the Rift


[JUDGED] scream, scream, scream. [graveyard w. biru]

Archibald the Dauntless Posts: 386
Absent Abyss atk: 6.0 | def: 9.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Equine :: 18.3 hh :: 10 years HP: 80 | Buff: SHIELD
Loretta :: Alaskan Malamute :: Time Slip Time
#1

The beast, so imposing and so large, was painted white, completely. Save for his face, which displayed a light brown painted mask. A pair of triangle, cat ears were attached to his head just before his natural ears. No matter how much the behemoth tried to twist his face into a different expression, there was no success. A dull, brooding stare was all he could conjure. It did well to mask the confusion that would normally be painted on his features in his time of solitude in an unfamiliar place, but it was annoying all-the-while. Despite this, Archibald continued his trek through the forest, with his bitch at his heels. She did not dorn any costume, and there was an amused smirk that lit her chiseled features.

This place was unlike anywhere the pair had been before. It was overly green, with life abundant in the trees and plants. The forest floor was covered with stringy and thick vines, ready to reach out and entangle the monstrous beast and the canine. It was humid, too, much like the beach during Tallsun, but without the salty breeze. The environment was not the total source of the pair's uncomfortableness, it was the feeling of eyes on them in the dark canopy. There was movement above their heads, and a guttural, feline hiss and snarl that continued to follow them. The sound was all-too familiar, and Archibald did not want to meet the beast it came from. Finally, Archibald entered a clearing. The ground beneath his hooves was hard packed, ample for solid footing. But the area was small--there was no running from his place. The trees around him seemed to mold together, blocking any possible exit from his foreign circle, save for the place Archibald had entered from. Turning to face back, another figure caught his eyes.

It was a horse, with a horn crowned upon its forehead. Archibald's ears pinned against his skull. This creature before him was standing in the way of his exit, and he wanted out. Loretta turned to face the new brute as well, a low growl rippling from her gut in the direction of the stranger. "Move." Archibald demanded, lifting his left forehoof slightly before slamming it against the forest floor harshly. A deep, powerful set of tremors erupted and shook the forest, Archibald's attempt to unbalance his new opponent very apparent. It only took a second for the pair to decide what they needed to do next, and it was heightened by the melanistic figure that appeared on a branch just a few feet above the Dauntless' head. The creature hissed and slashed out towards the Dauntless, but he was already in motion. He aimed where he believed the other dark stallion to be, his attempt to ram him in the right side of his body, either on his shoulder or ribcage. Archibald needed this boy to be out of his way, and quickly.

Mandrake! Loretta screamed through their bond, yelping fearfully as she plunged into battle with her bonded. She, just as much as Archibald, wanted to be out of this forest, and away from this phantom feline. The bitch ran towards Biru and leapt when she felt she was close to him, her jaws opening wide as she aimed a bite to his face, but the throat would suffice for her. This boy needed to bend or break, for he stood in the way of the pair's only route of escape. Archibald lashed out with his front legs, hoping to land a blow with his massive, steel-clad hooves on the tovero's right knee. He had unleashed a similar attack on Svetlana all those seasons ago, causing her to fall and find her demise at the bottom of Archibald's dangerous hooves. This stallion was unlike Svetlana, however, in more ways than one. He did not share the same build as her, nor did he have wings growing from his shoulders. No, this brute resembled many a phantom from Archibald's past. Most notably, he resembled his younger brother, Knox. There was an obvious mix of heavy blood from the feathering on his feet and the thickness of his appendages, and the inky black that clung to his body screamed Friesian.

The boy, however, was still smaller than the Dauntless, and that meant less strength. If Archibald could fell this boy quickly, he could end his breathing without breaking a sweat, which was an amusing thought in this humid, dank place.




[PC: 1/2 | Defense: 0/1 | WC: 745 | Tremor Magic: 1/2 | Archibald is grumpy cat! Loretta is nothing! || Surroundings: You're in a dense jungle where a lot of foliage covers the ground and vines aplenty wait to tangle you up. You've managed to find somewhat of a clearing, where you square up for your fight, but it seems to be home to someone else as well. Jaguars prowl through the brush and try to grab at you, defending their territory and likely, trying to fill their stomachs. A jaguar manages to strike each fighter once in the fight, which causes a painful and bleeding wound. ||
Archibald magic: :: [Magic: Earth (U) | can create earth tremors with a stomp of the hooves that unbalances and disorients the opponent]
:: [Restrictions | Can only be used twice in battle, with the tremors lasting up to a full post; the tremors are strong and should cause severe disorientation]

ARCHIBALD the DAUNTLESS
Only the dead have seen the end of the war.
image credits


Through the ages of time
I've been known for my hate,
but I'm a dealer of simple choices;
for me it's never too late.


please tag me

Biru Posts: 33
Up For Adoption atk: 3.5 | def: 7 | dam: 7.5
Stallion :: Hybrid :: 16.3 Hands :: 3 HP: 62.5 | Buff: NOVICE
Annabelle :: Royal Cerndyr :: Dark Mist Adoptable
#2
Biru
Fitting into roles was something Biru was very well accustomed to doing. Since the day he was born, he did not own his mind. For over half of his life, he was puppet to Lia. She controlled everything, the way he was to breath, move and feel. Biru, for so long, had nothing to his own name. Even now, he succumbed to the gift of a companion and only had a fleeting moment of true freedom in the months before he arrived in Helovia. The two situations, however, had differing effects. Lia had driven him to become a monster, something he had suppressed under a year of loneliness. Annabelle on the other hoof drove him to become the horse he is today, independent but still a struggling soul.

For round three of this rather ominous fight, the pair was given directions on what to dress up like. Today, Annabelle would help and forfeit her costume to save Biru time. Biru pulled on the white jacket that was lying out for him, it was neatly pressed, and from what he could tell, flawless. It fit snugly around his entire body like a horse blanket, cutting off just short of his rump. It was held to his body by a series of velcro-like fabrics that stuck together around the bottom of his barrel. For extra security, Annabelle pressed her damp black nose against the connection points to make sure that his costume would not fall off. When that was done, he put on the white matching hat. Across the front of the hat was a bright red cross, an unusual sign that neither of the two recognized.

When the pair was done, Annabelle bleated happily. The sun was just beginning to rise, and the crisp morning air was blowing. Biru, although happy with his costume, warned Annabelle that her help might be fruitless. The smell that lingered in the air was one of moisture. That, coupled with the clouds looming overhead, no doubt meant that a storm was on its way.

So the two move quickly, and all to soon are forced to slow. The trees had become a thousand times denser. Vines clung to the branches, weaving in and out of the sticks like a crude loom. It was easy to get tangled up as they went, more than once Annabelle was forced to stop as her branch like horns caught on the parasitic vines. Luckily, there was a break in the wood not to far ahead, so the pair trudged on.

As they walked, it was painful to think of the last fight. They had been pathetically beaten by a princess, and he had walked away victorious. It was shameful to the doctor, and he would make sure that a soft pretty face would not beat them again. This time, they would walk away unharmed, and they would make sure they would carry on to the next round. They had come much to far to lose now.

The trees finally broke, giving way to a somewhat “clear” clearing. Vines still snaked across the ground, weaving around to try and gobble the pair up like snakes. ’Tread Carefully’ He warned Annabelle. If this were where they were meant to fight, the footing would prove to be a problem. He had big hooves, but not enough to crush these thick vines. The sound that approached, however, soundedmassive.

It wasn’t long before the opponent approached. His large hulking broke through the foliage like goliath. Annabelle’s eyes widened, and immediately Biru’s whole mind turned upside down into attack mode. The Giant’s words were demanding, and Biru did NOT take demands.

Biru was solely focused on the Giant as he stood his ground, but his mind was quickly distracted. Suddenly, the earth began to shake. Violent tremors rocked his body, and Biru began to move, trying to move with these tremors. That, however, quickly proved detrimental. Biru stumbled to his right, catching on a vine on his right hoof. His right knee fell to the ground. The foliage underneath was full of barbed leaves and pointy sticks. His knee took the brunt of the fall, peeling a thin layer of skin out of his knee. Biru grunted, quickly pushing off from the ground as the tremors subsided. His right leg screamed, but the Giant was not done. He hit Biru’s right side, his hulking body leaving a dull “thuddy” feeling resonating in his barrel. The dog was easily avoided with a simple lift of the head. No horse for her! Annabelle, feeling Biru struggle, attempted to summon the mist. Biru on the other hand, wanted to use the brute to his advantage. Hoping Archibald was still near him, Biru swung his horn to stab at Archibald’s nearest side.

Goliath needed to fall!

[1/2 :: 799 Words :: Vs. Archibald]
[Annabelle used her Dark Mist ability, Biru tried to stab at Archibals nearest side.]
Smoke & Mirrors
Image Credit

Archibald the Dauntless Posts: 386
Absent Abyss atk: 6.0 | def: 9.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Equine :: 18.3 hh :: 10 years HP: 80 | Buff: SHIELD
Loretta :: Alaskan Malamute :: Time Slip Time
#3

A small, sadistic smirk darkened the brute's features as he watched the boy fall at the power of his tremors. Archibald wanted him to stay on the ground, but he pushed himself up just before the Dauntless rammed into his right side. This boy was in his way, and Archibald decided to end him in a pool of blood. Murder was not something the kingly warrior was a stranger to, and this youngster would greatly resemble Roanne, bathed in his own blood, eyes open and lifeless, jaw hanging open to plead for mercy. That was a plea Archibald would never fulfill. His desire had been for Biru to fall, so Archibald could crush him beneath steel-clad hooves, but it was not satisfied.

From the corner of Archibald's eye he watched as Biru's horn swung to slice at him. The swinging of the younger stallion's head thwarted Loretta's attack, causing the bitch to snarl out in immense anger. Archibald shifted his weight backwards some, lifting his body to the air just for a second. His defense was not quick enough, however, and Biru's horn sliced across Archibald's left-side rib cage. A sharp but deep yell of pain left the massive stallion's throat as his front hooves smashed back down to the forest floor, the crackle of twigs and dried vines the anthem of the battle. As quickly as Archibald could will his painted limbs to move he surged forward again towards Biru's right side. He turned in the last moment, swinging his hips hard towards the stallion in an attempt to knock him off balance from their weight and power.

Archibald's movements would hopefully land him parallel to the stallion, right side to right side. Curling his neck, Archibald moved his massive head to bite at the boy's throat. Simultaneously, Archibald jutted his right hind hoof out towards the tovero's legs, hoping to land a crushing cow kick to the shorter unicorn's right hock or hind cannon. The desire for Archibald to hear the crunching of bones was immense, and as much as he wanted to turn his body fully around to land devastating kicks with his rear hooves on the stallion, Archibald kept this position, continually trying to bite at the stallion's throat. He knew if he could keep this posture, he was protected from the weapon that grew from the stallion's head.

Loretta, nearly shaking with rage and bloodlust, turned her eyes at the young deer. The creature seemed to be summoning some type of magic, and that only infuriated Loretta more. Scrambling, her wide paws scraped against the earth as she narrowed her amber eyes and ran towards the deer. The malamute snarled as she attempted to close the distance between them, and she opened her jaws and lifted the front end of her body off the ground slightly. She attempted to close her trap-like jaws over the deer's throat. She wanted to feel the pool of blood rush into her mouth, the iron taste such a drug and pleasure to the bitch. Loretta knew all-too well that an attack to a companion would surge the emotions of the bonded, and in an attempt to keep the unicorn off her hide, Loretta send her magic flying his way. Perhaps throwing him into infancy would also slow him for Archibald, making it easier for the Dauntless to end his life, just as she attempted with this cendyr.

Grunting and snorting wildly, Archibald sent out his own magic. His tremors had already thrown the child off balance, and now Archibald wished for him to stand in a fixed place, to make it a breeze to bring him down. The Dauntless barely registered the mist that was forming around him until after his magic was dispensed, when his focus was pulled by the sickening hiss of the melanistic jaguar. His judgement was clouded and his golden eyes widened slightly. The jaguar that was above him was the spitting image of his mother, down to the grey eyes that peered at him maliciously and the clawed paw that swiped down at him powerfully. Archibald swung his head away, to the left away from Biru, and turned his body in turn. The thick, powerful paw landed with claws extended on Archibald's rump, running down this already scarred area. A thick, disgruntled cry of pain left the Captain's mouth, and he shifted his weight forward. In an attempt to get the jaguar away from him, Archibald kicked out with metal covered rear hooves, and in the back of his mind hoped that Biru would also be hit in the process, perhaps in one of his back legs, at the sensitive hock joint. The pain from the wound on his ribcage and his rump made Archibald's heart beat quicker and his body shake with pain.




[PC: 2/2 | Defense: 0/1 | WC: 800 | Tremor Magic: 1/2 ||

Surroundings: You're in a dense jungle where a lot of foliage covers the ground and vines aplenty wait to tangle you up. You've managed to find somewhat of a clearing, where you square up for your fight, but it seems to be home to someone else as well. Jaguars prowl through the brush and try to grab at you, defending their territory and likely, trying to fill their stomachs. A jaguar manages to strike each fighter once in the fight, which causes a painful and bleeding wound. ||

Archibald magic: :: [Magic: Earth (U) | The ability to turn another's bones to stone, causing immobilization or slower movement.]

:: [Restrictions | Bones are turned to actual stone; the effects will wear off gradually. In battle, attack lasts for 50 seconds. Can only be used once in a post.]

Loretta Magic: :: [Time slip: another, making them think they are a young child for 30 seconds]]

ARCHIBALD the DAUNTLESS
Only the dead have seen the end of the war.
image credits


Through the ages of time
I've been known for my hate,
but I'm a dealer of simple choices;
for me it's never too late.


please tag me

Biru Posts: 33
Up For Adoption atk: 3.5 | def: 7 | dam: 7.5
Stallion :: Hybrid :: 16.3 Hands :: 3 HP: 62.5 | Buff: NOVICE
Annabelle :: Royal Cerndyr :: Dark Mist Adoptable
#4
Biru
He swung his head, for he needed to shake these thoughts. Princess would not ruin his chances at winning. He had one victory under his belt, and he needed another for bragging rights. For what is a warrior without his conquests? He is nothing.

The horn slid along the Giants rib cage, its sharp point cutting oh so gently into flesh. It did not spill the Giants innards, so the pained bellow would have to do as the replacement. This Giant was trained, that was for sure. He was gifted with not only a magical ability, but also a companion. It is not bad to mention either that he was huge. Sure Biru had draft blood, but this man… he was enormous. The Gods not doubt had him in his favor, but even the Gods were wrong sometimes.

However, the Giant had not yet fallen. He moved forward then, and Biru knew the worst was coming. He sidestepped as carefully as he could, stepping in the holes that the thick vines had created. The last thing he wanted to do was fall into the snares of one of those things. Moving sideways however, was as awkward as it got. Biru hadn’t trained his “ballerina” skills in a while. Anything involving sidestepping, hopping or feinting was rusty. So when the Giants hooves flung outwards, they connected with the right side of his barrel. The wind rushed from his lungs, and Annabelle ran to the opposite side of Biru, taking to hiding in the bushes there.

His breaths were burning, but he wasn’t about to stick around. Biru knew he had one advantage, Biru had to be at least slightly faster and more agile. Goliath however, held the title for the hardest hitter. So Biru burst forward, his breaths still clamoring to catch up with his bloods demand for oxygen. His knee screamed in protest, but he didn’t slow. Without his knowledge, Biru had saved himself from a lot more pain. Annabelle on the other hand, had different problems.

The fluffy dog had spotted her hiding among the foliage, and was running after her. Annabelle, not waiting a moment, took off running deeper into the forest. Vines tugged at her knees, but her agile deer body was meant for flight. She was natural prey, so her innate ability was to run. Biru could feel her heartbeat; the way it thudded made him scream with fear. It pierced the thick jungle air, with a new sound. It grated harshly against the cracking, creaking and quaking of the jungle.

Then, the oddest feeling took him over. His fears became even bigger… it was hard to explain. He seemed to reach the maturity level of Annabelle, and they both were harshly crying now. Neither of them could stop as Annabelle ran, and Biru stood in one spot. He felt like his bones were literally rock. They held his tiny body in place, and the child screeched. He needed to keep the bad man from attacking him! From nowhere, a large, scary cat jumped from the trees. It landed on the big mans butt, and it was doing a lot of damage. That red stuff that hurts was running down his body.

From behind himself, the child heard a low, guttural growl. From the thickened foliage, two yellow eyes were tracking him. The child bleated, and suddenly realized that he needed to get out of there… now!

Biru picked up his feet then, no longer afraid of the battle. His legs however, still felt glued in place. The effort to pick them up was so great that he began to visibly sweat. From behind, the jaguar hissed, and launched itself at Biru. Like Archibald, the cat landed squarely on his rump. Using as much effort as Biru could muster he kicked out and the cat slid off his back with a screech. On the two sides of his rump, cuts ran in parallel lines. They bled… a lot. Annabelle, who was still screeching and running into the night, fell to her knees underneath heavy brush, attempting to hide from the dog. She wept horridly, the tears staining her fawn pelt. Biru groaned, and wanted to give up, but he couldn’t!

The heavy feeling left his body, but not without its side effects. Biru felt utterly exhausted, but he wasn’t done. Hoping to catch Archibald while he was stunned with the cat, Biru rushed forward. He angled his horn downward and went in for the kill. Biru wanted his horn to slide into the soft flesh of the Giants chest. He wanted his blood to water the ground for days. With a groan, he pushed at the very last second to try and muster extra force. He would coerce the odds into his favor.


[2/2 :: 797 Words :: Vs. Archibald]
[Biru is trying to pierce Archibalds chest. Wonderful fight Time!! :D Also, since a lot was going on with magic, and me not wanting to kill Biru, if you need clarification, just ask!]
Smoke & Mirrors
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Archibald the Dauntless Posts: 386
Absent Abyss atk: 6.0 | def: 9.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Equine :: 18.3 hh :: 10 years HP: 80 | Buff: SHIELD
Loretta :: Alaskan Malamute :: Time Slip Time
#5

Metal-clad hooves slammed back down to the ground after Archibald's assault on the massive black feline. He heard his hooves hit it--what he perceived as his mother--and it hissed before scattering away into darkness. Turning, Archibald's body screamed in pain and protest and the stallion winched, ears pinning hard behind his fake costume ears with pain. All he could hear was his blood pounding, but his golden eyes fell on the friesian mutt when his assailant was dealing with his own feline demolisher. Archibald took this time to move away from Biru, hoping in his mind that the other inky stallion was still cursed by his magic. In the distance, Archibald heard a yelp leave Loretta's maw, and the massive stallion pushed forward. His head ducked and he pushed into the density of the forest blindly, roots tangling up in his feathers and thorns pulling at his sides. He winced and tensed in pain, and he felt a sharp prick at the point of his left-side buttock. The prick was the end of Biru's horn, his intended target of Archibald's heart way off in the Dauntless' attempt to charge into the forest and smash the source of Loretta's pain. The remnants of the deer's mist still was fogging Archibald's brain, and now in the immense pain he was feeling from this battle, his thoughts were very narrow and little else entered his mind.

Get Loretta. Leave this demonic jungle.

Biru's dual horn attacks pulsated and bled, much less than the set of claw wounds down his rump, but still made the Dauntless' body react greatly. The paint that turned him white and cat-like was beginning to run and drip down his sides, the macabre of his blood mixing darkly with the temporary paint. In his charge through the forest the cat ears were ripped harshly from Archibald's head, leaving a small cut above his eye that stung wildly. Loretta was tangled in the grasp of thorns, her legs bleeding greatly and chunks of fur and flesh missing from her side. Her instinct had told her to kill the deer, and her charge after the creature was much less dainty and natural. Archibald stopped when he found her, stomping at the thorns around her, their prongs cutting away at the thin flesh of his knees. The kingly Captain bit back the pain as he freed his companion. When the red and white was free from her trap, Archibald knew the battle was over. He left Biru to deal with the jaguars in the clearing, having pushed past him successfully to find Loretta, and there was no way in hell the Dauntless was going back to save the blue and black boy. His own stupidity would be his downfall--he should have listened when Archibald told him to move in the first place, before the battle even began.

There was screaming pain ripping through the Dauntless' massive body, his heart racing beneath his breast and his muscles shaking. The beast's breathing was labored and sweat pooled around his body. This landscape had taken its toll on him in its own right, but Archibald was greatly affected by this battle. In all of his life, in all of his experience, the warlord was never participated in such a battle that had him wanting out from the beginning. No, Archibald did not fear this jungle or what lay in it, for he was without the capacity of being daunted, but he did not welcome this place either--and this place did not welcome him. Blood poured from the deep wounds on the right side of his rump, the cuts from the demon's claws excruciating. His mother had scratched him before, but nothing of this manner. She was here now, however, a phantom that had attacked him while he was battling for his way out of this clearing. Biru had done his part in fighting back, and left Archibald with a pulsating cut on his ribcage that bleed--incredibly less than the jaguar cuts--but still bled nonetheless. Loretta held her own share of bumps and bruises, her attempt at going after the deer leaving her bleeding cuts along her legs and tufts of missing fur along her sides that had been ripped away by the vicious bark of trees as she scraped past them in her mad dash. Limping, bruised and bloody, the pair walked with their heads held high out of the clearing, ready to be rid of this place entirely.




[PC: 2/2 | Defense: 1/1 | WC: 744 |

|| Surroundings: You're in a dense jungle where a lot of foliage covers the ground and vines aplenty wait to tangle you up. You've managed to find somewhat of a clearing, where you square up for your fight, but it seems to be home to someone else as well. Jaguars prowl through the brush and try to grab at you, defending their territory and likely, trying to fill their stomachs. A jaguar manages to strike each fighter once in the fight, which causes a painful and bleeding wound.]

ARCHIBALD the DAUNTLESS
Only the dead have seen the end of the war.
image credits


Through the ages of time
I've been known for my hate,
but I'm a dealer of simple choices;
for me it's never too late.


please tag me

Random Event Posts: 1,286
Helovian Ancient
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
#6
By my verdict: ARCHIBALD is the winner!

ARCHIBALD
Realism [+1]
While it's not REALLY powerplay, insinuating multiple times that Biru is in the way of the escape is meta playing someone else's character. What if Biru wanted to write that he came up on the same side? All you can do is define your position, not someone else's! Also, I would have liked to see more emphasis on how the dense jungle is hindering to Archi's size! That narrow of an environment would probably work against such a large character. Archi is doing ALOT of moving even in your second post, and you haven't mentioned the environment much at all. His body swerving and turning would definitely be hindered by trees and vines.

In post 2, there is a little more powerplay. How does Loretta know that the deer is summoning magic when you have not yet described the effects of the mist? Also, more costume! The effects of the grumpy cat were missed.


Emotion [+1]
There wasn't too much emotion in the posts except for blood and anger. I would have liked to have seen a wider range of what was going on in the posts!



Prose [+3]
The writing was great, clear, concise and well-written. However, there was alot of repetitive metaphors and words. For example, Loretta's only motives for attacking was to go for the throat to feel blood.


Readability [+2]
Very readable!


Finally tally: 42+(7*2)= 56 HP

*******************************************

BIRU
Realism [+1.5]
Just as a note, typically nurses wear hats and doctors have stethoscopes! I didn't take off any points for it, but I figured "the more you know~~". You also spent most of your first post setting it up and barely gave the defense and attack a paragraph! Getting rammed into by a character as big as Archibald would also be incredibly painful! I missed that in your post.

Post 2: How did Archibald's kick land in your barrel when it was aimed at your hocks? What about the other attacks?What about your costume! You are a doctor!


Emotion [+1]
I felt some emotion from Biru in the first post, but not much. There was little mention of pain or subsequent issues from being injured, especially in the last paragraph.


Prose [0]
Post 1: "all to soon", it needs to be "all too soon".
The last paragraph especially was short and choppy. It was pretty easy to see that you ran out of words, but next time, you should consider shortening your introduction. The important part of the battle is the fighting, so you should focus most of your efforts there.

Post 2: "swung his head to rid his thoughts": didn't he swing his head to try to attack Archibald?
"Giants ribcage" ---> "Giant's ribcage "
"Bloods" ---> "Blood's demand"


Readability [+1.5]
A little choppy in places, but otherwise good!


Finally tally: 40+(4*2)= 48 HP


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