the Rift


[JUDGED] Lover Not a Fighter

Artorius Posts: 39
Up For Adoption atk: 7 | def: 9.5 | dam: 3
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 15.2hh :: 5 years HP: 60 | Buff: NOVICE
Barnabas :: Puffin :: None Adoptable
#1
ARTORIUS
your ticket to hell is a comin to you and I gotta a hollow point to give you the ride




Large, white marked wings beat against the warm Tallsun sky as I drew closer to the pale sanded beaches of the Endless Blue. The smile that was normally planted quite firmly on my features had been washed away with the thoughts that riddled my mind, she was pregnant. Here soon I would have a sibling, a half sibling, but a sibling none the less. I had no experience with babies, hell I was even freaking out about the egg that I was carrying very carefully between my dull teeth.
Relief flooded my athletic frame as I began my descent onto the white sands of the beaches where I would be able to make a nest of sorts for the egg to remain while I could think. Grains of sand were thrown everywhere as my wings tucked in neatly to my slender sides and hooves formed craters in the soft terrain on impact, one of these craters would be a perfect resting place for the infant while I got rid of some of the stress being back around my mother was causing.
As happy as I was to see Alysanne again, I still couldn't quite wrap my head around the fact that she had a whole other family here. With Miykael of all options. A sound of irritation and frustration tore from my jaws as I gently lowered the speckled egg into the nest I had made for it. Silky black strands whipped across my hips while my mind drifted back to my mother and her new found lover, if it had to be anyone I was content with the painted stallion she had settled with. He was a good stallion, or at least what I remembered of him, he had always been patient and kind so maybe he was exactly what my mother needed. Shaking my sporty skull roughly I took a few steps away from where the egg was now resting before turning and cantering into the waves where hopefully the water would wash away all of the negativity and leave my usual easy-going self.


"blah blah blah."
Tag | @[Shadow]
Words | 346 / 800
Notes | You may have first attack if you would like, or they may carry on first. sorry it's so terrible, it'll get better when I have more of something to write about
rolling thread
Normal Timeline
No Companions | No Magic
3 Attacks + Closing Defense to the first attacker
Setting: Endless Blue, Noon 80 degrees, clear blue sky
0/3
0/1
Summary | N/A


Image by Dima Viunnyk @ flickr
  • Please Tag in All Replies!
  • Slight Force Allowed, no death or maiming. No serious injuries.

Shadow Posts: 153
Deceased atk: 6.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5
Filly :: Hybrid :: 14.2 :: 8 HP: 63 | Buff: ENDURE
Chan
#2


Walking was painful. Standing still was painful. Breathing was painful too, but just as she couldn't stop her heart from beating the shadow mare could not find it in her to stay still. Between the fatigue accumulated in wings and muscles after the week or so of flying that had brought her across the sea and a ravenous hunger, sleeping had become impossible. Not only that, but her own impatience to set off and find Kari made her rush her own recovery, so that even after days had passed she had yet to regain much strength in the few thin, wiry muscles she still possessed.

Like a shadowed wraith she stalked along the shoreline, eyes focused on land rather than the sighing, swaying seas. Sick and tired of water the mare was far more interested in discovering decent sized patches of grass for her to devour, or maybe the rare spring that sometimes bubbled up from under ground, liquid sweet and refreshing rather than salty. Every other step or so she stopped, reached back and raked across the back, flank or shoulders with annoyed teeth, tugging and itching at the ragged patches of old winter coat that still clung to her frame. Skuggi knew she must look horrible, emaciated and unkempt with mane swaying all the way down to her elbows, no more than a black wad of fur tumbling along the beach. Yet grooming was hardly on the agenda right now, as far from a priority as priorities went.

So occupied was she with her own thoughts and with the search for food that she didn't notice the egg in the sand until her front hoof caught on the shell, sending the orb rolling away before her. She blinked and paused in stride, head tilting as amethyst eyes curiously regarded the thing. It seemed undamaged despite the mistreatment suffered, and for an egg it was oddly big. Intrigue bid her to examine it closer, and so with pricked ears and head lowered the mare padded over, nostrils quivering as she reached out to touch the egg.


@[Artorious] Feel free to attack! ;D

Caught a bird and let it go, had a rope and don't you know
When I pulled it down, it settled on the ground
Caught a bird and in a trap, had a lot to give back
When the sun came by you opened up your eyes
image credits


BronzeHalo.deviantart.com HP: 42
Healed

Artorius Posts: 39
Up For Adoption atk: 7 | def: 9.5 | dam: 3
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 15.2hh :: 5 years HP: 60 | Buff: NOVICE
Barnabas :: Puffin :: None Adoptable
#3
ARTORIUS
your ticket to hell is a comin to you and I gotta a hollow point to give you the ride




Things were going smoothly, all of my stress and worry seemed to be going away with the gentle pull of the easy waves. A gentle sigh slid from my inky velvets and my ears were beginning to fall to the side in a relaxed position as all thoughts worked their way to the back of my mind, back into the filing cabinets where they belonged rather than a big jumbled up mess in the middle of everything. But it seemed the fate's weren't quite ready to release their grip on the handles of the insanity bike. Just as my dark lids were beginning to inch their way down my emerald pools the black blur of a mare disrupted the peace and quiet that I had been so enjoying. A flicker of irritation started to boil my blood that was stained by two different breeds, one meant for speed the other bred for it's endurance, for a second I hoped the mare would just continue on her way and leave me and the speckled egg be so she could continue her run and I could continue enjoying myself.

Of course that wasn't meant to happen, the sound of the black mare's hooves tearing the sand from it's resting place was no longer heard and for a second I panicked, what if she had stolen the speckled egg while I was over here being an irritable asshole? Turning quickly to asses the damage my emerald eyes were met with exactly what I was afraid was going to happen. The scene played out in front of me, nearly in slow motion as panic took over my mind, the dark, scrawny mare's nose was pressed against the smooth surface of the egg that just so happened to be moved from the position I had left it in not even five minutes ago. It seemed my mind wasn't working quite properly as my body leapt into action, salt water drenched legs tearing through the sand, sending clouds of it backwards where it would meet it's demise in the crashing waves while some of them clung to my legs for dear life. Any other day I would have stopped to make sure there wasn't any sand on my legs in fear of the itching that would soon come as the salt water dried in the sun, but today I wasn't worried about my own well being.

I had to protect the egg.

Rage and panic darkened my normally bright and happy emeralds as I surged closer to the mare. White splashed wings slammed outwards in a show of intimidation as I reached the mare, my pace not slowing for a second as I hoped to ram into the scrawny bitch's bony shoulder with all of my weight. Of course I would be more than content with my flesh meeting her's in any location that would get her away from the speckled egg. If I was lucky, my sudden approach would have been enough of a surprise that my weight on her body would knock her off balance or even shove her away from where the unhatched infant rested peacefully in the sand. Maybe I was overreacting, as I finally stopped moving forward and my wings tucked back into my rib cage, but then again, maybe I wasn't as I was the sole protector of that unborn child.

And protect it I would.



"blah blah blah."
Tag | @[Shadow]
Words | 567 / 800
Notes | N/A
rolling thread
Normal Timeline
No Companions | No Magic
3 Attacks + Closing Defense to the first attacker
Setting: Endless Blue, Noon 80 degrees, clear blue sky
1/3
0/1
Summary | Saw Shadow out of the corner of his eyes while he was standing in the water, turns as she kicks then lowers her head to sniff egg at this point he leaps into action and attempts to run right into her shoulder where he will hopefully bruise the wing joint and unbalance her/move her away from the egg.


Image by Dima Viunnyk @ flickr
  • Please Tag in All Replies!
  • Slight Force Allowed, no death or maiming. No serious injuries.

Shadow Posts: 153
Deceased atk: 6.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5
Filly :: Hybrid :: 14.2 :: 8 HP: 63 | Buff: ENDURE
Chan
#4


She heard the splash of water and the muffled drubbing of hooves but didn't register the meaning of the sounds until it was already too late. Sensing the presence of another in the nick of time, Shadow jerked her head up from the smooth surface of the egg only to stagger sideways as something big and hard and thick-headed barreled into her right shoulder, the impact more jolting than painful, more surprising than harmful. Not to mention annoying!

Short, sturdy legs designed to find footing on rock and black volcanic sand splayed wide and sent cascades of sand spraying ever which way while inky wings released from their folds to aid her balance. Shadow dug her hooves deep into the dry, loose sand, clearly displaced - about half a stride back and to the left of her original position - yet somehow still standing up, firm on her feet. Discomfort rattled through her emaciated body, aches and sores from a long flight making themselves reminded. She definitely was not in any shape to battle, and with a sharp "Hey! What the...!" she snapped her eyes onto the assailant, ears all but disappeared within the thick mass of black hair. Who was this merciless fiend who didn't even stop to look before bringing violence upon his kin?

Little more than a colt, the horse was already a full hand taller than herself and considerably more well off. Lean and fit the youth's midnight coat was shiny and even, healthy muscle rippling like elastic cords beneath the skin. Yet for all that she approved of his majestic wings and fierce temperament, there just wasn't anything intelligent in attacking people at random, without neither warning nor cause.

Snorting in angry disdain the diminutive mare shifted her weight back onto the rear, and, mustering what little strength she had left in her skinny body she stepped backwards before thrusting herself into a half rear, flapping the wings as hard as she could after the idiotic boy in the hope that the shifting sands would blind him and deter any further attacks.

"What was that about, why do you attack me? Speak, or I will give you a thorough spanking, boy!"

Her voice was deep, naturally hoarse, fierce like the jagged mountains to the north and furious as the fires burning at the Heart of the world. So what if the pegasus was a shadow of her former self, unlikely to last more than a few minutes if a battle truly was commencing; she was not going to let this milk-drinking, overgrown foal of a stallion tread all over her!


____________________

@[Artorius]

PC: 1/3
WC: 433

Summary: Shadow takes the attack full on in the right shoulder and skids back and to the left from the force, remaining on her feet. Annoyed she backs off a bit further and lifts her front legs off the ground, using the wings to try and blind Artorius with sand.

Caught a bird and let it go, had a rope and don't you know
When I pulled it down, it settled on the ground
Caught a bird and in a trap, had a lot to give back
When the sun came by you opened up your eyes
image credits


BronzeHalo.deviantart.com HP: 42
Healed

Artorius Posts: 39
Up For Adoption atk: 7 | def: 9.5 | dam: 3
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 15.2hh :: 5 years HP: 60 | Buff: NOVICE
Barnabas :: Puffin :: None Adoptable
#5


A slow trickle of satisfaction made its way into the blood of two breeds that ran through my veins, as the sickening thud of flesh meeting flesh echoed through my ear drums. I could already feel a slight bruising forming on my pectoral muscles as I stood solidly in the pale sand while her sickly, thin body was roughly a pace and a half away from where it had been standing too close to the speckled egg I was in charge of. Everything internally screamed at me to look back at the egg and make sure it was all in one piece, the screaming blocking out the harsh words of the stunned, dull black mare whose ears had made their way back into her disgustingly tangled mane. But I fought against the small bond that was already beginning to form, surely the egg was fine or else something small inside me would have already died right?

Rather I focused on the sad state of affairs that stood before me; everything about the mare seemed quite...lackluster. Other than her height we were complete opposites, I was long legged and full of lean muscle and had Shadow not looked as if she had just stepped out of a grave she seemed as if she would be a powerhouse full of muscle and a force to be reckoned with. But not now, now it seemed like a gentle gust of wind could knock the emaciated creature off of her hooves. Was the mare not sick, I probably wouldn't even be able to hold a candle to the creature, but it seemed like fate had a different idea in mind for my first fight. Even if it was over something as minute as smelling the egg. Dark lids flicked quickly over emeralds that were still lit with a panic educed anger while the ink stained mare shifted her weight backwards and her lackluster wings flapped outwards then forwards, a cloud of sand smacking against me just as lids peeled back to reveal the delicate gems once again.

A squeal of anger and pain tore from midnight hued lips while glossy ears slammed back to their original resting spot planted against silky strands and glossy hair along the curve of my neck, the mare's warning all but lost on my enraged mind. All I could think about was the speckled egg and the sick, dull mare who was clearly trying to take it from me, my mother had left me. There was no way I was allowing this egg to be taken from me! Panic, rage, and a million other jumbled up emotions flashed like fire in my mind as white dipped wings tucked in close to my slender flanks and solid black limbs struck forwards, sending grains of the pale sand through the crystal blue sky. Virgin, barely stained teeth bared as I hoped to finally christen them with the crimson blood of the egg thief. If that failed, maybe I would be lucky enough to further the bruising on my pectorals, or feel the jarring halt that would be caused by my hooves meeting her flesh. Anything that meant the ill mare was nowhere near the unhatched infant would be more than enough for me.

"Talk talk talk."



OOC
Words | 544 / 800 <- wordcounter.net
Notes | Sorry I took so long, work and life got in the way!
rolling thread
Normal Timeline
No Companions | No Magic
3 Attacks + Closing Defense to the first attacker
Setting: Endless Blue, Noon 80 degrees, clear blue sky
2/3
0/1
Summary | Momentarily blinded by how watery his eyes were due to the sand being thrown at him by Shadow. Ignored her question because his mind was so set on protecting the unborn child, leapt forward blindly in hopes to bite or ram his body/hooves into her once again.
Injuries | Momentarily blinded by sand. Chest is slightly bruised after impact with Shadow's body.
TAG
@[Shadow]
Image Credits
- table by Niki -
  • Please Tag in All Replies!
  • Slight Force Allowed, no death or maiming. No serious injuries.

Shadow Posts: 153
Deceased atk: 6.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5
Filly :: Hybrid :: 14.2 :: 8 HP: 63 | Buff: ENDURE
Chan
#6


To be fair Shadow was not a fighter. Not in the sense where individuals swore themselves to a cause and spent their day training, sparring and honing muscle for the clash of flesh and bone in the ancient dance that once had toppled a kingdom. Her battles had always been of a different kind. The victories celebrated during her stay in the Dragon's Troat? A result of luck and persistence rather than true skill or intent.

In her weakened, ravaged state, was it then strange to think that even the natural instincts would have become dulled, blunted from a lack of use? Or that, in her emaciated frame, the perception of her own abilities far exceeded reality?

It was not an excuse the proud black mare would ever settle for, of course. The prickling needles of guilt and regret she felt at the young stallions squeals of pain at the sand in his eyes was brusquely shoved aside in favor of a faint, distant glimmer of pride. She honed the feeling, cultivated it with the tender care of a gardener towards his favorite flower, because a fighter ought to be content whenever a scheme ended up bearing fruit, right? That she felt no true desire to actually harm this brash, senseless youth was completely irrelevant. Reasonable or not, fair or not; the Blackbird had been attacked and she would defend herself to her last breath if she had to.

It didn't matter either that this idiot was young - wasn't he almost the same age as Kari? It was so hard to judge once they grew to a certain point, and she had missed out on so much of his life - or that she would be more likely to make it out of this uninjured if she turned tail and ran. What mare would flee before as minor a threat as this when she had battled monsters for the sake of her child? What mother would be able to face their son if she lost a scuffle against someone their own age?

It was all a matter of respect, of dignity. Pride was all that mattered, when nothing else remained to fight for.

Raven wings beat in pace with her raging heart to keep her balanced where she stood poised on scrawny hind legs, reluctant to return back to the ground. Perhaps some other attack would have followed if Shadow had been better prepared, more experienced as a fighter, but as it were she didn't have time. Again the colt surprised her, this time with the audacity to attack despite being blinded by stinging grains lodged in the eyes. A squeal of indignation accompanied the whoosh of wind as the mare was forced out of the way of yet another headlong charge, her body gracelessly thrust to the right. It was difficult moving in the loose sand, the shifting ground made every step taxing and draining to someone whose stamina was already low. While on a normal day the thrust (half-leap, rabbit hop or whatever the half-hearted motion could be called) would have been sufficient to bring her out of reach, today it was barely enough to carry her away from the freight-train of brawn without brain headed her way.

Barely, and nowhere near far enough to save her from the snapping, blunt teeth. They clamped down on the soft, loose skin at the base of her left wing, the pain of it a bright, pinching sensation that brought tears of shock and discomfort to her eyes. It was not a blinding pain, not unbearable - she could bear it, would stand there all week if she wanted to - but it mounted and mounted until the aging ladybird in her fury would tolerate it no more.

With an angry squeal Shadow squirmed to rip herself free of the teeth and bucked, hoping that the jerky motion would rattle the stallions brain even if he did manage to hang on. Slapping the wings to distract her assailant, the shadow-mare simultaneously brought her own head forth in retaliation, avenging teeth snaking in to bite the lower part of his wind-pipe where midnight neck merged with the inked chest, or at least the thinly muscled point of the chest where even blunt weapons could deal plenty of pain. It would serve him well, for hurting her! And there, let him savor the sensation of her cracked, dry hoof scraping down the place where his left front shin should be too, just for good measure!

No, Shadow did not wish to harm her opponent, but she wasn't about to let him do as he pleased with either. She would fight, tooth by tooth, taking an eye for an eye - and then may the world be left blind if it came to that!

_________________________

WC: 796
PC: 2/3

Summary: Remains in the rear, wings flapping. Is taken by surprise at his reckless attack and leap to the right, avoiding the tackle. Take the bite to the shoulder, just at the wing joint.

Attempts to rip herself loose, bucks to rattle his brain if he hangs on. Tries to distract him with her wings while aiming a bite to the base of the throat or tip of the left shoulder tip, then tries to rake her hoof down his left front shin for good measure.

@[Artorius]

Caught a bird and let it go, had a rope and don't you know
When I pulled it down, it settled on the ground
Caught a bird and in a trap, had a lot to give back
When the sun came by you opened up your eyes
image credits


BronzeHalo.deviantart.com HP: 42
Healed

Artorius Posts: 39
Up For Adoption atk: 7 | def: 9.5 | dam: 3
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 15.2hh :: 5 years HP: 60 | Buff: NOVICE
Barnabas :: Puffin :: None Adoptable
#7
A
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S

Later when asked to reflect on this seemingly pointless fight (even though it was my first...it was still quite silly in retrospect) I would probably forget about how excited I was to inflict pain on someone who had threatened something so near to me. Rather I would swell with pride over the fact that I protected the speckled egg that had chosen me over all of the other possible suitors in Helovia. Me. Not my mother, not Miykael, not any of the other pegasi, unicorns, or equines that it could have chosen to spend the rest of its life with. I would boast on being strong enough to shove the mare out of the way and make sure the unhatched infant was safe and sound inside of its protective shell.
It was protecting the child that kept me moving, forced all thoughts of reason out of my normally much more realistically thinking mind. It was the fact that I was protecting a life that urged me onwards to latch onto the malnourished looking mare's wing in hopes that it would keep her even further away from my charge. The muscles in my throat clenched and released and for a moment I thought I would be the first horse in the history of the universe to throw up when the soft, dusty feathers of Shadow's wings soaked up all the moisture from my mouth, leaving it nearly as dry as the sands of the southerner most lands. Glossy ears flicked back against my silky tresses, that were so unlike the knotted dreads that hung from the mare's spinal cord, in hopes that the mare's yellowed teeth wouldn't find purchase on my very needed appendages.
Before any other thoughts could flash through my infuriated mind, the world around me seemed to be moved into warp speed while the feathers in my jaws were snapped around in the mare's scramble to remove me from her body. For a moment I contemplated hanging on for dear life but a throbbing in my temples begged me to release before any serious damage was done to my grey matter. The momentum of the mare's motion forced me to take a stumbling step back and away from her while my head swam around like some kind of tropical fish. A snort blasted through my midnight stained paper thins as dark lids slammed over unfocused emeralds just as the dull Shadow moved in like the snake she was. A squeal of shock and pain raced out from between slightly parted kissers as the mare's worn ivories sank into the tender flesh where my chest met my neck. Without thinking twice I forced all of my weight backwards as the front part of my body lifted into a half-rear, my hooves tucked in close in hopes that my knees would meet with the mare's chin or any other part of her body. As I felt my flesh tear away from the layer of muscle a flash of red hot anger passed through my slender frame once again forcing my sporty skull forward. Slightly yellowed ivories parted as they aimed for any part of her body they could find purchase on in my way back to the solid, yet sandy ground beneath us.
"Shit..." I muttered between clenched teeth, the pain of my bruised and now bleeding chest finally coming forth as my anger slowly began to fade. Surely we had caused each other enough damage now, right? This foolishness could be over and I could collect my charge then head back to the shattered glass wall in which I belonged so this sickly creature could carry on and stick her nose where it didn't belong again.



"Speech."
Tag;; @[Shadow]
Words | 618 / 800 <- microsoft word
Notes | Sorry I took so long!
rolling thread
Normal Timeline
No Companions | No Magic
3 Attacks + Closing Defense to the first attacker
Setting: Endless Blue, Noon 80 degrees, clear blue sky
3/3
0/1
Summary | Stunned momentarily by the shaking of the mare's wings, stumbles away from her wings but isn't focused enough to avoid Shadow's bite. Her attempted leg attack was avoided by his attempt to rear up and knee her in the chin/chest depending on if her head is still lowered while reaching out to bite at wherever he can reach.
Injuries | Momentarily blinded by sand. Can now see, mild irritation in the eyes. Chest is slightly bruised after impact with Shadow's body. Momentarily stunned by her harsh wing shaking, a portion of skin about half an inch wide is torn away as he rears up, begins to bleed automatically and fairly heavy considering the sensitivity of the section that had been bitten.

Image Credit
  • Please Tag in All Replies!
  • Slight Force Allowed, no death or maiming. No serious injuries.

Shadow Posts: 153
Deceased atk: 6.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5
Filly :: Hybrid :: 14.2 :: 8 HP: 63 | Buff: ENDURE
Chan
#8


Blood pool into her mouth as a strip of skin come away beneath her teeth, and immediately the mare relinquished her hold as nausea surged up inside. The taste is foul, like metal and salt and death and no matter how she spit and snort and thrash her head about she cannot rid herself of it. It as is though the crimson has fused with her tongue, soaked into her very teeth and branded her destroyer, abuser, bully of the year. Her fist impulse is to turn tail and run from the scene of her crime, leave the memory behind so she can ignore it, push it to the farthest recess of her mind and pretend it never happened, that she never did this, never injured someone so young (albeit still horribly thick-headed and foolish). She barely even reflected over the lack of impact as her hooves scraped through empty space, felt no dismay nor sadness that additional attempts to injure and maim had become thwarted.

Even as she twisted to the left in her descent, intent to turn her back on the opponent and hightail out of there, Shadow came to a realization that was as crisp and clear as it was sudden. She hated fighting. It wasn't only because of the pain that wracked her body from tackles, bites and excessive strain on a body that by rights should be confined to a green meadow for some R&R, not just for the fear and guilt and rage tinted in madness that loomed on the horizon of her mind-scape. It was also completely and utterly pointless.

She felt all the fight, the energy and will drain from her carcass of a body in the span of a breath. The black mare blinked, took her eyes off the enemy for a fraction of a second as she prepared for the impact of her body against the ground.

But just as cracked, dry hooves made contact with the shifting sands her chin met with the rising knees of the black colt. Light exploded behind closed eyelids as knee smacked into jaw that snapped up against blunt ivories, snapping her entire head up and back with a nasty crack. Something twisted in the muscles of her neck and sent a jolt of stabbing pain down the spine that made her wince, and just as she thought it was over she felt something hot and hard and rough scrape over her turned cheek, a gust of air spilling over dusty black fur as teeth clamped down on her face.

That was the final straw.

"ENOUGH!"

With all the strength she had left the mare threw herself backwards and felt how skin and hair parted with her frame as she tore herself out of the haphazard grip. With a snap the black wings unfurled, and though her ribs ached and her wing joint pounded and the head swam with pain and dizziness Shadow brought herself about, bucked violently with hooves aiming for his chest to keep him from following, and then broke into a swift lope. Her wings beat frantically until enough lift had been created that they might carry her into the sky, into relative safety.

What a farce. What a complete and utter waste of time and energy. Nothing had been accomplished here, nothing settled. Who cared about winners and losers when pain throbbed and the chest ached with confusion?

Not her, at least.

_______________________________________________________________

WC: 572
PC: 3/3

Summary: Shadow take his knees full on to her chin, rattling her head and pulling a muscle in the neck. She take his bite to her right cheek. In tearing herself loose she draw a bit of blood, turns around and buck against his chest, then takes to the sky to leave the fight.

So sorry for the long wait, I actually forgot about this for a while! Thank you for the spar, it was really fun! ^^

Caught a bird and let it go, had a rope and don't you know
When I pulled it down, it settled on the ground
Caught a bird and in a trap, had a lot to give back
When the sun came by you opened up your eyes
image credits


BronzeHalo.deviantart.com HP: 42
Healed

Artorius Posts: 39
Up For Adoption atk: 7 | def: 9.5 | dam: 3
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 15.2hh :: 5 years HP: 60 | Buff: NOVICE
Barnabas :: Puffin :: None Adoptable
#9
A
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Pain pulsated through my chest and shoulders as my hooves tucked in close to my barrel in order to create a nice shelf of knobby kneecaps for the mare's chin to catch on as she moved away from slicing open my chest with her yellow stained teeth. This fight couldn't go on much longer or else I would fall apart for sure, the bruises on my chest beginning to tighten up as the muscles screamed with each move, only growing louder as my neck snaked forward to latch teeth onto the mare's dull body. The incision at the base of my neck seared as the end split with my quick motion, blood beaded along the torn edges before falling over to darken my glossy pelt.
But all of the pain was repaid in two simple moves made by the dusty looking mare's eyelids were forced to meet by the impact caused from her mandible meeting my knees. My own bright emeralds widened to the size of dinner plates from the shocking pain that traveled up my legs to my already bruised and throbbing pectorals, note to self - never knee someone in the face. It fucking hurts. And blood. Blood is not a pleasant taste, which was learned as my bared teeth sank into the tight flesh spread across the mare's cheekbones. The red liquid seeped between my teeth onto my taste buds where it clung like a small child to it's father's legs. Bile rose in my throat as Shadow yelled, "ENOUGH!" and pulled harshly away, leaving hairs and a small piece of skin between my teeth, wishing our species could throw up I spat the skin and hair onto the white grains of sand beneath us, which quickly turned a pink shade from the blood mixed in with my saliva.
A strong gust of wind brought my attention up from the now pink sand as my frailer opponent took to the sky, her hind limbs were thrown in my direction once again for good measure and they missed their mark by just a few centimeters before the wind carried her away from our battlefield. Glossy harks slammed back against my sweat soaked skull as I watched the dark frame continue until she became simply a speck in the sky, finally content that she wasn't going to whip around and surprise me from the back I allowed myself to turn away. Pectorals screamed in pain as I limped over towards the speckled egg I had just finished fighting to protect. "You better be worth it." The words were muttered into the salty air before I gingerly picked up the parcel and headed slowly back towards the shattered walls of the Edge.


"Speech."
Tag;; @[Shadow]
Words | 453 / 800 <- microsoft word
Notes | This was a lot of fun! Thank you!! <3
rolling thread
Normal Timeline
No Companions | No Magic
3 Attacks + Closing Defense to the first attacker
Setting: Endless Blue, Noon 80 degrees, clear blue sky
3/3
1/1
Summary | Stunned momentarily by the shaking of the mare's wings, stumbles away from her wings but isn't focused enough to avoid Shadow's bite. Her attempted leg attack was avoided by his attempt to rear up and knee her in the chin/chest depending on if her head is still lowered while reaching out to bite at wherever he can reach.
Injuries | Momentarily blinded by sand. Can now see, mild irritation in the eyes. Chest is slightly bruised after impact with Shadow's body. Momentarily stunned by her harsh wing shaking, a portion of skin about half an inch wide is torn away as he rears up, begins to bleed automatically and fairly heavy considering the sensitivity of the section that had been bitten (where the neck meets chest on his left side). Bruised knees from slamming into Shadow's jaw and the cut on his neck is widened from all of his moving around.

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  • Slight Force Allowed, no death or maiming. No serious injuries.

Official Posts: 847
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Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#10

By my verdict: SHADOW is the winner!

ARTORIUS
Realism [+3]
- Great way to bring in pain from your own attack! That was refreshing to read.
- Good job comparing body types, but don't be afraid to get more specific! You have the word-space to add more details to make the fight more visceral.
- I had never considered dry-mouth from feathers, but that is so true! This was excellent.
- In your third post, I think that you realistically took damage, but you had enough words to work in the environment more!


Emotion [+1.5]
- You gave a great reason for this fight! It makes sense that a character would be almost irrationally protective over the egg, and you backed that up with his history.
- This wasn't really an "emotional" fight so to speak, so that is reflected in the score.


Prose [+0.5]
- "But I fought against the small bond that was already beginning to form, surely the egg was fine or else something small inside me would have already died right?"
---> "the egg was fine..." is an independent clause, so you can either say: "beginning to form, but surely the egg..." OR "... beginning to form. Surely..." You need either a conjunction or to separate the sentence.

Same thing here: "from me, my mother had left me. There was no way I was allowing this egg to be taken from me! ". The phrase "my mother left me" is independent, so it should be its own sentence.

- Your third post was a little scattered. What he was doing and where he was located throughout wasn't always clear.

- A good rule of thumb since I've seen this issue a few times in your posts is that if you have a subject and a verb, use a conjunction or make a new sentence! (You can also use a semi-colon if the two sentences are inseparable).


Readability [+1]
- Your second table was very hard to read. The text was so tiny!
- Spacing your paragraphs really helps readability!
- Posts felt rushed, disorganized and a bit hard to follow at times


Finally tally: 42.5 + 6*2 = 54.5 HP


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SHADOW
Realism [+2.5]
- Artorius rolled a 4 in his first hit, and that's slightly above a moderate score! I would imagine that this would leave at least a bit of a bruise or some damage. A 1 or a 2 would be more of a hit without much consequence.
- Great job mentioning body types and how Shadow's state of health kept her from being able to properly dodge; this was an excellent way to reason the damage she took.
- You also did a much better job of taking reasonable damage here for another 4.
- On that note, I would like to see more of how the damage affected her physically - were feather's ripped out? Blood? Bruised muscle?
- I would have liked to see more of the prior injuries carry through and compound, particularly in your third post.


Emotion [+1.5]
- Shadow's indignant attitude is spectacular!
- This wasn't really an "emotional" fight so to speak, so that is reflected in the score.


Prose [+3]
"What was that about, why do you attack me?" ---> "What was that about? Why do you attack me?"
- A few comma issues scattered throughout your second post!
- " stallions brain " --> "Stallion's brain"
- "Blood pool" ---> "Blood pooled"
- Though you had a few issues here and there, your posts were very well written


Readability [+2]
- Your table was very hard to read ;-; I had to highlight all of the text in order to understand the middle part and the dialogue.
- Despite the table, all of your posts had logical flow, excellent transitions and this made them very easy to follow


Finally tally: 37.5 + 9*2 = 55.5 HP


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