Where... am... I?

Violet eyes blinked into a blinding sun, a pounding ringing through the skull that held them.  A groan broke the gentle surge of waves lapping against his golden hide, surprising him until he realized that the noise had come from his own throat.  He raised his head, just barely, trying desperately to make sense of his blurred surroundings, only to let it fall to the ground with a grunt as pain shot through his body.  There were no familiar landmarks to guide his darting mind to a conclusion about his location, nothing to jog his memory as to why he was here.  There was nothing as far as he could see from his position, prone, half in the water, nothing except for blue sky above and blue sky below and clouds floating all around...

-Quilyan,- a voice whispered, and he swore that it came from inside his mind.  Again, it called to him, and he felt a flood of anxiety that was his-but-not-his, an influx of worry that had nothing to do with his overall confusion at the rather perplexing predicament in which he had found himself.

What...?

He glanced around, almost idly, and his gaze came to rest on a small creature.  He squinted, the shape of a monkey slowly forming before him.  A miniature monkey - how odd.  He had only ever seen the larger ones before, swinging in the treetops in the jungles far to the south of the castle.  "Well, hello," he greeted it, his voice rasping against his throat as it came out. "What in the world are you and what are you doing so far from the trees?"  It cocked its head at him, almost quizzically, as though miniature monkeys could have emotion just as equines could. "I don't suppose you know where I am, do you?"

-I haven't spent time in the trees since the last time we were in the Falls,- the little voice in his head said as the monkey scowled at him.  -And we are in Helovia.-

"You... you're not... you're not speaking to me, are you?"

-Of course I'm speaking to you, you idiot.  Now get up!-  And with that, the little monkey chittered angrily at him, scurrying towards his face.

The stallion bolted to his feet, surprised and alarmed, still feeling the odd worry from within that wasn't quite his.  Pain racked his body, but he was pleased to find that nothing appeared to be horribly disfigured or even remotely injured - he was simply sore, as though he had been battered by the sea.  He looked around, slightly woozy from the reflection of the sky in the sand, with pockets of water scattered around for what looked like miles.  The prince shook himself, finding that the more he moved, the more the pain seemed to fade to a dull ache.  Besides, there was sand in his mane.

-I'm Zarina, remember?  I've been with you since I was born.-

"I..."  He paused for a moment, shock and dread creeping from the shadows of his mind.  "I don't remember."

"more words."

Quilyan

subtlepatterns.com | kaydeniro & larfsalot @ deviantart

She needed to get out. At least for a bit. Everything had been changing lately, and she needed time to think about exactly what it was. Kaj had felt the desire to get his memories erased (for what she assumed had been a majority of them) and she was one of the only clear things left? And then, of course, she had finally begun to accept that Quilyan was either dead, or had moved on. And really… if she saw him again. Oh, she wasn’t about to go back. Ktulu and Lakota had just about proved their point that he hadn’t loved her enough to at least tell her where he was going or say goodbye. She deserved better, didn’t she? At least, that is what everyone else around her seemed to be saying as of late.

So, she had moved on. And now she needed time to think about what the heck was going on with Kaj and how she was going to get the healers to actually participate in… I don’t know… doing healer-ly things. It was frustrating, really, but she would deal. She would have to. She was going to be strong now. And she would do whatever she needed to prove to everyone else that she was.

Alas, it was a voice that had caught her attention as she allowed her body to move across the sand and take in the salty air. She had planned on figuring out what exactly there was out here that might be useful for the healers herbs. But, that voice. It was familiar. She wasn’t close enough to make out any of the words – or which direction it was coming from – but she knew that voice.

Valiance took off the skies almost immediately. His wings catching some of the salt air and instantly shooting off to circle the area. But, what he found shocked him. A drenched up Quilyan who looked as though he had nearly drowned in the ocean. Why he had decided to take a freaking dive he didn’t know, though. Only idiots went swimming when they had wings. Or at least that was what he believed.

”Quilyan has made a lovely reappearance,” he snarled to Resplendence (forever not fond of the mate who had kept causing his bonded consistent pain), ”Oh and he looks like a washed up cat.” Her heart froze, broke, shattered, twisted, and then placed itself back together with sharp barbed-wire fences. She would not be hurt by him again. She would not let him lead her on only to have her heart dropped when he randomly left once more.

Still, even if she was steeled to kill yell at him for being an inconsiderate ass that she didn’t want back in her life, she knew that she had to make sure he was alright. She could not let him suffer physically if there was a chance he might suffer emotionally. So, slowly, she made her way over to him – finding him standing and shaking sand out of his mane as Zarina chittered on the ground near him. ”Quilyan.” Her voice was almost detached – a side effect of the barb-wired heart. ”What possessed you to take a dip in the water?” Chiding, motherly, disapproving. Yep. She was so done with idiocy.

i don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand

He didn't remember? What kind of nonsense was the big lug spouting off now? The marmoset was in a bit of a pout, not prepared to accept that her bonded was completely unaware of not only her, but all that had transpired since... well... since some time before. Hell, she didn't even remember most of it, but at least she knew who she was. More importantly, she knew who he was. But the reality that he had truly forgotten everything began to sink in as she felt the broken connection between them, the vague fuzziness left where once they had read each other perfectly. She still felt him and she could still speak to him, but there was nothing there. And, suddenly, she was terrified.

Unfortunately, she knew who Resplendence was, too, and her heart sank as the pretty mare appeared on the horizon. Immediately her calculating mind began to race. How long had they been away? How long had it been since Quilyan had reassured Resplendence of his intentions, declared his love for her, promised her that he would no longer be gone from her life? What season was it? The flats gave her no clues, no indication; the weather was mild, but that could be any season near the ocean. And, even if she knew they were in Helovia somewhere, she hadn't the slightest idea precisely where they might be. -Quilyan,- she implored. -Please, I'm asking you to trust me. I've never led you wrong before, and I've been your bonded for years. That's what allows me to talk to you - our bond. Now, please, you must let me onto your back and you must prepare to meet Resplendence!-

"Prepare to meet who?" he asked, perplexed, but he allowed the furry creature to scuttle up onto his withers all the same. He stretched out a wing, oblivious to the approach of his once-mate, picking gently at the feathers to realign them properly. Whatever had happened before he had woken up, it had left his wings entirely mussed. "And how do I know you're telling the truth any-"

He was interrupted by a cool, feminine voice, and he winced slightly at his appearance before putting on a lopsided smile and tucking his wings to his sides. The mare approaching him was petite and... glittering? He looked at her curiously, wondering how she got her mane to do that. He would never be interested in added such a feminine flair to his own appearance, but he had to admit that it was pretty. And then she said his name. He frowned - had they met before?

"I'm... you'll have to forgive me, m'lady, but I'm afraid I don't quite remember having made your acquaintance before." The way she spoke to him implied that they had known each other, and he struggled for the memory only to grasp at smoke.

-SHE WAS YOUR MATE, YOU MORON.-

Oh.

He looked at her again, peering, desperately searching for something that would jog his memory. He took in her golden, guarded eyes, her missing ear, the extensive lacing along her legs - and yet he found nothing. Not a hint of her appeared in his memory, and dread began to creep into his heart. If what the little monkey (-ZARINA. My name is Zarina.-) said was true, then he was about to be in a heap of trouble.

"To answer your question," he continued hurriedly, "I did not choose to leap into the sea. At least... not that I remember. Where are we, exactly?"

"more words."

Quilyan

subtlepatterns.com | kaydeniro & larfsalot @ deviantart

How do I know you’re telling the truth any- Yeah, those were definitely different words coming from Quilyan. Still, she kind of just let it slide as he gave a lopsided smile and pulled his wings to his side. Valiance swooped down – giving angry clicks at the winged creature who had disappeared one too many times. Still, Res was almost disconnected from herself at the moment. The emotions that should have been there were guarded for she would not allow herself to fall back into another trap.

But, as he frowned, and the next words came from his lips she could feel the walls beginning to falter. M’lady… made your acquaintance…?!?! What kind of sick game was he playing?! She was his princess. His doll. His fucking world and now he ‘doesn’t believe he has met her acquaintance’. There is a small fire in her eyes as she stands up taller and feels the hatred that had been hidden so well away finally breaking to the surface. ”What kind of sick game do you think you are playing?! You haven’t met my acquaintance my ass, Quil!” She nearly shouts, ear pinning and nostrils flaring. ”You had a child with me! A child that is missing and probably dead now! And you say you don’t know me. Screw you too!”

She’s huffing, and Valiance is puffing smoke in his direction. ”Can I burn his ass? Can I? Can I please!” He’s snarling in her head, done with the games and everything else. She wants to cry. She wants to scream. She wants to make him hurt as much as she had these past few seasons. But she knows she’d lose in a fight. He’s bigger. He had wings. She was only capable in healing arts, and with no poisons around – well… hah it’s just better to chew him out then to do anything else. But… if she had been able to make him bleed… she would have made him bleed.

Oh. He didn’t choose to leap into the sea. ”Kind of want to shove his ass back in there…” she grumbles to Valiance before going to answer his question. ”You’re at Halycon Flats. Welcome to the expanded Helovia. Hope you don’t get yourself attacked by some other world’s God here. They weren’t exactly happy when the Helovian ones decided to take over.” Her tail swishes – sending a spray of glitter behind her as the glowing stops. She was too pissed to be completely comfortable.

Also… that burning him thing. Yeah. It kinda sounded like a good idea. But not yet. Oh… not just yet.

i don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand

If it were possible for the marmoset to find a tree and beat her tiny head against it in a mixture of agony and rage, she would have done so, if only to avoid the tiny mare's wrath. It was entirely understandable, of course, but it was quite unpleasant all the same. Zarina sighed sadly, shaking her head and deciding that it would actually be in her best interest to not be on her prince's back right now. She scampered to the ground to halt a stride or two away, watching Valiance warily. If roles were reversed, she would be ready to breathe fire right about now - and the dragon could actually make that happen. She had no desire to get burned just because her bonded was a moron. Truth be told, she probably would have been better off as Resplendence's companion - but, alas, that had not been her choice in life.

The stallion could feel the marmosets dismay through the bond that she claimed tied them. The longer he was awake, the more compelling he found her argument. He felt every lurch of her emotion, and somehow he recognized that she could feel his, too. At the moment, he was feeling a strange mixture of bemusement, dread, and, now, anger. If the mare was his mate, and they had a child, then why couldn't he remember any of it? Furthermore, why did he have a mate and a child in the first place? And, if it were true, why was their child missing and/or dead? Who did this mare think she was, that she could come and yell at him - him, of all equines! - out of nowhere? Oh, wait - right, she thought she was his mate.

This was all entirely too confusing for a stallion who just woke up.

Maybe he hadn't woken up. Maybe this was all just a dream.

Jumping back into the sea was starting to sound lovely - perhaps that would wake him up.

-You aren't asleep,- Zarina insisted. -And you'd better answer fast. The dragon's going to burn you.- She didn't know that, of course. But it's what she would do.

The prince hadn't noticed the dragon until it dove at his face. He had ducked his head out of the way quickly, snorting with surprise. Now he took a second look, raising his brows with trepidation. Dragons? Real, fire-breathing dragons? What kind of sick world had he ended up in, anyway?

"I... I'm sorry, but I really don't... remember..." he trailed off awkwardly, trying to find some way out of the predicament he'd found himself in. Perhaps he had an evil twin somewhere? One who had clearly made this mare very angry?

"The last thing I remember is..." Shit, the rebellion! The anarchists! His words tumbled out in a hurry. "Anarchists were attacking my home. I fled with my brother, and I think we came to a new land - you and the little monkey over there said that this is Helovia, right? So I suppose this is the land that we found. Anyway, I just woke up in the sand with the little lemur -" (-Marmoset, you ass!-) "-marmoset, whatever the fuck she is, telling me that I have some bond in my head that let's me talk to her and we're in some unknown part of a land called Helovia, and apparently she can't remember anything since... the... falls? And I've never even heard of this place."

He sighed, looking away, as though searching for something. His dignity had been ground into the dirt somewhere along the way, but it did not seem to be lying nearby. He made eye contact again. "Look, if what you say is true, then I am sorry for... I don't know, whatever it is you're yelling at me for. But I do not remember. If you can help me, then I would appreciate the assistance. If you can't, then I humbly submit to your rage, and I suppose when you're done berating me, I will be on my merry way."

"more words."

Quilyan

subtlepatterns.com | kaydeniro & larfsalot @ deviantart

Slowly, Resplendence’s anger began to wane as the fear from the dragon and the uncertainty of his speech really began to fall into place. But, for the most part she still knew in the end that she would not be able to completely forgive him – nor would she be able to move on with her life. ”Zarina. Darling. You won’t get burned.” Resplendence says, focusing on his companion – who, from the sound of his words seems to at least know that Resplendence is his mate if she can remember the Falls. It is a calm voice – sweet, melodic, the usual caring one that fell from her mouth. The one that had shown the weakness and the bundle of emotions that were always wary in her breast. If the little marmoset wanted to take residence in her mane and braid it again, so be it. She held no grudge against his companion. She only held a grudge against the stag who had left her far too many times to have loved her as he said he had.

”Yes. Your sister is here too, by the way, Nasreen. I think she moved toward the Throat.” She sighs, the fire dulling in her eyes as she just builds back up the guarded walls. ”I can bring you back toward the main land. And, incase someone who knows me finds you. I am angry at you saying you wouldn’t leave me again and then disappearing without a single hair of a trace.” It was the least she could do. A warning, for she knew that those who were close to her would want to kill him for daring to leave her.

Valiance, still, is clicking in rage – swooping around above his head. Aye, he is only holding off because Resplendence hadn’t said to burn him yet – though it was sounding like a very good idea. ”I can’t fly, and the weather is getting harsher. It will be a bit of a trek, but we should make it there by the end of a week.” Her voice is sounding broken – the pain of always being left finally soaking through into her words. She tries to stay off the painful topics. To cling to basic things – to things she would have done in the Threshold. Except… she’s not inviting him to stay in the Falls. She can’t bare to see him day in and day out knowing what he had done. She couldn’t keep him in her life and not fall into the clutches of the unhealthy relationship once more.

Maybe… maybe he would be happy with his sister. Find something else… someone else… to go and just be. But she… the mare who had been his princess… she couldn’t be that anymore. She was different – even if he wasn’t. Too much had changed. Too much had broken.

i don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand

The stallion was struck by the change in her voice as the mare addressed the little marmoset. Whatever he had done - whatever pain he had caused - he had scarred the mare, hurt her beyond what words could say. He had never considered himself particularly perceptive - perhaps it was a shred of a memory, but he wouldn't have known that - but this he understood. This he saw without a shadow of a doubt. And somehow, guilt pervaded him, drove through his heart like a knife. Whatever else he did, wherever else he went, he knew that this encounter (the uncertainty of it, the raw emotion of it) would haunt him for the rest of his days.

Zarina chirped softly, making her way slowly up the mare's long mane. There was a certain sadness in her, almost a depression, for she, at least, knew what her prince had lost. How long they were gone, she still didn't know - but it had been far, far too long. The wounds were too deep, too scarred over, and the mare's pain resounded deeply within the marmoset. She would miss Resplendence, regardless of what came after, and she knew that by doing so, she would cause her bonded pain time and again. Her lithe fingers began to braid, a task that had always calmed her. This time - this last time - she took special care, winding and weaving in a way that she never had before. Braids began to take shape, looping through one another, weaving into a lovely pattern. Perhaps she would finish her last work by the end of their journey. She hoped that it would be some small condolence to her bonded's mate.

Of course the marmoset and the mare would be in cahoots. Naturally. He began to wonder if perhaps this wasn't just some cruel jape - but at the mention of his sister, the stallion started. "Nasreen? She's here? But how? She was - she was in the castle, they... she can't have survived... how...?" Wonder and excitement sparked and fell short, doused by the tension that remained. The prince stood in silence, mulling over the weight that had fallen between them. She was a lovely mare, and despite his lack of memory, he could not help but feel a deep, sudden loss. "I'm... sorry, then," he responded finally. "I'm sorry that I don't remember, and I'm sorry for your pain. I... For what it's worth, I'm not sure why I would have left you, but I don't believe... I hope I would not have done so willingly. I regret that I cannot offer more closure than that."

He hesitated. "I wouldn't want to trouble you, not... now." Now... whatever 'now' was. Now, after everything that he, apparently, had done. Now, after finding that his image of himself was scarred and blurred, lacking in direction and focus. "If you will give me a direction, I will find my own way. Unless... you would rather...?"

"more words."

Quilyan

subtlepatterns.com | kaydeniro & larfsalot @ deviantart

The braids. It was comforting, familiar. Something she could ease into. Gently, she allowed her neck to twist before pressing her maw into the little marmoset’s chest. Quiet breaths were given – a reminder that if they needed her she would still be here. While she couldn’t bare to see him all the time, she would always want to be sure that they were okay, that they would at least have a chance to be happy.

Alas, the name of his sister seemed to jolt him. "I don’t know how. We never talked much. But she was alive as of a few seasons back. You had seen her and lived with her for a spell in the World's Edge... before the invasion when we moved to the Falls.” She offers that little before he apologizes for whatever it was that he had done. She would have expected it to be an empty apology, since he didn’t recall much. But, she could tell that he had a weight from whatever it was he thought he might have done to her. ”I hope you would not have done so willingly either, my knight. But it is too late now.” she says – the sorrow ringing in her voice as she uses the one nickname she had held for him.

He says that he does not want to trouble her and that if she gave a direction he could find his own way. ”I’m not certain on these parts, they have not been here too long. I have to go North to get back to the Falls, and we pass through the Thistle Meadow. Hopefully Zarina can recall some of the land from there. At the Thistle Meadow I can point you toward the Throat; maybe Nasreen will still hold residence there and you can be reunited.”

Valiance, forever protective of his broken bonded, decided that it was time to situate himself upon Quilyan. So, he landed upon the stag’s haunches and dug talons in as a warning. He would not leave this spot, and he would be sure that he didn’t try anything stupid until they parted ways.

i don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand

The stallion watched as the little monkey climbed her way up the mare's mane, perched upon the crest of her neck, and began to braid. He had never paid that much attention to the process of braiding before, though the style had been all the rage in the castle for quite a time - that was beyond his interest. Pretty mares, he enjoyed; how they became pretty, not so much. In any case, the way the little marmoset weaved and intertwined the strands of hair, overlaying them into a lovely pattern, was almost mesmerizing.

As the mare began to speak of Nasreen, his thoughts turned to home. He wondered again how she had escaped, and if she had managed to do so unscathed. The last time he had seen the castle, it had been going up in flames - or, at least, the parts that would burn had been. So much of it was stone, but all the drapery, anything wooden - it had all been an orange glow against the night sky. He supposed finding Nasreen should be his next course of action - what else was he to do, after all? - but he was hesitant to do so. If what they said was true, he had left for an indeterminate amount of time. Would Reeni hate him, too? Had he deserted her as well? Surely not - she had always been his favorite sister, hadn't she?

It was too late now, far too late for him to mend whatever bridges he had burned between himself and the mare - but perhaps a journey through this new land would remind him what he had lost. It was a welcome thought, but a terrifying one - if he had done so much wrong, did he even want to know what it had been? He frowned slightly, then nodded. "I would appreciate your guidance, m'lady," he agreed quietly. The dragon swooped down and he flinched, but it only sought purchase on his withers. He gritted his teeth against the sharp sting of claws in his back, but said nothing; apparently he deserved the harsh treatment. "Lead the way."

"more words."

Quilyan

subtlepatterns.com | kaydeniro & larfsalot @ deviantart