the Rift


[JUDGED] The Hulk vs The Flash
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#1
GAUCHO
& if we should die tonight then we should all die together
The Wildfire realized that he hadn't spent much time with his newest crafter. It wasn't out of pure curiosity or suspicion that the Sultan had asked Bucephalus to accompany him to the Island, although they did play some small role. Given the treachery of Mauja in the past, not to mention what had happened with Kri and Faelene so long ago, Gaucho was rightfully suspicious. Some might point out that Bucephalus was likely the least of his worries, especially given that Thranduil the trickster had infiltrated their ranks without him knowing, but of course, that's the point isn't it? Gaucho didn't know about it. All he knew was that Ampere brought home this speckled creature and that he had thus far done everything he should. He had recruited, had begun his tasks as a crafter with enthusiasm and was generally getting along well with the herd.

Perhaps too well.

Something about the willingness with which Buce originally dispelled the need to continue as a warrior etched Gaucho's mind with concern. Was it a lie? Had he never been a fighter? Or was there some other darkness that he was harbouring? The Wildfire hoped that they would encounter some difficulty on the Island that would force Bucephalus' hand - make him attack, or defend. If not ... perhaps Gaucho would have to be the catalyst. He didn't truly trust anyone until he had felt their flesh pound against his own, or seen them spill his blood.

"This way." Gaucho grunted as he swung his large body in the air, angling downwards towards the grove of cherry trees. The place was beautiful, but in a way that did not strike Gaucho's primitive mind in any meaningful way. The blossoms blew on the breeze that was neither warm nor cold. Just because the Gods prevented Frostfall from encompassing the Island did not mean it remained the lush oasis that it had been when first it was discovered. There was still a bit of a chill in the air, and the scent of death was everywhere.

Dark hooves extended from his body landing easily and with an odd grace for a creature of his size and primal appearance. "Have been to Island before?" He inquired, not really caring about the answer, but assuming it was a no. Gaucho was not really one for small talk. His stormy gaze glanced upwards to where a haze covered the sun - A sun that appeared far too far away for Gaucho's liking. The light seemed scattered and dull; everything was illuminated but almost as if it was covered with a layer of film. When last he had been here with Ampere their trip had bene uneventful insofar as the supernatural was concerned.

Gaucho assumed this venture would be no different.



Setting: The Island, in the ring of cherry trees. The light is hazy but the area is well lit. The air is neither hot nor cold but there is a slight breeze.

Attack: 0/3
WC: 469
Timeline: Regular.

Edited to change the title because lolz.

Table style by Tamme!
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Bucephalus the Morningstar Posts: 292
Hidden Account atk: 7 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.1 :: 6 || Tallsun HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
Azeeza :: Orange-breasted Falcon :: None Tribs
#2
To say the black was uneasy was an understatement. To be plucked from your work by your Sultan, then led to the Island where whatever that had been attacked you... Yeah. Understatement. But Bucephalus was unused to being afraid of most things, and even if Gaucho had not pulled him away for this flight, he most likely would have made his way over here once again to try and well...face his fear. Gaucho's deep voice drew the smaller stallion's gaze, and with a nod he followed his Sultan down to the Island with growing dread. Would that darkness return? Freeze his heart and body once again? As his hooves touched the earth, Bucephalus banished his fears...mostly. To show any sign of fear before the tall male beside him would be damaging.

So he settled for gazing upon their surroundings. Bucephalus had a love for pretty things, but cherry blossoms... there was something unappealing about them. So he dismissed the sight and rubbed his nose against his leg to try and rid himself of their sweet scent, to no avail. "Yes, i have been here before. After Ampere brought me to the Throat, i spent maybe a few days to a week exploring Helovia, or what little i could." He said, raising his head to look at Gaucho, ears flicked towards him before he too looked at the sun. It didn't make much sense to him why the sun's rays seemed so distant; it didn't brush their bodies the way it did in the desert, and even Bucephalus with his honor of the wind, had to admit it was unsettling to not feel the heat on his back.

"I think it is safe to assume you did not bring me here for a romantic getaway." He said, smirking as he walked away from Gaucho a bit, exploring the little clearing, although tension lurked in the feathers at his wings's bases. "So why are we here?" He lifted his head, gold eyes gazing at Gaucho, awaiting an answer from the fiery barbarian.

Attack: 0/3

Bucephalus
Word Count: 342 Tags: @[Gaucho]
CREDITS
Jello88.deviantart.com | Chunga-Stock.deviantart.com | Tumana-Strock.deviantart.com | XResch.deviantart.com | cooltext.com | Made by euphoraxio.deviantart.com | Table by Linds |
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#3
GAUCHO
& if we should die tonight then we should all die together
He couldn't detect any anxiety from the younger stallion, but nor did he charge ahead and take lead. Perhaps that could be written off as a show of respect, for who would dare to outfly their Sultan? Ampere would he thought with a mild smirk, thinking of his race here with the Blue. Still, he thought he sensed ... something. Whatever it was did not speak highly of Buce's soul as being bronzed by war. Yet his words indicated that this was not the case. So which was it? Reluctant solider? Or liar?

As Buce mentioned Ampere, a chill ran through Gaucho's bones. The mere mention of her name was all it took these days to send his mind reeling. For nearly a full year they had missed each other by only moments, united briefly before each in turn disappeared. Now that they were both back ... the meticulous balancing act that they both tried to sustain grew slowly to a climax. What would happen between the two the Wildfire didn't know. What he did know was that this feeling of jealousy as her name dropped from Buce's lips was growing tiresome. She either was his, or wasn't. Eventually he would need to know.

Black ears flickered forward as Gaucho nodded. That Buce had investigated the lands was admirable and strategically worthwhile, although he apparently hadn't found his way to the Edge. Or at least, not prior to having brought the youths into the Throat. Gaucho watched as the leaner stallion moved away from him, cocking his ears slightly as he spoke. Romantic getaway ? The dun was not particularly apt when it came to sarcasm, plain words were still difficult enough that taking them anything but literally was just about out of his grasp. In his antlers, Mara mentally explained softly and without judgement what the stallion had likely meant. Mareessssss like flowersssss like thisssssss. But you have not brought him here to show him the flowersssssss have you? He knowsssss this. Gaucho bobbed his head appreciatively - Mara was clever, and her insight always needed.

Although it appeared Bucephalus was clever as well.

A grin broke Gaucho's dark lips as he turned his larger frame towards the gold-etched creature. "No romance. He replied with an even tone, but still smirking. "Here to ittelat. To lajilat and lajat and see the vishiya di oakah." Gaucho began, purposefully using words from his native tongue. They rolled off of his lips in a way that others did not - they sounded fluid and perfectly pronounced, whereas most of his speech was choppy and primitive. But the language of his people was one of war. He had more words for a simple spar than the language of the Helovian's did. A warm desire for war burned in his blue-gray gaze as it fell upon Buce. "Here to test you."

Opening his flaming wings, he held them high and as horizontal as possible increasing his apparent size. In his antlers, Mara hissed with amusement, as if saying good luck!. Flames licked Gaucho's wing tips casting light and shadows upon his chiseled body.

"Hit me." He offered simply but without room for discussion or negation.



ittelat - To make something well proven, to test in action;
lajilat - To spar, to train, to play, to compete;
lajat - Fight ;
oakah - A person's worthy or ability, soul;



Attack: 0/3
WC: 542
Timeline: Regular.
Teaching: Yes - notes to come once spar begins :)

Table style by Tamme!
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Bucephalus the Morningstar Posts: 292
Hidden Account atk: 7 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.1 :: 6 || Tallsun HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
Azeeza :: Orange-breasted Falcon :: None Tribs
#4
What was this? Buce watched as what looked similar to traces of lust and irritation crossed Gaucho's face at Ampere's name. Interesting. He knew the stallion and blue mare had some sort of tension going between them. Exactly what...he wasn't sure. But...

At least stonehead understood his joke.

Buce's smirk turned to a grin at that, and he mock-pouted. "I'm insulted. Am i not handsome enough?" He laughed, then cocked his head when Gaucho began to speak more, but in a language unknown to the stud. Whatever it was, the words were melodic, something the choppy Helovian language lacked. It was musical in a guttural sense, something spoken from the chest rather than the mouth. Bucephalus made a mental note to sometime pester the stallion and learn this new language; it intrigued him. But the next words made him blink. Test him? Hooves crunched on fallen petals as the black considered this, ears pinning back slightly. What did he mean by that, precisely?

As the bay spread his wings, the flaming tips making him seem almost a demigod of the Sun, Bucephalus narrowed his eyes. Hit him? He wanted to fight Bucephalus. Fight... oh, he'd not done that since leaving Sehrau and landing in Helovia. Altan screamed at him to do it, Bucephalus urging him not to. Quite confusing. But... It was such an opportunity. For a few heartbeats there was no movement whatsoever from the gold-dusted stud, his gaze distant as his facade and spirit raged at one another. Oh how it would feel to taste blood in the air and in his mouth, to feel the sweet pain of teeth and hoof in his flesh... Altan won.

A grin curled black lips, and the stallion's dished face lowered, gold eyes gleaming. His wings trembled, the shudder growing down his body to his legs to the point the black was dancing in place. Muscles tensed, and he launched himself at Gaucho, looking as if he'd try to slam into the bay, but at the last second he skidded to a stop and churned his wings, throwing discarded petals and debris into the air in an attempt to distract the larger stallion as Altan darted behind him, twisting to try and grab the stallion's wingjoint in his teeth. If he was successful, he'd clamp down and rear up to hopefully disturb Gaucho's balance enough where the smaller black could have an advantage.

Summary: Bucephalus sprints at Gaucho, but at the last second comes to a halt and tries to use his wings to create a distraction with the cherry blossom petals. Then he slipped under Gaucho's wing and turned to try and grab the base of Gaucho's wing in his teeth so he could rear up and hopefully throw the other off balance.
Attack: 1/3

Bucephalus
Word Count: 403 Tags: @[Gaucho]
CREDITS
Jello88.deviantart.com | Chunga-Stock.deviantart.com | Tumana-Strock.deviantart.com | XResch.deviantart.com | cooltext.com | Made by euphoraxio.deviantart.com | Table by Linds |
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#5
GAUCHO
& if we should die tonight then we should all die together


By the time Buce spoke, Gaucho's mind and already switched gears. He was in the zone, and once you're in the zone sarcasm has no force. The only response the gold-flecked stallion would receive was a brief flickering of ears, a simple indication that Gaucho had heard the words even if he chose not to acknowledge them.

His stormy gaze focused solely on the stallion as he swayed in place, before finally beginning to almost prance. The dun couldn't tell if this was meant to be intimidating, indicative of fear, or a sign that he needed to urinate. Whatever it was, he wouldn't be taken in by it. Gaucho stood nearly immobile, the greatest movement being the flickering of the flames on his wings. He was as patient as he was primtive; whatever war waged in Buce's mind was of no concern to him. The only thing he cared about was -

- movement.

The Wildfire did not move as Buce rushed towards him. Gaucho was larger and more muscular; his body could withstand a charge from the leaner stallion. Not only that, but he had antlers and his collar made of spikes. If the stallion was stupid enough to rush directly at him there were many things that could be done to dissuade a full on bodycheck (like a wall of flames, perhaps?). Gaucho's muscles tensed, ready to lower his shoulder and antlers against the oncoming stud, when suddenly he halted. The dun's nostrils flared as he watched Buce's wings begin to stir the debris and delicate petals upwards. Briefly Gaucho wondered if the fellow had magic that he hadn't previously disclosed, or if perhaps his magic as a crafter allowed him to manipulate these objects as he could metals? However these thoughts were dismissed quickly as Gaucho felt the wind upon his face as well as the irritants: this was not magic, merely cunning. Gaucho approved.

His eyes shut as his head was thrust upwards as if trying to evade the cloud of pollen, leaves, dirt, petals and whatever else Buce's feathers had stirred up. He wasn't quite fast enough, and could feel his eyes begin to sting and itch, water and blur. Snorting, he felt movement on his right side - a brushing against the bottom feathers of his right wing. Under me?! He wondered furiously, directing his thoughts at Mara who confirmed that the stallion indeed seemed to be moving in that direction. Gaucho unknowing just what the stallion meant to do (given that he kept his eyes forced shut) shoved his shoulder roughly to the right. His aim was to force the sharpened bone spikes into whatever part of Buce was closest - he assumed it would be his flank but any fleshy part would do.

Blinking dumbly to ensure that whatever particles had floated into his eyes were out, Gaucho cast a watery gaze to the right to try and spy the stallion, finding that he was much closer than Gaucho would have assumed. Gaucho's ears pinned against his skull, as he saw teeth moving towards his wing through watery eyes. With a loud grunt, Gaucho threw his shoulder to the right once again. If he wanted his teeth to meet any part of Gaucho, the dun would happily oblige. He meant for part of his wither to smack the stallion in the nose as he tried to bite, but really the manuever was strategic: he needed Buce close, which meant letting him bite. Feeling teeth sink into his flesh, Gaucho snarled with pain, pushing the weight onto his front legs as he bucked in Buce's direction. He felt the stallion seem to pull up, as if rearing. The movement was confusing - did Buce think he had the strength to pull Gaucho upward with his teeth? Did he think his crafting magic would extend to Gaucho's body? Whatever it was, it was foolish. Gaucho felt feathers and hair tug away from his body as his hind legs sought whatever part of Buce they could find - possibly his belly if he was fool hardy enough to rear so close.

As blood began to bead from the wound created by Bucephalus' teeth, smoke poured from Gaucho's antlers and immediately seemed to catch on fire. 5 birds of varying sizes took form, flying towards Buce on wings composed entirely of fire. Molten eyes narrowed in unison as fiery talons and wings rose into the air and then back down again. Snarling Gaucho lurched forward, moving forward and to the left as his fiery accomplices shot down towards Buce; three shapes the size of large birds aimed for his head while the other two (much larger, nearer to the size of large eagles) circled to come at each side of his rib cage.





Summary: Gaucho tosses his head upwards and closes his eyes as Buce kicks up dirt. He throws his shoulder to the right to try and stab him as he passes by, thrusts his shoulder to the right again as Buce tries to bite to try and hit him in the mouth, and then bucks as Buce bites/rears. He lurches forward and to the left and uses his magic to create 5 fiery birds that fly towards Buce.

Attack: 1/3
WC: 797
Timeline: Regular.
Teaching Notes: Let me first say I REALLY like this method of attacking. Using the environment in the way that you did is incredible creative, and at that distance, effective. Given the size difference, making Gauhco unbalanced is an excellent maneuver!

In terms of realism, I think wording is going to be your biggest area of opportunity. For instance, you describe him as rushing forward and at the last minute stopping to throw up dust. When I think of the 'last minute' I imagine it being right before they collide. But if that's the case, there isn't really a ton of room to stir up dust and petals? For those to get into Gaucho's eyes you sort of need ... what? 5 feetish where he can be flapping such that the debris actually makings it to Gaucho's eyes? Right now I don't really see why Buce would be affected either if they really are so close. The other problem came from this line: as Altan darted behind him, twisting to try and grab the stallion's wingjoint in his teeth. I know Buce is agile, but you make it sound like Gaucho is this stone block who isn't going to move. Gaucho is a Hano, but he's definitely more agile than someone like Archi for instance. So to say that you 'darted behind him' makes it sound like you are a mouse compared to a boulder which isn't quite the case. I think I understand the motivation behind it, it's something like "while he's distracted, given Buce's superior speed, he tries to move around his wing as efficiently and swiftly as possible", but none of that was written, and so it comes off very unrealistic. Given that Gaucho's wings are outstretched (and that they're BIG), you need to account for the time it would take - which is going to be more than a few seconds, given that Buce has to turn around in order to bite him. You also forgot to mention which side he was going under! Since you didn't specify, I get to decide :)

Another area I think could have been expanded is the whole tension between Buce and Altan. At first I didn't understand what was happening, or if Buce had a companion I wasn't aware of, until I realized it was more of a Dr Jerkyl Mr. Hyde thing going on (I think that's sort of what it's like???). If that's the case, I would have LOVED to have seen your second paragraph fleshed out a little more so that 1) you get points for inner turmoil when it comes to judging and 2) so that I have an idea of what's going on, especially if you're going to switch and start referring to the personality Altan in place of saying "Buce".

Basically, I would utilize more of your word count. If your character has weird mental states going on, describe them. If you're going to attack, take the time to explicitly write out what's happening, at what length/intervals, and how everything is working together.

Final comment: I know you asked me over Skype about Mara which is really good. It's always important to take into account what companion your opponent has. The other things to note are items and magic. So Gaucho's magic is fully maxed out, which means he has two types of abilities that are upgraded. He also has an item, a collar of bone spikes that are around his shoulders. It's super important for you to be aware of these things, as they ought to effect how your character decides to attack. For instance, given that Gaucho's wings are on fire, wouldn't Buce be a little bit worried about trying to run under them? Given that he's seen Gaucho make animals out of fire, isn't he concerned about being burned? Etc.

But over all, great post! There weren't many grammatical errors and as I said above, I REALLY like your strategy so far.

Table style by Tamme!
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Bucephalus the Morningstar Posts: 292
Hidden Account atk: 7 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.1 :: 6 || Tallsun HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
Azeeza :: Orange-breasted Falcon :: None Tribs
#6
Altan saw the first shoulder-movement Gaucho made as he passed under his wing, and managed to evade it. But the second slam hit him on the nose, and his eyes watered at the pain. 'Fucking idiot.' Buce chided himself, making Altan's ears pin back. The stallion managed to keep his grip through the pain however, and with a sense of satisfaction he tasted the first coppery tangs of Gaucho's blood. Then the scent of smoke made him glance up in time to see the stud's antlers catch on fire. 'Really fucking idiot' Altan shoved Bucephalus away; fighting was his territory. But when the fire took shape and the birds rushed Altan... hell. Okay maybe Bucephalus was correct. Quickly he released Gaucho, just in time to feel hooves hit his stomach, knocking the wind from his body and throwing him off balance. Wings churned to keep the black upright as the flaming birds rocketed towards him. Seeing what was to come, Altan screwed his eyes shut and raised his wings high; better the fire hit his sides than his precious wings.

Agony hit him like a freight train as the firebirds all hit his body at once, causing the black to rear with a shrill squeal. Away away AWAY! Altan twisted from where he had seen Gaucho, eyes closed tight against the burning brightness of the fire, the smaller stallion immediately dropped to the ground and writhed, burying his face into the ground and rolling to keep the fire from attaching to his body and burning him further. As he smothered the flames, his hind legs kicked, shoving him away from Gaucho as quick as he could. Shortly the black was back on trembling legs, eyes open to watch the larger stallion with a downright pissed gaze. He wanted to play like that? Fine. The black would play. His face and sides screamed everytime he moved, the patches raw and burnt, with dust and petals clinging to the exposed flesh. The pain was enough to be distracting, and Altan made sure to dance away everytime the bay came closer until he could cope with the sudden pains.

It was time for a new plan. A better plan. Gold eyes flickered around the clearing, noting features of interest. His mind clicked, and he bared his teeth at Gaucho in a grin/grimace. Even Bucephalus, in all his distant cunning, could agree with his primal counterpart's notion. This would either turn out wonderfully.... or badly. Altan circled Gaucho, ears pricked towards him. He'd have to be quick... considering the pulsing pain in his stomach, the stud before him hit like a boulder. So he circled Gaucho, faking a limp from the burning pain across his shoulders and sides. His pained breathing was not a trick, but helped add to the illusion that his injuries were a little more severe than Gaucho had actually done. As he kept his distance, his mind reeled. Fire, serpent, bone collar, kicks like trains, and fast on his feet for his size. Oh, and antlers. No biggie. He needed an advantage for his plan to work however... he needed the other stallion to get distracted.

"You know, i almost expected Ampere to go off with you the night we met." Altan hummed, ears swiveling to the black-winged bay. "Lucky for me she didn't. Considering the tension between you two, i take it you've fucked her too. Did she scream for you?" He asked, grinning. "I doubt i'll forget the way that supple body rolled beneath me, or how she demanded more and more. Must say, quite the succulent lover, no? I look forward to tasting her tonight, actually." Bold faced lie; he'd not seen hide nor hair of Ampere since the herd meeting. But Gaucho didn't need to know that. Altan's circle tightened, drawing him closer and closer.

He needed to be cautious this round; he wanted the dun brute to fucking hurt...but Altan had to admit he was a tank. So, he needed to be clever. Very clever... A grin curled his lips, and Altan sprang into the air, gaining a little bit of height before diving down towards Gaucho. But he swerved away from the stallion, aiming to land behind Gaucho. 'Let's kick some ass.' He cackled to himself before he'd try to lash out his hind legs towards Gaucho's rear and genitals.

Attack: 2/3
Summary: After being hit by Gaucho's fire on his face and sides Buce stop-drop-and-rolls to stop from catching on fire. Then he jumps up and begins circling Gaucho, keeping distance between them before he leaps into the air and flies towards him. But before he gets within Gaucho's range he tries to land behind Gaucho and attempts to kick at his rear and crotch.
Notes: Hope this is better? I feel like a bumbling babe. But it's still fun XDD Also apologies for the wait! ^^;

Bucephalus
Word Count: 728 Tags: @[Gaucho]
CREDITS
Jello88.deviantart.com | Chunga-Stock.deviantart.com | Tumana-Strock.deviantart.com | XResch.deviantart.com | cooltext.com | Made by euphoraxio.deviantart.com | Table by Linds |
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#7
GAUCHO
& if we should die tonight then we should all die together

Gaucho felt his hooves find the soft underbelly of his opponent making the screaming pain in his wing joint entirely worth it. A dark smile pushed his lips apart as his hooves found purchase on the ground again, pulling him away from the gold-flecked stallion. The distance he meant to put between the two proved unnecessary as his fiery companions descended upon Buce. Gaucho watched with a snort of amusement: he was a fool for standing still. Fire only burns when it lingers after all. In his mind, Mara wondered whether or not Buce had ever seen fire before - he did dive under Gaucho's wing which bore flames on the top after all. Perhaps he wasn't acquainted with the foundational element. Snorting, Gaucho shook his head. Who didn't know about fire?

With a look of mild horror, the Wildfire watched as the dark stallion dropped to the ground and began to roll. As his belly rolled towards the Sun, Gaucho had to stifle the desire to let his hooves slam into that soft skin once again. What sort of idiot allowed himself to be so vulnerable during a spar? Perhaps he thought that Gaucho would not attack while he was in such a precarious state. Normally he would be wrong, but as the two were so far from home, the dun refrained. He didn't want to have to fly all the way home just to return with one of their healers. Still, he bore this little display with a look of disappointment, snapping his dark tail against his hocks in annoyance.

As Buce began to hobble in a circle the Wildfire remained still, allowing his nose to move in a small arch to follow his opponent's movements as he passed in front, while Mara's black eyes covered his rear. Did he mean to show the dun that he was injured? Did he think Gaucho would care? Gaucho had told him at the outset that this was a test ... trriiiiccckkkk? Mara suggested in his mind. Nostrils flaring, Gaucho mentally nodded. Perhaps it was some sort of trick, meant to divert Gaucho's attention or soften whatever blows might follow? Before this line of thinking could continue, Buce's words broke both Gaucho's concentration as well as patience. He said the magic word, springing the true trap.

Ampere.

A snarl parted Gaucho's dark lips as his body swung jerkily, now actively following Buce's movements. His dark ears flattened against his thick skull as the flames that burned on his wings suddenly flared with his heightened emotion. "Zichome yalli" He breathed raggedly as crimson seemed to wash his vision. He should have taken the opportunity to slam his hooves into Buce's exposed belly when he had the chance. How could he mount the Blue if his belly is unable to withstand even the slightest amount of pressure?

Just as he was about the charge, the black rose into the sky. Snarling, Gaucho followed his movements with a gaze that rolled like thunder clouds. If he wanted to take the battle to the skies, that was perfectly fine. Following suit, the Wildfire rose easily on wings larger than Buce's and pursued as quickly as he could. He banked hard to the left to try and remain squarely behind the dark stallion, surprised to find that Buce was descending.

"Aresak!" He bellowed, thinking that Buce meant to try and simply fly away from him. The beating of his wings paused momentarily as the fire that lined his feathers suddenly flared up, bright and hot, sending a wave of fire towards Buce. Because the arch dissipated after about 30 feet, Gaucho waited until he judged himself to only be about 10 feet away from Buce who appeared to be landing upon the ground.

What?

He watched the stallion kick out, and wondered if Buce thought Gaucho would be stupid enough to fly with his head so close to his ass that a kick like that would reach him. Fury boiled within the Wildfire as his body pulled upwards, soaring over the black stallion. How could Ampere even consider such an idiot worthy? Whatever skill he possessed when it came to fighting was masked by his stupidity. Perhaps the whole thing was a charade, but that was becoming less and less likely now, at least in Gaucho's mind. Was it his clever words that wooed Ampere? The idea was concerning, for Gaucho hadn't taken Ampere to be one easily persuaded by a silver tongue. SSSSSSHOULDN"T MATTTTTERRRRR Mara hissed furiously in his mind, smacking him with her tail as he glided in a large circle. SSSSSOHALIA She continued to bellow in his mind, unimpressed by his flare of jealousy and rage.

Gaucho didn't care. Buce's cunning tongue wouldn't matter if his body was too burned to sustain Ampere's demanding embrace.




zichome yalli; disrespectful child
aresak; coward

Summary: Gaucho takes the air with Buce and tries to fly behind him. As Buce descends (and begins the attack that was meant to hit Gaucho had he remained still), Gaucho sends a wave of fire towards him, then pulls up and continues gliding (Because your attack missed per the role).


Attack: 2/3
WC: 800
Timeline: Regular.
Teaching:'

Nice post! I LOVE how Buce tries to fuck with Gaucho - so awesome. Taunting and faking injury is a wonderful tactic, especially against someone like Gaucho.

Don't worry if you feel like things are rocky - if you go back and read any of my first spars (or even spars now) I do stupid things that afterwards I kick myself for. And some mistakes you just need to make before you realize that you've made them and why they're important. Here's an example: order of attacks super matters. It's going to matter in terms of flow (because if the judge has to re-read something 5 times trying to figure out why it seems like you're leaving out attacks when really you're changing the order of them), and realism (because the order of injuries sustained is going to matter).

Here's the order of Gaucho's attacks from last post: (1) Thrust shoulder to the right to try and stab Buce with his bone spikes (2) Shoulder thrust again, this time meant to bump Buce's nose as he bit Gaucho's wing (3) Buck (4) Fire birds.

(1) happens and shortly after (2) happens. (2) is meant to occur simultaneously with Buce's bite, and then (3) occurs as Buce tries to pull upward/rear. While it's the case that Gaucho's birds are created, I specifically write that they fly upwards and Gaucho moves away before they attack. So that should have bought Buce a few seconds at least.

You wrote (4) as happening before (3), that is, the smoke happened before you acknowledged the buck which isn't how I wrote it. Even if you think your opponent made a mistake or wrote something super unrealistic, you can't change what I've written - that constitutes power playing.

Realism
Your first line indicates that Buce evaded Gaucho's first shoulder thrust. How did he do that? Did he dodge to the right? How far did he have to go? Given that Buce abruptly stopped and tried to move under Gaucho's wing I have a hard time seeing how he could have fully evaded it. If that's how you want to write it that's totally fine but I think you'll lose marks on realism for not explaining how it was done.

You say that Gaucho's buck hits Buce in the stomach. Gaucho's a big boy with big hooves, he would have done more than knock the wind out of him - there would likely be bruising, possibly even a bleeding wound.

The flow of time

Here's a pro tip: Think of how horses fight - there's a lot of quick attacks. I know we don't always do this because ... well, characters have magic, can fly, and have companions, but for the most part these spars don't take up much real time. Because of this you don't want to force yourself into doing any one action for too long. Here's an example: Buce does a stop drop and roll to put out the fire from Gaucho's magic. Then he gets up and walks around Gaucho feigning injury (such a good idea!!! Then he tries to egg Gaucho on, continuing to circle. Then he takes to the air and tries to attack. Fewf, that's literally minutes worth of action. Because you've written that it has happened you can't go back and change it. Now imagine if in my next post I write Gaucho as trying to hoof-stomp Buce while he's on his back? You can't say that he tries to defend himself, because you've already written that he hasn't. What if Gaucho sends an arc of fire (his other magic) at Buce while he's circling? You can't say he ran away or tried to dodge it, because he didn't. What if Gaucho took to the air while Buce was talking? Now it makes literally no sense that Buce dives down to attack him because he isn't there anymore. I've had this happen to me in the past, and what I've learned is always to leave things open ended and only to write bits of action at a time. So you'll notice at the end of my post I just say Gaucho fucks off to the left. I don't say how far and he doesn't do anything else. This gives me the most amount of flexibility when it comes to responding to you.

Injuries

Gaucho rolled 11.5 pts of damage against Buce. That's almost the most damage he can give in one hit, the most (without a critical hit) being 13.5. I think you took the damage reasonably. If it was me, I might have taken some from Gaucho's original shoulder thrust, and the rest from the birds - it is difficult for horses to actually catch on fire (think of running your finger through a candle), so to lessen the damage Buce might have ran a bit.

Table style by Tamme!
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Bucephalus the Morningstar Posts: 292
Hidden Account atk: 7 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.1 :: 6 || Tallsun HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
Azeeza :: Orange-breasted Falcon :: None Tribs
#8
Oooo, that seemed to piss the giant off. He heard the giant's wingbeats behind him, and flashed a grin over his shoulder. Then his golden eyes locked on the fire, and only one thing flashed through his mind.

Shit

Altan could feel the heat of the flames growing as they neared, and he braced himself for the pain. A bellow tore from him, and he whirled, wings snapping out. A grin cracked his features when he saw Gaucho glide overhead. Perfect. A wild laugh broke from him as he shot up to try and dig his teeth into the bay's leg. Whether he succeeded or not, the black could care less. His plan was unfurling rather late, but still effectively.

Onyx wings snapped out and slammed down, propelling the slender stallion into the air. Quickly he climbed, then whirled and tucked wing, diving towards the larger stallion. "I wonder why she desires others! Are you lacking something, dear Gaucho?!" He taunted as he plummeted down. When he came close, he shot his forelegs out and locked his knees, wings flaring as he aimed to hit Gaucho's wing joint with his hooves. Then he quickly pulled away, returning to fly above Gaucho. The beast beneath him may have brawn and magic, but could he hit Bucephalus without hurting himself? The black dove again towards Gaucho's back, wings twitching to adjust for the bay's movements. But instead of his forehooves, Tan waited until he was close before he flared his wings again and snapped out his hind legs in a vicious kick towards the back of his neck before once more he swerved away.

Gaucho was, no doubt, the better fighter. He had brawn and magic. But from what Buce could see, very little brains. And a very short fuse when it came to Ampere. He twisted in the air, diving once more towards Gaucho, this time in an attempt to return the favor. This time he dove in front of Gaucho, flashing him a grin as his hind legs lashed out towards his face before once more Altan's wings snatched him away. The air was his. His. And he'd be damned if he'd loose to Gaucho in the air.

Attack: 3/3
Summary: Buce lunges up towards Gaucho as he flies overhead, trying to bite him before he too returns to the air, and flies above Gaucho. Then he dives down to try and hit his wing with his forehooves before swerving away. Again he flies up, and dives once more, this time kicking out with his hind legs towards the back of Gaucho's neck. Once more he flies up, and this time dives in front of Gaucho, trying to kick his face as he shoots past.
Notes: I wanna try another Buce/Gaucho spar later on xD Without magic >3 But...much later XDD

Bucephalus
Word Count: 351 Tags: @[Gaucho]
CREDITS
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Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#9
GAUCHO
& if we should die tonight then we should all die together

Gaucho heard sounds of pain issue from Buce amidst the dying crackle of his flames, as well as what sounded like the snapping of teeth. Perhaps the stallion's jaw snapped shut while he tried to fumble away from the flames? Gaucho couldn't tell as his large body soared forward, arching in a large circle. Perhaps the gold-flecked stallion lost a few teeth - what would Ampere think of gappy smile? SSSSSSSTOP Mara once again hissed angrily in his mind, trying to direct her bonded's thoughts back to the spar at hand and testing Buce's abilities rather than on the blue tease.

As Buce rose into the air, Gaucho's gaze narrowed, ears pinned against his skull. He was surprised that the stallion was so mobile given just how much fire had lingered against his skin - perhaps the black had a resistance that Gaucho was unaware of? That would be an interesting skill, given that they lived in the land of flame.

As Buce's words reached Gaucho's ears, a smile cracked his dark lips for the first time, and a hearty laugh raced from between strikingly white teeth. "Tokik" He chuckled as his blackened wings propelled him higher into the sky. Although Buce's comment was likely meant to continue to fuel the jealousy that he had ignited, it only served in lightening Gaucho's heart and alleviating his worries. His mind let him think that the only reason that Ampere wanted others was because they hadn't been together. If they had, Gaucho's mind silently asserted with full certainty, she wouldn't desire anyone else ever again. The untainted possibility washed over the Wildfire in a way that both cooled and burned. He felt invigorated but oddly calm - if Ampere had been with Buce, what of it? He was nothing. Not compared to Gaucho.

He was sure that Ampere knew it, and now he would make sure that Buce knew it as well.

As the stallion dove, Gaucho's body banked hard to the right. For his size, Gaucho was a strikingly agile creature. His muscular bulk aided in his drop to the right, as gravity happily began to reel him back towards the ground and away from Buce's outstretched appendages. Gaucho's body angled upwards with a flare of his flaming wings as he regained altitude, still sporting an amused smirk. As Bucephalus dove again, Gaucho's ears pinned against his skull. A wave of fire appeared under Gaucho's wings as they beat downwards, using the warm air to propel him forwards, banking again to the right, but not dropping down, to once again avoid Buce's hooves.

As Buce's body twisted in the air, Gaucho felt his right wing joint begin to ache - Buce's bite from earlier combined with his constant banking and flapping was beginning to reassert itself. As the black descended he appeared to be landing - why else would his angle put himself in front of Gaucho? The dun, who would evade but never run (and especially not with the pain in his wing gnawing at his resolve), braced himself for impact. His larger body leaned backwards slightly as black flashed before him. Buce's hindlegs struck his chest squarely, rather than his face. While surely he would have two roundish bruises to accompany the blue stripes on his chest, the kick was not a strong one - in the air there is little to use as support for such an attack, and given Buce's leaner build, he needed all the help he could get.

Leaning forward as if to resume his aerial charge, Gaucho's larger wings beat downwards against his flanks as he sought to follow the black. The golden feathers protruding from his rump were like three beacons to lock onto. He was just as fast as Buce regardless of the difference in their sizes, and while the Wildfire likely could not match him in a long distance chase, this was meant to be more of a sprint. Gaucho's feathers expertly caressed the air, automatically and instinctively correcting so as to try and stay behind those golden feathers, but high enough that he was out of kicking distance. Once he judged himself to be close enough, Gaucho poured on one final burst of speed, aiming to slam his already outstretched hooves into the top of Buce's rump. The attack was meant to hit the fleshy part of his ass, perhaps grazing his thighs and causing the kind of pinching-pain that makes you want to scream and laugh and cry all at the same time, rather than inflict any serious wounds. Gaucho didn't need to break his newest recruit, only to show him who it was he was up against.

Pulling back, the Wildfire descended easily amongst the cherry trees and gently falling blossoms.


tokik; fool




The next post is your closing post, so all you do is respond to the attacks (you can't attack back).

Summary: Gaucho evades the first two of Buce's attacks, but due to the strain in his wing can't avoid the third. Buce kicks him in the chest. Gaucho tries to follow him, hitting him with his forelegs before returning to the ground.


Attack: 3/3
WC: 793
Timeline: Regular.
Teaching:

Oh Buce. Such a trickster. I mentioned it before, and I'll mention it again: Spars are one of the few places where you really don't want to have a short post. Sometimes during normal threads you can have a 300ish word post and actually have it capture everything that it's meant to, but with spars that's rarely the case. For instance, Gaucho's attack took off nearly 20% of Buce's overall health. That's a lot. But here's the entire summary of you describing the pain: bellow tore from him, and he whirled, wings snapping out. What about it hurt? Where was he burned? Why didn't those injuries or the injuries from Gaucho's last attack effect all of his aerial maneuvers? They should; and that's just the physical side of it. Is he mad that Gaucho keeps using fire? Magic? Is Buce kicking himself for not bringing a bucket of water to throw on him?

Also when it comes to your attacks, again, there is a lot of time in between. Horses are big, and even fast ones like Buce are going to take time gliding up and down. Gaucho could easily dive away from Buce which would render his attacks completely meaningless. Remember to keep that in mind! Multiple attacks aren't always your best option, especially since the dice is only rolled once! I know you watched the video of the eagle and the hawk which is awesome, and while some of the mechanics are going to be the same, horses are still slower!

I also found this really strange: A grin cracked his features when he saw Gaucho glide overhead. Perfect. A wild laugh broke from him as he shot up to try and dig his teeth into the bay's leg. Whether he succeeded or not, the black could care less. - If he saw Gaucho gliding over head, how could he possibly think his bite would be successful? By the time he saw him, he'd already be moving away and fast, given that he's flying. At first I thought it was going to be a sarcastic bite, but then you made it seem like there was a possibility of it succeeding.

When I judge things I'm a real stickler about powerplaying. If I was judging this fight, I'd definitely mention this line: ...returning to fly above Gaucho. There are a few that are written similarly. Remember you cannot state where anyone but your own character is. So in saying that Buce returns to fly above Gaucho, the powerplaying is in saying that Gaucho hasn't suddenly decided to fly as high as he possibly can. Instead you'd say something like, ...returning to his previous altitude, trying to stay above Gaucho. or something like that.

Spelling/grammar: Re-read your posts!
the black could care less.: this means that he could actually care less, as in he does care some amount. The phrase is couldn't care less.
he'd loose to Gaucho in the air.: lose

Since this is a teaching spar, here's how I figure out damage and how I should react to attacks! So the first roll is for whether or not the attack hits or misses, but if you're in need of spar-muse, you can also use it to help figure out how well the attack hit or missed. For example, Buce's last attack rolled a 12.5 and Gaucho's defense is 10.5. This means that while it did hit, it didn't squarely hit (as it would have if he had rolled a 14.5 which is Buce's strongest attack). This isn't necessary, but sometimes I find it helps. The second stat rolled is for damage. Now you can interpret this in one of two ways: either with relation to your opponent, or your character. So for instance Gaucho's last damage roll was only ("only") 8.5. Gaucho's default damage stat is 7.5, so he literally can't do anything less than 8.5 (the calculation is a six-sided die roll + damage stat, so since 1 is the lowest roll 1+7.5=8.5). So when you're thinking about fighting Gaucho, whatever amount of damage you take from an 8.5 had to proportionately be weaker or equal to any other damage you take during the rest of the spar. If he keeps rolling 1's then on the pain/damage scale Buce will be taking the same amount of damage, but anytime he rolls something higher you're going to have to have it hit Buce harder than whatever you thought an 8.5's worth of pain was.
The other way to interpret the number is with relation to your character. So for that particular roll, losing 8.5HP was almost 20% of Buce's remaining health (it was actually 16.8 [ 8.5/50.5 (remaining HP)]. So if you're thinking about Buce, he's already lost 18.5% of his health up to now (62-50.5) and just roughly the same (50.5-42). So while the attack was relatively weak, Buce is now basically running at 60% of full health.

All of that isn't to say you aren't taking the damage well, it's just another way to think about the dice rolls, rather than going "hmmm. 8 pts of damage from a mythical pony. That hurts how much?????"

Finally, stats!
I mention this since I know you're trying to use Buce's speed to his advantage against Gaucho. You can look up your characters full stats via the stats request page.

So here's Gaucho
Strength 7.0 + 1.0
Speed 5.0 + 1.0
Agility 6.0 + 1.0
Endurance 4.0 + 1.0

The first column are his base stats, and the +1's come from sparring often enough to increase them.

Strength 5.0
Speed 6.0
Agility 3.0
Endurance 7.0

So in looking at this, while Gaucho started out with a speed lower than Buce's, they are actually equal now: Gaucho is just as fast as Buce is. He doesn't have the same endurance however, but he's much more agile and strong. Again, the only reason I mention this is so that when you read the post it doesn't seem like Gaucho is unfairly dodging attacks.

Table style by Tamme!
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Bucephalus the Morningstar Posts: 292
Hidden Account atk: 7 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.1 :: 6 || Tallsun HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
Azeeza :: Orange-breasted Falcon :: None Tribs
#10
To say he didn't feel a sense of delight when his hooves hit flesh would be a lie. The impact sent a jolt of smugness through the black, even if it wasn't as damaging as Gaucho's attacks had been. However, as he flew from Gaucho he heard the thudding wingbeats of the man behind him, drawing closer. His own wings picked up the tempo, Altan determined to outfly him and draw out this fight.

But then something hit his rump, grazing the burns that speckled his rear. Yep. He was down. Pain split up his spine, hind legs stiffening, and for a moment he saw black specks in his vision. Fuuuuuck that huuuuuuurt. His wingbeats grew erratic as he fought to stay airborne and suffer through the pain, but he just couldn't keep altitude when every wingbeat sent air over his rump. So he descended, stumbling to the ground and hobbling away from Gaucho, teeth gritted. He kicked him. Kicked hi- wait.

Suddenly Altan began laughing, a broken sound somewhere between a breathless gasp of pain and hysterical laughter. "You... You kicked my ass!" He choked out, then lost it when the words slipped out. Oh, his body hurt, but the image of Gaucho's kick kept sending him over the edge, entire body trembling from both exertion and laughter. He supposed he must seem mad, so he tried to reign it in and lift his head. But a look at Gaucho sent him back into hysterics, and he fought to keep his footing, wings unfurled to help him balance.

"I yeild, yeild. And i'm done, i swear." He breathed, lifting his head to look at Gaucho, calmer now, although his expression kept flickering between pain and mirth. "There's a reason i did not wish to be a warrior." He hummed, then turned his head to study himself, wincing when every shift of his legs sent throbs of pain throughout him. "Magic. Blech." He muttered, wincing before he looked at Gaucho again, amused. "I suppose i failed your test."

Bucephalus
Word Count: 338 Tags: @[Gaucho]
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Pixel by Aud

Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#11
By my verdict: GAUCHO is the winner!

GAUCHO
Realism [+3]
:: I feel like Gaucho could have taken a little more damage in his first post. It’s hard to judge sometimes, as I know with his tried warrior status he basically ignores a lot of pain, but a little more description of his damage would have helped me out, I think.
:: Keep in mind Gaucho’s size when describing him taking to flight. You didn’t write much about it, so I assume that he would have gotten a running start of some sort, but it’s nice to note that he didn’t just bounce into the air and start flying.
:: Fury boiled within the Wildfire as his body pulled upwards, soaring over the black stallion. Caution with this. Bucephalus should be in the same position as he landed, per his last post, but based on the timing that you wrote into the post he could have had time to move.
:: Nice job using the flames to help maneuver Gaucho in the air.
:: Your integration of comparisons between Gaucho and Bucephalus was really organic and didn’t feel forced at all. Nice!


Emotion [+2.5]
:: It’s clear you know Gaucho well- the emotion just flows. Right from the very beginning of your first attack, I could really connect with him.
:: Excellent ruminations from Gaucho on Bucephalus’ response to the fire attack.


Prose [+4]
:: Your posts were obviously well-edited and clearly written. Nice job.


Readability [+3]
:: No comments or concerns.

Finally tally: 65+(12.5*2)= 90HP

*******************************************

BUCEPHALUS
Realism [-2.5]
:: Remember that directions (left or right) are helpful. I was missing this for your first attack.
:: Good use of scenery in your first post.
:: Watch your wording. You stated pretty explicitly that Bucephalus darted behind Gaucho. You need to ‘try’ or ‘attempt’ such actions, as Gaucho could have moved.
:: Bucephalus dropping to the ground indicates to me that you took way too much damage for a roll of 4. Careful to really think about how you’re translating dice to damage.
:: As he smothered the flames, his hind legs kicked, shoving him away from Gaucho as quick as he could. Again, careful with how you word things. This is very definite. You can’t ‘do’ an action relating to Gaucho, you have to ‘try’ to do it.
:: Altan circled Gaucho, Just another example of powerplay.
:: Altan sprang into the air, gaining a little bit of height before diving down towards Gaucho. Pegasi are big creatures, I still always imagine them needing some sort of running start to really get any sort of height when they fly. Keep this in mind, especially when you (powerplayed) yourself circling closer and closer to Gaucho. Same thing in the third post, where he just jumped into the air and started flying.
:: When he came close, he shot his forelegs out and locked his knees, wings flaring as he aimed to hit Gaucho's wing joint with his hooves. Then he quickly pulled away, returning to fly above Gaucho. Another example. Try, don’t do.
:: Based on the fire injuries you described, I would have liked to see some mention of pain at all the maneuvering that Buce was doing.


Emotion [-1]
:: In your first post, I was really disappointed by the lack of emotion put forth. I could see logical places where you really could have expounded on what Bucephalus was feeling, but didn’t.
:: Towards the end of your second post, where Bucephalus is talking, is when I finally got a taste of his personality. Great! More of this!


Prose [+2]
:: The wording on your attack was kind of confusing and I had to go through several times to figure out what exactly you intended Bucephalus’ attack to be.
:: And he'd be damned if he'd loose to Gaucho in the air. Lose.
:: Your posts were well-edited, for the most part, although there were a few moments where I thought there were a few too many commas.


Readability [+1]
:: I was massively confused about Altan for a long time. I highly recommend putting this information in your profile, because I did not understand this was another part of Bucephalus’ personalty.
:: Your attacks were sometimes difficult to follow. Be sure to word these clearly, as they’re a very important part of the battle.

Finally tally: 31.5+(-0.5*2)= 30.5HP


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