the Rift


[completed] let the blood rain down[Open]

Azúcar Posts: N/A
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#1
As a child I had been obedient, the perfect child. I would always do what my mother told me, but my perfectness only lasted for a few weeks. I was found talking to nothing, and soon my parents discovered my mental issues. My father instantly said I was worthless garbage. My mother had defended me, and was injured because of that. Afterwords I mutilated my father.

That's when it came along.

My love for blood and flesh. It grew like a wild fire, and in an instant I was consumed entirely. After getting a taste of flesh I instantly went insane, and my body changed. And so did I.

I'm standing high atop the frozen hills of the Steppe, my mane and tail whipping in the numbing breeze. My solid gray hooves are dug into the snow, my nostrils flaring. I'm gazing down at the barren wasteland below me. It's silent, peaceful. I hated it.

I wanted war. I wanted to hear the sound of flesh tearing apart and bones crunching. I wanted to hear the screams of victims and the roaring of the attackers. I wanted to see the war, watch as the blood stains the ground and the hooves and teeth dig deeply into the flesh. As feathers and blood rain down from the sky and horns pierce skin.

I stomp my hoof, rearing up. My gray hooves box the air and I call out, call out for a horse that dared to fight me. I wanted a battle. I wanted to feel my horn sink through soft tissue, I wanted the blood to stain my body. I wanted to feast on the flesh of another. I wanted it.

And it would come to me on a silver platter. A fool who dared to fight me. I would destroy them. I would pound them down. Yes, that is what I would do. I glance to the side, all four of my solid coal hooves back onto the ground. A shady figure stands beside me, beady red eyes staring back at me. Interesting, he never came around much. Long time no see. I stare at the form, a muscular build, a horn sitting atop his skull. "I haven't seen you since you were just a lass."

I see a slight smile creep upon the faded face of the figure and I smile too. Sort of. This, this was my first friend. He was the first ghost to creep into my head. He was my friend back then, taught me how to fight. He was the first one to start that dangerous wild fire, and he slowly forced it to grow. But I agreed to him, I had helped him spread the wild fire of hate and blood lust. And now, I wished to feed my hunger for blood. I wait there beside him, I wait for an opponent to arrive and fight me.

For there will be blood spilled under this night sky.

[[3 attack posts each, whoever posts next may attack first. 800 words max. Takes place in the Basin at dark. Magic and companions are allowed.]]
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#2
 


Gravedigger, when you dig my grave can you make it shallow? So that I can feel the rain..



The world was just full of foolish little mares, looking to challenge someone in the snow.

Only hours before, at noon, Gaucho had encountered a whitish unicorn in a maze of ice, who had demanded a challenger, much in the way this oddly-decorated child was doing now. While Sno had screamed the actual words, this beast was simply screaming. The sound both grated and delighted Gaucho’s senses, and he was more than happy to give her a reason to shut-up. Although Gaucho had taken a few injuries from his morning spar, he would never - could never - turn down a challenge. It was not pride, or egotism which forced him to accept, merely the idea of testing his body in a new way. If ever the Throat was attacked, would he simply walk away, because he had a few boo-boo’s? Naynay, he would stand and fight; as he would right now.

Under the guise of nightfall, Gaucho’s bay cover seemed to darken, though it did not quite blend in with the slate-grey slabs of stone that adorned the basin. The filly on the other hand, was like a beacon of magenta hues, as she pawed at the sky. Gaucho’s wings were folded neatly at his side. Sno’s horn had cleanly sliced the surface of one of his wings, leaving a shallow but long gash. It had stung at the time, and even more so after the fight when he tried to move the wing about to assess any further damage. The shallow ones were almost the worst. Gaucho approached from the south, unaware that a herd lived in this frigid basin - he had simply been exploring once he departed from Sno in the Arch. Mara was unimpressed at the idea of spending any more time in the cold than was absolutely necessary, yet as the thought of another spar trickled into her mind, she warmed to the idea immediately. She was furious that when she had lunged for the white unicorn, that all she got for her efforts was a mouthful of mane; she would not fail twice in one day.

Gaucho could see from the gleen above the filly’s head in the moonlight, that she was a unicorn, and made a mental note to keep his wings out of the way, for earlier in the day, Sno had showed him just what their horns were capable of. She looked muscular for one who also looked so young, without any real identifiable traits which might let him know her lineage. He would assume the worst, in that case. Moving with an uncanny grace for a creature so big, Gaucho galloped towards her. He began his charge once he was about 20 feet away, and released a blood curtling scream at about 10 - if she wasn’t already aware of his presence, she should be now. Gaucho would not attack from behind - let him face his partner head on, and reap the consequences. Quickly, his mind began to calculate, for with this much warning the filly could do any number of things to try and evade him. He was far larger, and while her smaller body might make her more agile, he was simply covering too much ground, for it to be likely that she could run away completely. But that horn...He would have to watch that. As Gaucho charged towards her, picking up more and more speed, he angled himself to try and slam into her left flank, on somewhat of an angle. Likely she would turn her head in, meaning to spear him with her horn. Trying to avoid that, if he could, he tried to angle his impact to body-check into her, while maintaining his momentum. He kept his steely blue-gray gaze locked upon her, ready to adjust his movements as necessary to hit his target.As he passed, throwing his weight to the left and hopefully knocking into her, he bucked at her left leg, aiming haphazardly at her thigh as he veered to the right and away from her inevitable retaliation.

[ WC: 698 Attack 1/3 M&G 0/2 Closing Defense 0/1 ]

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Azúcar Posts: N/A
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#3
My call had been answered.

I smile, laughing hysterically. My lips were curled into a crazed smile, my plum eyes gazing at him. It's dark, but I'm able to make out wings tucked at his side. At first I think, this will be easy. Mainly because I could sever his wings, right from the withers. But, I freeze upon seeing antlers jutting from his head.

A unicorn and a pegasus?!

I shake my head, thinking I'm going insane. Ha! Funny, I'm already insane. At first I think the stallion is waiting for me. He took quite a while, probably assessing me. He wanted to see what he was getting into. But, he was looking at the shell. Inside of me were thousands of murderous thoughts and plans running underneath the hard covering of my skull. I raise my head, waiting. My muscles tensed as the stallion launched himself forward, charging forward. I snort, staring for a moment, my gray ears perked. He was only ten or so feet away from me when he gave out a blood curdling scream. A war cry. I gave out one too, challenging him. My scream rung out, sounding hysterical and almost furious. I watch his hooves, my plum orbs constantly flicking to his face.

He angles his dark body to my left, and then I smiled, chuckling in a sinister way. I watch as he attempts to ram against me, his coat brushing mine at first, and he throws his weight into it too. I widen my stance, catching myself. As he passes I throw my thick, crystal horn before his neck while attempting to bite his shoulder. I would try to tear a nice, juicy chunk of flesh right of. Get a taste of my opponent's flesh and blood. See if I want to continue to fight them or just leave. No, I wouldn't leave. Cowards leave. I feel a sharp pain in my left leg, and instantly I see why. I watch as the stallions' leg withdraws from my flesh, and I reach my neck out, snarling like a predator. "Bastard!" I hiss, my row of small and pointy teeth aimed towards the stallions' leg or rump.

I snarl, my lip curled up. I chase after him, attacking from the side. I lunge towards the side, my gray hoof aiming for his left side. I slam it downwards, placing it back onto the snowy ground. I twist my head slightly, aiming to jab the stallion in the stomach or the wing. I was cautious, for I had seen something near the stallion. An animal of some sort. Possibly his companion. It seemed like a snake, so I had to be cautious. Any companion in general would be dangerous. I toss my head, throwing my horn towards the sky.

I wanted to paint all the stars a beautiful, bloody red.

[ WC: 477 ; Attack 1/3 ]
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#4
 


Gravedigger, when you dig my grave can you make it shallow? So that I can feel the rain..



As the filly screamed back at him, Gaucho pinned his ears to his skull, deafening her pitiful childish screams, but also protecting his ears. He wondered what it would feel like to send her flying onto the rocky ground - if perhaps her 'war cry', would simply turn into a child's cry, as her small body crumpled before his. As they came together, Gaucho could feel the softness of her youthful pelt against his, and yet she did not fall. Instinctively he is aware that she had widened her stance to receive his momentum, and yet he feels robbed somehow. As his large body continued forward, he could feel her nose turning into him, but the movement almost seems delayed. If she meant to stab him with her horn in front of his neck, why wait until their bodies were already touching? For then it would be too late, and he would be hurtling past her.

Given their differences in size, as she was only a yearling, the tip of her horn scraped against his left flank, just before it met his hip. Pinpoints of blood emerged from his course coat, as her horn etched across 5 inches of his upper flank. He also felt her teeth grab hold of his left thigh muscle for a moment, almost exactly where Sno had kicked him earlier in the day, but given how massive that muscle was, there was little for her to hold onto, and really sink into. The pain she had caused with her horn was little more than an annoyance, and yet he was annoyed. Annoyed at this youngsters sloppy attacks, which had still wounded him, compounding on his injury from midday. While Sno's kick, and this filly's bite separately, were not strong enough to do any lasting, or even visible damage, together, they caused the already bruised muscle to throb painfully. It felt all the more satisfying when his hooves connected on her left leg, feeling the delicious impact of hooves against tender flesh and bone. As she screamed out at him, he heard her teeth snapping as if she meant to try and bite him again, yet he was already out of her reach. Perhaps if she had tried to bite then scream profanities at him, she might have been more successful.

As he veered to the right, expecting her to buck in his direction, he was surprised to find that she was chasing after him, for he could hear the echoing sound of her hooves striking the hard basin ground. Being much larger, as well as having muscles more than just a season or two old, Gaucho distanced himself easily from her, veering his body away from her hoof, which attempted to strike out as his left side. From her position within his antlers, Mara slithered down Gaucho's mane to his wither, watching the filly with great black hungry eyes. As Azucar turned her head in, meaning to gauge Gaucho with her horn, the snake took the opportunity, attempting to use Azucar's horn as a bridge. Gaucho, through his mental connection to the snake, could sense what she was doing, and knew he needed to let the filly stay close, if Mara was going to make the jump. Biting his lip, he remained where he was, as he felt Azucar's horn stab into the top layer of skin, covering his wing. Feeling the squeal of pain from her bonded, Mara lunged forward, trying to skim over the horn with her agile and quick body. If successful, she would loop herself around the horn so as not to be dislodged, and bite into the filly's neck, on the left side, just behind her jaw.

Pulling away, and feeling the filly's horn remove its needle-like point from his wing, Gaucho immediately swung his large hind-end to the left, bucking with vigour at her right flank and lower belly. As his hind hooves hit the ground again, Gaucho continued to veer to the right, pulling his wounded wing close to his body. The wound was clean, and about 2 inches deep, and blood was immediately beginning to trickle from the area, tinging his black feathers red. Holding it to his side was painful, as the muscle was contracted, and yet it was safer than keeping them open and giving Azucar a larger target. Galloping to the right, Gaucho arched himself in a large circle, as he felt the stirrings of his magic deep within his belly, just waiting to be unleashed. He listened intently, dousing the sound of his own hoof-beats in his mind to try and place where the purple filly was, in the midnight darkness of the Basin.

[WC: 779 Attack 2/3. M&C 1/2 Closing Defence 0/1]


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Azúcar Posts: N/A
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#5
I had missed!

Of all things, I missed his neck! I had flung my precious horn out too late! But my horn still pierced skin. I smile, feeling the blood begin to drip down the lavender horn. and onto my forehead. I tilt my head slightly so his blood runs down to my lips. My tongue peaks out between my gentle lips to catch the droplet of blood. Once the blood is upon my tongue, it snakes back into my mouth, and I swallow. Precious blood. "Thanks for the taste!" I grin, my lips curled into an insane little smile.

My teeth grabbed hold of flesh, but I couldn't bite any farther down. I swear, jutting my head forward to see if my horn would pierce any flesh. I raise my head, trying to scrape it along the stallions' side. I wanted more. More of his precious, salty blood. It was simply delicious.

Apparently screaming and then biting doesn't work. I snort, angered and annoyed. "Stand still for a moment, will you?!" I roar, my voice surprisingly deep for a child my age. Child, yeah right. I've been through more than this bastard ever will. I've tasted war, I've tasted my own father's blood. Did I care, of course not. I never did. Once you've killed someone, you don't care anymore.

My hooves beat the earth as I charge after the bastard, and I start screaming. Not the scream of a helpless child, but the scream of a psychotic murderer, ready to destroy another soul. I watch as he veers away, and I scream out louder. "COWARD! RUNNING AWAY FROM ME?!" I laugh hysterically. A grown stallion, shying away from me?! It made sense, especially since I've tasted his blood.

I feel the precious sound of my horn sinking into flesh, the tip becoming stained in a succulent red. I grin, tilting my head up and letting the blood drip down to my lips. I lick them clean, smiling. It was only then I saw a black rope-like shape springing towards me. At first I'm surprised, but I feel it coil around my horn and I know what it is.

Snake.

I rear up, my hooves flailing. I aimed to jab the dark stallion with my hooves, and I toss my head, bucking and kicking and flailing about trying to get the snake off. I do this for only a few moments before I realize snakes hate the cold. I bend my knees and slam my horn into the ground, hoping to squish the snake between my head and the frozen ground. I lift my forelegs up and try to scrape the snake off of me. "GET OFF OF ME!" I scream, deep within my throat a snarl begins to ring out. I feel something scrape my back and I remove my horn from the frozen ground. The stallion had tried to kick me, and he had scraped my back. Ha, missed me! I want to scream out. But I retained myself. I raised myself, trampling that area just in case that stupid snake was still there.

I raise my head, charging the stallion, trying to stab him with my horn. If the snake was still there I would slam it between my forehead and it's bonded. HA! That'd be hilarious to see. I glance at him, he's farther ahead and weird little specks between his antlers begin to glow. I glance back, making sure nothing was following me. Was I supposed to see something? I glance back again, and then laugh. "HA! Trying to scare me with nothing?! HAHA! Like I'm gonna be scared of nothing. I SEE DEAD PEOPLE YOU BASTARD. NOTHING SCARES ME!" I charge after him, laughing as though I enjoyed this. It was fun, toying with this bastard. I push myself forward while he concentrates on using his 'magic'. I aim to stab his left side with my horn, although I was smaller in size, I tried to jab anything within reach of my sharp horn. Possibly somewhere near his neck or his ribs, since those areas appeared closest. I stretch my neck out, trying to bite his shoulder too. I throw my fore hoof out at the same time, trying to kick the back of his front left leg. I wanted more.

More of this bastards' flesh and blood.

[[ I didn't know if his magic had started or not. If you need me to fix this, I will. ^^
WC: 725 Attack: 2/3]]

Odd the doer of things Posts: 115
Administrator atk: 23 | def: 42 | dam: 108
Mare :: Other :: 5"2 :: 27 HP: 108 | Buff: badass
Odd
#6
[Nope, no magic yet. Feel free to edit. Since Gaucho can only use his magic once his blood has been spilled, he immediately begins to feel it stirring as soon as she gauges him with her horn, but he hasn't used it yet. :3 ]
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#7
 


Gravedigger, when you dig my grave can you make it shallow? So that I can feel the rain..



Gaucho could hear Azucar’s wails echoing across the slate of the Basin; obviously Mara had made her way onto the filly - and the brute assumed that she knew what she was doing. One bite from Mara, and the filly could experience dizziness or blurred vision. Given Azucar’s size and ambiguous heritage, she might even pass out all together...but then again, Mara was young as well. As Azucar bends to stab her horn into the ground, Mara tried to wind herself tighter around the spiraled horn, which ultimately protected her from being flattened into the ground; given that a unicorn could not touch the ground in the triangular-area around their horns, as long as Mara stayed within that, she ought to be okay. Given her state of focus, Gaucho was unable to tell if his bonded had been able to successfully bite at the young filly or not, yet he could sense that she was alright, and hadn’t been dislodged. Gaucho felt his hooves only graze the filly, and he wondered how he had managed to kick so high, but he supposed that given she was only a yearling, it was possible he had aimed too high. Then again, he hadn’t anticipated the filly being smart enough to try and get rid of the snake, so perhaps when his back was turned to buck, her flailing had saved her from the full force of his hooves.

As Gaucho veered in a large arch to the right, he could hear Azucar’s hooves pounding the slate, and he probed Mara’s mind to ensure that the bond was still there. But Mara was no common snake, her species was quite literally the fastest snake in the world. Coiling her body, Mara propelled herself away from Azucar with uncanny speed, able to move 3 meters per second, which would only increase as she aged, while Azucar was busy throwing what appeared to be a temper-tantrum, as she tried to squash the snake without success. Mara’s gun-metal body disappeared in the moonlight, finding some small crevice to hide in until she could access her place in Gaucho’s antlers.

Gaucho could hear Azucar charging after him, due to her small hooves striking the ground, and Gaucho wondered why she kept trying to attack his left side, especially given that the right side of his body was currently facing her, as he arched around. Perhaps she simply wanted to add to the damage of her horn-scrape and bite to his left side? Or had he really grunted so much in pain that she became aware of the previous bruising from Sno’s kick earlier in the day? If she had, it was sloppiness on his part for showing such weakness.

Given his previous spars with unicorns such as Valentine and Sno, and even the tactics employed by this filly, Gaucho had come to realize how often they liked to try and spear the length of his body, as if the war paint which adorned his bay-coat were like targets to be aimed for. Assuming that once she caught up with him, she would turn to the right, since she was attacking on his left, to try and spear him, Gaucho attempted to counter. From the glowing beads in his dream-catcher, a bluey-silver mist poured out, materializing into a great hulking bear, nearly the size of Azucar. As the filly neared, the bear floated to Gaucho’s left, somewhere before her, running directly towards her, snarling and slashing at the air. Taking the opportunity which was afforded to him, Gaucho spun with a battle-practiced grace on his hind end, throwing himself around to the right, almost perpendicular, as Azucar passed. He could feel her horn nick his shoulder, but given his turn it was no more than a scratch. As her nose reached out to bite at his left thigh which was now before her, he took the opportunity to buck, hoping to kick her squarely in the jaw, or chest before her teeth connected. Continuing to pivot to the right, now somewhere behind the filly on her right, Gaucho lunged forward, ears pinned with fury. Hurtling himself forward, Gaucho lowered his antlers to give her a dose of her own medicine - he aimed his intimidating rack for her right shoulder, meaning to knock into her as he galloped by. He did not kick out, as his left leg was now dulling throbbing with pain, but assumed his antlers would be sufficient.

His steely gaze was trained to the ground, looking for Mara in the moonlight, as he kept his ears trained back on Azucar, listening for the sound of her pursuit on the slate.

[WC: 797 Attack 3/3. M&C 2/2 Closing Defence 0/1. Gaucho is using buffs bulk and swift.]

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Azúcar Posts: N/A
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#8
I sigh as the snake slithers and hides itself in a crevice. I would have to jab around at any crevices that I found later. Or maybe that stallion would find his bonded before I had the chance to stab her. It didn't matter. For now, I would fight. The icy ground was slippery under my hooves, but I was able to gallop along, although it was tough.

I only realized this now, but I was attacking the stallions' left side. I was foolish, and realized my fault too late. I was already brushing against the stallion's left side, my heart filled with an uncontrollable rage.

The glowing beads that adorned the dream catcher that hung from his antlers began to glow, and I watch as a silvery mist begins to trickle out. Oh no, MIST. I roll my eyes, doubting this will hurt. I watch as the sparkling mist begins to gather, taking shape of something. At first, I think it's only a blob. But slowly more details appear and I realize it's a bear that's about as large as me, and it's headed for me. I can feel fear begin to creep through me, spreading like a wild fire. I pause the thoughts in my mind for a moment. I SPEAK TO THE DEAD, YOU IDIOT. I almost screamed. The fear sunk away as water washed through the wild fire of fear, causing it to be reduced to nothing but a few wisps of smoke. I laugh, passing through the spirit bear. Did this bastard think I was a regular child? He was wrong, oh so very wrong.

I feel the stallions' legs as he rears up, swinging them about for a moment. As I reach for his left leg I see his leg heading for me. I withdraw my head, but realize that his hoof still slams into my chest. It leaves me winded for only a few moments, and I realize there will be a bruise in that spot tomorrow or so. While the dark leg is withdrawn back to his body, I reach out, trying to bite it.

I watch the stallion slam his antlers down towards me, my brain fizzles and twist around and I rear up, stepping backwards slightly. What was I doing? I feel his horns scrape against my fleshy stomach, and I wince. His antlers weren't too sharp on the end, but they still left some bruises and a few scrapes. While I had the chance I bring my hooves down onto the stallions' back, trying to drive them into his flesh, that is if he slowed down. It was hard to his a moving target. I circle around, finding myself on the stallions' right side this time. I try to bite him several times, my eyes narrowed. I try to jab him through the back of his cheek, maybe between the bottom of his skull with my horn. Maybe even catch his eye. I smile, wincing as all the wounds send screams of pain in unison. The cold air didn't help, for it froze my wounds and caused them to numb.

But I wouldn't let anything stop me from destroying this stallion.

[[ Word Count: 532 Attack 3/3]]
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#9


The filly moved faster than Gaucho had anticipated, seemingly un-phased by the spirit bear which so ominously poured from his antlers. It was actually quite unnerving, to see her young lilac body move so undaunted through the vapourous bear, as if literally walking through death was something she did often. And if that was true, perhaps there was a shaman of these lands, a wise one who perhaps possessed the same magic that he did? Would he be permitted to speak with the wise-one's of other herds? ommmmnnnnnnnieee would know. Gaucho's mind was swiftly brought back to the moment as he felt his hind hooves connect on what seemed to be the filly's chest. As his hooves snap back towards his dark body, he feels a tugging on his tail, as Azucar's teeth latch onto the silky black tresses. Given that she had moved her face out of the way of his thrashing hooves, her movement had been far too slow to find purchase on his legs as they lithely retracted back under his body, yet as his luxuriously long tail fell back to his thighs, her teeth had wrapped around the thick black cords, tugging uncomfortably.

Pivoting to the right, and coming up on Azucar's right side, Gaucho lowered his bulky head to gouge her shoulder. Out of his peripheral vision, he sensed that she had reared-up. Idiot, he thought as his antlers slammed into her soft belly. Why would she take his attack to such a vital and unprotected area, rather than letting her shoulder take the brunt of his attack? As his antlers pressed into the soft flesh, he got his answer: she is trying to attack him using her front hooves. Foolish girl. Given the differences in their height, and the fact that Gaucho's antlers were turned towards her, placing his neck within her reach, but not his back, her hooves feebly scraped down the left side of his neck, causing a dull radius of pain to spiral out, but nothing significant. It was actually surprising that she had managed any attack at all, given that she had reared up to accept the full brunt of his blow to her belly - he would have thought given her youthful body vs. his full grown weight, that she would have gone flying.

Carried by his momentum, Gaucho thundered past, listening for Azucar's hooves on the slate. His left thigh was beginning to throb with a dull pulse, reacting to Sno's kick from earlier, and Azucar's bite to the same area. Training his ears back on the filly, he listened as he heard her echoes come from his right, and out of his peripheral vision, he spied her trying to catch up to him, charging up his right side. Once again, he reflected on her youthful stupidity. Was she blind? He was a fully grown, athletic creature, while she was some sort of ambiguous-mutt who was only a filly; she had no hope of catching him - but her ignorance did not stop there. Taking the hint from his sore thigh, Gaucho unfurled his massive black wings, already having enough speed to gain almost instantaneous lift. As his wings shot out, he felt her teeth snapping at his feathers, and grunted as a few remained in her mouth, as the beast lifted off from the ground. Gaining altitude, the bay drifted up and out of her reach, gliding effortlessly away from her. He watched as she continued to bite at the air, stabbing her horn at the shadows caused by the silvery moonlight that drifted down around them.

Gaucho could feel Mara's mind probing his, for Azucar stood precariously close to where she lurked under the slate. Gaucho forwarded the images of the filly flailing about below him, indicating that she was likely to be trampled given the youngsters rambunctiousness. Looking down upon Azucar, he imagined how easy it would be to descend upon her back, likely crumbling her young body under his weight. With a bite from Mara, she might never wake up, and could truly dance with the dead that she boasted of knowing...Arching gently, Gaucho landed with a hard thud, silhouetted by the moon. He snorted viciously in Azucar's direction, turning his upper lip up as he sneered at the lavender child. With lightning speed, a streak of gun-metal darted across the Basin floor. Mara wound her way up Gaucho's foreleg, slithering up his wither until finally wrapping herself around his antlers again.

Although he did not know that both Sno and Azucar were from the Basin, he did know that they seemed incredibly young, and inexperienced. If he ever saw either of them again, demanding a fight, he would break their bones for their ignorance.

Children.

[WC: 794. Closing Defence 1/1 Still using BULK and SWIFT.

Judge, please note that Gaucho was in a spar with Sno, that occurred within the 7-week un-penalized time period. The thread can be found here. Gaucho sustained the following injuries from that thread: Kick to his left thigh, and a small shallow cut on his left wing near the bottom. ]



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Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#10
Revised after feedback:



G a u c h o | A z u c a r
- - - - -
By my verdict Gaucho is the winner.
Gaucho has been awarded one VP.

Gaucho -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: Body-check into Azucar's left side.
+ 1| Attack: Bucking at Azucar's left thigh.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read

Azucar -- post 1

[Realism]
- 1| Defense: Azucar does nothing to block Gaucho's body-check, and is hit. There is no mention of how this affects her, simply that she widens her stance and catches herself. Also, considering their great height difference, it is doubtful that an unmatured yearling would be able to withstand the brunt of such an attack.
- 1| Attack: Stabbing horn at Gaucho and trying to bite his neck. By now, Gaucho would have passed Azucar, so I am unsure how this would have been plausible.
0| Injury: You mention that Gaucho's kick has landed, but it does not seem to affect her at all when she takes off after him. Youl describe pain, but you do not state how bad the injury is.
- 1| Attack: Biting for Gaucho's leg/rump. There is no mention of Azucar moving at all, nor what side she is attacking. It is also not wise to bite at a back leg that could very easily kick you in the face.
- 1| Attack: Aiming hoof at Gaucho's left side. There is little detail on how exactly this is done, and considering their height difference, does not seem possible.
+ 1| Attack: Jabbing horn at Gaucho's side or wing.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
0| Easy Read: I had a difficult time interpreting some of your attacks, otherwise I would have given the point.

Gaucho -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Cut to left flank.
+ 1| Injury: Bite to thigh.
+ 1| Injury: Stab to wing.
+ 1| Attack: Mara jumping to Azucar and attempting to bite her neck.
+ 1| Attack: Kicking out for Azucar.


[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read

Azucar -- post 2

[Realism]
- 2| Powerplay: "My teeth grabbed hold of flesh, but I couldn't bite any farther down." Gaucho clearly dodged this attack, so you are giving your opponent an injury they did not receive.
- 1| Attack: Attempting to jab horn at Gaucho's side after biting his thigh. This is before Azucar takes off after him, so I do not see how this could work. You also seem to have tried to go back in time with this attack, having not mentioned it in your previous post, and it is unfair to do so.
+ 1| Defense: Rearing up when Mara lands on Azucar.
0| Injury: You say that Gaucho's kick scrapes Azucar's back, yet then you proclaim that he has missed. Which is it?
- 1| Dropped Attack: You didn't mention whether or not Mara's bite was successful.
- 1| Attack: Trying to stab at Gaucho when he is already long gone. Azucar has been standing for quite a while dealing with Mara, and takes the time to try and trample her. Again, I do not see how this is possible until she catches up with him.
+ 1| Attack: Stabbing for Gaucho's neck or ribs.
+ 1| Attack: Biting for shoulder
+ 1| Attack: Trying to knock hoof into the back of Gaucho's front leg.
+ 1| Attack: Attempting to hit Gaucho with front hooves while rearing.
0| Attack: Trying to trample Mara. You are assuming that Mara has come off of her horn to begin with.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read

Gaucho -- post 3

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Mara winding tighter to avoid injury.
+ 1| Defnese: Mara slithering away from the stomping.
+ 1| Experience: Recalling a past spar with Valentine.
+ 1| Defense: Having bear appear in front of Azucar as she gets closer.
0| Defense: Spinning around to face the other way. I would have given you the point, but thought this would be difficult to do given the terrain.
- 1| Injury: Horn nicking shoulder. You do not mention pain or a lack of, and I can more or less see this attack hitting his flank of hindquarters more than his shoulder, considering he kick out at her jaw a moment later.
+ 1| Attack: Bucking at Azucar as she attempts to bite him.
- 1| Dropped Attack: There is no mention as to whether or not Azucar's rearing attack lands or misses him.
+ 1| Attack: Aiming antlers at Azucar's shoulder.
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: "Continuing to pivot to the right, now somewhere behind the filly on her right." Assuming Azucar's position, which she could have changed by now.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read

Azucar -- post 3

[Realism]
- 1| Injury: Azucar passes through the spirit bear without consequence. In the records, is says that if one touches the spirit animal at all, it causes a chill and numbing for 15 seconds.
- 2| Powerplay: "I feel the stallions' legs as he rears up, swinging them about for a moment." You mention Gaucho rearing up, but... he never did. You are assuming he is trying to attack when he is not, so I have to count this as powerplay.
- 1| Injury: Kick to the chest. As a much larger and more physically mature opponent, I think Gaucho's kick would have done more than wind someone for a few moments.
+ 1| Attack: Biting for Gaucho's leg.
- 1| Defense: Again, Azucar seems to have gone from a gallop to suddenly rearing up. No matter the terrain, this cannot be done without slowing first.
0| Injury: Rearing up and taking the antlers to her stomach. The action of rearing would put Azucar in a very unbalanced position, which is not the best of ideas when a much larger opponent is charging at you.
+ 1| Attack: Striking out at Gaucho's back while rearing.
0| Attack: No mention of where her bites are aimed at, or exactly how many times.
+ 1| Attack: Jabbing horn for Gaucho's cheek.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
- 1| Easy Read; I had a hard time getting through this post due to the lack of mentioning when Azucar would stop, and then continue running. I found myself having to read back over it several times.

Gaucho -- post 4 (defense only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Taking the rearing to the neck instead of the back.
+ 1| Defense: Taking to the sky to to avoid Azucar's attacks.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read




Gaucho

[Bonus]
+ 2| Breed: You constantly mentioned Gaucho's height and weight difference, and did it well. You also mentioned how Azucar's smaller size would make her more agile.
+ 1| Health
- 1| Penalty: Posting within one week of a previous spar. You accounted for the injuries, so this is a minimal penalty.

[Injuries]
Nothing to note.

[Creativity]
Nothing to note.

Comments: You seem to have a good grasp on the mechanics of fighting, and have a good connection with Gaucho and his fighting style. The only thing I would like to suggest is working on mentioning the terrain more often and how they affect your moves, but other than that, I think you did well in this fight. Keep it up!

Azucar

[Bonus]
+ 2| Surroundings: Mentioning running on the ice was difficult, and mention it while trying to fight Mara.

[Injuries]
Nothing to note.

[Creativity]
Nothing to note.

Comments: I think that with Azucar, you really need to focus on how physically immature she is. At a year old, her bones are still developing, and she would not be able to withstand being rammed into by a full grown, 17.2hh stallion. You did well writing out her personality and emotion, especially with her love for blood. In the future, I would try and be more clear on exactly where you are aiming your attacks, instead of saying "neck or shoulder." You had some great ideas for attacks, but you also need to remember to mention your character stopping and moving, even if it is very minute movement. Just keep working at it, and I think you could become a great fighter!

TOTAL
Gaucho - 76
Azucar - 53

Image Credit: dirkjankraan @ Flickr


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