the Rift


[JUDGED] No, I am not in distress. [Graveyard Champ - Kaj!]

Caneo Posts: 133
Hidden Account atk: 7.5 | def: 10.5 | dam: 2.5
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.3h :: 6 years HP: 61 | Buff: NOVICE
Ophiria :: Dragon Snake :: None kae
#1

        He wishes for nightfall. In the dark, perhaps his limbs would quiet down; perhaps his muscles wouldn’t stand out rigid, shaking like ropes overdrawn. Caneo sucks warm air into his lungs, and spring clings wet to the darkness in his chest. His heart is a drum, a pounding alarm, its erratic beat hard against the insides of his ribs. In answer to that, he moves. His stride takes him nervously forward, light sweeping steps like a dancer’s over the ground, so far from aggressive any bystander might wonder – and what brought you again?. Perhaps he is still looking for the girl, the knight with the sun at her back – but she is not here.

        Someone else is.

        The air around the stranger reeks with that sweet, dusty smell Caneo’s mind gives to birds. Feathers like shields hang over high, golden sides, and Caneo thinks of the sun again, and feels himself withering down. The boy is a slim, narrow thing, small now in the presence of the feathered king, his silver skin fine as velvet even if the muscle underneath stands out like wire thinned from steel. He does not know the man’s name, or what brings his opponent here; he does not know if those heavy hooves will come at him in killing blows, or not. His mind spins rapidly and slowly narrows down, attention flickering across the stronger, larger body, flickering so briefly to the other stud’s face in hasty effort to read whatever may be written there – but does it matter? If they are to fight, as the others are fighting, Caneo ought not waste time looking. He mills nervously a little longer, his circling dance familiar, maybe, to anyone who has seen dogs about to fight. He is not a knight; he is not a king. Thin veils of something delicate hang over his too-sharp angles, fluttering with his movement, swaying demure in the morning light. His tail lashes once, a betrayal of the fear coiling in him like a snake, and the silver bands down its length all flash – once. Then suddenly his nervous dance is done and he moves, a quick thrust of his narrow legs fast as the glint of light off his too-short horn.

        He thrusts forward in a straight line, and suddenly his ears are back, pressed hard against the crown of his skull, dainty silver wires gleaming beneath them for the briefest moment. He leads with that dagger-horn, the cut aimed somewhere for the other stallion’s shoulder, on the left side, just before the wing. Then halfway through the leap Caneo thinks better of it, imagines flesh giving way to his assault, imagines the golden man plowing forward into him, crushing him with no effort at all. The silver boy’s front hooves slam down again and wild-eyed he cuts the motion short. His haunches tremble; muscle pulls again at bone and he swerves to the right, toward the golden man’s haunches, his head down. He tries to duck under the massive sweep of that wing, his head lowered against any possible assault, as his hind hooves come up instead. Graceless, flinging his body about like a newborn, he aims a kick for the same shoulder, cloven toes swinging fast through the air. One eye cocks back to watch, as if unable to believe the move at all, himself. Thin fabric swings unhelpfully across his vision, as if laughing at him. He cannot imagine hurting this man but he will try, all the same. No one is coming to do it for him.

_____________________________________________________

attack: 1/2
word count: 591 words
notes: Caneo is dressed as a princess. He is wearing a narrow silver circlet across his brow, fastened to his horn. A fine veil of mostly transparent white material hangs down from it and over his nose, with an opening around his eyes. A half-blanket of similar material drapes his haunches, and connects to his tail via a series of thick silver bands.
--
He opened with a feint toward Kaj's left shoulder, then turned and kicked with both hind legs at the same shoulder, ducking in case Kaj lifted up his wing and tried to hit with it.

sxc.hu

Kaj The Aurelight Posts: 381
Hidden Falls Conscript atk: 4.0 | def: 9.0 | dam: 7.5
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2hh :: 8 Years 9 Months HP: 69.5 | Buff: ENDURE
Arabella :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya Brit
#2

Kaj

comets fell from the sky
I took your breath, you took my sorrow


From a mask of scaled ferocity, the king masquerades as but another challenger, sky blues fierce in the slots of the fitted adornment. Inspired by the ghouls of the night, and by Lace’s beautiful draconic armor, Kaj stalks through the plainly lit field with clawed covers upon his hooves, awaiting his opponent’s appearance; a dragon he becomes for the afternoon, the soul of his missing leader granting strength through memory. The gaggle of fighters clamor about, drawing attention only until they are deemed harmless, consumed in their own reckless desires. Why they fight, Kaj doesn’t know. Doesn’t care to know, truly. As he strides through the dewy grasses, eyes sweeping slowly over the unpaired fighters, he can’t withhold a snort of self-deprecating amusement as the bulky tail strapped to the dock of his tail drags pathetically upon the dirt. The sharp tips of the dragon spade tail are useful, but a burden nonetheless, one Kaj doesn’t need with his lack of agility. Crown turns to glare balefully at the burdensome item, peering past the harness that laced pointed spikes down the length of his spine. As he turns back round, there is already a challenger approaching, and bitterness sweeps through him at his inattentiveness. Teeth grit as he instinctively leaps to meet his foe, attempting to consider all aspects of the other stallion in the shortened time span.

He is but a colt, lanky in youth but already sprouted tall enough to challenge Kaj’s considerable height. Slim, built for speed instead of brute force like Kaj. Hesitation slows Kaj’s thundering gait, tail flopping uselessly behind him as clawed hooves dig into the soft soil. Should he truly be fighting such a sprout of a stag? The building feint eradicates all hesitation, solidifying his decision with a cast of wild eyes upon Kaj’s form. No, if the babe wants to fight like a man, then Kaj shall thrust him to the dirt and show him the pain he desired to have the ability to inflict upon others.

Memories of Bronze spring to mind as those same wicked spirals of keratin aim for his wing, blasphemous and dangerous, too serious a weapon for a match such as the one held in the field. Anger swims in his vision, clamping his wing tight to bodice as he had with the dual-daggered foe of his past, curving to the left towards the babe in hopes of closing in. Close combat is his best bet, granting more ability for his mass to be used to his advantage. The feint is successful, and Kaj’s eyes widened beneath the dragon mask, fear bleeding thick and pungent in his blood. His wing! A weapon and weakness in one, the speed of the babe comes into play and Kaj can see in liquidized time the approach of hooves. Kaj’s heart pounded until his head was dizzy, fearing as any bird does the crippling of his wings, the stripping of his freedom. Impact rips him from his head, his turn mostly fruitless, but it spares the bone of his wing from fracture and ultimate death sentence for the babe.

FOOLISH! His head roars, a lion, and all Helovian dialect vanishes in his blind rage as pain sears through his left ribs and the arch of his wing. It hurts, more than Kaj thought possible, and the delicate radius bone fractured beneath the snap of the babe’s hooves, glancing but more than enough to damage such a delicate bone. Fear battles rage as Kaj fights the urge to turn from the pain, his mind a swarm of dizziness and the sense of pervading loss. He wants to strip the babe from his skin, eviscerate him with his own horn. It was an unspoken law that such appendages, horns and wings, were never to be broken or maimed in spars and battles with no involvement of usurpation and dominance. The bellow of pain gapes his jaws, and Kaj used the subtly protruding claws of his hoof covers to whip to the left, half-rearing with wild eyes streaked with pink pain in the crazed whites as he aimed to scrape the claws upon his hooves down the length of the babe’s left lower thigh to hock as his hooves returned to earth. Using the downward momentum, ribs aching with the movement, Kaj aimed his jaws for the empty spaces of spine between the silver rings, wild with pain and the need for revenge. Nobody stole his freedom! Especially not some new weanling with no respect for the chivalry and glory of battle. Kaj would grind him to the earth and bite his nape like a rabid wolf, teach him respect, and snap the dagger from his crown in retribution.



Notes: Kaj is dressed as a dragon! A dragon mask that is secured by holes that go round his ears, slits for eyes and nostrils, and jagged teeth that don't go past his upper lip. Has a thin stuffed tail with a spade end, sharp edges, attached by a metal band on the dock of his tail. Hoof covers with claws that barely protrude past his hooves, like mini cleats. Has a harness with a loin and quarter strap with a strap that goes along his spine with small sharp spikes.

Summary: Radius bone of his wing fractures, not a clean break, bruises beneath the wing. Turns a harsh left, half-rears and aims to claw down Caneo's left thigh and bite his spine on the downward blow.

{786/800} && {1/2}

@[Caneo]

Credits

credit bronzehalo
Please only tag starting posts, spars, and threads collecting dust!
Plot with me here!

Caneo Posts: 133
Hidden Account atk: 7.5 | def: 10.5 | dam: 2.5
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.3h :: 6 years HP: 61 | Buff: NOVICE
Ophiria :: Dragon Snake :: None kae
#3

        A hit! Something cracks under the pressure, a minute surrender of the stranger’s body, and triumph thrills through the silver boy’s veins. Dumbfounded, he sails forward only on momentum, eyes like marbles slanted, glassy, toward the king. Perhaps this is not so terrible; perhaps Caneo may fight, and win, and live to tell Tandavi of his conquering a dragon even without help.

        Now hit, the dragon roars.

        Caneo’s little victory is short-lived. His moment of celebration is the mistake of a novice. Where he should have followed the first attack with a second, a third, he does nothing, and the man – the monster – rises to teach that lesson in the hardest way. The beast’s shadow crawls long and terrible over the grass, striping Caneo’s pale skin in black. It paints the morning dark before the creature falls.

        The dragon falls hard, an avalanche of golden light. No kindness lurks in the crazed eyes under the mask. Instead hooves tipped in knives rake down without mercy through the fine, unyielding meat of the boy’s haunch. Wet riverbeds open up through Caneo’s flesh; blood oozes from the thick muscle, painting livid tracks over soft hair, as gauzy streamers tear apart and flutter lifelessly. The pain is like fire, a white heat searing down through the thick muscle, and it screams from the top of his thigh to the bottom, scraping the outside of his hock with killing force. If he were wiser, he might thank whatever gods still notice him for getting through it all without shattering bones.

        He is not wise.

        A shrill cry erupts from the boy’s chest, pain mingling with indignation. Gone is triumph; gone is victory. He knows only hurt and the dragon’s weight at his back, so close to crushing him. Fear sizzles in his every nerve; his mind blanks, a single instinct screaming Run! Caneo’s body responds with the speed inherent to a creature long accustomed to danger. His muscles seize and ripple, and desperately he jolts forward, only to stagger with another cry. The pain now shooting through his left hind leg is foreign, a parasite attached to his skin, streaming down the lovely flesh in brilliant crimson streams. He catches the color in periphery: his life’s blood leaking out, hot, to slick the grass. Even as he looks, the monster continues to move: teeth clamp down like a vice on the top of the boy’s tail bone. With little more than hair to cover the vertebra, the beast’s teeth grate hard through thin skin, drawing more blood. Scraps of flesh tear away. Caneo will die. The dragon will devour him; it does so now, impatiently.

        Some fragile thing within the boy snaps; his ears slick down hard, and his mouth gapes open, young teeth pale against dark lips. Crippled, he cannot flee. He moves instead with all the wisdom, all the feral strength, of a wolf caught in a trap. The dragon’s rear end is to the left, thick muscle drawn taut under the golden flesh. Caneo surges toward it. Hard muscle under the silver skin hauls forward, dragging the injured limb along with it. Luckily, his right hind remains healthy. Caneo uses it to shove off and forward, his lean haunches trembling, and pain shoots through him with every twitch of the muscles in his other thigh. It is nothing compared to death; he snarls through it, and his head, still lowered, rises to slice at the king’s left haunch. That dagger-horn, useless in the rapier-play of other unicorns, aims to flay open the flesh between stifle and flank, and to cripple the man as Caneo is crippled. It is not a thinking move; it is a desperate, struggling attack, a wild swinging of his head. He has never used the horn this way, but something in him, some wild thing, knows what to do with the killing point. He must hope his aim is true.

        Fierce though he is in the moment, the boy remains no soldier. With the motion through, he continues forward, hoping to flee past the dragon’s hind end. He expects pursuit, but the battle of merely hauling his wounded self onward encompasses most of his failing attention. That left limb hangs uselessly, the toes pressing lightly into the grass. His tail whips back and forth in anger, and strips of torn silk flicker through the air, clinging to the blood. Head down again, the boy arches his back and kicks out. The right limb arcs blindly through the air, expressing only frustration; the left hangs as if atrophied. Whether or not he has hit flesh, Canoe hardly cares. He wants only to be away. He wants this stupid costume gone, this slick grass gone. He wants the desert back, and the moon.

_____________________________________________________

attack: 2/2
word count: 794 words
notes: Kaj's raking attack gouged furrows all the way down Caneo's thigh and scraped the outside of his hock, but didn't damage the joint. The muscle is now so painful it is mostly useless. Kaj's bite ripped off skin from the top of Caneo's tail. Caneo tried to chase Kaj's haunches and flay open some part of the skin and muscle between stifle and flank on the left side using his horn. He then tried to move forward past Kaj's rump, and kicked out blindly, his right leg swinging through the air.

sxc.hu

Kaj The Aurelight Posts: 381
Hidden Falls Conscript atk: 4.0 | def: 9.0 | dam: 7.5
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2hh :: 8 Years 9 Months HP: 69.5 | Buff: ENDURE
Arabella :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya Brit
#4
Pain eradicates all higher thinking, dissolving his brain like a corrosive substance until all Kaj can hunger for and focus on is retribution. The babe is a foolish, inexperienced fighter, the king's bellow knocking through his brain so apparently it's almost worthy of sympathy. The babe has not yet learned to conceal his expressions. Kaj has lost the potential to rectify that, the pain of his wing a sizzling fire that burns his reasoning into shards. His breaths are heavy and pained with the bruising of his left ribs, but they explode from his nares like a real dragon's fiery exhales. Hot and enraged as he whirls towards the babe, who is frozen with fright like a startled rabbit beneath Kaj's looming shadow in the afternoon sun. Kaj's mind only recognizes this as prey. Dissolves into his fury, and lunges.

Resistance claws up his foreleg as the tips of his covers rake through the babe's skin, chewing through flesh as impact radiates up Kaj's hooves. The fire of his anger is hot, and his primitive mindset causes him to reach for his magic. Sizzling, electric. Summons it to his skin, faltering only as his lower jaw smashes into solid frame. Instinctively he clamps down as best he can, sickly pleased with the success. Even as he loses his prey to slim legs and faster frame, Kaj can only feel the encouragement this spreads. He will become the hunter, will trap the babe beneath his clawed paws and torture him, dangle him by the tail before eating him whole. Kaj will injure him as much as he can, teach him the severity of stripping a pegasus of flight.

Claws dig into soft earth, pursuit immediate as his successful lunge transfered to motion. Turning is his downfall. The tiny thing is too fast, and Kaj's control slips on his magic, exploding from his skin in a sizzle of electricity. It is unnoticed, consumes by the forefront of agony. A horn digs into his flank, deep and shredding as it rips towards his left hindquarter. Fear closes in. How can he be losing to such a talentless child? It is the dagger upon his brow that topples him from his throne, a torture device that makes Kaj think of Tonka's wicked, psychotic ways. Is it truly such a disadvantage to have no adornment? His heart palpates thickly, as if his blood is syrup. Kaj is Goliath, beneath the vapid sun. Felled by tiny David and his stone.

Ripping free, his left hind leg goes lame with the severity of the pain. Turning to the right is impossible with how he has forced his body to turn, even if Kaj wants only to flee from that pain. So he is hit squarely through the feathers of his wings with a lame kick, the weight and power lacking with how Kaj had wounded the babe. Already short of breath, the beast is left staggering, eyes dotted with black. No, he doesn't want this! He can't fall beneath a child's lucky blows and violent dagger! His people...he cannot return to them cowed and beaten by a mere colt.

Leaning heavily on his right side he made a desperate lunge towards the fleeing hindquarters, teeth bared towards the babe's injured side, aiming for his left flank. Feels his magic charge through his teeth, hoping to shoot the electricity through the babe's muscles. Desperate. Fearful.

Weak.

Wrote this on my phone so Caneo can at least advance <3 569~ words

credit bronzehalo
Please only tag starting posts, spars, and threads collecting dust!
Plot with me here!

Caneo Posts: 133
Hidden Account atk: 7.5 | def: 10.5 | dam: 2.5
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.3h :: 6 years HP: 61 | Buff: NOVICE
Ophiria :: Dragon Snake :: None kae
#5

        Something is strange about the golden king. The air around him sizzles – Caneo notices this through a haze of pain and bitter fear, but the phenomenon slips past his thinking mind. That first little burst of electricity, let loose before Caneo’s horn strikes flesh, is quickly forgotten in the rush and tumble of frantic escape just afterward. The silver boy staggers away with no ill effect, blood dripping from the curved point of his narrow weapon. Perhaps he ought to feel joy again, but he feels only the oppressive closeness of his enemy, the driving need to be away.

        Even his hind hoof striking wing does little to settle Caneo’s nerves. His blue eyes roll in his narrow skull, as cloven toes clutch frantically at the grass. The other man is simply too big, and too powerful, to ever be felled. If Caneo had been wiser, if he had run way rather than take part... He feels the earth rumble as the dragon-man spins, heavy hooves bearing down in hot pursuit.

        Caneo can do little to flee. He thrusts forward, his wounded hops graceless. He ought to be grateful he flees over meadow ground and not the sand of his distant home, but he feels nothing beyond the awful prickling of his nerves. His long neck turns just enough to grant a vantage of the titan bearing down on him, blood dripping down the golden haunch, fractured wing tucked close. Caneo is too green to see these little victories for what they are – new weaknesses. He sees only too little damage done, his own struggle to avoid an end poorly concluded. He squeals, a shrill noise building in his chest to match the delicate drape of his ruined costume, its ribbons fluttering sadly along his sides.

        He shudders forward just enough to avoid the ending he fears. Rather than the cascade of pain he expects, the crushing weight of the golden man smashing him to the ground, Caneo feels only the sharp pinch of teeth meeting his left flank. It is a little sharper than it should be, perhaps, as sparks leap between Kaj’s grasping mouth and Caneo’s skin, but the boy is able to rush forward just enough to deny purchase, and to deny more damage than the stinging he feels – like a little cluster of bees. He will notice it more later, perhaps, when the bruise has set in, but now his tail thrashes in acknowledgement of rage. He simply continues to move away, done with this battle, and done with the king.

_____________________________________________________

defense
word count: 425 words
notes: He took no damage from the little burst of electricity (I wasn't really sure if I ought to interpret that as an attack?). Kaj did manage to bite his flank, and the electric attack stung, and the bite caused bruising, but as Caneo was moving at the time the bite didn't really grab anything and therefore was fairly minimal.
---
Realizing I misunderstood how taking damage is supposed to work when I made my second attack post >_> I hope this one is better aligned with how it should be? :\
---
Anyway, this was fun Brit and I apologize if you felt rushed. I'm glad I got you as my first spar partner!

sxc.hu

NPC Posts: 298
User-based Random Event
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
#6
By my verdict: CANEO is the winner!

CANEO
Realism [+4]
I was dying when I read you had dressed poor Caneo up as a princess! I just wish I could have better inferred that from your post, rather than your summary. You wrote about the costume, but I only had puzzle pieces of what it was from the post’s body. However you consistently employed the costume in each post, even having it block Caneo’s vision in the first, which was excellent!

You have a strong eye for fighting with great and very realistic responses to attacks and defenses. You have great timing and movement, mentioned surroundings a bit and breed even further. I really enjoyed how much you employed your injury throughout the fight, although I think you took too much damage in your first post given that the damage was 3/6. A completely lame leg such as you described would be more fitting of a 6 damage, least of all that and a bitten spine. However you took excellent damage in your last post.

Overall, fantastic realism!


Emotion [+2.5]
I haven’t read Caneo until now and this thread made me fall in love with him. You brought him to life in each post, giving motive and feeling to every event that occurred. Loved it.


Prose [+5]
You have some truly beautiful writing. I really enjoyed the imagery you employed and the wonderful flow all throughout.


Readability [+3]
Readable all throughout. Especially good in that first post with describing your attacks.


Finally tally: 43+(14.5*2)= 72 HP

*******************************************

KAJ
Realism [+3]
I really loved Kaj’s costume, I thought it was adorable <3 I’d also liked to have gotten a better feel of what all the costume entailed from your post than your summary. I learned some things from the post, but didn’t get the whole picture from it. I also saw you utilizing the costume too much to your benefit, and not to your disadvantage. A costume that’s bulky like that, especially with a mask, would definitely have hindered you throughout the fight. I also consider the costumes to be like what you’d pick up to wear from a halloween store, fabrics, plastic, foam, etc. not metal which gives you dagger hooves - if you’re ever unsure about the limits of your costumes, please feel free to ask us and we’ll be happy to let you know!

You had great attacks and defenses, and I really liked Kaj considering some of his past fighting experiences during this battle. There was some mention of surroundings and a good reference to Caneo’s breed/stat differences and height differences all throughout which was awesome. Your injuries were well described, although I think you took too much damage with the fracture in your first post. I generally shy away from fractured/broken bones in general, and even then only with the max damage (6), which although in that post it was a 5 damage, still didn’t need to be so severe. Even with a 6 damage though, injured bones have a place only if extremely realistic, which in this case I didn’t think it was. Caneo is a lighter breed, which you mentioned several times, so he shouldn’t have had the strength. Now he was aiming near your wing area, but he did not directly aim at it, you targeted it there, so again the fracture just didn’t seem necessary, and it didn’t seem to come into play enough in your next post to sustain the drama of such a severe wound. I thought you took excellent damage in your last post though.

Overall, great job with the attacks and breed references!


Emotion [+2.5]
Kaj could be felt throughout your posts, particularly in your last one as he struggled with his pride at falling to a younger, less experienced fighter, which I loved seeing.


Prose [+2.5]
You have some lovely writing and metaphors, but it felt choppy and blocky in some places, and was definitely rushed in your second post which took away from the overall effect.


Readability [+2.5]
Your posts were very readable, just a couple missed commas and sometimes some weird tense interchanges in your first post.


Finally tally: 45+(10.5*2)= 66 HP


Kaj still continues to round 2 due to having the highest judged score among the non victorious fighters!


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