And so she came back to where it had all started. The woods were as constant as the sun in its rising, the moon in its phases. Her knees quaked to return to the land, and Rathunax cooed soft sounds of worry into her ears. He was not born when she had first entered Helovia, but she let the memory overcome her, let him see and gaze upon the broken, fragile doll she'd once been. Still as tiny as she ever was, ever more so, a mere weanling struggling through snow drifts taller than she. And blood. Bleeding. Pain across her side, a lance, a dagger of fire. Oh god, all the red. Like a cruel ironic mockery of her flowers, blooming in the snow around her, hot and fresh from her body like a waiting meal for the wolves. She remembered her scarred, blackened knees, her terror like turpine on her tongue. Venom and violence. She remembered thinking, horrified but in some way relieved, that she was going to die in that moment. And she would have, if Svetlana had not found her. But she remembered her terror, choked on it even as an adult, and turned her suddenly burning eyes away from the spot where she'd once crumpled into a defeated heap.

Rathunax cried a sorrowful song, leaping from her back to the east, knowing with a sinking sadness what it was Nayati sought to do in that moment. She merely stood among her flowers, watching them bloom, and wondering what had driven her to this precipice. No, there was no wondering required, she thought with a cruel cutting twist to her mouth. She had lost her home once more, in a way, though it was her family in the end who had won. Nayati understood violence, and she knew inside that they had done it all because they needed to get away from the Moon Goddess and her potential desires to utilize them, destroy them. But she felt as alone in Helovia as she had when she'd first wandered in.

Vadim...she sighed to herself, a smile coming reluctantly to her lips. Yes, she loved him. Though Resplendence had not reacted very well when she'd told her, Nayati could not help how she felt for the quiet, contemplative stallion. Would he forget her, when she left? Would he miss her, worry about her? It hurt to imagine that he would not, but he was a realist, and Nayati was a broken-hearted romanticist. For a moment she considered sending Rathunax to find him, but Helovia was extraordinarily vast, and it would take days if not weeks for Vadim to make it to the Threshold. No...she would tell her mother what needed to be said to the beautiful boy she'd fallen for. Perhaps it made her a coward to disappear without saying goodbye face to face, but she felt that maybe he would be better off without her in the end.

"Thank you," she whispered, to all the Helovian gods, the inherent magic of the land, the Threshold itself. A tear slipped from one ruby eye to caress her cheek lovingly. "You saved me, back then. Thank you." It was all she could say for the land she loved. The land she had to leave.

@[Resplendence]

Fate had given her one last moment to shine, one final gift before Nayati left and faced the life of an outcast once more. Alone again. She knew that she could spare herself that ending, those next few lonely chapter of her life if she merely stayed. But something also drove her onward. She had to do this, for herself. She needed to find that inner strength that was budding, but restricted by the herd life she was in. There was still so much left to explore of herself, and it needed to be done in solitude. Her travels as an outcast had toughened her after the Foothills had fallen to the Grey, and Nayati needed that experience once more. Leaving would not be easy in the least, however. But perhaps that was the first trial? The initial hurdle? Baby steps, she told herself, and Rathunax sighed mournfully.

Wingbeats, small but familiar, brought her ears round towards the sound. Rathunax circled back around with a cry of recognition, calling out to his younger kin. Nayati turned slowly, blinking dumbly to see Resplendence hurrying towards her, relief painted artistically on her beautiful face and glitter descending from her mane and tail. Nayati smiled tearfully to see her there, standing before her like a vision from her dreams. Rue's birth had shoved Nayati far from the family portrait, and she'd descended into the shadows with a quiet sort of understanding. It had happened with Romani as well, experience had taught her that she was never going to be worth enough to be chosen first or kept around as anything more than a charity case.

"Momma," she whispered nonetheless, because of all the mothers Nayati had obtained, Resplendence had been there for her the longest. She hadn't walked away, not fully, and Nayati loved her so much it hurt. Leaving her mother would perhaps be the hardest part of walking away, and Vadim beside her. Because who else would care enough to miss her but those two? Perhaps Alysanne...and Nayati regretted not being able to say goodbye to her either. But if she turned around, if she walked back into the depths of Helovia, she'd never be able to go through with leaving again.

Nayati fell into Resplendence's embrace, tucking her cheek into the warm skin that was so familiar to her. She'd been held in that manner before, when the two had first met, Nayati shaking and terrified in a thorn bush during the night. The motion had not ceased comforting her yet, and knowing it might be her last embrace for quite a while only made yet another tear crease down her cheek. A sob that was once supposed to be a laugh echoed in her hollowed-out throat, beneath the painted crimson rose marking that had one day appeared and never left. How could she possibly break the news? "I'm leaving, momma."

Nayati fell into her embrace like an angel from grace, careless and without regret. She soaked it up like a sponge, drawing into her very pores, hoping to keep her mother's touch with her. Lingering for as long as Nayati disappeared from the lands that had cradled her limp, near-lifeless body and breathed hope and new chances back into it. Helovia and its rulers had given her trials, and she'd overcome them. They had given her Resplendence. Surely she had done something worthy, then?

Baby. Even when Rue was born, the fact that Resplendence still deigned to call her that was like a mountain shifting in her heart. Massive, inconceivable, meaningful. And her tears came faster even as a smile burned onto her face, painful but pleasant. Her fears put to rest moments before she abandoned her mother, who had been left behind and hurt too many times already. But Resplendence had others, a support group that would hoist her high in the wake of Nayati's absence. And the flower maiden truly believed that, with all her heart. So many people saw the beauty in Resplendence. She'd never be alone, not really. No matter what the dark insidious thoughts in her head whispered to her at night.

And she was given her blessing. Nayati laughed through her tears and shook her head against her mother's breast where it still stubbornly lay. "You made me strong," she assured in a quiet, quivering whisper. "I wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for you, momma." They had started something special in that rosebush that night, and Nayati wouldn't regret it, wouldn't take it back for the world and all its treasures and powers.

It was her turn to press her sinful, blackened lips to her mother's pure tears. Brushed them away with little kisses that spoke a thousand words she could never convey on her own. "I will come back," she vowed, the strength that Resplendence saw in her rising up beneath her words, steady as bedrock. Immovable, indestructible. Leaving would only give it room to grow, and so Nayati had to leave. "I will come back to you." With a sorrowful cry, Rathunax pulled reluctantly away from Valiance, drifting down to land atop Nayati's hips, big sad brimstone eyes on Resplendence. Nayati similarly slowly began to draw away, her heart breaking to do so.

"W-Will you tell Vadim that I love him?" It was a tremulous thing, her question. "And Rue. I'm sorry I couldn't be the big sister I should have..." Nayati had to be aware that she was destroying their family, in a way. It was her fault, and she had to carry that weight with her through the gateway and away from the only little group that had cared enough to take her in and love her for more than a season or two. "I love you, momma. I'll see you again," was her last promise, tearful but sincere, and the pair turned reluctantly and made their way out of the forest. All that was left in her passing as she faded away was a singular trail of flowers.