There was, at least, one thing that Mesec was not confused about - and that was the promise he owed his Sultana. One that wouldn’t, he hoped, end in a similar disastrous fashion as the last promise he tried to keep. But when they came to the Heart, he found that he couldn’t travel any further. Mesec didn’t want to actually go to the Throat, not believing he had any right to anymore. He once had sworn to Megaera that if he were ever to turn into that monster ever again, he would never return to the Throat - and while she had not accepted that, while she had countered with her own request. That he find her if it ever happened again.

It had been an easy enough promise to make back then, he had still had the hope that it was a one-time fluke that would never be repeated - that it had been his mother’s doing, just a trick to battle the wolf god.  

Clearly, his hopes had proved to be in vain. It had happened and in the worst possible way. This was not a fluke - it was something living inside of him, waiting for an excuse to be unleashed. It seemed that it was triggered whenever he was emotional, Lucius suspected that it had more to do with Ampere than it did anything else - she had been around every time it had happened. Although he had to admit she had helped to get him under control in the Thistle Meadow. Perhaps just heightened distress, an easy enough state for Mesec to slip into in the aftermath. It was a task for the pair to try to keep focused and calm as they turned south again. Mesec bore scratches along his neck from where Lucius had bit and clawed at him whenever his thoughts began to turn dark.

Perhaps not the best method but it had been effective, the sharp pain redirecting his thoughts. And now, in the early dawn, Mesec stood near the Heart and let his eyes travel where his body could not go, let them go further south. “Lucius, find Megaera please.” He wouldn’t go back to the Throat, like he had said, but he would at least let her know. He had, at least, owed her that. And then? His next steps were cloudy so he could only focus on what was directly in front of him.

It proved dangerous to focus on anything else.

With one final nip in warning to behave Lucius took off and flew south to the Throat, hoping that the Sultana and Gwaihir would be easy to find.

M E G A E R A
“We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows. Choose a place where you won't do harm - yes, choose a place where you won't do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine.” -- E.M. Forster


Megaera’s day was set to start as most did, watching the sun rise from beneath the Dragon’s Blood tree. It had become a habit, a ritual, to greet the dawn and give thanks to the Sun for all she had been given before starting her day. Most in the herd would know by now that if they had something to tell her or to ask, that there was the surest place to find her.

Today it seemed her only company would be Gwaihir, but the time spent with him was quiet comfort and the mare cherished it. He sat perched on her withers and through their bond he complained about the bother that Nizho had caused him the previous day. If Meg didn’t know better, the eagle’s diatribe would have caused her to never ask him to take babysitting duty again, but she could feel the uncle-like affection that Gwahir had for her children. besides, she would have been fine with letting the children to their own devices during the days; it was Gwaihir that insisted on tailing them.

Megaera was just beginning to laugh at the fuming eagle when a shadow crossed the brightening sky. In an instant, both laugh an complaint were silenced and two pairs of eyes snapped to the four-winged zephyr as it swooped again in front of them. It was a strange feeling for Megaera, to suddenly realize how complacent she had become in the past few weeks, how at ease. All had been well in the Throat, all had been calm, and she had lived in worked in the company of her friends and family unafraid of the future. All that quiet calm of early morning came crashing down around her.

The zephyr swooped, clear in his attempt to garner her attention and immediately Meg cast her eyes about her to look for Mesec but the demigod was nowhere to be seen, that cast the fist shadow of fear over her heart. the pinch of talons on her neck and a gentle push of weight before taking off was Gwaihir’s signal that he would follow and the Sultana picked up a quick step, moving away from the trap and towards open ground. In a few steps she had fallen into a gallop and flung her wings out testing the morning air and before long they lifted her.

They followed Lucius in silence, the mare’s hear tripping with urgency and the raptor cautioning a cool head. It didn’t take the party long to reach the Heart lands, and below stood Mesec. It was a relief, even if a momentary one, that the messenger had not led Meg to another battle or some other scene of bloodshed; the stallion that stood below might have a handful of fresh scrapes, but at least he stood open his own feet.

”Why does he wait here?” Gwaihir voiced the question that had barely dared to enter her mind and meg felt her stomach drop. There was only one reason she could think of that Mesec would have sent for this way. She fell like a bullet, tearing out of the sky with a final burst of speed only slowing her momentum when the ground rushed up to meet her.

“Mesec!” There was the strain of worry in her voice but it was not raised as she called out to him. Fout hooves found the earth with practiced skill and wasted no time in ushering the Sultana towards her friend. For a moment she did not speak but let her dark eyes move over the scratches across his shoulders and his subdued countenance. Her breaths hung between them in the cool air, thinning into mist like the silence that stretched for lifetimes. “Tell me.” the whisper was an echo of the promise she had made. I could not leave you to face such a thing alone.

The confirmation that Megaera had been found and was on her hit Mesec with such relief - the first positive thing that he had felt in the last few days. Not purely positive, of course - it was irrevocably tainted with fear of the upcoming conversation - but for a brief moment he felt relief and that meant everything. Lucius called out unhappily to Gwaihir as they flew, a mournful cry. He too feared what was coming, feared what Mesec might do to ensure that he would never hurt someone again.

A cynical creature, Lucius now hosted the only hope between them - and it was resting with the brown pair he was leading.

He dived with Megaera toward Mesec, thankful for her speed and concern and feeding more of these positive emotions through his bond. He landed carefully in his usual spot upon Mesec’s wing, reaching out to offer a comforting nip but stopping as he saw the scratches he had already left. They were supposed to take care of each other and they had not been doing a very good job.

As she landed and moved forward, Mesec quickly scrambled backward - causing Lucius to squawk with the disruption. “Don’t come too close, please.” The normally smooth, warm voice as hoarse and cracked, tears swimming in his silver eyes as he looked away from her and her worry. He did not deserve it - and it would surely leave her soon, as soon as he told her.

But he had promised and she needed to know.

“Gaucho and Ampere… and their children.” His voice broke as he said it - shame washing over him fresh as he thought of the borrowed memories, of the blood he had woken up to find in his mouth and on his body. Gaucho’s blood. Lucius quickly nipped him, hard enough to draw a small line of blood, focusing him back on the present. They both had to stomach their own despair over this crude control technique, each scratch and scrape on Mesec’s body one that caused the zephyr pain as well. It was not just one set of silver eyes that focused on Megaera but two, equally broken hearted and begging her for help.

Mesec was quick to continue, realizing the implications of just saying those few words might leave.  “Th...they’re all okay but… I can’t go home, Megaera and... I don’t know... what to do.” Mesec wasn’t even brave enough to take his own life - he hadn’t even been able to leave Helovia properly - but he held such faith in his Sultana. She had to know what would be best. Whatever her reaction, he welcomed it - unable to think clearly through the thick fog of shame, despair, and fatigue that had overtaken his mind. Even focusing on her, as close as she was, took more concentration than it should have.  “It wasn't me but I can't have it happen again.”

M E G A E R A
“We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows. Choose a place where you won't do harm - yes, choose a place where you won't do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine.” -- E.M. Forster


It was a hard thing to see him recoil from her. Meg slid to a swift halt as he spoke, stopped at his plea because he seemed to desperate for her to come no closer. She was not afraid but would not dare refuse a request made in such a way. Perhaps they hadn’t known each other very long, but common ground that they had reached had quickly etched Mesec a place in Meg’s heart next to some of her closet friends. But now, to see him scramble back at her approach like he was afraid of her was a thorn pressed slowly into her heart; to hear his voice crack was nails on a chalkboard. The worst of is was that he would not seem too look her. Like a child some quiet pitying thought whispered in her mind, like a boy who has been struck by someone he trusted.

“Gaucho and Ampere… and their children.” Meg hoped to never again feel the cold stab of fear that pierced her at those words. She stilled, suddenly sever in the grip of fear that Mesec night be confessing; Her eyes seemed to grown as they widened—black pools of terror— and not a breath passed her lips. Children… Children?! her mouth wanted to scream the word but she clamped down upon it. No… on. this was Mesec and Mesec was not the Beast…. It’s not his fault wouldn’t be his fault!

Gaucho and Ampere she could not believe to be fallen but for several long heartbeats it seemed she might have to face the possibility that he had, in his wolfish form, killed the two innocent fillies. It’s not his fault. but could she really come to accept that? And what if it had been her own children? How could that blood ever be washed clean? She had forgiven Gaucho in an instant but would she have if her mentor had taken the lives of her own children? Could she forgive Mesec? Her eyes drifted to the point where Lucius drew out a drop his bonded’s blood…

Child’s blood… Demigod’s blood…. Could one pay for the other? Should it?

It was Gwaihir who cried now, pinching at Meg’s withers with long and lethal talons. He was appalled at the place Megaera’s mind had drifted too and knew she would be as well if she hadn’t been to afraid of what Mesec would say next.

”…they’re all okay…” Meg felt the breath she had been holding rush out of her, the death of all those horrible possibilities that she had dared to contemplate. Her eyes slid closed to hold back thankful tears for as soon as she had though herself bound she had been freed—freed from taking her friends fate into her own hands.

She opened them again to find the silver eyes (two pairs of them) begging her for help and that alone was enough to steel her resolve. What was she worth without her friends and family? She had always needed to be needed, always found her worth in what she could be and do and give for those she loved. It was Mesec’s need that made her strong, her doubt that solidified her surety.

“Easy, my friend. I am here for you.” She spoke slowly, calmly, trying to sooth the beast that threatened to break her friends spirit. She tested a step forward, just one, as her right wing unfolded and extended  inch inch towards his shoulder. She was ready to move, ready to act if he changed and ready to stop if he pulled away. “You have done nothing you cannot come back from, and I will not be the one to let you give up on yourself. You will come home, but first, we will go to the Veins of the Gods.” It was not a question, nor did it sound like a demand. She spoke as if it was just a simple fact, something they had planned all along. Upon her back the eagle fed her his stoic resolve, and that was enough to keep her reaching wing from trembling. “We will go to the Sun God, to all of them… They will have answers at the very least, and perhaps that will be able to help. If they set you task I will do what it in my power to help you concur this. Please Mesec, come to the Veins with me.”  Please Mesec, let me help you.

He truly did not know what to expect, how Megaera would take the news - the whole news, after he had moved on from that unfortunately placed pause in his story. Their friendship was still fresh, a tentative bond formed between them over their mutually unfortunate upbringing, and he was testing it. If this wasn’t a make or break situation for his stay in the Throat, for his friendship with Megaera, he didn’t know what else could be. He was too afraid to watch her and witness the conflicting emotions as she heard what little of the story he could bring himself to share.

Until finally that release of breath when she knew that they were all okay.

He flinched once when she took that first step but held his ground - wanted to show that he meant her no harm. Not in this form - never consciously. He lowered his head, every part of him drooping. She was speaking to him so kindly, so softly, treating him like the wild animal he had shown himself to be. Not one that would spook with the wrong movement but one that could bring devastation with the wrong trigger. There had been enough blood in the last few days - thankfully most of it belonging to deer and other animals he had found as the monster - and he wasn’t looking to add Megaera to the list.

Every fibre of Mesec’s being spoke of submission and acceptance as she brushed her wing against his shoulder - a comforting gesture he did not believe he deserved but one that he welcomed nonetheless. It encouraged him to look up at her finally, to pay attention to the words she spoke. Although he believed her to be wrong about returning home (how could he? When he didn’t even know where Ampere had gone after they spoke?) the idea of going to the Veins struck him.

Mesec felt a little ashamed that he had not thought of going there himself - considering who his mother was, perhaps that should have been his first thought. He felt so grateful toward Megaera, unable to truly express the depth of it, as his eyes filled with tears once more - out of gratitude and relief. “Okay.” The only word he was able to croak out, unable to put into words how thankful he was toward the Sunspear in these moments.