[O] A far off reason. - Printable Version +- HELOVIA || The Way to the Sun (http://helovia.com) +-- Forum: Out of Character (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Archives (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=11) +--- Thread: [O] A far off reason. (/showthread.php?tid=25083) |
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A far off reason. - Ryouta - 09-04-2016 Receive the erased memories And broken heart on the palm of my hand. A haggard reflection gazes back to me, a man mired with dirt and grime. The weight of my travels shows easily in the dust collected over the once pristine white of my wing and leg, with a myriad of small items clinging to my mane and tail. Like a strange creature caked and coated with the earth, I stand on the edge of a strange realm. Only the mirrored image of my eyes rings forward a memory of my own face, though they look lifeless now despite the familiarity. I drift my eyes upward, looking over the flatland with a detached sort of interest. I am not tempted to explore, to get lost in the waters which reflected the sky. Instead, I think of the way the horizon becomes invisible here, how the world shifts about its axis constantly. It is a nauseating feeling, one I do not appreciate. The smell of salt fills my senses, knowing these waters to be filled with the substance, a small outlet of the sea not far from here. The lack of greenery, even in the budding season of autumn, attests to the fact that the earth, weighed down by salt, has been poisoned beyond repair. A similar tactic had been used in Eikkahn, choking the food supply of our enemies and starving many, driving some into the open where they met their promised death before getting one mouthful of grass. A bitter memory, one that reinforces the nausea in the back of my throat. Caustic and violent, my past haunts me often these days. Though, it is unusual that I feel this strange sort of regret. The entry into Helovia had sparked many things I care not to think about. First, the near death experience brought a ghost into my visions, her sweet voice tugging on what few strings still bound my heart in place. Next, permeating my very soul, a sadness. Years passed silently since I mourned, yet here they were, old scars festering in a new land. The frown deepens on my lips as I stand on the precipice of the salt mirror, gazing into myself with reproach. I hated it. 良克
RYOUTA @Aelfwine RE: A far off reason. - Aelfwine - 09-04-2016
Pattern Credits || Pattern Credits || Image Credits @Ryouta weird turn, but basically Aelfwine likes friends but she can be a bit promiscuous as well. Hopefully Ryouta doesn't mind a flirt occasionally ;D xD Also thanks for starting this Tai <3 RE: A far off reason. - Ryouta - 09-04-2016 Receive the erased memories And broken heart on the palm of my hand. She came. Like a thundrous summer storm hitting a peaceful meadow, the word tore across the silence and caused a shuddering hiss to utter from my lips, unbidden. My head snaps toward her, caught off guard by her sudden approach as I gazed blindly into the reflection of my own hideous countenance. Viewing her in a glare, my mismatched eyes clinging over the color of her coat, reminiscient of wooded trees in the shade and lines with dark, satin tresses. I exhale, finding my moment of quiet self-loathing shattered by the reality that, while I am alone here, I could never be fully separated from the rest. They crawled over the surface of the world, seeking out company, seeking the touch of flesh, the words of another. My ears fall back on my skull, briefly, in my attempt to rein in the caustic words fluttering on the edge of my mouth. I swallow them hard, feeling the acid of them burning the back of my throat on the way down, sparing her brilliant face. She was definitely pretty, with jewel like emerald eyes contradicting the dull palette of the rest of her coat. Yet, that pleasant visage does nothing to improve my mood. If anything, I find her chirpy attitude and delicate, feminine body all the more annoying. As with most women, I find myself at a loss of what to say in their presence, perhaps more so than those of my own gender. It is no less a struggle with this pretty thing, with lively green eyes and bright smile. "Hi," I say curtly, turning my head away from her, looking out over the glassy surface of the water. My voice is dry and cracking from disuse, not accustomed to speaking much these days. I am a grisly excuse for a companion, covered in the debris of my travel with a wild, unkempt appearance. Yet, somewhere, I know that she will expect more from me that a gruff response, a hesitant acknowledgement of her existence. "I'm Ryouta." The name is offered to this wooden nymph, the silence following a silent invitation for her own. I do not expect her to withhold the information, as most within the realm of Helovia seemed to be forthcoming with their names and other niceties. I make the best attempt at a smile I can manage, but the expression is hollow. The upturn of my lips radiates that which resides in my heart - ice and a great void. The expression matches my eyes, though they glimmer with annoyance at her abrupt appearance still. ooc -- No problem! Ryouta is pretty rough to everyone, without prejudice. xD 良克
RYOUTA @Aelfwine RE: A far off reason. - Aelfwine - 09-04-2016
Pattern Credits || Pattern Credits || Image Credits @Ryouta omg he's great <3 She's dubbing him a challenge she must figure out. ;D RE: A far off reason. - Ryouta - 09-05-2016 Receive the erased memories And broken heart on the palm of my hand. It's a pleasure to meet you, Ryouta. I am Hana. For a brief moment, her words are reflected by this strange mare, and I close my eyes. I want to shake this dream from my head, dispel the ghost floating between our pair of bodies before the ache in my chest began again. I shudder inwardly, though not visibly in the light of day, willing my body to still and my breathing to remain even, unchanged. Even on the best of days, this mare could never be her. The grey toned pelt would never stand to match her pristine white, her green eyes nothing but putrid vomit in comparison to the soft, blue skies of Hana. The fake grin falls from my lips instantly, the only movement aside from the briefest moment my eyes closed. I do not wish to think of her, to sully her memory with my present state. Carefully, oh so carefully, I place her porcelain memory back on the shelf of my mind, taking care not to smear or alter the perfect image of her. Then, I look at Aelfwine with a sneer. It was not her fault. Though, in my company, usually no one is at fault but myself. The verdant eyes stare at me intently, their gaze piercing through my sneer and leaving me with a sensation that she had seen into my thoughts. I did not like it. "No," I say flatly in response to her query. The word is abrupt, almost as much as her arrival had been, but this time I make no attempt at reaching out to her from behind my guarded walls. I found her troublesome, reminding me of her while being someone completely different. Maybe it had been the softness of her voice or the tone in which she spoke the words, but either way I resented the fact that she tugged on my heartstrings and made me feel so invaded. Observing her from my inner watchtower, I cannot help but notice how idiotically innocent her actions were. Without waiting for a reply, her eyes began to scan the ground around my hooves, searching a nonexistent item I had never lost. Helovia was full of idiots willing to help you for no damn reason. Ashamin had received nothing but a curt thanks for guiding me to Seanan, who healed my shoulder without payment. Even Lyanna had offered the same, despite her obvious dislike of my behavior. I wonder momentarily if someday the sun would melt away the ice in my chest and reveal an idiot like the rest. I think not, but you know what they say. Maybe when hell freezes over. 良克
RYOUTA @Aelfwine RE: A far off reason. - Aelfwine - 09-05-2016
Pattern Credits || Pattern Credits || Image Credits @Ryouta sorry for the speed. xD RE: A far off reason. - Ryouta - 09-05-2016 Receive the erased memories And broken heart on the palm of my hand. Persisting, like a fly buzzing around your ear and flapping its wings incessantly, slowly driving you insane. At first, my short answer had set her face twisting into something ugly, wrinkling her brow and making her turn. I thought, maybe, I had upset the doe enough to have her shy away, but something mischievious drew up in her countenance. I withhold a sigh, not wanting to provoke her further. After all, even though the scar is still pink from recent healing, I am not in excellent shape. The herbs given by Seanan and reapplied by myself had aided toward my recovery, yet I am not the machine built for murder that I had been months before in Eikkahn. Despite the fragile appearance of this mare, I am wise enough to be wary of the pointed crown of horns decorating her head. Daa'hn had only needed one to nearly kill me. The grin building on her lips receives nothing but a cold, impassive look from my eyes, nothing of the heat left from my previous sneer. It had taken a moment to get my emotions in check. I do not wish to indulge whatever she is planning, formulating silently behind that furitive glance. When she sways forward I almost believe her gone, relieved in the moment, until she turns, her viciously green eyes staring at me with defiance. For the first time, I notice the branches decorating her ass, and I think it strangely fitting. Maybe, with more innocent eyes, I would have thought her some forest nymph here to play tricks on me. Instead, I know she is just some stubborn bitch. "What makes you believe I need help?" I say, my voice dripping with venom despite the nonchalant expression worn on my face. I had only been standing at the edge of this mirror, staring into myself with reproach, before she bumbled over with her bright voice. Annoyed yet ever so slightly intrigued why this girl thinks me a damsel in distress, when I am nothing more than a wolf hiding in sheep's clothing. I guess this is the gift afforded by anonymity. I find it only slightly better than infamy. ooc -- Nonsense! I live the lightspeed posting life. :) 良克
RYOUTA @Aelfwine RE: A far off reason. - Aelfwine - 09-05-2016
Pattern Credits || Pattern Credits || Image Credits @Ryouta yisss <3 RE: A far off reason. - Ryouta - 09-05-2016 Receive the erased memories And broken heart on the palm of my hand. I could tell her my story. I could tell her that I despised the flesh clinging to my bones, how it trapped me within this life I no longer wished to continue. I could tell her about how, even when I die, eternal damnation will wrap itself around me in a horrific embrace, instead of the soft velvet of her neck. I could tell her about my parents, how they died in an imperial ambush that near cost my life as well, before it all started. I could tell her about how everyone I ever cared for died before my eyes, bleeding into the earth freely, whispering in their last moments to me. I could tell her about the way light disappeared from the eyes of the dead no matter how feverently you prayed to god it would stay. I could tell her about how I became the monster, snuffing out lights and moving about my former home like a villain. I could. But I won't. Instead, I meet her devious gaze with one flat and measured. "If I were an ugly hag, I guess I wouldn't much like my reflection either," the line is a joke, though there is no outward sign of it. There is no childish glint in my eyes, no crack of a smile, nothing. I resign myself toward the inner walls surrounding me, guarding those from the outside world from what lurked beneath the man in unkempt threads. I care not for the circle she creates, reminding me vaguely of the vultures which circled about in the sky all those years ago. The sign of death, a silent dance letting everyone know another life, or perhaps far more, had been lost. I have no intention of being some carcass, being torn asunder from limb to limb, muscle to muscle, until only a skeleton remains. I have no earned nor do I deserve death, though it may come for us all in time. Her question pries into me, along with those green eyes that would be dancing in my nightmares for weeks to come. They were brilliant yet mocking. I have no intention of sharing my inner workings with a child who does not know when to hold their tongue, tuck their tail, and run away. "I have no where else to be," I say, my voice just as flat and even as my face, though my eyes hold an icy glare that is unmistakable. Her game of cat and mouse, where I am presumed by this idiot to be a mouse, grows tiring. "What about you, baishunpu? Harassing strangers is how you get off?" The same even tone is used, but the blackened words reveal how annoyed I am under the surface of it all. Even resorting to my native tongue, something I rarely do unless delirious with infection, would show any who knew me well (i.e., no one) that I'm pissed off. ooc -- baishunpu: streetwalker 良克
RYOUTA @Aelfwine RE: A far off reason. - Aelfwine - 09-05-2016
Pattern Credits || Pattern Credits || Image Credits @Ryouta RE: A far off reason. - Ryouta - 09-05-2016 Receive the erased memories And broken heart on the palm of my hand. I had served my purpose in this world long before coming to Helovia. For all intents and purposes, the moment her breath ceased in her chest, mine did as well. Now, all my actions remained driven by the need, the voracious and ever present will, to drive myself into oblivion for failing so miserably. I am biding time, living days like a ghost. I leave nothing behind in those I meet, I touch no hearts, and I keep mine far from reach. The lively expressions and sounds issuing forth from Aelfwine are a luxury I cannot afford. The annoyance building behind my mask of detachment stems from that difference, I suppose. A part of my soul envies her for being so vibrant, so alive. The other part wants to keep her damned cheer and delight as far away as possible, as though she were emanating a poisonous gas choking my lungs. She seems perplexed by my lack of purpose, lack of home, lack of family, lack of whatever the fuck kept her walking this earth. Baka, I think silently as her head tilts, her observation not waning. I am being treated like a puzzle, with her eyes and ears seeking any information I might leak unintentionally. I hate the sensation, the invasion of my privacy. I would rather she be like anyone else - scoff and leave me alone with my bitter mood and sour tongue. Instead, she remains. Laughing. Teasing. Digging. Not taking offense to my comment, she winks. The girl nonplussed, completely riding out the insults, the dirty insinuations, owning them. The annoyance lingers, clawing its way from the back of my mind and growing. A frustration builds in my chest and makes me loose a single, short sigh into the air. Then, she slips. Her words reveal the kind heart underneath the devious girl's flesh. For a fleeting moment, I almost consider being nice to her in return. Then, I realize, it would garner nothing. Not for me, and especially not for her. I had nothing to offer anyone except death. I turn away from her, moving for the first time since her arrival, taking careful steps further into the maze of the reflective lake. "Did it ever occur to you that I want to be alone?" I ask, looking back at her with a somber expression. My eyes bleed the first soft emotion of our interaction, betraying the steady delivery of my question. A mournful sadness flickers briefly from them, before returning to the same icy glare I had pointed at her plenty already. "I have no desire to make friends or family, so piss off." ooc -- baka: idiot 良克
RYOUTA @Aelfwine RE: A far off reason. - Aelfwine - 09-06-2016
Pattern Credits || Pattern Credits || Image Credits @Ryouta RE: A far off reason. - Ryouta - 09-06-2016 Receive the erased memories And broken heart on the palm of my hand. Had she spoke her thoughts, I may have laughed in her face. Someone new? In the world there exists three separate kinds of people. There was the despicable, woeful, worthless me. There was the ever perfect and forgiving her. Then, there was everyone else. Despite whatever this mare wished to believe, she was one of many face I had already met, with the same hopeless possibilities. I could waste my time, my energy conversing with someone who would gain nothing from me. I could attack her, like I had many other in my past, disfigured that face and pop the brilliant green eyes from her skull. I could simply ignore her, which she had made impossible. So, I guess today I will waste some time. Because, which you may have already guessed by the beginning of this encounter, she is not one to give up easily, if at all. I hear some light splashes from behind me, even as I turn my head back forward to continue walking, before her voice cuts across the distance she afforded me. I want to growl in frustration, to show her why you let sleeping dogs lay, yet something within me wanted to treat Helovia as a new place. I wanted to become better here, instead of killing whatever scraps of my soul were left. I did not want to resort to violence, to tear flesh from bone, to watch lights drifting into the sea of ether. Still, the last set of words makes me want to cry, makes me want to laugh. "How I wish that were true," I call back to her, not bothering to turn around to view her anymore. If I were like anyone else in this realm, I would feel the need to help others. I would be able to overcome this sharp pain in my chest, burning with every inhale. I could smile with ease in the face of newcomers. Had I been fated to a life like any other, I might have children by now, with beautifully sculpted faces just like hers. My parents might have lived to see them, to watch them grow into adults underneath the sun. Were I gifted a fate like any other's, I could be happy. I would have a home. I would have a family. I would have a life. Unfortunately, though, I have the bitter regret that eats at my mind every day. I have the knowledge that, were I born stronger, faster, she would still be alive. I have the guilt that it should have been my body, twisted and mangled staring up at the night sky. Because I was not fated a life like anyone else. 良克
RYOUTA @Aelfwine RE: A far off reason. - Aelfwine - 09-06-2016
Pattern Credits || Pattern Credits || Image Credits @Ryouta RE: A far off reason. - Ryouta - 09-07-2016 Receive the erased memories And broken heart on the palm of my hand. I was born a meek child. Words found themselves caught in my throat more often than not. I had no friends to speak of, and I clung to the side of my mother like an extra set of appendages. My parents had worried about my development before their untimely demise. The quiet child, saved only by the cold glare and steady words of my mother, the last thing she ever said to me, grew even more solitary. I wandered, an orphan amid a land still bright and flourishing despite the evident war plaguing the lands. In the crowd, the sea of unfamiliar faces, I had met her. She spoke to me first, despite looking in my direction with sightless eyes. The meek child grew quickly into a man, having a purpose of life, a direction in which to begin. Aelfwine, of course, knows nothing of this truth in my past. Her words, intending to berate me for my lost hope, my lost passion, to place the blame upon me for my current situation are heard, but not taken seriously. I find it very difficult to take to heart the advice given without understanding my motivations, my history. My hooves do not slow their steady amble away from her, delving further and further into the mirror of the sky. There is no flinch, no wound stricken across my frame as she attempts to throw verbal daggers into my back as I leave. When she finally clamps her mouth shut, a process which apparently takes this particular wench quite some time to complete, I turn my head to look back at her. My expression is flat, unmoved by her verbal assault or poor attempt to give advice. My lips upturn, another callous smile, as I look at her. Her body fumes with frustration evident even from here, and I think I like her pissed off more than when she first appeared, chirpy and bright. I make a decision, one I cannot quite explain. Maybe, I cannot stand the thought of losing an argument, or maybe I felt that she deserved some piece of information for all her efforts. I don't know. "She is already dead," I say, loud enough to carry the distance between us. The tone is matter-of-fact, clinical and detached. The smile doesn't waver, staying in place even after I gave a small insight into my heart. "Happiness is no longer an option." With that, I turn back around, gaining speeding and unfurling my wings. I begin to lift myself in the sky, for I know it is a place this chattering girl cannot follow. My next destination is uncertain, the only thing decided is that it will be far from her. ooc -- Ryouta is out. Ty for the lovely thread, Skylark<3 良克
RYOUTA @Aelfwine RE: A far off reason. - Aelfwine - 09-11-2016
Pattern Credits || Pattern Credits || Image Credits Thank you Tai <333 |