the Rift


[PRIVATE] !! Get Yourself Together

Rasta Posts: 305
Hidden Account atk: 7 | def: 10 | dam: 3
Mare :: Equine :: 14.1hh :: six (ages in Tallsun) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Ettore :: Red-Tailed Hawk :: None Abba
#1
There's something to be said about the loudness of the world when you are forced to listen. Each brush of wind has a new intensity to it. Each flickering echo of hooves as they gently clicked and clacked against the floor of the caves that we were all traversing in seemed to hold a desire for freedom. Each breath that was released into the air was met with tiny droplets of moisture clinging to the walls around them. Even know, I could hear the flickering of the harmless flames as they swept over my bodice, erupting from both my hooves and my locks. Today there were serving as a light for both Alleo and I as we decided to go onto a new adventure.

This time we were moving off toward the west, branching off from the main center where all of the herds had needed to stumble into originally. It was a different world. The underground was suffocating at times, but at others it was like a warm embrace - trying to protect us all from the stinging and combatant touches of the world above. Had it not been for the scarring memories of the caves that lingered in my cranium I cannot say that the idea of leaving would be completely registered in my brain. Yes, quite a few from the Throat seemed to be missing but I did not know them. And, since Sohalia had stumbled in I could only assume that Zohalia would be not too far behind. She was safe and that was all that mattered.

Gently, I allowed my frame to stumble into a delicate trot. Each hoof placed carefully against the rocks until my eyes lay upon the glowing etchings along the walls of the room that we had came upon. Too intrigued to continue to try and merge the vibrations with the sight I was given I allowed my eyes to try and focus upon everything that was around me. This, of course, was not a good choice. For, as I tried to place my hooves on a higher portion of rocks that almost descended down like stairs into the room itself, my hoof snagged the edge and the rest of my body weight followed. My tiny palomino frame was crumpled in a ball at the base of the rocks.

One snort to move the forelock out of my eyes, and I'm peering back up to where Alleo should have been with annoyance at my actions flickering in my pale orbs.


Alleo Posts: 115
Hidden Account atk: 5.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 4.5
Stallion :: Equine :: 17.3 :: 12 HP: 60 | Buff: NOVICE
ali
#2
alleo</style>
Below my soul
I feel an engine
Collapsing as it sees the pain
If I could only shut it out...
</style>


Alleo was quiet as he walked at Rasta's side, allowing the mare to lead him to wherever it was in the network of underground rooms that she wanted to explore. As the days, hours, minutes, and seconds dragged on he was beginning to become accustomed to living underground, but he still didn't like it. There were times when he felt suffocated in the sea of bodies and contemplated making a break for the outside world, but his duty and promise to Rasta kept him chained to the little mare's side.

His ears tilted forward as the tempo of her steps increased from a walk to a trot. He hung back, watching her and the flames that flickered and danced around her pale form as she moved ahead of him. It was really something to look at and he found that his steps had stopped and he was simply watching her, his eyes following the flames that rose from her hair and licked at the air. Had he not always been at her side and knew that the flames were harmless he would have probably tried to rush in like a fool and save her, more than likely by dunking her into water.

It happened so quickly that Alleo didn't have much time to react to Rasta stumbling and falling. "Rasta!" His head jerked up and he moved quickly toward her, but by the time he reached her she was a heap of legs and flickering flames. He saw her head come up and heard her snort and and he touched his muzzle to her cheek since she seemed to be looking for him. "Are you okay?" His muzzle began to travel the length of her body, touching and nudging as he felt for any broken bones. "Anything hurt?"

"."


Credits

Rasta Posts: 305
Hidden Account atk: 7 | def: 10 | dam: 3
Mare :: Equine :: 14.1hh :: six (ages in Tallsun) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Ettore :: Red-Tailed Hawk :: None Abba
#3
I suppose, had I been paying complete attention, I would have noticed the fact that Alleo had slowed down to a halt while I had continued to speed up. But, I didn't recognize it, and I didn't even gather the feeling that he was watching me. Some might have relished in the attention, and while I didn't necessarily despise it I also wasn't one who preferred to be gazed upon all the time. Physical interactions were generally short, for fear that a reaction might be violent and I had relied heavily upon my words in the years of my life.

It was a change now, to be forced to live with physical interactions. Deep inside me my heart was twisting and spinning trying to deal with the fear of a snap coming back at me for doing something wrong. But I'd lived long enough to know how to put on a front for that of society to think that I was fine. So, that wall was erected and I was trying to go about my own way. Besides, I had Alleo now, to assist in my protection as Apodis had said he would. At least... until Apodis had left. It was with the shake of my head with that thought that I shook the vibrations from my sight and concentrated purely on the images before me. And that mistake was what had me stumbling down into a heap at the bottom of teared rocks.

I should really start to figure out this depth perception thing... I grumbled to myself, snorting some of my flickering hair out of the way of my eyes as I lifted my head to peer up to where Alleo had been but moments prior. Alas, the sound of hooves had not been my own clicking against the rocks as I rolled down about a foot, it had been Alleo springing back toward my side. My name rings in my ears from the echos around the walls, and as I peer around for him I feel his maw pressed against my cheek. Delicately, I close my eyes and allow my head to bob to let him know that I was fine as I feel him begin to inspect the rest of my frame for broken bones. There are a few winces as he runs his maw across my scarred back and against my haunches from the rocks slamming into them, but no audible snort or gasp is emitted from my maw. Was anything hurt? No. I shake my head. I'll probably be bruised later, but he doesn't need to worry. I'm used to it. My body can handle it. This is much less severe than the beatings that my frame had taken over the years. I'm not worried, but the creasing lines in his face make me certain that he is. For what reason, I'm not sure. But it is definitely there that he is worried.

Mentally, I shrug off the creeping warmth that tries to cling to my heart and spread throughout me at the thought that he cares. I can't allow myself to accept that. I have no proof that he won't leave in a heartbeat given the right conditions. Such things had been proven to me times before and I couldn't allow myself to fully attach to something that could slip from my grasp like hair from between clenched teeth.

So, slowly, I wobble my way back onto my feet. I'm careful, trying to ensure that I don't knock my back in a way that would be detrimental to its sensitive state, but it only makes the process of standing that much more awkward. As I move I can feel a pull with each sway of my vertebrae and I can't help but to be inwardly concerned that I might have actually done something to it. It is only a few steps that I move to ensure that I don't get onto the rocky slope again, and then I am peering up at the drawings around us upon the cave walls.

It is one of a hawk that catches my eye, one that sends a tremor throughout my frame as I stare directly at it, unable to get myself to move. It seems to portray an image of its feathers falling off of its wings as it tries to escape something that is indecipherable to me. My heart is constricting, and what would have been me trying to get closer to it only has me stumbling backwards as I shake my head. No. No. No! I want to scream. Images of his feathers being plucked so he was defenseless were circling in my skull. My throat is tight and clenching, and the pain I had been trying to mask is definitely showing through. But, at this point, whether it's emotional or physical pain is another question.

I shouldn't have come here. I don't know why I'd felt pulled here. But, I just wanted him back. I wanted my hawk to fly around, mess with my hair, and then perch on my withers. I wanted those slaps to the face when I was being stupid. I wanted to be told that things would work out. Would I ever be able to get that again? Would I ever be able to feel like I wasn't completely alone, even when I was in a room full of people?

And I'm breaking down. The walls I'd put up shattering from the mere thought that I won't have that connection again if I fail - that I won't ever have a chance at feeling whole again. I wanted to crumble against someone, but I didn't know if my mind could deal with the touch without being afraid that I was going to be hit for being weak - for not looking like the leader I was supposed to be.

Were they going to try to break me again? When I was already broken?


Alleo Posts: 115
Hidden Account atk: 5.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 4.5
Stallion :: Equine :: 17.3 :: 12 HP: 60 | Buff: NOVICE
ali
#4
alleo</style>
Below my soul
I feel an engine
Collapsing as it sees the pain
If I could only shut it out...
</style>


As Rasta began to gather herself to try and get to her feet Alleo took a step back to give her room. His ears were strained forward listening for any strange pops or cracks her body might make as she stood because he didn't know if he believed her that everything was alright when he asked. He looked to her face and frowned because she seemed to be concerned with something, but he couldn't ask without having to play a game to figure it out. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, but she was already fixated on something else and when he turned he finally noticed the wall behind them.

Alleo stayed where he was, taking in the enormity of the wall while Rasta moved closer. Several seconds later his gaze fell to the pale mare who was staring at one portion of the wall. "Rasta?" She seemed lost in her own world so he moved closer and followed her gaze to the hawk on the wall. The stallion's ears fell back against his head because he knew she was thinking about the companion that she had lost. "Rasta." He said her name again, his muzzle bumping against her neck as he tried to get her attention because he could see that the fragile little mare was beginning to fall apart again.

He looked at the wall again then stepped in front of Rasta to try and block her view of the hawk with his body. "Get a hold of yourself." He murmured as he reached to brush his muzzle across her forehead. He wanted to say that it was just a picture, but he'd had experience with how emotional mares could be and decided against it. "Calm down." He said instead, his voice soothing and calm. "Relax."

"."


Credits

Rasta Posts: 305
Hidden Account atk: 7 | def: 10 | dam: 3
Mare :: Equine :: 14.1hh :: six (ages in Tallsun) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Ettore :: Red-Tailed Hawk :: None Abba
#5
Flames - they licked the walls
tenderly, they turned to dust all that I adore
As I clambered onto my feet in an awkward manner, trying to be careful with my back that I could feel bruising with every single movement. No, it wasn't even the muscles bruising. It was the bone, each little vertebrae that had been jarred just enough out of place was scratching its way back in. And, with those scratches they were bruising each other. I would be in pain for weeks, but I would never admit it. He asks again if I am okay and I nod my head, eyes meeting his gaze that was filled with anxiety for but a second before I fixate on the wall before me.

He doesn't move as my frame starts to move closer. I recognize my name as it falls from his lips, and had I the ability to speak I probably would have murmured a vague grunt of a response. Instead, my right audit only switched back toward where he was, listening the clipping of his hooves against the floor as he came in closer to me. Again, he repeated my name, and this time I could feel his muzzle bumping against my beck, shifting me just enough that my back is jarred from the soft touch, and I wince as I feel the bones scrape against each other.

Tears were officially falling down my face as I tried to blink away the image of him being killed and de-feathered. But that is not the only thing that is hindering my sight, because Alleo has stepped in front of me to block the hawk from my vision. He's gone... And I'm trembling now as the tears cease when I force them to in order to try and be somewhat stable, to not lose myself completely every time he is there. He tells me to get a hold of myself, and he brushes his muzzle against my forehead. Calm down. Relax. But the images wouldn't go away. I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to take in deep breaths, to try and rid the images from my mind.

My body was relaxed, at least, when my eyes finally opened again. But, my eyes were haunted as they looked back up toward Alleo. Gently, I bumped my maw against his shoulder in thanks, before starting off to explore the rest of the cave. Each of my steps was careful, and it almost looked like each of my legs was limping. If one could listen closely enough they might be able to hear the scraping of my back as the bones scraped against each other.

Slowly, I edged towards a darker corner. The closer I got the more I saw the glinting from the fire upon my hooves. A gem, on a thicker necklace. Some kind of amulet woven with horse hair into a necklace. I stood there, inspecting it for a moment with my head tilting to the side in confusion. But, it wasn't long until I was picking it up and moving it into the light in the middle of the room to inspect it.

What was this jewel doing hidden in the caves?

Mystified, just spinning 'round in circles
Drowning in the silent screaming with nothing left to say

Alleo Posts: 115
Hidden Account atk: 5.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 4.5
Stallion :: Equine :: 17.3 :: 12 HP: 60 | Buff: NOVICE
ali
#6
alleo</style>
Below my soul
I feel an engine
Collapsing as it sees the pain
If I could only shut it out...
</style>



He frowned when he saw the tears running down her face, his muzzle brushing over her eyes gently as he tried to wipe them away. He had never been around a mare who cried as much as Rasta had, but he was beginning to be less uncomfortable when she cried. He just wished she wouldn't because he wanted her to be happy. He wanted to scream at the Earth God for giving her a quest that seemed like it was constantly ripping her apart, but it would make her stronger, wouldn't it? His tail flicked as she squeezed her eyes shut and staunched the flow of tears.

Gradually her body began to relax and soon she was touching her maw to his shoulder. Alleo allowed his muzzle to brush against hers before she began to walk away, the frown remaining in place as he watched her walk. He couldn't help but feel apprehensive as she limped away to explore the cave. She may have said, in not so many words, that she was okay after the tumble, but Alleo didn't believe her and made a mental note that he would have to keep a closer eye on her.

Something caught her attention and his ears flicked forward as he watched her pick something up and move it. He could see it glinting and reflecting the firelight that surrounded the delicate little mare. Curiosity got the better of Alleo and he stepped toward her, his hooves clicking quietly against the stone floor. The stallion's 'brow' furrowed when he finally caught sight of the amulet. It had been quite a while since he had seen anything like it and found it strange that a trinket like it would be discarded in the cave.

"You should put it on." He finally suggested as his dual-colored eyes shifted to Rasta. "I would look good on you." His words trailed as he lapsed into silence, wondering why he had said what he had.


"."


Credits

Rasta Posts: 305
Hidden Account atk: 7 | def: 10 | dam: 3
Mare :: Equine :: 14.1hh :: six (ages in Tallsun) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Ettore :: Red-Tailed Hawk :: None Abba
#7
Flames - they licked the walls
tenderly, they turned to dust all that I adore
As I stood there with my face gaining trails of tears with eyes locked shut I felt his muzzle brush over my eyes. An attempt at getting the tears to leave my pelt, and it seemed to work at least.

It was a slow process to relaxation, but as it happened I allowed my maw to brush up against his shoulder. In that short moment his maw grazed against mine and I felt at peace. Not alone. Not completely alone. A weak smile came upon my face as I gingerly began to edge my way around the cave. There was still a frown upon his face as he stood there, watching me as I moved, and the peace that was in my heart was replaced with some kind of angst. He didn't need to be worrying about me. I wasn't that important. He should be happy and at peace too. But did I even give him that same peaceful feeling? Or was I simply a burden?

But that train of thought was rather quickly dispersed as I stumbled across a gem attached to a string of horse hair. I could feel the tension that flickered across his face. Confusion? Concern? Distrust? I couldn't tell. At least, I couldn't tell until the words slid from his mouth. He was telling me to put it on, his eyes locking on my gaze as I peered up at him. He said it would look good on me but I only shook my head. No.

First off, I highly doubted that it would actually look good on me should I dawn the gem. But, secondly, I had done nothing to deserve something so precious. He should have it - whatever it was. I grabbed it and began to shove it toward his face, giving a small snort. Take it. If I was tall enough, I would have tried to put it over his head by now, but I wasn't, and I knew there was no way that I could get it over if he tried to get away from it.

But I wanted him to have it...

I wasn't necessarily meant to be decorated - decoration made me easier to break...

Mystified, just spinning 'round in circles
Drowning in the silent screaming with nothing left to say

Alleo Posts: 115
Hidden Account atk: 5.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 4.5
Stallion :: Equine :: 17.3 :: 12 HP: 60 | Buff: NOVICE
ali
#8

Alleo blinked as Rasta began to shove the trinket in his face and fought the urge to step away from her. The look on her face spoke volumes of her intentions and she had no intention of keeping it for herself, which he thought she should. Hadn't she ever heard of finders keepers? Besides, wouldn't it look kind of girly on him? His tail twitched and finally he consented and lowered his head so she could slip it over his head. Once she had he lifted his head and shook his neck until the trinket had settled against his chest, twinkling and shining in the dim lighting.

It was strange being given something and not being expected to give something back in return. He didn't care for the feeling it left him with and he'd have to make sure to correct it before long.

"Thank you." The stallion murmured as he reached out to brush his muzzle against Rasta's cheek. He still thought that she should keep it and probably would for a while, but arguing with her was like arguing with a wall. In that aspect she reminded him of Lakota and it made a small smile curl the corners of his mouth. He stepped closer so he could hook his neck over hers and pull her as gently as he could against his chest in a sign of gratitude as well as protectiveness.

"."


Rasta Posts: 305
Hidden Account atk: 7 | def: 10 | dam: 3
Mare :: Equine :: 14.1hh :: six (ages in Tallsun) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Ettore :: Red-Tailed Hawk :: None Abba
#9
He seemed to just stare at me, thinking that I was insane for shoving it closer to him. But it wouldn't look good on me. It wouldn't look right. I wasn't meant for trinkets. I wasn't meant to be prettied. I wasn't meant for it. If I was adorned in more special things then I wouldn't be more capable of being broken. More of me could be shattered - more things could dig into me and break me up.

I wasn't meant to look pretty. I was meant to be dull and broken. I was meant to be that thing on the sidelines that few ever looked at. My flaws were meant to be pointed out because otherwise, how could someone love me. No. They had to see all my flaws, they had to be able to get past them if they could ever consider liking me enough to even be around me. After all, I was kinda like a plague - something that sickened others.

But, I tried to force those thoughts from my skull as he lowered his head and allowed me slip the necklace with the amulet over his cranium. And, once it was secured behind his ears he shook his neck so that it settled against his chest. A tiny smile spread across my lips as I saw it rest against his muscled chest and the two words slid from his mouth. His muzzle brushed against my cheek and my audits flicked forward, glad that he was accepting it. There was a small smile that curled the corners of his mouth as he stepped in closer to me and hooked his neck across mine. I allowed him to pull my frame up against his chest as tightly as he wished, my back pressing up against his shoulder and bearing just enough weight that I don't have to feel the odd decompression of weight as my spine seems to rest on two completely different levels sending random shocks of pain down my back.

Quietly, I peer up toward him and tilt my head to the side ever so slightly. Did he like it? Did he understand that I couldn't take it? That I couldn't allow myself to be carrying something that could hurt me even more? I was meant to be broken. I was meant to be that punching bag. I was meant to be wrong. I was meant to be the toy that couldn't be fixed. Having nice adornments meant that I wasn't - it would be a lie. Did he understand that?


Mystified, just spinning 'round in circles
Drowning in the silent screaming with nothing left to say


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