[P] all those wiggles! - Printable Version +- HELOVIA || The Way to the Sun (http://helovia.com) +-- Forum: Out of Character (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Archives (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=11) +--- Thread: [P] all those wiggles! (/showthread.php?tid=20139) |
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all those wiggles! - Ranjiri - 07-23-2015 Ranjiri { "Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
It occurred to me as I stood in the middle of the meadow shivering that I really wasn't meant for the cold. My coat was too thin from living for so long in the Throat so I had little to insulate me against the onslaught of snow and frigid wind that buffeted against me. I trembled as I stood and the snow gathered around my hooves and up my legs, a testament to how long I'd been standing in that one place. Each breath I took burned my throat and each exhale was a cloud that made frost cling to my whiskers... I should have stayed home, but I had needed an escape. After telling Cera about dad I just ... I needed to get away. I needed to clear my head. I needed to be alone again even though I had been alone for so long. And... I guess I needed to think a little bit, too, about what Cera had said about my memories and about his. Was it really okay for me to keep that memory about how dad died? Was it right for me to get rid of it and pretend like it didn't happen? Would it be disrespectful to get rid of it...? I just wanted all of this to pass. I wanted to to be finished with all of the pain and the grief. I wanted to be able to just ... I don't know. I wanted to feel okay again. I didn't like feeling so fragile. Or so lost. I wanted to be able to sleep without being plagued by nightmares. I didn't want to feel so angry deep down inside about an invasion that I couldn't control and an outcome that I also didn't have any control over. I just ... I wanted to be myself again. I snorted and I could feel the tickle of a tear rolling down my cheek so I ducked my head down to rub against my foreleg. The last thing I wanted was my tears frozen to my face... no, I suppose that was wrong. The last thing I wanted was to be frozen in place and that's what was happening. I could feel the cramping in my muscles and it was painful to force myself to take a step forward, but I did. And I took another step and it occurred to me that at the rate I was going I'd be frozen solid before I ever made it out of the meadow and back to the Throat. @[Destrier] "." ooc:// weather: uhh ... heavy snowfall but not quite a blizzard? RE: all those wiggles! - Destrier - 08-09-2015
RE: all those wiggles! - Ranjiri - 08-09-2015 Ranjiri { "Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
Sometime between the first step I took and the second ... or maybe it was the third I stopped because the cold just made my muscles hurt too much. I thought about the Basin and I couldn't help but wonder just how anyone could choose to live in something like this. Why, when there was sun and sand, warm breezes that were cooled by the ocean? Maybe I would feel different if I had spent far less time in the Throat, but I'd been shaped by the climate and my life there. The heat was comforting, the sand could be an annoyance at times, but I think would take that over snow if given the choice. "Hello." I was shaking too hard to even flinch at the sound of his voice, but my heart still felt like it leapt up into my mouth. I turned my head toward the stallion, but before I could say anything to him he was introducing himself and asking if I needed help. "..c-cold." I stammered as he told me that I looked terribly cold. I was cold and miserable and did it make me terrible that I wanted to press myself against his side and suck up all of his body heat like a giant sponge? Did it make me rude that I couldn't move my mind past just how cold I was to be able to even utter my name or a 'hello' in return? My brain had to be just as frozen as the rest of my body was. His dragon flew away and the sudden movement made me flinch, but then he was asking to make a fire for me and, honest to god, I could have kissed his hooves right then and there. "Please..." I muttered shakily. Oh god, a fire. I needed the heat so terribly that even thinking about it was enough to lift my spirits just a little. "Th-thank you..." But I was so ready for some kind of warmth right then that I found myself moving toward him. My movement was jerky and awkward, but I was trying my hardest to get closer to Destrier so I could press against his side. "I'm so cold." I was whispering even though it was obvious. @[Destrier] "." ooc:// weather: uhh ... heavy snowfall but not quite a blizzard? RE: all those wiggles! - Destrier - 08-09-2015
RE: all those wiggles! - Ranjiri - 08-09-2015 Ranjiri { "Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
I didn't have to move far because the stallion, Destrier, took it upon himself to shuffle closer to my side and press against me. The only problem was that my wing was in the way and was blocking him from getting as close as I needed him to, so I lifted it and draped it awkwardly across his back and hoped that he wouldn't mind. I didn't feel his body heat at first and I guess that was because I was so cold. We only stood there side by side for a short time before he draped his neck over mine and I turned my head to press my cheek against his chest. If the situation had been different, if I had not been so cold I wouldn't have accepted such contact, nor would I have sought it out but at that moment I was insanely grateful for it. "Its alright. Focus on warming up; we've got you. You're safe now." "Th-thank you." I stammered again and I shut my eyes as I stood there because I was beginning to feel his body heat seeping into my own frozen frame. I only opened my eyes again when I heard the crackling of fire and I don't think I'd ever seen something so beautiful. Fire. Warmth. It assaulted me and I guess my body didn't know how to react to heat from Destrier and heat from the fire that his dragons (how did he have two?) had made for us. I stood there in silence for some time, watching the flames and the dragons as my body and my mind both thawed. I don't know how long it took, I just stood there soaking up as much of the warmth as I could get, but eventually I could feel how my mind was a bit clearer. I remember thinking that I wasn't going to be leaving the Throat until Frostfall was over and there was not a single snowflake sticking to the ground that didn't belong there. And I thought about how lucky I was that Destrier and his dragons found me when they did, otherwise I'd just be a frozen statue. "...I'm Ranjiri." I finally murmured because I still hadn't told him what my name was. "From... I live in the Dragon's Throat." I thought that that would explain my lack of any significant winter coat because you don't really need one living in the desert, I guess. I mean ... yeah, it gets cold but not this cold. "You're really warm." I murmured as I began to realize just how much body heat he was giving off. It was almost like he was fire. "." RE: all those wiggles! - Destrier - 08-15-2015
RE: all those wiggles! - Ranjiri - 08-16-2015 Ranjiri { "Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
He introduced himself as Destrier from the Falls, but I remained quiet because I was too focused on feeling the warmth from the fire and his body seeping into my muscles and bones. It was like my body was coming back to life. I could feel the dull ache in my muscles that I guessed came from being so cold for so long. When he introduced the 'two terrors' as Suli and Merlin I looked down at one then the other... the green one that was watching me. "How d-did you get two?" I asked the question that had perplexed me while I stood frozen and watched as they'd built the fire. "If I may ask... What are you doing so far from home?" "I..." And my voice died in my throat because what was I supposed to say? Would it be appropriate to lie and say that I'd been patrolling and got stuck in the snowstorm? Or that I'd gone out for a walk and got lost? Or should I tell the truth about how I was horrible and wanted to be alone and got stuck out here? That karma's twisted sense of justice finally caught up with me led to me being half frozen and miserable? Would it be okay to just say that I didn't want to talk about it even though I may have owed him some explanation, especially after he'd saved my life? He'd saved my life. "I uh... I did something bad." I whispered because I decided that I owed him a little bit of the truth, at the very least. "...and I wanted to be alone... and I got stuck out here..." Even though he'd lifted his head up a few minutes before to allow me to move, I guessed, I stayed where I was. I kept my face hidden from his view mostly because I didn't want to see any judgmental look as I whispered "I'm horrible." "." RE: all those wiggles! - Destrier - 09-15-2015
RE: all those wiggles! - Ranjiri - 09-24-2015 Ranjiri { "Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
"You do not need to tell me if you do not wish. But if you want... I am here to listen and help." He was nothing more than a stranger and there he was offering to help me even more. He already was warming my nearly frozen body, his dragons had built a fire, her was giving me comfort that I needed and ... and he was still offering more. Why? I felt a bump against my leg and I looked down at the green dragon as she curled around my leg and then Destrier was saying 'We are here to help.' What did it matter why he was there or why he was worrying himself over me? All that mattered was that someone cared, right? "I watched my dad die..." I whispered because I was scared to say it any louder. "In the Basin... I watched." But it got worse. "He was buried in the Falls, I went and I watched again." And it continued to get worse. "I didn't tell my brother..." I shook my head then because I knew how wrong I had been not to tell Cera. "I let him think dad was alive. I avoided him. I let him think that I was mad at him and that I hated him." But I could never hate Cera. It hurt knowing that he could even think that. "I ... I was trying to protect him." I tried to explain. "I didn't want him to know. I didn't want him to hurt like I was. I was just trying to protect him." I repeated. "But... he made me tell him. He wouldn't let me go and I tried to get away and I ... I attacked him. I made him bleed." I'd hurt him more than if I would have just told him in the first place and I knew that and I hated myself for it. "I'm horrible. I deserve this." I looked at the snow, the frozen ground, the icicles hanging from the trees and as I did so I pulled myself away from Destrier because I didn't deserve his warmth or his comfort. "." @Destrier |