[JUDGED] I See You [Ashamin v. Isopia] - Printable Version +- HELOVIA || The Way to the Sun (http://helovia.com) +-- Forum: Out of Character (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Archives (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=11) +---- Forum: Battle Archives (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=64) +---- Thread: [JUDGED] I See You [Ashamin v. Isopia] (/showthread.php?tid=21220) |
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I See You [Ashamin v. Isopia] - Ashamin - 10-20-2015 the haruspex
It was not as if the Haruspex was ever alone. Alone was a powerful word that he did not like to use, not now when he had so many on his side. Ashamin had been alone, and he had suffered through cold, and this was nothing like that at all. This was just a lack of accompaniment, a temporary state of being that he could count on going away. He would at some point turn around and go home. There, tracing lines of charcoal dust on a stone ground, would be his companion. Ashamin would hang his sarong and necklace on the outcropping of ice that had stubbornly refused to melt, let his coil slide off of his tail, and he would rest. Eventually, all that would come to pass. So when he pulled his figure under the multicolored shade of the rotunda's vast and strong roof and found the space uninhabited, he was not crippled with the fear of permanent abandonment he might have once felt. He had met Cashmere here and worried about that feeling but come to the conclusion that with Lochan and his herd behind him, he would always have a home. Now, eyes wide in the hours of his nocturnal waking, he could think back to that safety and be assured. From his painted figure hung a web of scars and trophies, recently attained. Amulets--the function of which he was still uneducated in--were clipped to the sarong that clutched his breast with warmth. His electric coils hummed faintly, occasionally illuminating his tail with faint blue streaks in the dark. The necklace, on which he wore the fang of the Bear God, swung to and fro as he wandered the rotunda. The warmth of the even floor beneath his hooves was a comfort, but the night itself provided too little cold in this season for him to really appreciate it. Such things as heat and cold were only distinguishable with contrast. Here, in the dark night that just barely shed patterns of color on the floor and the Haruspex's quad-colored frame, there was barely any contrast at all. Everything was shadow: the delicate absence of light in which the Haruspex saw best. His black eyes were filled with pupil, not that anyone could have made out the difference in either light or gloom. He gazed with an absent sort of calm out over the faintly illuminated nature outside the Rotunda's scope. Ashamin wanted to lie down in it, stretch himself until he became indistinguishable from the roots and rotting corpses of too slow prey. The battles had tired him but still he longed for another fight, as if the constant discipline to practice was becoming more of a need. The urge, to fight and to maybe one day lose horribly, was difficult to quell. He mused that once you had made up your mind to die, no matter how much changed and turned you from that fate, it became difficult to ever live without the thought of it. It was good that he wasn't really alone; someone needed to watch over his soul. All Ashamin needed was the possibility of a rustle of a figure in the brush, maybe he had heard nothing at all. Still he called out, his voice steadier than it would have been just seasons before but plagued with the exhaustion of too much blood recently shed. "Who goes? Come, show yourself. I'm seeking a challenge tonight." PC: 0/3 AP, 0/1 DP WC: 575/800 Timeline: Standard (3 weeks) Setting: Night in the Ancient Rotunda. There is only a sliver of a moon, and light is very scarce. The only sounds that can be heard is the faint burbling of the water and the occasional rustling of wildlife. The rotunda's floor is faintly warm, still cooling off from the heat of the day. Summary: Ashamin stands around in the rotunda, calls out. He has amulets, his sarong, his coil, and his mask with him. Notes: Odd will be OOC teaching me for this spar. Thanks Odd! Also, this isn't a challenge, that's just how Ashamin talks. Odd, feel free to make the first attack if you would like. RE: I See You [Ashamin v. Isopia] - Isopia - 10-27-2015
RE: I See You [Ashamin v. Isopia] - Ashamin - 10-27-2015 the haruspex
When the rustle gave no reply, Ashamin searched for its heartbeat in earnest. Nothing but a fluttering, just the innocent fast pace of a rabbit. He saw the creature only moments later, timidly staring back with wide eyes, and scolded himself for such a brash call. No, surely he was alone. Who would come to the rotunda to spar on a night like this? This was a night for lovers. Ashamin thought vaguely of his time spent in the secret grove. First with a filly, then in a dream. There hadn't been much there for him but death, either as he narrowly escaped it or longed for it, but he wouldn't be surprised if others were there now having a much better time. Meanwhile, he was in the ancient rotunda watching a rabbit flash its white tail at him as a sign of departure. He was, as usual, alone. ... Or so he thought. The haruspex didn't have time to turn back to look into the rotunda before he heard the faint humming beneath him. He knew little of magic--he had only just discovered his own--but he knew that strange humming sounds should be avoided, supernatural or not. As soon as the first pitch sounded he bolted, swift as ever on his delicate deer hooves. He would not be caught standing still like a fool again, not like he had been caught with Torleik or Rikyn. But Ashamin also couldn't stop curiousity from welling up, especially not when he felt a few stray droplets catch the base of his tail as he left the rotunda's shadow; who was the mysterious attacker who had sneaked up on him (surely from behind, Ashamin falsely presumed he would have seen anyone capable of this had they been ahead of him) and how come they hadn't announced themselves? It was that unanswered question, that turned him around. His body swung as his hooves launched delicately from the stone, and he landed on the earth bordering the rotunda's floor. The buck stopped short, curled his lip in confused concern, and then made his grave error. Ashamin, poor hopeless thing, turned to look back and opened his eyes, wide. Though he had felt the steam rising at his back--expanding his pores and quickening the beat of his heart as it struggled with the explosion of high temperature--it had not occurred to him that such a force could be blinding. The thick clouds of white evaporation clogged his senses and his coal eyes stung. They welled up with useless tears, and the haruspex thought of all the times he hadn't cried--the times more appropriate than this. But as incapacitated as he was, chance was in his favor. As his body had halted, one poorly anchored amulet had flung itself from his sarong. Into the mist the adornment had descended, unleashing power of which the Haruspex knew nothing. If the God of the Spark's token, earned from Ashamin's victory over Caleb, did as it was meant to the strange attacker's heat might just burn the earth beneath them. If Ashamin had known as much, he would have hoped fervently for such luck. But as it were, it was only his false knowledge--his assumption that the attacker had been behind him in the rotunda at the time of the attack--that inspired him to seek out a heartbeat like his own: one pumping harder, beating faster, struggling with the heat. Such electric pulses could perhaps give him a clue, if only he could find the right ones in all the sturm und drang. It's one way... the buck struggled to think. The whole thought, whatever it had been, faded into the steam and settled into the air with a stagnant resilience. Ashamin wouldn't find the rest of it, he could only hope he'd not make too much of a fool of himself. He wanted to call out something in the mist, perhaps accuse his opponent of their obvious cowardice, but his mouth felt sticky and he struggled to still his motion. Ever since the steam had flooded his orbs he had been stumbling slowly backwards, and as a result he was unaware of the bird directly in his accidental path. Still he sought out electric heartbeats, filtering through the scattered pulses of the wildlife around him. If only I could... Ashamin nickered with worry and furrowed the brow beneath his horn, trying to concentrate. If only I could find them! And with that he lifted his left hind hoof and kicked backwards in frustration, his strike aimed (though perhaps not successfully and definitely accidentally) for the bird at his back. He just had to find the right heartbeat, and then he would know how comical that instinctive release of muscle and tension had been. "" PC: 1/3 AP, 0/1 DP WC: 793/800 Timeline: Standard (3 weeks) Summary: Ashamin hears the humming in the stone and bolts, avoiding the worst of it. Hoping to find his attacker he looks back, getting hit by the steam and causing his eyes to sting and his vision to be temporarily compromised. When he swings his head to look back one of his spark amulets comes loose from his sarong and falls on the ground so it is activated, in theory sending the heat back to Isopia. He listens for a heartbeat that might be affected by the heat (IE, beating harder) like his is, to try and identify his attacker, whom he assumes is under the rotunda and thus also affected by the steam. In stumbling with obscured vision from the rotunda and kicking with his left hind hoof in frustration, he perhaps hits bird Isopia unintentionally. Notes: It's getting hot in here :o RE: I See You [Ashamin v. Isopia] - Isopia - 11-01-2015
RE: I See You [Ashamin v. Isopia] - Ashamin - 11-06-2015 the haruspex
Ashamin felt three things, and he felt them all at once. First, he felt the cool patter of rainfall at his back. Second came the shuddering impact of another body's bones crashing against his errant hoof and the hot spatter of blood. Last, the release of the stinging hold of steam on his gaze. So with that, Ashamin saw two things: First, the shattered amulet on the ground and the earth rising to eat it up in a display of unnatural greed. Second, out of the corner of his eye, the sopping figure of the mare from the God Battles; more specifically, the traitorous one that had fought against her own god and hurt many helovians with her magic in the process. Thus, he felt one thing: Rage. "YOU!" pushed out from between his lips with a force so loud that he almost scared himself. But that was a milder part of him that showed fear--his warrior's side felt only anger, and it was a hot and energizing thing. Ashamin felt it fill him and his whole figure straightened with the realization of his opponent's identity. "Of course, of course it is you! Only one as faithless as you would have the indecency to strike me so," a sneer, so uncharacteristic of such a kind hearted beast, played across his features. He turned to face her more fully, happy now that her blood soaked his hoof and her exposed bone shone even in the dim light. As he circled right to try and face her head on, he left her magic behind him so the earth shifted beneath no part of him and left him entirely unaffected. "First you fight my God like a coward," he crowed with ignorance, "and now you fight me!" A neigh like a roar erupted from his throat. He felt crazed--he felt like laughing. Never before, not even against Rikyn, had he fought with such animosity. But this mare who had so blatantly betrayed the gods that had made, blessed, and guarded the very earth she walked upon, existed outside of his typical understanding of others. It took so little regard for the heavens to act in such a way, and so much cowardice! To any who would call defying a God brave, the painted buck would counter instead with heretical recklessness. Though Ashamin found religion to be healing more often than condemning, he felt himself blessed with the opportunity to strike down one so errantly proud of her disloyalty and sin. For if there was anything he valued the most, it was loyalty. And he had seen this mare at other battles, too, seen her fight with more caution and religious care. So why had she fought against his God? For a second, he held doubt and a fear for his God's moral code close to his breast. A second longer, and it was gone--replaced, as everything, with hate. Ashamin knew it would be better to wait and see, perhaps, to think things through, but he was too fueled by that powerful hatred. It was so rare that he hated so completely, so foreign a feeling, but it felt good--undeniably, spectacularly good. He was standing up for something, wasn't he? As the buck finished his circle and lunged (all the while teeth snapping with aimless fury for what he hoped was her face, her neck, her anything) he could not deny that fact. It felt so good. Even if he was foolishly throwing himself against one much larger and apparently stronger than he, it felt good. Surely, he didn't have to follow his own advice to be cautious always, did he? He wanted her to feel, too, just how wonderful it was to face and wound the wicked witch that had warred with the God of the Spark. With something like a twisted glee Ashamin cast his heartbeat at her, hoping she'd feel the confidence he felt in her own chest and perhaps lose focus, or at least a clear sight of her own electric pulse. That is, if she had one at all. "" PC: 2/3 AP, 0/1 DP WC: 680/800 Timeline: Standard (3 weeks) Summary: Turns around to try face her front and lunges at her, biting vaguely in the face neck area as he does. Sends his steady/confident heartbeat into her chest to try and scare/distract/throw her off. Notes: Not great, sorry, I'm totally wiped. Thanks for your comments and sorry for the wait. RE: I See You [Ashamin v. Isopia] - Isopia - 11-08-2015
RE: I See You [Ashamin v. Isopia] - Ashamin - 11-14-2015 the haruspex
Overall, Ashamin was at a disadvantage. The mare towered over him, bore more powerful and destructive magic, and had composure he lacked. While she kept cool he burned, his whole body filling up with fire of uncontrolled and uninformed hate. Would he respond this way in a conversation instead of a spar? No. But she'd attacked him without honor, hiding in the shadows and ambushing him with arcane knowledge he'd no chance of grasping. I didn't touch you, she chimed like a child, as if Ashamin were too stupid to connect the mare to the magic. The water and heat had heralded the coming of another, he would have to be a horrible seer to not recognize that. But fine, she could understimate his intelligence as much as she wanted, he would still know where he stood. He had no sympathy for a fighter like that, even one who by all accounts could strike him down easily. But he could stay standing; he could resist, persist. Whether it was his body or his mind that gave him this, he was thankful either way. And though she may have had a mind quick and clever enough to think of intricate attacks, her body did not follow. His teeth clamped on her neck and his body pressed forward. The success was enough to make his own heart beat faster, wherever it was. And his eyes, too, were wide and always watching. So many nights spent searching the mirror had sharpened his vision in low light. His grip on her neck released to let him move freely, so as she reared so did he--not matching her height but tossing back his decorated head and horn down and to the right so it was safe from her kick. She could not catch him that easily. Whatever she may have thought, he was no fool. When his heartbeat found its way into her chest he could feel its energy fade in his own breast. He felt cool, relaxed, and focused--his warrior's spirit doing its work, too. Like a sniper he could strike between heartbeats for accuracy. After moving his head he snapped his teeth, striving again to bite but this time at her chest, and threw forth his tail like a whip. What sort of damage could his coil cause if it managed to make contact with this mare's exposed knee? There was a beautiful irony in the idea. As he tried to bring the two gold coils in contact with the bloody white of her bone he thought of his God, the one whom she'd fought against. From everything she said, it became clear she had no clue who he was or what he was saying. He took it from a distant view, trying to decide if he should be sympathetic as he always was and give her some freedom, or if he needed to strike back even harder. What was right--the former--was very clear. So just as he was about to suggest a reprieve for the both of them, her wide, winged body landed and the ground beneath Ashamin's two grounded hooves sputtered in warning. He should have landed and run then but he wasn't certain he had time. He wrenched his heartbeat from her breast, returning it to him fully, and let the surge send him unsteadily away from her magic. His muscles bunched and he tried to focus, to tuck his forelegs perfectly underneath and before his chest as his father had once tried to show him. Like this, Asha, Veril had said tenderly. His father had never taken his eyes off of Ashamin, not for any second in one of those airs--or ever. But now Ashamin struggled to remember exactly how to move his body, now only slightly less awkward than when his father had failed to train him. Ashamin couldn't even remember the name of the maneuver, let alone exactly how to do it. He felt young. The world seemed to slow as the ground rose up. The darkness of the night and the persistence of the black sky became the only things he could rely on. That, of course, and his father. Too little and too late, Ashamin leapt forward and to his left in a mangled courbette. The moving ground beneath him wrecked his balance, and the hooves that had been positioned to leave from solid ground instead launched themselves off the edge of uneven pillars. He cursed as he landed--somehow on all four feet. But the front left ankle rolled ever slightly on impact, and though the Haruspex knew the strain on it was temporary it was enough to waylay him for now. He looked back on the scene, his body now drifting from hers as his stumbling landing faded into stillness. What was left now? "" PC: 3/3 AP WC: 800/800 Timeline: Standard (3 weeks) Summary: Bite and push lands. Rears with her, lets go of neck, dodges kick by moving head to the right. Heartbeat lands. He tries to bite her chest, hit her exposed leg bone with his coil. Is still in a rear when pillars rise up, attempts a courbette maneuver to his left to avoid it. Lands on all fours to the left, rolls his front left ankle slightly, causing temporary strain. Notes: Sorry for the delay and last posts' confusion--he was just trying to face her and I worded it poorly. Thanks so much for all your help! Sorry Ashamin didn't have a moment to talk to her here. RE: I See You [Ashamin v. Isopia] - Isopia - 11-14-2015
RE: I See You [Ashamin v. Isopia] - Official - 12-01-2015 By my verdict: ISOPIA is the winner!
ISOPIA Realism [+2] You always have a good grasp on realism, and you certainly posed an interesting challenge with your first 2 posts that were very difficult attacks to retaliate against, but it all tied in well with your character. It was disappointing how infrequently you utilized terrain and stat differences though - you used your magic to make steam in the rotunda, but didn’t exactly use the terrain otherwise, a bit of the moonlight for your raven at the start, and then a mention of Isopia’s height at the end, but otherwise the fight seemed to largely be taking place in a void. Your second post had really great motivation and explanation with her transformation that was great to read, though I’m not sure why you chose to injure something so precious as your knee, much less to the point where bone was exposing, when you didn’t even roll a critical hit - it was a 6 damage granted, but even so it seemed too severe for what was really necessary in the situation (given the attack was an accident too). However it was not improper so you were not marked down for it, I just wanted to mention that it was more suitable to a critical hit. In your second post your damage didn’t seem well described to me. You took the bite to the neck, but didn’t explain what the injury really was or how it hurt enough to constitute a damage roll of 3 (it read more as a 1 really) - you did also take Ashamin’s heartbeat magic, but since that didn’t really hurt her I wasn’t counting that as damaging. In your final post you also fail to mention Ashamin’s bite to her chest - even if it was a wonky timeline and shouldn’t have happened, it did and it needed to be mentioned - but the injury from his spark coil seemed proper. Overall great work, just focus on matching your injuries with the damage rolls a bit better and explaining what exactly the injury entails, which you did well in your second and fourth post. Emotion [+2] It may difficult with how analytical Isopia is, to really get a sense of her emotion, but I did feel like I at least understood her purposes and her thoughts when she considered her tactics and her opponent’s. Prose [+4] Beautiful writing all throughout with powerful imagery and strong vocabulary. You’re very good at letting everything flow together well. “ If a raccoon or some small rodent were to wander out, responding to his cry, what would he do? If he were monstrous, he might attack it out of boredom, but surely his demand forchallenge was meant for whatever purported creature he believed lurked in the darkness? Surely something as small and innocuous as a rodent of the woods would not draw real effort from him.” “She had wanted Ashamin to be rendered stupefied by the odd macabre raven sitting in the moonlight, and yet here she was mystified by blood - something so mundane in comparison” Readability [+2.5] Very easy to read and understand, just the one typo below and an instance where a sentence included an equal sign. I assume this was a style choice, and though I didn’t mark points off for it, it isn’t correct grammar and if it continues to occur it will lose points. Otherwise well proof read with proper sentence structure. P3: “...to remained poised…” (remain) Finally tally: 51+(10.5*2)= 72 HP *******************************************
ASHAMIN Realism [+1] Your realism in fights definitely has a marked improvement from some others. I really felt your attacks and defenses came in a lot more strategically and properly for a horse. For instance, having him be afraid of the magic at first was great! However in that first post, you write as being affected by the magic despite saying you’re outside of the rotunda when it was written as occurring inside. Furthermore you say the steam stings your eyes, but it should only be obscuring visibility and perhaps be too hot, but should not blind him. Aside from that implausibility the damage you did take from it was correct and well used to make his fumbling attacks. I really enjoyed your method of using the heartbeat magic to intimidate Isopia! Your final post was really lacking in realism though because your timeline got rather loose. Isopia had already reared when he bit her, but you wrote it as him biting, and them rearing together, which didn’t and can’t happen, it’s too much back tracing for you. Also, you try to hit her with your tail’s coil, but his tail couldn’t be long enough (I then read his profile and see it’s length described, but that needs to be mentioned in the battle so that I do not have to hunt this information down, and if his tail is that long I’d expect to see it hinder him as well). Lastly you describe her magic as causing you to land unevenly, rolling your ankle, but this is not an anatomical term, do you mean fetlock? Ergot? Otherwise the damage seemed correct for a roll of 2. To help bring in more realism, also try to utilize the surroundings and stat differences a bit more. Isopia was much larger than Ashamin, how did that change his tactics and affect his aim? It was rather dark (which was mentioned very briefly in passing) so how does that play into how certain tactics succeed or fail? What was the ground they were fighting on, because with all the description I read about it, it seemed like empty space. Otherwise keep up the good work! Emotion [+2.5] I definitely felt like I connected with Ashamin throughout the fight, particularly with that second post that was really feeling-heavy. I liked how you tied in past experiences, fighting or otherwise, to explain his motives and actions. “Ashamin felt three things, and he felt them all at once.” Prose [+3.5] Really well written posts which were a joy to read. You had a great breadth of vocabulary, powerful imagery, and easy flow and transitions. Readability [+3] Easy to read and understand, just watch how often you start sentences with ‘and’ and ‘but’ as those are supposed to be contractions not sentence starters. Overall well proof read with proper grammar. Finally tally: 46+(10*2)= 66 HP |