the Rift


[PRIVATE] and i bleed when i fall down

Aurelia Posts: 307
Outcast atk: 5.5 | def: 9 | dam: 5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 15.2hh :: 7 HP: 62.5 | Buff: NOVICE
baylee
#1
I had flown to the part of the island that I had set on fire before. The smell of smoke had faded, and the plants were no longer burnt. Everything had healed. I wondered if I could heal like the plants. Could I truly fix myself? The thought was alluring, but I possessed no ability to heal. My magic was offensive. I had gotten the ability when I sought to destroy, burn, leave scars. How foolish was I to want to bring pain? I wanted to be remembered, and now I am. I've already tried to forget the pain, the memories, my past, but the scars remind me of all of it. I've stopped being scared of monster, as I've realized that I am one. Is it bad that I've stopped trying to fix myself now? It's as if I wish someone would carry me away, out of my own nightmares. Yet, I have yet to tell anyone of them.

I stood there a blank expression worn on my face, yet my eyes... they glistened with tears that dared to stain my cheeks. I let my body sink to the ground. I merely gazed around silently. I ate a few bites of grass, but I had lost my appetite. Would anyone notice my emaciated frame or did my wings hide it? I let my eyes drift closed. They felt heavy, like lead. In fact, my entire body felt this way. Oh, it'd be nice to drift off into sleep and dream peaceful things, but I know the nightmares will catch up. However, even when I'm awake I live in a nightmare. Should I truly fall asleep and allow my brain to create an array of horrifying stories that I can't scape from or stay awake and suffer through my mental pain?

During my thoughts, my body made the decision for me. I fell into a deep sleep, and it began. I began sweating, my body wet from sweat. A few seconds later I started shaking and I awoke with a loud whimper. I quickly stood up. I wouldn't allow myself to continue this self pity. I would either end it all now or continue fighting. I chose the latter. I would fight for now. I only had a glimpse of hope, yet that was enough fuel. I would beat this, or at least I hoped I would.

@[Cera]
Walking "Talking"
Aurelia

Success isn't the result of spontaneous combustion.


Cera the Golden Prince Posts: 419
Outcast atk: 5.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.3hh :: 6 Years HP: 65 | Buff: NOVICE
Ilaria :: Red Panda :: Heal Brit
#2


Snowy hooves touch down on budding greenery. The island had escaped most of the effects of winter, if only because magic seemed to hum and thrive throughout every inch of it. He alights on the earthen mound delicately, hardly stirring the cherry blossoms scattered around his hooves. Pale wings fold in a shuffle of feathers as he carries on, excitement thrumming in his veins as the smell of new earth and budding flora enrich his senses, pure and clean. Spring had finally burst through the cloud of cold that had descended upon Helovia, Cera's favorite season. His frame was still lacking, as his petite frame was not very receptive when the freeze descended, but the wiry stallion was unafraid. His faith in the God of Light and Fire was strong, and he had yet to be failed. The scar across his breast had been healed by his Lord's magic, after all. And despite the multiple scenarios he had faced, he was still alive, led to stride across the grass of the island and revel in the gentle caress of each blade against his ankles.

Spring meant renewal, hope. And, of course, foals. It seemed the moment the weather turned and released the Helovians from the cold despair of winter, everyone was inspired to have as many foals as possible. As Cera got older, he could see the reason why. Maybe far beneath his love for his family, there was even a desire to have one of his own. In the end, it was ignored. Cera had lost faith in love. His mother had abandoned him, and his father had never taken a mate until Ktulu, and the two fell apart soon after Ranjiri was born. Ryuu's parents had both vanished for varying reasons, leaving Ranjiri to rescue him from the beach. Even if he could find a kind mare to have his foal, mate or otherwise, Cera could not imagine leaving his sister to care for Ryuu alone. His duties alone kept him on his toes, and what time he did not dedicate to his rag-tag family was spent on strengthening his herd.

He shakes away the thought with a simple shake of his crown. It is too beautiful a day to delve into such saddened thoughts. What he should be doing instead is focusing on his quest, for he would not let his Lord down, even if what he sought was for his own selfish desire. So involved in his own thoughts, he nearly stumbles over the newly awakening form curled in the grass. He startles and hops back elegantly, worry instantly creasing his forehead as he notes the sweat that clings to her pale coat. "Aurelia? What's wrong, what are you doing here?" He wastes no times, dropping carelessly to his knees to be closer to her in case she requires comfort or physical assistance.

image credits
Table by Nicole (Niki)
Please only tag starting posts, spars, and threads collecting dust!

Aurelia Posts: 307
Outcast atk: 5.5 | def: 9 | dam: 5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 15.2hh :: 7 HP: 62.5 | Buff: NOVICE
baylee
#3
She was glad it was Cera that came, and not someone who would pray on her weak state. As quickly as I had stood up, I was back on the ground, weakened and scared. I didn't enjoy these dark thoughts anymore. I wanted to get rid of them, end my sadness. The painted stallion asks me questions after nearly trampling me, but I am not at all focused. I hear none of his words and all I do is sigh. I turn my cranium towards him. "I'm really sad, Cera. And I have these nightmares, they won't leave. I want to feel happy again... I don't know how to, though." The cloud of sadness, it rips away at me, every day worse than before. Yet today, a glimmer of hope. Yet the spark of light, will it still be here tomorrow? This little spark, it's the hope that powers my fiery ability.

The multi-colored stag lowers himself, aiding me, but I no longer want to stand. I don't want to stand if I'm going to just fall once more. I don't want to see even my own body reject my will. I reach my muzzle towards Cera's, hoping to touch him. Is he really here? Is my mind playing tricks? If Cera is really here, and really my friend, he'll help m, right?

I wonder if I'll have to power through this and rise above this myself. Will the truth set me free? Quickly, my thoughts become distorted. I didn't even make sense to myself. Would my words make sense to this stallion? "I thought I was in love... Then I was a wraith. My world spiraled. Before that I left home. After all this, I joined the Edge. I amassed the position of Seer, but when this was decided was a Falls prisoner, because I had burnt this place... Then I fought? Then there was death. Imprisonment there, then in the basin. Now throat is home, I think... And during falls I met Destry..... You know Destry? She's my anchor. " She's the one thing that keeps me tethered. She holds me together. My mate, she's the duct tape holding my pieces together. She's the constant that I love. The static I'm glad is static. She is my legs, supporting me. She is my wings, setting me free. I am not confused about this, not at all. But everything else? It was all fucked up.

Walking "Talking"
Aurelia

Success isn't the result of spontaneous combustion.


Cera the Golden Prince Posts: 419
Outcast atk: 5.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.3hh :: 6 Years HP: 65 | Buff: NOVICE
Ilaria :: Red Panda :: Heal Brit
#4


Her aborted attempts at standing break his heart, and he falls gracelessly to his knees, rucking up a wing and throwing it over her back in an attempt to hold her close and comfort her simultaneously. It's done with hardly a second thought, his first instinct being to protect and heal. He doesn't know what to say, at first, as she begins speaking. However, a part of him is aware that she's not finished, and so he lets her fall into silence for the time being. Sometimes it was best when he was in her position to have time to gather his thoughts, arrange them into something he could speak without doubting what he meant or worrying about having to stumble and trip on an explanation in the middle. Midas had imparted that on him, with his eloquence and infinite patience. It was one of the few things he'd given Cera that the Prince still carried around with him, as much as it hurt.

A pale muzzle reaches for him, and Cera meets it firmly, assuring her that yes, he's there. She's not alone, and he is there to help and support her. She has nothing to fear from him. His path was as tormented as hers, though in far different ways. For a moment he longs for Ilaria, who was always far more logical than he and helped him through these situations. Cera was often ruled too much by his heart, and she balanced him perfectly. Instead, he breathed deep and prayed for the strength to carry himself and Aurelia through her sorrow.

It took a few long minutes of silence after her sudden confessional to understand the story she'd just spun for him. There was a moment of discomfort over the fact that Ryuu had not even been mentioned, but it was his not past, nor his broken mind. He had promised not to judge her, and he wouldn't. Though there was no real question phrased, he assumed she needed help regardless, and so he began to speak.

"You hold too tightly to your past, Aurelia. Even those who were tyrannical rulers, who killed and pillaged, can learn to be better. But you have to let go. Hold it in your mind, never let yourself return to that kind of state, but the more you cling to it the more it festers and destroys you." Cera had experienced plenty of that when he was attacked by d'Artagnan, and the scar across his chest pulsed as if fresh, reminding him of how he'd felt the seasons after he'd nearly bled out in the forest. It had taken time, but he had been able to return there eventually. He'd even made new, better memories that had built on top of the fear and hatred he'd felt that morning.

"It's not easy, and it takes time. But you can't change the past, Aurelia. Ruminating on it will only drive you insane. Instead, look forward. Focus on building a life with Destry, on making friends and helping your herd. Keep yourself in the present, until the past has faded enough for you to deal with it properly." He nuzzled her gently behind the ears, breath washing comfortingly over the base of each like a fatherly touch intended to bring about peace and understanding. Midas had done so to him as a colt, and it had helped him find a center, find his metaphorical footing and think over what his father had told him. Cera hoped he could have the same effect with Aurelia.

image credits
Table by Nicole (Niki)
Please only tag starting posts, spars, and threads collecting dust!


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