HELOVIA || The Way to the Sun
[P] Tallsun Kisses & Orangemoon Wishes - Printable Version

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Tallsun Kisses & Orangemoon Wishes - Ki'irha - 05-30-2017



Her hooves created thunder as she galloped across the world. Cloven hooves scattered turf, and her white mane rippled behind her like banner, but it did not represent surrender. A thin layer of sweat foamed against her hide. Ki'irha, the starlit girl, painted blue, with galaxies pressed into her curves. Her horn threatened to tear open the fabric of the sky as she tossed her head wildly, as if she wanted to open the void and spill all of heaven's stars upon the world. She was wild and free and hunting. Ki'irha the warrior, Ki'irha the once-general, Ki'irha who hails from the Aurora Basin.

There was so much more she didn't know. She didn't know how she had earned such an esteemed title, that she had been fearsome and brazen and strong, spilling blood of her own, as well as both her comrades and her enemies. She had been trained by her father to fight, to kill, to maim, but her edges had been softened and refined by a doting mother who licked her wounds and knew she was capable of so much more. But none of these things she remembered.

Nor did she remember the warmth and keen sting of of love. She didn't remember craving the love of another, how she was never able to finish the delicate dance of emotions she experienced with the painted stallion who she came to know as more than the Clovenheart. But more important than that, she did not remember her dance with the Nightwind. She did not remember meeting another of her kind, pieced together with moonlight and stars, beneath a perfect midnight sky, as time flew by upon the Frostbreath Steppe. She did not remember their holy union, even if it only lasted for the night. And she did not remember her children. Her beautiful twins, starborn and perfect. She had never been able to experience the honor of knowing her children were the descendents of a Goddess. She did not remember leaving then under the watchful eye of her herdmates one fateful afternoon when she had slipped from the mountain pass to go on routine patrol. She did not remember nuzzling them, placing kisses near their budding horns, ruffling their soft manes, and passing a tongue over downy feathers that always seemed to stick in different directions. She did not remember her promise that she would be back soon.

None of these things weighed heavy upon her, because she did not know. There would be time for guilt later, should her memories return, but now she just stalked the land like a hungry wildcat, searching for answers to fill the deep gaps that she knew were there.

The Thistle Meadow was wide and long, so when she finally came upon a place where the landscape was broken by trees, it came as a relief. She slowed her pace to a trot finally, her nostrils flaring, her breaths coming in sharp gasps. As she came to the border where one land met another she stopped. There was something off about this area. Though autumn had already stolen many of the leaves off of the trees and had trampled the lush green grasses of Tallsun beneath its heels, this place simply seemed dead. She dropped her head, gazing into the decaying wetland with steely eyes, deciding if a place like this could even provide answers. She had learned to watch her path wearily, and the crack in her horn was worn with regret and as a reminder for what happened when she proceeded without caution.

So instead, she waited.


Ki'irha
you taught me the courage of stars before you left, how light carries on even after death

image credits


@Mesec
Maybe hoping once this gets going, hoping for a surprise visit from Kaos for healing and memory return? A girl can hope!


RE: Tallsun Kisses & Orangemoon Wishes - Mesec - 05-31-2017



Vesper probably wasn’t going to like the idea of Mesec coming to the Marsh on his own, but he wasn’t about to bring her along either. His mother had seemed unbothered by Kaos, even surprised that they might be looking for a way to stop him. Whether that meant she was completely fine with his plan - what ever destruction it caused - or that this new god wasn’t a threat was something Mesec still didn’t understand. She had, after all, been the one to posses Gaucho and murder for the sake of balance. What she considered acceptable may be a little skewed.

Overall, Mesec felt uncertain and confused and he might as well try to see if he could uncover any bit of information.

The last thing he expected to spot on the edges of the dead land was the mother of his children.

The sight of her stopped him cold in his tracks - and he felt like he had just ran into a tree. Lucius startled as well - circling back to get another look and check to see if it really was here. But there was no mistaking her - no one else in Helovia had that blue star-coat. He had gotten to know Ki’irha very well during their short acquaintanceship - well enough that he was sure he would recognize her anywhere, even with her horn cracked.

Lyra, the young black kitsune with stars speckled on her snout, didn’t fully understand what was happening - she was younger than the twins were and the idea that Vesper had a mother had never really been a thought that entered her mind. From her perch on Mesec’s back, she peered around his neck to get a good look while he went on standing there - feeling dumb and not really sure what to do now that the mare he and his children had been searching for was just here, casually, as if nothing had happened.

“Ki’irha?” He managed to croak out that much at least - but remained where he was, just looking at her, and trying to figure out if she was real or if she was some twisted illusion of this place.


Mesec
the nightwind

image credits


@Ki'irha :D


RE: Tallsun Kisses & Orangemoon Wishes - Ki'irha - 05-31-2017



The world rested silently for a moment, as it had seemed to be doing frequently for the star-swept mare. Her distant staring into the forest had done her little good, and the weariness that had started in her breast and seeped into her bones was enough to make her want to turn tail and leave. Sentient as she was, she was still a wild thing, and she had instinct. And it was that instinct that urged her to turn and flee.

In retrospect, it urged her to turn and see him.

It tugged at her mane, pushed at her to turn her head and lay eyes upon the stallion who had joined with her to plant a garden, two tiny seedlings that had blossomed into celestial twins. It prodded her in the ribs, begged her to return to him, and repair the jagged canyons that separated her and her children. It squeezed at her lungs, desperate to steal her breath away so she would spin and breathe him in, capture enough air that she could spill words to explain where she had been, so she could catch up on all she had missed.

She turned her silver eyes skyward. Apparently when she had lost her memory, she had lost her nerve, as well. But her eyes also captured a glimpse of a great blackened bird. A scavenger, perhaps, seeking to pick the meat from her bones once whatever lived in there sunk its teeth into her. Ultimately, being a creature of self-preservation, she turned herself towards the exit, but not before hearing that name. How often would she hear her name whispered into the wind? As with Erebos, she couldn’t understand or catch any inflection upon the breathless name. Confusion? Contempt? Accusing? Shocked? It was said as she could assume many would say it. She had gone, disappeared, simply vanished, and certainly many would have assumed she had just walked out as so many others had. What would it mean for her to suddenly return?

When she finally came to look upon the stallion, glorious and ethereal as one could expect from someone born from a deity (though she knew not what his mother was, even before all of this), she couldn’t help but mirror his frozen stature. Her heart begged to flutter and hum and burst at the seams. Her heart knew him, and in its desperate beating, she realized he must have been important.

Remember, damn it.

His face made her think of midnight. Her coat shuddered as if caressed by a cold northern wind. Her stomach filled with butterflies.

“Yes,” she murmured, the answer solitary. What else was there to say? Who are you? How do you know me? Are we friends? Enemies? Family?

She did not want to make the same mistake as last time, when she told Erebos she did not remember him. She had no idea how the stoic giant felt upon those words, but his kind (at least, as kind as a creature as he could be) words gave her the impression that they had been close to friends before she had slipped off into the abyss. It must be hurtful to hear that from someone you knew, that they didn’t remember your face or name or anything about you.

The silence was off putting, and she cleared her throat softly, and stepped forwards. I know you, she wanted to say. She wanted to pretend that none of this had happened. How could she do this again without sounding ridiculous and broken and ruined? How could she prevent herself from crumbling further? It was nearly a miracle that she could recoil and reset and function the last time she needed to have this conversation. How many times was she expected to do this?

“I—“ she paused, considering her words carefully. Think of something thoughtful, something to break the news gently, incase he is a friend like the last one was. “Something happened.”

Well, that was probably literally the worst way she could have phrased it. “I mean—“ she let loose a tired sigh, “I’m sorry. I just don’t remember.” She let her head fall, her forelock falling foward to shield her eyes. She wished she could just hide from this forever. But what was done, was done, and there was nothing she could do to change it. So she waited for the earth to rumble and crack open, and hoped that when it did, it would swallow her up so she would never have to have this conversation again.

Ki'irha
you taught me the courage of stars before you left, how light carries on endlessly even after death

image credits


@Mesec .


RE: Tallsun Kisses & Orangemoon Wishes - Mesec - 06-08-2017



Of all the reactions that Mesec expected to get from the star-coated mare, the one he got didn’t even make the list. He should have known something was up right away, when she turned to look at him. Her gaze and the single word she used as a response to start was nothing short of confusing. As confusing as her random appearance here in the marsh. Even if she was some sort of mirage created by Kaos, he had to believe he would have received more of a reaction from her than that.

Perhaps she was a ghost. Perhaps he was dreaming.

She didn’t turn and fade away, she moved forward and he waited - waited to hear whatever explanation she was going to offer him.

But instead, he only got more confusion - though his concern was rising as well. What had happened to her? He knew that their friendship was still something small and new, forged by a chance meeting and the existence of the perfect twins they had created together, but he still felt as though something was off with her. Her manners a little different, perhaps, than the last time they had spoke. Or maybe it had just been so long? It was difficult to tell…

He found his voice again when her head fell, his eyes still on her even though he couldn’t see hers any longer. “You don’t remember?” Even in his quiet voice, the word was emphasized but without venom. It wasn’t in Mesec’s nature to spit words back at someone even though he was having a hard time with that word and the implications that came with it. He spoke gently when he continued, trying to piece together what she was telling him with the few pieces he had. “What is it that you don’t remember?” Okay, that might be a pretty stupid question but Mesec wasn’t sure just how deep this memory loss was. Did she just not remember what the ‘something’ was that had happened while she was outside Helovia? Or did she not remember anything? Slowly, fear started to mix with the concern in Mesec’s mind - his heart beating faster with it.

His next words were faint again, filled with the fear but also with a fierce hope that Ki’irha would dismiss the question and the hurt that was contained within it without a thought. “You don’t know who I am, do you?”

Mesec
the nightwind

image credits


@Ki'irha


RE: Tallsun Kisses & Orangemoon Wishes - Ki'irha - 06-09-2017



She continued to stare at the ground, unable to meet his eyes. His words were punctuated with emotion. Was it disappointment? Disdain? Disbelief? She finally looked up at him, and for a moment her own pain faded when she heard the tone of his final words.

She moved forward gently, taking two steady steps before becoming still again. This wasn’t at all like the last time she had crossed paths with someone from her past. The prince of the north had been a stoic mountain. She had been able to gather that he was a man of few words, who rarely wore his heart on his sleeve. She didn’t know if her absence had meant anything. But this stallion? Though she couldn’t decipher his feelings, she could tell her appearance effected him. She felt that she had hurt him. His words stung, and for a moment she allowed her own brokenness to fall away. She wanted to reach out to hold him, comfort him, tell him she was sorry in every way imaginable. It was foreign to her, to feel such a way about someone she, at the time, barely knew. She hesitated, not wanting to advance and cross a line, so she held back.

“I don’t remember anything,” she whispered finally. “But please know that it’s not you. I don’t remember your name, but I also didn’t remember mine. The story is a long one, but the only important piece is that something happened to me. I think I fell, its the only explanation I was able to come up with, because one day I woke up bloodied and bruised by the side of a river at the base of a steep drop-off. My mind was wiped clean. I rinsed myself off in that river, and just started walking.

“Eventually I had spent so much time wandering, that I began to believe that maybe I had done that before. At least, until I crossed paths with a stallion who told me he recognized me, and that I was from a herd up north.”
She looked away from him again, and the aching turned into a pain in her heart as she considered her next words. It hurt to think them, and she had yet to say them out loud. Would that make them real? Would expressing her heartbreak and devastation make the sentiment even worse? “The worst part was learning that I was from here, from Helovia. I was once known here. I once had a family, a herd, a life. How am I supposed to feel, knowing that across the seasons I’ve travelled near and far, and not a single person recognized me, not a single person could tell me that I was missing, that I was being sought out, that someone out there noticed my absence and wanted to find me?” She shook her head, sadness etched into her features. “Maybe I was assumed dead, or those I knew before this didn’t have enough faith in me to know I wouldn’t abandon everything. Unless I was that kind of person, which I pray I wasn’t. Maybe I just wasn’t an important piece of this story.”

She looked back at him, seeking out his eyes. She hoped this would be enough to reassure him. When she found his milky eyes, glowing like full moons, she tried to dig deep and figure out where she knew them from. She wanted so desperately to remember him. She wanted to know who he was, how he played into her story. How she played into his.

She was so tired. She was tired of this story, tired of feeling lost, as if trapped on some desolate island a thousand miles away from civilization, and then suddenly returned and expected to be able to catch up. She was losing her fire. The star girl was beginning her tailspin, and could feel herself losing the good fight. Blackness wrapped spiny fingers around her heart and squeezed, attempting to snuff her light. How long should she keep this going? How long could she be expected to live as a stranger in her own world, without a single memory to guide her way?

’But you do remember,’ thrummed her heart, fighting against the murkiness that threatened to stop it, ’just listen’.

Perhaps she did know him. When she had seen Erebos, who told her that he was a warrior, a general, as she had been, she had been enveloped in familiarity. She had smelled the salt of the tide, heard the crashing of the waves and felt the sand beneath her hooves, felt thunder and exhilaration course through her veins. That was how she had known him. But when she saw this stallion, built from midnight and moonlight, what she felt was different. It was gentle. It was faint butterflies in her stomach, a brushed touch upon her cheek, shelter from a storm. He made her think of a breath of fresh air, the beauty held in the darkest of nights beneath a blanket of stars, two comets streaking across an inky sky.

“If it’s any consolation,” she began again, her voice once again soft, “when I look at you, I feel like I did know you. Its hard to explain, but you’re familiar to me. I’m not sure if that helps, but I hope it does.”

She shrugged her shoulders. It was a subtle dismissive gesture, unsure if her words even meant anything to him, or if they just sounded like an excuse. After a moment, she spoke again, trying to move the conversation away from her delicate emotional tipping point. “Please, remind me what your name is. I want to hear it again. And if you could spare the time, I’d love to hear how you know me.”


She still contained herself, keeping herself from moving forward again. Whatever he had to say, however he needed to say it, she was ready. She couldn’t imagine him saying anything to make this worse.

Right?


Ki'irha
you taught me the courage of stars before you left, how light carries on endlessly even after death

image credits

@Mesec .
Not phenomenal, my original post got deleted >.<


RE: Tallsun Kisses & Orangemoon Wishes - Mesec - 06-11-2017



Going against everything that Mesec was, his instinct when Ki’irha moved two steps towards him was to take two away from her - to keep the distance between them as if that would somehow help. But he forced himself to remain where he was - his fear shifting into wariness. In his life, he had experienced a lot of strange things - being the son of the Goddess of the Moon didn’t make for a simple life - but all of his experiences left him at a loss for how to handle this situation.

He watched her with his sad, silver eyes as she tried to explain what was going on. How she had woken up bloodied and bruised - and without any memories. And he felt for her, his concern for her finally rising through his own fear and pain, he really did. He took an unsteady step towards her, but just one - not knowing if he had any right to close the gap further. It didn’t help, knowing that she felt like she knew him but didn’t know how, but Mesec didn’t say that out loud. He didn't wish to add to her grief any further.

And finally, she asked him what his name was - how they knew each other. “I’m Mesec…” He didn’t know how to explain the rest of it - his name was the easiest part. His silver eyes closed as he fought against the tears and the hurt. She wasn’t doing this on purpose, he believed that, but he had been telling the truth when he said it didn’t help to know that she knew him but didn’t all at the same time. Knew that they had a connection, but had no idea what it was. His brief encounter with Ki’irha had ended up being one of the most important events in his life. She was the mother of his children, the start of something that had completely changed who he was and what he believed he could be.

His heart was breaking - for her, for the trauma she went through and what she was going through now, and for Vesper - thinking how his sweet, star-strung daughter would react to learning her mother no longer recognized her.

“We…” His voice cracked a little bit and his eyes flashed open to find her face - filled with sadness, but still hoping that when he said the words he would see recognition in her expression. “Ki’irha. We have children together.” He watched her carefully now for her reaction. It wasn’t going to be easy to hear but she needed to know. “You and I… we don’t know each other very well, but we met in the north - sheltered from a storm together - and we…” Well, he didn’t really need to say what they did, did he? He felt heat rush across his skin just remembering it. Remembering the ways he knew her. The ways she forgot she had known him.

So he skipped over that part - and got back to what actually mattered. “We have twins, a boy and a girl - Virga and Vesper, and they are the most perfect things I have ever seen in my entire life.” His words were a plea now, as if she would somehow snap out of it and remember. Remember what it felt like to look upon her children and know how much she had loved them.

Now his legs moved forward, finding more strength in his body and his words, his eyes focused on her as he hoped to close the gap between them until they were close enough that they could touch, if they wished. “And don’t you ever believe that you weren’t important or that no one was looking for you. We thought you were travelling outside of Helovia on a patrol - and when you were gone longer than expected... I visited the Basin several times just hoping that someone had heard from you, and I know Vesper has sought for you too. Virga, our son, left to look for you. He hasn’t come back, but maybe now he will...” Mesec trailed off then - wondering if maybe he shouldn’t have said so much all at once, wondering if it was too much. But he knew she was strong, even if she didn't even know it right now. “We thought about you every day, Ki'irha. There aren't words to describe how important of a piece you are to our story.”




Mesec
the nightwind

image credits


@Ki'irha


RE: Tallsun Kisses & Orangemoon Wishes - Ki'irha - 06-13-2017




“Oh.”

That was all she could say. Oh. Children. Twins. Perfection.

Virga and Vesper. Two comets.

“Mesec,” she began, saying the name slowly, regretfully, not wanting to continue. She wanted to turn and run, leave this conversation, assume that this stallion was a haunt, a ghost produced by the chilling something that resided in this forest. But this wasn’t a dream. This was more real than she wanted to admit. But somehow, despite all that had happened, he had been able to find kindness in his heart to lay the truth upon her gently. He was present for her, careful to give her just as much as she could bear. He told her that they had taken shelter together, that children had followed. It didn’t take much to assume what had happened. Were they more than friends? Had they been mates? No, they barely knew each other, it must have been a single night lost to time, with the most beautiful of consequences. They had asked for her, looked for her. They had missed her.

“I’m so sorry, Mesec. I can’t begin to imagine what my absence must have caused for you, for them. I can’t imagine what they think of me. They must hate me.”

She felt overwhelmed, but there was something so intimate about what he shared. The information he presented to her, it was everything that she had been before. Sure, she had been a warrior, a general, a fighter. But she had been a lover too. She had been a mother. Suddenly she didn’t feel so alone. He had made such a sacrifice, raising two children, and though she didn’t remember them, she could never repay him for caring for them, for loving them. She moved forward, trying to keep herself steady, betraying her better judgement. Carefully she brought herself to him, pressing her cheek against the muscled arch of his neck, releasing the softest of sighs. And as she did, it was electricity. It rippled through her, a chill down the back of her neck, a fluttering in her chest, her heart in her throat, a warm heat. She breathed him in, memorizing his scent, remembering his touch. “We met in the Steppe,” she whispered, saying it as though repeating a secret. “It was snowing, I think.” She moved her cheek against the fur of his neck, squeezing her eyes shut to avoid more tear shed. “I’ve had dreams. Most of them seemed like a fantasy, filled with things like meeting a stallion born from starlight. I just never thought any of them were real. I’m still not sure what’s real and what isn’t. I don’t know what was a memory, and what was fantasy. But I remember.

It only came to her in small bits, pieces that were hard to put together. But it was there. Her first and only memory. A memory sealed by something strong enough to destroy darkness, to pull together two worlds, to fill a single crack in her entire psyche. But beyond this tiny answer, her mind was still full of gaping fissures, threatening to crumble at any moment. “Thank you, for never forgetting me. I am thankful that, from the sounds of it, you were able to raise them alone. That is quite the burden to bear. Life wasn’t fair to you.

“I don’t know how to make this better. I can barely face you now, but I can’t imagine walking back into their lives as if nothing happened. How could I possibly face them?”
She exhaled, her heart torn, not wanting to ever let go. Slowly she pulled away, slowly stepping back and adding the smallest amount of distance between them. She had remembered him, and now as she pulled away, she was terrified she would lose it all again. But her heart burned with the sorrow she felt. It had settled upon her bones like a heavy late frost, destroying the flowers that had bloomed too early in spring.

She thought about the resentment her children must have for her. They would be saints to forgive her. When would she be able to see them? Would she be able to avoid them until she was able to sort all of this out? How long until she crossed paths with them? Though Virga was away, how long would it be until he returned? Would she ever have the chance to beg for forgivemenss? A rock, jagged and heavy and unforgiving, plummeted into her stomach, and she almost jumped from the start it gave her. “Virga, he’s gone? Into the wilds?” Her stormy eyes became frantic as she caught his gaze. “What if he met a same fate as me? What if something worse happened? Do you think he’s alright?” She began to shake her head, closing her eyes again, and her voice began to shake. “And Vesper, what of her? Is she safe? Is she well? Did she grow strong and beautiful and into everything you would want a daughter to be?”

Her head dropped then, tears staining her cheeks in long marks. “I can’t believe I missed them. I can’t believe that I left them behind. How could a mother do that? How could a mother forget?”

Again she felt isolated, lost on a rickety boat on a stormy sea. “I need to find a way to make this all better. I need to find a way to fix this. I want to know them, I do. I just can’t believe I ruined the relationship I could have had with them. I wish we had been able to do this together, and if I could ever go back and change it, if we could ever do this again the right way, I would. We could have been a family.” It was true. It could have been so different. It could have been so beautiful.

Maybe it wasn’t too late. But maybe it was.


Ki'irha
you taught me the courage of stars before you left, how light carries on endlessly even after death

image credits

@Mesec ~


RE: Tallsun Kisses & Orangemoon Wishes - Mesec - 06-27-2017



His heart, never even quite whole to begin with, continued to break as he watched his news register with Ki’irha. He waited with never-ending patience for her to wrestle with the fact that not only was she a mother but that hse was a mother who had left. He still didn’t think any worse for her, really how could he? He was still delighted in her return, whatever the complications that arose with it, even if his wariness and sadness were currently winning over among all the emotions raging within him.

He watched her carefully as she moved towards him - not moving an inch until she touched him.

And even then, he moved but it was just to close his eyes and exhale a breath so deep he could have been holding it since the last time he had felt her touch on his skin. He didn’t know whether he should be comforting her or whether it was right that these caresses were soothing him - it was easy enough to drown in her, he knew that well enough. Small shivers coursed across his body and he felt his heartbeat pick up at the same time.

But.

His eyes flashed open again when she spoke - when she remembered. First bewilderment and then a shining silver smile lit up his eyes as he watched her explain that she had dreams of their memories together. The peace of that moment didn’t last long, though, because they were drowning together - and she was facing the consequences of her time away and what that had meant for the two shining threads that bound them together.

So many questions tumbled out from her, Mesec didn’t even know where to start so he let her get them all out first.

Despite her worries, despite how real they were, Mesec chuckled - in a soft, short manner - and reached out to brush his muzzle against Ki’irha’s cheek. “You’re a mother, through and through - whether or not you forgot you were one. No one could worry like that except a parent.” But then his chuckles died and he regarded her more seriously. “I do worry about Virga… but our kids are nothing short of incredible. I mentioned they were perfect, right? I think he is okay. He took the separation from you hardest - he’s quieter, more reserved, than Vesper. I don’t think it helped that I took them with me to live in the Edge instead of staying in the Basin… but I thought it was best. The Basin and I don’t have a happy history.” Even now, Mesec didn’t regret that choice - the twins had been safe in the Edge, as his mother had said, and for a time they had lived peacefully together. “And Vesper - she’s so beyond everything I could have ever hoped for in a daughter. She has a coat of stars like you but her personality shines with sunlight.”

The last concerns that she had spoken were important and he shifted so that he could look at her properly - as though he could will her to believe the words that he was speaking as much as he did. “We’re still a family, Ki’irha. If you want to be, I mean. Everything that has happened can be fixed, and I’ll be there to help you.” The ‘if you want’ was silent this time, but still present in his eyes when he gazed at her - watching as much as he was listening for her response. That she was the family of their children was one thing, he believed she would never reject them, but he found that he was hoping to be included within that picture too.  


Mesec
the nightwind

image credits



RE: Tallsun Kisses & Orangemoon Wishes - Mesec - 06-27-2017



His heart, never even quite whole to begin with, continued to break as he watched his news register with Ki’irha. He waited with never-ending patience for her to wrestle with the fact that not only was she a mother but that hse was a mother who had left. He still didn’t think any worse for her, really how could he? He was still delighted in her return, whatever the complications that arose with it, even if his wariness and sadness were currently winning over among all the emotions raging within him.

He watched her carefully as she moved towards him - not moving an inch until she touched him.

And even then, he moved but it was just to close his eyes and exhale a breath so deep he could have been holding it since the last time he had felt her touch on his skin. He didn’t know whether he should be comforting her or whether it was right that these caresses were soothing him - it was easy enough to drown in her, he knew that well enough. Small shivers coursed across his body and he felt his heartbeat pick up at the same time.

But.

His eyes flashed open again when she spoke - when she remembered. First bewilderment and then a shining silver smile lit up his eyes as he watched her explain that she had dreams of their memories together. The peace of that moment didn’t last long, though, because they were drowning together - and she was facing the consequences of her time away and what that had meant for the two shining threads that bound them together.

So many questions tumbled out from her, Mesec didn’t even know where to start so he let her get them all out first.

Despite her worries, despite how real they were, Mesec chuckled - in a soft, short manner - and reached out to brush his muzzle against Ki’irha’s cheek. “You’re a mother, through and through - whether or not you forgot you were one. No one could worry like that except a parent.” But then his chuckles died and he regarded her more seriously. “I do worry about Virga… but our kids are nothing short of incredible. I mentioned they were perfect, right? I think he is okay. He took the separation from you hardest - he’s quieter, more reserved, than Vesper. I don’t think it helped that I took them with me to live in the Edge instead of staying in the Basin… but I thought it was best. The Basin and I don’t have a happy history.” Even now, Mesec didn’t regret that choice - the twins had been safe in the Edge, as his mother had said, and for a time they had lived peacefully together. “And Vesper - she’s so beyond everything I could have ever hoped for in a daughter. She has a coat of stars like you but her personality shines with sunlight.”

The last concerns that she had spoken were important and he shifted so that he could look at her properly - as though he could will her to believe the words that he was speaking as much as he did. “We’re still a family, Ki’irha. If you want to be, I mean. Everything that has happened can be fixed, and I’ll be there to help you.” The ‘if you want’ was silent this time, but still present in his eyes when he gazed at her - watching as much as he was listening for her response. That she was the family of their children was one thing, he believed she would never reject them, but he found that he was hoping to be included within that picture too.  


Mesec
the nightwind

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RE: Tallsun Kisses & Orangemoon Wishes - Ki'irha - 07-01-2017



She felt his touch, warm and electrifying against her cheek, and she felt herself leaning into it. He was like fire, setting her ablaze, kindling the smoldering embers that kept threatening to be snuffed out. She had been so ready to give up, so prepared to lay down and let the world crumble around her. She had wanted to be buried by the debris, and now she felt herself scrambling, wanting to find fresh air, wanting to claw her way to the surface and touch the sky. But more than that, in the subtleties of her own exhale, barely a sigh, the way she ever so slightly pressed her cheek into his touch, she felt like she finally fit back into a place where she belonged.

His smile and his laugh, though short lived, brought a small smile to her own face. She listened intently, appreciating his reassurances, and when he stopped speaking of their children, it left her wanting more. It made her sad, though, hearing the hint at turmoil when he mentioned the Basin, which she had been told she was an integral part of, and hoped, prayed, that she hadn’t had a part in his unhappiness there. She had no recollection of their abusive and racist past, nor did she know that they had finally moved past that, especially with the passing of her esteemed king. She shivered as he moved away, suddenly remembering how cold the air was, and settled back onto her own four hooves as he continued on.

She stood before him, vulnerable, open, weak, and still he spoke with kindness and forgiveness. No matter what she had done, no matter her past transgressions, he was still willing to put that all behind them so that she could be a part of this life again. “I want nothing more,” she began, voice soft, gentle, careful not to break the beautiful thing that filled the air. “I can’t do this alone. But if you’re there, if you’d be willing…” she trailed off, taking a small step away, and it made her heart ache to put more distance between them. A breeze, cold and chilling, a reminder of the season, and perhaps a warning of so much more, forced it’s way against her pelt, running it’s chilling fingers through her hair, carrying his scent to her nose, but also carried the scent of the land around them. She had nearly forgotten that the world had continued spinning, that it hadn’t frozen for them, that this moment wasn’t contained and memorialized in crystal or stone, but would instead pass as all moments do. She looked to him, searching his eyes, wondering if he could heal her, if he could patch up her breaks and mend the bruises, if he could kiss away the aches and protect her from the world. But she couldn’t place that burden upon his shoulders. He had offered himself to her, offered to help and mend and fix, and for a moment she believed that whatever it was that they held in careful hands and beating broken hearts could fix everything. She didn’t want to pull herself away. She didn’t want to unravel at the seams and lose what he had just given her.

“Mesec,” she began, eyes soft, words steady, ”I want to fix this. I want us to be a family. Vesper, Virga, you, and I. I want nothing more. But there’s still something I have to do. I need to find someone who can heal what started all of this. Then, and only then, can I return to where I belong.” She finally broke eye contact, looking past him, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spring forward again. “I am glad you were able to collect our children from the Basin. I would never want you to put yourself into a position that wasn’t good for you, nor would I have been happy knowing that you were separated from our children due to a troubled history. But, I think that may be where some of my answers lie. I don’t want you to have to return to that place.” She shook her head, her heart twisting in her chest. “I’ve been told that the Aurora Basin was my home, somewhere that I was important, somewhere I belonged.” Eyes glanced back, caught the glowing whites, and a smile spread across her lips, a sad and somber expression, but she knew that sometimes, you can’t have it all. “But when I’ve collected my things, tied up my affairs, gathered the answers I need, I will leave behind the frozen mountains, the towering pines, the stone and ice and my old family, if that means finally being able to return to my children. I’m not sure what we were, but I know that you are family. You three, you are my home. I will never forget that again, and I will never allow it to slip away.” And she would. She would cast away her ties, leave behind everything, if it meant that she could be the mother that her daughter deserved. Her next words were whispered, meant for him, for her small family, spoken like a promise, a vow, an oath. “I’ll follow you all to the ends of the earth.”

Despite knowing she needed to leave, she couldn’t bring herself to turn and go. She wasn’t ready, but she would probably never be ready to leave again. Not now, knowing that her dreams had been real, knowing that her daughter was out there without a mother, that her son was lost. She couldn’t help but wonder if her priorities were right. She needed to leave, but not yet. She could wait another moment. There were so many moments left. She had the rest of her life beneath the endless Helovian sky, with the grasses beneath her feet and the fresh air rushing into her lungs. She could enjoy the dying light of this moment before night came. Again she smiled. “Tell me more about them. I want to know everything that I’ve missed.” She would cling to every word, and hoped that as he spoke about them, she would learn more about him. There was so much she didn’t know, even buried in fractured and buried memory. “And, when you see Vesper, tell her that her mother is looking for her. Tell her that her mother loves her, and is sorry, and that everything will be better, if she’ll have me.”


Ki'irha
you taught me the courage of stars before you left, how light carries on endlessly even after death

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@Mesec ~