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Sol/Pal Spar [moved] - Official - 06-03-2012 Paladin the Valiant Feb 27, 2012, 10:20pm [OOC: Potential warrior spar. Will be 4 posts each, closing defense for first to attack. Intro does not count (4 post starts when you post an attack). 800 word limit (with leeway). Magic permitted and encouraged. To be judged by an outside judge. Winner earns VP. Environment: Evening at the Tides. Spring. The ocean tide is coming in quickly. The sand is deep and loose, and driftwood is laying about. The sun is setting quickly and will soon turn to evening. Otherwise, anything Tidely can be assumed :) ] Paladin trotted onto the battlefield, prepared for a fight, though he struggled with how to approach this spar with the one he loved. Still, his muscles itched for the tension and pain of battle, and he desired to release the warrior within. Too long had he suppressed his true nature for the delicacies of politics, and now the stallion was going to express himself in full. Proudly, the black dun looked out at the horizon, watching as the glorious sun descended into the ocean. Crisp, cooling wind took hold of his white and red tresses, curling them around his neck and fetlocks, and his heightened senses felt each thread. He inhaled deeply and let out a snort of excitement. Crimson eyes scanned the land for his opponent, the silvery grulla mare whose form he could pick out from miles away. She wanted to prove herself as a warrior, but first, Paladin had to be sure that she possessed the necessary skills required to protect the Tides. So, she would battle himself, Validino and Terraniye, and he hoped that she would succeed. Still, part of him hope that she would decide that the path of a warrior was not the one she would follow, but he knew that would not be true. The black dun stallion stood at 16.3 hands high, but his neck was set high on his shoulders and held a noble arc which increased the appearance of his size. His body was corded with muscle, but he was not lean like those built for speed. Instead, his body held all the signs of precision, a well conditioned warmblood. Withers on his topline were slightly higher than his croup, and his angles were meant for sharp turns, powerful leaps and quick movements. Though the stallion was well conditioned, his body had not recently suffered the endurance training of a long war; he was not fit for prolonged battle. A long, white horn twisted from his head in a straight line, point lethal, but he was not aiming to thrust to kill. Blood would not intentionally stain the purity he had worked so long to achieve. Paladin slowed his gait and drifted to a halt, hooves nearly buried in the sand. The ocean ran parallel to his body on his left side, and his ebony ears twisted, alert. Battlefields were his area of greatest comfort since most of his life had been spent spilling blood, so the stallion stood with a sense of great calm and confidence, poised as a warrior. Once Soleil approached, he spoke clearly, voice deep and resonating on the cold air. ”Greetings, love” he began respectfully, a smile on his lips. ”I look forward to assessing your skills in battle. I encourage you to use your magic. Since you are to be a warrior, you need to be able to defend against all manners of enemies, including those with powers. From this moment on, you and I are equals. Let us put aside our feelings for each other so you can earn your place as a warrior.” he finished. Paladin shifted his weight onto his hind legs and lowered his head slightly, crimson eyes steeling for what was to come. Soleil the Virtuous Feb 27, 2012, 10:22pm It was finally time. Time for her to meet Paladin and battle him and prove her worth. She was more than just a mare, she was a warrior. She had been a Tides Warrior under Aera's rule and now she wanted to regain her title under Paladin. She walked, her head held high and proud as she headed toward Paladin, mentally preparing herself for the battle against her love. She expected it to be a difficult one, a real battle. She had already told Paladin that she expected him to treat her as he would any other potential warrior. She wanted to earn her position and not just be given one based on her closeness with him. She would treat him as her mentor. Her partner. She would fight him just as she had Spook, holding nothing back because she wanted this. She would not pull any punches, so to speak. And if Paladin allowed for it she could test her magic out. Soleil could see him up ahead as she walked, his dark muscular body standing out against the light sand and she was reminded again that this battle would not be an easy one. She came to a stop before him, her eyes tracing over every inch of him though this time she gazed at him as a warrior. They were similar in some ways, she could see. They stood at nearly the same height and they were both muscular, though he was more thickly muscled than she. His hits, if and when he landed them, would hurt more than her own. She would not fool herself into thinking that his size would hinder him and keep him from moving quickly. She knew better than to assume that because assumption would lead to defeat and she did not want to lose to Paladin. "Paladin." She said in response to his greeting then grew quiet as he continued to speak. His words pleased her and she smiled. "Thank you for the opportunity." She said with a dip of her head. All niceties were over then and she noted how Paladin lowered his head and prepared for an attack and, as much as she would like to begin the battle with an attack she remembered her father's words. Never attack first. If you must fight then fight to defend yourself and those you love. Her tail flicked to the side as she prepared herself for an attack that would be coming. Paladin the Valiant Feb 27, 2012, 10:22pm Soleil spoke, and he inclined his head in reply to her words. Paladin’s crimson eyes ran over Soleil from the soul of the warrior that resided in his heart. He was no longer her lover. She was no longer his mate. Before him stood a mare, a potential enemy, and his eyes assessed her coldly and critically. As he took in her muscular form, her similar height, and similar weight, no love or affection could be spied in his analytical gaze. From this point on, he was a cold-hearted killer, and the true Paladin was locked behind iron bars in his heart. Paladin felt the evening breeze lift his mane from his neck, and out of the corner of the eye he saw the sun begin to set over the horizon. Instinctively, he shifted ever so slightly so the burning light was at his back, and he would use that to his advantage. Soleil had blue eyes, and they would be more sensitive to the unforgiving, bright rays of the sun. Perhaps, as the light silhouetted his form in a ring of gold, the intensity of the light would blind her from his actions; perhaps not, but he would be using every advantage. A warrior left nothing to chance. The ocean crashed in the distance, and subtle nuances in sound alerted the stallion of the rising Tide. He would push her inward, toward the deeper sand where her hooves would have less purchase, but they would be free from the dangerous ocean. As he absorbed the world around him, he invented multiple battle plans, strategies which would ensure his victory, but he would modify them as necessary. If there was one thing he learned, it was not to rely on his opponent to be predictable. At all times, he must be flexible, wary. The grey mare seemed to steel herself for a defensive by the way she flicked her tail against her back legs, and she seemed to tense her corded muscles. Nothing about her body language told him she was preparing for an attack, so he would assume the offensive. Paladin pinned his ears against his skull and tensed his body, gathering his resources for a fear tactic. The stallion bared his ivory teeth and jerked his head roughly in the air, asserting his superiority. Violently, Paladin struck the ground, his single red hoof leaving deep, rugged gouges in the ground. Imagine the sand is your flesh… Nostrils flared, the black dun stallion took a few moments to test her defenses. Powerfully, he lunged but cut himself short, sliding in the ground. How would she react? Would she leave an area open for him to exploit? Then, he ducked his head downward, lowering his spiraled white horn in a menacing way. Would she turn? What area of her body would she protect? What would she sacrifice? Done with testing, Paladin decided it was time to place a well executed attack on the mare. The black dun stallion was close, their bodies face to face. He gathered his weight on his haunches and pushed his body forward powerfully, maw open and teeth bared. Paladin twisted his head around, aiming to catch her muscular throat in his jaws. Either way she turned her body, his teeth would have a high probability of catching skin, but she did have a chance to turn and run. Would she skitter away? Emotions were void at this time. Action and reaction was all that mattered – until she managed to piss him off. Soleil the Virtuous Feb 27, 2012, 10:23pm Soleil pinned her ears back against her skull in displeasure as Paladin shifted his position to use the sun to his advantage. The bright rays nearly blinded her and she had to fight to keep her eyes open when her natural instinct was to close them and shield them from the harsh light. Her strained eyes could see vaguely as he tossed his head in the air as stallions often did to show dominance. She snorted loudly at him, his show doing little to impress or intimidate her. In that same movement he hit the ground, his hoof leaving deep trenches in the once pristine sand which served as a reminder that this battle was one for her to prove her worth as a warrior and show that she was more than just another mare. He lunged suddenly and she sank back, her muscles bunching as she prepared to be hit, but then he cut himself short and the mare was left watching him as much as she could because of her sight being hindered by the sun. She stood back tall again, preparing herself for another assault, but the only thing that came was another test from the stallion, though this was more threatening than the last. That horn he had could easily punch right through her and leave her a bleeding, dying mess on the sand. She would have to be careful because if she gave even the slightest opening he'd exploit it and she would be done for. Finally a true attack came, though it was hard for her to truly see it. She could hear his hooves hitting the sand as he came closer to her she could see his mouth open and his teeth bared for a bite. Natural instinct had her wanting to raise herself onto her hind legs and smash her hooves into Paladin's skull. The problem with that would be if she missed hitting him. It would result in her leaving her stomach and chest exposed to his horn, a deadly mistake if there ever was one. This may have only been a spar but there was no room for stupid and careless mistakes. Her hesitation left her no room to turn and kick her heels up at Paladin's face or to simply run from him so she would have to face his attack head on. Her head lowered to shield her throat from his bite and she sank back from him again aiming to put herself out of reach of his bite attack. She then lunged forward, her mouth open and teeth bared as she aimed a bite at Paladin's soft nose. If she was able to land the bite she hoped to try and twist his head to the side and make him lose his balance and send him toppling over into the sand. If she could not do that then she planned to lift herself onto her hind legs and strike her forelegs at Paladin's cannon. If she was lucky her hooves would manage to scrape away some of the thin flesh that covered them which she hoped would slow him down. Paladin the Valiant Feb 27, 2012, 10:23pm Soleil’s sarcastic snort at his posturing nearly snapped him out of his warrior mentality, because he wanted to laugh. She had this ability to cut through all of the bullshit around them, and he realized that his neck arching and threatening must be rather comical to a mare who did not understand the need for such a peacock’s show of strength and grandeur. The stallion could not help but curl his lips in amusement, though his crimson eyes were still focused on the task before him and he would not be swayed from his goal. He watched her beautiful blue eyes squint in the sun, denying him the sight of those orbs which were as deep and mysterious as the ocean itself. Perhaps that was a good thing; she was too good at distracting him. He leapt, feinted and probed for an entrance into her defenses, but she gave him little response that would give him sight into her fighting style. Boldly, she kept her ground and simply laid back on her haunches, steeling herself for impact. Would she really let him barrel into her with all of his mass? He supposed that would not be a stupid plan, considering that she was not a willowy mare. The time for testing came to a halt when he realized that he would not learn anything from probing; he had to dive into the battle blind to her actions. Paladin was thrilled by the mystery, the challenge of not knowing. The stallion lunged at the grey mare before him his ivory jaws wide open for the attack. Paladin was not surprised when she tucked her nose to her chest, protecting her fragile throat, but he had prepared for such reaction. Instead, he tilted his head ever so slightly, altering the angle of his attack. She sank back away from him, and he watched her own lips curl from her teeth, head snapping toward him. Her bite foiled his initial offensive, and to protect his own body, Paladin dipped his nose downward, and turned his head; the spiraling, white bone of his horn offered a warning. If she were to continue on her path and try to latch onto any part of his face, all he would have to do is shift the tilt of his head and his horn would take care of the defense. He had managed to avoid her first option of attack, and Paladin watched as she lifted her body off the ground, her hooves poised to injure. The stallion tucked his haunches beneath him, and his body slid in the sand, the sugary dust erupting in his wake. One of her hooves lashed downward toward his tender forelegs, and he pushed his weight back into his already gathered haunches and picked up his forelegs. He may get injured still, but at least he would have a chance to attack as well. Paladin felt one of her stony hooves clip the inside of his left foreleg as he was drawing it up underneath him, and the white hairs tore away from tender, pink skin. The pain of the first injury incensed him, and curled his lips from his teeth angrily. In violent response, the black dun stallion struck his own right foreleg at Soleil, trying to catch her tender legs as they were drawn up. Once his hooves were back on the ground, Paladin launched his body to the side, the inside of his left foreleg stinging slightly as sand found its way into the wound. Now he was a comfortable distance away from Soleil, and he had just enough time to invent a new offensive maneuver. He pivoted on his forehand then, swinging his muscular hips to face her, and he contracted the knotted muscle of his hindquarters, cranking the spring tighter and tighter still. Then, he pushed his weight onto his forehand and released the building tension on his croup, back legs shooting out powerfully in an attempt to injure whatever was closest to him at that moment in time. Soleil the Virtuous Feb 27, 2012, 10:24pm The tilt of Paladin's head foiled Soleil's attempt at biting onto his nose and using it to hold him in place for an attack to his legs. That lethal point had her bite halted, but still she lifted herself and lashed her hooves at his legs, absolutely refusing to let all of her attacks be in vain. He almost managed to foil that as well, by lifting his own heavy body into the air. She could feel one of her hooves hit his leg, though she felt it more to be a glancing blow than anything else. The mare was already lowering herself to the ground when Paladin lashed out at her, thankfully missing her fragile lower legs. Instead his hoof hit the top of her leg, near her chest, and while there wouldn't be any extensive damage to it, it would bruise and likely become a bit stiff. Soleil wanted to turn again, to put her hind end facing Paladin and buck at him while he was in the air, but she knew she did not have the time. He would likely be down on her before she managed to plant her forelegs and kick out at him. The last thing she wanted was for him to be on her back, and so she took the chance to aim a bite at him again. She aimed to latch onto his leg near where her hoof had hit him. It was a risky maneuver, she knew, but if she could focus on continuing to hit an injured spot then she would increase the chances of winning the spar and proving her worth. Paladin was soon on the ground and launching himself away from her. Not wanting to stand where she was like a fool Soleil lurched her body in the other direction. She could feel the rush of wind as his legs kicked back, thankfully striking open air where she had been standing. Had she still been there she would have undoubtedly gotten a nasty kick to her rib cage, which would have probably ended the fight before it really ever began. She did not want to lose this fight by not being able to continue on. She wanted to see it out to the end and even if she ended up being defeated, it would not be because she lay down and accepted it. Soleil slid to a stop in the sand and turned to face Paladin again. Her once warm eyes now took on a cold, tactical look as she looked him over, searching for a weak point, though the only thing that came to mind was his leg. His leg had only been a glancing blow, not nearly enough to hinder his movement. She snorted and pawed at the sand. Her muscles bunched and she launched herself toward the stallion, trying her damndest to keep her speed going, though the sand made it difficult. As she neared Paladin she steeled herself for impact. She would hurt herself, likely, but being nearly the same size as Paladin, she hoped to do some damage to Paladin as well. Paladin the Valiant Feb 27, 2012, 10:24pm Paladin felt one of his blows land on her upper leg, and while that was not where he was aiming, he took what he was given eagerly. You never knew what would be the injury that felled your opponent. He could see that multiple decisions were running through her eyes, so many options but so little time. Planning rarely made a difference in battle; true winners were those who could make the correct choice in the thick of madness. Still, somewhere in his gut, he was churning with uncertainty in fighting his mate. He was confused at first when she snapped her teeth so far downward, so confused in fact, that he was unprepared for her to latch on to his lower leg. With a snort, he flickered his ears back and squealed when her ivories took hold of the cut on his lower leg, and he pulled upward with his strong chest, lashing out with his other leg at her skull. She was smart to go for weakness, but leaving her vital neck and head so close to his unforgiving hooves was quite the risk. Finally, he broke free for a momentary respite from the chaos of close quarters combat, and he snapped his hind legs at her powerfully. Air whirled around his hooves like a wind tunnel, but he did not make contact. She was fast and smart; he expected nothing less. Paladin quickly put all for hooves into the sand and shifted to be able to watch Soleil, his crimson eyes just as cold and tactical as her own, beautiful blue ones. The black dun stallion tossed his white and crimson mane around his neck, and he snorted loudly in response to her pawing at the sand. Paladin struck the sand violently with his single red hoof, enjoying the tension of simply facing his opponent, enjoying the rising calm before the next storm. And then it came. He watched as she erupted with speed, her large and muscular form careening toward him like a runaway train. She showed no signs of slowing. Ramming her body which was nearly equal in size to his would injure them both, but the impact would damage him more than her with her increasing velocity. Paladin was not built like Silverline for close quarters spins and agility, but he was agile enough. He watched as Soleil approached and at the last, terminal second, he shifted to the side and bared his teeth. Paladin attempted to scrape his fangs across her side as she moved past him, and he wanted to get in an injury to keep this spar moving. Still, he had slightly underestimated her speed, so as he had moved to the side, she managed to clip his hip with her shoulder. He could feel the muscle bruise, but the slight injury would not begin to manifest in a limp for quite a few hours yet. In a perfect world, this is when a spar would end so that both players could allow their muscle to knit back together in peace, but since when had the world ever been perfect? Paladin lunged away from Soleil, distancing them once more, and he kept light on his hooves. He watched her for a moment before deciding that he was no longer content being on the defensive. The black dun snapped his front hooves up violently and sidled close to her, neck arched. Once he was close, Paladin shifted and kicked at her once more, but he stood more of a chance to land a quick blow if he did not increase the power behind his thrust. So, the black and crimson demon snapped a single hind leg at her, ears pinned back but also listening intently. Soleil the Virtuous Feb 27, 2012, 10:25pm Her ears pinned back against her head as she latched onto Paladin's leg where she had managed to strike him earlier. Triumph was a short lived emotion for her as he struck down with her his free hoof. Startled, the mare shifted enough so that he would not strike her head, but instead her neck where it would do less damage even if it did hurt. The strike was a hard one that would result in brusing and stiff muscles, but it wouldn't keep the mare from stopping either until the fight was finished or she couldn't move anymore. Thankfully she had been able to get away from him and his kick and gather herself before charging him. Soleil did not expect Paladin to stay standing where he was and offer her such a vulnerable target, so she was ready to shift her body so that she would not run past him and have to backtrack and waste precious energy that she could be putting into other attacks. As he sidestepped she put on the breaks, but the slippery sand kept her from stopping as quickly as she would have been able to on grass and she still careened forward. Her shoulder clipped Paladin's hip and his teeth scraped against her side before she was finally able to come to a stop and automatically she threw her weight onto her forelegs and bucked at Paladin, putting as much force into the kick and flinging as much sand up into the air as she could manage. She may have been wrong in assuming that he'd circle behind her to try and take advantage of her sudden stop, but she was willing to make that assumption and hoped it would be a correct one. And if she were correct that he was behind her then the sand would, hopefully, get in his eyes and blind him long enough for her to get in a good solid hit. As soon as her hooves touched the ground she spun around, loathe to keep her back to Paladin, but he was not standing before her. Movement to her side drew her attention there and there he was, sidling closer to her. Her ears pinned back, but she allowed the stallion to draw closer to her. Her muscles tensed as instinct warned her away from allowing him to draw close, but Soleil shoved instinct aside for the time being. She could sense that he'd lifted his leg and as he struck at her she snapped her teeth at his throat. His hoof hit her cannon with a loud smack! and the pain was immediate and unrelenting. The limping would be immediate, but it would pay off if she was able to clamp her teeth down on his throat and choke him out of the fight. Paladin the Valiant Feb 27, 2012, 10:25pm Paladin took pride in the fact that his hoof made contact with her neck, but he prayed that the damage was minimal. The force of his strike radiated back up his leg, and he knew how hard he hit her in that tender area. She would be hurting later, and he was glad that she had moved her head out of the way. The battle wore on, and he turned his head as sand sprayed from her fast stop. Sand was a bitch on the eyes. His hip was still smarting as the sand flew, and he took a moment to wait for the lingering burn to go away, knowing he had a little time. Soleil bucked at him then, and though her hooves missed his body, the sand flew into his face. His crimson eyes watered as the fine grains leaked from his ducts, but he backed up very quickly, removing himself until his blurry vision was fully restored. Luckily, it returned quickly, and he was able to attack, moving close to her side to land a hit. He had noticed that close quarters where their sizes were matched was almost better than being in range of her strong hind quarters lashing out at him. Paladin felt his hoof collide with her canon bone, and the sound that echoed over the beach was gut wrenching. Would she be permanently injured? The black dun stallion’s neck was arched, so as Soleil went to grab his throat, he could see what her ivories were aiming for. Paladin dove his neck down, white and crimson mane curling and dancing in his wake. Soleil’s ivories could snap down on his mane, and his face was dangerously close to her legs. Still, he tried to leap out of the way. Paladin circled quickly, wanting to end this spar once and for all. She was strong, determined and powerful. In his eyes, she had already proven herself to him, but he could not end this early and insult her sense of pride. No, he had to push until the very end. The black dun stallion tossed his head proudly, and he felt the burn in his hip come back. Running at her was not an option. He had to be careful with the actions he chose so as not to reveal the damage. She was favoring the hind leg that he had kicked, so she was weak on her right side. Paladin continued his cantering circle and then swiftly changed his course, angling in at her shoulder. With one final act of violence, Paladin reared onto his hind legs, ignoring the screaming of his hip. He pushed forward until he was parallel to Soleil’s body, his nose near her tail. Then, he reached down with his jaws open, aiming to grab the large tendon sitting on top of her tender hock. If he could latch on to that, he would immobilize her completely, but he did not expect her to allow him such ease in his attempt. This would be his last attempt, however. Paladin was glad for that fact. He had no desire to watch Soleil suffer any longer, and his hip was aching something fierce. Soleil the Virtuous Feb 27, 2012, 10:26pm She wanted to cuss when Paladin ducked his head down and she missed clamping down on his throat. Instead she ended up with a mouthful of his mane, but it was good enough for her. She held tight to it and jerked her head to the side to try and pull Paladin off balance. At the same time she lifted a foreleg and struck her hoof down at his head. The blow wasn't as hard as it could have been, but if she landed it she did not want to run the risk of killing the stallion or permanently injuring him in what was supposed to be a spar. Her grip on his mane was tenuous and it slid from her grasp as he leaped away from her. She let it go and didn't pursue him as he circled around her, mainly because of her leg where he'd struck moments before still throbbed. Even the thought of walking on it was something she didn't want to consider, but as he reared and moved closer to her she knew it was something that she would have to do. Ears laced back against her head as he continued to come even closer. Soleil's head turned and she watched Paladin as he came closer to her side and when his jaws opened she moved so that he would not grab hold of her. Her step was hitched, but the mare forced herself to move rather than be stationary. As she did so, however, she bucked, her hooves aimed for Paladin's hindquarters. The kick would not hold as much power as it would have before the fight had started due to her growing exhaustion and an injured hind leg, but if she landed the kick she would still be pleased. Paladin the Valiant Feb 27, 2012, 10:39pm Paladin felt her ivories snatch onto his mane, and he snorted as her strong, muscular neck pulled at his crest. He felt the point of his shoulder reaching over the critical angle, but a quick shuffle of his hooves regained his balance. However, that was enough of a distraction to keep him from seeing one of her hooves flying at his face until the very last second. Paladin closed his eye tightly and jerked his neck back upward, the uncleaned curve of her hoof scraping along his chin and tearing out hair and skin. Quickly, he backed away and managed to unleash his mane from her jaws. He came in quickly for another attack but Soleil quickly jerked her hock away from his teeth, and he grunted in frustration. Still, part of him was grateful. His jaw was smarting from he kick, and he was not entirely interested in have to work to keep them closed around a strong joint. As they departed once more, her strong hindquarters lashed out and him, and he jumped to the side, wincing as his tired and aching muscles screamed in protest. Breathing heavily, nostrils flaring with effort, the stallion slowly jogged to a halt, facing his love. "All right, all right. I think you have more than proven yourself to me," he said tiredly. A goofy, exhausted smirk spread across his lips, and he chuckled. "I am quite the strong lover." Official Mar 12, 2012, 9:33pm P a l a d I n | S o l e i l - - - - - By my verdict PALADIN is the winner. PALADIN -- post 1 (attack only) [Realism] + 1| Using the sun to blind Soleil + 1| Feint attacks + 1| Attack: biting at throat [Prose] + 1| Easy read + 1| Emotion + 1| Flow SOLEIL -- post 1 [Realism] + 1| Being blinded by the sun 0| No real reaction to the feint attacks - 1| Defense: complete evasion of the bite – unless she turned and ran away, just sinking back doesn’t seem far enough to completely avoid this. All he’d need to do is take one more step to be close enough, and he has the time to do that. + 1| Attack: biting at his nose + 1| Attack: strike at his cannons [Prose] + 1| Emotion + 1| Flow - 1| Easy Read – slightly confused by her last attack. I couldn’t tell if she was additionally attacking him with the rear, or was giving the option of biting or rearing. It wasn’t until I read your ooc note that I understood. PALADIN -- post 2 [Realism] + 1| Defense: blocking bite with horn + 1| Defense: grazed by the rear + 1| Attack: rearing kick at her forelegs + 1| Attack: bucking [Prose] + 2| Emotion + 1| Easy Read + 2| Flow SOLEIL -- post 2 [Realism] + 1| Defense: bruised foreleg + 1| Attack: biting his foreleg – I would normally give this a minus or zero, because it is a very poor choice to put a head in such easy kicking range, but since you describe knowing it as risky and why she was willing to risk it, I decided for character sake it was realistic + 1| Defense: avoiding the buck + 1| Attack: charging [Prose] + 1| Emotion + 1| Easy read + 2| Flow PALADIN -- post 3 [Realism] + 1| Defense: taking bite to leg + 1| Attack: kicking at her head + 1| Defense: bruised hip from her charge + 1| Attack: biting at her side + 1| Attack: cow kick [Prose] + 2| Emotion + 1| Easy read + 2| Flow SOLEIL -- post 3 [Realism] + 1| Defense: kick taken to the neck + 1| Defense: bitten on the side - 1| Injury: no mention of the damage sustained by the side bite + 1| Attack: bucking + 1| Using sand to blind him + 1| Defense: kicked in the cannon + 1| Attack: biting at throat [Prose] + 1| Emotion + 1| Easy Read + 2| Flow PALADIN -- post 4 [Realism] + 1| Defense: avoids buck + 1| gets sand in eyes + 1| Defense: ducks from bite 0| Injury: mentioning the hip bruise – I really wanted to give you a point for bringing up his hip injury, but just mentioning it isn’t enough, I need to see how it effects him. More so though this doesn’t make much sense, as he says he can’t move quickly due to his hip, but then he’s cantering in a tight circle which seems incredibly difficult for an already hurting hip to do. [Prose] + 1| Emotion + 1| Easy Read + 1| Flow SOLEIL -- post 4 [Realism] + 1| Attack: yanking on his mane + 1| Attack: kicking at his head 0| Injury: cannon hurts to walk – same as paladin’s, I really wanted to give you this point for bringing it up, but just mentioning it isn’t enough but how it hinders or changes your fighting options/actions. Again this is sort of opposite though and confusing, as you say it hurts to walk but then you buck with this injured leg. If you had described tucking the injured leg in during the buck, so only the one leg was striking, that would have worked. + 1| Defense: moving away from bite - 1| Attack: bucking at his hindend – if he was biting her hock, and she’s limping, she wouldn’t have the speed or time to position herself to buck at his hindquarters. If anything she would have bucked in response to his bite and likely glanced his nose. [Prose] - 1| Easy read – confused that you said he reared when he hadn’t, and had to re-read the end a few times to understand everything + 1| Flow PALADIN -- post 5 (defense only) [Realism] + 1| Defense: avoiding being pulled over + 1| Defense: chin gets nicked + 1| Defense: avoids buck PALADIN [Bonus] + 2| Surroundings + 1| Breed [Injuries] none [Creativity] + 1| Using the setting sun behind you to your advantage Comments: You did wonderful, especially with describing attacks and defenses and I loved the emotions I saw coming through as Paladin struggled to fight his mate. I would suggest working on remembering not just your injuries, but how they will affect the way you fight, mainly how they may hinder or change what your character might normally have done. Good job remembering breed and skill, and I especially liked how easy it was to read through your posts. SOLEIL [Bonus] + 2| Surroundings + 1| Breed [Injuries] none [Creativity] + 1| Using sand to blind him Comments: Great fight! You had a good understanding of attacks and defenses, with just a few situational type slip ups. Overall I’d like to see more emotion coming from you. Your posts were very much just action and reaction with only a few hints of motive or your character’s thoughts. You similarly should work on not just remembering sustained injuries, but how they’ll affect or hinder your character’s choices throughout the fight. Granted in such an easy spar there’s not a whole lot of injuries to bother with. Good job remembering surroundings and breed mention. For the most part your posts were easy to read, but sometimes got a little bit confusing and could be a bit choppy with their structure. Doing great though keep it up! TOTAL PALADIN - 88 SOLEIL - 76 RE: Sol/Pal Spar [moved] - Official - 10-22-2012 Finished