"What do I do?"

The question came unbidden in the form of a childish groan from dark lips as Apollo lay upon the cool, damp earth, legs sprawled out lazily from the stallion's large body. He lay upon his side, head nestled in the soft, sweet spring grasses that were blossoming from every crevice of the World's Edge. Birdsong was in full swing, and normally the Merciful stallion would be out greeting the blooming trees, welcoming them from their deep winter slumber, but his mind was wrought with conflict of unimaginable severity.

"Zola... What in the heavens do I do?"

Settled over the stallion's throatlatch, paws splayed out from front to back, the said young kitten sucked in a tiny breath to fill her equally tiny lungs and purred. She could feel the conflicting emotions within the form of her larger bond-mate, and honestly, the feline runt had no idea what to do to help. So, she remained where she was, black body blending in with Apollo's ebony pelt, and purred.

Since settling within the World's Edge, Apollo had become aware of something that just wasn't right, some terrible realization that was both terrifying and exilerating all at once. On one hand this new discovery was exciting and caused his heart to beat fast within his ebony breast... But on the other hand, it was terrifying, and caused a wave of guilt to raise up and consume the stallion until he was a wallowing puddle of confusion and self-loathing upon the Edge ground.

Hence, where he was now.

Honey-brown oculars slid closed beneath black eyelids, and in the darkness of his not-vision, Apollo saw them. Two lovely maidens, both cunning, sharp, deadly, and oh so beautiful. Lakota and Ktulu. Like sirens they beckoned him, each of them, and he was powerless but to be captivated by the two warrior-vixens who he had once called 'sister'. Ktulu the Constrictor. Lakota the Poisoner. They were both everything that he hadn't known he had wanted... And yet, loving them both had come as such a startling revelation that Apollo honestly didn't know how to handle it.

His love for Ktulu had been a sudden, strange thing, and for a long time Apollo had been terrified to delve deeper in an attempt to understand these strange, foreign feelings... But then understanding had dawned upon him beneath a full moon, when he and the Constrictor, his dark mistress, had danced together beneath the moonlight upon the Fields of Heaven. It had been an exciting affair, exotic and pleasurable and so utterly intoxicating that Apollo could scarce breathe... But it had been there that the horned overo understood that he truly loved Ktulu.

His love for Lakota, now... That was also a strange, sudden thing, born of the darkness of his dreams and the alluring sights of the sapphiric beauty. He and Lakota's history was a long one, and few had shown Apollo such loyalty like the Poisoner had. She had aided in saving his life upon the Endless Blue. They had served and fought beside one another within the Grey. She had served him when he had been promoted to Chief of the Foothills, serving loyally and placing her complete faith in him when he had doubted himself... And then, for albeit a short time, they had served beside one another as equals, as Chief and Chieftess. Through the entirety of his Helovia life, Lakota had been just as large a part of it as Ktulu had... And somehow, somewhere along the way, Apollo had fallen in love with Lakota as well.

"I'm... Such an idiot. Zola, I'm so screwed." Gone was the normal, self-assured eloquence that Apollo had developed since his rise to Chief, and it had left behind nothing but a frightened, confused young stallion who knew nothing about love and its ways. "I love them both... I can't tell them. They'll hate me, I know they will."

He had confessed his love for Ktulu... But they hadn't spoken of it since the day it had happened. Did she return his affection? Would Lakota, if he manned up and admitted his love? Immediately a snort burst from the overo's nostrils, disturbing his pillow of spring grass. Honey-brown eyes opened slowly, eyes rolling upwards to stare at the moon in the night sky. Surely not. Lakota and Ktulu were two powerful, amazing individuals... And surely they had no place for him in their midst. They were self-assured, confident, powerful... And Apollo was simply, well... Apollo. Boyish, awkward, and oblivious to the ways of the heart.

"... Damnit..."

Upon his throatlatch, Zola continued to purr, hoping to reassure the stallion in the only way that she knew how.

@[Lakota]

Somewhere in the distance, a little bird opens its beak and sings, orchestrating an entire symphony with chirps and trills. Some may call it cute, others would claim it beautiful. A symbol of spring, of the name; birdsong.

Lakota? She called it annoying as fuck.

The fucking moon was out, what kind of bird was up and about singing his praises? Grumbling to herself as she was pulled out of sleep by the bird that just so happened to be perched in the tree she had been dozing at the base of. Lifting one leg she kicked the trunk irritably, and the bird squawked indignantly and took wing. Lakota glanced around with drowsy, glazed violet eyes. Judging by the lack of a warm neck curled over her withers, Ktulu was off on a patrol, and had slipped away in the night as Lakota had been sleeping. It made her heart swell with love, to know her mate would go to any length to ensure Lakota was guaranteed at least an hour or two of rest rather than being lonely.

Stretching languidly beneath the pale beams that played tricks and shadows through the fluttering leaves, she pressed a tender kiss to her slumbering prince's forehead and set out on a journey of her own. The fresh greenery whistled and sang the softest of lullabies, a warm wind playing over the canvas of her sapphire coat and letting her orange beads clack together gently in her mane and tail. The paleness of her spine was reminiscent of the moon that hung pregnant and beautiful overhead, and as she wandered goalless and complacent through the forest it played tricks of welcoming on her skin, illuminating her colors with every stray thread of light that slipped through the canopy overhead.

A soft, noteless hum gathered in her throat, breaking the tentative silence and filling it with warm music of the night. "Me, I fall in love with you every single day," she sang softly, snippets of disconnected lyrics falling at random from her coal lips. There was no reason to fear judgment, for there was nobody awake. It reminded her of when she and Ktulu had come together one night beneath the moon, when she and Aodaun had been tussling in the snow. It still made her heart skip to remember, brought a smile to her face.

As she curled her body sinuously around one of the trees, her quiet singing shattered into a surprised gasp as she abruptly stopped, a mere few steps from Apollo's body. "Polly?" she squeaked, fear suddenly gripping her at his stillness. She quickly maneuvered around him and dropped gracefully to her knees, inspecting his face with worried violet eyes. From Zola's purring and the soft rise and fall of the Merciful's belly, her fears were unfounded. To be fair, Ktulu and Archibald accused her of always having unfounded fears, her mother-hen worrying something they had grown fondly tolerant of.

"You're going to give me a heart attack one of these days," she laughed softly. Lakota made no motion to stand, merely rocking to a more comfortable part of her side and laying there contently with him, gazing down at him. "It is late, Polly. Is your mind not silent?" It is soft, understanding. Hypocritical of her perhaps considering she was wandering about at the odd hour as well. But she recalled vividly when they'd met in the meadow after he'd disappeared alongside herself, the scar on her spine warming as if reminding her why she'd run away from him and Ktulu so long ago. More importantly, she could remember the tears that had consumed him, the sorrow she had been unable to lift. Could she now? Belatedly she began to lift herself, wondering if she was the right one for this conversation. "Maybe...I should fetch Ktulu?" A bitter part of her stung, remembering her own doubts, her fears that they loved each other more than either of them loved her. But she did so slowly, unsure if he would call her back to his side. If she deserved to be, sure her mere presence would taint the gold of his soul.

@[Apollo]

Lakota

The Poisoner

So lost in wallowing in the puddle that was his own self-ridicule and irrational collections of doubt, fear, and anxiety, Apollo was oblivious to the fact that one of the objects of his undeserving affection was also afflixed with insomnia, and had just joined him during his impromptu session of a childish fit. The Merciful stallion had little notice that they were no longer alone save a sudden feeling of trepidation from Zola before familiar vocals called out his name.

'Polly?' Soft, sweet, worried...

Honey-brown oculars focused on the here-and-now instead of the dark shadows of his own doubtful mind, and lifting his head while being mindful of little Zola, Apollo spotted her in the moonlight. For a long moment he could only stare, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape as he took in the etheral form of Lakota the Poisoner standing above him. The moonlight hitting her body gave her an etheral appearance, and for a long moment the overo was star-struck and unable to speak. It was only when Lakota had shuffled around him in a motherly sort of way, clearly concerned upon finding him laying like a dead-thing in the middle of the forest, that he was capable of finding his voice.

Clearing his throat, Apollo spoke, guilt pooling in his belly. "Sorry, Kota," he said sheepishly, watching as she lowered herself to her knees and settled more comfortably beside him, "I didn't mean to make you worry..." As Lakota grew more comfortable in the soft grasses, Apollo's eyes would flick to the Poisoner, taking in her appearance, her demeanor, and the familiar presence of being near her alone before looking back up at the moon. Oh, how the Gods enjoyed tormenting him. Shifting and mindful of Zola, Apollo moved so that he was sitting up, legs curling and tucking up close to his barrel. Zola huffed indignantly before curling up next to Apollo's belly, glad that it was only Lakota who had come, and not a stranger. There were many strangers, and tonight she didn't want to worry about them. Once more the black kitten began to purr, and Apollo offered his dear ball of earth a warm smile before regarding Lakota completely.

Her inquiry caused him to pause. "Um..." Apollo had never been a liar, and while he had no intention on starting now, fear and humiliation held his tongue. Oh, God. What could he say? "Not really, no... I... My mind is troubled, Kota, with thoughts and ideas I just can't understand." As Lakota began to push herself up, however, and mentioned the possibility of fetching Ktulu with an uncharacteristic bitterness, something came undone within his breast. His gaze turned terribly sad, lips turning downward, and when he spoke next there was a desperation coating his vocals. It was like panic, yet more defined. More pure. More desperate. "No, no... Lakota, no, please stay. Stay here, with me. Please?"

Even though he wanted to see Ktulu again, having both of the objects of his affection there, together, tormenting him, would be terribly cruel. Apollo wasn't sure he could handle it. While he knew how he felt for Ktulu, and in turn she knew how he felt... Lakota had no idea. The horned stag felt that if he let Lakota walk away into the night, right now, and send his dark mistress to him instead... Something terrible would come of it, and more than just his heart would break.

"Please, just... Stay, and lay with me for awhile? We... We rarely speak anymore, Lakota, and I miss you." Lifting his head, Apollo stretched his muzzle up and towards her, his gaze begging and imploring her to stay. He wanted to tell her his feelings, he wanted to touch her and reassure her... But the Gods held his tongue and froze him to his spot. Heaving a breath, Apollo went on in a mere whisper, eyes deep, bottomless pools of desperate, young love and adoration. "I've missed you a lot."

@[Lakota]

Like magnets his eyes come to her, big and brown and too much for her weak heart to ever cope with. Lakota loved too fiercely, too caustically, for him to survive her. She wanted to spare him, to scream at him to run until she was sure he'd never fall into the poison that was so much more than a title, a magical ability. Lakota was poison incarnate, and he was malleable, lovable, unprepared for the damage she could inflict. But his eyes were deep and warm, like the feeling of Ktulu curled around her withers, or her brother's soft accent, her grandmare's words of strength. He was too pure for her, and yet she ached for him to look at her for once. Not Ktulu. Not Phaedra. Just her. But Lakota had grown used to the hollow ring of abandonment, invisibility. She was not like Ktulu, who commanded attention and awe with her very breath. Nor was she like Phaedra, who turned eyes with her wit and beauty. Still, she could not force her body into motion, and when it did it merely collapsed beside him. She was weak, but she would allow herself to be for a few moments more.

Her name rings like silver bells on his tongue, a nickname truly, just as the affectionate name she'd given him in turn over the seasons of knowing him. A wispy smile stretched her coal lips, wishing to settle his sheepish embarrassment, any guilt he could feel for causing her to worry. "It's fine. It's my job to worry," she laughed quietly, trying to keep her emotions buoyant. Their meetings really had to stop starting or ending in tears. Lakota already distrusted her emotions, their recent betrayal of her was not appreciated in the least. So she resolutely did not follow her darker thoughts down their path, if not for herself then for Apollo.

A soft hum of understanding purred in her throat, and she stared out into the distance, watching the shafts of moonlight through the trees. "I understand," was all she said at first, quiet, perhaps even somber. Her mind was a warzone of grief and past memories. Alleo had often been able to sense the pattern of her mind, and would look at her with those sad, sad eyes and say, "Si portano senso di colpa inutili." She'd never bothered to correct him. "If there is ever anything I can do for you, Polly, you know you need only ask." Her sincerity was a beacon to guide him out of dangerous waters, a rope to cling to, as she had intended for it to sound all along. Hoping to break the serious mood a bit, she smiled lopsidedly. "Even if all you desire is something to knock you out," laughter curled like smoke around her words. Her poisons had many qualities. Nobody had asked her for that particular side effect, but it was an amusing notion.

Silence falls around them like dust and dusk and dead dreams, and she revels in all of it, until her bones desire to grow into the earth below and keep her rooted in the present moment forever. She does not allow herself to obey, uprooting herself with the burn of sorrow familiar and cold in her heart. Until he calls her back, begging her to stay. She hesitates, front half still lifted from the soil, before she breaks and allows her thin legs to lower her back down obediently. "Okay. Okay, I'll stay. So long as you want me, Apollo, I will always stay," she whispers at last, the violet of her eyes vibrant in the dark as they seek out his face. She tries to impart the real meaning behind her words on him. Because she had always known that she'd stick by him, run to his call, so long as he needed her.

Lakota wondered why it was she offered that to those she loved, as if she instinctively degraded herself into nothing more than a shield, a sharpened sword, a soldier at their side.

An ache starts in her heart as he claims to miss her. How could he miss her? She'd lived her life as a shadow, the only reason Ktulu had noticed her was because she'd taken up residence in the darkness cast from her own body. Lakota had become Ktulu's shadow. Apollo should never have noticed her, certainly not enough to miss her, but the prospect made her heart pound with uncertainty. "I have missed you as well, Polly," she murmured, ears twitching and falling sideways with embarrassment as she looked away. When she looked back, attempting to judge what he was feeling, she found him reaching out for her. Lakota didn't even think before leaning to embrace him in kind, their muzzles like a velvet kiss as they touched. Her heart pounded in her ears at his whispered utterance, and she curled closer to herself, every part of her screaming shyness. Would he judge her, for that weakness? Or would he, like Ktulu, understand that her spiny exterior was merely a deflective shield? "I am not much to miss," Lakota sputtered softly, not sure how to move forth with the situation.

@[Apollo]

Lakota

The Poisoner

Oh, there was no doubt in his mind that the abilities of Lakota's poisons knew no bounds, and that there were effects that not even his talented mind of medicines and the like knew of. While there were some nights that he would enjoy a side-effect of unconsciousness to soothe his damnable, troubled mind, Apollo knew that tonight was not one of them. Oh, no. Here and now, beneath the light of a bright moon on a warm, beautiful spring night, Apollo was content... Yet nervous.

Gods, terribly nervous.

His pleading words, thank Father Earth, seemed to persuade Lakota to stay, and the Poisoner delicately folded her fine, shapely legs beneath her beautiful bulk and returned to laying next to him. The words that came from her lips caused Apollo to start, and his heart beat madly in his chest as his mind absorbed every sensual syllable.

'I'll stay. So long as you want me, Apollo, I will always stay.'

Unbidden, honey-brown eyes locked upon the beautiful lavender orbs of the Poisoner, the maiden of his affection... Or at least one of them. Everything in his mind was screaming at him to shut up, to keep his stupid mouth shut, to not even attempt to speak or breathe because he was going to mess this up so terribly, damage their relationship so irreversibly... But nothing, no amount of fear, of anxiety, of nervousness or stuttering fears could stop him from speaking. He was entrapped by the look of her, the scent of her, laying there by his side beneath the moonlight...

"Then... Then I fear that you will be staying for quite a long time, Lakota, for I will always want you by my side."

Fool, fool, fool! You foolish idiot! His mind was merciless, damning him for his stuttered, ignorant words. What was he doing?! How could he say such things to her? Lakota was beautiful, smart, cunning, voracious in life and the good in all things... And Apollo was just... Just him. Where she was beautiful, he was plain. Where she was strong and magnificent, he was weak and pitiful. Oh, if only she could know how he thought of her, with such fondness and adoration...

Zola looked up at the stag's face, then to the delicate features of the Poisoner, and she continued to purr. The kitten could feel the inner turmoil of her bond-mate, feel his sickness-like nerves and the way that it made his stomach coil and knot, the reverberations of his heart beating manically against his chest, as though at any second it would launch itself out of his mouth and run away...

Lakota went on, and Apollo listened, his body shivering at the name that only she called him. Polly. Unintentionally it brought a grin to his lips, boyish and heartfelt, and soon they were touching muzzles and the Merciful stallion drank in her scent. He bathed in it, worshiped in it, drowning himself in her familiar smell and touch...

Hold me forever... Don't let me go. Don't let me drown.

Her words, that she was not much to miss, caused him to snort and pull back just enough to truly look at her. What nonsense she was speaking... Lakota had seemed to curl into herself, as though by balling herself up would protect her from something. This... Wasn't how she should be. She was always strong, determined, willful, spirited and fiery and so many other things that even Apollo's palette of words couldn't describe. Almost immediately he shook his head, honey-brown pools dripping with warmth, with adoration and understanding and love. Sucking in a slow, calming breath, Apollo opened his mouth and let his heart speak for him.

"Nonsense," he said aloud, instinctively leaning towards her, muzzle reaching although not to touch, but simply to be close, "You are far more than you know, my beautiful Lakota. You are bright, powerful, and loyal. Tenacious, kind, and just. You are fascinating, exquisite, and... And worldly." Funny that, when away from her, he could think of millions of things to tell her... And now that Lakota was here, before him, not a word would come to mind. "A life without you would be dull, colorless, and loathsome, and I... I have come to realize that my affection for you runs far deeper than that of simply friendship or admiration. I... Lakota, forgive me, but... I... Lakota, I've fallen for you. Deeply."

The Merciful stallion went on, his words beginning to fall and stutter together, now that the truth was out. Why stop? Why hide his emotions when he wanted to lay them so bare before her judgement? Let her see all of him... And accept or condemn him for it. "I am troubled, because... Because of this love. Not because I love you, but because I fear that... That I am not worthy. I fear that I will never be worthy. You are so much more than I am, so great and beautiful and... And I know that I am not worth such attention, such affection from you, Lakota, but I just... I had to tell you. I'm... I'm so sorry."

I had to.

I'm sorry...

Don't hate me.

Don't leave me...

Not like everyone else.

@[Lakota]

ooc: ... Burt, I'm sorry. xD Please still love me. ;-;