The way I see it, we're all where we are at a certain time for a certain reason.

Fate, as most seem to call it. Others call it Chance, or Luck, some even call it Coincidence, but I stick to call it Fate. So it's here that Fate does its duty, and leads you straight to me. I can hear you laughing, splashing through the water, your white guardian beside you. I dare to walk around the Rotunda to look at you crossing the creek, my heart warming almost instantly. I want to dash to your side but instead wait, ears twitching anxiously as I watch you come closer to me, excitement coursing within my bones.

I can't tell if you've noticed me or not, so I offer a nicker, a deep yet sweet call for you to hear, to bring your attention to me. I take a brave step into the luke warm water and wait for you, a smile crawling across my white lips. Gods I've missed you, and watching the afternoon rays of light beam down upon you through the trees, it makes me want to fall heavily before you, into your arms.

"Lakota! My Gods it's great to know you're okay." I step forward to meet you, and to touch my muzzle to your cheek if you allow. I'm over flowing with joy, the fact that you're seemingly okay makes me feel much better. "I haven't seen you in so long. Are you okay?" I look her over quickly, stopping every once and a while to stare into her eyes, those violet eyes that made me want to melt away into the water and flow down river. "Is uh— Ktulu okay?" I pause, then add in, "are you still with the Foothills?"

I don't know what else to say. I've been fumbling over my words, trying to breathe deeply and calm myself down, but with you before me it's difficult to do. All I can think about is you.
Talk talk talk"
[oy so short >.<;; sorry bout that... and awkward first person is awkward.]

You call to me, your voice so sweet and tender. My heart bounds through the air, and I would give everything to bound and leap and twirl into your arms, and then to hold you close to me. The news I bring is big, exciting. Almost as exciting as knowing that you are here, alive before me. Your voice is so fragile, and I respond with my own call, eager to see you. You stumble forward upon seeing me, splashing water around everywhere. Oh how beautiful you are in the sunlight that breaks through the tree tops.

I leave a kiss on your cheek, as you do to mine. Where your soft, dark lips have touched my pale cheek burns, tingles with a flurry of feelings. Your hesitant response sends my mind whirling, wondering if you were truly okay. Being fairly larger than you I can see you shift your body, trying to hide something from me, a bleach white brow raising up. "Are you sure you are okay, Lakota?" I ask, peering at you before shaking my head, deciding that whatever it was I would find out sooner or later.

My question about Ktulu is quite courageous. I didn't want to ask about your... your partner, but I suppose it's kind to ask about her. You tell me you've healed her, and I nod, forcing a smile to my face. "Good, that's good." Oh the pain in my heart. I feel like a horn has speared my chest repeatedly, then has been run upwards, to my throat. The pain is immense, because I know how much you love Ktulu. I've seen it— I know it.

You tell me you're in the Edge with Archibald and Ktulu. I smile, remembering Archibald. He was a big, beastly stallion. I respect him, for he is a great warrior. I bob my head gently, recalling his face. I stop and shake it side to side now, because you have asked if I have found a home. "No, I have not. I may just wander here and there for a bit— maybe I will settle down somewhere later on. Maybe I'll join you in the Edge— if it wouldn't be weird... because.. you know.." I stop, glancing around, my voice softening as I speak her name. "... Ktulu" I respect your partner, but it hurts to see you two together. So maybe going to the Edge with you isn't a good idea—

A soft little wail from the Rotunda makes my ears perk, and I turn to the Rotunda, sighing. "Teppei is up—" I turn to you, smiling and motioning with my head. "Come see him." I begin to walk towards the Rotunda, hoping you follow me. Maybe it is here that I will confess to you—

Maybe here I will tell you you're beautiful, under the setting sun's rays. Yes, maybe that is what I shall do. "The Rotunda— quite beautiful isn't it?" Pausing, I turn and smirk at you. "Almost as beautiful as you—" Oh my heart is pounding, prepared to pop out of my rusty chest. I turn away, pushing past the silken curtains and stepping into the Rotunda. Teppei, my newly born companion lays on the ground in a little pile of leaves. I nudge the little one, and he gives a little squeal. I thank the Earth Father for him. I hope that you have followed me into the Rotunda, where the light dances upon the structure, making everything beautiful.
"Talk talk talk"

I want to poke and prod and probe at her when she spoke. The hesitation, the pitch of your voice, the shifting of your weight. It concerned me, but I do not bother you. I didn't want to upset you too much. I frown, looking at you with concern painted on my face. I care for you, and I found it odd that you act this way towards me. Did you not trust me? Did you think I would go crazy if I found out whatever it is? I erase the look off of my face, placing joy onto my face instead. I was still happy to see you, but I'm was aching to you what happened while I was away.

Flicking back my ears, I look down at my hooves, mumbling with embarrassment. "Well 'cause Ktulu may get a little protective.. and you and her—" My face is burning as I shyly glance up towards your beautiful violet eyes, quickly withdrawing and looking back down at my cloven hooves.

You seem confused when I mention Teppei, and when you hear his small squeals. Joy fills my body as I begin to stride towards the Rotunda, excited to show you my newly gained friend. He was small, still fragile, far away from adulthood. You follow me, our own little game of follow the leader. We walk together to the entrance of the Rotunda, a big, cheesy grin planted on my features.

What I say clearly takes you by surprise, you turn towards me and stare, eyes wide. You part your lips and speak only two words. I frown, looking away. "S-sorry... I'll shut up now—" Stupid stupid stupid! I scold myself, wanting to find a tree and hit my head against it for a while. Gods I was such an idiot! My heart has taken a daring leap from my chest and straight towards you, tearing a hole in my rusty breast. I cringe as your two words echo through my head. I hear your voice piping up again, and look at you as you duck and tap your hoof against the stone floor of the Rotunda. You compliment me, but your words are almost suffocating me with sincerity. I flick back an ear, looking down at you and your crooked grin. I smile at you, a true smile as I look deeply into your violet eyes that take me to an eternity of nothing but you and me.

Past the silken curtains that cover the entrance to the Rotunda, we together view the beautiful structure from the inside. Light from the sun dances upon the stained glass, which beams down colored rays upon the inside. On your coat different hues waltz, a few of them shining into your violet eyes. You glance towards Teppei, trying to switch the subject as fast as you can. "He is beautiful. I remember when Aodaun was that small." You laugh lightly, like doves cooing in the night, like angels singing in the heavens, your laugh sweeps my heart away, carrying it to a distant land. "It will be a long while before Teppei is as big as Aodaun—" The tiny thing of black and white squeals as I bend down again to press my muzzle to his warm side, eyes squeezed shut and little paws thrashing. What a little mess this one will be.

I look at you, sparking an odd, not really related question. "Do you ever want children?" I look at you, curious. If you ask, I'll just use Teppei as a reason for me asking this. Really I just want to know so I can avoid you when you and Ktulu have little ones to take care of, little foals that will trample all over my hopes and crush my heart between their little gums. Oh gods that would be aweful. Lakota, never have children— for my sake.

Talk talk talk"

If Ktulu is protective of you, then I am certainly not wanted anywhere near you two or your home. So I will be just an acquaintance to you I suppose, just a friend, a herd mate from your past. I will become just a stranger sooner or later, and these times of smiles and silly little compliments will fade off into the back of your mind, never again to roll past your eyes. Even in death you won't remember these days we spent together, these moments that I for one will hold quite dear to me. I suppose that is just how things work—

Hanging my head slightly, I look back up into your lavender eyes, a slight frown upon your delicate features. "Well.. what I meant to say was... I don't know maybe Ktulu won't like me spending time with you?" I don't want to admit my admiration for you, my liking that has seemed to grow into more of a dangerous addiction. I was a man caged by a drug— you. And admitting to it would be the end of me, those sweet and silly compliments would finally become more than just a whispered few words, but a reality that I both want and do not want.

I do indeed adore watching you step through those curtains, the silken fabrics slipping from your figure in a gentle manner, revealing your curvy roan body in full. My heart skips many a beat as I stare at your soft features, those lavender eyes, losing myself to the trance they pull me into. I smile, watching you look at little Teppei, Aodaun intrigued by the swirling colors reflected upon the stone floor before catching sight of Teppei, huffing about the child and eagerly staring at it. I give a soft laugh, Aodaun moving away and weaving between your dark legs. I watch the pale bear do so, a smile still on my face.

"I suppose they do.." I look at you, joy filling my heart. Maybe one day Teppei will grow old enough to walk beside me and play with Aodaun, and we can stand side by side and laugh about these times where I used to awkwardly trip over my words and give you sheepish grins, burning brightly with embarrassment. Maybe one day—

Letting out a sigh from between my lips, I look at you, wondering what will become of us within that time. Will we remain friends? Will I be pushed away by Ktulu, or will you migrate to my side? No, the latter was impossible. I have seen the way you and Ktulu act with one another. That is true love, love that will last. Shaking my head gently, I hold back the feeling of loss from becoming apparent upon my panda marked face.

I see you, looking down at your companion as you answer the question I had given you. There is truth within your words, and a delicate look in your violet eyes. I cannot help but smile listening to you babble about children, about how you want foals more than anything. I nod my head, closing my eyes gently and opening them to find you looking out upon the river that rages along beside us. The smile fades as you look down, sorrow and loss upon your face as you tell me Ktulu cannot bear you children (no pun intended). "I too want foals and a nice family to cuddle up with on cold, dark nights. I want my children to grow to be well mannered, and treat their peers with respect. I want them to get the full feeling of love and of comfort, of acceptance. I want them to be knowledgeable of the world around them, and know of the gods— and be able to fight for what they believe is right." I mumble, my eyes flickering for a moment as I speak. Beautiful children, two sounds nice to me. Nodding gently, with a calm, serene expression on my face, I look at you and am drawn into a fantasy that brings me to my knees. You and I, children that are ours before us, curled up with Aodaun and an older Teppei. Yes, this is all I want.

I look at you, longing in my green eyes as they lay upon your violet body. "I am sorry that Ktulu cannot bear you children—" I murmur, stopping myself from blurting out anything more that I may regret. I could not say such things to you, not ever, not unless I was desperately needing to. For now, my affection towards you remained with me, unless you had already found yourself seeing the signs. The clumsiness, the silly little compliments, the stuttering— Oh I'm a wreck. How is it I've allowed myself to become this way? I step forward only moments after my words slip from my lips, reaching out to brush my pale, velvety muzzle against your cheek. It was an act of reassurance. "Maybe one day you'll find a way to have that large family you've always dreamed of—" My soft, reassuring words hang for a moment in the air around us, lingering like a warm ray of sunlight shining brightly through the silken curtains.
"Talk talk talk"

Giving a slight and soft sigh of relief as you tell me Ktulu hates everyone and hardly takes away your time, I feel a sudden pang of guilt. I was taking away your time by remarking on your beauty, you could be bonding with Aodaun further or telling Ktulu how much you love her, not wasting your time with me. Maybe I should send you off now, but there's so much to talk about, so maybe I'll stay a while longer, as long as you aren't dying of boredom, which I hope you aren't.

The silence is near deafening, the blood in my ears roaring wildly as I stand in the quiet Rotunda. The two bears make no noise, and I feel pressured. How much longer can I hold it in? Seeing you standing there, looking so beautiful with light dancing upon your indigo frame, shadows cast against your perfectly curved body, your sweet nature shining through to me, reaching out as I give a sigh.

I shake my head as you claim there are no other paths to walk along, words that were woven with lies. There were plenty of other paths to walk, but whether you walk them or not is all up to you. "Surely there are other paths—" I look at you, taking in your look, your body, your everything, wishing I could hold you close without worries or fears. But sadly, this is no world where all goes well and everyone gets what they want. It is a world of hardships and pain, but all that we go through, the suffering and fighting to get what we want, it shapes us into who we are as individuals.

I chuckle as you tell me I have better chances. I was not a handsome prince charming, here to sweep any damsel off her feet. Certainly not a stud, I was an unattractive, weak and small stallion that no mare desired. I shake my head as I chuckle, closing my eyes for a brief moment in disbelief. "I don't know what you're talking about." A smile on my face as I look up, noticing you were circling me now, looking me over and murmuring about how I'd be a catch. My ears were burning out of embarrassment, and I was flustered at these words, and the way your violet eyes took me in.

I stop at your words, the blood rushing from my face at your words. How do I tell you that you're the one holding me back, that I've not wooed any mares because I've been waiting for you, or that I've never wooed a mare in my lifetime. "Because there's another mare I'm waiting on, but I think it's becoming pointless because uh... because she doesn't seem to notice me." I confess, looking up to you as I do. My words were shaky and my tone was all over, and I was looking quite nervous. Gods I can't even say these things without wanting to sink back and hide forever. "But I'll just keep waiting, even though I already know she's deeply in love with another—" My voice fades as I realize what I've said. This is a major giveaway, and I pray to the Gods you don't think about what I've said too much.
"Talk talk talk"

I seem to not be your main point of focus, your eyes glazing over, your mind seeming to drift away. I watch you dream, wondering what it is your dreams are, what thoughts cloud your vision, what wishes grasp your mind. I simply stand, waiting for you to regain a sense of reality. While you aren't paying attention I let my jaded gaze wash over you, taking in your curves for yet another time. I was like a hungry predator, taking in these images of beauty and holding them as my own. During times like these I wonder if you're an angel, tossed from your heavenly ranking to live among the mortals.

You shake your crown, dark tassels falling before violet eyes, my jaw threatening to drop open and my eyes widening as the light hits you in a way that makes my skin crawl. Your words ring hollowly through my head, passing through the other side. I don't realize what you've said until a few moments after, my lashes fluttering as I return to the world of the living. "I'm not all that brave—" I murmur, looking down guiltily. I couldn't even admit my liking for you, the way you lure me into this darkness, ensnare me with your elegance, your soft words and delicate figure.

You begin to press me about it, telling me to seek her out, to woo her. My face is burning with guilt, horrifying guilt that washes over me like waves during a storm, pulling me under, filling my lungs with water. I'm choking, trying to keep myself from coughing up the truth. You stop mid sentence and I look up, your eyes wide and maw gaping. "L-Lakota?" I stammer, taking a step closer to make sure you were okay. My name slips out, but a hushed whisper falling form your lips. And then that one word, the word that falls to the floor and shatters. The word that releases a thousand thoughts, a crazed frenzy and panic rushes forward, fear eating away at what remains. I can feel my knees trembling, my legs growing weak beneath me as I gaze into your widened eyes.

"I— I.." Silence falls over me, my chin trembling as I gaze at you, trying to organize myself. I'm a filing cabinet, pushed over with all the files strewn across the floor, messed up and scattered. I can't take my time and pick them up, so I'm left standing in this mess, looking deeply into your violet gaze before dropping my head, shamefully whispering a single word that hurts for me to say. "Y- yes.." I glance up, raising my head but avoiding meeting your gaze. "I just... thought maybe I could push it off and then you wouldn't have to worry about any of this— " Breathe, go on now. "I hoped maybe I could hide it and you could live happily with Ktulu, maybe have that family you really want.." I'm stumbling over my words, clumsily falling over each syllable, tripping over each letter that falls from my lips.

You turn, revealing a scar that is so horrifying to see, I want nothing more than to wrap myself around you, and hearing your words, I can hear the pain in your words, the words that make my stomach twist into knots and my eyes water. "Oh Lakota—" I begin to murmur, blinking back the tears that threaten to run down my cheeks. "I would be willing to take that chance if it meant being close to you, you're an angel." I whisper the last word, our eyes locking as your turn back to face me directly. "I will do anything to get close to an angel, because being beside an angel is the closest I will ever get to touching heaven." My words are uneven, shaky, the knot in my throat making it difficult for me to talk or breathe. I was so shaken up by this change, this sudden turn of events.

You speak again and I shake my head, a silly little smile pulled up from the darkest depths, my features twisting, distorted as I attempt this smile. "I know you love Ktulu, it hurts so much to admit it—" My words are growing faint, my bottom lip trembling as I take a deep breath in. "And I know I cannot give you anything like that, a love that is eternal, that is unconditional. I can only give you silly compliments that you pass off as nothing but kindness, I can give you warmth that you can get from any other stranger. Really I'm not worthy of you, but Ktulu, she is. Cherish what you have with her Lakota, make sure you never let her go." I close my eyes, trying to collect myself, picking up the shattered pieces of my heart, cutting myself on the sharp edges. "I suppose I don't know who you are. I've fallen in love with a stranger—" I pause, my breathing rapid. It is then that I notice that the Rotunda has grown darker, that the sky is grey and clouded, no longer beautiful sunlight glowing radiantly, shining into the Rotunda, but storm clouds that gather above our heads. I can hear the first few patters of rain hitting the stained glass, looking down at you. "But goddammit that stranger I fell in love with was one of a kind. I'm proud that I had such a bittersweet moment with her before she forgets me and moves on while I cling to our past, unable to forget her." I can feel the first wave of tears wash over me as I swallow, the knot in my throat choking me as I cough, suddenly unable to hold it back anymore. "I'm just one big fuck up, aren't I? I mean, I fell for someone I shouldn't have, and now here I am trying to get over it but I just can't do it. I don't think I can." I stammer, shaking my head, curly dark locks falling over my eyes. I want nothing more than to shrink away and cradle these precious memories of our time together while you go off to frolic with your true love.
Talk talk talk"