Chernobyl

Yellowed grasses rose up along the path, up an over a small dip and kept running until the trees shaded its destination away from view. The simplicity of the sight put her heart to ease at the thought that no matter where she went, there was always another direction that could lead her away from where she’d been. Though, today she was satisfied with merely standing in one place, deliberating life as it stood on the seams of everything she knew. Part of her longed solely to rid herself of the past and move forward, but no matter how hard she tried to forget, remembering was altogether an easier process. It was simpler to review and consult something already established over trying desperately to create something new. However, life only seemed to be about creating and not so much about dwelling on prior situations, no matter the pain and suffering that may or may not exist there. But it seemed, as of late, that everyone had some tale of woeful sorrow and while Chernobyl was no different, she would be the last to share her story with just anyone.

The Basin was certainly a place that she could call home now, though she’d done nothing in the way of formally introducing herself to really anyone except Myrddin, the Basin’s only Haruspex. He was a kind soul, if wise, but the only thing that made Chernobyl feel at ease in his presence was his lack of sight. If he could not see into her eyes, he would find nothing incriminating in herself. She assumed that solely because he was unseeing that he might actually be able to see her instead of judging her for the stains she wore upon her back. However figuratively she adorned them, they still seemed to lay claim to a small part of her soul that ached for the loss of her mother, even in spite of her incestuous sickness.

But this was neither the time nor the place to think of such things and she abandoned her reverie in favor of studying a small bird that fluttered through the treetops. It chirped happily in a singsong tune that cut through the silence that had formerly overwhelmed the darkened forest. It was a strange thing to hear in the midst of the quiet, but it was a constant reminder that the heat of summer was on its way.

How she would miss the cold of winter.

For a time she stayed, gazing at the bird and how easily it moved through the branches above. A sort of envy rose within her at how effortless and thoughtless it was to be such a simple creature. Would she feel the same about life if she were but a mere fowl, as flighty and frivolous as they were? Would she hang around the treetops in the summer, looking down upon all the conflict of Helovia during the summer months before migrating south? It would be so simple, so carefree… and yet, that was not her labor and in fact, never would be.

It was fleeting imagination that brought her back to reality in a sudden rush, cool and reluctant, as her black eyes scoured the clearing. If she were looking for something, it was unnamed, though perhaps she searched anyways for answers that would never come, at least not from the towering oaks and scarcely covered shrubbery. The spring would bring new life to Helovia, but it certainly wouldn’t bring her any solace other than the passing of yet another year.

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away