the Rift


a daughter's worth. [zenobia vs. gaucho]

Zenobia Posts: 61
Absent Abyss atk: 3.5 | def: 8 | dam: 6.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 15.0 :: 5 years HP: 64 | Buff: NOVICE
Athvadar :: Albino Grey Wolf :: None Semper
#1
The Sun's rule reigned clear as the ball of fire began to peak through the darkness. Grey skies were turning a magnificent, blazing orange as dawn arrived. The lands paid homage to the beautiful masterpiece as the waters mimicked the view overhead. A fiery illusion began to take shape as the surface of the water danced with the orange hues. Soon the whole area embraced the flaming mirage. It was almost too bright: not a single cloud being presence to offer protection from the sun.

In a way it was fitting. I was here to prove my worth to my father, my family, and the patron of my herd. With nothing blocking the sun's way my lord's vision would not be obscured. As if he would watch a simple battle of a vagabond daughter seeking to prove herself in the eyes of her father. If he was gazing down it was to watch my father. Back in the Dragon's Throat already and I already felt Pa's shadow creeping up on me. Somehow, someway I had to make a name for myself. One that wasn't simply "Zenobia the First Born of Gaucho the Wildfire." Not to mention that would be an incredibly long title to give out.

My petite frame near shook with anticipation. Cloaked in a thick bear's hide I stood waiting. My preparations were done. I remained invisible to the eye as I had discovered, upon touching a clasp on the newly acquired set of armor, it was enchanted with magical properties. Properties that shielded the wearer from watchful eyes.

Naturally I wasn't completely absent from the world: it was not as if I had turned into a ghost. I could still be felt, heard, and smelled in proper conditions. To mask my exact location I had arrived to the battlefield early, before the sun even rose. If one entered they would smell the scent of Zenobia on practically everything, which was reasonable considering I did my best to make sure my trail wrapped around this way and that.

With bated breath I waited on the soft white sands of the flats. At any moment he could arrive and my muscles knew this. They were as tensed as a coil ready to spring at any moment. It was a risky maneuver as stealth was not my strong suit. I was a warrior yet here I was hiding from plain sight. I wondered if he would frown upon this discovery. As a warrior I should be facing things head on, but I also knew that strategy was a key ingredient.

I was no longer a foolish young child. If I flew directly at Gaucho the Wildfire I would be swatted away like an annoying insect. Legend spoke of how he was undefeated in battle and I believed that to be the truth. My father was like no other warrior I had faced. Any advantage, even if it was fit more for a conniving weasel, was welcomed with open arms. I was not expecting to win. Honestly, my defeat was quickly approaching. However I swore that I would prove myself to him and that is what I planned to do. I would match him blow for blow and keep fighting until my legs buckled beneath my battered body.

The waking song of birds filled my ears and I knew he would descend upon this land soon. He had said we would battle in the morning and I knew him to be punctual. In fact, I feared he might already be here. It was a possibility. While I had thoroughly checked the surroundings there was no telling if he had seen the way the water moved when my wings beat over them as I was prepping the stage. All I could do was trust in myself and the fighting prowess I knew I carried. The Gods may have built me from the mold of my mother but my heart blazed with the undying fire of a warrior.

Silently and motionlessly I waited on the northern border of the lands. Come, Ave. Let me prove to you my worth and show you how much I've grown. At the end of the day I just wanted to make him proud. While this match met much to my honor and pride as a warrior, seeing him smile at me would also be a favorable outcome. After so many seasons of wandering I wished to take my place back at his side so that I may protect my big, growing family.

Let's do this.

"Speech."

attack 0/3
summary having arrived far earlier than the sun, zenobia prepped the battle stage whilst invisible in her new enchanted armor. she brushed across the land so that her scent may linger in as many places as possible before positioning herself on the northern borders of the land, trying to keep as quiet and motionless as possible. hopes to either ambush her father or trick him with this setup.
ooc this is also set to be a training spar for me <3
tags @Gaucho

Image Credits
[Image: 573ea2c04723f]
please tag Zenobia in all replies!
magic & force is permitted, excluding death or permanent injury.
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#2

She was right, Gaucho was punctual.

The Wildfire had risen with the Sun. He had never been afforded the opportunity to spar with any of his children before, and today presented him with just that gift. A welcomed anticipation had stirred from what little sleep he required just as dawn was buffeting over the bloody sands of their home. His daughter had come home, and now she wanted to train with him. There were few moments in life that Gaucho had committed to memory. One particular day in the Oasis with Ampere ... the day on the Island and the day on the beach, were all such instances that his mind was unable to take off of 'recently played'. They were ingrained in him, and were as apart of him as the markings that his darkened pelt bore. In similar accord, however the events of today unfolded, Gaucho would know them all by heart. 

Rising off of the auburn sands, Gaucho made his way towards the Halycon Flats. His flaming wings and large body against the clear sky would likely give his position away - but Gaucho was not concerned. His might was not being tested today, Zenobia's was. And although Gaucho did not plan to go easy on his daughter, he was not here to test her, merely to train her. 

As his larger body scoured the skies, he let his eyes roam the reflective lands below. In his minds-eye he could see the battle that was waged here only a few weeks prior. How the crocodile had hidden in plain sight, yet how the rest of them, accompanied by the God of the Sun, had been triumphant. As this image bled away, he realized that Zeno was no where to be seen. His mind was not fully on his daughter, however. Although he had complete confidence in his deity, he wondered if it wasn't possible that another God lingered invisibly in these lands. The other crocodile had showed itself almost instantly, attacking when the Sun God was near. Was it possible that another, more patient beast still hid in the golden land below?

Uncertain, Gaucho glided lower. Closer to the sands now, he could smell his daughter seemingly everywhere. Mara slithered forward in his antlers, her tongue scenting the air as they swiftly flew. Sssssshee wassss here, the snake hissed into his mind, confirming what Gaucho already knew. But where now? He silently wondered back, although his mind was already beginning to draw a conclusion. Gaucho knew that his child had recently stolen armor, but had no idea what magical properties it had. And so, rather than believing his child to be the one waiting invisibly on the sands below, he instead thought it was another God, who had perhaps murdered his child, waiting on the sands below. The Wildfire's ears pinned against his skull as he took the only course of action that he thought would be effective. The Sun God hadn't even been able to see the previous crocodile until it had been wounded and its camouflage was dropped - and so Gaucho didn't bother looking. 

Last time he had rained fire down from the skies with success. This time would be no different. 

"COME OUT. I KNOW YOU HERE." He roared tauntingly, as he unleashed fire before him. Sweeping upwards, he changed direction, releasing another wave of fire - and then another, and another - constantly swerving in the skies to try and maximize the amount of land his flames would touch. If the beast was hiding down there, he would find it.

His primitive system had no time for worry or anxiety over what might have happened to Zeno. Easily he compartmentalized his problems, focusing solely on eliminating the threat. Adrenaline and fury flooded his system, as he landed in a bright blur of flames. The previous crocodile could not fly - and if he wanted to draw it out, being on the ground might be one way to facilitate that. 


WC: 661
Attack: 1/3
Summary: FIRE EVERYWHERE CAUSE GAUCHO THINKS A MONSTER ATE HIS KID.
Throws fire everywhere then lands. 

 


Image Credits
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Zenobia Posts: 61
Absent Abyss atk: 3.5 | def: 8 | dam: 6.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 15.0 :: 5 years HP: 64 | Buff: NOVICE
Athvadar :: Albino Grey Wolf :: None Semper
#3
Punctual as ever his hulking form flew over the Halcyon Flats. I marveled at his reflection cast upon the water's surface. His muscular form was massive compared to my more petite frame. Watching him in action as he patrolled the area rekindled that little child in me who wanted nothing more than to watch and memorize his every move. However, I reminded myself, I was grown now. I would be able to accomplish my own feats, albeit hardly as impressive as his.

All thoughts dissipated as his thundering words resonated through my very core. A shiver ran along my spine. His roar sounded so angry and taunting. Unfortunately, it wasn't even the playful taunting. My heart skipped a beat as wave after wave of thoughts crashed into my brain. My actions could easily be considered cowardice for a spar between warriors. Tactics were great on the real battlefield but to try to set up an ambush on another herd member was another thing.

My gut wrenched and I felt sick. Any ideas of getting the upper hand and surprising him were gone. His words repeated in my head on repeat, causing it to instinctively lower in shame. He was disappointed in me. The whole point of this spar had been to make my biggest role model proud of me and I had managed to do the exact opposite. Would he cast me aside now? Or even worse: would he strip me of my warrior title and make me shrivel away in the shadows that spies lurked in?

Little time was given for me to worry about my fate and my warrior status. Bright flickering embers in the skies above drew my attention to what was happening around me rather than the thoughts that acted as weights attached to my skull. It didn't take long for these sparks of embers to erupt into scorching flames that lived up to his title. Hellfire rained down on the flats and I had little time to react. All I could do was seal my eyes shut before my vision could be burned away as I could feel parts of it melting against my spine.

There was no suppressing the shriek that came out of my mouth. I couldn't even describe the pain that caused my body to writhe. Flames consumed my exposed areas with ravenous hunger. My head, my pole, my lower croup: agonizing burning sensations branched out from those main areas. The thick fur of the bear's coat did little to protect me as I could smell it burning. Fire reached through the armor and I could feel parts of it melting into my skin, the metal pieces brandishing my skin.

The unfathomable pain that seeped under the layers of my skin caused my body to stand still in shock. It was only when the rancid smell of burning hair (my hair, I reminded myself) did I move into action. I threw my body down to the ground. A thin veil of water lapped at my sides as I desperately rolled and thrashed in the water. The cool liquid would be capable of relieving my wounds, but I did not have the time needed to soak them. Not only was it easy to spot the pool that was being disrupted by my movements but a clasp of the armor was touched as I rolled about. I became painstakingly aware of my limbs returning to their usual opaque appearance.

Revealed to the world and my father's wrath, all I could do was stand on shaky limbs. I could already feel the blisters begin to form. Maybe I hadn't grown and was still the delicate little foal. As I gazed upon my father, though, I could feel a different fire ignited. I pushed myself into action: starting at a slow gait before building up speed as fast as my injured form could. Despite the pain my wings began to beat, charred feathers falling off with each swing. I began to ascend as I neared my father's now standing frame.

The distance was beginning to close and I prepared to try to dig my hooves into his rump (maybe even hit him a few times with my wing strokes). Hopefully, this would propel me upwards and I would be able to catch an updraft created by the thermal heat. I needed to get into the air and above him.

I promised my Pa I would show him my acquired skills. Already I had disappointed him but I had to prove I was capable of protecting our family despite my absence. The passion in my veins could do little to ease the physical pain, but I could feel a steel resolve settling in. I was a warrior, dammit, and I was not going down without a fight.

"Speech."

words 800/800
attack 1/3
summary thinks she upset her dad due to her sneaky tactics.

suffers second-degree burns from the raining fire on her head, upper neck, and lower croup. while the thick fur protects her spine and other parts of her main body, the metal parts of her armor end up brandishing her due to the heat. feathers become charred as does her mane and tail. blisters are already beginning to form as the skin beneath her hair was damaged.

while she tries to roll in the water for temporary relief she causes herself to become visible to the eye.

she struggles to stand and, wanting desperately to prove herself, she begins to race towards her father, albeit her movements are hindered by the burns. she begins to ascend as she runs so that she can hopefully reach his rump and shove her hooves (and potentially batter him with her flapping wings) into him as an attempted springboard in order to catch a thermal vent caused by the fire. tries to get above him and into the air.

ooc ahh sorry this is so long. had to cut off a paragraph to get the word limit.. ^^" i hope this sounds okay! omg so excited and nervous eep!
tags @Gaucho

Image Credits
[Image: 573ea2c04723f]
please tag Zenobia in all replies!
magic & force is permitted, excluding death or permanent injury.
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#4


A scream caught Gaucho's attention, and for one shimmering moment he thought he had subdued the creature. His mind briefly imagined dropping the carcass in front of the Sun God - not out of pride - but out of a continued desire to protect his family and all that the Sun God held dear.

It was Mara who interrupted these thoughts, hissing and shaking her head violently no. gggirrll sssssscream she whispered into his mind. Gaucho's ears flickered forward, as if trying to physically hear the sound from his memory. A chill ran through his core as the girlish tones replayed in his brain.

Either the monster was very small, female, and badly wounded or..

Zeno.

Gaucho watched his flames dissipate. Although he was not much of an optimist, as he watched a puddle dance with an unseen body, he hoped that he might see scaled legs begin to appear. But he did not, as he knew that he wouldn't. Hooves appeared first, now that they were out from the cloak. Soon after, as Zeno rolled over the clasp that held her new item to her lithe body, he saw his own daughter flailing to put out his flames. The Wildfire's teeth clenched together in his jaw. Not because of the pain caused to his child, but because his senses had been so radically deceived. In that, he was truly proud of Zeno. It was clear now, why her scent was on everything - why her hoof prints littered the ground - and yet she remained hidden from view. She had tricked him - and it was that notion which caused the displeasure on the Wildfire's masculine features.

But it didn't last. 

Yes, the Sultan had been tricked - but that it was his daughter who tricked him, washed away his feelings of frustration. Pride instead took its place, even as Zeno shakily began to make her way towards him. She had miscalculated the strength of her Father, even when blinded to her position, but none the less she had played off of his weakness - his desire to protect, and in that she was successful. 

Still, this was a spar and although his initial attack had been more or less misguided, there was no reason that a poor start should necessitate a poor finish.

Through a steely gaze, Gaucho watched as Zeno rose into the air. He was surprised that she tried to use flight against him - although she was likely more nimble in the air, he would be considerably faster than she, and was without injury at this point. Why not just run at him? Ahhh, but then the tactics of the young are what contribute to so-called beginners luck. The unexpected and unanticipated are always their strengths. But today, she had used up all of her luck already.

With a grunt and with Mara's mental amusement ringing like bells in his mind, the Wildfire surged forward. His long black limbs pulled him easily across the sands - a landscape similar enough to the Throat that he had no problem with traction. The Wildfire rose swiftly into the air, just as his daughter darted down towards the ground, where his hulking form had been seconds ago.

"Big targets not always easy to hit!" He called over his shoulder as his ever-burning wings carried him higher into the sky. Banking in a wide and slow arc, the Wildfire brought his body around to try and face his child's ascent. If she wanted this to be an aerial battle, she would quickly learn that it would be much harder to catch him here.

With a low and amused hiss, Mara bit the corner of Gaucho's ear to spill enough blood to awaken one of the other magics that lingered in his soul. Smoke billowed from his antlers, immediately forming into 5 eagle-shapes. With talons and eyes of fire, the flaming birds darted towards Zeno. They spread out, trying to come at her in a wide array so that they would be harder to evade, regardless of which direction Zeno turned. As they did so, Gaucho rose higher into the sky, trying to position himself above Zeno, with the sun just to the side of himself. His intent was that when she looked to find him to try and retaliate, she would be sun-blinded and disoriented.

Vorsa, bored by the fighting, darted after the faux-eagles, hoping that they would play with her.





WC: 733
Attack: 2/3
Summary: Zeno's attack misses. Gaucho flies into the air, sends 5 eagles of fire after Zeno, and positions himself next to the Sun to be harder to spot.

 

Teaching Notes

I LOVE how you set this up. That she thought Gaucho was upset with her was MARVELOUS and I think it really ties in well with the relationship that they're forming. It felt entirely natural that she would be like, "Oh shit, why did I do it like this" in the face of his yelling! SO GOOD.

I don't think there were any major grammatical or spelling errors either - so awesome!

I found the amount of damage you took + how it was taken a little unrealistic. Gaucho rolled Damage: 1d6 rolled for a total of: 2 + 8 - the most damage Gaucho can do is 14 and the least is 9. So rolling a 10, for Gaucho, is actually on the lower side of what he's capable of (for 'average' characters without all of the buffs, the range is usually 6ish-12ish). So the fact that you took a HUGE amount of damage, seemed unrealistic for what was actually rolled. Also, the fact that Zeno just stood there instead of running away, or trying to fly above the flames, also seemed unrealistic. You sort of wrote that she was shell-shocked and so maybe that accounts for standing still but ultimately I think that her natural reflexes would have kicked in, and she would have ran. So in the future, be sure to consider how much damage you ought to take, and how to realistically take it. Because if you roll a 10 damage, and then a 15, it makes sense for the '15' injury to obviously be worse. But since you took this 10 so extreme, it's going to be weird if he rolls higher and you aren't 'as hurt' because you overdid this one.

When I write spar posts, often I'll get to my actual attack and have like... 150 words left. It's the worst. But really try to make sure that your attacks are clear. For instance - were you flying directly towards Gaucho? If so, it doesn't seem clear to me why you would attack his rump - that would mean flying over his head (where Mara could bite you), dipping down to kick him, and then flying away. Or if you were coming from behind, then make sure you say that!

Just things to work on! Overall things are awesome!!

Also for what it's worth, in regular spars (basically anything that is not a challenge) you do not need to include 'damage taken' or a summary. Lots of people include summaries to make it easier, but judges will literally never look at these. If it wasn't clear in your post, then it doesn't count. Same with damage - if how and where you were injured isn't clear in your post, you can't 'make up for it' by including a summary. But like I said, lots of people include these to be helpful, but they aren't needed if you don't want to do them :P
Image Credits
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Zenobia Posts: 61
Absent Abyss atk: 3.5 | def: 8 | dam: 6.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 15.0 :: 5 years HP: 64 | Buff: NOVICE
Athvadar :: Albino Grey Wolf :: None Semper
#5
When you fought with a brain too swarmed by thoughts to focus on the battle, the result was going to be miserable. In a very impressive fashion my hooves missed their intended targets: I was left kicking at the air like a fool. "Big targets not always easy to hit!" His words rang true. I couldn't just charge at an opponent, especially when that opponent carried the name of "Gaucho the Wildfire". Dammit. I had to clear my head and focus.

If only that was as easily done as said.

My eyes settled on his ascending form. All of these thoughts, these damned thoughts, had to leave if I wanted to have a chance to redeem my horrendous start. There was still time to make up for my deeds, I tried to tell myself. After all, Gaucho had always been a warrior at heart: if I succeeded in displaying my prowess than maybe he would forget his anger.

Shit. Smoke swirled around the Wildfire's gifted antlers. My muscles strained as I tried to get higher. This could not be good, a sentiment which was soon proven as flaming eagles rose from the ashes like a phoenix would. I didn't know if they could only move in one direction or not, but I knew my best bet was to get above them. If I could then surely their heat would help carry me upwards.

I raced toward them, wings carry me at an angle. Rushing towards the eagles was a risky maneuver, but if I could use them for my own benefit it would be worth it. The eagles' eyes blazed with a hot fire that made my skin shriek. They already knew the flame's touch and did not wish to experience it again. All around me they began to spread, only urging me forward.

Thump, thump, thumpity, thump. Sporadic heart beats caused discomfort to settle in my chest. I was pushing myself too hard, I knew this, but I had to. Closer and closer the fire consumed birds of prey became. My gaze kept steadily on one, albeit my peripheral vision wary of the others. Each beat of my wing had a sense of near desperation as I tried to get above the bird, because there was no way I could weave through their formation.

Unfortunately, I was too slow, my movements too sluggish from the burns that chewed through my skin. My upper half managed to get above one of the hazardous magical birds, but my lower half did not fair as well. Direct impact was made with my front legs with the embers soon spreading to my exposed underbelly.

I screeched as my senses were temporarily overwhelmed by the excruciating pain. Wings expanded as a rush of heat was released from the collision: perhaps the only good thing to come out of this. I did not have to struggle so much to remain aloft. I rode the thermal, allowing myself a quick breather. My heart still beat out of rhythm and my skin still screamed, but for a moment I could rest as I was naturally carried higher and higher.

When I tried to peek up at my father the sun's harsh rays threatened to burn my vision away. Angled my body became as one wing stretched towards the sky and the other towards the ground. As I glided through the air my upper wing blocked out enough of the sun so that I could get a glimpse of his large frame.

Wings beat against the air, luckily unharmed from the flames, as my angled body began to swoop in a large loop. Towards the ground my body dropped until my wings expanded, catching the wind and bringing me upwards. I did not know where my father was, only where he had been. My ears strained to hear his wings as my nose struggled to catch his scent carried by the wind. As I looped through the air, I stopped on what would be my father's upper left side. Or, it was the last time I had managed to catch a glimpse of him. I prayed that I was higher than him now.

I dared opening my eyes despite the sun's powerful rays. My wings folded and I began to drop. Again I listened for any sound of him before kicking downwards with all four hooves, screeching as burning pain shot through my stomach. I continued to allow myself to freefall until I was closer to the ground, where I would begin to open my wings and try to land if nothing intercepted me.

My landing was atrocious, my weight swaying like a leaf in a tornado, but at least I managed to stay standing. My body could no longer handle the rigorous flight. I was left grounded.

"Speech."

words 800/800
attack 2/3
summary tries to fly over to flaming eagle so that she can ride the hot air it releases. she manages to be carried by the thermal it created.. after she was BBQ'd. angles herself before looping and trying to kick at her dad. then drops like a sack of potatoes and

ooc ohh. thank you so much, odd. i was thinking that the scale was 0-10. i'll try to keep that into account. also, didn't realize summaries didn't have to be that long. other sites they had to xD i hope this one is better, although i struggled with it ;-;

tags @Gaucho

Image Credits
[Image: 573ea2c04723f]
please tag Zenobia in all replies!
magic & force is permitted, excluding death or permanent injury.

Blu the Bootyful Posts: 443
Administrator atk: 99 | def: 99 | dam: 99
Mare :: Other :: 5'7" :: 25 HP: 99999 | Buff: TWERK
Blu
#6
Gaucho defaults to Zenobia. Zenobia earns 0.5 VP. No teaching bonus awarded.
 HP: 1100

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