the Rift


[PRIVATE] You make me sing and cry

Arah Posts: 343
Outcast atk: 7 | def: 10.5 | dam: 3
Mare :: Unicorn :: 15hh :: 5 HP: 65 | Buff: NOVICE
Wynter :: Royal Griffin :: Draining Clutch Frostie
#1


The world around her was absolutely beautiful, the morning dew glistened in the soft yellow, orange and pink glow of the early morning sun. Wynter had disappeared on an early morning hunt, rather mournfully she'd allowed her companion to disappear. The warmth of the sun infiltrated through her pale coat, it warmed her chilled blood and sleepy mind. Awakening her body to the world around her, as the world began to bloom to life around her. Golden eyes battered against the rising light on the sun, this place, really seemed to be a part of another world. The secret grove was romantic and seemed to come alive in a way that the rest of Helovia just didn't. The gorgeous piece of land tucked away in the corner of the Endless Blue and World's End was simply a romantic grove, with it's seclusive draping trees and sparkling pool of crystal clear water, the surface smooth and glassy. Her molten gold eyes ran along the branches of the willows studying the thick vegetation that grew along the limbs. The doe admires the way it provided privacy, reducing the eyes that would be able to see her at this very moment. It was perfect, she was left alone to deal with the thoughts and emotions. Having to deal wth the idea of her new home, the way she'd effected some of the lives of her new herd mates. The idea that she'd no longer be allowed to vanish into her cosy cave and spend days just wallowing away in the dark. The truth was she missed The Basin, it was like a giant gaping hole in her chest that she'd been unable to fill by joining The Edge. Perhaps she hadn't put enough effort into meeting and serving the members of her new family but the loyalty she'd felt for Deimos simply didn't exist for her new King and Queen.

Then of course there was the much more pressing manner of Tilney.

The truth was she desperately needed some peace and quiet to sort through her thoughts, emotions and make sense of the swirling vortex inside her chest. Panic had seized her a while ago, a panic that she'd kept forcing away rather than facing until it had become almost impossible to keep the emotions buried any longer. She thought of him whenever she was alone, he was the addiction that her mind was stuck on, he was present in her waking thoughts and dreams. The doe felt exhausted, her dreams had prevented a good nights rest. Each time her appeared to her she woke with a start, it was as if she was missing something. Like she'd known him before but couldn't quite make the jump, the frustration she felt at being unable to make the connection was almost unbearable. On top of that there was the fact that she couldn't understand how she was feeling about him. Why every molecule of her was drawn to him, yet her mind kept screaming to not run away with her heart. She'd been betrayed, broken and abandoned in the past when she'd ruled with her heart. The doe had believed that Crowley loved her but perhaps he never did. Now, whenever she reflected upon that part of her life, all she could see was a naive girl that's didn't know what she'd been getting herself into. The resulting pain had left her unable to cope with her current feelings towards Tilney, the past still haunted her heart and she was trying but failing to outrun the ghosts.

If she did allow herself to fall it would be different this time. She wouldn't allow herself to love him completely. It would be measured, controlled and carefully calculated. This time she would have every step planned out, ready to evacuate the moment things got tough.

If only she'd be able to stop her mind and heart running wild. Stop the feeling that he was the one for her. Because at the moment it was as if she'd fallen in love with him already, skipped every step and once again just allowed her heart to take over. Yet, this couldn't really be the case. Arah would not allow herself to mess up again, to experience that pain. After the disaster with Crowley and her girls, why on earth would she allow herself to be at someone else's mercy again?

Arah was terrified of fucking up that badly again.
At the moment she was held together by spiderwebs and a deep buried fury.

Tilney scared her, her feelings for him made her want to run from him. Never allow her eyes or heart to see him again. Because, if she was to be honest, she did have feelings for him. The truth about these feelings? The truth...?

The truth was...

It really was as simple as...

She'd come to the logical conclusion...

Damit it.

Shit.

Shit.

She loved him.

Her breath started coming in a wheeze, her heart pounded and she panic. A fully blown panic attack that surely would have Wynter rushing back to her side. The doe's body crumpled to the ground as she struggled to get ahold of herself. How could she love him? How had she allowed herself to fall for him? Was she such an idiot that past mistakes and lessons played no part in her current decisions. No mistake was enjoyable, no lesson was taught lightly. They were lashed out, her flesh still burned with the scars from her previous pains. How could she be such an idiot? This couldn't be allowed, she had to stop this before it got any further! Yet as she lay on the ground trying to come to grips with her situation, she felt as if there was only one person who could understand her. Or at least offer comfort and that one person was the same one she wanted to run from. He who could now destroy her or elevate her. He held power over her heart and she'd never been more fearful of someone her entire life.




Art by Mockingale @ DA


@Tilney
And I ain't afraid to die, I’m afraid of going to hell.

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