Kaj The Aurelight Posts: 381
| Hidden Falls Conscript atk: 4.0 | def: 9.0 | dam: 7.5 |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2hh :: 8 Years 9 Months HP: 69.5 | Buff: ENDURE |
|
Arabella :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya
Brit |
the aurelight
He ran, like the coward he was, tail between legs and heart thundering a chorus of pain back at him. He was broken, lost, scattered to the four winds with nowhere to go and nothing to turn to. A love he couldn't hope to return, a heart broken a thousand times too many. A beast lingering in his bones, insidious and concentrated like acid that ate away at his control. He flew, maniacal, helpless. What was he supposed to do? His mind was torn apart, snarling dogs that flew at each other, rabid and furious as they sought to tear each other apart. He couldn't think, he couldn't think, gods damn it he couldn't think!
The answer lay just out of reach, and he was flying recklessly, skimming treetops and banking hard, pushing his body until it foamed and frothed. There had to be an answer. There had to be a way. A way to become and remain the leader the Falls deserved, the man that Brisa deserved. A way to overcome what had broken and defeated him. But he could fight no harder, what else could he do? Where else could he turn? How could he forget all that had happened to him, when it had done so much to develop him?
Forget.
It nearly struck him from the sky, a partial memory from ages ago, a distant voice that he'd hardly paid attention to. A time when the Edge had been his crown and lifeblood. It echoed into his head, a sick sort of salvation in a time when he needed it most.
"I can... block memories, should anyone feel it to be absolutely necessary... for any reason."
Miykael.
Kaj is fueled by desperation, by broken love and failure. But he can feel it, can sense the end of all of this. A single man the answer to the demons that plague him. And he focuses upon it like a drowning man, as intense as he knows how to be. Climbs high over the canopy of the Falls, roars the healer's name over the sound of the water.
"MIYKAEL!"
Hovers in the air a few moments more, for any eyes - for specific eyes - to see where he lingers. Dives through the canopy, breaking errant branches that snap against his hide where they should sting but do not. He can't feel them for all the adrenaline in his veins, the determination. If he cannot be the man Brisa wants, the leader the Falls needs...he will become that man. He will revert to a time when he still had purpose and power. He will reverse the clock the only way he knows how.
He will forget.
Image Credits
@Miykael
credit bronzehalo
Please only tag starting posts, spars, and threads collecting dust!
Plot with me here!
| Outcast |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17hh :: 11 :: Birdsong |
|
Eliana :: Common Zephyr :: Roc
Rottie |
|
After the chaos at the Riptide Isles ended, Miykael had returned home to the Falls for a much needed break. He is finally cleared of the painful foreign diseases and, if the Earth God is to be believed (and he has no reason to disbelieve him), all of Helovia is free of them as well. So he finally allows himself to have some guilt-free down time. He rests, without leaving the comfort of the Falls but he is always alert. Always searching for anyone in need of help, as is his way. It's second nature, habitual - one that will, someday, run him into the ground.
For a time, everything seemed quiet. Peaceful. Everyone, it seemed, was taking advantage of the sudden lull around Helovia to relax. Instead of accepting it and settling into complacency, he couldn't help but to feel a hint of anxiety swelling deep within his chest. It's too peaceful. Too quiet. Call him a pessimist but this can't and won't last. Miykael is simply biding his time, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Little did he know that some of that peace would be broken this day as he wanders through the trees of his home.
Eliana notices Kaj first. The dark bird had been perched near the tree tops outside of the Falls when the czar came roaring past, flying erratically close to the tree tops. The starry zephyr startles from her perch, diving down into the trees. She soars, agile and quick; weaving through the trees with expert precision. Her pale, silver eyes seek out her bonded and once she pinpoints his golden figure wandering amongst the trees, she moves in to land abruptly upon his withers. Her talons dig into his flesh and her heart throbs almost frantically in her chest. 'Kaj.' she speaks in his mind, her concern clear. 'Not right.' and her final words make him frown.
That's when Kaj yells his name, his voice booming - perhaps to be heard above the roaring of the waterfalls or perhaps to be heard regardless of his position. Either way, the stallion shifts abruptly and his pale blue gaze finds the czar hovering just above the trees. Within moments, Kaj barrels his way down - snapping branches along the way. Concerned, Miykael moves towards him, his gaze looking him over, assessing any damages that might need healing. "Kaj, sir. What's wrong?" he asks, as he brings his blue eyes back to the czar's face. "Where's the fire?" and though the second question is very lightly tinged with humor, he doesn't smile. He merely watches, worry creasing his brow.
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before? |
|
Image Credits
![[Image: mikey_by_moonstone_designs-d9dgnba.png]](http://orig02.deviantart.net/51ca/f/2015/290/e/5/mikey_by_moonstone_designs-d9dgnba.png)
icon base: Bronzehalo :: from Nickel <3
permission for all except death and dismemberment.
** please tag miykael in replies **
replies slow? check here for status updates.
Kaj The Aurelight Posts: 381
| Hidden Falls Conscript atk: 4.0 | def: 9.0 | dam: 7.5 |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2hh :: 8 Years 9 Months HP: 69.5 | Buff: ENDURE |
|
Arabella :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya
Brit |
the aurelight
In his frenzy he is both mindless and narrowed down into a singular goal, existing for each breath and step and heartbeat that brings him closer to what he needs so badly in order to continue on. That Miykael was close had never occurred to him, so blinded was he by his own fervent desires. A twisted, convoluted, archaic desire. To be the best, to die in flames and gore with glory to his name. He has failed his people, and the weight of that realization sits like an endless weight across his shoulders. In time - perhaps even in moments - he will be rid of it. Kaj will finally remember how to breathe, beyond the raw and infected chasms in his heart that Helovia had lashed into his organs. He would rebuild himself into former stone, because nobody wanted what Helovia had made him over time. Perhaps it was a cowardly way out, but as he saw Miykael striding towards him with worry etching his handsome face, Kaj couldn't find himself caring. He was already a coward, what more could this one thing do to him?
The Czar turns, striding disjointedly towards Miykael, shoulder hitching stiff and screaming but eyes blazing like angelic grace burning out in supernova. Heavenly fire and wrath, wielding celestial blade and burning his wings to ash in one last bid for salvation. Even in his downfall he is glowing, the Aurelight, gleaming and endless in his mortality. Staring down upon Miykael, the keeper of his future and guardian of his past. Throws himself down upon his blade, guides Miykael's hand to the hilt, and waits for the twist.
The words don't register, not really, dim and muted in his primordial brain. "When I was new King of the Edge, you offered a service. A magical service. That you could block chosen memories for an individual." He knew he wasn't mistaken but his soul still screamed at the idea that the magic could have somehow died out in Miykael, that Kaj would be left with nothing but dull shards of the magnificent beast he used to be, awaiting his exile from a land that clearly did not need him as he was.
"I need you to do that for me. I will tell you every memory you need, but...Miykael, it is an extensive job, and I need you to trust me. I need to trust you," he stresses, and his heart is pounding in his ears. Fight or flight, instinct and preservation. How could he trust a man he hardly knew? When it was his last chance, his final hope. Miykael's integrity of character was all he could rely on. He did not know how the magic worked, if Miykael would see each memory before he blocked them, even in glimpses. But he would hold all of Kaj's secrets and weaknesses in his hands, both during and after the experiment. Kaj could only hope that when it was all over, when he had forgotten all that had broken and bruised him, that he would not care what it was that Miykael remembered.
"Please," he pleads, voice low and broken, a desperate man with electric fire in his eyes and resignation in his heart.
Image Credits
credit bronzehalo
Please only tag starting posts, spars, and threads collecting dust!
Plot with me here!
| Outcast |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17hh :: 11 :: Birdsong |
|
Eliana :: Common Zephyr :: Roc
Rottie |
|
This isn't what he was expecting at all. He'd been expecting physical wounds or someone too wounded to return home. Something urgent that required his healing services but, to be fair, he wasn't used to anyone shouting his name. Resplendence was always the first they went to, the first they called. Perhaps things have changed since his attempt to eradicate the foreign diseases but the truth is, it just didn't matter. Why he is being summoned instead of one of the other healers is of little consequence. The simple act of being called for is all it takes to pull him away from any and all previous activities. Each and every one of his senses immediately shifts to searching for Kaj. Based on shout alone, the healer would never find him - the voice had been loud enough and at just the right location that he could only marginally narrow down the Czar's position. He finds him through sight first but as soon as his hooves touch ground, Miykael's gaze focuses entirely on examining him - like a doctor searching for the source of a patient's distress.
He is nothing short of puzzled when he finds no obvious signs of significant physical trauma. From all the fuss he almost expected to see heavy bleeding or broken bones. Instead, the Czar moves almost clumsily - likely a side effect of barreling through the trees to land nearest to Miykael. The injury itself doesn't appear to need immediate medical treatment so he holds back, his blue orbs shifting to Kaj's face - curious yet concerned.
Yet as the Czar begins to speak, his curiosity wanes and he can feel his heart sinking in his chest. Miykael had only mentioned that particular magic once (and he almost hadn't, even then). He had been relieved when no one took him up on it, so much so he almost forgot he'd mentioned it in the first place. Perhaps, he thought, it was simply his imagination; that he hadn't really divulged his ability to block memories. But as Kaj speaks, the memories slam home, leaving his soul to cringe. The magic had worked out so well for Aly, after all. It worked so well that mere words had been able to tear down the walls he'd built (walls that had been up for years, mind you). He hesitates, even as Kaj pauses. His lips seemingly frozen, preventing him from responding so the healer merely nods his affirmation. The magic stills exists, still flows through his veins though he is quite hesitant to use it.
And then, just as he allowed himself to hope, the words he least wanted to hear fall from the Czar's lips. 'I need you to do that for me.' he's saying but they almost don't register with him. Suddenly his ears are buzzing, shifting the man's words from clear to mumbled. "I..." he murmurs as Kaj falls silent, his own shock at the request left unhidden upon his face as his heart throbs uncomfortably within his chest. He is silent for a moment, blue gaze holding steady on Kaj's face but not truly seeing the stallion. Everything seems to go unregistered, until the stallion forcefully shakes his head; successfully pulling him out of his own shocked stupor. "Of course I trust you, Kaj, but are you certain?" His concern is far from baseless - the reversal had all but destroyed Alysanne - but Kaj isn't the painted mare. Kaj is the one making the request. 'Please,' the Czar begs, and in an instant Miykael's resolve falters. "We can take this slow... one memory at a time." he responds softly, gently with a faint reassuring smile curving his lips. "Show me." he says more firmly, though his voice still holds his typical gentleness. After a moment, he steps closer and closes his eyes. In an instant, Miykael is reaching for the Czar's mind - hoping against all hope that this wouldn't all end in disaster.
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before? |
|
Image Credits
icon base: Bronzehalo :: from Nickel <3
permission for all except death and dismemberment.
** please tag miykael in replies **
replies slow? check here for status updates.
Kaj The Aurelight Posts: 381
| Hidden Falls Conscript atk: 4.0 | def: 9.0 | dam: 7.5 |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2hh :: 8 Years 9 Months HP: 69.5 | Buff: ENDURE |
|
Arabella :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya
Brit |
the aurelight
At first, with how Miykael's face shuttered and convulsed upon itself, Kaj thought he would be denied. That he would finally find an answer, come all this way, only to have salvation barred against him. This was all that could save him, he was sure of it. He needed Miykael to see that, to understand that Kaj was on his last legs. There was nowhere else to turn, nothing else he could conceive of doing. One way or another, he would get rid of those memories, and not all the options were pretty. Miykael, at least, he could trust. Somehow. He had to, he would do anything to fix this. To fix himself. And he wondered a little hysterically whether Resplendence was stronger than him, to bear her own burden, or if she'd simply never thought of doing what Kaj was doing right then. Maybe he'd ask her, though with how conflicted Miykael looked, he wondered if it was kind of him to even be standing here begging him to use a magic he clearly was not comfortable remembering much less using.
Kaj wondered if he'd get to the point where he'd demand Miykael do it, as his Czar, should he become desperate enough. It was a sobering, sickening thought.
Except finally, right as Kaj grew restless and desperate, Miykael capitulated. If he were not so desperate, he would have felt a stronger wave of guilt. He was forcing the healer's hand, as it were, and Kaj never wanted to make him feel so uncomfortable. But this was something that had to be done, not only for the good of himself but for the good of the herd and those he loved. Certainty held no place here, though it did exist somewhere in the clasp of his ribs and the fading echo of his heart. It didn't matter, not when Miykael was agreeing, stepping closer with a look of concentration and resignation upon his pale face.
"Thank you," shuddered out of Kaj's mouth, his entire body trembling mightily, legs shivering even as the tremors faded. It was like a prayer, ripped from his throat and deposited before Miykael, an offering. "Thank you, Miykael." It was barely a whisper, baby blue eyes slipping closed and body going lax with relief. It was so close he could taste it, he just needed to live through the memories one more time. Just once, and he could be free of them. Completely free.
With little hesitation the dark one reached out to brush her maw against Kaj's taut shoulder in greeting, knowing him to be a loyal fellow with strong morals and a solid heart. It was admirable, the manner in which he lived his life, and she was glad to have him in her ranks. She faded away, blurred and hidden, her valor, beauty, and wiles unwinding like woven strands. And Mirage's kindness, the mixed feelings she'd inspired in his heart that day, also blurred into nothingness.
"Kahlua, I believe I heard your name was?" And she fades away like broken hearts and wish-dust, and if his mind trembles like fingers jerking and trying to take it back...only Miykael will know his weakness.
Before he can think it over he acts on his joy, moving to her shoulder to drape a wing over her spine and curl cheek over her neck to hug her close the best he can. Dancing away again, he cannot find the strength to stop smiling. "Thank you, Kahlua, I will treasure it forever. I have never received a gift before. I cannot thank you enough." But she reappears again and again, painted face and bright, pretty eyes. Eyes that dulled with each new memory, a bitterness overtaking her gentle heart, a sadness that he helped foster in her breast. One she returned tenfold upon himself.
Some of them he whispers to Miykael as he brings them up like faded movies in his head, wanting only to cut out certain parts, individuals. Rescuing Kahlua in the underground cavern, though he leaves Resplendence, and Quilyan's aid in killing the stallion. The rest he filters through, waiting until they fade and he is quizzical once more before he moves on. Quilyan asking him in quiet tenor what ailed him, his own breakdown during that event. Kahlua's attempt to leave Helovia, and himself stopping her. For a moment he thinks of letting memories of Quilyan slip away, but he cannot. Not entirely. But he does let the memory of himself asking Quilyan what love felt like fade away, too hurt by the connection to Kahlua.
Even Alysanne faded away, her pretty face twisted with hatred too hard an image to bear. And he could be a coward, here, with only Miykael as his witness. He didn't have to judge himself, could get rid of the memories no matter the level of pain they caused it. It was freeing, even while they tackled the multitude of his memories together. A long, daunting process.
Promoting Aurelia, the closeness of he and Kahlua in that moment. And his response to Aurelia's challenge of Kahlua, of Alysanne, though he keeps Semira and Archibald where they belong rightfully in his memories. His first long evening with Evangeline, with his worried heart. He thrusts the memory of Kahlua's confession of love towards Miykael with a prolonged whine of pain that escapes his maw into the physical world, for he cannot forget it faster than Miykael can block it, surely. It is...odd, how he feels when it is gone. Puzzled by the remaining memories he has yet to proffer, but...far more at peace than before. But they are far from done, and he wonders if Miykael will judge him for everything he sees in Kaj's head, the muted words and the blood and tears. After all this, the healer would likely know more about Kaj than any other in the world. Even himself, in the end.
And they start another round, after a period of rest.
Kaj running to Evangeline after Kahlua's confession. Kaj trying to confess his own love to Kahlua only for her to cruelly, coldly, shut him down. And a tear slips down his cheek as he goes through the mental reel of his and Kahlua's fight, when she had turned up pregnant in the Edge with the Earth God's child. Feels as if a boulder has been released from his shoulders when it fades and disappears in his memory, leaving only the vow he'd made. A vow he would keep, for Isopia meant far too much to him to turn away that kind of memory.
The others are both easier and harder, as Kahlua begins to fade away bit by bit in his memories. Thor's accusations after his fight with Thranduil. Thor's judgment and Mirage's return. He cannot bring himself to forget Cirrus, and so he leaves her there, wild and beautiful in a time when he'd once been happy, though he folds the memory inside his palms a few times in contemplation of it all. Parelia's confession. His outburst at Tandavi when faced with Lace's death.
And finally, the root of it all. The reason he'd broken, the straw upon the camel's back - Brisa. He'd done this in some small way for and because of her, but as he holds the memory of his falling in love with her, his own confession...he wonders what he should do. She deserves better than him, is all he can remember. So shouldn't he erase that, too? With a mental shrug he does, offering one last memory up to Miykael though neither of them physically move.
And then at last, it's all over.
Image Credits
credit bronzehalo
Please only tag starting posts, spars, and threads collecting dust!
Plot with me here!
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