Life was not kind. Life was not fair. And sometimes life was not worth living.

The worst moment of Alleo's life was realizing that he'd failed his youngest sister, Hana, and that he was failing Lakota and Rasta. He had promised that he would keep the both of them safe and he had failed continuously to do that. He had promised Rasta that he wouldn't hurt her, but then he'd turned and fought against her family when his sister helped invade the Falls and then  he disappeared. While his disappearance wasn't without a reason or a purpose he still left without saying anything to Rasta or to his sister. He just left. He wandered and he searched because he had it in his mind that he needed to find Hana. He needed to bring her back to the Falls, back to their family where he could keep an eye on her and Lakota and protect the both of them when they needed it. She needed to be there when Lakota gave birth to her first child, because he'd seen the swell of Lakota's stomach even though he'd kept his distance and had never said anything to her.

But she was nowhere to be found in Helovia.

So he left. He slipped out of the Threshold in the cover of night and he searched until he finally found her, but he was already too late. Her body was was broken, her blood staining the ground red, and what was left of her soul had been slipping away. He'd laid beside her on the ground, the white of his coat being stained by the crimson of her blood, but he didn't care. He cradled his baby sister's broken body against his. He whispered to her that he loved her and that he was sorry he hadn't been there to protect her. Her asked her who had hurt her and she whispered brokenly to him, the descriptions of stallions that he knew. He made her promise him that she would meet him on the other side when he could finally join her and when she finally slipped away he continued to lay with her until her body was like ice against his own.

Only then did he rise, and when he did he hunted.

Alleo found them only a few hours later and when he did he attacked. The rage that he felt, the grief was mind numbing. He fought and he killed mercilessly and the blood of the stallions that had murdered his baby sister was added to the crimson of her own that turned his white coat to rust.

His coat was still stained red as he slipped back into Helovia's borders. The expression on his face was grim as he made his way toward the Falls, to Lakota and Rasta and a niece or nephew he had yet to meet. He still didn't know how he would tell her that their sister had died, how she'd been murdered by a band of stallions from their home. He didn't know how to explain to Rasta where he had gone and what he'd done because he couldn't lie. She would know. She would smell the blood and the sweat and he was sure she'd be able to sense the grief and anger that still boiled his blood.

As he stepped into the Hidden Falls territory he only felt a sense of dread because he would not be able to avoid the reunion that was coming and he knew it. He just hoped that he was strong enough to break the news to Lakota and accept whatever anger and disappointment Rasta would throw at him for his disappearance.

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As fate would have it, Alleo had very little time to prepare himself for a face to face meeting with Rasta. She was right there as he crossed the border and he could only imagine that she was leaving to go somewhere. For as long as he'd known the mare she'd never been one to sit still. She was always moving, always traveling, always making him wonder where she was going or when she would be back and he'd always waited for her. He wondered if she was leaving to look for him or if she was leaving because she was tired of waiting, but he couldn't make himself ask the question as she came closer. He could scarcely make himself breathe as he watched her.

"You're alive."

Yes. Yes, he was still alive, but he would rather his body have been found in the middle of the woods than his sister's. He would have rathered suffer and bleed to death than his sister. It was several long moments before he finally spoke. "...yeah." But there was a tremor in his voice, one that if Rasta were as perceptive as he remembered her to be would pick up on. She would know something was horribly wrong, which honestly went without saying considering he was covered in blood and sweat. He was a stallion that was meticulous with his hygiene and was never dirty, but he had not been able to bring himself to wash Hana's blood from his coat. It was all he had left of his baby sister.

"...I'm sorry." He said and he struggled to hide the tremor in his voice and the defeat in his tone. He'd failed. He'd failed her, he'd failedLakota, he'd failed Hana, he'd failed himself, and he'd failed his grandmother. He didn't know how much more he could handle, how many more failures could be saddled with before he cracked and fell apart. "Are you leaving?"

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"...Thought you were dead this time..."

He heard her whisper and it drew a sigh from him. He closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at her when he whispered back "...I wish I was." because he was tired. He was tired of fighting, tired of caring, tired of loving, and tired of failing everyone that depended on him. His eyes opened when he felt the slight weight of Rasta's companion and he turned his head enough to watch the bird. He didn't have the energy to greet the falcon, just like he didn't have the energy to rush to Rasta and fold her into an embrace that he wondered if she needed just as much as he did.

He remained quiet as she answered his question, claiming that she was building up courage to leave the borders again. Had she needed to build up courage the countless times before that she'd slipped past the borders and left him wondering about her whereabouts and her well-being? He did not voice that particular opinion, but simply grunted because he didn't feel like arguing with her or opening old wounds while his new ones were still festering and bleeding. "I see." He finally muttered as she offered more of an explanation, but he said little more. What was there to say? What was there to do?

"What did you do? The blood?"

Alleo had known that the question would be coming, but he still flinched as if he'd been physically struck. "I..." He thought back to right after the invasion when he admitted to her that he was a killer and he was tasked with protecting his sisters. She'd told him he wasn't a mindless drone, yet there he was still trying to do what he'd been born to do and failing. "My sister, Lakota... I saw that she was pregnant and I knew that she would want our other sister, Hana, to be there when she finally gave birth
." He started off. "So I left to find her... I found her body, Rasta. I found her slaughtered by the same warriors that I had fought with at home. They killed her to get to me. Its my fault that she's dead. My fault." His body had begun to shake as he spoke, but he pressed on. "I followed them." He said quietly. "I hunted them down. I killed them."

And now he was back, but he was far from being finished. He still had to tell Lakota that their sister was dead.



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