Ashamin pulled himself away from conflict with impatient pain. His whole body ached and his heart beat too quickly to listen to attentively. He needed to focus, he needed to step back, he needed to calm down...

The fight was over, that much was clear. She did not parry and he did not press on, whatever sudden conflagration had occurred was now to cease with horrible gut wrenching quiet. And there was never really quiet, either--the silence was occupied by labored breathing, the ticking of his mind as he tried to piece together her words.

Why did he think he knew her?

His temper, surprising and new, still burned but it was already beginning to die. "At the battle of the Blood Falls, you fought against us. Regardless of your intentions, you and your magic harmed many. It was nothing short of sacrilege and betrayal, as far as I am concerned. Tonight you attacked me without honor, hiding in the shadows. If not for the luck of that charm," he said with a vague gesture to the shattered parts of the amulet behind him on the rotunda floor, "How long would you have struck out at me from afar, staying out of reach?"

The question did not bite. It was genuine. But it was hurt, too. There was something disgusting at the thought of his standing confused in the shadows, being struck over and over by an unseen force. Was that really a fair challenge or just abuse?

"I don't know you. I did not say I did. I'd have to understand you to know you, and I don't understand a single damn thing that you've done that I've ever seen. And if I weren't a Haruspex I'd have run from this and kicked you as I went, but I'm staying here and I'm talking to you because it's my job to try and understand you. " His eyes, black pits, burned with an unseen need. He had much to say, perhaps to put off the listening.

It was his job to know her, to understand her, to understand as much as he could. But right now he really did want to run and kick her as he went. He wanted to go home and lick his wounds, wanted to hide in the familiar shadows of his cave. He wanted to be where Lochan was waiting for him, back home. This place, this company, was the last thing he wanted.

But it was exactly what he needed.

""

"You are not so all seeing as you might believe," Ashamin said with a bitter downturn of the lips. For she was wrong, not he. At least in one way, she was wrong. "Your waterfall reached more than the bear. The injured and brave, too, were awash in its force."

He listened, after that correction. For the ground had been wet with first blood but also her magic. To deny the impact she may have had was foolish and irresponsible. But then again, he hadn't expected someone as quick to betray and attack from the dark to be particularly brimming with integrity.

The judgement that flowed from her then was not unexpected. She seemed bitter and distasteful. She appeared callous and perhaps, well, simply thick in the head. Position in relation to a light source? By God, did the mare not understand the slightest hint of subtlety and metaphor? Yes, she had literally been in the shadow, but so had he. Everything was in shadow, even now. "I can see that we have different values. I was taught by a brave warrior that to fight is to fight with honour--to protect. At the battle of the Blood Falls I and many others perceived a threat. One shown to us by our God, the one who has protected this land for so long. Not a beast that drooled poison and bled fire from its veins. That spread sickness and brought chaos into piece."

Ashamin searched for her gaze in the shadow. He was not cowardly here, he had only confidence. Confidence that this mare was not, as far as he was quickly becoming concerned, worth her words. "I and many others fought to protect Helovia from that threat. And when I fought you I did not fight the formal challenger I had asked for, but the enemy that from all I could tell was a cosmic force--an ambush that I would never be able to touch. To find that the one who was too cowardly to protect the land that cradles her was the same as that force was not a surprise." His tail twisted at his back--his heart began to pound again as it had in their spar. Just hearing her pathetic excuses was enough to make him wish to fight again.

"You are wrong again, too. I used my title only so that you understand what a god can do for a mortal in this land, because clearly you do not," he then added. The irony was something he would perhaps never discover. The hatred still burned too hot to consider that a mare who had defended a false god from the rift might know something of Helovia's own lore--might even be born in to it. "I am 'disgruntled' because of your actions. I am still here because of the same God you did not trust. Perhaps you didn't hurt him, I'm not sure you even could, but you stood on the wrong side that day, and I will not sit here and hear you justify your mistake."

The answer to his question grew clearer as the shadows around them seemed to unfurl. The night was deeper but calmer; the haruspex's heart grew dim. "Yes, I have called you dishonourable. If you wish to prove me wrong, I will not stop you. If you were not dishonourable before, if you are not now... I will give you another chance." He looked away as he spoke but snapped back to her figure when the sentence turned down. Was it jealousy that he felt? Jealousy for her certainty? She may have been utterly wrong, but she believed at least that she was completely in the right. And though Ashamin was not swayed by her flimsy defense, he still had his own reasons to doubt the events of that day--reasons beyond and far better than this mare's apparent unfeeling. He dug a hoof into the ground as pain bore upon him again and thought of anything other than the fear that he was wrong.

"Stop philosophizing. We are all simple, mortal creatures here in the eyes of the Gods, whether you believe in their power or not. Just answer the question I asked of you, and perhaps you can prove yourself honorable yet."

Should she refuse, he already knew the fastest way home.

""

He was listening, he really was. But at a certain point her words just felt like this to the Haruspex:

Psychobabble psychobabble we are cosmic forces I am great and you are not and that is that.

Ashamin was tired. If it weren't just his body dragging him down, her words weighed heavy on his mind. He was so sure of himself, but so was she. Something about her certainty shook his own. And though he had been prepared to leave at the moment she admitted her poor listening skills--asked him what question?--he found himself wondering if that was really the right choice. It would accomplish his goal of escaping this infuriating mare's lecturing and allow him some sleep and rest, perhaps even a chance to be healed. For his sake, it was a better decision. But for that of his reputation, and of this mare's opinion of him which still, still he could not shake wanting to be positive, he knew he had to stay.

When at last she stopped speaking, he did not rush to an answer as before. He had said what he would keep saying. This dialogue would go no further on this track.

"If it would please you, you have won," he said tiredly but without judgement. His long, snaked tail flopped uselessly to the earth. Slowly, he began to walk past her and to the water. "You are right, perhaps all are brave in some ways. Perhaps that made even you brave, I am sure there are different definitions of the word and it is not my place to say yours is untrue."

It was pride that he was swallowing, but also the faint trace of blood from biting his tongue. Whatever it took, he would be the better beast here. "But you have not heard my question, and I do not wish to repeat it. I don't believe it would do us any good now. Things spoken in anger should not be said when the storm has passed, so please..." Ashamin looked back at her from where he stood, hooves in the water and legs shaking from a combination of cold and the sudden crash of pain on his weak form "...let this rest. Perhaps another time I could engage with you, but I know now from what I have said that nothing of value will come from this. At this time I will learn nothing more than I may already have, and I don't believe that you will, either. I would rather we put this evening to a quiet truce."

Ashamin looked down at the water; his battered reflection and the faint red tracks of blood on its dark surface stared back through impatient ripples. That battle-hearted animal hated these concessions, this willingness to retire into quiet. But sometimes these things had to be done. If this was not for his own sake, then let it be for the stubborn mare's.

A sigh escaped him and he realized, as he tried to pull it back into his electric heart, how much it hurt to breathe. "Besides, don't you think we have done enough damage already?"

""