[P] the deepest blues are black - Printable Version +- HELOVIA || The Way to the Sun (http://helovia.com) +-- Forum: Out of Character (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Archives (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=11) +--- Thread: [P] the deepest blues are black (/showthread.php?tid=21791) |
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the deepest blues are black - Mesec - 12-02-2015
table by Frostie for @Ampere <3 RE: the deepest blues are black - Ampere - 12-16-2015 Every storm runs out of rain, just like every dark night turns into day Every heartache will fade away, just like every storm runs out of rain
[Spongebob squarepants style: 5 YEARS LATER...] Eventually she was alone again. The demands of a herd could only be swept beneath a stone for so long, especially for it's sultan. Gaucho had done as she had asked, he had stayed with her that night, and he had held up all her broken pieces with the contours of his muscles and he had welded them beneath the warmth of his fire until they loosely fit together again, enough at least to get them home. Ampere could not continue to confiscate his strength though, her shadow like a leech upon his as she demurely crept in his wake, begging for retribution that no amount of fucking could ever give her. Yet, she wasn't completely alone - she never would be again. That thought, that single, terrifying thought is what continued to spin her in self-abusive circles of loathing and despair. It had only been a few days, and yet she felt as if she had worn through the soles of her lifetime and unable to stop, ripped into the fabric of someone else's, some other Ampere that was nothing like her. She would have rather died than be forced to exist as this second being, and the thought of fulfilling that wish crossed her mind on more than one occasion. Her knight had always returned to her though, burning away such dour ideas with so little as a stare. He was not here now though, and the thought wriggled in the back of the crowded hall of her mind as she ambled down the beach. Her steps were haggard, lacking her usual sense of direction and purpose, and there was something just messy about it, about her in general, that bespoke her inner condition. Unconsciously she was drawn to the beach, and though that dark worm in her consciousness offered she fling herself to its depth and drown once and for all, her hooves seemed content to weave among the white foam that rushed and receded against the wet sand. The roar of the waves seemed to match, then finally deafen the chatter inside of her soul. If she was of the mind she would have realized nothing could keep her soul quiet now, but for the moment the creature, the slave was asleep within her wings and with that she finally found a silence akin to what was before. The weight was still there, a reminder, but like the sand she let the surf lull that into a rhythm of buoyed ease. Gently Ampere hummed, the vibrations within her body another layer of silence across the turmoil as she walked. The sound drifted in lilting tones and various whistles as she moved, so lost at sea she didn't even notice the moon boy ahead of her; a light house pulling her to safety in the coming dark and the hidden rocks set to dash her to bits. Then again, no rocks, no lighthouse; perhaps it wasn't the guiding light it seemed. [set just a couple days after she bonded, so not yet showing pregnancy.] Ampere The Mother of Companions RE: the deepest blues are black - Mesec - 12-17-2015
table by Frostie RE: the deepest blues are black - Ampere - 12-19-2015 Every storm runs out of rain, just like every dark night turns into day Every heartache will fade away, just like every storm runs out of rain
The unexpected sound of a voice, especially one calling her name, caused Ampere's head to jolt up. Her pace slacked to an uncertain halt, one foreleg curled towards her chest; the motion was so abrupt her mane and tail scattered in haphazard fashion all across her, spilling like dark waves on the shore of her nape and rump. The scattered response lasted only a few heartbeats before was recollected herself, though she wasn't fully at ease even as she stood and thrust her gaze through the gloom of the settling night. "Mesec," she responded softly, managing even a weak, half smile, if only because it was him. She wasn't sure she wanted to see anyone though, herself included. Gaucho was the only one she was somewhat comfortable with, and that was simply because he'd burst into the situation - given the opportunity she probably wouldn't have invited him in, but then, she'd be dead. The jarring stop had awakened the hatchling nestled in her wings, and in response it gave a complaining pip. Ampere's ears tilted back, whether to hear or out of anger wasn't immediately obvious, but they were pulled forward at Mesec's other words. His easy chatter pained her, so reminiscent of normal days and a typical life that she felt ousted from. Her mouth ran dry, and like a fish out of water she gulped before stuttering a response. "He's well, which I am grateful for." To be honest she'd barely thought of her son since her return from the Veins. A wave of guilt rushed over her, crashing like all the torrents of grief inside the beach of her body. The urge to crumble onto the ground and sob was overwhelming, but she resisted, quivering as she stood at the willpower to fight it. More piteous cries surfaced from her backside, the awakened bird confused and continually distraught by her emotional onslaught. "M-Mesec," she pleaded weakly, wide eyes staring from her dark face as she searched for his shadow in the dark. "I'm sorry" but the words stuck in her throat. Ampere The Mother of Companions RE: the deepest blues are black - Mesec - 12-19-2015
table by Frostie RE: the deepest blues are black - Ampere - 12-20-2015 Every storm runs out of rain, just like every dark night turns into day Every heartache will fade away, just like every storm runs out of rain
His response was immediate, and his touch, both strengthening and weakening simultaneously. The stability of his presence, the support of his body running alongside hers gave her the ability to stay standing, to keep fighting off the self inflicted oppression. Yet, because it was him, she felt just as weak in the knees as before. How often had she willed the silly boy to touch her and he never had? It was a doubt, an uncertainty that Gaucho never treated her with, but there were moments when she needed that strength, that fire, and moments when she needed the cool reluctance of the night. Lately it seemed she needed both, and the notion left her head swimming. She leaned into the sensation of his touch; it was a reminder that things were still real, that she was still here and ought to be. His words however, we a reminder of that was awful and wrong and so utterly broken that it cast her adrift in the first place. Reluctant to pay any attention to that she focused on his breaths as they pushed against her on every exhale. She minded the brush of his whiskers against the sensitive folds of her muzzle. In the darkness, his star-speckled nose still seemed to shine, drawing her gaze so eagerly. Mesec had always been handsome, but many stallions could boast as much, Ampere would know. What drew her to the son of the moon was everything else that he was, and equally, everything that he wasn't. What he lacked in talent for courtship and battle, he more than made up with in heart and intellect. His was always an ear she felt she could use, a shoulder she could lean on, a voice to set her straight. When darkness ate the world it was Mesec that had taken her to safety, a guiding trail of sterling light no matter the pitch of the midnight hour - just like his muzzle now. He had been saving her and guiding her ever since, abnd slowly but surely, she had come to love him for it. She owed him something now though. More even, she supposed, but this she could give finally. Her name spoken so gently in his voice reminded her of that fact. With a slow reluctance she pulled herself away from him, but just enough to hold his gaze, still needing that closeness to stand her firm. "Mesec," her response came, breathy with emotion, mostly distraught. "I-I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have-" there were so many things she could have said, should have said, might have said, because Ampere had so many things to apologize for in her life, and Mesec was owed many of them. The words fell beneath the squawk of the parrotlet once more, and stumbling, she blurted out, "I bonded!" It was an exclamation, but sounded more like a wail. She teared up instantly, but managed to keep herself from sobbing. Instead her head sunk, unable to see him, unwilling to. Ampere The Mother of Companions RE: the deepest blues are black - Mesec - 12-20-2015
table by Frostie RE: the deepest blues are black - Ampere - 12-22-2015 Every storm runs out of rain, just like every dark night turns into day Every heartache will fade away, just like every storm runs out of rain
There it was, that cool reassurance, that gentle caress of twilight that suggested the night was not so dark and full of terrors. She didn't know what she had expected of him, but somehow, his response surprised her. They had never had a rift between them so large as Lucius before, and despite all the relationships Ampere was willing to, and had put at stake for her own beliefs, his was one that had pained her to do so. This renewed hope that perhaps not all was lost, that forgiveness could be obtained by somebody, that was revitalizing. His questions coaxed sanity from her. So unlike the Wildfire that let her burn in her myriad of emotions, Mesec instead stoked the rationale, forged the pathways of intellect she all too often cast aside for its inconvenience. It was not an immediate effect, perhaps not even noticeable, but inside Ampere was able to wade water for the first time in a while. "I went to the gods." Her words came out thick, heavy, pulled from her instead of pushed even if she was happy to give them. The sounds had to wade through all her anxiety and despondency was why. If she really thought about it maybe it was also hard to say because she had only herself to blame, only her avarice. She plowed on though, needing to say it, to hear it, to have him know it. Because if anyone could forgive her transgressions, it would be Mesec. If he could, then maybe she could. "I prayed for strength... for magic" her lips curled over the last word as if it offended her. Would that she could cancel the damn deal now, but the bond was sealed, and she might as well run it to its finish now. "The Moon came-" Ampere, who had been talking faster, louder, more fervent, now grew quiet and still. For the first time since blurting everything out her gaze lifted to him, searching for something she couldn't find in him. Maybe giving something to him instead - because there was no blame. He would be the kind to immediately shoulder the weight of his mother's atrocity, but this was not her crime, this was Ampere's. Softening, leaning into his embrace if it still lingered to offer one in return, Ampere went on, but slower now. "She asked me to let the egg hatch, to set it free." She remembered now with bitterness how the moment had seemed like a blessing at the time. In return for strength the Moon had asked Ampere to do what she had always wanted. The cruelty in the action was the impossibility of it, something Ampere had been blind to until the bond wrenched her gaze open. "So I did... but it didn't." She faltered, fumbling at the raw memory of the elation crashing into confusion and discord, then morphing into understanding and rejection. The parrotlet which had grown quiet cried out in distress at the dredged up feelings and images of the happy moment ruined. Ampere's ears flicked back in aggravation. "We'd bonded. I didn't think I could, I didn't think I wanted to, the Earth told me you have to want it... the egg has to want it too..." she began to mutter incoherent strings of conversation, the nattering of her conscious as she swam amid her own thoughts, losing Mesec on the shore as she descended into the unanswered questions that raced around her mind. "...why did I want it..." Ampere The Mother of Companions RE: the deepest blues are black - Mesec - 12-22-2015
table by Frostie RE: the deepest blues are black - Ampere - 12-28-2015 Every storm runs out of rain, just like every dark night turns into day Every heartache will fade away, just like every storm runs out of rain
Mesec sidled in closer, holding her to him, and the warmth of his chest and his neck, a warmth she had never before realized, held her there with him. Gradually she came back, the haze in her gaze clearing like and early morning marine layer. His voice though, his perspective, that's what kept her there with him. That's what made it them. She turned, tilting into him, breathing him in and exhaling in the folds of his dark chest as she listened attentively to his advice. It was a manner of thinking that had never occurred to her before and instantly there was a new excitement thrumming throughout her whole body. Around them sparks began to pop into existence, fizzing and glowing as they skated across the sandy shore; usually generated with anger, the high emotion of relief is what conjured them unintentionally now. "That's it!" she gasped, surging back suddenly to hold Mesec in her sights, grinning broadly, before just as quickly diving her nose back into his touch. "That must be it," she murmured, sighing a great gust of wind. "Of course any infant wants love, and with no parents around to give it when they hatch - because all the bonded eggs are singularly alone, it just accepts anyone." The Earth had never explained it like that, and she felt instantly better, because although she had never blamed the infants, it crushed her somewhat to know they willingly bonded. Of course they didn't though, because as she had always argued, they didn't know, all they knew was hunger and need and the bond fulfilled that, however cruelly. That meant it was all the horse's fault, all the horse's greed once again, and in that, she was not so easily released of her crime. His notion that she bonded because of her desire for magic was a stretch, she felt, but the best explanation out there. The Moon had specifically said, don't bond, but Ampere had still been wrapped up in desire of some kind, and she'd felt an urgent need for the babe to survive, which in and of itself might have sealed the bond accidentally - after all, could the parrot really have made it off that cliff face? Not without her help, but then what? She could have reared it until it was old enough, could have found it a family, but it had bonded instead, and that all went back to the Gods forging those damn chains to begin with. Fueled by Mesec's belief in her and the driving desire to eliminate bonds some way or another, Ampere's resolve strengthened once more. "Thank you," she sighed into his body, beginning to tug and pull at his skin with her teeth in gentle caresses and love nips. Her passion was infectious, spinning from her heart where it burned for her causes, embers cascading into her limbs and filling her up with a fire that overwhelmed her. She loved him in this moment, and unwittingly, she let him know the best ways she could; her body pushing against him in a want to have that love returned. Ampere The Mother of Companions RE: the deepest blues are black - Mesec - 01-02-2016
table by Frostie RE: the deepest blues are black - Ampere - 01-04-2016 Every storm runs out of rain, just like every dark night turns into day Every heartache will fade away, just like every storm runs out of rain
She had never questioned if her love was limited. She had never had a reason to before, had never loved this deeply, or this often. She had never stayed long enough, never given in to the weight of responsibilities which in turn tied her into the lives of so many others, and they to her. There was no denying the immense feeling she held for this stallion here and now though, and the stallion swathed in fire that roamed somewhere among the desert. Could she love both of them? Was she capable of loving them both, and perhaps most importantly, was it right to? The thought might have continued, might have tortured the blue mare, but Mesec's response doused the very inkling of it from her conscious, drowning it beneath the gentle exchange of their skin against each other. It was probably for the best; having just stumbled out of the frigid sea of grief, she surely could not weather a bath in despair so soon. The notion of pushing aside her regrets, her thoughts, her rationality all in the name of love was nothing new for Ampere, and so she submitted to the process easily and eagerly. Her name, lent in such a supple way from his lips, only encouraged her. In place of rejection she found return, a fear at long last cast away, lost in the dark folds that encompassed her in the breadth of Mesec's capable chest. He asked, she answered. Ampere continued to press herself against him, moving from the gentle nips on his shoulder to trail her muzzle down the length of his spine. Her tail floated against their legs, tangling them together until they'd have nothing left but to fall wholly into one another. There was no uncertainty in her now, no trepidation or worry or doubt that might make her linger too long just above his musculature. This was Ampere renewed, born again with his words and stepping into a solidarity that her youth and all its lustful cravings had never dreamt of. This was unlike anything she had ever done, because it wasn't just sex and heat and need, this was friendship molded into love, this was moonlight spun into heat, and this was giving rather than taking. "Mesec," she breathed, pushing the word up against him. "Love me" she asked, not needing him to say it, or decide on it. She just needed to feel it; not in the absence of his refusals, but in the acceptance of her pressures and the addition of his own. If he didn't know, she would guide him, because she could fulfill him in all the ways he had her. Ampere held out her hand for him, ready to take him into another adventure, ready to chase storms or sunlight or anything as long as it was with him. [FADE TO BLACK??? idk :O] Ampere The Mother of Companions |