|
T o r | X a n t h o s
- - - - -
By my verdict XANTHOS is the winner.
TOR -- post 1 (attack only)
[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: rear
+ 1| Attack: bite
[Prose]
+ 2| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
XANTHOS -- post 1
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: rears also
+ 1| Defense: takes the bite – although her teeth cannot really cause blood to squirt out.
+ 1| Attack: horn
[Prose]
+ 2| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
TOR -- post 2
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: horn clip – although he never pointed his horn at your neck when rearing, by her biting his ear I could see it happening.
- 1| Defense: hoof scrape – his hooves however, were unnecessary damage when he did not attack with them.
- 1| Defense: biting horn – if he is rushing at her she would have a hard time angling herself just right, much less gripping a smooth, moving horn with her teeth which aren’t meant for much but grinding grass.
- 1| Attack: horn flip – she would not have the power to flip him over by his horn assuming she could bite it. Horses are very balanced and with a lower center of gravity. Watching deer rut you can also see how much they can take having antlers locked without flipping over.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
XANTHOS -- post 2
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: jerked by horn
+ 1| Attack: cut with horn
+ 1| Attack: kick
[Prose]
+ 2| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
TOR -- post 3
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: cut in mouth
- 1| Defense: kicked in ribs – a bad spot to be kicked and you seemed to brush off the damage.
- 1| Injury: rib kick - you didn’t explain the injury at all
+ 1| Attack: biting rump – you just said how painful her mouth is and how it would hurt to use it, I’m not sure why you chose to use it here so soon after the injury and saying that, I could see it as a reflex more than anything.
0| Attack: biting withers – still confused why using mouth attacks right now.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
XANTHOS -- post 3
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: bite to rump
+ 1| Defense: slam
+ 1| Attack: slam
+ 1| Injury: neck twinge
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
TOR -- post 4
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: stumbled
- 1| Power Play: “But despite his full-body check, her bite was successful.” Xanthos did not say her bite succeeded in his last post, as he was using the slam to deflect it, nor did he say the slam’s success or failure would mean success of your bite.
+ 1| Attack: tail bite
+ 1| Attack: kick
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
XANTHOS -- post 4
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: bite to tail
+ 1| Defense: hip kicked
+ 1| Attack: rear at spine
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
TOR -- post 5 (defense only)
[Realism]
- 1| Defense: evade – this was a close succession attack so unlikely she’d completely avoid and it was confusing as to whether you even mentioned it or not.
TOR
[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed
+ 1| Surroundings
[Injuries]
0| Mouth injury – unless she had been stabbed in her throat or gums, it wouldn’t be as bloody or painful as you say; the kick to her ribcage would have hurt more for instance. You describe it as piercing her cheek, which is not as vital or sensitive.
[Creativity]
+ 1| Grabbing a horn is an interesting tactic.
+ 1| I also enjoyed you grabbing for his tail, it was humorous, although that is a good way to get your head kicked!
Comments: I definitely saw a big improvement in this fight over some previous one’s you’ve had. You did very well with playing more on your emotions and getting me more attached to the character, I loved her moral dilemma with the fight, although sometimes it seemed your emotions and back story was distracting as you included it so much. I would like to see more focus on the fighting portion, such as describing more about not just what the scenery is, but how it affects you as you fight (i.e. slipping in snow) along with more focus on describing your injuries and remembering how they will affect you the rest of the fight. You have a good grasp on the choices of defense and attack, but sometimes your attack choices, though mostly plausible, were not always ideal for the situation or came with pain for your character as well. Maybe research the normal ways horses fight a bit more to understand more of the physics before trying to get too crazy with some attacks. Overall though you did very well and I definitely see a marked improvement.
XANTHOS
[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed
+ 2| Surroundings
+ 1| Health
[Injuries]
None.
[Creativity]
+ 1| I very much enjoyed the way you described the internal struggle happening with Xanthos.
Comments: This was excellent for your first fight. You showed an incredible skill with describing injuries and remembering to play upon them later in the fight, as well as using your surroundings and breed differences – these are normally things people don’t touch upon as well as you did until they are decently experienced. You definitely had a great grasp for fighting mechanics, showing you understood positioning and timing well, although there were some scenarios you didn’t utilize to your full potential of attack (Tor put herself in some dangerous situations to attack you that you could have easily used, like kicking her head when she bit your tail, which also would have been a natural response) or defense (you took almost every hit). You played very well on the emotions, I felt very understanding of why Xanthos did everything and his moral issues with the fit might it entertaining to read. Just keep doing what you’re doing!
TOTAL
TOR - 68
XANTHOS - 72
|
.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
⇒
(JUDGE) price to pay [xan, challenge]
