the Rift


[JUDGED] Chasing starlight to find it's died away [Nyx]

Ampere The Mother of Companions Posts: 719
Dragon's Throat Sultana atk: 9 | def: 11 | dam: 4.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14 hh :: 6 years HP: 73 | Buff: DANCE
Kygo :: Green Cheek Conure :: None Blu
#1

THERE'S A STORM WARNING JUST FOR YOU


She had been fasting. It was an attempt to harden her body, to push it to its limits for survival, but she hated it. It was even worse with the heat, because although she'd never realize it, a good amount of her water had come from the vegetation she snacked on throughout the day. It didn't help that she had wandered to one of the better grazing sites in Helovia. In fact she had probably flown from the Throat on her break for this very reason; an unconscious desire to eat. This was not to say she had given up food completely - she didn't want to die after all. She had however certainly cut back for the past several days, which wasn't too hard when she stayed in the Throat where the food was sparse and bitter, and where she could occupy herself with her work.

Still, she felt the gnaw of it in her gut. I can last longer she thought stubbornly, landing by one of the streams that cut through the land. In an effort to compete with dehydration and hunger, she took slow, small sips of the refreshing fluid, letting its weight make her stomach momentarily complacent. It wasn't enough though, she needed a distraction.

Looking around, Ampere saw a few horses, so she called out a challenging whistle, hoping a quick spar might settle her mind. "Let's have a friendly fight!" she called out, to clarify. She didn't need to go home bloody, although she supposed that's what her recent knowledge of herbs was for. Setting herself to walk, to busy her mind and her feet while she waited for an opponent, Ampere glanced at the foliage to see if any herbs were around she might need later. It was hard not to look at it all and think food though.



A: 0/3
W: /800

Normal timeline. 3 posts each. Magic and companions allowed. Tallsun. Thistle meadow. Before noon, but hot!

@[Nyx] you can attack first in your next post or I can, don't matter!

Ampere

Tag me only if starting a new thread.
Magic or force permitted any time, aside from death.

Nyx Posts: 292
Deceased atk: 7.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.0
Mare :: Unicorn :: 16hh :: 11 HP: 72 | Buff: SWIFT
Dominus :: White Lion :: None Snow
#2


Sweat beads liberally upon the silver soldier's body, the Tallsun heat searing against her fur. Even moving in such intense sun is an effort, let alone fighting in it. Yet Nyx wants to test herself, force herself out of her comfort zone and into what lies beyond. She won't strengthen if she restricts herself to only sparring on cold days. After all, an invading enemy isn't likely to say 'don't you worry, it's too hot to attack you today, but you're welcome to come join us for a cocktail and bikini party instead'. Real fights do not take place at the most convenient times, and so the soldier intends to show her devotion to the Edge with blood and copious amounts of sweat.

Dominus loiters nearby, tongue lolling. Despite his white fur he suffers greatly from the heat, with his thick mane and his inability to sweat. Through their bond Nyx can tell that he is considerably pissed off about being made to fight in such conditions, because his love of dozing on a rock in the sun outweights his love of shredding things. But with much cajoling the mare has persuaded the idle predator to participate, and all that remains is for them to find a target.

The words of a pegasus reach her ears. If there's one thing Nyx hates, it's fighting bloody pegasi. As well as being impossible to hit because they can dance just out of a horn's reach like feathered trolls, she also has an irrational fear of being shat on from a great height, because pegasi and pigeons are closely related, right? But again, the iron lady wants to test her limits. A day that's as sweaty as a randy stallion's asscrack combined with a formidable feathered foe? Nyx's idea of hell, yet it is a hell she wants to conquer. "Count me in," she says cheerily, horned head dipping in a nod. "I'm Nyx of the World's Edge, this is Dominus." The lion's eyes light up, his slovenly intentions forgotten at the sight of something with wings for him to try and eat. Friendly spar, Nyx reminds him, but the dark laugh that fills her mind doesn't exactly fill her with hope.

Her gaze pans across Ampere, taking in everything. Naturally the mare's wings are an advantage, and if those electrical markings are anything to go by then Nyx isn't the only storm queen here, so she'll have to be on the lookout for magic. Yet the majority of her opponent's fur is black, and sun is drawn to dark colours. Such fur is a distinct disadvantage in Nyx's eyes, because the black parts of her legs are far hotter than the grey parts, and if Ampere is that hot across all her body...hopefully she will tire faster. The mare is smaller than Nyx, lending Nyx a possible strength advantage, but that probably means Ampere is more agile. The surroundings don't exactly offer much in the way of comfort either, as there are no hills for the soldier to perch upon in order to try and attack her pegasus foe when the blue-marked mare inevitably takes to the skies. After all, it's too much to hope that Ampere will helpfully forget she has wings for the duration of the fight.

But enough dilly-dallying. Bloody, sweaty glory awaits.

Deciding to try and seize the advantage of attacking first, Nyx bunches her muscles and launches herself forwards. She aims to charge towards Ampere head-on at a slow and energy-conserving canter, horn lowered like a knight's javelin, looking for all the world like she intends to try and drive the obsidian spiral deep into the pegasi's chest. But no! At the very last moment Nyx flings her weight to her right, hooves digging deep into the meadow as she uses the sun-hardened ground to propel herself in her chosen direction. As she does, she leans her left shoulderblade slightly forwards, aiming to crash the front of it into the left side of Ampere's chest. Her aim is to use her superior weight and size to try and push the smaller mare backwards, perhaps even unbalance her. It's not very often that Nyx fights somebody smaller than herself, so she's damned well going to enjoy all the perks.

Simultaneously, the soldier flicks her head upwards, her horn angled towards the front of Ampere's left wing near where it joins her body. In a real fight Nyx would have tried to drive the horn deep into the meat of the wing joint to disable it, but this is only a spar and the steel woman isn't that mean. Instead she aims to simply rasp the tip of her horn upwards across the left wing joint, to try and draw blood but not irreversibly maim.

-------

1/3 - 797 words

Summary: Charges towards Ampere, feints right at the last moment and tries to slam left shoulder into left shoulder whilst also trying to horn-slash at her left wing.

Good luck Blu, excited to be fighting you again! :D @[Ampere]



Other characters have permission to use magic/violence against Nyx at any time.


Ampere The Mother of Companions Posts: 719
Dragon's Throat Sultana atk: 9 | def: 11 | dam: 4.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14 hh :: 6 years HP: 73 | Buff: DANCE
Kygo :: Green Cheek Conure :: None Blu
#3

THERE'S A STORM WARNING JUST FOR YOU


Ampere lends her ears to the sound of an approach, her eyes swift to follow. Her hopes are not disappointed, as Nyx's smooth voice marks herself as the fresh opponent. Ampere might have smiled then, more than ready to delve into the contest of their bodies, yet a frown creeps into place instead. "You intend to fight with him?" Ampere asks of the lion that stands beside the grey unicorn, her blue eyes sharp as they watch him. If her answer was anything but no then they might have to redefine friendly spar.

Too late for pleasantries though, as Nyx is on the move, and Ampere responds with her own motion. Grunting as hooves kick off the dried turf of the meadow, Ampere reaches out for electrical currents that exist in all things. They are like an orchestra singing to her with the humming of their energy, and so she plays on their strings, tugging them gently into the song of battle.

As the gap between her and Nyx closes, faster than she intended (for such a tall mare she expected her to be slower), Ampere jerks on the electrical cords that run through the dirt, the rocks, and the plants existing all around them, hoping to fling them up and into Nyx's face. It's not much, but a sudden storm of petals and pebbles heaved from the ground up would hopefully be enough to deter that horn that Nyx had so dead-set on Ampere's chest.

In that instant Nyx had swerved to the side, her horn just sweeping past Ampere's chest as she boldly charged in, teeth exposed beneath taut lips. Unsure if her magical potpourri would work or not, and reacting before what she assumed was an inevitable stab, Ampere had swerved to her right as well, balancing on the left wing she tossed out so that she could shy right. Her teeth then were aimed to strike once, twice, against Nyx's left side of her neck. Both of their feints gave enough distance to save the Mother of Companions from the stout and heavy ram of Nyx's shoulder. Similarly it was easy enough to breeze up and over the silver bullet. Yet the piercing accuracy of the obsidian blade, one which was already reaching for her feathered appendage, was not something Ampere could dodge.

A sound too similar to a squawk burst from Ampere's chest as she abruptly lurched back on her ass and leapt right, her left wing flapping and jerking against the sensation of being speared. Having already lifted the wing and intending to fold it in, the horn had snagged on the remnants of bone and tendon tying in the feathers to her elbow (essentially). Feathers were shorn away by the sharp point, and blood pours between the black and blue of the wind borne limb. They did break apart though, and gingerly Ampere folded it in, thankful that it still operated, even if it burned with an acute pain.

Snorting heavily, derived from the innate fear of losing the ability to fly, Ampere reassessed her opponent. War had to be her trade, of that Ampere was sure. She'd already lost her advantage at keeping the girl close by jerking away so strongly, meaning she'd have to face that horn again if she wanted to fight alongside it, which was the best course of action for limiting the long weapon. Perhaps Ampere could use some blades of her own though.

Picking up a trot from her stand still and brief recuperation Ampere set off, her body bowed in towards Nyx in an effort to be ready for whatever next assault came. Meanwhile Ampere's magic strummed on the electrical cords once more, but rather than meager foliage and dirt, she played on the hilts of her knives. One made of bone and one made of metal shot from their well hidden sheaths by her wing joints, directed by the hand of Ampere's magic, and flung onto the dirt while Ampere ran past. They smiled under the glint of the sun

"Get close and stay close," she told herself as she rounded upon Nyx, knowing it was not only safer, but easier. This sun would drain her faster than she realized, so Ampere couldn't afford to keep trotting around. Diving in on her left shoulder suddenly, Ampere charged towards Nyx, ideally coming up on her right side if the mare wasn't holding Ampere steady in her sights. The two daggers left behind leapt to life and were aimed, one above and one below, to cut shallowly into and past Nyx's opposite side that Ampere approached on.

At least the fight had done what she'd asked of it; she wasn't thinking about her hunger any more.



A: 1/3
W: 794/800

:: [Magic: EarthxShock (U) | able to direct the natural electrical currents of surrounding objects and living things, allowing temporary movement of them and the blocking of magic flow in them.
:: [Restrictions | Can block 1 magic ability for 1 post; 30 seconds in battle. Can move something/someone for 30 seconds; 15 seconds in battle. To move someone must be suggested movement or given permission beforehand to specifically say.]
:: [Item: Dagger| A small iron dagger with a black hilt which is enchanted with an ability which allows the viewer to see an ongoing event in a nearby land when invoked with the phrase "the watching shift goes ever on"]
:: [Item: bone dagger | when invoked with a name its tip will always point towards the direction that individual is at until found or the dagger is sheathed.]

@[Nyx] D: so sorry for the wait!!!

Ampere

Tag me only if starting a new thread.
Magic or force permitted any time, aside from death.

Nyx Posts: 292
Deceased atk: 7.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.0
Mare :: Unicorn :: 16hh :: 11 HP: 72 | Buff: SWIFT
Dominus :: White Lion :: None Snow
#4


An expression of comical bafflement spreads across the soldier's features at Ampere's question. She assumes the other mare is frightened of Dominus and decides to reassure her as best she can. "Sadly he doesn't give me a lot of choice. He doesn't bite too hard though, I promise." See, isn't Nyx a helpful little soul, reassuring her opponent that she probably won't lose a limb? Dominus gives an ominous growl in the distance, which doesn't exactly punctuate the unicorn's promises.

The distance between them closes, and Nyx wonders what Ampere is going to do to prevent taking the full force of her attacks. She doubts the pegasus will simply stand there and let herself be stabbed - and, sure enough, Nyx feels electricity begin to sing around her. Oho! It seems she has found a fellow storm queen, another lover of the static. The thought would thrill her, if it wasn't so inconvenient. Ampere possessing shock magic somewhat lessens the surprise factor of Nyx having similar powers, and although she had assumed as much from Ampere's lightning markings, she had hoped they were just for show.

It seems her thunder has been well and truly stolen. Pun intended.

Flecks of ground fly up towards the iron lady's face, and her eyes widen. She tries to reach into her own magic and erect a shield around herself, but she doesn't have time...mercifully, she does not need it. Perhaps the fact Nyx is living lightning deters the debris from hitting her, or perhaps the god of fortune got laid last night and is in a good mood - either way none of the flecks connect with her, to her relief.

Nyx soon has chance to taste disappointment herself, however, as her shoulder collides with thin air. Her horn, though, has better luck, eliciting a squawk from the pegasus. I knew they were part pigeon! "Sorry," comes the warrior's sheepish voice, hooves grinding into the ground to halt her. She isn't in the habit of apologising to her opponents mid-fight, yet this is a friendly spar and she hadn't meant to cause so many feathers to loosen from the wing.

It is the whisper of the wind nearby that notifies her of Ampere's oncoming teeth towards her neck; her mind, having already reached tentative fingertips into her magic, now allows the power to seep free. Around Nyx's body erupts a thin layer of ice, coating her like frozen armour. A current of electricity springs across the shield, ensuring that any contact with the ice will result in a painful shock and perhaps cuts from the shattered glasslike pieces. Of course, Ampere could well have enough awareness to retract her jaws before they strike Nyx's now-covered neck; if not, however, then the black one could be in for a nasty shock, and Nyx's skin will be safe from any bruising.

Her opponent shies away, wings flailing, and the soldier drags in a few deep breaths. Already she is sweating profusely, neck moist beneath the icy armour. The effort of maintaining her magic is immense, and she allows the shards to crack and fall away.

It is with a considerable sense of oh, shit that Nyx watches Ampere come towards her, pointy things unsheathing. Given Ampere's move away and her momentary recouperation, Nyx has time to swing herself around, hopefully facing her opponent again rather than having Ampere come at her right side. Her gaze - openly fearful, for she has never seen anything like this before - fixes on the dual knives as they whizz towards her. She cannot summon magic again, not yet - she will be impaled, undignified and bloody, on the end of this mare's daggers, and there's nothing she can do...

But yes, there is. With a savage growl Dominus throws himself towards Ampere's left side. More specifically, he aims for her folded left wing, the injured one, the smell of blood enticing him as his hindquarters bunch and he lunges up. His teeth aim for the left wing, the meat of it, caring little that this is a spar. He seeks to grasp whatever piece of the wing he can, whilst his hindlegs tuck up. He hopes to end up swinging his full weight on Ampere's left wing, trying to pull it open and jerk it down like it is prey - he hopes this will distract and pain the mare, stop her daggers from pursuing his bonded.

Nyx, meanwhile, shies forwards, feeling the knives whistle past her. Hopefully facing Ampere, her left foreleg lifts and stomps down, aiming to rasp the front of her hoof down the front of Ampere's right foreleg, from knee to fetlock. She hopes the stones stuck beneath her hoof will create small cuts in the skin, and perhaps pain the mare enough to make her drop her weapons.

-------

2/3 - 800 words

Summary: Used her magic (listed below) to coat herself and prevent the bites, Dominus tried to bite left wing whilst Nyx tried to stomp left hoof down right foreleg.

[ Magic: Shock x Water | 'Thunder shield'; able to coat herself in a thin layer of electrically-charged ice, which when struck hurts the attacker and prevents damage to Nyx herself. ]

@[Ampere]



Other characters have permission to use magic/violence against Nyx at any time.


Ampere The Mother of Companions Posts: 719
Dragon's Throat Sultana atk: 9 | def: 11 | dam: 4.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14 hh :: 6 years HP: 73 | Buff: DANCE
Kygo :: Green Cheek Conure :: None Blu
#5

THERE'S A STORM WARNING JUST FOR YOU


Fury burned through her like a high voltage wire, whipping against her bones and igniting her blood. The sensation born of the knowledge that this companion was indeed cast into the fight for blood, made Ampere irrational. Her high wattage emotions on top of an extremely empty stomach made her reactions careless and stupid. Like so many other moments before this, Ampere let herself get swept away in the tide, and in doing so, lost her footing.

Like a wounded snake Ampere's jaws snapped back suddenly, senses prickling with recognition of electricity. It hummed along the girl's flesh, and Ampere knew better than to test its bite. Committed to her momentum however, the retraction of it sends the power spasming back through her muscles, twinging one in her neck. It would make more reaches painful for the rest of the fight, but would not debilitate the movement of her nape, though she might think twice about biting again. Less observed, but still notable, was the skin her teeth sheared away from her own tongue in her haste. Blood pooled in her mouth, slung free as she pivoted away from the damn horn.

The idiocy didn't end however. Spurned by her first failure, Ampere continued to grow aggravated by her opponent, and utterly failed at managing to pierce or batter Nyx with knife or body. Instead, Ampere dropped her assault, knives stuttering into the grass while her hooves carved it away, purchase easily found in the Thistle's folds. With nary a hair to spare, Ampere just leaped out of the way of the lion's paws, and thus, Nyx's legs too. Stout and well muscled with training, Ampere had enough agility and strength to bridle her attack power and divert it into an evasive maneuver instead; just another benefit of her sweet ass. No matter the cause or the situation, the Mother of Companions refused to hurt any bonded creature.

Even now, in the heat of battle, with her heart wildly singing in her throat instead of her chest, Ampere resisted the urge to kick out with her hind feet in defensive retaliation. It would have been a natural reaction, and a wise choice, in the likely event that the lion or his mistress should be in pursuit. "FUCK!" she rasped out somewhere amid her flurry of heartbeats, leaning into her right lead as she ran forward and aimed to arch around, back towards where Nyx had been and the lion would not be. Nyx would likely move however, especially considering Ampere gave herself wide room to run, trying to be sure to avoid the lion and knowing she had the endurance to pelt out such a track. Fury pulsed in the frogs of her feet with each stride, and in response her breaths blew out hot and hard, keeping her quick tempo as she stormed the storm queen.

"FUCK YOU!" Ampere spat as she attempted to draw near, a trail of blue sparks lifted in her wake as dead grasses and meadow were trampled and broken apart. The withered plant material found new life as her magic coaxed it into its pure form of energy. Small blue spheres of electrical origin hummed and pulsed together as they merged into one cohesive unit, working themselves into the likeness of a lion behind her. Ampere huffed, sweat staining her neck line and exhaustion settling in her bones as her body screamed for food to satiate all this energy she was expending. Later she snarled at her own weaknesses, wings extending, the left one wincing and dragging a bit behind, but functioning as she flapped them. Headed towards Nyx, wings pumped, feet pushed her up, up, up! Ampere leaped into the wild arms of the wind, her weight cast upon her wings after a final shove of her feet. She should be too far to strike Nyx, and thus hopefully was too far to be hit by Nyx. She was mostly going for dramatic flare, one of her finer points, and hopefully it helped hide the lightning lion behind her body until the last moment, so that she might distract her electric foe.

The blue lion had been hot on Ampere's heels and as she rose it ran straight, teeth agape in a silent roar as it intended to collide into Nyx's right side (or whichever was closest). Whether it made contact or not, it'd fizzle out; Ampere's focus was aimed elsewhere now. Swooping around once she steadied her flight, Ampere came in for a low crop dusting sweep over Nyx. The black tail lifted and Ampere sneered as she aimed to drop fresh dung upon Nyx. "A nice shit stain to match the crappy life you gave Dominus!" Ampere called out raucously.



A: 2/3
W: 799/800
@[Nyx] OKAY NOW IT SHOULD BE FASTER SRRY

Ampere

Tag me only if starting a new thread.
Magic or force permitted any time, aside from death.

Nyx Posts: 292
Deceased atk: 7.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.0
Mare :: Unicorn :: 16hh :: 11 HP: 72 | Buff: SWIFT
Dominus :: White Lion :: None Snow
#6


Something changes within the other mare, like the fury of a thousand stars. Nyx is momentarily concerned, wondering what she's done to ignite such rage. She cannot dwell, because her foe wheels away from both her lion and her hoof. Irritation spasms, but it does not last long. There is still time to win this.

Dominus, hissing from his failed attack, returns to all fours, crouched low and dangerous. Nyx's nostrils gape as she drags in tight breaths, sweat drenching her body to lend her silver fur an eerie shimmer. She hasn't done a massive amount of moving in this fight yet the merciless heat has sapped her energy. She is the storm, after all; majestic and deadly, but shortlived. Whatever breeds make up her mongrel heritage, endurance isn't her strong point, especially not in this scorching sunshine. But there is still a fight to finish, and the second Nyx's attack fails to hit, she swings her heaving body around to watch every movement. She can rest later.

Expletives bleed from the winged one's mouth, and Nyx winces. "You kiss your mother with that mouth?" she remarks, still baffled as to the change in her foe. Nyx knows she cannot just stand here and allow herself to be launched at by her enraged opponent; she must press on, try to gain the advantage. Ampere's anger will give her strength, adrenaline, pain relief, whereas Nyx is sweaty, tired and confused. So she steels her resolve and charges towards Ampere, hooves easily finding purchase on the hard ground as she launches herself.

But before she can reach her foe, the pegasus rises, phoenixlike. Now it's Nyx's turn to swear, because once the glorified pigeon is in the air, it'll be nearly impossible to hit. Because of Nyx's charge, though, Ampere takes off just in front of her, and the silver soldier knows she must try and do damage now, before the mare soars out of her reach. Braking and throwing her weight to her hindquarters Nyx lifts her front end off the ground, her horn jousting powerfully upwards. There is little hope of hitting Ampere's underbelly, she's too high up for that, but the ironheart hopes her horn will gash into the pegasi's left fetlock as it whizzes past her head.

Too late, the grey realises Ampere's exaggerated ascension was a facade, a cover for her true intentions. An electric lion slams towards her right side, and there's nothing Nyx can do. Dominus bellows his rage and dives towards the offending creature, but he's too bulky, too slow, too far away. Nyx's shrill whinny pierces the air, backpedalling on her hindlegs and trying to bring her front hooves slamming down on the blue creature. The lion clips the underside of her right midsection, scorching a painful burn where it touches and sending livid pain through the her abdomen. Then it disappears, and her hooves crash into nothingness.

She snatches at her balance, just managing to stay on all fours. The hairs on the injured area are blackened and the skin underneath stings, and finally Nyx allows the storm to flow through her. Anger, pain, fear; they combine into a heady mixture as she wheels around to look for Ampere. Dizzily she hunts for her foe, but hears only a mocking voice and - oh, you've got to be kidding me.

A series of warm, wet thuds on her back. A familiar smell.

Oh no you diiiiii-dn't.

She'd been right, pegasi are glorified pigeons. "How classy, you shitty-arsed blue whore!" she bellows, her ears slicked back as she rears and blindly lunges upwards with her horn again. Fuck knows how high Ampere is when she drops her pegasus-bombs, but Nyx hopes her horn will manage to smack a hindleg at least. Frustrated, flustered and covered in Ampere's last lunch, the ironheart hungers to stab into warm flesh and kick into sweet muscle, to crush her opponent into the ground - but she can't, not when the feather-faced-fucker is up in the air like a goddamn kite. "How dare you judge what kind of life I give Dominus! He is everything to me, and hell will freeze over before I let anything happen to him! Your attack makes sense - you're full of shit!" Dominus roars his approval, their interlocked minds touching, caressing. He is as frustrated as she; he wants to sink claws and teeth into the blue one, to rip and slaughter.

Returning her forefeet to the ground, Nyx seeks to swing around, her muscled hindquarters bulking as she kicks her back legs out one, two, three times. Chances are there's nothing to kick at, but she hopes Ampere may swoop past again for another attack - hopes the blue will fly close enough for Nyx's pumping hooves to kick some sense into her.


-------

3/3 - 798 words

Summary: Tries to stab Ampere in the left hindleg as she takes off, then tries to stab her anywhere as she does her poop-dust. Kicks out with back legs in the hope Ampere is somewhere close.


@[Ampere]



Other characters have permission to use magic/violence against Nyx at any time.


Ampere The Mother of Companions Posts: 719
Dragon's Throat Sultana atk: 9 | def: 11 | dam: 4.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14 hh :: 6 years HP: 73 | Buff: DANCE
Kygo :: Green Cheek Conure :: None Blu
#7

THERE'S A STORM WARNING JUST FOR YOU


Nyx was fast, but so was Ampere, and a charge was obvious. All it required to escape was one less stride, an extra oomph from her beautiful ass, and Ampere was aloft without a nick from that deadly horn. Unfortunately the same could not be said for Nyx's next attack. Sometimes speed doesn't mean a damn when you're airborne and have only your strength to rely on since there's nothing to push off of (her ass was sadly wasted in the sky... except maybe this time). Needing her shit to hit the mare, Ampere had to get closer for better accuracy, and that landed her right in prime pin-cushion territory. Maybe she had been hoping the shock of it would have rendered Nyx motionless, or maybe she hadn't been thinking that far ahead.

Whatever was the cause, the end result HURT.

Ampere has been stabbed a time or two in her lifetime, and probably will be a couple times more, especially if she wasn't wary enough of them. Every time, every damn fucking time, it hurt more than anything she could remember (except maybe when her love burnt half of her body). Even if it didn't go deep, like this time, even if it was a smooth spear, unlike this time, it tore so well and plunged so quickly, that the body immediately responded with agony.

Ampere shouted out "FUCKING BITCH," to keep herself from crying out with a girly squeal as the black spire needled its way into her left stifle region. The meat tore, especially with the little twist Nyx's horn boasted, and it bled happily down her leg like a red sash. Even if it wasn't particularly deep, the area was sensitive, and it would definitely make walking more difficult, much less landing. In response, stupid response thanks to instinct, Ampere kicked out with a powerful buck. It was blind and reactionary and just shitty though, so it probably didn't even come anywhere close to Nyx, although she would have gotten great satisfaction if she managed to clock the bitch's dome.

All of that threw Ampere off course, and unsteadily she went down. She hadn't been planning on staying airborne much longer, because it was even more exertion on an already thinned body, one which continued to sweat profusely under the heat, and one which was threatening to cramp with the little fasting experiment Ampere had opted for. She landed hard, favoring her left hind, but her wings flared for balance, which pulled taut the injury she had sustained early. She winced, but thankfully the ground was forgiving, if a bit dusty this time of year.

Ampere whirled, anger carrying her through the minimal hurt. The dust obscured her view of Nyx briefly, but Ampere suspected she was still nearby, likely shaking off her shit. She would have grinned, if not for all of Nyx's nonsense she spouted off. Ears slicked back into her mane as Ampere regarded her silver foe, hating her more with each syllable. "He has no life with you!" she bellowed out as her body leapt forward, balking as bucks fired off at random. Stopping hard hurt her stifle more, and her breaths came fast and ragged as her endurance was reaching its limit in these strained conditions. So Ampere settled with gathering her rage into her magic, and blasting it out towards Nyx in an attempt to fling her away, maybe even push her into some remnants of shit. The electricity that governed Nyx's impulses sang to Ampere, and eagerly her magic reached out for them, attempting to control them. It'd be easy to repel that electricity and shove Nyx away from her, or make one of her legs buckle, forcing her to the ground and the dung where she belonged.

"He is a slave to you, and you have the audacity to think that is a good life?" Ampere sneered, feeling her rage ebb into weariness as her hurt and her hunger caught up with her. Damnit, she wanted to pummel this girl, but she'd be fighting uphill at this rate. "Stay in the shit were you belong, bonded."

With that Ampere turned to stalk off, ready to zap her ass if she tried to pursue.



A: 3/3
W: 719/800
@[Nyx] <3

p.s. I did not proofread this, I am a horrible person.

Ampere

Tag me only if starting a new thread.
Magic or force permitted any time, aside from death.

Nyx Posts: 292
Deceased atk: 7.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.0
Mare :: Unicorn :: 16hh :: 11 HP: 72 | Buff: SWIFT
Dominus :: White Lion :: None Snow
#8


She stinks, her gleaming silver pelt browned by the pigeon's arse-bombs. Black dots flicker in front of her eyes with the sheer force of her rage, a vein throbbing in her temple and her ears so far back they are completely lost in her mane. Bitch whore knob dickwadding arse-face! There is a deep sense of satisfaction when her horn manages to rasp against the flying fiend, the black spiral almost sighing with delight at the impact of sweet flesh.

The soldier scampers forwards after her attack and the ensuing bucks, which means that Ampere's lashing hindlegs mercifully miss her head. That would be most embarassing, to be knocked sparko by the flying crap-dispenser. Dominus presses close to her leg, lending her his strength for these final few seconds. His confusion is evident, radiating down their bond. "Why wing-horse say those things? She say I have no life - she think I'm dead?" Nyx wants to touch her muzzle to him, to caress and comfort him, but she can't. Not when Ampere could come to enact revenge at any moment. She doesn't understand, she mentally replies to him. I love you.

"I love you even more than noms," he replies, and this brings a smile to Nyx's face. It gives her a second wind, and through the sweat and pain she breathes, preparing to weather the final storm. She wheels around at the heavy thud that indicates Ampere has landed, tail arching and lashing to dispel the flies that persecute her frothing flanks. "You clearly have no life if you think you can judge me," snarls the silver soldier, eyes narrowing as she stares into the dust cloud created by the other's landing. What's she planning? "Ever thought about getting laid? A good hard knobbing might lighten you up a bit!" Her words are venomous, but her exhaustion is evident in them - she stays still, chest heaving, deciding to let Ampere come to her. Tire the black bitch out that little bit more.

But there is no sign of her foe. Bollocks. Instead, an unseen force slams into the ironheart, something she could never have prepared for. A startled hiss leaves her and she stumbles, powerless against the electric blast. Her legs flail, slaloming on shit, trying to keep her upright as she drunkenly lurches...

Then there is a thud, followed by an agonised whimper, as her desperately pedalling limbs smack hard into Dominus. Her precious bonded had still been fawning about her legs, unable to move in time, as oblivious to the magic as Nyx had been. One hoof stomps down on his tail, another kicks him hard in the ribs and she trips, barely staying on all fours. Her movement jars the shoulder muscle of her left foreleg and it immediately tightens, yet her concern is far more for Dominus. The usually proud white lion lies in a crumpled heap in front of her, and the second she has her balance again she hobbles over to him, nosing him, nudging him, feeling his agony inside her head, inside her body, a million times worse than any injury to herself.

And she did it.

"He's not my fucking slave!" she damned near screams after the retreating form of her foe. "If he was my slave I wouldn't give a shit that he's hurt!" Dominus manages a weak growl, staggering drunkenly to his feet and favouring one paw, his bruised tail curled around a hock. "Had worse," he says, but Nyx knows he is just putting on a brave face.

Casting an evil glance at the distant figure of Ampere, Nyx lowers her head and helps Dominus clamber onto her shoulders, as she did when he was a cub. Her precious. His pain distracts her from her exhaustion, her sweat-soaked, shit-stinking coat, her pulled muscles and multiple injuries.

He is her world.


-------

Closing defence - 641 words

Good fight Blu!




Other characters have permission to use magic/violence against Nyx at any time.


Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#9

By my verdict: AMPERE is the winner!

NYX
Realism [+2]
-- You had some good realism with taking damage through the dice rolls. It was easy to read your posts and guestimate what damage was rolled.
-- One thing I found a bit unrealistic, however, were the stones mentioned in post two. They are only mentioned briefly, but are written as sharp enough to be a factor for injuring Ampere. If the stones are sharp enough to injure Ampere, they are surely sharp enough to injury Nyx--especially in her hooves!
-- One thing you should keep in mind when writing battles is to always use the animal anatomy that matches the character you are writing. For example, in post three Nyx takes damage on the "underside of her right midsection", but it is unclear really of what part of her body that is. There are anatomy guides in the Guidebook, if you need help with what exactly each point of a horse is called.
-- Another aspect I found to be a little unrealistic was near the end of the fight. You write Nyx as wearing down, but then she suddenly has the strength and stamina to buck three times towards Ampere. Even just one buck takes a lot of power!


Emotion [+1]
-- As a reader, I understood that you know Nyx well, but I felt a craving for more. The times that had heavy emotion were excellent, like when Nyx was pooped on and also when she is angered by Ampere's accusation of companion slavery! However, as a whole, when emotions were referenced they seemed dry and cursory; they were just written, but I did not feel them. I felt this craving for deeper emotion because it is written that Nyx flip-flops from fear to anger, then they mix, but I don't always get why or how, except that it is just plainly stated.


Prose [+2.5]
-- You are a gifted writer that definitely understands what they want to say. Mistakes here and there did not affect what you meant to get across, but affected the readability as detailed below. Above all, you have a style of writing this character that is true to you.


Readability [+1.5]
-- Just focus on proofreading and even reading aloud, and hopefully that will help dispel some awkward phrasing.

-- "shoulderblade" = two words :: This was a mistake you made more than once. Please watch this!
-- "recouperation" = recuperation
-- "shortlived" = two words
-- "throwing her weight to her hindquarters Nyx" = throwing her weight to her hindquarters, Nyx :: Need a comma
-- "Nyx's shrill whinny pierces the air, backpedalling on her hindlegs and trying to bring her front hooves slamming down on the blue creature." :: Awkward sentence plus a spelling error made this sentence a very difficult read.


Finally tally: 48.5 + 7 = 55.5 HP

*******************************************

AMPERE
Realism [+3]
-- You do well to translate damage from the dice into your writing. With your magic you are very creative while still staying within the parameters of the restrictions, which I appreciate. Even though the same magic is repeated throughout the fight, Ampere is able to use it in many different ways and it is not monotonous or predictable.


Emotion [+2]
-- In your first post, I was a little disappointed. From knowing Ampere and her background with companions, I was hoping to see this battle heavily focus on Nyx and her lion. Even with the first post being dry in this aspect, the subsequent posts were very fulfilling to Ampere's personality. However, Ampere's emotions were not only focused on the companion issue, which made her feel more well-rounded and realistic as a character.


Prose [+3.5]
Your posts show clear style of writing. You have a unique style that is captivating and brings the reader in without clogging them with dense language.

Readability [+2]
-- You have some frequent tense changes and there were a few instances where your posts flip-flopped on active and passive voice. Careful proofreading, and reading aloud, will help with this.
-- “Nyx's left side of her neck” Awkward phrasing.
-- Similarly it was = Similarly, it was :: Comma needed

Finally tally: 46.5 + 10.5 = 57 HP

Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#10
Snowwy requested a second judging of this spar.



By my verdict: AMPERE is the winner!

NYX
Realism [3]
  • "Yet the majority of her opponent's fur is black, and sun is drawn to dark colours" - The sun isn't drawn to anything, it just affects darker colours more.
  • Perhaps the fact Nyx is living lightning deters the debris from hitting her, or perhaps the god of fortune got laid last night and is in a good mood - either way none of the flecks connect with her, to her relief. EHHHHH. I get that Ampere's attack didn't hit, but I really hated the first part of this response. Saying that perhaps it was something inherent about Nyx which made the attack not hit comes across as really disingenuous, imo. It would have been just as easy to have Nyx think, "pffft. Some rubble? Who cares?" and just charge through it, than make it out to be some supernatural intervening force.
  • I think there was WAY too much time between when Nyx's horn impacts Ampere in P2-P1, and when Nyx uses her shield. Ampere's bites are meant to occur fairly simultaneously with Nyx's horn attacks - Nyx tries to ram her shoulder and stab Amp's wing - Amp tries to dart right and bite Nyx. They both feint so Ampere misses Nyx's shoulder, but her teeth are still stretched out to bite her. However you write that there's time for Nyx to stop, say sorry, use her magic as a shield, THEN hear Ampere coming to attack.
  • With a savage growl Dominus throws himself towards Ampere's left side. More specifically, he aims for her folded left wing, the injured one, the smell of blood enticing him as his hindquarters bunch and he lunges up. - This felt unfair to me. You make it sound like Ampere just ran right by the lion - as if she was within a few feet of him. In reality, they've been moving around and it comes across as uncharitiable to just say that the lion is within attacking distance (if all he has to do is 'throw himself towards' her, rather than having to get up and run towards her first, then attack).
  • She hopes the stones stuck beneath her hoof will create small cuts in the skin, and perhaps pain the mare enough to make her drop her weapons. - I don't know about you, but when my horses get rocks stuck in their hooves they are NOT happy about it. This is creative, it just isn't realistic. You could have saved it, if you had mentioned any sort of discomfort Nyx felt at having stones in her hoof - for instance, saying, "Ampere's little dust-storm had caused a few small pebbles to become lodged in her hoof. Not enough to hurt, but enough to cause discomfort. As she tried to stomp on Ampere's leg, she hoped some of the blue mare's previous ire would come back to bite her." or something.
  • Why didn't Dominus see the electric lion and let Nyx know it was following Ampere?
  • The soldier scampers forwards after her attack and the ensuing bucks, which means that Ampere's lashing hindlegs mercifully miss her head - These attacks do not occur at the same time. Ampere flies over Nyx, Nyx stabs Ampere, Ampere defensively bucks, Nyx gets pooped on and screams a bit, THEN she bucks. The timing isn't even close.
  • She wheels around at the heavy thud that indicates Ampere has landed, tail arching and lashing to dispel the flies that persecute her frothing flanks. Again, this doesn't make sense. Ampere is already on the ground when Nyx bucks three times. I'm not going to keep mentioning it, but the timeline of your closing defense is really off.



    Emotion [1]

    All in all, you had more 'ha-ha' emotion, rather than real deep-down emotion. You mention Nyx is scared of Ampere's daggers, but that's the extent of it. Nyx wonders why Ampere is suddenly so mad, but doesn't ask why. We know that Ampere is feeding her tired body on her hate, but Nyx seems to keep up just fine. Why? What's keeping her going? At the end when Dominus is injured, I really expected a lot more. You wrote that Nyx cared about him, but I definitely didn't feel like she did.

    P1: she also has an irrational fear of being shat on from a great height, because pegasi and pigeons are closely related, right.
    P1: After all, an invading enemy isn't likely to say 'don't you worry, it's too hot to attack you today, but you're welcome to come join us for a cocktail and bikini party instead' - HAH.
    P2: You write that Nyx is afraid of Ampere's daggers ... and I'm assuming that's why her lion intervenes. You were right up against the word count, so i'm thinking you just didn't have the space to write this part out, but I think you missed a great opportunity to get some emotion here. Why is Nyx afraid of daggers but not magic? Isn't it like fighting another unicorn? If not, why? What makes the lion intervene now? What is he thinking?
    P3: Frustrated, flustered and covered in Ampere's last lunch... lololol


    Prose [2]

    P1: outweights his love of shredding things. : outweighs .
    P1: they can dance just out of a horn's reach like feathered trolls: horns reach
    P2: Nyx soon has chance to taste disappointment herself : has a chance
    P3: Dominus, hissing from his failed attack, returns to all fours, crouched low and dangerous - Tense changes.
    P3: but shortlived : short-lived or short lived
    P3: phoenixlike: phoeonix-like
    P4: sending livid pain through the her abdomen: through her abdomen
    P5: to be knocked sparko by the flying crap-dispenser. I don't even know what 'sparko' is supposed to mean.
    P5: desperately pedalling limbs smack: pedaling


    Readability [1]
    There were a couple of places - especially in your first post - that things came across fairly artificially. Unlike the old rubric, we don't have a specific place where we go, "Did they use the terrain well?" "Did they take into account the weather?" "Did they take into account breed differences?" It's much more organic with this new system - and yet you devoted an entire paragraph to ensuring that the judges knew you were mentioning the difference in breeds and what Nyx thought about the terrain. I'm not docking marks, but it's something to consider, because it really interrupted the flow for me. For instance, that Ampere is shorter does not mean Nyx will be stronger. Height isn't the only determining factor when it comes to strength, but because you just wanted to check off the 'mentioned breed differences' box, it came across as really artificial. However there were instances where you did a great job, like this: It's not very often that Nyx fights somebody smaller than herself, so she's damned well going to enjoy all the perks. I would just try and balance it out.

    In P2, you respond to something Ampere says in her post - reassuring her about her lion. Had this been an attack (for instance, had you had Nyx avert or use her magic to stop Ampere's initial magical attack of flying debris) I would have dinged you hard. You already wrote Nyx as introducing the lion and then charging. When you go back and add in this dialogue, you're changing events that you already wrote happened. You cannot do this.

    It seems her thunder has been well and truly stolen. Pun intended. lol

    he hopes this will distract and pain the mare, stop her daggers from pursuing his bonded. - This was awkward to read.

    You use the word 'rasp' in every post whenever you describe Nyx's horn use. I don't know that it's entirely correct ... when you rasp something, you're trying to remove something by scrapping it off, especially with something rough. So like .. sandpaper rasps walls to make them smooth. I didn't think Nyx's horn was that rough? Unicorn horns are generally smooth - even if that's the case, when Nyx tries to stab Ampere she isn't rasping at all - she's stabbing. She's trying to puncture, not scrape something off.

    I mention it in realism, but there are a number of times where the timing is just off. I had to re-read almost every one of your posts to figure out what was happening in the timeline. It was really confusing.


    Finally tally: 48.5 + (7*2) = 62.5HP

    *******************************************

    AMPERE
    Realism [4]

  • She'd already lost her advantage at keeping the girl close by jerking away so strongly, meaning she'd have to face that horn again if she wanted to fight alongside it, which was the best course of action for limiting the long weapon. - Nicely put.
  • I'm the most strict when it comes to PP, but I would watch sentences like this, she told herself as she rounded upon Nyx. The best phrasing is going to be as she tried to round upon Nyx. This feels fairly declarative to me, as if Nyx had magic to instantly disappear, Ampere wouldn't have been rounding on anything.
  • Cool use of her magic with the daggers. As I was reading I was thinking, 'Why did she put them in the sand?' But doing so to attack the opposite side is really interesting!
  • Stout and well muscled with training, Ampere had enough agility and strength to bridle her attack power and divert it into an evasive maneuver instead; just another benefit of her sweet ass. Nice.
  • She was mostly going for dramatic flare, one of her finer points, and hopefully it helped hide the lightning lion behind her body until the last moment, so that she might distract her electric foe. - Cool strategy.
  • YOU TRIED TO POOP ON NYX. AMPERE. HOW COULD YOU.
  • Needing her shit to hit the mare, Ampere had to get closer for better accuracy, and that landed her right in prime pin-cushion territory. ahaha. Perfect.


    Emotion [2]

    OH AMPERE.

    P1: If her answer was anything but no then they might have to redefine friendly spar. OH AMPERE. I love how IMMEDIATELY she worries about the companion.
    P2: Fury burned through her like a high voltage wire, whipping against her bones and igniting her blood. The sensation born of the knowledge that this companion was indeed cast into the fight for blood, made Ampere irrational. Her high wattage emotions on top of an extremely empty stomach made her reactions careless and stupid. Like so many other moments before this, Ampere let herself get swept away in the tide, and in doing so, lost her footing. hnggg

    P3: "He is a slave to you, and you have the audacity to think that is a good life?" Ampere sneered, feeling her rage ebb into weariness as her hurt and her hunger caught up with her. Damnit, she wanted to pummel this girl, but she'd be fighting uphill at this rate. "Stay in the shit were you belong, bonded."

    With that Ampere turned to stalk off, ready to zap her ass if she tried to pursue.



    Prose [4]
    A few tense changes - and blood pours between the black and blue of the wind borne limb., and the next sentence, Ampere folded it in.. Other than that, no problem.


    Readability [2.5]
    They are like an orchestra singing to her with the humming of their energy, and so she plays on their strings, tugging them gently into the song of battle.

    Ampere has been stabbed a time or two in her lifetime, and probably will be a couple times more, especially if she wasn't wary enough of them. This was awkward to read. I assume by 'them' you mean ... horns, or unicorns, but you don't mention it. Also the tense was weird.


    Finally tally: 46.5 + (12.5*2)= 71.5HP


  • Forum Jump:


    RPGfix Equi-venture