the Rift


[JUDGED] I'm just a poor boy (Rostislav x Midas)
Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#1
 MIDAS</style>
 A lone wolf stares back at me, long in the tooth but as harmless as he can be</style>

Too many of my soldiers had gone absent from their post, our numbers were dwindling by the day. Just like everything else—people came in and went out. We harbored a steady flow of travelers seeking shelter, but few true members to boost our numbers. With such scarce few in my command to control the valley…I feared that an attack from the outside world would happen within months rather than years. Our fragile neutrality didn’t seem promising with the

Northern unicorns, they obviously weren’t pleased with our decision.
There was a snippet of good tiding, Dragon’s Throat had accepted my offer for an alliance; but they also lay a world away. Hard traveling for those who couldn’t fly and further still when the idea of invasion plagued my mind—could the fire reach us in time to provide a saving inferno? Thrice I’d seen the Throat prevail, despite its members; I’d see this herd through a time just as dark if necessary. With or without an alliance…

Until such a threat showed its face, all we could do was train. I looped toward the dusty ground, a spot between the meadow and largest river; nestled in a private thicket that bore no hindering canopy overhead. Earth was noticeably mucked up, full of scuffle marks from other warriors sweating and bleeding upon it. I landed roughly and at a canter, daggers scattered vanishing gold in my wake. A high noon sun rose above my spine, welcome to yet another muggy Tallsun day.

OOC:

Setting: High noon, no overhanging branches over the training ground. It’s a hot, clear day.

No magic
No companions



[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Rostislav Posts: 245
Hidden Account atk: 4.5 | def: 7.5 | dam: 7
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 15.1hh :: 7 (Frostfall) HP: 69.5 | Buff: ENDURE
Damaris :: Common Hellhound :: Acid Lauren
#2
Rostislav
No rest for the weary, my mother always said. Okay, that's bullshit - I didn't really know my mother and no one ever said anything like that to me day in and day out. But it is a common phrase and I find it suits me perfectly. First Elsa, then Cirrus.. but I'm already looking for a new fight. I'm not a battle-worn, time-tested veteran; I'm a middle-aged wannabe drunkard who is testing his metal to prove himself. Flints pounding the hardened, well-traveled dirt, I see a thicket ahead and send my body in that direction. Damaris has trailed behind me, carrying a half-eaten rabbit with her. I am more unsure of her leaving my side than she is, and I insist that when I go somewhere she bring along whatever she's up to. Upon entering, I find a clearing - how convenient - and none other than my reigning king. Damaris lies down at the edge of the clearing, out of the way. She looks between me and Midas with interest; her affection for Midas from his care months ago is apparent. She digs into the rabbit, her acidic saliva helping to dissolve away the hairs and cartilage that might hinder her meal.

My steps continue to carry me across from Midas, my own prints covering the many that have been left before me. I bow my crown to his and address him appropriately. "A tussle, Comrade? Good for us both, I think." More good for him than myself. I'm not in the best of shape and yet I seek to go onwards anyway. My wounds are healing, yes, but there are definite bruises that still lie hidden beneath my ivory sprinkled pelt. My scrapes are healing, hard scabs protecting them on my neck, with scars over my right ear. My chest is still tender from the repeated hits there, but I can move without limping. I pray that Midas does not find this weakness, or I may not be moving much at all for awhile.

I don't wait for his answer: if he's here, I know already his reply will be acquiescence. I wonder what way I can begin this fight and not put my weaknesses up on a silver platter. How can I use this dusty terrain to my advantage? I move toward Midas, but stop a few yards away just out of reach, and I begin to trot back and forth, like in a military line before the battlefield. My hooves kick up dust and dirt as I purposefully pound them into the ground. When I'm satisfied, I turn away, moving at a canter I make a half-circle and turn toward Midas again. Moving faster, I approach him head on, head down with my horns out toward him, hoping that the dust I've kicked up will lessen his ability to defend himself. With luck, perhaps I can tear at his chest or neck, or poke a few holes in his face. Even some deep scrapes would be satisfying to me, and I wonder if, as I did with Cirrus, I can pull away with flaps of skin hanging from my horns.

I'm not sure if this is a stupid idea or a good one. It's certainly more creative than I've ever been in a fight, but perhaps its only purpose is showmanship. I'm not sure I've kicked up enough dust to do me any good, and Midas is no middle-aged wannabe drunkard. My hopes are high that I may be able to prove myself, but clever or not, this is going to be one tough "tussle."


Walk. Talk.

WC: 597
Attack: [1,3]
OOC: Tried to kick up dust to screen his attack, comes straight on at a canter and tries to spear Midas wherever he can, or scrape him up.
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Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#3
 MIDAS</style>
 A lone wolf stares back at me, long in the tooth but as harmless as he can be</style>

None other than our Legatus, Rostislav breaks through the brush and bramble. I glance up, folding my wings and settling into the golden dust. Corners twitch, the beginnings of a smirk form across my muzzle toward the wayward stallion whose short stature still out measured me. His little companion, having grown larger since I’d last laid eyes upon her, is siting by and by—shredding some poor forest creature. I glanced her way and offered the little whelp a nod before returning my gaze to Rostislav as he draws closer and speaks.

Crown dips, mimicking his respect with equal measure. “Aye! Tis an honor to test ye at long last!” I couldn’t always stand by and watch my warriors spar with their kin; I’d been raised in the tides of battle and thus made it a point to at least make myself available for their practice. “Good for both,” cranium nods in outward agreement, touching chin to the gem below my breast.

Formal regard is nearly complete, when we look up at each other it appears to be with the same calculated measure. He was gazing upon my frame, likely judging the obvious strengths and searching for a quick weakness that could be flushed free. The smirk upon my maw didn’t fade, it grew, “Measure carefully, Legatus.” I thought wistfully; it had been awhile since anyone dared step forward to vanquish my power, I welcomed the attempt and practice.

Knowingly I lean right, shifting my weight purposely and tightening the grip of feathers against barrel to shield them from damage. Rostislav turns and begins to circle, the smile fades from my face, and our games begin. Flesh angled toward the opposite side, I push in the other direction, mirroring a circle. Ears are high and standing like stern soldiers at the ready, my fleshy throat is arched, and normally passive gaze is sharp, watchful.

It is Rostislav who makes the first move, he comes flying at me. A wake of dust springs from behind, but it is dust that is easily avoided given my position. However, something had to be done with the weighted beast coming headlong. His silver locks fly around the evil looking spears that sprout from his brow. Wings resist their urge to take toward heaven, instead I suddenly dip sideways toward his left, using smaller size and years of maneuverability to avoid any attempt at stabbing and gashing my flesh.

Teeth slide free from their fleshy fold and snap out like a coiled snake toward the juncture of meat around the top of his neck, where hair meets fur. They seek to claim mark upon the pretty tendrils that are flying in wild directions. Hindquarters flex and carry this heavy bundle into a slightly twisted halfrear while face is snapping, my forelimbs flail out; golden daggers moving to strike with clear purpose toward knocking his skull on the opposite side of the battlefield.

OCC:

Attack (1/3)
Word count: 487



[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Rostislav Posts: 245
Hidden Account atk: 4.5 | def: 7.5 | dam: 7
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 15.1hh :: 7 (Frostfall) HP: 69.5 | Buff: ENDURE
Damaris :: Common Hellhound :: Acid Lauren
#4
Rostislav
Making the first move was clearly a poor notion, though I give myself credit for having the nerve. Did I overestimate my ability to so easily score against my King? I suppose I did, though perhaps my confidence was inflated from my idea to stir up dust as a cover for my attack. By stirring up dust, I've managed to hurt my own ability to see my opponent's location, and instead of a full-on hit, I've obtained nothing but a full-on miss. Embarrassment rises up inside me as my horns pierce thin air and my lobes catch the sound of hooves pounding to my left. The embarrassment is compounded by the emotion reflected in my companion who saw the whole thing. If only she could have somehow warned me! My flesh grows hotter as annoyance at myself and at Midas for his battle prowess builds.

The heat that I feel now is something entirely different. It comes neither from the emotions broiling inside me, nor the sun's garish rays overhead. It's the heat of a new wound. Midas is not foolish enough to simply dodge me. Before I can recover myself, he has returned to my side with teeth bared and ready for whatever part of me they can take. Somewhere inside, a distant part of me sighs. Am I really so easy to carve up like a Thanksgiving turkey? My sloppiness in this moment has led to a strong pair of jaws clamped around my neckline, just missing where I've been previously wounded in battle. It's a small relief, but not enough to make up for the pain that emanates from my muscles, bunched and pinched under Midas's ivories. A groan slips past my velvets. But my punishment is not over: He raises up in a half-rear, forelegs rising in an attempt to give me a good smack to the face. My head is down just enough that his knees and cannon bones knock against my skull, but I'm pulling my head to the side, away from him. In this way I've managed to avoid too much damage to my skull, but I expect a nice bruise will line my cheek bone.

But of course, with Midas in a half-rear and my head lowered, this puts me in the perfect position to once again attempt to attack him with my horns. I want to say that surely I cannot miss, but at this point one never knows. I turn my crown and angle it toward his chest, attempting to stab him with whatever pointy thing on my body might possibly make contact. I hope that perhaps he will not manage to get away from me before I can scrape off some of that painted flesh and show the tissue and blood beneath. Who knows if I can be successful? Dust is rising up around us, stirred from our scrambling hooves. We are just two wild beasts fighting under the heat of the summer sun. Were it not for the shade of the beast I'm attacking, his shadow like an umbrella over my face, I might be blinded. I am certain that when next my face be exposed, the sun might become a real problem for me. For now I can only hope that perhaps I can get a little bit of revenge on the kingly beast for beating me up as he has. A snarl passes my lips as I thrust upward with determination. I will not roll over and let you have me so easily!

Walk. Talk.

WC: 587
Attack [2,3]
Bruised neck and cheek, knocked sideways but without falling, thrusts head up to hit Midas's chest/shoulder with his horns.
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Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#5
 MIDAS</style>
 A lone wolf stares back at me, long in the tooth but as harmless as he can be</style>

Rostislav is a taller breed, (as are most of my competitors) every bit of his fleshy tank is rippling muscle, disciplined and tough as iron. This made agility my strongest boon; I couldn’t hope to ever overpower such a brute by strength alone. My ivories close across their mark, pinching the soft flesh just beside a point of what lovers consider painful when their rowdy mounts nipped with lustful intention to drive pleasure higher. Aye, we danced to an older tune, the sweet smell of perspiration rising from heated skin is our perfume, and the rapid pace of breath, that disheveled grunt of a pained opponent, our tempo. That bitter taste of male musk is upon my tongue, ebony lips slide further back, crumbling my face in a grimace as teeth jerk out tiny fragments of fuzz from his jacket.

Our pelts had to surely be a sheen of dust and dirt with the swath of grit flying around two sets of stamping feet. I squinted against the glare of sunlight and unclean air.

My forelimbs also hit with positive blow, a sweltering fever runs through them, up toward my forearm when knees collide forcefully with the angled side of his head—(thankfully missing the tipped horns in said process.) At this point all emotion has become basic and nearly animalistic, everything else is written off as a distraction…there are no other sounds I focus on, aside from scuffling dirt and his rasping breath as we struggled.

He’d pulled away first, tipping head aside to avoid further abuse from my flailing daggers. Molars unhinge themselves, retracting purposefully to avoid unnecessary damage to my Legatus and kinsman. It wasn’t my intention to harm this fellow, I merely sought to test his abilities. (Though his intentions where yet unfamiliar to me.) Like a scaled vermin curled angrily upon the ground, Rostislav swung his head toward my exposed neckline. Pronged points aimed for fragile tissue, aimed with the promise of concrete pain.

I had a split moment to react, hindquarters crumbled this body to the ground. Landing smoothly upon all fours, I jerked sharply right, crown lowering at a left angle over throatlatch to offer itself as a shield against his blood seeking attempt. My quick motions saved a possible wound that would have been hard to recover, (given my unprotected position), but I didn’t avoid contact. His antlers swung round, bending to follow my retreat; the tips of those spears fell against the high curve of my left shoulder, scrapping away bits of fur and scratching the surface with a shallow line down the length of that shoulder until it finally hit with a sharp, clank, as horn struck against solid steel. Heart raced ahead, tripped into a faster pace when I realized that one pulsebeat later, and his rack could have pierced a rather unattractive hole. My shoulder would be sore, as it would have had I scrapped against a barbed rock—ebony hair would grow back eventually, but at least my flesh was still in-tact (for now.)

I’d scrambled aside and taken precious little time to plan or question, tis the only reason why my blood hadn’t been spilled by this worthy opponent. Gaze narrowed, hardening as the sting of his attack filtered into my brain, brows doted into tight knots…this stocky fellow was going to give me a reason to stay interested. Quarters bunched up again, this time instead of rising to the sky I swung head far right and down—the only visible warning he’d receive for what was to come. Our battle ground is hard packed, baked by sunlight and trampled upon by many a soldier. My feet found it relatively sturdy and quite easy to glide upon. (Considering this body had grown used to dancing upon softer turf.)

I shifted the front of my body further right, twisting away from him, retreating only a pace or so aside. Cranium thrust down and quarters thrust up, hindfeet violently flew out with every intention to graze the left side of his (pristine) chest, barrel or whatever body part happened to fall prey to my bowed feet. An unintentionally gasp lifted past my lips from the effort it took to rise and thrust hard.

OOC:

Attack (2/3)

Word count: 705



[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Rostislav Posts: 245
Hidden Account atk: 4.5 | def: 7.5 | dam: 7
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 15.1hh :: 7 (Frostfall) HP: 69.5 | Buff: ENDURE
Damaris :: Common Hellhound :: Acid Lauren
#6
Rostislav
Dust swirling around our bodies, sweat dripping down our faces, down our sides. The path of the sweat droplets leave a clean trail in the soft brown cover that coats our large carcasses. Sun above, blistering heat, relentless on our backs. Stallions of the wild west, fighting for what - a herd, honor, land? No, because it's what we do. This is where we take our stand, where we fight so that we know exactly what we're made of, if that stuff, that stuff inside, is actually tough enough. Is your sinew strong enough to stand the brute force applied by another living being wanting to bring you to your knees?

My sinew is strong enough, is yours Midas? You move out of my way just enough that I am not stabbing you through and through, but you are not so fast and agile that you can escape me entirely. Horns atop my crown are deadly, and you are lucky that what I leave on your pelt is a simple scratch, burning but after today a complete after thought. A clink, clank as my horn hits your collar, and I draw back, startled by the metallic sound. I wasn't expecting that and it jolts my head enough that I am drawn out of the moment. Though Midas is just slightly shorter and more compact, it's obvious his defense and offense are aided by his size, not harmed. He is more agile than I am and can turn in twist in ways that my stockier build cannot. His lean muscle is accustomed to moving on the battlefield and knows how to work around my bulk. He is a wizened warrior against my compared naïveté. What's a poor boy to do? But just because he is more experienced does not mean I cannot strike a blow, and my confidence in this moment is boosted.

Do you cry when you're wounded? Do you crumble, defeated? Or do you stand back up, ready to take another blow. Are you willing to go on no matter the cost? A cry in the mind, through my veins, my tissues, all the way to my heart. My bonded, my one love, whines with anxiety for my wellbeing. She doesn't realize what Midas and I clearly see - my king is taking it easy on me, purposefully being gentle so that I may walk away from this instead of remaining as a pile of bones in a pool of blood. Her worry distracts me, and I find myself momentarily absent from the actions that are happening like spitfire.

Why, Rosti, why? Don't lose focus. Did you drown yourself in your bottle, have you passed from the realm of consciousness? This is why we don't drink when we spar, and yet here you are acting like you've chugged some Grey Goose. Get your head in the game. Do you even see Midas turning, rotating, those hindquarters bunching, tightening as he prepares to launch his attack? Of course you don't. Lucky, luck as hell that Midas does not attack straight on, those hind hooves can pack a punch. If he were to hit the breastbone of this drunken unicorn that important structure might just shatter.

Those hooves come at me, my eyes widen. Lucky is right. Instead of my chest they swing away and hit my barrel. Well, I thought it was lucky. A pained groan pushes forcefully past my lips, loud and clear. The flints of my opponent strike against my side, and I realize that maybe I don't have as much fat padding me there as I thought. With all this sparring, I seem to have worked a lot of it off, and his powerful thrust hits across my ribs. There will be bruises, and painful movement and breathing for quite awhile I suspect. Better that, though, than a shattered chest.

Revenge, brother, revenge. I lunge forward at his form, trying to avoid the hooves that may still be in the air. Teeth bared, ready for blood. Let me paint you red, Midas, and leave you memories of me. Ivories aim for the painted hindquarters, hoping to scrape flesh away and leave cuts and someday scars. The pain from Midas's attack to my crest stings, but not enough to cause me hesitation. I don't want to disfigure you, Sir, but you had better remember that I am your general, and you will not best me. Everyone that crosses my path will carry my mark, and you will know that you have chosen the right beast to lead your soldiers. I am Rostislav, Usurper of Glory, and I will have your respect.

Walk. Talk.

WC: 771
Attack: [3,3]
Ohh.. played around a lot with perspective. Good idea or not, I don't know. Any questions please ask. Rosti took damage to his ribcage. Launched forward to attack Midas's hindquarters as he's coming down, trying to avoid flying hooves.

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Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#7
 MIDAS</style>
 A lone wolf stares back at me, long in the tooth but as harmless as he can be</style>

He was correct to think that I was curbing true potential; the power which surged in these limbs was like a gentle caress compared to a raw energy which could be released. It would never be my intent to break this family down, not even when one took a traitorous turn; and though they might seek blood for wounding them, forcing their feet to dance this awkward show of power. I'd never truly mean harm without heavenly creed demanding a price of plasma.

Had I truly wanted to bring Rostislav to his knees though these games would cease. Capable feathered limbs would open, spreading toward my birthright, (which was the atmosphere itself.) This body would become an unreachable target that could bend the very earth beneath toes to consume flesh. The grains stirring underneath our daggers would no longer have free access to cling upon my coat with grim and grit. instead, an authoritative layer of steel would slide forth. Covering fragile points. Sand, (which was everywhere) would become a tool and powerful ally. Fina was also trained in the art of battle, her wings didn’t just give the appearance of fire – they could burn flesh.

My golden feet found their mark, a satisfying grunt of pain fills these ears with both pleasure and a stirring of faint victory. I’d struck true against the solid wall of his barrel and it was lucky that hindfeet were solidly placed. His thick hide was like a tempered mountain, barely yielding, and though I felt the vibrations up to the point of nape, it doesn’t hinder movement for more than a heartbeat. By then my quarters had already begun to slide down into the dust cloud below; settling, steadying. I slipped toward earth, opening my right wing halfway for balance while raising skull and relishing the feel of pounding blood rushing back toward lower potions instead of dulling my senses by clotting ears.

This seasoned mind wasn’t so faint to think that my Legatus was finished, nay, I'd already halfway crumbled hindquarters when he attempted to strike the painted flesh along rump. Forefeet unlocked when hindfeet hit dirt, they shuffled this frame ahead to push a little distance between us. His hot breath came chasing on, millimeters from my right hindleg. Bleached tendrils slashed back and forth; smacking dual colored flanks sweetly and causing the muscles to tremble. They sought to protect by possibly stinging his horned mug should the draft boy continue this chase, while also pouring fuel to the fire that stirred his ambition.

I spun right, slicing my right appendages back to its protected position and thrusting toward my opponent’s right side. The fleshy muscles on my proud neck arched, bending head toward throat, attempting to protect the fragile folds of flesh during this attack. Honeyed gaze is narrow and watchful, paying mindful attention to that dangerous set of spears. Forelimbs quickened the pace and hindquarters bunched up, I thrust ahead attempting to push muscled right shoulder into his breast or adjacent shoulder--- teeth slide free, opening as my neck slithered forth simultaneously with the thrust. They opened to hopefully pinch into the side of his neck that was within reach.

OOC:

Attack (3/3)

Word count: 531



[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Rostislav Posts: 245
Hidden Account atk: 4.5 | def: 7.5 | dam: 7
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 15.1hh :: 7 (Frostfall) HP: 69.5 | Buff: ENDURE
Damaris :: Common Hellhound :: Acid Lauren
#8

Nothing every really seems to go as planned, does it? Certainly, that is the case with my spar against my king Midas. Taking him on was foolish from the start, but sometimes I suppose I'm just that type of fool. He has shown my weaknesses and yet taken pity on me. The mark of a good king, indeed. Point out my flaws and let me learn from them. In this case, my flaw is not my own fault, but simply a characteristic of my body: my lack of speed. I am heavier than my king, and though I try to reach his flanks, he is faster than I am and moves away with ease. My flints land hard on the firm ground and I grunt. The sweat that drips down my face and into my eyes blinds me to his response of a swishing tail, and I squeal with annoyance as his tail whips me in the face, stinging. I shake my head, the parts of my two toned mane not already pasted to my neck flinging and slapping me in the face. Body dark with sweat, sides heaving to get clean, dust-free air into my lungs.

Midas does not seem to mind the dust as much as I do, perhaps being from the Throat for so long he is accustomed to it in ways I could never be. He spins on his haunches and comes at me in all his painted, powerful glory. I feel there is nothing I can do to move out of the way, though I try with little hope of success. My flints move my body sideways, but it only gives him more room to sidle up next to me. His shoulders, defined muscles rippling, come at me, the right one plummeting freely into my own. I grunt as he knocks me to the side and I try to brace myself, holding my own wait and perhaps some of his as well. His teeth, unstained and yet so much more successful than my own, reach out for me, seeking to give my neck love bites. Love bites! Midas I do not feel that way and OUCH! please let go of my once pretty already marred pelt. I know I'm not as handsome as you but please don't make it any worse! A blood vessel or several pop under my skin and as his teeth hold tight I know I will have yet another bruise there. I shake my head, neck, and shoulders violently, knocking him from me. Pistons move me back and away from Midas quickly, in case he is thinking of any last second attacks just to make his point.

I wheeze and cough, trying to shake free the gunk that has found it's way into my throat. A dry mouth, desperate for water. I turn my crown up to look at him and see his calculating gaze, his rippling form. Clearly, there is much I have yet to learn, and perhaps one day I can bring myself before my king again and show him how I have improved, maybe even to best him. Until then, I shall admire his battle prowess from afar. I cough again, and hear paws scurrying toward me. Damaris is at my side, glaring accusingly at our king, and she noses my legs, licking my leg with the least amount of saliva that she can. It stings a little, but I appreciate the gesture. I glance from her to Midas. "It has been an honor to spar with you, Midas." I bow my head, showing my appreciation and respect for his might.


"Words."

Defense post.
WC: 603
OOC: Got hit in shoulder and neck bitten. Pretty straightfoward. Ready for judging ^_^
Rostislav
more than a drunken fool
x - x

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Official Posts: 847
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Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#9
By my verdict: MIDAS is the winner!
Midas receives 1 VP

MIDAS
Realism [+3.5]
:: I thought you did a great job weaving in comparisons between Midas and his opponent, as well as the scenery.
:: There were a couple moments with attacks were I was kind of wavering about whether or not the location you indicated would have been the most likely location for a hit. In both cases, I decided that where you had indicated was a reasonable location, but I still thought that other locations would have been more likely. For instance when bucking at Rosti’s chest, I thought it was more likely the hooves would have hit his ribs.


Emotion [+2]
:: “Measure carefully, Legatus.” I thought wistfully; it had been awhile since anyone dared step forward to vanquish my power, I welcomed the attempt and practice. It’s obvious you know your character well. This sentence, to me, seems to sum up much of Midas’ personality very succinctly. Good!
:: Good job in post three, I love Midas’ assessment of himself. Well done.


Prose [+2.5]
:: Flesh angled toward the opposite side, I push in the other direction, mirroring a circle. I’m still really confused about what this means.
:: but at least my flesh was still in-tact (for now.) Intact.
:: An unintentionally gasp lifted past my lips from the effort it took to rise and thrust hard. Unintentional.
:: slicing my right appendages back to its protected position Just one appendage.


Readability [+2]
:: There is a lack of clarity in your writing throughout your first post, which is in direct contrast to much of the writing I’ve seen from you in the past. The other two were much easier to read.


Finally tally: 65.5 + (10*2) = 85.5 HP

*******************************************

ROSTISLAV
Realism [+4.5]
:: My hooves kick up dust and dirt as I purposefully pound them into the ground. Good strategy and use of the surroundings
:: Paragraph two, post three- this was an excellent overview of your character compared to Midas, while still making it all seem very, very in character. Very well done.
:: I thought you took damage well and dealt well with Rosti’s two misses and all of your attacks were well planned.


Emotion [+2]
:: No rest for the weary, my mother always said. Okay, that's bullshit - I didn't really know my mother and no one ever said anything like that to me. Excellent! Great way to open your post by setting the tone for your character.
:: In the second post I like the emotion in reference to how he is feeling about being attacked, I’d like to see more of his motivation for sparing with Midas, though; especially since his attack to the chest could be quite dangerous/damaging. By the third post, though, you’ve given me what I wanted.


Prose [+3.5]
:: I'm a middle-aged wannabe drunkard who is testing his metal to prove himself. I think you meant ‘mettle’.
:: Lucky, luck as hell that Midas does not attack straight on Second one should be lucky as well, I believe.
:: I thought your third post was rather well done and I loved the variations on perspective. The transitions were well done and not distracting.


Readability [+3]
:: No concerns. Everything was well written and easy to follow.


Finally tally: 35 + (13*2) = 61 HP


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