was sought! Come to me, my sweetest Queen, for I’ve a story to tell. --Gender reference +1 | Gender ref It’s probably not one you know by name, but one you should know well. Of a man named Douglas Kelley, taken by suicide they claim -- Douglas Kelley was spy and a Psychiatrist/Doctor at the Nuremburg Prison (Lakota is now an Apothecary and once an assassin/spy in they Grey) -1 | It seems like he was known more for being a psychiatrist than a doctor (which Lakota isn't [a psychiatrist that is]). But there's also no reason for me to think of Kelley and his job description based on this clue. For me, the vagueness here would be like if you said, "Kelley had dark hair and so does Lakota" - there's just nothing to tie it together or to make me think I should be looking at his job. However the reason this gets a -1 rather than a 0 is the mention of suicide. I assume you added it in for the rhyme and to continue on describing Kelley's history, but mentioning suicide is really misleading. Lakota hasn't helped anyone commit suicide, nor has she committed suicide, nor was she alleged to have committed suicide. But you should know the telltale fate that comes alongside his name -1 | Makes me think of a character who is involved with history/is a seer/ has a reason to know something about this. The Nazi ways were but a guise that took his world by storm He distrusted their food, a rightful shrewd But he abided by their games -- Lakota followed the World's Edge to the Hidden Falls and also the Grey to the Widtossed Foothills -1 | I understand that this is just playing off of who Kelley was, but it was horribly misleading for me. I immediately thought of someone in the Plague, or at the very least the Basin tbh. The Edge was never racist, never plotted ... the Grey was strictly neutral, and the Foothills have never been mean :P But upon his return home, he carried away their tact A bottle of something sickly sweet -- Kelley was rumored to have poisoned himself with potassium cyanide (Lakota the Poisioner) and if you google Douglas Kelley Suicide as referenced above, it'll bring up the article about it from which I pulled the information) That he can’t take back 0 | The problem with really long stealths is that you either have to reiterate things often, or you'll get 0's. Clue's cannot refer to previous lines. So there is literally nothing here that refers to poison - a bottle of something sickly sweet could just as easily be alcohol, or anything else for that matter. A sip or two, or three or four Took that ether away But the papers did deny That he killed himself that day --Fluff -1 | Again, this is misleading. If Kelley took a pill, then it seems you're trying to make a point by saying it was a sip of something (which we know it wasn't). Also saying that the papers denied that he killed himself (when he in fact did it right in front of his wife and kid), makes me think of someone who gets away with things (Someone like Thran maybe, or when Mauja disappeared into the ocean.) Do you find the rumors true, a fitting end for him? Or would you agree that the God would see his alternative a sin? -1 | this makes me think of a character who is religious, or has clouded ethical views. I come to you, most tried and true to share this woeful tale But as it appears, of your barbs and sneers, your democracy is thin -- "Lakota was born and raised a princess, and as such is capable of being refined, aristocratic, and diplomatic. Whether or not she utilizes those attributes is entirely different. Lakota is often incredibly cynical, with a penchant (some would even call it an addiction) for sarcasm and sass." "However the most important thing about the Poisoner is that each barb and threat has meaning." Lakota is described to make barbs at others and has little connection with democracy +1 | Great personality ref. I’d come to believe that a lass like you, as dainty as a flower -- "Slim and dainty, she doesn't appear to be much" described as dainty. +1 | Good Would not possess a militant air, a cruel and judgmental glower --but the scars that cover her body are tributes to her life as a warrior and a killer. +1 | Good Your war-battered smile is a sweet delight that catches a laddie’s eye --Seductive when regarding males ??? | Is she? Where does it say that on her profile? One glimpse of you and he’s struck too by your immaculate attire --Equine reference 0 | How is this an equine reference? Immaculate means neat and tidy, or free from flaws. Since she isn't racist she wouldn't consider having horns or wings a flaw. When I hear immaculate in this context I think of someone who is worried about keeping themselves clean. But know that I come to share this tale, a bitter and dying end For your people are cursed, cast aside, disbursed… Forced to walk a trail, a path carved not of their sin --The Lakota people were forced to talk the trail of tears because of the Indian Removal act +1 | Clever Ultimately this comes out as a 0/3 for me, so a fail. It was really clever, but I think you ran into all of the hallmark problems of having a long stealth - things you put in as fluff or just to round out a rhyme ended up being misleading. Also, it's worth stressing again the each clue needs to be standalone. Almost all of your clues relied on understanding Douglas Kelley, and needed to be understood in the context of your stealth. So while I definitely was thinking poisoner when reading this, none of your clues allowed me to award points for it. RE: A Story of a Story - Blu - 06-06-2015 FAIL Come to me, my sweetest Queen, for I’ve a story to tell. --Gender reference +1| [Gender ref] yep! It’s probably not one you know by name, but one you should know well. 0| Fluff Of a man named Douglas Kelley, taken by suicide they claim -- Douglas Kelley was spy and a Psychiatrist/Doctor at the Nuremburg Prison (Lakota is now an Apothecary and once an assassin/spy in they Grey) -1| [Rank ref] Hmm, although a doctor, the fact he was especially a psychologist distracts me because Lakota is a healer by rank which is more direct medicine related than psychology. Additionally the way this clue is worded seems to suggest the suicide plays the greater roll of interest here, which to me doesn't relate to Lakota. But you should know the telltale fate that comes alongside his name 0| fluff The Nazi ways were but a guise that took his world by storm -1| [Personality ref] Nazi ways to me suggests a racist/supremacist which led me to thinking of the Plague or the Equine Empire. The Grey was never similar to a Nazi nor were they involved with any of the racist groups on here. He distrusted their food, a rightful shrewd 0| [Personality ref] Made me think of a distrusting/shrewd character. But he abided by their games -- Lakota followed the World's Edge to the Hidden Falls and also the Grey to the Widtossed Foothills 0| [History ref] This clue does not lead me to thinking of Lakota being in several herds, following her family. But upon his return home, he carried away their tact 0| fluff A bottle of something sickly sweet -- Kelley was rumored to have poisoned himself with potassium cyanide (Lakota the Poisioner) and if you google Douglas Kelley Suicide as referenced above, it'll bring up the article about it from which I pulled the information) 0| [Name ref] This was just too vague to point to poison for me, I was thinking more like alcohol. That he can’t take back 0| fluff A sip or two, or three or four 0| fluff Took that ether away 0| fluff But the papers did deny 0| fluff That he killed himself that day --Fluff 0| fluff Do you find the rumors true, a fitting end for him? 0| fluff Or would you agree that the God would see his alternative a sin? -1| [Personality ref] This seemed to suggest a religious character. I come to you, most tried and true to share this woeful tale 0| Fluff But as it appears, of your barbs and sneers, your democracy is thin -- "Lakota was born and raised a princess, and as such is capable of being refined, aristocratic, and diplomatic. Whether or not she utilizes those attributes is entirely different. Lakota is often incredibly cynical, with a penchant (some would even call it an addiction) for sarcasm and sass." "However the most important thing about the Poisoner is that each barb and threat has meaning." Lakota is described to make barbs at others and has little connection with democracy +1| [Personality ref] Awesome I’d come to believe that a lass like you, as dainty as a flower -- "Slim and dainty, she doesn't appear to be much" described as dainty. +1| [Appearance ref] Yep. Would not possess a militant air, a cruel and judgmental glower --but the scars that cover her body are tributes to her life as a warrior and a killer. -1| [Appearance ref] This clue doesn't lead me to think of scars, and you're saying she is a militant horse, but the clue says not militant. Your war-battered smile is a sweet delight that catches a laddie’s eye --Seductive when regarding males -1| [Personality ref] I don't see where this is true? One glimpse of you and he’s struck too by your immaculate attire --Equine reference 0| [Species ref] I get your idea with this one, but immaculate attire does not in and of itself mean equine to me. I would have been looking for someone without markings, or a solid, perhaps 'clean' color (like white) that fit into immaculate attire better than a species- as Aud said above, to think Equine are immaculate would require being an equine supremacist. But know that I come to share this tale, a bitter and dying end 0| fluff For your people are cursed, cast aside, disbursed… 0| Fluff Forced to walk a trail, a path carved not of their sin --The Lakota people were forced to talk the trail of tears because of the Indian Removal act 0| [Name ref] A great reveal for that clue, but little in this line that would point me in that direction. -2/3 necessary to pass Overall there was just too much. Too much fluff so that the real clues got lost and some fluff detracted from the clues or mislead. You seemed to rely on the whole stealth working as a whole, when each line is what is considered a clue and must stand alone. |