the Rift

we dreamt in heist (volterra vs sialia)

Volterra the Indomitable Posts: 785
Dragon's Throat Sultan atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8.5
Stallion :: Equine :: 17'2hh :: 3 HP: 80 | Buff: SENSE
Vérzés :: Common Red Dragon :: Frost Breath & Toxic Breath & Vadir :: Royal Gold Dragon :: Fire Breath & Shock Breath Snow

Clack, clack.

His hooves clatter on the hard ground, the horseshoes on his back feet causing the sound to have a more metallic clang than the throaty tap of his forehooves. He hulks through the darkness, shadows playing across each hewn muscle as he prowls. This is the first time he has ever brought himself to the land beneath Helovia, the endless caves, the maze of sharp rock and dripping stone. It is cold down here, far colder than the sunny day he has left behind on the surface, and the chill bites at his tight black flesh. He smothers a shiver, continuing his march forwards into this uncharted territory.

His dragons do not like it. The red flies above his behemoth bonded, hissing and snarling, then bellowing in anger as the caves throw his initial growls back at him. Through his mind, Volterra feels how displeased Vérzés is with the cramped, enclosed spaces, the stifling claustrophobia and the lack of prey. Vadir perches on the brute's back, scanning her surroundings with keen, intelligent eyes, but the stallion can tell that she, too, dislikes being trapped beneath the weight of a thousand tonnes of stone. Her tail swings back and forth like a pendulum, a metronome, like the irritated flick of an angered lion. "Be calm," he hisses to his companions, aloud, almost forgetting he can communicate within the sanctum of his mind. His thunderous voice echoes through the caverns and bombards him with his own rasping baritone, and his ears flatten to his skull in displeasure as the caves seem to mock him by twisting and contorting his words.

The further the trio venture, the darker and murkier it gets. In the beast's ears, he hears a roar - he follows it, breaking into a trot, allowing his muscles to loosen and flow. He enters a cave, dominated by a great underground waterfall, the thunder of which rings in his head and pounds his senses. The spray tickles his flesh, even from this great distance, and his eyes flash with delight.

It is a perfect place to battle.

Different to anywhere he has fought before - darker, tighter, with a harder floor and an air of menace. Perfect to test himself, to try out his newfound stamina born of training and fight experience. Perfect to test his dragons, who dislike the conditions but are quite willing to fight in them at the bonded's command. He turns so his back is to the cascading water and he's facing the cave entrance, able to see any who enter to tangle with him, and swings his tail against his thighs in frenzied excitement.

Over the scream of the waterfall, the beast bellows a war cry, demanding an opponent in this underground metropolis.

Teaching spar for @Sialia !

Set in the Sunken Falls. Up to you whether magic and companions are allowed ^^ Good luck!

0/3 - 460 words

image credits

[ you can't stray from what you are, you're the closest thing to hell i've seen so far  ]
[ use of force/magic on him is permitted aside from death/maiming ]

Sialia Posts: 169
Outcast atk: 6 | def: 8.5 | dam: 5.5
Mare :: Unicorn :: 16.1 :: 8 Years HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE

It had been a long time since I had been here, in the heart caves. My mind had caused me to wander, worry filling in each orifice of my body. The worry for my daughter had grown strong. She had ran off the last time I had seen her. Over a guy. A GUY.

I had never gone running off over a guy.

Granted, I hadn't revealed my pregnancy rather un-tastefully to the father in a crowd of strangers.... I hadn't actually told the father when I found out. I had pushed on past it, determined to raise my daughter on my own. I did not need him. But maybe he had needed her.

I was a selfish creature by nature. I took what I wanted and moved on. It was hard for me to think about someone else, hence the strangeness of this phenomena. But she was pregnant, she had lef t the nest, and I had no idea where she had gone off to. Which is what drew me here. Maybe, just maybe I would see her here.

But instead, I saw nothing. I weaved in and out of the caverns, hooves clacking and echoing across the rock and stone, giving anyone who was in the caverns a warning signal of my approach.

But I met no one, and I wandered deeper, until I could hear the roar of a waterfall, deep under the ground. Along with the echo of a masculine bellow. A cry for blood, a screech for war.

Within minutes I was inside an expansive cavern, and it was certainly the source of the rushing water, and the masculine voice. As I entered my eyes looked over the stocky stud, to look at the waterfall. I studied it for only a moment, before my dark eyes turned to the behemoth that stood before me. He wanted war? I could give him the blood he wished. I was willing to give it. I was aching for it.

In one fluid motion I am pushing off the stone, and launching myself towards the huge stallion, head on. It wasn't to far, and my head snaked forward to tear flesh from his chest. We would sweat, we would bleed. It would all be so wonderfully violent.

Base Code: Tamme Art & Customization: Goatfairy


Summary: Canters off at Volterra's front, and tries to bite and tear at his flesh on his chest.

As for companions/magic, I personally would rather go without, that way I can focus on Vol, rather than another component. ^^

Word Count: 378/800

ALSO! I am sorry for the crappiness of this. I am running on 3 hours of sleep, so I am very very tired, but I wont have time tomorrow.
[Image: 538c1505470d5]
Please tag Sialia in all posts! Thanks!

Time the Dice Queen Posts: 144
OOC Account atk: 50 | def: 50 | dam: 50
Mare :: Other :: 5'7 :: 22 HP: 5050 | Buff: DROPKICK
Please include attack number, 1/3, 2/4, etc.!

Volterra the Indomitable Posts: 785
Dragon's Throat Sultan atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8.5
Stallion :: Equine :: 17'2hh :: 3 HP: 80 | Buff: SENSE
Vérzés :: Common Red Dragon :: Frost Breath & Toxic Breath & Vadir :: Royal Gold Dragon :: Fire Breath & Shock Breath Snow

Mare. He smells mare.

Each formidable muscle on his body immediately tenses, turning his powerful frame into an expanse of thrumming tension and hard, rippling lines. He throws his colossal head high and inhales, dragging in the beautiful, wonderful scent of woman. It floods his senses, intoxicates his brain, and his dragons give simultaneous groans of disappointment as they feel his mind plummet into the dark depths of nefarious desire.

She enters his cavern, and his eyes roam gleefully, shamelessly, across her. Unicorn, old enough to receive his attentions but not so old that her odour is that of a dry old prune, an inhospitable husk; she is still young enough to be nubile and to bend beneath his weight. His ruby gaze darts across her, and so do the eyes of his dragons; his red from the shadowy cave roof, and Vadir from her perch upon his back. Go, he commands them, never taking his eyes off his opponent - because there's no doubt in his mind that she intends to heed his war cry, and he wishes to be prepared. With a cacophony of draconic screams, red and gold ascend into the darkness that grips the far corners of the cavern, their scales glinting in what little light manages to pierce these putrid depths. They know, without needing to ask, that he does not require them in this battle. This is not a fight where total annihilation of his opponent is the intended outcome. This is not a fight where he needs to bathe his unfortunate foe in a haze of savage claws and hooked teeth, where he wants to be the victor by virtue of being the last one left alive. When he fights a woman, he does not fight to destroy. He fights to dominate, to prove the strength that burns through his muscles, to demonstrate his suitability as a lover and, if he's lucky, lure the mare into his bed as she crumbles into weak-kneed mush at the sight of his fearsome battle prowess.

That involves leaving his opponent capable of movement, and not in a bloodied heap at his feet. His dragons don't understand restraint, so it's best they not be involved at all.

The beast has just enough time to lock away his lusts and perform an assessment of the mare; smaller than him by a hand or so, enough of a difference that he knows his brute strength will need to come into play. He has his weight, so he will damn well fling it around. She's undoubtedly lighter and quicker on her feet, which may prove useful in these enclosed conditions. Although the cave is not particularly small, it does have walls that could be crashed into should Volterra's brakes fail, and even more embarassing is the prospect of tumbling into the water itself. The hard ground, damp with the spray of the waterfall, could easily prove perilous, and the stone would not be a merciful landing should his balance escape him.

She charges, and he stands tall and strong before her. There's little chance of her being able to push him over, so he remains where he is, a towering monolith of hewn stone and black brawn, a wall of man. Instead of charging, however, she bites, and as she does so Volterra throws his weight to his right. Her teeth crash into the flesh on the left side of his meaty chest, creating a large, deep bruise which bursts into life in the muscle and rises to the surface; it is extremely painful, but thankfully high enough up that it won't compromise his use of his left foreleg.

Instead of grimacing, as most horses would, he grins. Ah, yes, he does love a woman who packs a punch.

With a savage grunt, he throws himself forwards. Given his initial movement to his right, he now aims to move parallel alongside the mare, left side to left side. He aims to slam the left flank of his colossal hind end hard into Sialia's left shoulder, to try and barge her over to her right. Although he does not wish to crush her completely, he does want to defeat her, and if he can unbalance her then he can hopefully end the fight quickly in his favour. Simultaneously, his hungry jaws seek to rain bites down on the left side of her lower spine and backside, trying to pepper her with hard bruises in revenge for the one she's placed upon his chest. He wants to taste that jet black skin, mark it, own it.

Teaching spar for @Sialia !

Set in the Sunken Falls. Up to you whether magic and companions are allowed ^^ Good luck!

1/3 - 763 words

image credits

Teaching notes:

Spelling/grammar - I only spotted two grammar/spelling errors ('she had lef t the nest' and 'It wasn't to far'), which is great! Readibility is one of the easiest ways to rack up points during a judging, so proof-reading is your friend. It's good news that you're already writing without any major errors, so keep up the good work and try to iron out those two little typos :D

Emotion - Although I got a basic grasp of Sialia in this, I found myself wanting more! In such a short post, I understand it's hard to fit in a lot of emotion, but I think you could have really amped it up even in the words you did use. How did she feel when she saw Vol? What's making her want to fight? I'm intrigued by her worry for her daughter, and her fuming over her daughter running after a guy, but I'd have loved to see some more of this and really get a feel for her emotions.

Attacks - Although the attack itself was good, I think it could have been described more. Where abouts on his chest is she aiming for - the middle, the top? How fast is she going? (your summary says a canter, but this isn't written anywhere in your actual post, and judges don't use OOC notes to judge with). Also, be careful here: 'and my head snaked forward to tear flesh from his chest'. This could be considered GM/PP, as it sounds like she's going to tear flesh from his chest regardless of what he does about it. Make sure you use words like 'tried/attempted/aimed/hoped' etc in order to make it explicit to the judge that you're not assuming the attack will hit. Also, it's VERY unlikely that blunt horse teeth could rip flesh off - badly bruise, yes, but they aren't sharp enough to physically tear a great chunk off.

Damage taken - N/A

Other - WORD COUNT. I always go on and on about this, but in a fight you want to use as much of your word count as you possibly can, and you only used under 400 here. As you said below your post, you wrote it on lack of sleep, which is fair enough. However, as I say, you want to maximise your use of those 800 words. Quality over quantity is always the best, of course, and you do get fighters who are such fantasic writers they can cram all the feels into half the word count and still score top marks in all categories. I always think it's better to utilise those words, though, which is why my fight posts are always at least 700 words - I always think, what is there to lose by using all the words I have? If I'm a bit short, I can ALWAYS find something else to add, whether it's a few extra metaphors/emotive words, or more description to my attacks and defenses. I almost always have the opposite problem, being so waffly I have to purge 100 words at the end xP

In this post, I'd have used your remaining words to describe your attacks more (left/right etc.), and also used them to push in some more emotion as I mentioned above. I'd also have had her describe her surroundings and muse on how they'll affect her - will she worry that the hard ground will damage her tendons? Will she wonder if the spray from the falls has dampened the stone? She could also have contemplated the size difference between her and Vol as well - how willl she combat that?

[ you can't stray from what you are, you're the closest thing to hell i've seen so far  ]
[ use of force/magic on him is permitted aside from death/maiming ]

Blu the Bootyful Posts: 443
Administrator atk: 99 | def: 99 | dam: 99
Mare :: Other :: 5'7" :: 25 HP: 99999 | Buff: TWERK
Sialia defaults to Volterra. Volterra earns 0.5 VP and +1 EXP for 1 teaching post.
 HP: 1100

Helovia Hard Mode

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