Flying home after the mass of tasks and painful hours drifting helplessly during the flood, I want nothing more than to lay myself down beside Aurelia and sleep. It was nice finally being able to open my wings and fly after being cooped up for hours, and even then I had walked every step of every task beside Phantom. It's not that I didn't like that or anything, I enjoyed the company, it's just that I hated being unable to fly. Sure I could have gone off and flown wherever, it's just it didn't seem fair to Phantom. She was nothing but kind to me, and so I thought it would be best to show her kindness back. After parting ways, I took to the skies with excitement coursing through my veins.

Soaring far above everything, I felt the gentle push of Yseult's mind, her weak nudge enough for me to know she too was having fun as a little squeal of delight escaped her dark beak, little wings curled up at her sides as she huddled under a mass of my mane, wedged between my wings as they flapped to bring us towards the Throat. Landing gracefully, I found that the sand beneath my crimson hooves was wet, a frown falling to my lips as I look at it in anguish. The sparks my hooves normally create were much smaller, giving a sad appearance as I walked across the land, nearing the oasis.

Glancing around, desperately searching for the familiar form of Aurelia, I decide to lay down until she arrives. I cautiously lower myself, body plopping to the ground ungracefully. Yseult side shuffles up my neck, nestling between my ears and remaining there. I await Aurelia, running over what we needed to talk about. We had to discuss my quest, and that the first half of it was completed. I had found a friend, and over time let her in. Phantom, the mare I'd only a day with, but it felt like weeks. A smile grew as I remembered her lashing out towards the father and daughter duo that thought it would be funny to mess with us. I hope they won't do so ever again or the fat ass of that father will be charred and the daughter will be shown how fun it is to have magic used right up in your face. A soft snort escapes me, looking out at the expanse of sky. It was darker now, the moon rising above the Throat, my eyes flicking fearfully back to the sands. Ever since Gaucho announced that the Moon Goddess had been the murderer, I felt sick beneath the light of the moon. Was she watching me now? I swallow the fear, praying upon the Sun and Earth Gods that she wasn't, too intent on her successful homicides to care.
"Talking"

It takes me a time before I feel the soft caress of someone's lips against my withers, eyes fluttering open in surprise as I shift my position to look at whomever was standing over me. A smile of relief and joy snake across my features, reaching forward towards the familiar white woman who I'd grown to adore so much. She was my everything, a beautiful being of which held my heart in the palms of her hands. She was precious to me, an angel descended from the heavens, sent to personally restore the bitterness that had begun to grasp my bruised heart. I reach to kiss at her cheek, to move my lips to rest at the point above her eye and take her scent in once again. Just as sweet as she, of sandy dunes and salt, the faint scent of smoke and myself mixed within.

"Aurelia," I murmur her name softly, singing the syllables with my heart fluttering excitedly, stomach prancing joyfully. "Our family will be here soon, don't worry my love." I would tell her all about Phantom and our frantic day of racing through Helovia to gather whatever we could to aid in the construction of the boat. "Where were you, I was so scared." I pull away, meeting her milky eyes with dark brows narrowed, concern laced within my words. Had she made it safely onto the boat? Where had she been while we had been adrift? Had she also found a partner to perform tasks with? All these questions bubbled and brewed, a melting pot for worry forming within my mind. I pray that she had been safe and graced with the company of a friend or a kind soul who could care for her along the journey.

I do not bother standing, still fatigued despite the hours of sleep I had gathered up during our day on the boat. I had lain awake for a while, listening to Phantom's slow inhales and sleepy exhales, watching Yseult preen herself upon the alabaster's withers, mind buzzing happily.

Eyeing the faint glowing that washes over the red dirt, my eyes find the dark colt who had been at the beach the day I received Yseult. It hadn't been long since that had happened, about two months or so? I shift my wings to peer at the child as he stands, blue eyes glued to Aurelia and I as we find solace within one another beneath the watch of the moon. I offer a smile to the boy, beckoning him over with my head. Where were his parents? Why was he just watching us? I raise my brow slightly, opening my lips to voice my curiosity. "Where are your parents? Why are you not resting?" I ask, voicing my concern for the child. Did he have parents? Shit, I guess I didn't think much about that before I spoke. What if he doesn't, what if they died tragically in an accident? Or were murdered? What if they abandoned him somewhere? A frown follows my thoughts, wondering what he was doing wandering so late in the evening. My ears swivel forward as I watch the boy, not remembering if I had ever heard his name, and if I had, what it was. I'd only ever seen him on occasion wandering the Throat and sometimes even outside of the Throat, but I'd never directly interacted with him.
"Talking"

I feel the subtle nibbling of Aurelia's pale lips against my body, tracing out every dip and scar, every speckle of red that runs across my body. My mind is slowing, growing sluggish as I melt beneath her soft touch. She is my muse, this woman here beside me. She is the dawn of a new age, my beacon of hope. She is a reminder to me that even in the darkest of times I will find light, and share my life forever with someone so beautifully broken. I will try to mend her, to sew together her fractured being, to make her whole again.

I smile, a delicate chuckle rolling from my dark lips as I kiss above her pearl white eyes, listening to her words closely. She whispers those three words that catch me, my thoughts stopping as I realize what words have just stumbled from her mouth. "Oh, Aurelia. You are my everything, you are my world, my life, my muse. I am nothing without you, I am lost." I'm spewing passion and love, my features filled with delight as I speak to her, almost crying at her words and my own. "I will always love you, even in death and after." I press my muzzle towards hers, closing my eyes and wishing to remain like that forever, as the world melts away around us. As the sound of crashing waves upon the beach becomes nothing more than white noise, fuzz within the back of my head. The only thing I hear is my heart beat and the blood coursing through my ears, and Aurelia's gentle exhales.

My eyes finally open at the approach of Rhoa, questions rising from my lips as I wonder why the boy wandered alone so late in the night. He responds that he didn't feel like sleeping, and I nod gently in understanding. I've had many a sleepless night, especially after— yeah. He tells me we do not belong if we do not know who his parents are, my ears flicking back at that. I want to apologize for failing to socialize because it makes me into a mess of cluttered thoughts and words, but I can't bring myself to. Instead I lay there, trying not to show the look of anguish written across my features.

He introduces himself as Rhoa, son of Gaucho the Wildfire and Sohalia the Transcended. My ears perk up, recognizing the name of our sultan, but not of his mistress. Whomever Sohalia was, Rhoa seemed not to know where she is. My heart sinks for this boy as I realize Gaucho probably wasn't often present in his life because his duties as sultan likely took up most of his time, but it was just a guess, seeing as how I hadn't actually known Gaucho had children to begin with. I understood the pain of having absent parents, I suffered through it for most of my life. A gentle nod of understanding is offered towards the boy as he stops mid sentence. "So your parents must not be around much?" I ask, praying I wasn't sounding intrusive or anything. I wanted to ask and see if I could direct our conversation towards his absent parents, feeling selfish and guilty for trying to manipulate our conversation for my quest.
"Talking"

Aurelia remains quiet, a bitter expression crossing her face. A horned brow rises, curious as to why such an expression was worn, especially around Rhoa, who seemed unhappy about talking about his negligent absent parents. He tells us his father was busy keeping the herd safe, that he didn't need his father's protection. I raise a brow to the boy, wanting to know if that was the truth, if he really didn't need Gaucho's watch, or if it was just an act.

In an attempt to lighten the sudden heaviness that had sunken onto our winged shoulders, I smile at the mention of the Academy. "Really? I didn't know about that, it sounds really interesting." My artificial smile crawls across my face, praying it's convincing enough, and that Rhoa was a master of disguise and could tell easily that I was just trying to find something to enlighten our downing conversation. I felt that my sad efforts to do so were crushed as soon as Rhoa tried to name who he had since his father and mother were gone, his words trailing off and a frown slipping over my lips. I looked up at the boy, an expression of sympathy and understanding offered out to him, a hypothetical outstretch of a helping hand, a wish to aid the boy.

"It's okay, Rhoa. I've been in a similar situation. I understand how awful it is to be the lone wolf, to not have anyone." Recollection of my sorrowful past brings a pitiful smile to my lips as inside I begin to break down, my kingdom crumbling, remnants crashing into the sea and sinking to the dark depths. My heart sinks with it, eyes dulling as I recall the pain of realizing I was alone in the world, forced to fend for myself because no one else was there to protect me. "That's how my life was until a few seasons ago," my head turns to Aurelia, a wing adjusting to push my body so that I may get a better view of my pale angel. I remain that way for a moment, admiring the way her alabaster bodice glowed beneath the silver light of the moon, washing over her bodice and accenting the golden dapples beautifully. Returning my gaze to the grey child, I offer a smile to the boy. I was able to shove away the guilt of using the boy for my quest, but not for long. I could feel the guilt and it's gnarled talons, reaching out from the depths of my being to claw at my mind until I was crying and begging for it to let go. It would taunt me, tell me I was awful and selfish for using a child like this. Somehow though, I knew I could pull through.
"Talking"

He bites his lip as Aurelia speaks, his words then spilling out, revealing youth, vulnerability, trembling and quaking as he talks. I look back at Aurelia, a frown growing upon my lips as his words spill out quickly, overflowing as he stands before us. Returning my gaze to the dun child, I begin to rise from the sandy earth, shaking my body free of debris. I step forward in silence, looking at the child with solemn eyes. My mood has shifted as I listen to him, knowing his suffering. I had felt similar ways, being abandoned by my family so abruptly, replaced. I take another step closer, reaching myself towards the boy to give him a gentle hug, to hold his body as I reach my wings forward to brace the hug if he chose to accept. I expected him not to want the hug, especially from someone he's only just spoken with. I begin talking, my eyes shut as I remain standing before Rhoa. "Maybe you don't want to listen to me— or Aurelia. But she has a point- communication is essential. I didn't communicate with anyone until I was your age, it gets lonely, not having anyone to talk to-" My spine grows cold, a shiver clawing its way up my back as I talk. "And no, I do not believe we are special. We are simply ordinary individuals, clinging to the thought that our love will last. But I know it won't, there are always things in the way. Betrayal— death— disagreement— lies— anything could happen. I cherish the bond while it exists, even if it means that when something does happen, I'm going to fall apart." My smile is pathetic as I try to swallow the pain of accepting the fact that Aurelia and I will not last. Things will tear us apart, break our bones and destroy what we both hold dear.

"Romantic love is not the only form of love, Rhoa. I learned that very recently. And saying "I love you," is not the only way to prove your love." My voice is calm despite the pain knotting up inside of me, the awful, wretched pain that grips at my stomach, clawing and gripping at it from the inside out. The point in which I pulled my own feather to offer to Phantom gently throbs. My knees are trembling, my head growing lighter as I struggle to continue talking. "It won't last." I whisper, inhaling deeply as I listen to Rhoa's words. My heart shatters and I chomp onto my lower lip, squeezing as I choke back the overflowing emotions that bubble and brew within my body. A weak laugh falls from my lips as I feel a dark cloud loom over my head, light from the boy's ember wings washing over my face. "My family forgot about me, they replaced me. It hurt— it still hurts— It's okay to break down sometimes, you just have to get right back up and fight when it's over no matter how hard it is." I look at the turquoise eyes of the child, wondering what feelings lie deep beneath, what twisted turns and haunting nightmares are imprinted on the inside of his lids. What sinister demons lurked in his mind? Self hate? Pity? Hatred? Dependency? What fears laid beneath that ivory barrier of his? I look to the sky, a small smirk upon my lips. "Growing up alone is not okay. But it happens. No one can stop it, it is just something that occurs. Trying to stop it would be like trying to stop a flood from washing out everything in its path, impossible." He says he wants to live, to be strong enough to not just survive. My face hardens, seriousness flooding into my face as I close my eyes, brows narrowing. "Then live. Nothing is holding you back but yourself. Live, stop chaining yourself down! Fight for yourself! If you believe that you don't need them, then prove it. If you need them, then make sure they know. Do not let your self pity cloud your mind, do not let it push you away from living your life to the fullest!" My voice has raised, eyes opening, piercing sharp and determined. Something inside snaps, clicks, whirs. Gears grinding together and creaking as they rotate, my insides working overdrive as something within falls into place. My body tenses, eyes shifting to the child. Everything within me is a blur, a mess, a mixture of emotions, shifting and revolving. My eyes close as I breathe in, outlining the engravings on the insides of my lids as my coloured wonderland takes hold.
"Talking"

"No, that- that's not what I meant!" Panic. Panic. Panic. Breathe. Wait. Shit. "I do think we're going to last! I'm just- in the bigger picture— one of us will die first." I murmur, struggling to swallow. Fuck my wording choices were awful. "That's- that's not what I meant to say. I just mean, that- I'm a pessimist. I don't see the brighter side of things. Please, forgive me Aur, I-I'm so sorry." My eyes widen, my thoughts coming to a screaming halt as I try to handle all of this at once. "Please Aur, I'm just- I'm so certain we'll last just please, listen to me. I-" I don't continue because she begins telling me of her children, children named Ryuu and Faeanne. I listen to her talk, my eyes remaining on her, my love for her unwavering as her story unfolds before me. I wanted to help her through this, to tell her it will all be okay, that we'll make things right. A weak smile crawls across my face as I step forward, struggling to speak. "Aur..." My voice cuts out, suddenly stolen by an unfelt wind, carried away along with everything I'd ever loved. I didn't mean for this to happen, I didn't want it to happen.

My heart drops to the floor, my already poorly stitched and taped together heart, my weak, beating little heart— it shatters. It slams against the ground and is left spinning in all directions, shards beneath my feet as I'm left standing watching Aurelia turn away, my lip trembling and throat knotting. I wanted to call for her, to beg her not to go, that I'm such a fuck up and that isn't what I meant. The tears start flowing, staining my cheeks as I take a small step forward towards Aurelia. Please why can't I move? I can feel the thoughts piling up onto my shoulders, crushing me beneath the weight of my panic and anguish.

I turn to Rhoa, my face lacking any emotion aside from the streams of tears dribbling down my cheeks. "No, of course not. I'm not going to let her or our future child slip from my grasp. That'd make me stupid and pathetic. I'm not- I'm not stupid. I'm— I'm not pathetic am I?" I look towards Rhoa with a sick grin, gnarled and sad as I ask him, my grip on sanity slipping as I feel my feet grow heavier, my stomach sinking. "Someone can stop it- and- I have to stop it—" I mumble, body shaking as I look at my red hooves with bitter despair. "I have to try- but I'm weak. I'm pathetic. I'm stupid— oh so stupid." A terrible, sickening chuckle slides from between my lips as the realization that I may have just lost Aurelia settles in.

Fuck fuck FUCK.

And suddenly, panic. I am watching everything collapse before me, my lungs shrinking, forcing me to painfully inhale and hold my breath. Sweat beads on my neck, my body is shaking uncontrollably. I don't know what to do. What do I do. Aurelia, oh fuck Aurelia where are you going? I try to call after her but my voice fails me, my eyes wide and body stiff, knees buckling as I collapse into the red sand. The air in my lungs is being torn out forcefully, my throat burning as tears run down my face. I shut down, my wings flopping uselessly against my sides as panic courses through my veins. I can feel my body heaving, my world crumbling. Everything I held dear, destroyed. I gasp and choke, screaming on the exhale. I remain that way for several minutes, forgetting that Rhoa was even there. I can't move, I'm too weak, instead I just let myself get carried away into the folds of insanity, tucked away and trapped within the confines of my mind. I can't handle this. I can't. I struggle to breathe, trying to calm myself as I lay on the sand.

"I'm sorry, you don't deserve this— but I do, I'm such an asshole." I mumble, exhaling as I close my eyes and remain that way, forgetting about everything for a time as it all comes tumbling down to crush me beneath the weight of my worries.

I don't get up for a while, and when I do my mind is focused only on Aurelia, my wings spreading open as I race forward to get air, rising and heading in the direction she had gone.
"Talking"