Things got a little harder after she went out on her own. Not necessarily, truly, for she was already alone when Tingal had abandoned her. Yet there she was, hating the fact that she had to give up on him. He had broken her, destroyed what little trust she had in the last person she'd invested it in. It was one thing to hold out hope for him to return, knowing the possibility of his return. It was another entirely to have him finally come back to her, only for him to be halfway changed and just as loose-tongued as ever, no real reason for his disappearance aside from a few apologies. Hotaru was like a cancer, eating away at all those who dared to come close enough to be infected. All others had been pushed away, and she only hoped it was the better choice. Her twin, her mother, her best friend...her entire future had dissolved in anger, righteous as it may have been at times. Was it better to be mum, to hold her tongue simply because they wanted her to? To be the perfect model slave to the rigidity of the society she lived in, beneath their hooves? No. No, it was better to be alone and lonely than to be held captive and chained, unable to be herself.

And so spring had come.

It wasn't as pretty as she remembered it being. Everything was muddy and disgusting to her now. Not as fun as she remembered it being when she'd been far younger, stomping about in mud puddles and not caring about the dirt that coated her beautiful colors. It was the only rebellious act she had, to come home covered in the disgusting substance, to hear her mother's and sister's cries of horror. Her desire to shake and cover them with the dirt had been nearly overwhelming, but even back then she'd been unable to take that step. Now, this was just a reminder of all she'd ever done wrong, all she'd ever failed to be. In some ways it was good, and in other ways bad. She'd escaped a life of silence and fake vanity, but she'd been dumped in one where nobody was at her side to support her any longer. It was all up to her now. All she had was the strength in her body and her faith in the mistress of night. The amulet upon her cheek reminded her of that.

So involved in her own thoughts, so unused to others being around, she nearly bodily tripped over the star-themed lady in the melting snow below her. Squeaking softly she lurched up and over and nearly tumbled, sparing herself an ugly fall by thrusting out a foreleg and turning it into a choppy run. What the...? Turning, her heterochromatic eyes fell upon the figure she'd nearly stepped on, heart seizing tight and panicked in her breast. She knew that coat, those brilliant eye-catching patterns. But why was she prone upon the ground, unmoving? Everything hurt, and she wanted to scream God, no, please not her. The one person who had expressed kindness to her, who had wished her love and luck when she'd had the courage to express her desire to leave.

"Irrydae!" her voice is a shriek of panic and she flings herself to her knees in a facsimile of prayer. Eyes scraping over her, only for everything to go loose in relief at the breaths expanding her beautiful coat. Tears come unbidden to her eyes and she sobs, thrusting her face towards Irry's shoulder, entire body shaking. There's more than fear to her crying. She swore to herself she never would, but there she was, crying like she'd never be able to again. So much has built up inside her, waiting for this moment to be released in the hot stream down her face. "Don't do that to me! I was so scared!" And her body heaves like it's unable to bear the weight of her tears, the press of her agony that she can't stand to hold up any longer. Losing Irrydae...the one person she might have left, if she hopes that little bit that maybe she hasn't ruined their relationship with her absence...it would break what little of her is still left untouched.