[O] In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear - Printable Version +- HELOVIA || The Way to the Sun (http://helovia.com) +-- Forum: Out of Character (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Archives (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=11) +--- Thread: [O] In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear (/showthread.php?tid=26824) |
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In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear - Yael - 03-15-2017 yael After meeting both Tilney and Sacre – which completes the trio of Moon Doctors – Yael is perfectly content to leave the healing arts in their capable hands. Oh, she has every intention of learning more about herbology and natural remedies, but she suspects that there is a certain lack of wisdom-seeking in the Edge. In fact, if she’d heard the Moon correctly, they were left without a Seer. Which means something to Yael, she just isn’t sure what. Is the Moon who she wants to dedicate herself to? She knows there are other Gods here, but having only seen one – no, two if you count the Earth God appearing during the whole Kaos fiasco – she has a wretchedly low amount of knowledge. trust your heart if the seas catch fire live by love, though the stars walk backwards Particularly looking for @Alysanne or @Tembovu or @Arah But absolutely open to any <3 RE: In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear - Alysanne - 03-16-2017
RE: In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear - Lyanna - 03-19-2017 so i listen to the wind for an answer She wishes she could stop wallowing. It seems to be all she does. Wallow. She’s gotten better at wallowing in a functional sort of way. She does her job, has made friends, and has even been out and about enough to make friends in other herds. But somehow, she cannot quite stop the pain in her heart or the thought of her family that creep in. The hole in chest doesn’t ever really seem to close. And maybe she just has to learn that it won’t. Because she has a good life here, she knows it. A job that she enjoys, friends that she loves, a safe place to call home. What she doesn’t have is a family. And maybe it’s not in the cards for her. Or maybe one day, she will. But the Edge is her family. It’s enough, and she loves her life, but she will always miss what she lost. The day is beautiful though, and she’s planning to set out for some herb gathering. There was always something to keep her mind busy in the garden, to keep her body active. She makes her way through the trees toward the cliff. The wind isn’t terrible today, so she can leave from the cliff and take the long, scenic route west to see what herbs she can find. As she comes out of the trees, however, a pair of familiar forms catches her attention. Aly and Yael. She hasn’t seen either much lately, though of course they were around, just busy as she had been busy. Lyanna can’t help but let her feet change course, taking her toward her friends instead of off the edge of the cliff. “Aly, Yael,” she says as she comes close to the group. Her smile is bright and friendly as always, glad to see familiar faces. “Am I interrupting?” she asks, certainly willing to leave if Yael needed time alone with the Queen. Yes, they are friends, but sometimes one needs the Queen’s attention alone, and Lyanna could certainly respect that. lyanna @Yael @Alysanne ....casually thread crashes RE: In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear - Yael - 03-20-2017 Yael’s heart sinks a little bit when Alysanne introduces herself - it is a bit of a blow to her newly blossoming sense of confidence that the Queen does not remember they’d met prior to this. But the little golden pegasus plays the diplomat well, if nothing else, and besides, it was a small miracle that the very woman she’d been searching for now practically fell out of the sky at her hooves. Minus the falling. Moving away from the ledge, she meets the black and white mare somewhere halfway between them. “Shalom!” she returns with a bright smile and a dip of her romanesque head. “T’ank you, Alee. I am Yael… I believe ve met vhile xelping a couple of undeserving spiders -” At this, she makes a sort of displeased face, for the memory of the dead Ant Queen is more than distasteful to such a pacifist like herself. ”- een ze Spreeng, yes?” She is about to broach the subject of her search, when another black-and-white figure calls out her name. Spying Lyanna, Yael grins and extends a great, gilded wing in invitation. Honestly, the more the merrier, because she does so value the Moon Doctor’s advice as both a friend and superior, and a second source of input would never be turned away. “Not at all, Lyanna. Come, I vas just about to ah, ask for some advice… or guidance... of a sort.” Awkward in her hesitancy, Yael’s lilting tongue drops a couple of tinkling chuckles before tiptoeing forwards. “You see, I know very leettle about Xelovia, but I vould very much like to learn more - vit ze goal of perxaps vone day, being ze Seer. Knowledge ees a valuable t’ing, eef my past xas taught me anyt’ing. But t’en I t’ought… xow do I even know eet ees ze Moon I vant to dedeecate myself to, vhen I xaf never met ze ozers? Xow did you bote know?” Her head tilts a little to the side, fixing each mare with a genuinely curious gaze. It seems like something to be taken seriously, and she wouldn’t want to make a mistake, or be seen as a flip-flopping traitor. Yael a lover of the light @Alysanne @Lyanna RE: In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear - Alysanne - 04-04-2017
@Lyanna @Yael <3 RE: In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear - Lyanna - 04-07-2017 so i listen to the wind for an answer She is glad for the extended gold wing of greeting, and she makes her way into the group happily. After all, these are some of her favorite horses in the Edge (and in Helovia, really) in one spot. But the inviation is slightly faltering, and for a moment, Lyanna cannot help but worry that Yael too would leave the Edge. First Glasgow, her friend. Toulouse, and though part of her is glad, she’d brought Toulouse here and still felt like she’d failed him, somehow. She couldn’t stomach the thought of losing Yael too, both her friend and her recruit. Could she fail so many? Perhaps she could. She had failed her family in the worst of ways. Why did she think in this life that she might not fail again? But thankfully, Yael is not leaving. She’s just picking her career path. One which might mean she will ultimately lose. And the thought hurts, but it doesn’t seem like one where it’s because Lyanna could have done anything differently. If Yael one days chooses to serve a different God, there is nothing Lyanna can do to change the Gods. Her smile does not slip, at least, and Aly is quick to reply and for the moment, Lyanna lets their Queen steer the conversation. She has heard some of Alysanne’s beginnings, when the mare had long ago offered Lyanna an ear and a shoulder to cry on. She had never told Aly of her past, and now, she couldn’t say why. It just never seemed like an appropriate thing to throw into a conversation, normally. And she got so little time with Aly anymore that didn’t require business discussions that she didn’t feel like bringing down their few personal moments. “My story is not unlike Alysanne’s. Elsa found me in the Threshold and described a place that sounded very much like the home I had lost. I decided to go and Aly met me the border, welcoming me in with open arms that I’d hardly done anything to earn. So I stayed and threw myself into working for the Edge, learning everything I could about herbs and healing. Eventually I came to learn more about the Gods here, and if I had to pick one, I would choose the Moon Goddess. But in my old home I could control the wind, and I will always have an affinity for it, so the Moon Goddess suits me.” Like Aly, Lyanna isn’t sure if her answer is helpful, but it’s the best one she’s got. And she’ll offer the truth, even if it’s only pieces of it. No one needs to know just why she lost her home. Or that her brother would have beloned to the Sun God here, her Mother to the Earth God. She’d come from a land so different than this that perhaps none of it really mattered but what happened going forward. lyanna @Yael RE: In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear - Yael - 04-12-2017 Wherever fate may take the gilded woman, she would forevermore count Lyanna amongst her friends. The teal-tipped mare is too full of kindness and the genuine desire to do good for Yael to not find a kindred spirit in her. And if anyone doubted the Doctor’s commitment to the herd, why, Yael would challenge them to a dragon-fueled duel right then and there. That would surely show the slanderer what’s what. Aly, too, is full of sweetness, but the very nature of her position keeps her removed from Yael, a lowly Philosopher. She would never hold the Queen’s forgetfulness against her, brushing it away with a murmured, “Of course, eet ees no matter… zose vere nasty spiders…” frowning at the memory. The truth is that the Helovians let themselves be tricked into doing the spiders’ dirty work, which led to a beautiful creature’s death. It’s unclear whether or not Yael recognizes the impetus of her old magic resurfacing, because as you know, we do not often like to see the true cause and effect of our actions, but either way, it was an important event. As Yael listens, her warm gaze flickers between the two women, listening intently but saying nothing until both are finished. They both speak of devotion and falling into their roles - it is a feeling the former Queen knows well, almost too well. Devotion to the point of blindness. She cannot help but admire their innocent induction and laugh at it in the same breath. Have they never been on the wrong side of history before? Fear of making the wrong choice again weighs heavily on her neck, a fifty pound chain of death and destruction you’d never know she’s left in her wake; a constant reminder of the need to shop around in the name of research and story collecting. What she may find rumbling beneath Helovia’s surface may shock her. She nods thoughtfully, piecing together her words in a diplomatic fashion. “I, too, xaf lost everyzing… but zere are a few xere xoo haf begun to replace eet…” Without hesitation, she nudges Lyanna’s shoulder affectionately, but there is a sadness in her voice that betrays a smidgen of her true feelings. “Eet ees odd, because een my old life, I was Keen of a vast desert, but ze idea of a Goddess appeals far more zan a God, you know? But zen I t’ink ze Eart God! Ach, but xe ees gone now. And vell... “ she shrugs, trailing off. “Vhat ees a voman xoo vonce xad ze po’er of ze Gods to do? I cannot go back, and so I must assimeelate.” A big ‘ol sigh escapes as she feels she is not conveying her meaning accurately. She also doesn't want to portray this endeavor as a selfish task. Time to finish with a thesis statement. “So, I t’ink zat learning ze heestory ees a dual good task - to teach ze future generations about Xelovia, and also to choose for myself. And perxaps, to collect knowledge about ze lands outside Xelovia, because eet seems to me zere are many foreigners like myself.” And yet, none quite like Yael. Then back to the Queen and the Doctor, she asks earnestly of both mares - they who have listened to her babble on about her questions and insecurities - “Vould you boze do me ze ‘onors of being ze feerst two to tell zeir stories? To-morrow, perxaps?” Who could refuse a request like that? Yael a lover of the light @Alysanne @Lyanna Apologies for the novel D: RE: In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear - Alysanne - 04-19-2017
@Lyanna RE: In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear - Lyanna - 04-23-2017 so i listen to the wind for an answer She has been on the wrong side of history before. And every day she wracks her brain trying to figure out what else she could have done, what she might have missed. How did she pick up no hint of a plot against her family? How did all of their spies miss it? Was there a sidelong glance she should have interpreted differently? But she has no idea what she missed, because if she had any clue, she wouldn’t have missed it. And maybe the rebels and murderers had simply been so clever, so hidden, that there was never anything for Lyanna to see. But now she doesn’t choose much of anything. Because she didn’t choose this life, and in truth, she wouldn’t have picked it over her old. She stays because it is safe, because there are no better options, because what she does have here is good. It seems easier though just to let herself fall through this life, tumbling from one step to the next until she hits the bottom. She had time yet for that, and she would keep living as best she could simply because her family could not. Yael admits to losing everything as well, though nudges Lyanna affectionately as she says some have begun to help fill those voids. She nudges her friend back, offering her an understanding smile. She is glad to have met Yael and Aly and all those she calls friends in Helovia, but she would give it all back for her old life if she could. She wishes that weren’t true, but it is. They were her family, after all. Though if she had to start over again, she is glad it has been in the Edge with all the friends she has made here. Then Yael asks if they would share their stories, and she can’t find it in her heart to say no. Though it’s not a story she tells often, and not one she likes to tell. But maybe it would be good for her, maybe it would make the past less full of ghosts somehow. She’s not sure how, but still, she finds herself saying, “Of course, I’d be happy to. It seems like a good project, and I hope you share stories with me. There's so much I don't know about Helovia, and I'd love to be your student.” Lyanna has spent enough time teaching Yael about herbs, it was about time their roles reversed. She'd be glad to be learning something different for a change. lyanna @Yael |