the Rift


[JUDGED] Eat dust (Midas x Silk)
Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#1
I’d become much to absorbed in the politics of my family and life—it threatened to consume any light of happiness that appeared as a faint, distant memory. The instinct to battle was strong in the hearts of those that once carried a title of Soldier. We didn’t simply stop yearning to stretch our muscles because someone handed us a cushier lifestyle; I still trained daily with magic and the like. Though there was nothing like having a soldier thrust up against your body with teeth wide and earnest to land wounds.

Morning had dawned, the sun was climbing high over cold distant dunes. The rays caught everything they touched on fire, I stood by, somewhere between the ocean and oasis. Just watching the sun open her beautiful eye, and the moon dim further until she was nearly out of sight. Aye, the bride of our patron god was awe-inspiring.

Fina fluttered down from her flight overhead, landing across the dirt and peering up at me with intelligent eyes. I shared a smile with my beloved companion before shifting gaze toward the oasis. Silently hoping someone would rise and visit these training grounds. It had become a concern of late that our family wasn’t training nearly as much as they needed to be; there were no stronger bonds than those formed from the clash of steel and ivory. I’d come to understand this at an early age, though our greenhorn arrivals barely seemed eager to greet the sun each new morning. So few had entered a rank.

Setting: Morning. Clear sky, warming up.
No magic.
No companions.
Word count: 256
Attack (0,3)
Hybrid dice system

[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Satanic Silk Posts: 153
Hidden Account atk: 4.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 6.0
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17hh :: 5 (Tallsun) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
#2

The air was cold in my nostrils, in his lungs. The sun was rising, and he sometimes closed my eyes to shade my retinas from the brightness that was not hidden by clouds. The sun was strong, but it was not awake enough yet to warm the air high up above the clouds where the air was thin. From flying around up high, Silk's lungs had adjusted to thinner air, and his heart had grown bigger and pumped harder to keep the oxygen flowing through his body and to his brain. Whenever he was at lower altitude, he felt alive and empowered by the increased oxygen flow. Now as he flew above the clouds, he glanced down, and found a familiar face below.

Midas, his king, was below in the sand. He seemed to be pacing back and forth, and Silk noted the surroundings. It seemed these were a sort of training grounds. He had not been to the battlefields of Helovia yet. So Midas was looking for a fight, was he? Silk stopped moving forward and hovered in the same spot in the sky. He wondered briefly - what sort of karma, or general bad decision, was there in choosing to fight your king? He chuckled. Ask for a fight and ye shall receive! Silk dove, clouds whizzing past him as he returned toward the surface of the earth. He landed about ten yards from the painted king.

"Midas." He called out, his voice carrying easily on the clear morning air. He approached slowly, tucking his wings in loosely as he walked. "You look bored stiff, old man. Would you lower yourself to spar with a youngster such as myself?" He chuckled softly, his eyes alight with entertainment. He wondered if after the "lesson" in manners if Midas would be offended at being called an old man. Silk had no actual idea the age of the king, but he knew that he was young enough.

WC: 326
Attacks: 0/3 [intro post]
Satanic Silk
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Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#3

It had been a hunch, but I knew one would arise. Craving battle, craving the sweaty stench of flesh and the stale copper taste of blood as their morning mediation. My right forelimb slapped against earth impatiently, scattering dust in the dry Orangemoon air. The ground was soft and forgiving, yet solid enough by the presence of hundreds who had danced before. Today’s opponent came from the sky, his wings dark and leathery. Fina shifted her gaze rather sharply in his direction—we both knew who was coming before his hazy shape had full formed. Satanic Silk. She hissed hatefully and took wing, “I help this time?” I smiled a little, so quick was my brave little flame to assume that everyone who flew overhead wanted to brawl. “Nay.”

But her instincts were correct on this one, he landed a short distance away. Scattering the sand and calling my name, absent fluffy title. “Satanic Silk,“I replied in turn, a smirk that mimicked his own slithered across my maw. When he jested upon my age I grinned wider and shuffled right a few steps; dancing upon the ground as if weightless and thrusting crown toward breast in a Soldiers salute. “Yar, brother.”

"Let’s see how much this old fellow can teach,” I thought evenly. Fina held back, not exactly content on just watching.

I only used my full power against enemies of our family. It was dangerous to use this full force against brethren—no matter how much I yearned to feel the sweet slide of power grasping the rod of earth and shaking its core. Shuttering my opponent’s stance and confidence. Nay, there was no point in harming the bodies that protected our haven.

For a breath I stood by, observing his physical offerings with unyielding eyes. The towering warmblood wasn’t uncommon to those I’d fought before, height had advantage in strength. Years of training and agility would hopefully meet those bonuses headon, I learned from Africa’s unyielding limbs that to receive a sharp kick in the ribs from a taller partner wasn’t only shocking but nearly overcoming.

My wings slithered tightly against my barrel, though they are eager to stride apart I held back. Battles weren’t always fought in the sky….

Patched quarters bunch up and forelimbs rise to extend my stride as I leap into a canter. My stride carries me forward, each stocky step slightly digging up earth. I swung right, pretending to start passing his left side but instead planting golden daggers into the ground rather suddenly in an aim for an unexpected surprise once the distance had been closed. Coiled neck pulled away from breast and the cool steel around my shoulders, lips slipped apart to reveal ivories. Like a snake I slithered out to strike at his neck or chest, body weight that had been sat back used the momentum to carry me into a half rear with forelimbs flailing wildly to blunt strike his knees or forearms.

Word count: 256
Attack (1,3)

[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Satanic Silk Posts: 153
Hidden Account atk: 4.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 6.0
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17hh :: 5 (Tallsun) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
#4

The King offered few words in return to Silk's provocation, but it was enough for him to know that the King found Silk's words amusing, rather than offensive. Well, that's good. Silk did not have as much experience battle as he pretended. But often his build made up for what he had in the true battle know-how. Not that he was to be underestimated, however. His teeth were sharp, talons of his wings ready to slash. His pistons were powerful and his wings strong and agile. Of course, the stallion he faced off against also had wings, and had a lifetime of knowledge that Silk had simply not been alive long enough to have gained. Midas did not waste any time after addressing Silk, and soon the painted beast was upon him.

The King's attack was straightforward and to the point. Though he feinted right, there was little deception, and Silk had a good idea of what was coming. Ivories coming for his throat, the beast before him lifting up off the ground in a half-rear. Silk took a step back, trying to avoid the teeth of his opponent, but he was a moment too slow and they scraped across his skin, tearing flesh and leaving blood flowing in the wake. It was a sharp pain and he whinnied loudly in complaint. Teeth bared, ears pinned back, blood trickling down the hairs of his neck. Silk's wings flung outward, and he flapped them once, propelling himself slightly backwards and away from the beast. Pistons lifting up into the air, rising higher and higher, back on his haunches, then hooves flying toward Midas. Aiming for a nice kick to the skull, or his chest if the stallion extended to a full rear. Straightforward and to the point, why not.

He falls and backs away a few steps, his wings pumping gently to keep him light on the ground, and he snorts, lowering his head for only a second before raising it high again, eyes wide in preparation for the next attack. Would it be a feint? Straightforward? High up, or low down? Teeth or hooves? He was ready for the King and he let out another shrill whinny. Bring it.


WC: 369
Attacks: 1/3
Satanic Silk
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Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#5
It was true that size can be a boon. Just as it was also true that it could be a warrior’s greatest downfall, thus is a law known by most who had stood against those of bulker stature. I could only pray each time I slipped crown into the jaws of yon beast that my speed would hopefully make up for the difference of length and strength—given the chance my opponent could outmatch each beat by volume. My strikes were meant to be quick, painfully given in lessons of speed and agility—the trick was to be faster, smarter.

My first attack struck fairly enough, rousing his anger to the point of fury and nicking his dark flesh effectively. Though I only drew the smallest amounts of first blood to mat against his soft fur; there was little more than a few rapid heartbeats to pass—everything seemed to be soaring at top speed whenever it came to battle. Action, reaction. His wings slither apart and my eyes widened in undiluted surprise as their full length was realized; they struck the air cleanly in obvious show of rising irritant. He would attempt to swat me aside as a foolish dragonfly, though the boy would have to move quicker.

Anger was a tool, one of which I used against his tendency as he shifts up in a powerful display that gave me ample time to slide back on all fours, having only halfway risen before and in a position to keep on soaring past his flailing limbs (considering how much taller the stud was). His show of intimidation was like water on my wings, it slide off and instead of meeting his anger I find myself growing calm, even while the storm of him is ragging around.

With mere seconds to react my limbs flexed into action without a spare thought and I sail far right, trailing his left side and altogether avoiding those dangerous leathery appendages by a mixture of ducking and constant movement. Forelimbs lock and once again my golden tips dig into the warming granules, this time with my rear facing his left side. It was my hope that his flanks and barrel were still vulnerably exposed, warmed shoulders bunch up and head thrusts down as I pull my body into a kick powerful kick that sends up a swath of sand with hopes of disruption in both vision and accuracy should he try to turn those crimson pools toward me. The aim is for his left side to either upset Satantic Silks standing rear and send the lad failing toward the ground, or achieve a bruising on a few of his ribs and perhaps a wing should the vicinity be close enough for the strike.

Word count: 459
Attack (2,3)

[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Satanic Silk Posts: 153
Hidden Account atk: 4.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 6.0
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17hh :: 5 (Tallsun) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
#6

The battle was going ill for the stallion who called himself Satanic Silk. He was not new to battles, but it was clear that the expertise of the lead stallion of Dragon's Throat was more than he was really able to handle. It was disconcerting, annoying, and undermined Silk's confidence in himself. Though he would certainly not surrender to the mighty King, he had a feeling this would be a loss. There would be no scratch in the bed post to mark a new victory. Both of Midas's had hit now. A gash on his neck, the blood still trickling down, matting the winter hairs there. It stung, and sharpened the dark brute's focus. Adrenaline coursed through his body, the hormones helping him push past pain and focus on the current matters. Those current matters? The even larger gash that was now on Silk's left side. He cried out in pain as Midas's hooves met with his flesh. Though generally well-balanced, Silk felt himself move off-kilter, side-stepping with the effort of the blow. The quick movement of the brutes caused a bigger gash than if they were standing still, and what showed was at least eight inches long, and bright red against his dark skin. It would most definitely bruise, and surely scar. The bat-winged beast huffed and grunted, trying to think through the pain. The wound would slow him down, and his breathing would be pained and difficult with the bruised rib. He hoped there were no cracked bones, but even if there weren't, he was certainly at a disadvantage, if he wasn't from the very beginning.

With a squeal he turned on his haunches, pain radiating through his body, and used one large wing to swoop down, catching the sand below the two brutes, and tossed it up in King's face. The momentum of the wing would hopefully knock the King, and then Silk leaned forward, ivories extended and bloodthirsty with his lips curled back, ears pinned against his skull. His orbs burned bright. He aimed to get a mouthful of wing or side, if possible. He wished in that moment that he had fangs, to latch onto the king's side. But as it was, his ivories were as ready as his mind to scrape for flesh.


WC: 379
Attack: (2,3)
Satanic Silk
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Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#7
Eventually, if you close your eyes real tight and thrash around like a bumbling giant; you’ll hit something! Same goes for if you get pissed off enough…even a child could land a strike when thrust up against unforgiving earth over and over. Even still, lady luck granted me her favor and my hindhooves collide strongly but bluntly against his towering warm fleshy barrel. The weight of my strike, and the effort it took to raise such a blow wasn’t cheap in the energy department. But it was well worth the measure to hear Satan gasp and his flesh surrender back under the stern whip of each golden foot. Breath came in short rasps as I slide down; sweat began to pool in the wake of our warming day from under the tender most portions of my body.

Yet unmarked, my joy of this superb gain overtook reasonable tactics for merely a second, and I glanced back to see the damage and hopefully his surrender. The beginnings of a smirk had already begun crumbling the frown when he very nearly roared at me. Shrieking his wounded pride, those large crimson eyes glinting for blood, my blood. The precious moments I’d taken to turn around were suddenly overspent and I would be forced to eat their difference. His nearest leather limb thrust toward the compact earth beneath us, granules came flying toward my face before a single breath could be drawn into breast.

Crown jerked forward as heavy clay laced particles obscured my vision, patch work limbs shifted ahead to pull myself away from his pissed off self. I could have summoned a sand storm to match his game of sand toss—but nay, I’d let him have this victory. It wasn’t half a moment later while I was trying to gain pace away that his hot breath sank into my flesh from behind, that dripping, almost searing warm was right before healthy ivories locked onto my right cheek. The pain served as a reminder to never let my guard drop, it sharpened the mind and cut through the idea that he was yet done.

Squealing I pulled up and thrust my wings out from either side. Meanwhile my body shifted toward the east as best I could. With an aim to put myself facing the rising sun, in hopes that it might obscure his sight just long enough for me to plan a counter attack. I’d not have to plan for long because when something was biting your butt, what does one do? Well, my shoulders crunched against earth, neck fell toward chest and hindquarters flexed. Ivory tendrils lashed against my flanks, hoping to bat against his head. Hindfeet kicked from the ground in a half strike, aiming to thrust against his chest or neck. Powerful feathered wings rose higher, beating strongly to thrust against the loosened sand and send a volley of granules in its wake.

My head rose swiftly as I started to climb toward high sun, hindlimbs falling back gracelessly and forelimbs scrambling to gain a sky that gapped overhead. Orbs squinted painfully against its powerful glint, but happily because I knew that even if Silk had taken a chunk from my rear, he’d still be forced to submit to the almighty aurora.

Word count: 545
Attack (3,3)

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Satanic Silk Posts: 153
Hidden Account atk: 4.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 6.0
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17hh :: 5 (Tallsun) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
#8

Blood filling his mouth, staining those ivories a ruby red. Oh it was so metallic and tasted so good. He drank as much as time would allow, his teeth deep in the flesh of his king. To hell with order, with ranks, with elders and wisdom. This was the heat of battle, the moments when the heart pounded the blood quickened the muscles strained. Silk was losing this battle but his fight was not gone. The ache in his muscles the blood running down his neck and over his side only increased his desire to battle, to win. Of course, these were all the things going on in his mind, in his heart and soul. The reality was that his body was taking a beating. But his confidence was boosted by his successful attack, and the sand in Midas's face, Silk's teeth in the king's flank - it was enough to keep the bat-winged brute going.

The painted pegasus's squeal pierced the air and hurt Silk's ears. Wings were outspread, and a tail was flying against Silk's face. He squealed himself and let go of the flesh between his teeth, the sting against his cheek painful and hurting his eyes. The red liquid of the painted one dripped from his teeth, over his velvets coated the skin of his muzzle. It shouldn't have tasted so good to an herbivore, but it did. The king was smart, not only had he gotten Silk to back off, but now he was using the sun to his advantage. Silk let out a demonic hiss as the sun shone in his eyes. He took a step back, snarling at the opposition. Midas took a leaf from Silk's playbook, and kicked up sand toward his face. The powerful gold-tipped wings brushed the sand into his face, and Silk cried out with the sting. While blinded, the king's hooves slammed into Silk's chest, and he found himself winded, gasping for air as he staggered back. The ribs weren't broken, but his chest was bruised and now from two different sides it hurt to breathe. He couldn't give up now. One more attack.. just one more. He could manage that couldn't he?

But the king had taken advantage of Silk's slow response time, and was moving now into the air, above him. Silk could barely see, his vision blinded by the sun. But Silk was lucky - Midas provided a small block of where the sun's rays came down. Silk could see just enough to make an aim. Poor, perhaps, but an aim none the less. He launched forward with his remaining strength, still struggling to breathe properly, and widened his jaw, aiming to bite at the king's dangling hind legs. His own wings propelled him forward, helping to lift the weakened body up and toward the other, claws on his wings clawing at whatever flesh they could reach. If he could only bite the cannon, tear something, bruise something.

He wasn't sure if he made contact, but he couldn't wait any longer. His wings flapped again, lowering his body to the ground, and his legs barely supported his weight as he trotted a few steps away, trying to move away from the opponent. He gasped for air, his nares straining as he wheezed.

WC: 545
Attack: (2,3)
OOC: Wasn't 100% sure where Midas was, but I thought he had moved into the air. Attacked as best I understood Midas's location.

Satanic Silk
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Satanic Silk Posts: 153
Hidden Account atk: 4.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 6.0
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17hh :: 5 (Tallsun) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
#9
[Sorry, meant attack 3 of 3]
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Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#10
That bat winged body was completely behind me now, I couldn’t see him very well over the dust and angle; but it was surely felt when golden hooves slide squarely into rigid chest. A move that I’d kept blunt enough to not cause real lasting damage, but powerful in its bite to make my wrathful partner doubly pissed off. I could hear the rush of his breath escape like curse from bruised lungs, the sound was a sweet symphony to my ears and further announced a coming victory. The hit had sent him sliding back and gave me enough time to claw at heaven and escape damage.

Wings pumped quickly, neck extended toward the cloudless atmosphere which hung overhead with the promise of safety. I never felt the wraith of his ivories against my hindfeet, they had long since been tucked and were well out of harm’s way. My head drifted at an angle to regard his retreating stance once it became apparent that Silk wasn’t in hot pursuit, mouth gapped slightly apart with quick breaths sliding forth. Sun dipped feathers shifted until my direction spun me in a tight circle overhead, he appeared finished in every aspect of the word. The heated blood of excitement rushing through my head slowly but steadily eased its rapid pace into a dull roar, above I called out to him, “Are ye done for the day?”

Obviously by his heaving and hoeing, yon answer would be aye. The singing cry of my bruised rear was a firm reminder that the fray wasn’t over till both parties agreed. Truth be told, I was still ramped up for more of a beating.

OOC: 277

Closing defense
Word count:

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Official Posts: 847
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Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#11

By my verdict: MIDAS is the winner!

Satanic Silk
Realism [-1]
:: It seemed to me that Midas was specifically trying to be deceptive in his first attack, but Silk seemed to know exactly what was coming. I definitely think there should have been some factor of surprise here- and it would have been a really great chance for you to provide some emotion.
:: I don't think the damage taken in the first post was entirely appropriate. The level of damaged seemed a little too low for the roll, and horse's teeth don't usually cause bleeding. They're more blunted and are quicker to cause bruising.
:: Dropped attack- I didn't see any mention of Midas' attempt to kick at Silk with his half-rear in the first post.
:: Adrenaline coursed through his body, the hormones helping him push past pain and focus on the current matters. Be cautious when using adrenaline as an excuse for pushing past pain, there are much better explanations for ignoring pain- many of them mental. This would have been another great place to include some emotion.
:: Powerplay- and used one large wing to swoop down, catching the sand below the two brutes, and tossed it up in King's face. You can only try to toss it up in the king's face, especially since Midas should have more-or-less been facing away from Silk at this point.
:: Blood filling his mouth, staining those ivories a ruby red. There was no mention of bleeding in Midas' post that I found, simply that the bite had made contact and it was painful.
:: ...the king's hooves slammed into Silk's chest, and he found himself winded, gasping for air as he staggered back. The ribs weren't broken, but his chest was bruised ... This left me really confused about where Midas actually hit. From what I understood of their positioning, Midas should have hit Silk in the front of his body, between the two forelimbs, but there aren't any ribs there, so then I was thinking Midas hit him in the side, just behind one of the forelimbs, but that didn't make sense to me based on how they were lined up. Just make sure to be clear, one or two more words could have really cleared this up for me!


Emotion [-2]
:: I really never got a sense of emotion from Silk. There was one moment, in your last post, where you started to give me something, but most of the fight was very technical and all of your posts were very short. You have 800 words, make sure to use them to the max! Even if you don't make it to the full 800, you definitely had a lot more room to explain why Silk was fighting, how he was feeling, what was driving him to continue even though he was obviously losing, etc.


Prose [+3]
:: Silk did not have as much experience battle as he pretended. Missing 'in'
:: Both of Midas's had hit now. Missing 'attacks'
:: There was one instance of switching tenses between paragraphs in your first fight, but otherwise you remained consistent throughout.
:: Minor grammar mistakes throughout, but nothing too troubling to read.


Readability [+2]
:: There were a couple times I had to go back and re-read what you had written in the context of the fight, to confirm what was going on, but most of the fight was very readable.

Finally tally: 7 + 2 = 9HP

:: You have a good foundation for fighting but there are two things I would really encourage you to work on. The first is your realism score. You had a lot of good points during the fight, but a lot of mistakes really damaged your score. Make sure you're reading what your opponent writes and responding to every aspect of their post. Then, make sure you read your post several times through to make sure everything is clear and makes sense within the context of the fight. You may also consider reading through a few other fights where fights got high realism score, to help give some context on how much damage to take based on what number was rolled on the dice. The second thing I'd highly encourage you to do is work on infusing more emotion into your posts using the suggestions I gave above. Again, look at fights that got good emotion scores and read the posts if you need help understanding what sort of things we're looking for.

*******************************************

Midas
Realism [+4.5]
:: All of Midas' actions made strategic sense to me, more-or-less. I think, in the last post, there was some minor discrepancies between what he was thinking and what he was doing. He wanted to fight more, but he was flying away from a very injured opponent. In addition, I think that Midas probably would have needed several steps to even begin flying, instead of just taking off from a relative stand still, but overall I think that you did very well in realism. You did a great job translating damage rolls to actual damage.


Emotion [+1.5]
:: Eventually, if you close your eyes real tight and thrash around like a bumbling giant; you’ll hit something! Great! Very funny!
:: I love following Midas' thoughts throughout the thread in relation to what was going on. I enjoyed his simple, steady mind in battle and what I saw shows that you know him very well.


Prose [+4.5]
:: ...as I pull my body into a kick powerful kick that sends up a swath of sand One too many 'kick's!
:: I saw one or two other minor, minor grammar mistakes, but overall everything was incredibly clear and consistent. A very easy read, thank you!


Readability [+2.5]
:: ...almost searing warm was right before healthy ivories locked onto my right cheek. Maybe say butt cheek next time; this caused me a little bit of confusion and I had to flip back and forth between posts a couple times until I figured out what you meant.
:: Again, this was the only instance of confusion, everything looked great.

Finally tally: 42+13= 55HP

:: My comments have been sparse because there is really very little to work on. It's obvious you know Midas well and that he's very seasoned in battle. Most of the mistakes I found were very minor and removal of any of them would have led to full marks in most of the categories. The only thing I really thought could have helped improve the battle was working a little more emotion into Midas' posts. For instance, when he made the mistake of looking back and getting sand in his eyes, I think there could have been a little more going on there, but overall a very good fight. Thank you!


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