the Rift


[OPEN] Wake me from the nothing I've be come...

Parelia Posts: 210
Outcast atk: 6 | def: 9.0 | dam: 4
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 :: 7:: Frostfall HP: 61.5 | Buff: NOVICE
Penna :: Peregrine Falcon :: None Parelia
#1

PARELIA
Honest hearts are undercover. We are shadows on our own
She hung around the meeting just long enough to make sure Areli was well taken care of before slipping away. Honey eyes glanced back once towards her kings making sure they were not going to say anymore before she left. The mason prayed nobody would follow as she tried to ease the pain within her heart. The pale dove wasn't sure it had fully sunk in yet, but already it felt as if her world were ending. How could she go on happily when her baby boy was off doing Gods know what, in the sand? For know she still had her golden filly, Areli but who knew for how much longer? Ilios was only a yearling. Did he realize how hard this was on her? 'Course he does.' Penna rested upon her scared withers preening her short mane. How is it the falcon always knew what to say? 'Thank you Penna, I love you.' 'Love you too Pare.' A small broken hearted smile touched her lips.

She needed someone to talk to, but there didn't seem to be anyone left. A tear slipped from auburn eyes as she moved deeper into her old home. It was easy, even in her foggy state, to find the most hidden reigns of the falls. She was still unsure why her leaders had not called upon her help in the invasion. She had prior knowledge of this water logged land and all of the secret paths. Maybe she could be of some use to her family anyway. Show them where everything was, explain what they falls had been like. Protected by the drunk and high, with only a handful of sane mixed in. That would all have to wait, now she just needed some time to heal and process what her life meant. 'Why don't you go and enjoy yourself for a bit? You haven't hunted in much to long.' Worry coursed through their mental bond as the bird held on firmly. "Please Penna..." Her dismal pleading tones seemed to work. With an almighty sigh the falcon took flight with some parting words he was gone. 'Just for a little. Call if need me.'

words Penna

Words; 361
Tags; @[Kaj]
Notes; SO short and awful! It will get better I promise!

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Kaj The Aurelight Posts: 381
Hidden Falls Conscript atk: 4.0 | def: 9.0 | dam: 7.5
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2hh :: 8 Years 9 Months HP: 69.5 | Buff: ENDURE
Arabella :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya Brit
#2

i see that you've come so far
to be right where you are
how old is your soul?

Parelia's expression during the meeting had sobered the newly named Czar, and he had offered her a ghost of a smile - favoritism would not sit well with the newly disorganized herd, after all. But he held it in mind throughout the close of the gathering, watching as his kin dispersed and wandered away to wherever it was they desired to go. When one or two dotted the hillside, Kaj set off across the lowermost meadow where it had been hosted, muscular form moving with a loose, militaristic precision to where he'd last glimpsed the mother.

Parelia had been a constant in his life as King, a friendly face and hard worker, a good mother and a generally happy soul. He enjoyed her company, and was loathe to admit that he did not often get to bask in it. It was simply a pleasure neither of them had the time for, when they'd occupied the Edge. Kaj had his own duties, and Parelia hers as a Glazier. But he had attended Areli's birth, and had been the one to help teach Ilios how to fly. Kaj had somehow, inexplicably become an odd little offshoot of her family. And so, her pained expression meant a lot to him, and he would not allow whatever grieved her to continue to assault her psyche.

In some way he knew that Ilios had told his mother of his plans, it was only natural after all. The boy's comment stayed within his heart, a private, somewhat shameful medallion he would allow none to gaze upon. Kaj felt conflict regarding the boy's words; Ciceron had been there at Areli's birth, and he seemed to be a good man with a kind heart and patient persona. Surely he did not deserve the kind of bitterness the boy displayed. But he was also proud, touched somewhere in his heart to know that Ilios felt like Kaj was a father to him. It was...an incredible emotion to experience, and he reveled in it despite his reservations. Was Parelia threatened by that, he wondered? Was it inappropriate somehow to be a father figure to her son, when it was her mate he was apparently pushing out of the equation?

Nevertheless as she fell beneath his warm cobalt eyes, he swallowed away the lump of uncertainty in his throat and nickered softly towards her. Kaj began advancing a little faster, weak sunlight playing patterns on his glowing muscular hide as he moved beneath the canopy. So different and beautiful from the Edge, in its own right. But a change nonetheless.

"Hello Parelia," he called on gentle tone, lips quirked into a smile and eyes crinkling at the corners with fond affection. "Are you well? I saw you at the herd meeting...I wanted to check on you." It was admitted a little shyly, uncertain that she wouldn't be offended by the action he'd taken to ensure she was okay. She was an independent soul, after all, did not need him as her crutch and attendant. "I spoke with Ilios and Areli," he murmured quietly, face falling into a more somber arrangement. "I'm sorry, Parelia. I know it must be hard. But I promised to take him, when he leaves, and I'll escort Areli home. Gaucho is a good man, and I'll see to it that your children will be safe," was vowed, earnest and sincere, voice quiet and stubborn.

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Code: Time & Neo

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Please only tag starting posts, spars, and threads collecting dust!
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Parelia Posts: 210
Outcast atk: 6 | def: 9.0 | dam: 4
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 :: 7:: Frostfall HP: 61.5 | Buff: NOVICE
Penna :: Peregrine Falcon :: None Parelia
#3

PARELIA
Honest hearts are undercover. We are shadows on our own
She had seen the wispy smile Kaj had given her, but she just couldn't muster the energy to smile back. Her mask had shattered the moment Ilios told her his plan.She knew it would heal, with time. For now there was no hiding her emotions, maybe a thin fake layer, but under closer inspection they would know. For now she was a broken dove, bound by motherly love to suffer as her baby spread his wings. 'How will we manage without him?' She knew now her son had been the glue that held the four of them together. Without Ilios they were a mother, daughter, son, and a sperm donor. Now he was gone she could see how much her love for Ciceron had died. This was the end of them, it had been from the moment he let her leave.

The sound of her name marinaded those deep dulcet tones, sent a shiver through her broken heart. She turned in time to see the look upon his face. Expecting pity his warm smile shocked her, froze her to the ground. Honey eyes met his and for a moment she felt safe, whole. Emotions she rather keep hidden poured from her eyes, tears. As the salty water slipped from hollow eyes her dome fell hoovering inches from the ground. She waited until his words stopped, carefully listening to everything he had to say. Her own tones quite were sad, but grateful, "I know you will Kaj, I have never doubted you, and I never will. Please excuse me..." She didn't mean she was leaving, or even that she wanted him to leave. The dove hoped beyond hope he would understand what she meant.

Under the cover of teal and cream forelock the girl looked up at her magnificent Czar. When his handsome features came into focus she could not hold back. In a flash she stumbled forward pressing her damp face against his powerful chest. "Oh Kaj, what am I going to do without him? He... He held us all together, now that he is gone... I feel so alone..." Tears gushed from her closed eyes pain pounding through her. Even from this distance Penna could feel the sorrow growing within his bonded once more. He would do as she had asked and stay away though. He knew she was safe with Kaj, he was a great stallion, one of the only he enjoyed being around.

Once her eyes were dry, albeit red, she pulled away mumbling apologizes. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to step over any boundaries. You just make me feel safe and..." She pulled up sharply. 'Do I really feel that way?' Even as she asked herself she heard a whisper, 'Yes.' Kaj had been there for so much, always a friendly face, even if they hadn't been able to talk for long. Turning her gaze upon the handsome man she stood quietly streaks of dampness slowly drying. What should she say, was there even anything to say? Would he scorn her if she uttered the truth? So for now she just stood quietly watching him as time ticked on.

Speaking  Penna

Words; 524
Tags; @[Kaj]
Notes;  So. Many. Feels!

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Kaj The Aurelight Posts: 381
Hidden Falls Conscript atk: 4.0 | def: 9.0 | dam: 7.5
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2hh :: 8 Years 9 Months HP: 69.5 | Buff: ENDURE
Arabella :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya Brit
#4
Kaj
the Stormbringer

It was painful to see her attempts at a smile dwindle away so quickly, to know that whatever plagued her he could not truly fix. Though his intentions were honorable, and she undoubtedly supported her son in his quests, Kaj was still helping to spirit Ilios away from her. Did she despise him for that? It was a sickening thought, and it dropped in his stomach like a stone. He braced himself for her expression, but the tears that glazed her pretty face were too hard to bear, and his own face crumpled in quiet understanding of her pain and distress.

Nodding he allowed her to turn away from him, attempt to compose herself. Kaj had met quite a few independent mares, had grown up in a world that labeled them the dominant sex, and he would not invade the privacy she so clearly sought. It would not only be inappropriate but wholly cruel, and so he waited for her stability to return, completely motionless and silent. No matter how badly he wanted to move forth, embrace her, do something to ease the suffering that was so clearly communicated to him on her expressive features.

Her faith in him, verbally declared, was all that kept him still instead of apologizing and whisking himself away. Perhaps that meant she did not despise him for aiding Ilios in his departure, did not blame him somehow for - what? Making her family more liable to fall apart at the seams? It felt as if it was his own fault somehow, and that was a painful thing to feel. He ruminated on the emotion nonetheless. If it was his fault, then he deserved to feel the shame that lingered in his breast and trailed like acid down his throat.

In a whirl she turned to him, and Kaj jolted at first but stepped forward to catch her as she stumbled blindly into his chest. Wings arced forward and up, shielding and lightly embracing her in turn as words fell like bloodied rain from her lips. Pity and sympathy welled like ocean waves in his azure eyes, gazing down at the distraught woman. "You will live. You are strong, Parelia. Just as you raised Ilios to be strong." Kaj inhaled deeply, trying to summon the right words, anything to cease her tears. Quickly he dropped his muzzle to the spot between her ears in an attempt at physical comfort. Though his wings could shield her physically, protect her privacy from those who'd judge her for her tears, he could not protect her emotionally from her own turmoil.

"You will never be alone. I promise you that. Ilios is not leaving forever, he will always be free to visit, and I am here for you as well. Ciceron and Areli, myself...we will make sure you are never lonely," he vowed, not sure what merit or weight his words held for her but speaking them nonetheless. As she retreated, Kaj let his wings do the same, summoned back to his sides as she rediscovered the inner strength he'd spoken of. The primaries of one wing flicked in errant dismissal of her apology, for she needn't utter it. Not to him.

"I'm honored, that you feel safe with me. There is no need for apologies," the Czar assured with a timid, almost boyish smile. Wherever, whenever and however she needed him, Kaj would be there. He'd somehow become tied into her family, and it would only hurt her more to forcefully extract himself from it.

OOC
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Please only tag starting posts, spars, and threads collecting dust!
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Parelia Posts: 210
Outcast atk: 6 | def: 9.0 | dam: 4
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 :: 7:: Frostfall HP: 61.5 | Buff: NOVICE
Penna :: Peregrine Falcon :: None Parelia
#5
@Kaj


PARELIA
Honest hearts are undercover. We are shadows on our own
The dove, could see the affect her turmoil was having upon him. There always seemed to be a trail of pain and tears behind her. It was hard to turn from him, even if it was better that way, better for her to gather herself up. If she could just ignite and melt the mask she was so used to back together everything would be okay. She could and would heal in time on her own, but her whole world had crumpled in what seemed like seconds. Deep in her brain the girl knew this had been coming for a long time, building to a crescendo. She had been blind. Purposely over looked the bad and embraced ever last ounce of good, set herself up to fall. This was all her fault, always was. Heaving a sigh the mare turned back to her golden king.

Seeing the worry etched upon his handsome face sent her reeling forward. She needed him, needed to feel wanted. She knew her daughter, and Ilios, loved her deeply. Knew in her heart that she was wanted, but in this moment all felt broken. His wings shot out and around her. 'Is this what loving a Pegasus feels like?' Shelter was an emotion ever primal instinct demanded, but it was hard to find. Had she finally found it with this powerful king? Sparkling eyes found his while deep vocal wrapped around the tender fragments of her heart. She was strong, had raised her boy to be strong. There was no doubt in the girl's mind that he would not lie to her. So she had done something right, had raised her boy into a fine young man. Dainty head dropped once more pressing her forehead against his massive chest. His gentle muzzle sent a jolt of feelings racing through her. Did he care like she did?

Once more he spoke the truth, words she longed to hear. Tense muscles eased as her slender frame took a more relaxed position, so did her tongue. "Thank you for everything you've done for me and my family. I love you Ka..." Her mouth shut with an audible click teeth slamming shut. 'Oh fuck...' Deep within her bond she could feel Penna laughing even as he turned towards her. She needed him now the words had been said. Within seconds the falcon landed upon her shoulders, having stuck close by. Even as the words left her mouth her hazel eyes flew wide, bulging. 'Oh Gods what have I done?!' Completely unable to move her heart raced as if she was racing over the ground. 'Oh Gods....' She could see everything she had built with Kaj exploding. It was done, it had been said. Now all the frozen mare could do was wait for his next move. Even as she chose to stand still her ears flicked back nervously.
Speaking  Penna

Words; 478
Tags;
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Kaj The Aurelight Posts: 381
Hidden Falls Conscript atk: 4.0 | def: 9.0 | dam: 7.5
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2hh :: 8 Years 9 Months HP: 69.5 | Buff: ENDURE
Arabella :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya Brit
#6
Kaj
the Stormbringer

It was not Kaj's job to tell him what to do, nor was it fair of him to try and demand she do one thing over another. He was not her keeper nor her mate, merely her Czar. Though he cared for her, he could not pressure her in ways he would Resplendence or Quilyan. There were lines that Kaj always had to be careful not to cross, no matter how he desired to or what his instincts told him. As Czar he could not become overly familiar with his subjects, could not forsake their loyalties just because he was of a different mold. Kaj could not handle their questioning, their doubts in his strength and emotional fortifications. 

So though her turning away from him was not something he desired, and though he would have wanted to see her face and know what she was thinking, he allowed her the privacy she so clearly needed to console herself. Time, distance...whatever it was she needed of him, Kaj would do his best to give her that. Confliction be damned, she was part of his herd and his family and had chosen to follow him faithfully to this new herd. He at least owed her that. 

Though it seemed at least his words still had weight and merit, for she pressed her bare forehead to his chest. If the feel of his skin could give her gravity and center once more, he'd allow her the touch for as long as she needed. It hurt to see all his family so hurt and ravaged by their own masochistic internal thoughts. Resplendence, Brisa, Aeolus, Ilios, Parelia...had he failed them somehow?

Just as he went to murmur that she did not need to thank him, her words cut off on a telling phrase. One that had Kaj's eyes widening and head craning towards her in shock. One he'd never anticipated hearing at all, likely ever. He'd lived his life sure of the fact that loneliness was the only friend and mate he'd ever have. Even the Gods had seemed to agree that his soul was not meant to be bonded, something Helovians sought almost feverishly since foalhood. Either Kaj was too wholesome, too grounded of a soul, or he was broken beyond even the repair of the immortals. 

But watching as she cut her sentence and shamefully turned her head away, he wondered if she even believed in her own words. If they were born of anything more than pure emotional catharsism. It hurt worse to imagine that she was ashamed to love him, than to think that he was incapable of being loved at all. "You can't even say it," he murmured softly, eyes pained and crinkled at the corners. "If your tongue cannot bear the weight of it, how can your heart?" And it hurt to say, to look at the love she offered and know that he was neither deserving of it nor allowed to indulge in it. Not when her confession seemed to have surprised her as much as it had Kaj. He withdrew his wing from her, wondering who was hurting worse as his heart throbbed to part from her, eyes downcast to avoid gazing upon her face. Lest he break and allow her to love him hot and evanescent, prepare himself for the image of her back retreating. 

"And Ciceron? What of him? You are mates. How can I allow myself to return your feelings, knowing I am ripping apart your family? He will hate me, thinking I planned this all the moment I was there to welcome Areli into this world." Something Kaj had certainly never done. His eyes, however, were undoubtedly moist. Shoulders hunched protectively, as if his bodily mass could finally have purpose to make a physical barrier between the world and his battered heart. Too many careless mares had kicked it into the dust, he couldn't bear for Parelia to do it again.

OOC
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Please only tag starting posts, spars, and threads collecting dust!
Plot with me here!

Parelia Posts: 210
Outcast atk: 6 | def: 9.0 | dam: 4
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 :: 7:: Frostfall HP: 61.5 | Buff: NOVICE
Penna :: Peregrine Falcon :: None Parelia
#7

PARELIA
Honest hearts are undercover. We are shadows on our own
Out of the corner of her eyes she saw him freeze, watched the panic she felt flicker over him. She longed to rush to me, wanted to rub her muzzle along his side. It was all over, he would stop her heart, would break every last feeling she had left. What was she going to do now? Would she ever be strong enough to look at him again? Maybe, but she had her doubts, very strong ones. The stood for a few moments in silence as he took in her words.

When he spoke she could almost hear her heart snap in two. Parelia the heart broken, that should be her title. Honey gaze turned to stare at him her mouth hanging open. her blood pounded the emotional pain pounding through the bond. Penna screeched his own mental agony while Parelia held her own inside. Her mask smashed once more as his harsh words and broken gaze settled in. His eyes dropped then away from her pain pounding through her heart. The dove took a step then halted as he spoke again, trying to grind her heart to dust. Penna screeched again at the renewed waves of heart break.

he words seemed to draw a resolve she had never felt before. Her lithe body drew up wings slowly unfurling from her side. Penna did the same following her lead grasping at the straws she was offering him. Liquid honey eyes softened, not to love, not to anger, and not pain. She allowed her eyes to show him how she felt, brave. "Kaj.""Kaj look at me." She stepped closer mere inches from him her body held proudly. "Kaj, I did not stop saying it because I do not feel that way. I stopped only because I was scared I thought you would laugh at me. That my feelings would chase you away, or make you laugh." She watched him calmly for a moment. "If you need me to say it again, I will, with pleasure. I love you Kaj."

She stood above his lowered head waiting for him to speak, move, anything. "I believe Ciceron would not blame you. I will talk to him, explain how it's been since I left with Ilios two years ago." Silently she thought of exactly how it was she had felt, betrayed. He had let them leave without so much as a second thought. he had picked a herd over his own flesh and blood. "Kaj, after Ilios was born and the crazy ones lived within this herd I feared for my son. I told Ciceron I was scared to have him grow up around them. I told him I wanted to leave, take him somewhere safe. He let us go. He let his own SON go!" She spat the last words anger flicking through her for a moment before she composed herself once more. "When he let me leave, I left my feelings with him. I was young and foolish then. I had never been shown the love he had given me." She allowed him a moment to think as she pulled her strong cream and teal wings in.

"Kaj, I love you. I know what love is now, and I feel it for you. Ciceron will have to understand that. I can't tell you how he will feel about you, I wish I could, but that is beyond my powers." Honey eyes softened again as she watched him a flickering flame of hope swelled in her breast. There wasn't anything else she could say to explain to him, or was there? "I swear Kaj, I know what I feel. I had such trouble with it before because..." She took a deep quavering breath, "I have not always been treated right. My parents died when I was very young, and I was taken in by a very horrible stallion. You see my scars, I speak the truth." She turned so he could see her scar covered sides. "He did unimaginable things to me when I was only months old. It broke everything I had. Every loving embrace my parents had ever given me was wiped from my memory. I didn't have the understanding of love until you. You have restored my memories, brought back the love I had hidden so deep in my brain." She allowed herself to fall silent as she watched him. This was the first time she had ever given someone so much of herself. Nobody knew her past, she had never deemed anyone strong enough, or close enough to tell. He was special to her, he meant more the her than Ciceron ever had. The dove tried to convey that to him with her emotional gaze.
Speaking  Penna

Words; 803
Tags; @Kaj
Notes; So many feels!!

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Tamme the Tempting Posts: 140
Administrator
Mare :: Other :: 2 :: 2 HP: 9001 | Buff: Admin
Tamme
#8
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