the Rift


[OPEN] My Bad

Roskuld the Sparklight Posts: 424
World's Edge General atk: 7.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6
Mare :: Tribrid :: 15.3 :: 6 HP: 82 | Buff: ENDURE
Zchiraxicon :: Royal Rougarou :: Electric Smithers
#1

FUCK.
FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.


I didn’t know where I was supposed to go.

I didn’t know where to start looking, because the shitty sand was gone.

Our forest was gone.

The meadows had vanished.

She wasn’t at the stupid glass wall—she wasn’t where I left her.

Because I left her.

This joke hanging around me, this thing that was supposed to be funny but not funny at the same time—well, I’m done with it. It’s not a joke anymore. There’s nothing humorous about it—it’s not funny anymore, I’m done. I get it. I’ll stop. Maybe it was a joke when someone wasn’t at stake—maybe it was okay for me to fuck up, since no one got hurt in the process. I kept myself nameless. I kept my shittiness out the equation like it would change something, like it wouldn’t matter that I was shitty because no one was getting hurt by it and everyone could go about their merry fucking lives without a glance in my direction because it didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter.

And I can’t keep telling myself that because it’s isn’t true, it was never true but I didn’t know it and didn’t try to know it and look, now look, look what’s happening—the world is turning dark and everything’s starting to smell like hog-butts all over the place and shit’s going down and Jiji’s somewhere right in the middle of it, exactly where I left her, and I was tearing through the rapidly descending darkness as fast as I could, zap!ing myself whenever I had enough energy, branding as stitch in my side from all the running, bawling my eyes out and screaming at the top of my lungs out of the blinding fear and searing anger that was burning me up, mocking me, totally scorching my ass and sick of things falling apart without being able to stop it.

Jiji!! JIJI!!” I shouted, practically destroying my voice-box in the doing. I didn’t care—even if my throat burst from the shouting or my eyes fell out from all the tears gushing down unchecked, I didn’t care. RANJIRI!! My voice caught and things started to sting and I'm pretty sure I was tasting iron along with the salt from my eyes, but I didn't care--you hear me? I was done keeping it back. I didn’t care who saw. I was sad, dammit, and I was mad, and I was scared and whether or not it made sense for me to be sad and mad and scared, well, it was happening. It was a thing--and it was a thing that didn’t matter anymore. Nothing did.

I still can’t tell you why I went to search for Jiji in the Foothills. All I knew was that she wasn’t where I left her; I had searched the salty forests long enough to miss any sign of her. And it was after I made sure she was definitely not in that area, that’s when the panic started. I totally lost it—I was still losing it as I thundered passed the familiar border, my hooves pounding down on brown, brittle grasses. Fuck courtesy, I was on a mission, and my subconscious probably lead me here because it was home base. Like in a game of tag; you got to home base to keep safe from the threat. And if Jiji was safe from the threat, she would be here. And she was safe from the threat. I know she was (even if I royally screwed her over). She was safe from the darkness—she had to be.

The alternative wasn’t an option. She was safe, dammit.

@[Ranjiri]



talk

Like stars burning holes right through the dark
Flicking fire like saltwater into my eyes</style>


Ranjiri the GoldenShade Posts: 372
World's Edge Mare atk: 4.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 6
Mare :: Hybrid :: 16.0 :: 5 HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Mara :: Common Rougarou :: Shadow ali
#2
   ranjiri</style>
  peel back the layers and see what i've become</style>



The young girl's head tilted to the side when she heard her name echoing. The voice calling was one she knew well and she could only think that it was about time that Roskuld had finally remembered her and went searching for her. Ranjiri let her continue to scream and call for her and cry and feel like a complete failure while she listened and grinned wolfishly. She picked her way closer as quietly as possible and when she saw Roskuld her grin only widened. She looked pathetic crying and carrying on and she found herself wondering if the black and white mare would start blowing snot bubbles in her hysterics.

"Ros?" The black and gold shell called out, her voice easily mimicking its usual meek tone. "Ros! Ros, I knew you'd come back for me!" She sounded happy and relieved that she had been thought about, but unfortunately for Roskuld's peace of mind it was too little too late. There was a part of the demon child that was happy that her cousin had finally thought about her, if only because she could take out all of the anger and pain she felt at being cast aside yet again in favor of everything else. She would spread the darkness that had consumed her soul and she would enjoy every second of it.

Finally, Ranjiri stepped into the open, the grin still in place on her mangled face. "What made you come back, Ros?" The golden child sneered, her ugly face contorting into a look of malice. "Finally realized you fucked up again?" She continued to walk closer, her remaining ear laid back against her skull. "You really do fucking suck." She hissed. "LOOK AT ME!" The dark girl screeched. "LOOK AT WHAT YOU LET HAPPEN TO ME YOU BITCH!"

Abruptly her screeching stopped and the look of malice melted away to one of indifference. "No matter." She said dismissively. "What's done is done, but you will join me. You have no other option. YOU OWE ME." Her voice rose to a shout and her bony wing beat against the air before settling at her sides once more as her red eyes narrowed into a glare that bordered on hatred.

"."



Credits

aud pixel!

Roskuld the Sparklight Posts: 424
World's Edge General atk: 7.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6
Mare :: Tribrid :: 15.3 :: 6 HP: 82 | Buff: ENDURE
Zchiraxicon :: Royal Rougarou :: Electric Smithers
#3

I don’t wanna talk about what happened after I found Jiji.

I mean….I just don’t. Whatever. Get over it. Just…Things were said—things flew out of her lips—like, I can’t even repeat them, so I won’t, alright? And I wasn’t on my A game and it actually got really gross with some snot, and I’m not even exactly sure what happened, or why it happened, or like…where it came from. But yeah. I ended up attacking Jiji, and I wasn’t even sorry.






….okay, you’re right, this needs some back story. I can’t just drop drama-bombs like that, we’re not in the right zone.

Anyway, um.

Pretty much, the Jiji that I saw wasn’t…Jiji. Well, apparently she was, but when I saw her at that moment I guess the tears were doing something funky to my vision, and my crying headache was telling me things in my brain that didn’t make sense, but made perfect sense and no matter what kind of sense it made, I ran with it. It was all I could cling to—it was all that was keeping me from drowning. So yeah, I stood there frozen on the spot, everything (even my pansy tears) halted, even my breathing paused in an exaggerated fashion as I looked at that thing. And I thought thing and not Jiji, because if I thought Jiji I would just die.

(Because I did that to her.)

But the thing is, even with this fallibly infallible logic scrambling up my brain circuits, the heart has a funny way of doing battle with your mind in the most crucially fucked moments of your life. Because my head told me what I was looking at—this dark, decaying, nasty-ass horse corpsey thing-- was a thing, but my body…my body screamed Jiji at me, and when it screams Jiji it’s not fuckin’ around. I know that bitch. I’ve known her since the day I hit the dirt from Ma’s gross parts—I had been by her side almost every freaking day of my life. Almost every day. That was the tragedy, I guess. It would’ve been a joke but this is Jiji we’re talking about so you better not laugh. Bastard.

So…yeah, my brain was doing one thing and my heart was doing another and I was doing nothing, just standing there, staring at this Jiji-thing, already crushed and dying even though the world was somehow finding a way to squeeze the most hateorade and misery out of my slowly shriveling soul. I have to tell you now: In that moment I had never felt so proud to be my Daddy’s child.
But then….see, I don’t even know. Something happened—something changed. I don’t…I can’t even tell you what, or how, or why, but suddenly, I went apeshit. I think…I….

Oh.

Oh. Now I remember.

She said….”You owe me”. I owed her.

I owed…what?

What did I owe?


WHAT DID I OWE?!

Was it anger? Was it fear? Search me, but if I had to guess (and it WOULD be a guess, because fuck if I know anything), I was turning desperate. She screamed at me and beat me down so much, and something inside just burst and suddenly….I quit. I was done. I….I was done.

I am done.

“I owe you,” I heard myself say, dead-pan and curious and…surprisingly light. “I owe…you?” And oh shit this thing was starting to grow inside me, growing and growing and gone, and it exploded and things were overflowing and my blood was just boiling--no, it was electrified--it was shocking me, shocking my bones, shocking my nerves and my muscles and frying the tears out my ears and ringing in my ears and sending a metallic taste in my tongue, and I didn’t know what was happening but it was pain, all sorts of pain everywhere, and I was suffering inside and out and I was done, done, done and I was hoping Dad was watching because I was done—

—I was done

“I owe you,” I was saying, my mouth moving without my consent, my heart fluttering and probably already dead and something trying to get out, needing to get out and I didn’t know how to let it all out. “I owe—I owe you. Yeah,” I scoffed—I laughed—I snarled, my eyes growing wild and my antennae bangs starting to whip around me because they, too, could feel something deep inside needing release, “Yeah, I owe you, I owe you and him and that guy and some other bitch down the road and Dad—I owe—I owe you all. Growing, growing, bursting, painful, I was dying and Jiji was already dead and I was about to explode, “I owe everyone and their ma—even MY Ma—I owe—I OWE EVERY GOD DAMNED HORSE anything and everything I am and if it’s not enough—“ Pain, pain, pain, so much shock, too much shock and it was killing me, “—it don’t matter CUZ I OWE YOU AND I GOTTA GIVE IT UP, DON’T I?! TO HELL WITH ROS, SHE AIN’T SHIT, BUT THAT’S OKAY CUZ YOU CAN GET SOMETHING FROM HER. YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE—EVERYONE HAS A DEBT I GOTTA PAY CUZ EVERYONE NEEDS SHIT. EVERYONE!!

Everyone.

…Anyway, that thing that was killing me? It wasn’t actually killing me. It was…it finally found a way out of me, through the tip of my horn. A blue lightning bolt, this thick, twisting thing like an electric serpent singeing the air and burning the mist as it slithered from my body. A motherfucking lighting bolt--shooting straight for Jiji, this Jiji-thing taunting me, breaking me, making me realize—

—I was done.


@[Ranjiri]



talk

Like stars burning holes right through the dark
Flicking fire like saltwater into my eyes</style>


Ranjiri the GoldenShade Posts: 372
World's Edge Mare atk: 4.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 6
Mare :: Hybrid :: 16.0 :: 5 HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Mara :: Common Rougarou :: Shadow ali
#4
   ranjiri</style>
  peel back the layers and see what i've become</style>


She knew with every word she spoke that she was hurting the little bitch that had left her to be found and attacked and taken by the darkness. It wasn't so bad that it had happened, but they were supposed to be together all of the time, weren't they? Wasn't that what she had promised? And still she had been left alone to find glory by herself. Roskuld should have been by her side. They should be together spreading the darkness that had consumed the lands that had once been so pure and happy. They should have been together converting those who were worthy, but no.

Roskuld began shouting at her, but the shell that was Ranjiri wasn't listening to a word the little lightning bold head was shouting at her. Instead she had widened her stance, planted her cracked hooves firmly on the ground and flared out the bony wings that were attached to her sides. She was surprised by the lightning bolt that suddenly shot from Roskuld's horn and in retrospect she realized that she should have been paying more attention because if she had she would have been able to dodge it. It wouldn't have ripped down her left side, splitting skin, singing hair and muscle. Rivulets of blackened blood ran from her torn side and in her shock the wraith turned her head to gaze at the wound that had been inflicted upon her by that bitch.

"Look at what you did to me." Her voice was soft, sounding like it should have, but when her head turned and her gaze found Roskuld there there was little more than hatred shining in the depths of her crimson eyes.

If she wanted a fight then she was going to get a fight.

The grass around her began to wither and die as she pulled herself together and began to approach the demi god. "Did it feel good?" She hissed. "Did you like hurting me? Are you proud?" The muscles in her hindquarters coiled and bunched and she lurched toward Roskuld but stopped short, her ear tilted back against her head and an angry look on her ruined face.

"No! Not Ros! Please! Please don't hurt her, please."

The wraith shook her head and began to giggle. "How sweet, she doesn't want me to hurt you." She laughed again. "Please don't hurt her. Please." She wraith mocked Ranjiri's voice. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to kill you." With that she lunged again, teeth bared and aiming for Roskuld's throat.

"."



Credits

aud pixel!

Roskuld the Sparklight Posts: 424
World's Edge General atk: 7.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6
Mare :: Tribrid :: 15.3 :: 6 HP: 82 | Buff: ENDURE
Zchiraxicon :: Royal Rougarou :: Electric Smithers
#5

She actually asked me if I enjoyed doing what I did. She—well, it, the Jiji-thing, because seeing her as Jiji would be it for me. As done as I was, I would…..probably just keel over if I let myself believe this was Jiji talking. This thing that looked just like Jiji (except nastie)--that smelled just like Jiji (except smellier)--that talked with Jiji’s voice (except gravelly and horrible and mocking in a way that twisted this joke-knife that I kept sheathed in my back forever and all the time). I was holding out that there was still a catch in all this, hoping that there was still some hope to have and that the Gods and Daddy dearest hadn’t actually screwed me over.

But yeah, it asked me if I liked doing what I did, and the tragedy was that I couldn’t deny it. I did like attacking like that—in fact, it was more than just like. My body reverberated so excitedly as I let that blast of pure s h o c k blast through my blood and shoot from my horn like that. I had…it was like….I’ve never felt so alive before, y’know? Like this huge over layer of tension just snapped and I was free and it was the most beautiful feeling to let so much power just fly from myself like words I never let myself say and I hated myself, oh god, I hated myself because I had hurt this Jiji-thing and I was practically getting off on it. I mean, sure, I was holding to the idea that it wasn’t Jiji, that I was actually looking at some fucked-up demon face-stealer-thing and that it deserved all the pain I was giving it, and that it deserved to die, die, die and it was okay for it to die because look at all the shit it was causing. Just look.

I was still good at lying to myself.

It was talking again and it was doing its evil, horrible, shitty thing it does and it was mocking…me? No, not me, I was realizing between the haze of RAGE and the afterglowmath of my magic use. She was using this reedy voice to imitate what she might’ve found as an annoying fly of a horse, and I was confused as all hell wondering who “she” was, but obviously I was a shitty liar, especially to myself, so it didn’t take me long to dispel my notions of this thing being a thing by itself and oh shit Jiji was still somewhere in there.

Jiji was still alive.

Jiji was right in front of me.

But something had taken over her body, some evil infection or maybe a badass flea who decided to hijack its host. Which only made it more painful, didn’t it? Because I had attacked her with all the s h o c k I had, and reveled in it—I had attacked her and my whole body was aching to do it again. I wanted to destroy this creature who made my frayed rope finally snap, who made me realize just how done I was with all this this shit I was given on my plate. I don’t know what I’m doing, I never knew, and now look, look what’s happening.

I still didn’t know what to do, especially with Jiji right now. Instead of flailing with my ineptitude, though, I stood there, letting her mock me and threaten me, thinking it through as quickly as I could. Obviously she needed saving—but how was I supposed to do that? How….who? I wasn’t a healer—I didn’t know any healers—I wasn’t even sure if she could be healed. And attacking her certainly didn’t work, seeing as the gross-gross thing was still able to mock me and be all-around awful. And it didn’t help things that it was taking all my willpower not to attack this evil creature, because that’s what my blood wanted to do, needed to do. I don’t know if it was the god in me that wanted to purge the land of evil; all I knew was that I couldn’t attack Jiji again. I wouldn’t, and I would not.

“….hang on, Jiji,” I whispered a broken phrase, wondering if she would hear me passed the stink of the devil within her and the pain of the injury I had inflicted. “I can’t—just hold on,” I backed away from her, finding my steps weak from the magic, but there was no time to be weak. “I’ll—I’ll come back for you,” I murmured, aching from the words because I had left her, hadn’t I? I’ve done nothing but leave her our entire lives; it was something I was really good at.

But I always returned, right?

I zap!ed from her, continuing to zap away, getting as far away as I could as fast as I could, because Jiji needed help I couldn’t give right now.



@[Ranjiri]



talk

Like stars burning holes right through the dark
Flicking fire like saltwater into my eyes</style>



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