the Rift


[PRIVATE] stay in the dark—

Enna Posts: 172
Aurora Basin Time Mender atk: 6 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4
Mare :: Unicorn :: 14.1 :: 5 ( TALLSUN ) HP: 61 | Buff: NOVICE
Mehr :: Arctic Wolf :: None kels
#1
if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
THEN I WILL FOLLOW YOU IN TO THE DARK


It is only as the form of a man that you once knew catches your attention, pulls you from a haze, that you realize what had brought you down from your mountain, lured you away from your solitude, your misery still shackled to you like chains. Only as his scent becomes poignant, too obvious to ignore, that you catch a glimpse of his face do tangible memories begin to stab through the fog of your mind. In your instantaneous reaction, you charge towards him, turning pointedly in to him, forcing his steps to stop with what little mass you possess in comparison to his towering frame, chin tucking as antlers press in to the flesh of his chest, his skin forming a tiny crater beneath the pressure of each tine. For a long moment you wait, every fiber of your being taught beneath mahogany skin, itching to make him bleed, to just lean forwards and take from him that which he doesn’t even deserve. For a long moment you remain still, breathing against him, against the tension that grows within your chest, the anger that rages like an ocean storm, graceless, unhindered in its fury.

It pounds against your skull, growing steadily in to a roar until your blood boils and your eyes flutter, your head finally snapping away from him, turning from the bloodlust, your thirst for revenge, that had threatened to make you forget yourself, should you just give in. After moments of silence (moments that you do not dare to count as the tension of your body slowly dissipates, becomes nothing), your head lifts towards his, that same bold, bare anger sharpening the curves of your too-feminine face. “Did you honestly believe I would have let you just walk away with her, let you steal from me my only—let you continue to breathe—“ For all of your anger, all of the words that sit clustered on your pointed tongue, your voice falls short, quivering beneath the weight of it all: of the last fleeting images of her before her body was swallowed by the earth, taken from you only once more; of the bittersweet memories of him, the something that has been lost to you somewhere in the months that had passed like a blur, between all of your self-loathing and fear. “You are,”

Are what? A bastard? A waste of that life that he leads, of space, of meaning, of everything (nothing) that he (does, will always) means to you? Even you in all of your hurt, all of your hatred, are not so cruel as to say these things. “You were,” Your lips purse, mind desperately clawing for the flame of anger, the betrayal and savagery that you had possessed, that he had shown you, even as you feel yourself crumble beneath that gaze, at the feet of everything he is. You know that you cannot stay so angry for forever, despite wanting to; despite wanting to see him hurt for all of the terrible things that he had done. Know that you cannot hate him, not with all the will in the world. It is this that becomes clearer as your resolve burns away, leaving nothing but the ruin of your misguided sense of vengeance. “You were supposed to love me, Mis.” A soft sob escapes you, brows furrowing as you fight to cling to the strength to keep his gaze, so that he might see the wounds that he has left upon your heart, so that you might understand.

“You were supposed to love me; how could you want to hurt me so?”



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@Misael


please tag enna in every post
violence permitted barring permanent injury / death

Misael Posts: 97
Outcast atk: 5 | def: 9 | dam: 6.5
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.3 HH :: 7 years HP: 69 | Buff: NOVICE
Lazarus :: Melanistic Lion :: None ShadowMare
#2
Let me in
I'll show you how the world really is



He had been fine. He had prospered. He had almost forgotten who he had become on a certain day in certain hours. Until he saw her. The pearls of her orbs struck him, the hate, the despair that he had caused, echoing in each pale strand. He stood still, muscles tensing and coiling as he merely stood like a deer in moonlit, two-color, headlights. He did not move as she charged, did not breath as her neck bent and the threats of her antlers became all to real, did not speak as words did not come, did not dare to come, as the spokes of her crown dug into the blues of his chest. The moments passed by slow, his heart speeding up underneath cold layers. His gaze remained upon her body, the body that was once swelled with a child. A child. A child that he had stolen and dropped. The memories stung his eyes, how could he have been so cruel? so despicable?

Jealously.

It would never be an excuse. Miseal was a man too fierce of protection, too fierce of heart, to love. He did not know what love was, but all he knew was that Enna deserved someone who did. His inexperience had broken a family, had broken himself, and had broken her. He could never forgive himself. He never would.

Air seeped between them as Enna broke once more due to him, the feeling, the threat of her antlers still blooming in his chest. He did not scold her for attacking him, but rather allowed himself to be her punching bag. His golden eyes clashed with hers, her glare sharp enough to cut diamonds and hearts. It was a good thing he didn't have one(if you had done what he had done, you wouldn't think you had one either.) Enna's words soaked within him, orbs blinking as he swallowed the urges to be angry. "Then why am I still breathing Enna? Why did you let me walk away? --why did I break?" He asked, eyes watering as he realized all to quickly the answer.

Because I love her.

I will always love her.

All he could do was look into those eyes, scarred and torn but nothing else but him. Their eyes shared frays, but this wasn't about him, this was about her. He wanted to fix them, no matter how long it took, he would be the needle and thread. But would she let him? Feeling as if he knew the answer, he did not touch her, didn't allow himself to hold her even though everything inside him just wanted to wrap her up in his embrace.  

“You were supposed to love me; how could you want to hurt me so?”

Miseal looked away then, unable to peer anymore into those eyes that had once laughed at his flirts, glowed under his touch, that once lived. He pinched his eyes closed, his heart chest swelling and clenching as the broken shards of Enna cut deep into him. He grasped at words, to fearful that he was going to say the wrong ones and that she was going to leave him.

That Enna, his Enna, would be gone. Forever.

"I never wanted to." He started, looking at her then as a single tear rolled from his golden eyes. "I was blinded by my jealously, the jealously that you love someone else, that is not me." Could he say it? Could he confess his love for the maiden in brown, even though it would mean nothing to her now?

"When I just wanted you to love me because I-I loved you" He whispered, chords bare, raw, broken.

"And I still do. I always will."

[color=#bd9a89]"Talk?"

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Enna Posts: 172
Aurora Basin Time Mender atk: 6 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4
Mare :: Unicorn :: 14.1 :: 5 ( TALLSUN ) HP: 61 | Buff: NOVICE
Mehr :: Arctic Wolf :: None kels
#3
if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
THEN I WILL FOLLOW YOU IN TO THE DARK


“Why?” Your brows furrow, an annoyance sparking in your chest at the utter validity of the question, if only because you had not expected it. You do not have an answer for him, even as you clutch desperately to those sparks, nothing but sorrow comes to you. “Because I—she… she,“ was already gone, never to come back to me. You blink harshly against the day, fighting back the tears that brim your eyes, uncomfortably hot, uncomfortably vulnerable, in the face of your Sun. But you will not give to him, will not crumble, refuse to break, to let him know just how much he means to you still. He does not deserve it, does not deserve you, your withering love. “Do you want me to say that I would miss you? Is that what you want, for me to need you? To hear that I wouldn’t be able to bear losing you to something other than your mind, that I would have looked at you, only to see the nothingness of death staring back, and I would have regretted it?” The words are spat like venom, heated and angry and hurt, the tears that brimmed your eyes finally falling heavily, another sob racking your body as your walls come down, knowing just how much it would hurt him, wanting that release, to make him bleed for every wrong that he has(nt) done.

“Maybe once.” It is a double-edged sword, and for everything you throw at him it cuts you just as deep, slicing through the remnants of what had once been something beautiful between the two of you, something to be treasured, something that he has simply thrown away. “You took that choice from me, Mis.” You croak, shaking your head, looking anywhere, anywhere but his face, where too many truths may lay hidden. “For running when you should have stayed, for touching her—“ Your words turn in to a snarl, teeth clamping together audibly. “For touching her, for seeking to cause pain when it should have been comfort,” Your face lifts towards him again, though your eyes do not search for his, too afraid, always too afraid. “You are as good as dead to me anymore.”  ‘I never wanted to.’ You nearly scoff at his words, your eyes rolling in their sockets as you actually look at him for the first time in too long, his face turned from you, something like regret notched all over it. For just a moment your feverish upset breaks, concern for him washing the taste of disgust from your mouth. Your body rocks forward out of habit, seeking to comfort him, but your limbs are stone, and as he speaks, your heart follows suite. ‘…that you love someone else, that is not me.”“I don’t—“

But you cannot even finish the sentence, finding yourself suddenly short of breath, too stunned to hold on to any one thought. Is that what he saw, between a grieving mother and a man, a man that means all too much between, without, all of those little things that he has done? “I,” I don’t love him, I don’t—I—love him, I love him. You gasp against the tightness in your chest, fight to breathe, as the realization sinks in, as the pieces click and it feels so right, so right and so, so wrong. It breathes new life into your fear, stamps out the last embers of your strength to fight it. You had almost forgotten the man that stands before you, almost, until he shatters your illusion, pulls you from your proverbial (storm)cloud. ‘When I just wanted you to love me because I loved you.’ You can only blink stupidly at him, trying your best to understand. ‘I still do. I always will.’  It had never been a question of why the two of you were so close; it had always just been. You need(ed) him, want(ed) him, and you had thought that it was reciprocated, that it was enough for him for it to just be without adding words that only have the capability to fuck everything over, without adding feelings that only have the capability to turn caustic.

It had always been enough for you, but as he says it, says those words that you have been dying to hear, offers you freely what you have longed for (from another), you can only stare, writhe in the pain that it is to hear them come from his lips. As he says it (and you had hope that you heard wrong, hoped that he didn’t mean it, had said anything, anything but the words that he mutters, chokes on), you flinch, because you do not have the heart to tell him. Why? You do not have the heart to tell him that you do not love him. Need him, want him, miss him when he is not around, yes, maybe once, but never love. You do not possess the strength to tell him that for all of your anger, all of the backlash you have given him, his jealousy is worthy. That, despite all of your denial, he is right: your heart does, will always, belong to him, to a boy with his summer eyes, his terribly sweet smile. Why. You demand again, and again your voice wavers, shaking before his heart’s nakedness.

It is in this moment that your heart trembles, because for everything that he is, all of his love, you feel nothing.



image credits


@Misael


please tag enna in every post
violence permitted barring permanent injury / death

Misael Posts: 97
Outcast atk: 5 | def: 9 | dam: 6.5
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.3 HH :: 7 years HP: 69 | Buff: NOVICE
Lazarus :: Melanistic Lion :: None ShadowMare
#4
Let me in
I'll show you how the world really is



It was over. He had realized all to quickly that he was fighting a battle that already had a pre-determined win. His time here, his time with her was over. All he knew now was to turn to leave, to walk away from a living reminder of everything evil inside of him, a living reminder of his failure. He could not fight for her anymore, not when the odds were so stacked against him. Not when a antlered man offered all the things she needed, when Miseal only destroyed everything in his wake. Enna did not need him in her life, even if she forgave him, Miseal was nothing but danger, he could not be what she needs him someone to be.  

Her words stabbed him, the blood of all his mistakes leaking from a missing heart. Miseal's eyes closed then, his ever regal, ever strong stance wavering underneath her words. His head bent down in his misery, tresses falling over his golds, allowing him to hide from her hate, allowing him to hide from so many things that he deserved to feel, to acknowledge, to know. He did not raise his head when words finally came to him, the weight of his horns, the weight of her despair, her disapproval, locking him to the ground. "Yes--there is nothing else I'd rather here. But Enna-"  He started looking up finally, he couldn't be weak anymore. This was not him, Miseal did not cry, Miseal didn't feel, Miseal didn't love.

Oh but he does cry, he does feel, and despite every instinct to not love, he does, and his love his powerful, unrestrained, and unrelenting.

You have to try.

Enna don't give up on me now. Let me be everything you've ever wanted.

I know I can be.

"I can not live with your hate. I can not look at you and know that I am not allowed to greet, touch, love." He spoke, words returning with power, golden orbs blazing and strong. No longer did he claim his love for what they had with weakness, no Miseal was better then that. She could consider him dead to her, but Miseal would not allow himself to be a dead man walking, he hoped that she would see something in him, anything in him,

worth her love.

"No." He said firmly as those orbs he loved to see shine so much, returned to where they belonged; his gaze. "I am not dead to you. I won't allow it." He spoke with some combination of strength, desire, hope. Why did this mare eat him up, why did he want her so bad?

Why did he love her?

She asked too, and this time he was forced to answer a question he had no idea how to. He could hear all the pains in her voice, but Miseal was still a master of emotion, still could easily see the missing parts, and his head sagged when he realized what was missing.

Her love.

Stepping away, he let the darkness sharpen his features as he just wanted to disappear. To never let her see the ugliness that she had seen in him, to protect her from himself. His eyes closed as words found him, riddled with sadness of his realization. "Why? I don't know. I've never felt such compelling, such desire, such want, such need. for you to be mine. All mine." He did not look at her, knowing that she did not want to look at him.

"I don't know what love is, although I wish I did, wish I could experience the love that I so foolishly cast at you." He spoke, regret lacing his tones. He did not want to love someone who did not, would not, love him back.

Backing further into the darkness, using the shadows as his veil, he slowly kept inching back, knowing the Enna could not live with someone as destructive, as dangerous, as him in her life.

He spoke words one last time, feeling as if the battle he wanted to win so badly had been lost. "Goodbye Enna. I hope you never see me again, what I've done to you is too terrible. You deserve better." He spoke, heat burning within his body as he spilled out the words he so desperately didn't want to say, never wanted to say. All he wanted was to feel her embrace, to feel her skin, to feel her love.

But she would not offer him that, and he understood.

He was no good.



"Talk?"

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smitty the swift Posts: 22
Administrator
Mare :: Other :: 1 :: 1
#5
unarchived per request

Enna Posts: 172
Aurora Basin Time Mender atk: 6 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4
Mare :: Unicorn :: 14.1 :: 5 ( TALLSUN ) HP: 61 | Buff: NOVICE
Mehr :: Arctic Wolf :: None kels
#6
if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
THEN I WILL FOLLOW YOU IN TO THE DARK


I cannot live with your hate. I cannot look at you and know that I am not allowed to greet, touch, love.’ What is there to say that he will listen to, when all of your words, your anger, your blame, have been so easily cast aside, fallen on deaf ears? You hide behind a thin veneer of emptiness, passiveness, as he begins to gain confidence, a viper coiled in waiting for the opportunity to strike. Even as your heart wavers, weakens, you cling tighter to your anger, too far gone, too far down this path of destruction, to ever consider any other way.  ‘No. I am not dead to you. I won’t allow it.’ Still you do not say, do not do, your lips pressed against each other in thin patience, your eyes all but swallowed in the intensity of his, trying nearly desperately to understand how he had ever captivated you so, seeing now only the trembling shadow of a coward.

As his head sags, yours rises in defiance, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as he moves to defend things he does not even understand. ’…for you to be mine. All mine.’ It is then that your confusion, your acidic hatred, seeps violently through the cracks and you nearly snarl at him, afraid of the way that his words pull so uncomfortably at your chest. “You’re right,” you spit, watching as that trembling shadow begins to hide. “you don’t know.” He continues to retreat, to hide, to run, and you only hate him more for it. Hate him because he had ruined something that had been so very special to you, hate him because he doesn’t even have the balls to face you, to own up to any of it. Hate him because you had loved him, loved him for everything that he was, is, never will be. So as he speaks again, whispers words that, at a time, would have destroyed you to hear, you lay down your defenses, smile a cold, knowing and calculating smile, despite the heat in your face, the wetness of your eyes, the distance in your heart, lips moving to speak once more.

“For once, we wish the same.”

And with that, one last glance and you turn from him as if it is the easiest thing you have ever done, instead of the way that it burns inside, your mind, heart, scrambling to make sense of the finality of goodbye.  



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@Misael
only tagging cause i didn't know if you wanted to reply or not <3
sorry, completely forgot that i hadn't actually posted this XDD


please tag enna in every post
violence permitted barring permanent injury / death


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