Things had been going rather rough for me as of late, and unfortunately the majority of the misery was my own fault. I had put too many of my emotions into the relationships with certain members, or rather one particular member, of the herd. Yes, it was my own fault for investing said emotions even when I knew better than to do so. It was a harsh, self-taught lesson for putting too much hope and trust into someone so early. You would think, given my history, I would have learned my lesson by now. I should have learned by now, but for some reason I ended up burned every time. It was like I was addicted to the pain, addicted to the hollow, hopelessness that further pushed me to feel sorry for myself.

What was wrong with me? Why was I so desperate for the need of my own self pity? It wasn't for the sake of receiving mercy or pity from others, or at least I never felt that way. Yet here I lay in the sands, lightly pushing tiny little dunes with my muzzle back and forth as I thought. My nose was going to be rubbed raw by the time I figured out why I always seemed to act the way that I did, hell I'd sand it down to the bone before I would ever be able to solve that problem. But...what if that was my problem? Was I actually addicted to the pain? To the pity? Had I grown so used to the emotional baggage and turmoil in my youth that I felt dysfunctional without it now that I was fully grown. My auds pinned back with shame at the thought, tucking my legs even closer to my belly as I prayed that that was not the case. It was a shame, how uncomfortable I was now. I felt unable to turn to anyone, to talk to a friend that could tell me 'you're acting like an idiot.' or 'don't worry, it will get better.' Advice, comfort, or even a proper scolding when I needed it. I would take any of it right now, for the ability to always have someone to trust and turn to.

I needed someone to fix me. I couldn't help myself.

And there I was, continuing the same destructive cycle as I buried a little shallow into the sands. If it weren't for the barking order of a female's voice, I would have probably continued to stay there wallowing. A command for the healers, given by a voice that I didn't really recognize. With a large 'oomph', I pulled myself to my feet to follow the direction of the call. In retrospect, I owed the owner of that voice a favor for enabling me to get off my ass. To be honest, I almost forgot that I was a healer of these lands. Nothing had ever been needed of me, and the Sun Physician that I had only heard the name of seemed to have disappeared. Had that person returned?

Crossing over the final dune, my eyes widened at the site of a slightly familiar looking vixen waiting for the healers to join. The opportunity to meet this very young mare had never represented itself, and I was a little surprised to see that she was the one waiting for us. Trotting up to the selection of herbs and plants, I found myself quite unfamiliar with most of them. Some of them smelled lovely, while a couple of others...I could have done without. Lifting my gaze to the young one, I dipped my muzzle towards her. "Good afternoon, I am Morrigan. Are we waiting on any others?" I asked quietly, glancing to my sides to see that I was the first to have joined her. I couldn't have been the only one expected to be here...Wasn't that large purple mare a healer too? Scarlet orbs scanned the horizon for any sign of the colorful draft.

Lingering in the Throat did have its perks. He got to watch everyone running and preparing for anything and everything. Every so often he would see someone doing something that piqued his interest, but he was far to nervous to approach them in this state. Spice and Sikeax made up the entirety of his friend group, and both, he was certain, were off doing something important and life changing while he sat with not a single special talent to his name. In the past, his mother had done some cool things with plants that made people feel better, and he loved watching her make these concoctions. Sometimes they were something the patients ate, while other times it was a mushy looking gloop that she would spread over a wound. That was all he could remember though, the actions were the only thing that stuck. Thus, he'd always wondered why certain plants had cool properties to them while other times they were to be avoided. When he had begun to eat, he was herded to eat certain things and other things his mother would run to him and shepherd him out of their path. This world was full of mysteries just waiting to be explored. It was then that a familiar voice had called out to the Throat. She was looking for healers. That sounded kind of familiar. Was that the thing that used plants to help people? Helping and Healer sounded close, so were they just called different things here? He debated at first, reigning himself in from possible humiliation. On the other hand, he did know that voice, so he was less likely to be treat as an invalid in her presence. She had defended him from Gaucho. Picking up a quick pace, he followed her voice. Ironic that the one who couldn't talk relied on the voices to lead him places. It was mere moments later that she came into view, as well as someone else. He glanced towards Sikeax before looking at the other. Her back was laced with a weird pattern, reminiscent of the sticky things that captured the bugs at home. He tilted his head, but continued to approach, assuming that Sikeax wouldn't be with her if she was going to hurt anyone. As he approached, he stopped a few feet short from the group, as to not intrude. He was just very interested in what they were discussing. Maybe then he could find something to do here. "blah blah blah." Tag;; @[] Words;; 410 Notes;;

Image by semperfiesty @ DA

Sikeax Turn everything off And just cover your neck Cause life is full of your regrets
It is not hours nor is it days that it takes for Morrigan and Scarecrow to join her, lacking the presence of Alija. Had one of her healers strayed from her task and decided to skip out on a meeting? She'd have to check on the mare at some point to assure that all was well and nothing had gone amiss. Those that had come before her as of the moment were her true focuses. Smiles are granted to them, Scarecrow warming her heart when he comes to her. The colt was growing, and despite the lack of vocal activity from him, she cared for him more than she did most within the herd. He had become her child, brother even of sorts, after the day that she had stepped before Gaucho to assure his acceptance. She would not fail him. "Hello, Morrigan, Scarecrow. I'm Sikeax, but you may know me as Sia. Do either of you know where Alija is?" She was supposed to care about the whereabouts of her herdmembers, but was this nosy? The violet vixen was supposed to have arrived when she had been called for. At least Morrigan and Scarecrow proved loyal, even if the boy might just be curious as of the things going about within his new home. Enough time was given for the others to join their party, and she wasn't going to hold up her lessons due to a single student's absence. "Do either of you know what these herbs are?" Motioning with her horn, the blue light casts over the assortment and ignites their details. She expected Morrigan to understand them minutely in that she was a healer living within the Throat. This was their home and the herbs grew without containment with an annual growing period. "Each and every one of these herbs before us grow within some part of the Throat, and most have year long growing periods. Herbs will not always be at your disposal, and yet while magic given by the Sun God is useful, it's best to still use your herbs. In case of quick situations, it's best to know their use and location. As of knowing what they are exactly, do you know their purposes and places of growth?" She tries to sound stern, like a teacher who knows what she is doing exactly, but deep down, a coil tightens within her stomach because she has never spoken before a group. Social anxiety was a bitch even if you have someone with you that you can trust. Please, at least let them know a few of them so that it doesn't appear I've failed my job as Sun Physican before. OOC: Feel free to pull a few herbs of the list to search around online and study them. Your characters aren't expected to know every single one on the list, but knowing/recognizing one or two would be great. coding images