Everything about mortality has left me confused. It has been about a week since I fell, and my burns are appearing to be better. I’m finding that every time I drift off into sleep my mind is fills with chaotic visions and dreams. Most of them leave me waking up in a cold sweat. Last night’s dream was well… Let’s just say I never realized my mind was capable of conjuring up such promiscuous images. Instead of waking up in a cold sweat it was more like a sort of bliss, but even after I awoke there was this lingering feeling of… Heat? Is that the right word for it? I don’t even know, whatever it is it’s faded but I still have this wondering in the back of my mind. Ah, it doesn’t matter as long as it doesn’t come back.

I have taken a liking to this entire cavern. Something about this just radiates archaic, and the tiniest details can bring peace. Slowly I step toward the waters and lower myself in. They are cold but it feels good against my burns. As I gaze up at the light above me, my mind drifts back to the cave that once had been my home. The Father had always given the best to me and my brothers, so of course my lodging had been the best. Nothing would ever compare to that place and all the moments shared with the few I loved. Slowly I close my eyes and just relish the beautiful sound of the water. Droplets spray onto my face from the massive waterfall. Memories arise in my mind and I let myself get lost in them.

“Come on Lee, Are you really as boring as they say? It’s just water.”
“First off, my name isn’t Lee so don’t address me as such. Second off, I have far more important duties to attend to. As do you Samael, we don’t have time to idle about in a fountain.”
“You need to get the stick out of your ass.”
“You need to have a sense of responsibility and not act like a child.”
“No, I just have a sense of fun, you don’t.”
“Fun is a trivial thing."
“Fun is great and if you disagree you have issues.”
“It seems as though I have ‘issues’. Now get out of the pool Samael and let’s get something done.”
“Buzzkill.”

I realize that a smile has passed over my lips. Oh, Samael… Ever since I have become mortal I find myself thinking about him more and more. After all these years I thought I had been able to move on, but it appears my heart still bound to his, and as much as I would love to see that angel of death again, I am at the same time relieved. All I can see in my mind is him tempting me into the darkness that mortals so easily succumb to. Yet, a part of me wouldn’t mind giving myself over to wickedness if it meant being with him again. After these thoughts race through my mind I feel complete disgust at myself. How dare I so easily think of giving in! There are many questions yet to be answered and I know better than to give up so easily on my Father.

“Father…” I whisper, “I… No, I am not worthy of calling upon your name.” There is pain dripping from my voice and I let the sorrow show on my face for a mere second before I build my walls and jerk my head when I scent another. “Who’s there?” I call over the sound of the water.


@[Anayis]
"blah blah blah" Memories