There was a new weight on this mare's shoulders as she began to move throughout the caves. She didn't want to be so scared. She wanted to understand what that strength Mirage had talked about was. But. Mirage wasn't here. She had left. Again. The pale mare was left alone. She was told she was strong enough to last and then she would be left. Picked up and dropped so many times. It was no wonder that she was so utterly shattered. Every inch of her body ached as she moved forward. Her heart was ripping. It was tearing and bleeding with each step that she took.

How could she be expected to be strong when everyone that she had simply... disappeared from her view? She didn't know how to be strong! All she knew was that the world was meant to eat her! That one misstep could mean death! That no matter what everyone was going to leave her! If they loved her they would fight and die for her! If she cared for them they would have to move on and she would lose them! And when she was at her most vulnerable she would push them away on accident when she needed them the most!

After all, where was Smoke? How was she supposed to be the Moon Doctor? Smoke was supposed to teach her, but she had been missing. Everything was becoming suffocating and that lurking image of sacrificing herself to let everyone else have a chance at a life. Did she even deserve what she was being given? Could she live up to Mirage's image? Could she ever get close to filling Smoke's shoes?

It was all too much for her. She was breaking where she stood, now. A room with drawings glowing across the walls and a beautiful carved fountain in the middle. But she can't bring herself to actually look at it. Her mind is drowning in the pain of knowing that no matter how hard she tries everyone will leave her. The mare doesn't even realize that she's inching closer to the pool of water, but as she sees eyes looking back at her tears finally begin to fall. What if they're dead? The rippling reflection is distorted, but most would have been able to recognize it as themselves had they been the ones peering into it. Res cannot even see herself in the water. It looks like it should be someone else. Someone else with a life that they're actually meant to live.

She's playing games she's too broken for. She's trying to be something she's not sure she has the strength for. But, she couldn't dare disappoint Mirage, not when all that might be left of her is her memory. She has to find a way to hold what is left of the family together. After all, should they lose their home, lose their magic and their gifts from the Moon Goddess they would be stronger together. They would have to be.

The uncertainties were breaking her. She didn't have the energy left. How was she supposed to be strong, to tell people they were safe when she had been tortured in these caves not long before. Kaj and Quil had killed him. But, it was still proof, in her mind, that the caves were not safe from all horrors. But the phoenix had said it was safe. Midas must think it was safe. She would have to stay. She'd have to find a way to put on a mask when she had never been able to before.

She feels like she's out of her body. Her legs are moving her towards a darker corner, the trembling unable to cease as she edges forwards into the darkness that she is so afraid of. Maybe it will swallow her whole. Maybe the pain will end. She doesn't know. She just knows that she doesn't have the strength to stand anymore. And as she chokes on her tears her body collapses in a heap in that corner. Her body is hidden. Her sides heaving as she weeps.

One day she'll lose Quil too. One day she'll be completely alone. One day she'll have to see everyone suffering when she can do nothing to help them. The images of twisted bodies and intestines spilling from opened chest cavities are filling her mind again in this dark corner. But there is no monster there to drag them from the recesses of her mind. Had she the strength to speak, to vocalize anything between her quiet sobs, she would be screaming for Quil. She would be screaming for someone to save him. She would be screaming that he had promised he wouldn't leave her. Because, as she squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears she could plainly see herself covered in his blood, curling up under his broken, twisted wing. She could feel her warmth pressing up his cold body. And she could feel her heart crumbling.

How was she to be strong enough to heal the herd when she couldn't heal her own mind?

There was so much uncertainty coursing through her veins. Everything was collapsing around on her. The mind was only as strong as one allowed it to be, to grow into, and she had never been raised to be strong. No. She had been raised as weak - as afraid, and it all was slowly killing her. She didn't know how she was supposed to be there for everyone when she couldn't be there for herself.

It was the sound of hooves that tore her mind away from the darkness that was reeling in her skull. The images of torture, of decay, and of her not being able to fix them. Stumbling and scratching, screams are jolting around the caverns and all that Res can do is curl up tighter and attempt to keep breathing. If she died... she died. The world would have been a better place without her - would it have not? She wouldn't have had the chance to ruin all these people's lives. She knew that much.

But it was the creature who stumbled into her, crying the word "mommy!" out into the air. The little one collapses, not far off from Res and as she lifts her head to peer at it she recognizes the spotted pelt of the girl before her now dragging herself in closer and closer to Resplendence's side. Instinct takes hold of the mare who had lost her twins - the twins of the same age as this youngin', one of which even had acted the same as her. Her head careens around the little one's side, gently tugging her in closer to her own barrel as she eyes the dragon that is pacing along Nayati's neck. "Shhhh. Shhh." She begins to whisper as she lips at the poll of the lil'un and allows her own breathing to calm down and even out. She had to be strong for the child. Ciro would have wanted her to be strong with Reka - so she would do the same for this one. "It's going to be okay, baby. It's going to be okay. I'll do all I can to make sure you don't get hurt..." she murmurs. A sweet melody sliding from her maw, one that she had sung to her own children what had only seemed like yesterday.

Tears. She can't see, she knows that. She doesn't care. It's like having her child back. And those memories of happy times are actually beginning to fall into her mind as she tries to massage the panic attack out of the girl's limbs. "Just concentrate on breathing. In and out. In... and out..." She continues to murmur as she works trying to give the little one something else to concentrate on - to try and stop the panic attack from clenching at her heart and making her pass out. The scent of blood bothers her nostrils, and Res knows she'll be getting herbs later. But, not right now. The panic attack is even more deadly than the wounds on her knees - she knows that. And she won't leave the little one to fend for herself.

For what was Resplendence if she was not selfless? Would Resplendence even exist?

It was a miracle this mare was even able to function. Her mind was almost detached from her body, torn, frayed, burning nerve endings sending messages across the synapses. It is a weak body, bones just strong enough to carry the weight of the muscle - yes - but not near strong enough to lug along this burden of these memories that were rooted so deeply in her soul. It was this body that could so easily succumb to sickness and horror and death that seemed to neglect every option that came to its doorstep. But how was it possible that her body was stronger than her mind itself? No. Perhaps it seemed that it only was making Resplendence hang on through all the mental anguish until it found a death suiting of the torture that she had suffered from every image that could flash before her eyes and every day that she had dared to breathe.

But it was this loss of connection that actually made her so completely and utterly connected. It was this ability to take on so much pain and anguish and keep moving that dared to give the word 'Resplendence' a true name and form. For, had she not been able to detach herself when the pain became too much, her mind would have left with her body and her soul oh so very long ago. It is these burning emotions that make this mare whole - and it is these burning emotions and tattered limbs that make Nayati only one word: "Perfect."

The spotted one is the embodiment of perfection. She is the last grips of a life that Res had lost in tremors of night and bloodied wounds and cries of pain and sadness. For all Res cared, this young one took on the soul of her young Rita when the wolves had mauled her, for she acted near the same. Both were as afraid of the world as Resplendence herself was and still is. If this little one needed anyone, she had no doubt that the need that radiated from her soul was also being screamed out from her own. There were holes that could never be filled - but that would be taken and pulled so tautly until it appeared to be covered with something, anything, else.

Sugared lyrics from a life far past - a life that Resplendence only remembered in vivid imagery of horrors and blood and death - came out from her mouth in an attempt to calm the young one. The blood on Nayati's legs only served to jar the memories from her deep subconscious of the wolves and her twins being mangled. She would not allow the same fate to befall this little one. She would jump in front of anything that dared to hurt her - she didn't care what it was or how scared she was. it would not happen under her watch.

Resplendence is nearly begging, pleading, praying that Nayati will be able to connect just long enough to listen and allow her breathing to calm down. And she did, rasping breaths falling into a sweet, swirling rhythm that Resplendence had allowed to crawl from her lips. But, the rattling of her breath as well as the bloodied wounds upon Nayati's legs do little to appease the mare who is hovering over her much to the resemblance of a mother hen. She will fix this baby. She will do all she can to make her better - to reconnect her mind and her body so that the burning emotions and intelligence lurking in her skull can fight together and she can be even better than she could have imagined. That is Resplendence's goal, and she will start today.

The blooming flowers would have jarred her much earlier, had it happened before she found the goal that only one with a tattered mind and tortured soul could actually create. It is a sea of flowers, and it is beautiful. It is the young one's voice that brings Res's orbs back down the young, frightened being pressed up against her side. "If you can stand, we can get out of here," Resplendence whispers, voice still singing in its sweet harmony of concern and care. "We can go into the light, and I can get some herbs to tend to your legs." There was a gentle pause as the figment of a mare presses her maw up against the young one's shoulder and gently massages into the weak bones that come from having to bear such a heavy past as their own. "If you cannot, I will not leave you - we will rest more until you gain your strength. It is you, my sweetest, that matters. It is you that can create beauty so easily. And these wounds are what make you perfect, my herbs will do little more than make you a bit stronger for the wear - it is your love that pulls you through." She whispers, delicate words but words directly from the heart of the burning emotions that were what made Res who she was. And it was these words that she would stand by until Nayati could see them on her own.