the Rift


[JUDGED] Flames on the Water [Grave Champ - Biru]

Caneo Posts: 133
Hidden Account atk: 7.5 | def: 10.5 | dam: 2.5
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.3h :: 6 years HP: 61 | Buff: NOVICE
Ophiria :: Dragon Snake :: None kae
#1

        The moon is a sickle above him. She has come early, promising night even as the sun wallows burning on a watery horizon. Caneo tastes dusk in the back of his throat. He tastes it in the cold bitterness of the waves and the long, hungry reach of eager shadows. Briefly, his pale gaze narrows and he watches the sea from his vantage point on this carcass of metal and dead wood. The moon will be there soon, reflected on the waves. It reminds him of something distant, a deep voice roaring a battle cry, telling him to run.

        He will not run today.

        Quickly, his attention snaps from reverie to the present. Earlier, he saved himself from the dragon. He is in danger once more, with strange dead trees rising from the cracked wood underfoot, and strange leaves billowing from their boughs. His ears twitch to the noise of garbled voices above; his eyes track the movement of small figures dressed in too-bright skins. A shudder, something like revulsion, tracks down the boy’s spine. He is too delicate to be here. He remains a thing of grace, his narrow body draped in folds of silk, from the veil trailing over a long face to the half-blanket swaying gently over his haunches. The boy’s tail twitches, and the silver bands down its length glint in the dying light. His layers of silk do little to hide the stark, bony shape of the body beneath. They do nothing to hide the stunted, keen-edged horn upon his brow. He wears that like a gemstone set in the top of his thin silver crown. There is danger in him, now, with the daylight slowly drowning and the sea denying him escape.

        He blinks, pale eyes finding the dark shape on the other side of the deck. It wears deep blue as if to echo the sea, and though it stands no taller than the silver boy, its darkness stretches wider than his fragile bones could ever dream. His eyes narrow over the broad limbs, skirt quietly up to the gleaming horn between the eyes – golden. It comes to a rapier edge, a promise of danger, and Caneo’s attention all focuses there at the tip. The silver boy moves then, and the deck under his hooves moves, too, so his gait is half grace and half uncertain staggering, tail held out like a counterbalance. He knows now two things: this other boy is heavier than he, and the stranger’s horn is dangerous but very long. The absence of wings means he ought to find other targets than those he picked out on the golden king; he looks at the boy’s muscular flanks, at the powerful legs. The boat rocks again, its cradle restless under a creaking bow, and when the deck tilts just enough to give him the implication of higher ground, his careful dance becomes a charge.

        Like thunder, the hollow footing rumbles beneath the boy’s cloven hooves. He swallows the distance of the last two strides with a bound, his limbs folding gracefully and snapping out to catch his weight. He hopes the movement is sudden, fearsome, confusing. He moves quickly as if doing so will leave his fear behind. Thinking of the last fight, Caneo approaches with his head low, ears pinned, skinny face a strange mask of wild-eyed uncertainty and killing solemnity. He aims at first for the stranger’s left shoulder, his skinny body thrusting forward hard, but just before he reaches it Caneo veers off and aims for the flank instead, his head raking up, eager to bring the point of his horn through flesh. He will cripple the enemy now, and when it can’t move, he will be free to do as he wants.

        The silver boy doesn’t waste time lingering after his strike. He keeps moving instead, aiming to clatter past the stranger’s haunches. Caneo’s own hind hooves surge up as he moves to aim a haphazard kick at the black and blue ribs on the left side. He wants to hurt as much as he can as fast as he can. His blood will not be coloring the moonlit waves tonight; he will not be falling with the sun. His head is up, his pale eyes scanning the deck, prepared to turn just before his hurtling body meets the railing at the edge. He is late in spying something from the sidelines coming at them both: one of the little creatures, with its own curved sword, coming forward with the thin edge gleaming in the light. He is not certain what it means, but he counts it as much a threat as the other boy, and keeps one ear cocked in that direction.

_____________________________________________________

attack: 1/2
word count: 787 words
notes: Caneo is dressed as a princess. He is wearing a narrow silver circlet across his brow, fastened to his horn. A fine veil of mostly transparent white material hangs down from it and over his nose, with an opening around his eyes. A half-blanket of similar material drapes his haunches, and connects to his tail via a series of thick silver bands.
--
He made a feint with his horn toward Biru's left shoulder, then actually attacked farther back, aiming to draw the point up Biru's left flank. He intended to keep moving past Biru's haunches, and aimed a kick at the ribs on the left side, as well. I am assuming Anabelle is present, but your profile says she usually sticks to the sidelines in fights, so Caneo has not noticed her yet.
--
@[Biru] do you want to be tagged throughout?

sxc.hu

Biru Posts: 33
Up For Adoption atk: 3.5 | def: 7 | dam: 7.5
Stallion :: Hybrid :: 16.3 Hands :: 3 HP: 62.5 | Buff: NOVICE
Annabelle :: Royal Cerndyr :: Dark Mist Adoptable
#2
Biru
Both Biru and Annabelle are deep asleep, tuckered out from the days previous where a disgusting bird had tried to take them down. That fight was much simpler than what was to come, that was certain.

A quaking feeling dragged the two out of a deep sleep. Annabelle was the first to awaken, quickly bleating for her bonded to stand. As his bloody eyes open, he is greeted with quite a sight. They are both inside of a large ship; waves can be heard crashing against the wooden bow. The boat groans at the weight of the water, they aren’t tsunamis, but the waves are enough to cause the boat great discomfort.

Biru clambers to his feet, finding the wooden ground to be a less than desired fighting arena. Was this some sick joke? Because they were no doubt brought here by the forces that run this little competition. If this was only the second round… oh god. Annabelle squeaked in fear, this competition was becoming much more dire than they had anticipated.

The two glanced at each other, noticing they were still in costume. Biru still had his little felt jacket that hugged his chest, and ended halfway down his back. Two little holes allowed his front legs to fit through. Even his menacing red smile was still plastered on his face. Biru was still a joker, and Annabelle was still Poison Ivy. Her body covered in green, and her neck and butt covered in red for her “hair”. However, they weren’t the only ones on this godforsaken ship; in fact, there were two more. One was the most feminine little stallion Biru had ever seen. Upon his head he wore a little silver circlet with a little veil. Biru feigned a laugh, while Annabelle bellowed out in laughter, but she did not stick around.

Annabelle bolted to a far corner of the ship, slinking into a shadow to save herself. She sent an image of what she had seen to her bonded, a curved sword. In no time, Biru saw what Annabelle had warned him about. A human holding a cutlass, was after both him and the princess groom.

However, the human killer isn’t as close as this princess is. Boy-girl bounds forward, reaching for Biru’s left shoulder. Biru braces himself, too confused by his just-awakened brain to process exactly what is going on, so when Princess hits, he hits hard.

Princess had feigned toward his shoulder, and Biru could not defend himself from this attack to his flank. Biru tries to move right, but Caneo’s white horn rakes up his left flank, leaving a four-inch long shallow cut. Luckily, it does not bleed. Annabelle, who had remained quiet for most of this, finally calls out, trying to warn Biru that Caneo is not done. From the corner of his eye, Biru can see Caneo attempt to move further back. Biru decided he wasn’t going to stick around to find out what he was going to do.

Alas, he still is to slow. He attempts to move forward, but Caneo’s hooves land squarely on the wound given by his horn. Biru grunts, feeling electricity circulate around the left side of his barrel. It would make turning feel like shit no doubt. Feeling Biru succumbing to Caneo’s attack, Annabelle decides it is time she steps in. Summoning her newfound magic, she tries to bring up her dark smoke around Caneo. She had seen it confuse others, so she hoped this would give Biru a chance.

Taking her cue, Biru turns to his right to circle around. He can feel the wound opening as his muscles stretch to aid in this turn. It feels like pins are being stuck in his side, but he cannot hesitate. Hopefully facing Caeno’s rear, Biru begins to move forward. However, the quaking of the ship is not easy to ignore. As he lowers his horn to attack, his body stumbles to the right from the force of waves from the left. So, instead of aiming to poke straight at Caneo’s ass, Biru’s horn is positioned now to poke and scrape at Caneo’s right quarter. When Biru thinks he is close enough, he pulls his head up, trying to scrap him too.

Biru, after trying to stab him with his horn attempted to move to Caneo’s right, and as the waves came from the right, tried to thrust Caneo to the left. Hopefully, the extra force with the waves would push him over. Annabelle bleated in encouragement, but continually sent him images of the human who was approaching quickly. This human seemed to be out for blood.

[ 772 Words :: 1/2 :: @[Caneo] would you like a tag also? (just did it this time so the post isn't lost.)]
[Yes please with the tag. <3]
[Summary: Biru is the Joker and Annabelle is Poison Ivy! Biru attempted to circle around and scrape up Caneo's right quarter, and then tried to push Caneo to the left. While Biru was turning Annabelle used her dark mist ability.]
Smoke & Mirrors
Image Credit

Caneo Posts: 133
Hidden Account atk: 7.5 | def: 10.5 | dam: 2.5
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.3h :: 6 years HP: 61 | Buff: NOVICE
Ophiria :: Dragon Snake :: None kae
#3

        Confusion rattles in Caneo’s brain. His aim has proven true, the proof of it a narrow slash through the black and blue flank. He expects to feel pain in return. Everything he knows of fighting, everything learned in his desperate struggle with the dragon-king, tells him to prepare for a counterattack.

        The boy sails away free.

        Like a man hewn of stone, this new opponent reacts at half speed. Caneo’s hooves slam into flesh, the ripple of impact a red thrill in his nerves, before the spotted boy even seems to wake up. Perhaps this new opponent means no harm? One silver ear twitches as confusion breaks through the desperate rush of Caneo’s first attack. He slows, long legs drawing beneath him, as the pitch of the deck thrusts his bony left side against a nearby railing. For a moment then Caneo leans there, head cocked back, blue eyes reflecting the strange hue of the enemy. It wears a fake smile, though the expression does little to lighten up the dull red of those eyes. Caneo is nimble in comparison; this realization breaks into his mind like the sear of sunlight over the water.

        He grows complacent.

        Triumph will ever be Caneo’s downfall. In hesitating, he invites a new attack from an unexpected corner: an errant cloud grows nearby, dark and ominous. With a snort the boy leaps away, rushing back across the deck. His weight is everywhere at once, a nervous clatter of excited hooves. Behind him, the shadow of his enemy lowers a golden rapier at last. Caneo’s answer is simple, immediate; his haunches lift up, preventing the horn from striking flesh and aiming to strike it instead, to cleave off the end with the force of flying hooves. Caneo is learning to use his haunches; he peers back, squinting through the flying mess of his veil, to gauge the hit. Some deep part of him, something he recognizes only distantly, hungers to hear a snap and to feel the weapon break.

        This smiling creature is not finished, of course. It swings toward him with the lurching tide, using his first strategy in turn against him. Fear bolts through silver nerves again. Eyes rolling, Caneo darts to the left. The thought of contact with this enemy repulses him; he will flee around the deck forever before he submits to fighting close. His hooves scrape against uneven boards, his weight bracing against the haphazard support of warped lumber and crooked nails. The sun, reluctant still to let a dark horizon swallow it for good, burns in the silver boy’s eyes. His costume glows with a radiant light; the bands along his tail spark silver. Still, Caneo finds himself blind to the beauty of it. He squints bitterly against the light and his only sense is pain, as a sudden line of brilliant fire opens up along his shoulder.

        With a squeal, Caneo dodges left and forward, tail lashing, confusion bright in his eyes. The joker was behind him – what is going on? He glimpses a little shadow then, and the flash of a longer blade than his own. That two-legged creature, so quickly forgotten despite his concern, has caught him as he crossed back over the deck. The tip of her blade runs dark with blood to match the shallow scrape across Caneo’s right shoulder. Rivulets of blood stain Caneo’s silver flesh; it stings. With an indignant squeal he bolts, reckless and shining, toward the narrow walkway at the back of the room.

        He forgets the spotted boy as he runs. Flight, that strongest of all his instincts, burns through his mind.

_____________________________________________________


attack: 2/2
word count: 603 words
notes: He ran away from the dark mist, and so was running back across the deck as Biru moved to stab, so he was a bit in front of the motion and instead of being scraped by it, kicked at Biru's horn/face with his back legs. When Biru tried to ram, Caneo changed direction slightly to run further left, toward the walkways at the back of the room. In doing so, he ran back into the pirate and she slashed his shoulder. He was so confused and surprised he kept running, hoping to reach the narrow walkway.
--
@[Biru] no need to tag me :)

sxc.hu

Biru Posts: 33
Up For Adoption atk: 3.5 | def: 7 | dam: 7.5
Stallion :: Hybrid :: 16.3 Hands :: 3 HP: 62.5 | Buff: NOVICE
Annabelle :: Royal Cerndyr :: Dark Mist Adoptable
#4
Biru
He thinks he is doing well, but that soon proves to be very, very wrong.

It all starts with the mist. Annabelle, in her confusion and fear, had completely missed where Caneo was standing. She didn’t even realize that until her bonded, in both attacks hit nothing but air. Even worse, the princess turned Biru’s attack against him.

Before Biru’s confused and defeated mind can even process it, hooves come flying at his face. In a knee jerk reaction, Biru throws his head into the air, a move to at least keep his horn firmly attached to his head. The Princess hit hard, his dainty little feet landing squarely against Biru’s jaw. The left side of his face seemed to explode with pain, stars crossed his eyes, and his once cocky, bloody smile had been smeared into a frown. Annabelle screamed, curling up against the corner of the deck even more. How could a princess be so terrifying?

With one more rock of the boat, Biru’s sight had cleared. His brain, however, was still in shock. At the moment, he can see the human attack this princess. He watches, in odd amusement, as it cuts into his soft, grey flesh. Biru wants to attack then, but he can’t, he still needs a few moments.

He doesn’t have moments though, as soon as the human is done with Princess, it comes running after Biru. The cutlass gleams in the reflection of the crescent moon as the human raises it. Biru jumps to the side, showing his right to the pirate. The cutlass comes down upon his green sweater, easily cutting the thin fabric and into the skin of his shoulder. Biru expected it to burn as much as the bruise on his face, but it didn’t. The metal slid so cleanly through his skin, he could barely tell it was there. What he didn’t know, was that the wound was bleeding, and rather profusely. The red liquid poured from the wound, staining the right side of his jacket a deep, disgusting red color. Annabelle, who was by now so stressed, passed out in the corner, she was not used to her bonded getting so beat up.

Feeling enraged by his bondeds distressed, and not wanting to get sliced again, Biru followed behind Caneo. This princess would pay for the pain! The boat rocks, creaks and groans as he runs across the uneven boards. Nails stick up awkwardly along the deck, and Biru is careful to dodge them. There is no way he can take a nail into his hoof right now.

Hoping to move behind Caneo, he no longer cares about his pain. Biru cannot feel his face burning; he can’t feel the shallow wound on his left flank, or the uncomfortable rubbing of fabric against an open wound. Instead, he feels a burning rage bubbling inside of him. This princess just kept running! He had no dignity! Instead of fighting like a man, he runs like a scared little baby!

Hopefully still behind Caneo, Biru reaches out towards his left hind leg, and snaps down. Biru wants to bite straight through his cannon bone if he can. Biru wants to make him limp off this ship. He doesn’t even care anymore if he kicks or not, Biru is more than ready to loose a set of teeth than to let Princess get away with this.

[ 565 Words :: 2/2]
[Summary: Takes hooves to the face, and is sliced down his right shoulder by the cutlass. Attempts to follow behind Caneo, and bite at his hind cannon bone to make him fall.]
Smoke & Mirrors
Image Credit

Caneo Posts: 133
Hidden Account atk: 7.5 | def: 10.5 | dam: 2.5
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.3h :: 6 years HP: 61 | Buff: NOVICE
Ophiria :: Dragon Snake :: None kae
#5

        He meant only to gain better ground.

        Though the silver boy knows flight far better than swordplay, he understands how futile any attempt at real escape might be. He wants only to put distance between himself and that crazed two-legged thing, expecting the black and blue creature to follow. He means to squeeze through the walkway and into whatever space lies beyond, where he might turn and rake at his foe again, or show the other boy his hooves for a third time. The stranger does no good at dodging them; that broader body is slow, and the mind behind the red eyes dull.

        Caneo judges this with certainty.

        Perhaps the silver boy overestimates himself. Perhaps he mistakes a little too much luck for skill, and that is why he bothers to cock one eye back as he nears the chokepoint of the walkway. His idiotic veil swings still across his features, and combined with the impressive light of that stubborn, bloated star on the horizon, forces the boy to narrow his eyes. His attention flickers across the point of the golden horn at his back. The enemy lost ground in a brief struggle with the two-legged creature; blood washes over the dark hide, much as blood runs in small rivulets down Caneo’s lean shoulder. The wound on the silver flesh is shallow, though. It stings, but Caneo moves forward unimpeded by its hurt, spurred on if nothing else. He is confident in outpacing the other boy enough to gain high ground again.

        He is mistaken.

        Some irregularity in the floor, or perhaps the ceaseless pitch of the waves, trips him up. One cloven toe catches the boards beneath him just as he passes into the narrow place, metal railings close on either side. With a surprised gush of breath, the boy flails downward. His left forelimb buckles; the bones of the knee meet a combination of splintered, long-dead trees and rusted nails. There is blood now, under the skin – and blood leaking out of friction scrapes, too. The silver creature struggles to surge upward, but his enemy is here at last, and he feels teeth close over his right hind limb, over the unprotected bone. At any other time, in any other place, Caneo might laugh at the absurdity, the idiocy, of such an attack. Green as he is, he sees no reason for anyone to attack his legs, and were he standing, the response would be immediate – a hard kick, right into the fool’s face.

        Caneo is not standing – not quite.

        He has not fallen completely, but he has taken a knee, and as he scrambles up he finds no method to protect himself. Instead he merely snarls, his face a silent mask of irritation – indignation. He thought himself better than this dull, plodding animal. He is cleverer by far! And faster! All the same, he spies blood running down his cannon bone, blood bright as it springs out from under torn flesh. He moves to turn, some instinct baring his young teeth, preparing to bite the fool in the face, but caught by the narrow walkway he succeeds only in ramming his left flank against the metal railing. His injured limbs cry out, sore and pathetic. Fine. One blue eye rolls coldly in the enemy’s direction, but without taking further action, Caneo merely limps forward, annoyed now more than he has ever been. He should have cut the beast in two – he should have blinded it. Instead he has succumbed to a stupid mistake, and leaned too hard on his own dishonest pride.

        The next foe, if he finds one, will not be so lucky.

_____________________________________________________


defense
word count: 608 words
notes: Caneo tripped and skinned his left knee quite badly, which allowed Biru to easily catch up and take a good bite out of the lower right hind leg, scraping skin from the bone and causing a good deal of pain, as well as bleeding.

sxc.hu

Random Event Posts: 1,286
Helovian Ancient
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
#6
By my verdict: CANEO is the winner!

CANEO
Realism [+3.5]
Good job remember the scenery. The comparisons between Caneo and Biru were very organic; they did not seem forced or posted just for the points. Great! I do think you could have taken more damage in your second post, considering Biru rolled a 6. However, in your final post I thought that the way you incorporated Caneo tripping into the damage was wonderful!


Emotion [+2]
I’ve never read Caneo before, but I suddenly fell in love. Great job letting me get to know him!


Prose [+4]
Beautiful- well written. The prose was unique, well-edited, and you obviously spent some time making sure it was clean. Thank you!


Readability [+2.5]
Just had to go back and read one thing over again during your second post. Otherwise fine!

Finally tally: 48.5 + (12*2) = 72.5 HP

*******************************************

BIRU
Realism [+2]
I think the cut Biru got in your first post should have bled. Basically any cut made by a horn would bleed. Also, this statement reads very much like powerplay- So, instead of aiming to poke straight at Caneo’s ass, Biru’s horn is positioned now to poke and scrape at Caneo’s right quarter. Remember to watch out for that. I would have liked to have seen more consideration of the scenery, but good job working in the sword fighter.


Emotion [+1]
The connection between horse and companion was good, but I didn’t necessarily feel engrossed in the emotion.


Prose [+3]
Just noticed one or two errors throughout. Good job editing, maintaining tense and voice, etc.


Readability [+3]
No concerns.

Finally tally: 46 + (9*2) = 64 HP


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