[P] So This Is What Failure Tastes Like | Res - Printable Version +- HELOVIA || The Way to the Sun (http://helovia.com) +-- Forum: Out of Character (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Archives (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=11) +--- Thread: [P] So This Is What Failure Tastes Like | Res (/showthread.php?tid=19830) |
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So This Is What Failure Tastes Like | Res - Quilyan - 06-15-2015
Two seasons had passed. For two seasons, he had searched. He had departed from his mate's side unwillingly, but nonetheless speedily, when he learned of their daughter's disappearance. He had felt nothing but fear - fear that he would not find her, fear that he would be too late, fear that she would be hurt or dead or dying when he did find her, fear that Resplendence would somehow blame him. Zarina had tried to keep him calm and failed - the panic had been maddening, but he had gone to every land, searched every corner of their land. He did not leave Helovia. He prayed that Rue did not cross that border. For two seasons, he had failed. His search had proven fruitless, his daughter nowhere to be found. He asked other travelers of her, but no one had seen her; he looked in caves and in thickets, anywhere that a scared filly would think to hide. And yet... nothing. There was nothing and no one, no clues and no signs. Rue was gone, well and truly gone, and he had been able to do nothing to find her. He had failed her, he had failed Resplendence, and, worst of all, he had failed himself. The prince came to the Hidden Falls with his head low and his heart lower, dreading what he would find behind the hills and water of the herdland. What would she say when he told her that he had found nothing? That her young, innocent, naive daughter was out in the world all alone? That she may very well be dead by now? Would she hate him? Blame him? Why was it that he could seem to do no right by her, that he never managed to find a place to call his own? Why had it been so difficult for him to do anything for the herd, when she gave so selflessly all the time? "Resplendence?" he called after a moment, halfway hoping that she wouldn't hear him over the pounding falls. "more words." @[Resplendence] Quilyan
counting on the night for a beautiful day;
subtlepatterns.com | kaydeniro & larfsalot @ deviantart
RE: So This Is What Failure Tastes Like | Res - Resplendence - 06-15-2015
RE: So This Is What Failure Tastes Like | Res - Quilyan - 06-15-2015
When she arrived, she glittered in the evening light. He had forgotten the way that she glowed, sparkling red in the coming moonlight, the last dying rays of the setting sun reflected in her eyes. She had always been his light in the darkness, illuminating a path for him where he had thought none existed. When the magic had fallen upon her, he had been pleased that others would finally see her as he did: a beautiful, almost celestial being with an illuminated mind, capable of not only healing but also of creating. What she had built with him, within him, had no precedence. He loved her in many ways, for many reasons, but this - this was at the heart of it all, the driving force behind his passion for her. The medic flung herself at him, and he braced against the force of her weight as he wrapped his wings around her, enveloping her in the soft golden down that had been her refuge time and time before. He closed his eyes, burying his muzzle in her shimmering mane, breathing in her scent. Her smell was sweet, but sharp - somehow, it had always reminded him of roses, mingled with the herbs that she held so dear. It was feminine and uniquely hers, and the thought of it had kept him sane over the last two seasons, those horrid six months of failure. The thought of his defeat sobered him suddenly. How could she be so pleased to see him when he had not managed to find their daughter? He had expected to return to find her sick with worry, but she had come gleefully to him, no tears in her lovely golden eyes. He masked his confusion, wanting to preserve her happiness, protect her emotions. Perhaps she was so pleased because she thought his return meant that he had succeeded. He didn't want to let her down, to admit that he had returned alone. He had but a moment before she asked where Rue was, then, and he wanted to cherish it before he had to see the disappointment in her eyes. "Of course I'm alive, my sweet princess" he agreed, allowing a teasing note to enter his voice. "I told you that I would always find you. How could I do that if I were not among the living?" He hesitated, then sighed, pain creeping into his heart again. "But... I am afraid I have failed you, my love. I wanted to bring our daughter home, but I couldn't find her. I'm so sorry, Resplendence. I love you so much, but... I've failed you." Again. "more words." @[Resplendence] Quilyan
counting on the night for a beautiful day;
subtlepatterns.com | kaydeniro & larfsalot @ deviantart
RE: So This Is What Failure Tastes Like | Res - Resplendence - 06-16-2015
RE: So This Is What Failure Tastes Like | Res - Quilyan - 06-16-2015
Kaj. Of course Kaj found her, the prince projected through his bond with Zarina. She chirped softly, a sound that could be taken for relief but was meant to convey her concern. Her bonded sounded dejected in a way that she could not place. -You aren't pleased.- the marmoset said, a statement more than a question. But he remained silent, refusing to give voice to his guilt and jealousy. How many times would his golden brother come to his mate's rescue when he was notably absent? How many times would Kaj take his place before it became permanent? But he had found Rue - and he had done it months ago. So why had Quilyan been exiled to the Wilds for so long? Why had no one come to find him? They had left him, left him alone and angry and afraid in the woods, destined to fail at a task he might have succeeded in, except Kaj had stolen it from him, doomed him to failure then chosen not to even tell him about it. He was suddenly furious. Zarina's beseeching, soothing words meant nothing to him just then, for someone had kept him from his family, taken his success from him, and left him to die out there. He was not angry with Resplendence. Never was he angry with her. So when he tensed with sudden fury, he hid it in a quick tightening of his embrace, for he did not want her to see the depth of his anger. She adored Kaj, he knew - and so had the prince, for all the good it had done him. He had made the stallion his daughter's godfather, for goodness' sake. And this is how the brute repaid him. Was he overreacting? Had his long, arduous journey tired him? Perhaps. Nevertheless, he filed away the anger and the hatred, allowing that he was happy to find his family once more together. And it is my family, he seethed. Zarina promptly gave up and scampered over to perch upon Resplendence's withers, peeved and worried in equal measure. "My love, I promise you, whatever we do from now on, we will do it together. I will not leave the herdland without you by my side, and where you go, I will follow. Our family is all that matters. Please don't cry," he added in a whisper, pulling her closer still. "I will not leave you again. You are all I want." His voice dropped again. "All I need." "more words." @[Resplendence] Quilyan
counting on the night for a beautiful day;
subtlepatterns.com | kaydeniro & larfsalot @ deviantart
RE: So This Is What Failure Tastes Like | Res - Resplendence - 06-16-2015
RE: So This Is What Failure Tastes Like | Res - Quilyan - 06-16-2015
She had missed him, he knew that. She loved him, just as deeply and passionately as he loved her, and she would never leave him to fend for himself in the Wilds. They had found each other, time and again, after separations and anxieties and even wars. No, she was not to blame, and he hated that she felt so strongly that the fault was hers to claim and shoulder alone. Kaj, though... Kaj could have searched. Anyone could have searched. Kaj probably didn't even find the filly. She probably wandered back home, leaving Kaj able to present her to the wretched mess that Resplendence had surely been in the absence of her family. Zarina hissed softly, a warning. "Zarina's right," he said abruptly, masking the marmoset's true intentions - snapping him out of the hateful spiral he was quickly becoming trapped in. "You musn't blame yourself, my darling. Shhh... shhh..." His left wing slipped away as he sidled closer to her, pressing the length of his barrel against hers and draping his right wing more thoroughly over her. She was so small that his primaries rested gently against the ground beside her hooves. He threw his head over her nape, pulling her so that her ear would be close to his heart. He shoved the darkness from his mind, pushing and prodding until it was locked away behind the steel doors of his subconscious, left alone to seethe and grow and warp. He could not give in, not here, not now - not while he had his mate to console. Never again would she be reduced to crying into some other stallion's wing. No, he was home now, and he'd like to see anyone try and get between he and his love. He called up his magic, gently impressing calm upon Resplendence's mind. He did not use too much, for he did not want to destroy the emotion, the truth of her feelings. No, he applied only enough to chase out the panic, to burn away the hysteria. "Hush, my darling. We're all home and together now. You musn't worry yourself, it doesn't matter, nothing matters except that we're together again. It's all over now, princess. I'm home." "more words." @[Resplendence] Quilyan
counting on the night for a beautiful day;
subtlepatterns.com | kaydeniro & larfsalot @ deviantart
RE: So This Is What Failure Tastes Like | Res - Resplendence - 06-17-2015
RE: So This Is What Failure Tastes Like | Res - Quilyan - 06-18-2015
"I should have tried harder." "No one tries harder than you, my lady," he whispers, gently massaging his way from her poll to her withers. He allows all else to fade from his mind, focusing entirely on her - her feel and her taste and her smell. In days to come, he will have his fill of the look of her, the sound of her laugh (which he is determined to hear) - but for now he closes his eyes, falls into silence, merely holding her against him and offering himself as some inadequate form of comfort. He listens as her breathing slows, steadies; he feels, more than hears, her heartbeat calm. He wonders how long she has gone without sleep, how many hours she has devoted to either ceaseless worrying or working to drive the wild concern from her mind. He caresses her withers gently, lulling her into a form of serenity that he will work endlessly to maintain. She will never be alone again. "Sleep," he agrees, slowly retracting his wing enough that she can walk, albeit with his wing still across her back. "Lead the way." A small part of him marvels at the efforts she has made, the life she has carved out already for them in the depths of the Hidden Falls. He has come back to a home, and the notion surprises and enthralls him in equal measure. They wander to the garden, sleep beckoning. The last thing he remembers is the way she feels against him. He sleeps. "more words." @[Resplendence] Quilyan
counting on the night for a beautiful day;
subtlepatterns.com | kaydeniro & larfsalot @ deviantart
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