It wasn't often that she visited the field, but it always seemed that when she did she would come across someone that played an integral part in her life. First it had been Apollo and now it was Midas. Both stallions held a piece of her heart, but it was undeniable that Midas knew her on a far more intimate level than Apollo. A piece of her was still sad that they had not been able to work out the kinks in their relationship. She had let it drive them farther and farther apart until there was no way to cross the cavern that divided them. She felt guilty for stomping on his heart and casting him aside, but it was proof that she was no good for him. Sometimes she didn't think she was good for anyone and she wondered when she would finally drive Lakota away.

'Talk to him.' Eytan's voice entered her mind. Her own crimson eyes met his warm caramel ones and she sighed softly, giving a minute shake of her head. He would not want to speak with her. He was probably angry and would be tempted to toss her right over the edge of the valley. If he did so she would not be able to blame him. 'Midas good. He not hurt without reason.' Eytan spoke confidently. 'Talk to him. Make peace. Forgive.'

The bear was far too smart and far too kind for his own good. Still, she knew that the bear was right. She would continue to harbor guilt if she did not face him and apologize for leaving him the way she did, and the anger that she felt for him not being there every day would never go away if she did not allow him speak. Eytan nudged her leg and she stepped from behind the bushes that had been hiding her and walked slowly toward the stallion.

"Midas." She spoke his name as she came to a halt near the ledge where he was standing. Eytan had trailed behind her while she walked, but as she halted he stood between her and Midas.

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@[Midas]

"Good day ye two."

Eytan grunted his hello to Midas, his sharp teeth flashing in a manner that those who did not know him would consider threatening. It was his hope that Midas would know him well enough to know that he was smiling at him and not threatening him. Ktulu was not so quick to respond, however. Her gaze lifted to Midas' face and she studied him for a moment, thinking that he sounded and looked troubled. The part of her that had been infatuated with him and loved him wanted to to ask what was troubling him and offer some form of comfort. But did she deserve to even ask? Did she deserve to offer any sort of comfort when she was more than likely one of his troubles?

"Yes." She answered when he asked if they were out for a walk. After the first part of her quest with Lakota and the anger she experienced that was directed toward the God of the Earth she had needed to take a walk to cool her head. It was ironic that she had ended up in the Heavenly Field of all places with the Earth God's most loyal follower. "Sometimes you just need to get away, y'know?"

She looked to the clouds that floated just off the edge of the field, one ear tilted toward Midas and the other tilted forward. "I'm sorry." She finally said. "That we didn't work. I'm sorry that I hurt you." But she could not be completely sorry for what they had done, the child they had conceived together. "I hope that you can forgive me." It was very strange for her to apologize and ask to be forgiven but she felt that they both needed the closure so that they could be friends.


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@[Midas]

Her mouth pressed into a thin line as Midas voiced his forgiveness then asked the same of her. "I do." She said after what felt like an eternity. "But it is difficult." She wondered if he would understand or if he would think she was crazy. "I was ... angry ... for a long time after you took over the Falls. I told myself that I would never go there, not even if my superiors told me to." How many times had she asked him to move to the Falls and stay with her? How many times had he told her no? He had asked the same of her, though he knew how she felt about the Throat. There was a difference in the positions, however, and that difference was that she was not living in the Throat now.

"I was angry because no matter how many times I asked you refused. Then the Earth God tells you and you go." Perhaps it was bold of her to assume that the Earth God had told Midas to go to the Falls, but Ktulu knew that the Gods had chosen their own leaders for their land after the darkness. "What I don't understand is why you were so resistant when you worship the Earth God so thoroughly and claimed to love your family so much. Were your ties to a plot of land that much more important than your god? Your family?"

She would probably never understand Midas' reasoning because she did not have the ties to any particular land like he did. She was not born and raised in Helovia, she had been a refugee from Isilme and had known little of the gods and their lands. Truly the only god she had known for the longest was the Earth God and it was only because he had healed her legs. After her final question she remained quiet, wondering if she had crossed the line with her questions, but not caring if she did. Didn't she have a right to know why he had refused her?

"Has Hototo or Ranjiri paid ye a visit? Thee is a grandmare now."

Her sides heaved as she coughed, choked on her own saliva and the knowledge that one of her children had a child"No..." She said in response to Midas' first question. "Which one?" She prayed that it was not Hototo who had a child. She wasn't ready for her oldest to be a father, but neither was she ready for her youngest to be a mother. "Tell me about the child."

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@[Midas]

"Then why don't you?" Ktulu asked as Midas revealed that he thought of leaving the Falls and going back to the Throat. "Is a god's request worth so much more than your own happiness?" She would never understand how he could be so self-sacrificing all of the time. She wondered if he ever made a decision based on what he wanted and not on what everyone else wanted? That lead to her wondering if his decision to stay in the Throat was one that he wanted, and if that was the case had he ever truly wanted her and their family?

"I never wanted to hurt ye, but I couldn't forsake those that looked to me for guidance. Kri had gone away, at the time there were few if any others that would take her mantel."

"Someone would have risen to take her throne." She disagreed. "There is always someone power hungry and ambitious enough to want to take over. You've witnessed it first hand, Midas." She thought that he was only making excuses for why he refused to join her and make their family something solid. When he questioned if a different decision would have affected the outcome of their relationship she sighed. "Neither you or I can answer that truthfully. I think had we been together we would have had more of a chance."

"Could I have swayed ye to love me as I did?"

"I did love you." The Constrictor answered quietly. "But how could I put all of my trust and all of my love into someone that I felt didn't truly want to be with me?" At times she had thought that he didn't want anyone in the Throat to know of their relations. She felt as if she was an afterthought, not someone important enough to be kept by his side all the time. She had craved the attention, so desperately wanted the love and affection everyday. Gradually her emotional connection was chipped away with each 'no' she received when she asked him to stay with her until there was nothing left but a husk of what she had felt.

"Ryuu."

The colt's name comes moments later as well as the revelation that her daughter is the child's mother. "Of course he is strong." She says. "He is my grandson. I would expect nothing else." Eytan chuffs and shoves against Ktulu's leg, making her shift. 'So cocky.' The bear teases, making a small grin curve the corners of her mouth upward.

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@[Midas]

Perhaps she could have joined Midas in the Throat, but Ktulu had not been happy living there. If she had been happy then she never would have left and Midas should have known that. She'd expressed her dislike of the Throat on more than one occasion, but whether or not he listened was on him. Maybe they had just been destined from the very beginning to fail. They would never know and could only think 'what if'.

Ktulu's gaze shifted to meet Midas' as he admitted that he was not happy and, she assumed, had not been happy for a while. Had his unhappiness started with her? She did not feel it was right to admit to him that she was happy when he had not found his own happiness, but she could not lie to him. "I have." Ktulu admitted. "I've made a place in the Edge. Archibald serves as Captain and I am his Sergeant. At one point I served as Captain with him, but I've since stepped down to aid Lakota in a quest." She paused, wondering if she should continue or leave it at that. In the end she decided to continue on. "She desires for us to have children... and I want to make her happy."

Would she actually be able to or would she fail yet again? Only time would tell.

"Midas..." Ktulu spoke the stallion's name the paused. "Are you not happy in the Falls?" She kept her gaze steady, looking for some sign that he might be lying when and if he answered her question. "When was the last time you were truly happy?"

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@[Midas]

Ktulu nodded her head when Midas asked if it was possible for her and Lakota to have children. "It is." She said. "The Earth Tr... God." The dark mare caught herself from calling the God a Troll in front of one of his most loyal followers. She sighed and continued. "The Earth God has given us a three part quest to complete, but it seems he's more interested in playing games." No matter anyone said she would remain convinced that the Earth God was just screwing with them. Why? She had no idea but she planned on finding out one way or another.

Her own question to Midas was posed and she stood waiting and watching him. She noticed the way his lips pinched together, saw the shadow that darkened his his eyes, and she wondered what had happened to him. The Midas that she had known had burned brightly but this Midas seemed like nothing but an ember that was burning out. She wondered if she had started it when she'd ended what had been between them and if the Falls was finishing what she had started. Her expression didn't change when he admitted that there were moments that made his life worthwhile. He next admitted that there was someone who made him happy, though the tone of his voice seemed to speak otherwise.

Ktulu stepped closer to Midas, her muzzle reaching to touch his neck. "Then why do you look so sad?" She wasn't sure why she cared when she had spent so long being angry with Midas. Still, he hadn't answered one of the questions she had asked him to her satisfaction. "Are you happy in the Falls?" She asked again.

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@[Midas]

He flinched away from her touch and Ktulu sighed as she withdrew her muzzle. She had only sought to offer him a little bit of comfort, but really, what comfort could she offer? Were ex-lovers ever able to be a comfort for those that they had loved? Were they ever able to be on friendly terms again or were they destined to have the tenseness between them until they both faded into nothing. For whatever reason it made her sad because she still did care for Midas even after being so frustrated and angry with him for so long. He had been her first love and though that love had fizzled out was it wrong for her to want him to be happy?

"No." She murmured when he forced a smile and asked if it was better. Ktulu could not hide the sadness that colored her voice and showed in her eyes. She shook her head and averted her gaze from Midas, unable to look at the smile that looked so out of place on features she remembered to be so gentle. An ear tilted in his direction when he spoke of his grief, but she did not ask what he was grieving. In time he volunteered the information and the name seemed somewhat familiar but the dark mare could not place her.

"I'm sorry." Ktulu said, though she still did not look at Midas. "We're all losing loved ones." She wondered for a moment if the same evil that killed Seele had killed her own mother, but then she remembered the gaping hole in her mother's chest. It had not been evil alone that had killed her. Whatever evil it was had been aided by a very mortal body. "I hope you find peace." Still, she did not look to Midas. "And I hope you allow yourself to find happiness, even if it means walking away from a job that your God gave to you." How many others could the gods find to walk in Midas' hoof steps? In her own? They were nothing more than chess pieces being moved around by the gods in hopes of a checkmate.

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@[Midas]