the Rift


[JUDGED] The same heart beats | Meg
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#1


He had been wrong. Very wrong. It was his fault really, to have the audacity and naivity to think that the Sun God's quest would not take from him everything he had. In his arrogance he thought the Sun God would not - could not - possibly take his sight. What good was he to his herd, his family, his deity if he could not see evil to ward it off? He had thought the loss of the sensation of touch was going to be the extent of it ... until it wasn't. Slowly he had felt the weight of Mara in his antlers and realized that that aspect of his quest had ended. Having been in the Throat at the time he had turned to see if the land bridge would suddenly ... what? Burst into flames? Disappear? Crumble into the surrounding waters? He didn't know what he expected the Sun God to do, although he did have full confidence that when he completed his task the bridge would be destroyed. Not wanting to doubt the omniscience of his beloved deity, he could only assume that he had left some task unfulfilled.

That was when he noticed it.

No one was around.

There was no one anywhere. He thought he could hear the sounds of his herd, but as he scanned the reddish sands there was not a soul present. A creeping chill began to spread across Gaucho's spine and down to his hooves. Snorting he quickly took to the skies, thinking that his herd must have just congregated somewhere the he could not see. But after reaching a high enough place his fears were confirmed: they had gone. Fear flooded the Wildfire as he immediately shot North. Through the meadow he flew, again seeing not so much as a bird. Was he dreaming? Had every being just suddenly vanished? Was such a thing even possible. In order to try and calm her bonded, Mara slipped down the bridge of his nose to nuzzle the darkened hair there affectionately. Much to Gaucho's surprise, while he could feel her, he couldn't see her. I sssssssee them She reassured him as he glided, still nuzzling his nose.

"Gaucho no see..." He responded somewhat anxiously, still staring at the ground as he flew as if trying hard enough would make everyone appear again. Muuussssssstt be part of your qqqqquessssssssst She continued, curling back into his antlers.

While it made sense, it was a horrifying thought. He could see nothing. Again the loop of, what good am I to the Sun God began to play in his mind, until a new thought occurred to him. What if this was a test? Did he really rely so heavily upon his sight that he would fall to any in this state?

Fortunately, he would soon find out. He had promised to spar with Meg, one of his most promising warriors (one of whom he was proudest, in fact) shortly. He had thought the bridge would be gone by then with no more effects of the quest to prevent him from giving Meg his all. Although his inability to see the creatures around him would prove difficult, perhaps ... perhaps it was not an insurmountable handicap.

Gaucho landed on the Island - he and Meg had agreed to meet here although it seemed to him that he was the first one to arrive. Although immediately after that thought struck him he realized how foolish it was. She could be standing here and he wouldn't know it. Not heerrreeee Mara mentally hissed adoringly, mildly amused by Gaucho's utter lack of direction. With an unimpressed snort, Gaucho looked about. The grasses were even longer here than they had been when he sparred Panzram, although he wasn't so close to the edge of the island as he was before. He was near the grove of cherry trees, although the area was flatter and the trees were not clumped together as they were in the grove, but had a good distance between them. The sun was half way between noon and setting, at nearly a 45 degree angle in the sky.


"MEG!" He bellowed loudly, as if she was going to have a hard time finding him



Setting: About 3pm - the sun is half way between highnoon and setting. Gaucho is inland on the island. He's nearish to the grove of cherry trees, but still in a flat field with only a few trees clumped together. The grass is long.


Timeline: Regular
WC: 716
Attack: 0.3
Teaching notes: None yet!

Summary: Gaucho realizes his quest isn't over and that he still has more senses to lose. He notices that he can't see anyone - UHOH. But he still decides to meet Meg on the Island for their spar anyways.


@[Megaera]- Feel free to attack first! This is the part of his quest where he can't see any living creatures. Our roll thread will reflect those stat changes!



Edited because typo in the title :(


Image Credits
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Megaera the Sunspear Posts: 306
Absent Abyss atk: 6.5 | def: 10.5 | dam: 4.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 15 h :: 8 [Birdsong] HP: 70 | Buff: NOVICE
Gwaihir :: Golden Eagle :: None Laine
#2

megaera</style>
so tell me why I should run for cover
at the sound of the coming thunder</style>

The past weeks had been strange, to say the least. When Meg tried to count the days they had a tendency to smear together in on convoluted blur of events and emotions. The shame that had plagued her journey back to Helovia had been eclipsed by the joy of homecoming, but even that joy was tainted. Her return had coincided with the string of murders that had taken two of her herd and though she had never met the two fallen mares, the attack in her family was still sorely felt. Though here and there she’d been warmed and contented in meeting more members of her herd, a drive to punish and protect had kept her on the move. Back and forth she’d gone, patrolling the borders of Dragon’s Throat and beyond, trying to gather what information she could. It was this last effort that had kindled the festering pit of frustration in the warrior’s stomach. She’d seen body after body, found clue after clue and had come no closer to stopping this phantom murderer. She was a fighter, god damn it, not a hunter or a tracker or a spy. She would take on any enemy face to face without batting an eyelash but how was she supposed to guard against what she could not find?

By the time Megaera was to leave Dragon’s Throat and meet Gaucho on the floating isle, she was itching for a fight. Spar or not, she needed to hit something, needed to be hit, needed an outlet for aggression so she could hopefully quash this feeling of ineffectual frustration. She took off from the oasis in a flurry of wings and aimed herself to the west. She followed the sun and as it was nearing the halfway poin in the sky ahead of her, she soared over the falls as the island’s edge When she heard her Sultan bellow from not far off, a mischevious smile spread across her face. Time for a fight.

The warhawk didn’t have too many qualms about fighting a little bit dirty. Gaucho was bigger that she, and far more experienced, Meg had to use any advantage she could, and if he couldn’t hear her approach? All the better. And she aimed her body upward, gaining altitude. By the time she spotted Gaucho in the open field, she would be no more than a pinprick in the open sky, and as long as he didn’t happen to look up…

She mounted her attack from the air, folding her wings tight against a lithe body and plummeting strait toward the earth. Her body spun through the air, gaining speed with every foot she fell. She had tried to think it through on her way here; she’d have to avoid his antlers. She’d rather not be impaled on them herself and this was only a spar… snapping her Sultan’s neck by dropping in it from the sky was not what she had in mind. She aimed for his haunches instead, never taking her sharp eyes from her target and she came closer…. Closer…. Then the moment came. Megaera was only yards above the ground when she flung her wings wide, the slight break in momentum gave her enough leverage to swing her hind legs downward and aim both hooves squarely toward Gaucho’s backside. She really hadn’t planned for a landing. But then, she had never been aces at those any way. A tumble off to the stallion’s left was her only option, she would just have to make it to her feet as quickly as she could.

- - -


WC: 597
Attack: 1/3
Defense: 0/1

Summary: Megaera flies from the Throat to the isle and comes to the field at a high altitude. Attacks Gaucho from above with hind legs aimed to strike at his haunches then tumbles to the Ground off to his left.
Notes: Meg assumes that Gaucho is still unable to hear and has not lost his sight!
Tags: @[Gaucho]

Image Credits
FAC FORTIA ET PATERE
be brave and endure
:: permission given for use of magic and force :: please tag Megaera in all posts ::
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#3


What would Gaucho do without Mara? Rarely did she strike in spars anymore for Gaucho had grown to the point where he did not need to utilize her special set of skills quite so often. But that didn't mean that she wasn't being useful the entire time. Mara often acted as a second set of eyes during these dances - most often when Gaucho's opponent had a companion. She could easily peer behind him, to search dark areas and to try and find those who might be lingering while Gaucho's focus was elsewhere. They had become quite the pair, although her contributions went largely unnoticed. Although she was nearly 6 feet long now, she stayed firmly coiled in Gaucho's impressive rack of antlers, or wound around his neck under his mane.

While she would not bite anyone from the Throat for fear of accidentally poisoning and paralyzing them, she was more than happy to serve as another set of eyes while sparring them - although given Gaucho's current questing status, she would be the only set of eyes.

SSSKKKYY she projected, her voice a rattle of excitement. Ssshe comesss!

Gaucho looked into the sky, almost directly at Meg, but saw nothing but a blue BirdSong afternoon. His dark ears flickered trying to hear the sound of her wings on the breeze but detected nothing. She wasn't terribly close then. Spinning slightly, Gaucho realized just how difficult this was going to be. He felt as though Meg could be anywhere. Hissing softly, trying to refocus her bonded, Mara projected the images she was seeing: of the mare descending rather quickly.

Snorting Gaucho retreated a few steps, his gaze still pointlessly searching the skies. GOOOOOOOOOO Mara hollered, leaning her body to the left to try and pull Gaucho around to move away from where Meg was quickly descending. Uncertain of where exactly he was meant to go, Gaucho spun on his hind legs with relative ease, and energetically cantered forward. He could hear the air behind him suddenly come into contact with something as Meg's wings stretched outwards to slow herself. Snorting, unable to tell whether or not she was planning on landing behind him, he allowed himself a brief halt in his stride at literally the exact wrong instant. Another full stride and Meg's hooves might have missed him entirely.

Gaucho felt pain rake down both sides of his rump, with special emphasis on his left side. A snarl pulled his lip up as he squealed with pain and surprise. His hind legs popped off of the ground as he hopped forwards, ears pinned against his skull. Flares of what felt like fire moved up and down his thighs and back, radiating outwards from where her hooves had struck. Her attack hadn't broken the skin, but it certainly did smart, and would likely be much more sore the next morning.

The dun's left ear flickered forward as the sound of hoofs upon grass was heard, and Gaucho was surprised to find that he could see the grass moving. With an energetic hiss Mara confirmed that indeed that's where Meg had landed (more or less). Delighted at this new turn of events, Gaucho lunged forward and to the left. His stride was not nearly so energetic and bouncy now that his ass had been literally kicked, but nevertheless his large body covered the ground quickly.

He lowered his left shoulder, bracing his nose inwards to the right as he threw himself .... well, into nothing. Although he could see the grass rippling with movement, he couldn't in fact see anything that was doing the moving. Anticipation mixed with uncertainty as the dun braced himself for impact. He wasn't entirely sure where he would hit Meg if he even was near her, although the un-automated Mara navigation system suggested it would be Meg's right shoulder and flank area if he was successful, given how much larger he was than she. Still, Gaucho felt like he was merely going to continue awkwardly cantering with his shoulder to the left in an awkward circle. It just didn't seem possible in his primitive mind that there was actually the body of his warrior somewhere before him.





Timeline: Regular
WC: 710
Attack: 1.3

Summary: Meg hits him squarely on the ass. He sees the grasses disturbed where she's crash landed and throws his shoulder to the left as he canters towards it, trying to knock into her right shoulder.

Teaching notes: This was a really solid opening post! I think that there was a good amount of motivation (why is Meg here) and emotion (how she's feeling in general, but also about this spar). Really, really excellent! Mentioning tactical things now is also really good - that both Meg (and you!) are thinking ahead is super important. Gaucho also has Mara and his bone spikes around his shoulders don't forget! There's also his magic, a good tip for fighting anyone basically is to look and see what their actual magic does. Sometimes the way people write their character using their magic can be confusing, so looking in the records to see the actual restrictions can be super helpful.

The only thing I might mention is Meg's 'landing' . She's flying over, fanning out her wings to decelerate, tries to kick Gaucho's ass with her back legs. Why on earth is she rolling to his left, and more importantly, WHY IS SHE NOT LANDING NORMALLY. Okay so you mentioned that she isn't good at landings, okay fine. But to actually tumble is a big deal. For her to full on fall down almost seems like she's taking damage (for instance, if she had gotten a critical miss I could see you having her wildly miss and then ruin her landing and injure herself). So while I think what you were going for is 'Meg is inexperienced and uncoordinated', I think you might have taken it too far. Horses are big, tumbling down, especially after flying quickly will hurt them.

All in all though this was a FABULOUS first post!





Image Credits
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Megaera the Sunspear Posts: 306
Absent Abyss atk: 6.5 | def: 10.5 | dam: 4.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 15 h :: 8 [Birdsong] HP: 70 | Buff: NOVICE
Gwaihir :: Golden Eagle :: None Laine
#4

megaera</style>
so tell me why I should run for cover
at the sound of the coming thunder</style>

Contact. Megaera’s hind hooves slammed into the stallion’s rump, the shocks of impact vibrating up her black stockinged legs. There was an instant of satisfaction from hitting her target before she realized she didn’t have much time until she would hit the ground as well. The ground came up and she went down legs reaching for purchase in the tall grasses. The bay managed to stay upright, but not very gracefully. Hoof over hoof, one after the other she tried to think, tried to collect her legs under her and regain balance. Damn the ground! It should have been easier to stand on but compared to the freedom of the air it was nothing but an obstacle. Meg swung her head upwards as she staggered and caught a glimpse of the stallion that caught her attention like a shot. His ears had moved in her direction, so he could hear? And his eyes seemed trained on her feet. That didn’t make sense, why would he be looking at the ground and not at her? But he had two sets of eyes didn’t he. The great black snake was coiled tight about her bonded, Meg would have to be sure she didn’t accidentally hit her.

It was Meg who was about to be hit.

Gaucho was already charging, neck curled and shoulder thrust forward. He was much to close and coming to quickly for her to move out of the way. All the little warrior could do was brace for the impact. She halted any forward motion herself and spread her legs under her, hooves digging into the rich dirt for a solid foundation. She barely had time to tense up her muscled before… BAM! Meg felt the impact like a boulder had slammed into her. The stallion’s broad shoulder hit her right side directly behind knocking the breath from her body in a grunt and gush of air. She’d braced well but the force of his blow still moved her body a good half foot and left four gouges in the lush grass. There were four gouges on the little warriors shoulder as well. The wicked spikes that ringed the stallion’s neck weren’t large but his forward momentum had raked a few shallow furrows in her neck. Blood welled in the shallow cuts but the sting went almost unnoticed compared to the deep stab that a lack of oxygen rendered in her lungs.

Megaera curled away from him, peeling to her left with her head hung low. Feet shuffled, bringing her body in a small arch and all the way around. If her opponent continued on his trajectory, she would come up behind him. Here she stopped, taking a moment to shake off her winded state and pull air back into her lungs. On a deep breath, she flexed her right shoulder, trying to feel the extent of the damage. It was still useable but soon the soreness would come and in a day or so it would be no use at all. She had to think fast, had to do something before that behemoth could bear down on her again and there was only one word that resonated in her mind. Fly.

And fly she did. The fine dark wings, the best part of her, extended again and came down in a rush to launch her into the sky. Up she flew and forward chasing after Gaucho and trying to think what she would do when she caught him. The first thought was to do the same thing, kick him in the ass again, but no, this was just a spar. She couldn’t focus too much on any one spot and cause him real injury so she’d have to think of something, anything else. The warrior didn’t hesitate, and as she surged forward that thrill of the fight shut down every other feeling. This was what she was supposed to do.

She flew low, the tips of her hooves skimming along the tall grasses and wing tips stirring the plain with every downward sweep. In a flash, she was behind him. A wide grin on her features, she called out: "On your left!” but she swerved right. With a final swipe of her wings, she came up along his right side and leaned in with her left. With her left wing tucked she made to slam into his left shoulder and aim a quick bite on his neck. Her own neck was curved, trying to avoid contact with those spikes and her teeth snapped at a point right behind his head. Just as quickly as she had come in she unfurled and was off again, shooting up into the sky. She would be better there, faster. Let him follow.


- - -


WC: 790
Attack: 2/3
Defense: 0/1

Summary: Meg curls around to her left, coming up behind Gaucho. She takes a second to breath and the launches into the air. Flying low, she comes up behind him, calls out to try and trick him into looking left and then swings around to his right. Coming up alongside, she tries to slam her left shoulder into his right and aims a bite at his neck. After her attack she flys upward, hoping Gaucho will follow her into the air.
Notes: Tried to edit her previous landing a but so she was more off balance and not “tumbling” per say, does that work a bit better? [Edited to fix speech color]
Tags: @[Gaucho]

Image Credits
FAC FORTIA ET PATERE
be brave and endure
:: permission given for use of magic and force :: please tag Megaera in all posts ::
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#5

Gaucho felt - actually felt the hit, unlike his previous spar with Panzram - causing a wave of satisfaction to roll and ebb through his core. His left shoulder collided with something solid - though because of his bulk he was unable to discern exactly what part of her he had hit. He was big, she was small, but he had hit his target ... somewhere. With a grunt the dun realized that he could quite easily injure his warrior if he wasn't careful. Although he never would during a regular spar, there was no principled reason his body couldn't deal lethal damage. His antlers certainly could pierce veins if they were applied with the right force. Not to mention the tines and the spikes around his neck could more than easily take out an eye or sever a ligament.

This time at least his slam wasn't accompanied by any sort of blood curdling scream to indicate significant damage. However as a few seconds passed Gaucho realized that nearly no sound escaped the mare, except for air being shoved from her lungs. Gods he wished he could see! All that his gaze picked up was grass being thrown upwards as her invisible body was shoved to the left. It seemed surreal, as if he truly was fighting with a creature who possessed invisibility. Why had it taken until now to realize what a huge benefit becoming invisible would be? Why hadn't he thought of this sooner?

However now was not the time for selfish planning. Easily his primitive mind rolled back into action, following Meg's roll to the left with a darkened ear positioned on where noise was coming from. Suddenly the sound stopped and the dun could no longer hear Meg's hooves pounding against the earth. Hissing to gain Gaucho's attention the snake projected the image of Meg standing only a few feet away. She appeared to be breathing hard - likely catching the breath Gaucho heard fly from her lungs, and flexing a wing. Was that blood? It wasn't as though he could zoom in on Mara's vision, and the way she viewed the world was quite different from him. Still, it seemed he had hit her shoulder where he intended.

Gaucho's hindquarters swung around, bringing his blue-striped chest to face where Meg stood, although he could only see her shadow upon the grass (although given the dipping sun her shadow position made her look farther than she actually was. If not for where it connected to her hooves the Wildfire would have been looking about 3 feet in the wrong direction).


Gaucho heard the song of Meg's wings pushing down on the air as she took flight. It was a sound that pegasi knew instinctively, one they had grown up around. There was no mistaking that sound. Meg knew he was on his quest - knew that he would lose his senses. But did she know which one he currently had lost? Perhaps ... perhaps that's why she had stopped and faced him, to see if his gaze would immediately snap to hers, or if it would linger on the ground. That why she flies the dun thought grimly. It was clever. Very clever. In the air there were extra directions from which he could be attacked (above and below) and he would no longer be able to use her shadow or the grass to detect her movements. It would be all instinct and Mara.

Good he thought, pride and intrigue flooding his veins. Pride for the natural tactician Meg was proving herself to be, and intrigue to see just how well he'd be able to handle his blindness in the air.

Mara's hissing and mental projection revealed that Meg was heading directly for him. She was skimming the ground low, so that even now he was still taller than she. He could not see her, but could see the grass stir with every downbeat of her wings. Gaucho leaned back, fanning his flaming wings from his sides and snapping them downwards sending a blast of fire straight forward - in the direction he thought his warrior was coming from.

On your left! She called as his wings returned to their resting state, although now that Gaucho was facing her rather than facing away as she had assumed, her fake-out proved detrimental in a different way. Instinctively Gaucho looked left in time to feel her body slam against his left shoulder, and twinging his neck painfully. However her forward momentum painfully pulled his left wing backwards as he felt a bite grace the side of his neck. Gaucho squealed painfully as his left wing delicately pulled inwards to his flank.

How was he supposed to chase her in the air now? His wing tingled as blood flowed back painfully into the muscles, causing them to stiffen and throb.






Timeline: Regular
WC: 800
Attack: 2.3

Summary:

Teaching notes:

I'm happily surprised. These are AWESOME posts given how little you've sparred! I'm happy with how Meg took the landing. In the future though be careful that you're never re-writing something that's happened. I don't think it looks like you did that this time, but it's something to be cautious of. There's a tendency to want to alter small details from one post to another based on what your opponent writes, but you absolutely cannot do this. What usually leads to this is the presence of what I call 'empty space'.

'Empty space' in a spar is when your character pauses or does something that takes up more than a few seconds worth of time. You had a little bit of that here. So, Meg circles around Gaucho and then stops to catch her breath. This is definitely realistic, but what's to stop him from blasting her with fire? If he did that, you'd have to somehow write that into her response without actually changing anything you said she already did. So imagine he completely burned her shoulder. Now it's very weird that she's using that same shoulder to attack him. OR imagine that he takes to the air and follows her. Now what is she doing swooping down and throwing her shoulder into thin air? It's one of the weird things about aerial battles especially, because there's lots of hang time. One thing I've learned about spars is not to write things too far in advance and not to write too many attacks. You never know what your opponent will do, and somethings it actually makes it harder on yourself.

I LOVED that Meg faked Gaucho out. I chuckled out loud as I read that because he would 100% fall for that. A+ for creativity and figuring out Gaucho's handicap and using it against him!

I know you were running out of words, so it could have been that you deleted things that would have added to what I'm about to say, but I'm still waiting for more emotion from Meg. Like, he's almost an idol to her (ish). Isn't she shitty bricks to be sparring him now? Even if he is blind? He's still sort of a tank. Does she think he'll be proud of her? Is she worried about losing her title if she doesn't do a good enough job? If not, why not? Also, given that Gaucho can't see is she worried he'll accidentally murder her without meaning to? Etc.

Lastly, take a look at damage. Gaucho did 10.5pts of damage. His highest is 13.5 and lowest is 8.5. So his attack was more or less in the center of his range. Maybe it was Meg's lack of response, but I think I expected a little bit more from her. Like, she braced herself, got shoved and received four cuts (good!) but there was no cry of pain to indicate her injury. She took a breath after and you mention it affects her flying later which is superb. I think I was just thrown off by her initial lack of response.

Lastly, I'm a HUGE stickler for PP, so I tend to be harsher than other judges do. HOWEVER it is something you should stay a mile away from. This, In a flash, she was behind him. A wide grin on her features, she called out: "On your left!” but she swerved right. With a final swipe of her wings, she came up along his right side and leaned in with her left. Is PP. You can't dictate that Meg comes behind him, or that she comes up on his right side. Gaucho can do anything he wants - he could spin around (meaning she wasn't behind him, but infront), and he could also just disappear (if he had that magic :P ). The point being you can never tell me where my character is, even if you're just trying to map out where yours is. What you want to say is that Meg tried to fly behind him. Or that she tried to come up on his right side (assuming he hadn't moved). Something that qualifies her actions to indicate that you aren't telling me where Gaucho is.

Image Credits
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Megaera the Sunspear Posts: 306
Absent Abyss atk: 6.5 | def: 10.5 | dam: 4.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 15 h :: 8 [Birdsong] HP: 70 | Buff: NOVICE
Gwaihir :: Golden Eagle :: None Laine
#6

megaera</style>
so tell me why I should run for cover
at the sound of the coming thunder</style>

In its forging, a sword must be plunged into fire repeatedly to make it strong. It seems that fate conspired to make Meg into a sword. In Helovia, she had encountered flames that burned both inside and out, ones that pained and ones that fortified. Her fall into the Heart had been painful but the flames that had cloaked her herd in the time of the wraiths had been a shield against despair. The flames that Gaucho sent her way were the sort that burned. She had no time to change her course but had to let the flames engulf her as she aimed her attack. She hit, but the impact gave her singed front a sharp jolt. The pain was outrageous, biting everywhere as she passed through the wall and Meg thought she might be in the Heart’s fire again and repeated the strangled, angry scream she had used then but there was fire on the inside too. Meg had felt it there, a little candle in her heart since Gaucho had given her that gift, ‘only my best warriors’ he said. It grew, the Sun God’s magic; pride and warmth and heart and home in the depths of her until the pain on the outside dulled from an explosion to an ache.

Up she rose, trying to draw the stallion into the air, trying to ignore the throbbing in her skin. Surely the scars on her muzzle and legs would be joined by a few others when she healed. Fire over fire will leave its mark. With a few wisps of smoke trailing, her wings came down in heaving drafts pulling her upward. If she could draw him up into the sky, the ground wouldn’t give her away. At least, she assumed that is what had done it, Gaucho had never seemed to look directly at her, so perhaps his quest had effected his sight, but he still seemed to see where she had been, or perhaps he had turned where Mara pointed. If she had the time, she would envy that extra pair of eyes, that companion in battle, and being able to show fire like that would be helpful.

How she could have hoped to defeat Gaucho? Even when he pulled his attacks, he was so much more powerful than she, his lightest blows outweighing her hardest. He was magnificent, even now Meg was in awe. Strong and sure and mighty, the little mare could never hope to match him, though her heart desired little else. She might be fast in the air but to see the Sultan fly was awe inspiring. To see him fly… Meg cranked her head around, was he following? She hadn’t hear him take of but why would he choose not to chase her? Panic seared her throat. She had been distracted by her own pain when she had hit him, but she knew she had stuck his wing, how far had she bent it? Meg had to believe she had not permanent damage to her Sultan, she had to keep fighting until their spar was done. A warrior, she reminded herself could not hesitate.

Turning downwards, she aimed for the ground again. If he didn’t follow her into the air, she might be able strike him again before it was over. She dived, more controlled, less reckless, than her first and landed on the ground in front of where, in her haze, she thought he had stood. The bay mare used her singed wings for balance as she pivoted, spinning and leaning forward on her front hooves to flail high with her hind ones. She might hit his neck, his side, his wing, but his jaw would serve better to disorient the hulk.

- - -


WC: 623
Attack: 3/3
Defense: 0/1

Summary: (retroactively) Meg is burned badly along the front of her body before hitting Gaucho. Uses rank magic to dull her pain. (moving forward) Lands and pivots, trying to aim a kick at his jaw with her hind hooves.

Notes: the herpiest derp ever to lerp
Tags: @[Gaucho]

Image Credits
FAC FORTIA ET PATERE
be brave and endure
:: permission given for use of magic and force :: please tag Megaera in all posts ::
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#7


He knew the warrior would return to the ground. As far as Gaucho was aware Meg had no magic of her own, and no companion. Her attacks could not deal the same damage as his could at a greater range. Thus he did not need to follow her into the sky: she would either wear herself out, flitting about solo, or she would grow bored and return to the ground. Whichever it was, the dun could be patient. One of the first rules Meg needed to learn if she was to increase her warrior-prowess, was never to let your opponent dictate the battle.

Always be in control.

Even without his sight, Gaucho had never lost control of this battle. He wouldn't start now.

Her body flitted in front of the sun, but even that wasn't the best indicator of where she was. She was too high above him, and her shadow dispersed across the grasses making it impossible to discern where she actually flew. Through Mara's gaze he watched her soaring, watched the pained beating of her wings where his flames had touched her. He hadn't wanted to damage her body too badly - should the murderer show themselves Gaucho needed all of his warriors to be ready - but he couldn't but help to force Meg to learn this one very powerful lesson: know your opponent.

If she was naive enough to think that he would go easy on her, she was wrong. He wouldn't aim to kill or permanently damage, but that was not the same as going easy. She had been foolish enough to come straight at him once before, and had been burned.

Was she really so foolish as to do it again?

The image of her through Mara's eyes as well as the darkening and sharpening of her shadow upon the grass made it clear that she was landing in front of him, similar to the move she had done only moments ago. Fire blossomed on his wings - growing brighter and hotter - as the thought of burning her in precisely the same way flooded his mind. But no ... he would show her that he had more than fire up his sleeves.

As her hooves touched the ground and began to pivot, Gaucho's right leg raised. It slammed down almost instantly, rattling and rocking the ground upon which they stood. The dun hoped that it would offset her balance, causing whatever she was about to do to fail.

Whether it worked, or whether her attack was simply ill-timed or just weak, Gaucho didn't know. He felt her hooves slam into his chest, adding semi-circles of dirt and dust to the blue stripes that already lingered across his brown skin. Immediately his ears pinned backwards as a grunt of pain was shoved violently from his lips. His left side - already sore and battered from her first attack screamed out, radiating pain seemingly across his entire left side, although his mind told him this was not true. The injury was localized to his left shoulder and across his chest, even if it didn't feel that way.

Mentally biting through the pain Gaucho lunged forward. He would not let his agile warrior escape to the skies again - not when she was so close. He didn't need Mara's vision to tell him that she was in front of him - her hooves and the movement of the grasses did that all on their own. The Wildfire surged forward and to his left - wanting any collision between he and the darker mare to be on his right side which was far less battered than his left. He hoped to collide with her left thigh muscle with his shoulder, potentially dragging his spikes along the muscle if he could. At the same time his oddly white teeth snapped at what appeared to only be air, although he hoped to find the skin of her wither or even her left wing.

Although Mara would not bite the pretty warrior for fear of causing lasting damage to her nervous system, she did try and distract her. The steel coloured snake's jaws opened wide as she hissed, and hissed, and hissed. Venom dripped from her fangs as a sound like sandpaper came tearing out of her jaws. Should the mare turn backwards to look upon her attack, hopefully the sight of the reptile within Gaucho's antlers would be the first sight she saw. Enough to perhaps deter her from retaliating.





Timeline: Regular
WC: 742
Attack: 3.3

Summary: Gaucho uses war stomp once Meg lands to try and lessen her attack or throw her off. Her hooves squarely hit his chest. As they pull away he lunges forward and to the left, trying to ram his shoulder into her left thigh, and he bites at her wither/left wing area while Mara hisses trying to be intimidating.

Teaching notes:

In its forging, a sword must be plunged into fire repeatedly to make it strong. It seems that fate conspired to make Meg into a sword. In Helovia, she had encountered flames that burned both inside and out, ones that pained and ones that fortified. ahhhhhhhhh I loved this!!

A warrior, she reminded herself could not hesitate. - SO MANY GOOD LINES. Seriously. I could quote so many things from this. You 100% nailed the atmosphere and emotion in this post. I really loved it.

- I worry about her use of rank magic. It comes across as inappropriate to me (we'll see what the judge thinks), but you are not allowed to go back and re-write things that you've already written. So last post when you attacked you finished your post with Meg flying into the air - so this part of the spar has already been written. She didn't use her magic then, so she can't use it now. It would almost be like her changing what she did completely, and say, attacking him on the ground instead of flying into the air. You really have to be careful about that. This is part of the reason why you don't want to leave blank space in a spar, because you can't go back and respond. I think it would have been perfect if she had just flown through the fire, mentally freaked out about it, and attacked as you already wrote that she did.

- Okay. I know this is a SUPER hard lesson to learn, but I think you did it again :p Imagine this (if I threw realism to the wind), and had Gaucho fly after her as fast as he could, sending his fire-animals at her. By what you've written, she lands and then bucks; but if I'm in the air, what are you doing on the ground? If I throw fire at you, where have you left yourself room to respond? That's what's so hard about flying battles, it really really is. Here's how I would have written it: "Although Meg assumed Gaucho would remain grounded due to the injury on his wing, the warrior wouldn't count on it. As she dove she kept her eyes peeled on the Sultan's bulk, ready to adjust her movements should he shown signs of movement or of taking to the air. If he did so, her attack would be to ram her shoulder into his. Also if he were truly grounded, she would try and ...." This leaves LOTS of room for you to adjust. You're almost not even writing the actual attack, or at least, you're only writing up to the second that her body hits his, and leaving everything else open.


All in all this post was EXCELLENT. Don't worry too much about the things I mentioned - You'll get the hang of it. It's a combination of knowing what types of attacks are open to your character (if you go back and read old spars [I recommend Booms/Kri] you'll get a lot of ideas. At least, that really helped me when I was starting. But you're nailing all the other important things - emotion, prose, readability, etc. Realism is only out of 5 points so don't fret too much!

The ending of this was SUPERB. You didn't write too far after your attack.




Image Credits
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Megaera the Sunspear Posts: 306
Absent Abyss atk: 6.5 | def: 10.5 | dam: 4.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 15 h :: 8 [Birdsong] HP: 70 | Buff: NOVICE
Gwaihir :: Golden Eagle :: None Laine
#8

megaera</style>
so tell me why I should run for cover
at the sound of the coming thunder</style>

She felt the ground move beneath her, a rumbling quake that sent shockwaves up the two forelegs that remained connected to the earth. The mare faltered, a moment of panic that had an image of the floating isle falling from its magical suspension and into the earth below passed through her mind, and all those without wings upon it falling right along with it to their doom. The distraction weakened her attack and spoiled her aim. The flesh she felt behind her was thick, far too solid to be that stallion’s head, his chest then? No mater, she had to move. even she knew that standing around with her back to him was a mistake. So she collected her footing and prepared to spring away after finishing her kick.

This was harder than she had thought it would be. Megaera had had no illusions of Gaucho being any easy opponent but she had overestimated her own skill. How much had she really fought? So little, and even less so of a one on one battle. In her youth it had been purely defense, a desperate attempt to avoid her brothers. With the wraiths, she had been aided and that quarry hadn’t exactly been it its right mind. But this? This was nearly impossible. Gaucho was stronger, and could attack from a distance where she could not. In order to land a blow she had to expose herself to his massive physical strength and could his flames could reach her and she approached or retreated. She could not keep this up much longer. Her right side ached and would bruise heavily before tomorrow morning and all across her from the flames had raked her, even her magic could not keep all that wicked sting from her mind.

The launched away from her landing spot, digging her hooves into the grassy earth for traction as she raced forward a few strides. She felt Gaucho move behind her, was he lunging at her? Of course she thought he would be and she thought she felt him brush her thigh, light enough to be called a miss but indeed a very close one. She tried in an instant to think of her next move but nothing brilliant would come to her so quickly. As often happened, adrenaline cut off most of her ability to plan critically. Face him! was all her mind gave her and so after a few more hasty strides to try and gain some semblance of distance and she spun again, using her wings to balance her and prepared to face the oncoming giant if he had continued forward.

She was met with a fearsome sight. In the glowing antlers, the great steel-skinned snake sat coiled, fangs bared and seemingly ready to strike. Meg should have known that Mara would not bite her, but this sight, so close and sudden drove that surety from her mind and she recoiled. Panic drove her backwards, skittering in retreat from fangs and tines and the threat of fire. “Enough!” she shouts, half terror and half command, and prays that the Sultan will listen.

- - -


WC: 518
Attack: 3/3
Defense: 1/1

Summary: Meg runs forward and away from Gaucho as he misses, turns to face him, is frightned by the sight of him and Mara so close and yells for a halt.
Notes: Hmmm, I think I definitely fudged the last summary. In the post I tried to have her magic happening when she had already hit him and was up in the air, woops! Could we continue this in another Thread? Meg would like to be all “PWEASE LEARN ME FIGHTING!!”
Tags: @[Gaucho]

Image Credits
FAC FORTIA ET PATERE
be brave and endure
:: permission given for use of magic and force :: please tag Megaera in all posts ::

Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#9
By my verdict: GAUCHO is the winner!

MEGAERA
Realism [+0.5]
:: Good thoughts on strategy against Gaucho in your first post, in making herself ‘invisible’ to him, although I sort of wonder about the landing part. Seems like after such a descent from the sky, she would want to definitely make sure to land on her feet, or else risk some serious injury to her body. Also, since you had the extra words, I would have liked to read about how much strain trying to slow herself down was putting on the wing/shoulder joint.
:: I mention this in almost all pegasus spars- horses are huge! No matter how big their wings are, they’re going to need a running start before they can lift into the air. Just keep that in mind, since you had Megaera start flying from a stand-still.
:: In a flash, she was behind him. You can only try to be behind him, you can’t dictate his location. The whole attack was written with such certainty, but that doesn’t leave Gaucho much room for interpretation.
:: Gaucho rolled a 6 in his second attack- I definitely didn’t get the sense that Megaera took that much damage. That’s the hardest he can hit, so although I thought the beginnings of the idea of pain were there, I think you could have used some of your left-over words to describe that more fully.
:: Same note with your final post- I think you needed to take more damage. Maybe you did take a bit, but I just didn’t get a real sense of it.


Emotion [+1]
:: I liked that you worked in Megaera’s consideration of the murder mystery plot, and how it was affecting her daily life.
:: I also liked how much consideration you gave to Megaera wavering between wanting to be a warrior and attack, but also to not harm her herd mate too much.
:: Good panic when she was worried about harming her idol- I wish you would have expounded on that more!
:: Overall, you had good beginnings of emotion but I always wanted more!


Prose [+1]
:: She followed the sun and as it was nearing the halfway poin in the sky ahead of her, she soared over the falls as the island’s edge point, and at, I think. Also this sentence was missing a period at the end.
:: Gaucho was bigger that she, and far more experienced than
:: He was much to close and coming to quickly too, both times
:: The pain was outrageous, biting everywhere as she passed through the wall and Meg thought she might be in the Heart’s fire again and repeated the strangled, angry scream she had used then but there was fire on the inside too. There were a few instances like this one where your sentences got a little long and run-on-esque. I think this could have been broken up into two thoughts with stronger effect.
:: so perhaps his quest had effected his sight Affected
:: She hadn’t hear him take of but heard, off


Readability [+2]
:: Just had to go back and re-read a couple places because of weird sentences or spelling mistakes.

**Minus 1 overall for editing a post**
Finally tally: 38+(4.5*2)-1= 46HP

*******************************************

GAUCHO
Realism [+4.5]
:: Good use of the scenery and tall grass to locate Megaera.
:: I thought, considering his vision and the damage he took, all of his actions were very realistic. Well done!


Emotion [+2]
:: Anticipation mixed with uncertainty as the dun braced himself for impact. Good! Love the consideration of the effect that throwing his body at empty air would have.
:: Why had it taken until now to realize what a huge benefit becoming invisible would be? Why hadn't he thought of this sooner? Good! And I like that, throughout the post, he continues to consider the implications of Megaera’s tactics. Very fitting of his warrior mind.


Prose [+4]
:: No comments or concerns, your posts were obviously well edited. There were just a couple times where I thought a well-placed comma would have helped the flow.


Readability [+3]
:: No comments or concerns

Finally tally: 54.5+(13.5*2)= 81.5HP


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