Ashamin felt satisfied when he met his mark for two reasons: firstly, it proved his aim and skill was improving; secondly, it was not an attack so violent that he feared it would harm Caleb. If nothing else, Ashamin wished to shed as little blood as possible that morning, by the lakeshore.

But the haruspex was beginning to grow uncertain as to whether or not Caleb felt the same.

The hybrid soldier did not seem too injured or hindered by Ashamin's kicks, and so the paint landed with comfortable ease. He stood for a moment, breathing in, trying to ignore the biting pain from the cut left by Caleb's horn. And he hoped, too, to offer Caleb a reprieve if he wished for one. This was no battle to the death, after all, merely a casual spar between new herdmates. Shouldn't they take a moment to appreciate the needs of the other?

Apparently, this was not something Caleb had considered. Ashamin watched, bewildered, as Caleb ran towards him as if to charge, and instinctively he stiffened and prepared to rear, to lean against the other stallion. But the maneuver was unnecessary, the instinct quickly dropped, as Caleb extended his broad wings and flapped, soaring swiftly above Ashamin. The haruspex had no time to turn and see Caleb's deft aerial tactics, he could only reposition himself and try to turn back and see where the soldier had gone.

But Caleb was nowhere to be seen, and his skillful use of Ashamin's blind spot was nearly flawless. It was only the haruspex's perception, aided by Lochan's mental warning (a flashing of an image,) that allowed Ashamin to prepare himself in the slightest.

As he heard the shuffling of feathers above him Ashamin bucked, determined and reluctant all at once. He needed to defend himself against the apparently enraged and exceedingly violent fighter that was Caleb, but he didn't wish to hurt him too badly. Though his adorned tail whipped about, perhaps striking and shocking one of Caleb's wings, he still wished the soldier no harm. Even as Ashamin's hind hooves soared through the air, their white points aimed for what he thought might have been Caleb's underbelly, he was filled with regret.

But nothing would help, then, not even if the buck was successful--not with that descent of Caleb's angled wings and that outstretch of strong, Hanoverian limbs headed straight for the haruspex's withers. The buck felt pain run through his neck and spine as Caleb's hooves pressed at the center of Ashamin's withers and mercilessly cut skin.

A small chunk of it flew, then, bit out by Caleb's force and scattering pale white hairs as a part of the flesh beneath Ashamin's mane was torn out. He neighed as he fell, his front knees landing sharply, hard, in the snow and sending shocks up his forelegs that shook him to his core. The front of those white socks would be bruised (faith, maybe even fractured) greatly, to be sure, and the blood that ran from the back of his neck would linger for days.

Slowly the Haruspex rose, trying to steady himself as his head swam and the pain sent shivers down his spine. His movement was slow but he dragged himself up and out of the rest of Caleb's line of descent, somehow managing to turn and face the hybrid.

"Calm yourself, Caleb! I'm not your enemy," Ashamin cried out to the sky before him, hoping, praying, that he could somehow quell this soldier's rage. But would it even be possible to control the anger of one who could rule the skies with such skill--one so out of reach?


 
Word Count: 611
Post Count: 2/3  
Summary: Ashamin lands in his rear and stands still, then bucks when he hears Caleb's wings above him, hoping to kick Caleb's underbelly. His tail whips blindly behind him, perhaps hitting one of Caleb's wings or some part of his front and shocking it. Because he isn't running forward Caleb's attack lands on his withers, the hooves cutting a chunk of the skin at the very base of his neck/mane and pushing him down. He falls on his front knees in the snow and his hind legs land standing after the buck. He stands and moves forward as best as he can, turning back to face Caleb and speak to him.
Notes: Whoo let's keep it going!

""  
 

 

 
ASHAMIN  

 

 
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His hooves dig into Ashamin's withers, drawing blood and pushing him to the ground, but not before he throws his legs out, hitting Caleb on his underbelly, only missing his  family jewels by a few inches. Though Ashamin's hooves did not hit Caleb's manhood, the solid kick is still painful, induces a throb equal to the previous throb that had surfaced on his left thigh, where Ashamin's forehooves had struck him. Though Caleb hadn't been lacerated, stabbed, maimed, the bruises that were quickly forming still hurt. Ashamin's hooves did not draw blood, but did manage to strip some ebony fur from where the tips of his cloven hooves dug in, exposing his ebony skin. The sting from fur being taken off and bruises forming is a most unusual sensation, the sting biting at him and the throb pulsing like a heart when it pushes blood along. Caleb uses Ashamin as a sort of push-off, pushing himself back into the air, wings unfolding as he glides forward to slowly descend back onto the ground peacefully. Once he is firmly planted on the ground once more, he spins towards where he believes Ashamin to be, to see the painted stag struggling. Pinned ears flick forwards as he shuffles closer, cautious but worried. Ashamin begins to stand and Caleb lurches backwards, recoiling away in case Ashamin attacks, his mind wired to do so, never dropping his guard. Then Ashamin's voice rips into the open air and Caleb stands still, ears twisting maniacally on his cranium to listen to Ashamin and his surroundings, to hear if Thranduil was near, listening, but to also listen to what his opponent was saying. Calm yourself, Caleb! I am not your enemy. For the first time in a long time, that was true. Ashamin wasn't an enemy, but Caleb was used to only fighting enemies, he wasn't prepared to take things nice and slow, he wanted to dive for his jugular and end this, but he couldn't. Ashamin is a brethren now, a comrade, family. This was all strange for Caleb, and he wasn't too sure of this, but he would learn with time and age. The young stallion is not all-knowing, he doesn't know this, never had anyone to really teach him. "I, uh- I..." he stuttered, not too sure on how to go about this. With each second of rest, he could feel his energy slowly start to replenish, slowly begin to feel the throbbing aches fade to just aches. The sting of hair being pulled out faded slightly too, but it was still there, the cold air dancing across the small patches of naked skin. It made that one tiny spot cold, sent chills up and down his spine. Caleb had never had a bald-spot before. "My apologies, I got.. uhm-" His eyes shift to the side for a second before shifting back to Ashamin. "a little carried away." A cheesy, apologetic, grin painted his maw as he looked at Ashamin. What now? How would he attack now? Attacking after being somewhat scolded... is excruciatingly awkward. He could hear Henrietta's barking laugh in his mind, and it just made it that much more awkward for him, and even though she would still seem silent to Ashamin and Lochan, Caleb could hear her through their connection, feel her finding humor in this foreign situation. Ashamin has made the beast stutter. The beast never stutters. "I'll calm down now." He nods, furthering his point. His cheesy grin fades as he tries to get back into a pumped, less angry, sparring mood. As calmly, coolly, and collectedly as possible, Caleb simply tries to walk up to Ashamin, nothing but a simple walk. He tries to get very close, to get as close as two lovers in the Grove would. He said he would tone it down, and he has- too much. With Caleb it's all or nothing, a most unfortunate trait most younglings carry, Caleb is not immune to youth, and thus, he is only has the extremes. Hoping he is close enough, he slowly, albeit awkwardly, moves his snout outwards, trying to reach for Ashamin's right shoulder (Ashamin's left). His mouth slowly opens, and everything moves quickly from calm to heated once again as Caleb's jaw searches for Ashamin's shoulder, to latch on and tear skin from it- to rip his dual-toned fur from his Wise One skeleton. Could Caleb have been more obvious? No, he couldn't have, but perhaps he was too obvious. Will Ashamin think he was giving a sort of apologetic gesture than feel lied to when he feels Caleb's teeth dig into him, or will he see it all coming and duck away? A most peculiar predicament.  "blah blah blah." ooc attack 3/3 784 wc caleb takes a hit to the underbelly, causes bruises and very small sections of hair to be stripped away. then proceeds to somewhat apologize and becomes very obvious with his attack, moving towards ashamin head-on and slowly reaching for ashamin's shoulder than in a burst of energy trying to bite it (side note: caleb's such a dork xD <33)

     

 

 

The haruspex watched Caleb land on the snowy earth. The scene was almost serene, and in that instant he was almost able to forget about the searing pain between his withers and the hot blood that trickled along his shoulder.

Somehow, his voice had carried enough authority to shame the new soldier, that much was clear. Ashamin didn't smirk, simply because smirking wasn't something Ashamin ever really did, but he did smile slightly. Just one corner of his lip raised, but it was enough. And when Caleb began to approach--shifting from a rapid dash in the skies to a gentle, slow walk--The haruspex let his eyes soften. So the younger stallion was learning, then. So Ashamin was making a difference.

The paint's whole body ached with Caleb's last attack, and so for a moment he stood utterly still. The idea behind the statuesque stance was perhaps that without movement, there could be no pain. But Ashamin knew this to be false, and as his bruised knees started to wobble and his cuts started to sting, he knew the tactic was useless. Besides, Caleb was coming closer.

Though there were many things Ashamin could have said to answer Caleb, he only nodded. At times, he could return to the self in him that had felt too unsure to ever speak a word. Now he was sure, he was certain and confident, but he was still scared of the effect he'd apparently had on the hybrid. So quickly had the badger boy diminished his flame that it had almost worried the haruspex.

So Ashamin only nodded, for fear of what else his words might change. And when Caleb drew close enough that an attack grew likely, the painted wise one set off at a loping trot with a gait slowed by the effects of Caleb's aerial attack. Still, Ashamin was able to move quickly enough that Caleb's bite only grabbed hold of his right flank for a moment. Though he winced at the foreshadowing of a bruise to come, Ashamin pressed on.

Somehow, he felt more energized than before. Perhaps it was the warrior's spirit, running through his veins and dulling the pain in his forelegs and withers. Perhaps it was the fact that he'd managed to calm Caleb down in an instant, as if he had power.

As Ashamin swung his head wildly to the right, reaching out to bite at Caleb's croup in the same place his hooves had landed before, he thought about that power. What was it to garner so much respect that you could alter the tactics of an experienced fighter in an instant? How, and when, had he gotten to a point in his life where he held that much influence?

Caleb was new, that was all it was, he said to himself. So many others would have ignored his remark, then, and fought with the same blindness as before. But was that really true? Ashamin's ears drew back at the thought and the closing of his jaw. Maybe he was important, for once. Maybe, he was doing something right.

Silently, Lochan cheered his bonded on.
 
Word Count: 520
Post Count: 3/3  
Summary: Ashamin begins to trot forward so that Caleb's bite grabs his flank instead of his shoulder--it leaves a decent bruise. Ashamin tries to bite at Caleb's croup while trotting, in the same place where he kicked him before, in hopes that it will send Caleb running past him and end the fight. The last gesture is somewhat scolding.
Notes: I was still confused about which shoulder Caleb was going for, I reread it a bunch, but I went with right shoulder cause that was what you said first. Great spar! Thanks for doing this with me, Bay. :)

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ASHAMIN  

 

 
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As Caleb's eager snout moves towards Ashamin's right shoulder, the painted stallion seems to sense something is happening, perhaps he can see the excited twitch of Caleb's nostrils, or the flutter of his ivory eyelids. Ashamin darts forward so Caleb's teeth don't land on a shoulder, but a right flank. Ashamin's action to prevent Caleb's teeth from causing damage on his shoulder is successful and Ashamin's shoulder is spared. Caleb's teeth only find flank and grip hard, his jaw clamps with all force possible, but it does less damage than the brute was hoping for. Caleb's saliva-stricken teeth cannot find enough of a grip on Ashamin's right flank, and the painted boy's silky hide slips through his bite. The blood thirsty Caleb is dismayed he couldn't draw forth the crimson liquid, but he is at the same time content, knowing that if he had, Ashamin would have scolded him further. Still, a huge part of him hoped he could've torn Ashamin's skin off, could've made him bleed so that every time the cut ripped open, Ashamin would think of Caleb, that he isn't a thing to be messed with, but a strong warrior. He wanted to prove to Thranduil that no one deserves Caleb's fear, that they would learn to respect him the hard way or the easy way.  Ashamin continues to run straight, moving past Caleb in a parallel manner. At first, Caleb thinks that Ashamin will continue, then kick out at Caleb with his hind legs, but he doesn't. He swings his head to the right, jaw wide, lips searching for skin. The hybrid swings his hind end away, but it is not enough. Ashamin's teeth grab Caleb's thigh, exactly where bruises have formed from being kicked. The already throbbing bruise screams with pain under the pressure of Ashamin's bite, pulsating with equal pain as to when it was given. Caleb's ears pin once more as he bucks, shaking Ashamin's jaw off of his bruised thigh. He clamors forwards, rushing to get away from Ashamin. Once he has taken four or five canter strides, he halts and spins around to face where the attack happened, believing that Ashamin's attack is a good place to stop, that their training spar was plenty for today. As the adrenaline begins to wear off, Caleb becomes aware of the extensive bruising dotting his dark skin, everything aching with weariness from exertion. Caleb's tail is calm behind him, resting lifelessly on the ground like a dead snake, his wings are relaxed at his sides, and his head doesn't rise so highly anymore, but hangs slightly lower. He is tired, sated, but he'll be back tomorrow, patrolling for this new herd, perhaps sparing more for training, teaching other herd members. Perhaps the general and corporals will teach this young two year old more tactics. After-all, it is clear Caleb needs to learn more.. like what a friendly spar means. As for now, he just hopes he's made some sort of name for himself here. Henrietta barks on the sidelines and moves towards her master, glad that the fighting is over. The pup hates to see Caleb get hurt, even if it is just bruises. Caleb's head dips further in respect to Ashamin, a higher ranked, more influential member of the Basin. It reads as, this was a good spar, you did well. Even though Caleb might've gotten more serious knocks on Ashamin, he knows Ashamin should not be underestimated, that he has much warrior potential. Perhaps he even has a few tricks up his sleeves that he could show Caleb. Any new ways of attacking or defending would be gratefully learned by the hybrid, warrior, prodigy. "blah blah blah." ooc: closing defense 1/1 - 615 words sorry for shoulder confusion, you were right, I just messed up the parenthesis part, my baddd x: Ashamin's bite lands on his bruised thigh, the pressure against the bruise is painful, causing it to throb again (double bruised? XD). Great spar! It was lots of fun :D

         

 
CALEB
Realism [1.5]
No mention of breeds/surroundings/previous experience except for surroundings in post one. These can be very crucial components to a spar, so please use the word count to your advantage to add these things in!

Post one: ”If Ashamin turns to spin around and run, Caleb will continue his galloping approach and shove his horn into his ass cheek and give the thing another asshole.” – This statement has a few issues. Firstly, this is going beyond this post, and merges into slight powerplay, by predicting what the other character will do. Your posts should be a response to what the other character already has done, or attacking/defending in the current time. While it is not uncommon for warriors to predict what their opponent will do next, the way this is phrased does not make me think this is what Caleb is doing.
 
Post Two: “If he halts and stops moving, Caleb may very well end up landing on his withers, or if he moves up, Caleb may end up on his croup (that is, if he is aimed properly at all)” – You continue to use this form of powerplay. Try to just write what you want your attack to do, and let your opponent interpret that on their own with the dice roll. 
 
Post Three: Ashamin’s attack in this post should have done more damage to Caleb than his previous attack, for it was a 4 roll versus a 3 roll. 

 
Emotion [2]
You are very good at explaining Caleb's psychology, but I did not really /feel/ him in this spar. It is interesting to read, however, Caleb's posts. He starts out happy to be fighting a Basiner, and doesn't want to hurt him too much, then all of a sudden switching to wanting to kill Ashamin. You wrap this up all together as the spar goes on by explaining Caleb's youth as the reasoning for this behavior, but I still don't feel it--I just see it. 

 
Prose [2]
Post one: “martial arts fight” – "martial arts fights"
:: “that is in far from cautionary” – Remove “in”
:: “that it is not surprising he hasn't become stone” – “that it is surprising…”
:: “or his head is he doesn't.” – “or his head if he doesn’t”


Post Three: “Ashamin's right shoulder (Ashamin's left)” – Did you mean (Caleb’s left)?
:: “apologetic gesture than feel lied” – Then, not than.

 
Readability [1]
Your posts are not so easy to read. I found myself re-reading each post more than once to completely understand everything that was happening. You use a great deal of run-on sentences and sentence fragments, which when used well can improve prose and style, were really a hindrance here. Be sure to proof-read your posts before publishing them--even reading them aloud will help.
 
Finally tally: 38+(6.5*2)= 51 HP
 
 
ASHAMIN
Realism [3]
In your first post you do a good job of incoorporating Ashamin's previous spar experience with Torleik and Zandora. You also have good use of the breed/stat differences and the surroundings in this post. However, those things fall away as the spar goes on. I warn you to stay away from fracturing/breaking bones, because that is very dangerous to horse's survival! 

You seem to have a good understanding of the mechanics of fighting, and I look forward to watching you improve with practice.
 

Emotion [2]
Ashamin is very present in this spar. Ashamin’s response in paragraph one of post one is simply beautiful.  Ashamin does not want to hurt Caleb too badly, and I love that he recognizes how his attacks will fall regarding this internal drive. With this, I love how taken aback he is by Caleb's assaults, and how he calls out to him to calm down. Ashamin is a beautifully written, introspective character that keeps tugging at me to keep reading. I love his thoughts, and how they progress and change, during the spar.
 

Prose [3]
Post one: “sparring partner is was troublesome” – “sparring partner it was troublesome”


Readability [2.5]
Your posts are easy to follow, understand, and are enjoyable to read. You know Ashamin well, and that helps your writing flow. This is a great style of writing for this type of character.
 
Finally tally: 31+(10.5*2) =  52 HP