Zero didn't want to go home. Not yet. Home was too hard, too bright and unyielding. It burned with the truth of the matter: that Ma was gone, gone somewhere else where he wouldn't find her, and he had been left behind.

And when he got home and found it just like he expected, barren and full of people who were not Ma, it would be another nail in the coffin of his misery. Because a little part of him still hoped that once he got to the desert she would be there waiting, a blue bolt of lightning on the golden sands. And that part, he knew, was wrong.

Zero couldn't bear the thought of going somewhere he knew someone he loved was not, so he made the only logical choice: he turned north, where he knew someone he loved was. It was a long journey but he made it in silence, brown body pulled tight in upon itself, metal side glittering as the sun slowly sank down beneath the lip of the world. Ma had told him a story about the Sun, once, about where he went when he disappeared and yielded the world to the moon, but the lighting boy couldn't remember it now- so he decided to make up his own. It involved a whale, and a dragon, and maybe a princess who was really a thief and stole the sun until a brave knight came and challenged for it back and he was accompanied by a fish-

No, a lion-

No, a kangaroo-

No a, uh-

A frustrated scream ripped through the hills, and the boy breathed heavily, angrily, because it just wasn't good enough and Ma could do it better but she couldn't because she wasn't here because she just left.

He stopped, sides heaving, and for a few minutes just stood. Then sunbeam eyes opened and the boy looked around, confusion joining aggravation on his face. Because even though he was definitely in the Foothills... well, really, he didn't know where he was outside of that.

The night was cold, and terribly dark, which made it all the more miraculous that he found his way at all. Zero peered through the (familiar? no?) trees, suddenly realizing the stupidity of his plan. Despite his prior visit the oft-lost boy had no idea how to navigate the Foothills, and it's not like he could shout for Isopia, because someone might hear him and he wasn't supposed to tell people her name because... reasons.

So the boy wandered in what he thought might be the right way, occasionally pausing to sniff the air, or raise an ear in pursuit of his friend. That he wouldn't find her was inconceivable, because he had to find her, because she had to be there, because if she was gone and Ma was gone then, well....

He didn't want to think about that.

Had the sun been up he might have realized that his horrible sense of direction had, for once, done some good. In truth the boy was mere meters from his best friend's clearing, skirting around it like a river might a stone; but meters didn't matter in the dark, and Zero continued to stumble blindly, stubbornness and heartache the only things holding his battered body in check.

---

TAG;; @Isopia

Flash

Zero started as sparks exploded in the dark, bright like lightning, shaped like a dragon- his heart caught in his throat, and for a fleeting, gorgeous, terrible second a single thought filled his mind. "Ma?" the lonely child choked, his voice little more than a whisper, heady and rushed and hopeful and- and- and-

But as the spots faded from his eyes the boy realized the error he'd made. This was not one of Ma's creatures: it was too real, too permanent, and besides, Ma would have sent him a whale, or a dolphin, or something. Like a torn tire the boy deflated, disappointment crashing like waves upon his back, sorrow rushing in to fill the empty place where hope had so briefly lived. No, Ma was gone, and this was just a bronze dragon with a weird determination to get his attention and lead him somewhere in the dark, probably to- oh.

"Hubris!" the boy cried softly (for him, anyway). Relief poured through Zero; he wanted to sob, to reach out and hug the damn dragon, but Hubris was already flying away. Zero followed diligently, happy to have a direction, delighted and desperate past anything he'd expected at the prospect of no longer being alone. Yes, he'd wanted to find Isopia, but it wasn't until now that he realized he needed it, needed her, needed someone he could talk to and be with and sit by and love.

And there she was, in the dark, calling his name. He didn't register much more than that. Exhaustion and relief and cold were a numbing cocktail in his mind; Zero nodded, his face a mask of hopeful trust, and diligently followed where the mountainous mare led, which happened to be her clearing. Though truth be told he would have followed her anywhere just then- anything, if only she would let him stay.

They crossed the threshold into her home, giant and pipsqueak side-by-side. The boy held his uncharacteristic silence for their (very) brief walk, but now he felt his voice trying to rise, his emotions churning in an attempt to break free and become- what? He opened his mouth but no words came out; helplessly Zero stared up at his skull-faced friend, wishing she could just see into his head and find what was wrong, but painfully aware that this was an impossible desire. He wasn't a child anymore, and she wasn't his Ma: he couldn't expect her to fix all his wrongs, just to be there as his friend as he figured his shit out. A small part of him knew this.

The rest was still in denial.

"I missed you, Iso," the boy said at last, his voice ripe and heavy with the weight of his words. Tears sprang to sunbeam eyes, and he shook them away, sharp anger rising in his breath. "Everything fucking sucks. Why does the world have to suck?" The words exploded into the cold night air, forceful puffs of steamy wrath dissipating into an uncaring sky.

But his anger wasn't for her- it was for them, for the world, for everyone who'd ever just given up and run away and thought he was weak and left him behind.

It was for Ma, because Zero had finally moved on to the second stage of grief, and boy was he mad.

---

TAG;; @Isopia

It wasn't that he didn't want her to touch him- more that he didn't expect it, at all. Zero's first instinct was to tense in surprise, followed by the rather immediate second instinct of relaxing into her touch. How long had it been since he'd been hugged? When compared with Isopia, not so long, but in his estimation it had been ages. And to be hugged by Iso? Well, that was a rare treat, something uniquely special and delightful for the boy. Zero sighed against her mane, letting the warmth of her wings and the solid comfort of her body ease him out of his distress- if only for a minute, because a minute was enough.

When Isopia drew away she took a bit of his anguish with her, and Zero felt lighter for it, though anger still burned hot in his breast. He nodded forcefully, though a part of him noticed how quick she was to agree with him. Was she okay? For perhaps the first time Zero realized that he'd never heard from Isopia about her family, her friends. Sure, there was that big black stallion he'd met at the Rift fight, but who else did Iso have? He knew she wasn't close with her Ma (an idea once incomprehensible, but perhaps he could see now that it had some merit). Had he been horribly selfish, coming here with his problems while he still had sisters and Gaucho and Mesec and even more people than he could really count waiting for him in the Throat?

Ironically Zero was too busy worrying about his adequacy as a friend to notice the way Isopia's eyes drifted in the dark. His attention only returned to her when she spoke again, turning to make her way out of the cold - thank goodness. How anybody could tolerate living in the north was beyond the lightning boy's ability to comprehend. Oh, sure, snow was cool, but at the end of the day it was way better to have a nice collection of dry rocks to hang out in than to be cold and wet and have rain rot and, well, you get the idea. Zero did not like cold, and was happy to get out of it. Besides, some of that comfortable numbness was wearing off, making it much easier for the harsh and frigid reality of the situation to set in. Ma was gone.

(And I'm so selfish, maybe she left because of that- because I'm selfish and crippled and the girls are weird and she just couldn't bear to see-

Shut up, Zero's self doubt. Nobody's got time for your shit.)

Zero sighed happily as the warmth from Isopia's cabin worked its way into his frozen joints. "Thanks," he murmured, shaking himself to get off the excess wet, tail- and wing-feathers rising into fluff. Sunbeam eyes traveled curiously around the hut, taking in the stones and craftsmanship before finally coming back to the earthen girl. It was nice, being quiet and just there with his friend, but the boy wasn't one to keep his tongue for long, and besides, if he didn't talk he'd just think more about Ma, and he wasn't going to lie about what had happened to Iso, but he wasn't sure he was willing to talk about it, not yet. And so, to distract himself from his own familial predicament, Zero cleared his throat and asked what he assumed to be a perfectly innocent question: "Do you get lonely here, Iso?"

A pause. He looked out the door, into the dark. "I get lonely sometimes. But I don't got a 'panion, I bet that makes it different. What's it like, havin' someone there all the time who can never go away? It must be nice." Wistfulness gave way to resentment, and his voice began to rise. "It must be nice, but I don't get to know because Ma always said not to get a 'panion 'cept now she has one an' my sisters have 'em an Gaucho has 'em an everyone has someone 'cept me an' I don't even know why! Why can't people explain things, or, or, or be consistent, or why can't I have a 'panion so I don't have to be the only one alone when people leave?!"

As he ranted the boy's agitation grew, and he began to shift his weight, wings rustling, teeth grinding as a rare anger flared in his eyes... but as soon as it rose the anger faded, leaving in its place a bizarre weariness. Both emotions fit the boy poorly, like a coat made for a larger man: he felt like he might drown in them, lost and lonely, and in a moment of panic sought Isopia like a life vest, pressing his body back into the comforting reality of her side. Isopia was safe. Isopia was there. In all their time as friends, Isopia had never, ever left, and never had Zero appreciated that more than now. As far as Zero was concerned, Isopia was a remarkably reliable and compassionate individual.

A great listener, too.

"'m glad you're my friend, Iso," the boy whispered into her mane. "I've had a lot'uv friends, but you're the best. How come more people can't be like us, y'know? How come more people can't just be good? Why do they gotta hurt each other all the time?"

---

ooc || I'M SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER AND IDEK WHAT HIS HEAD SPACE IS RIGHT NOW.

also colored speech font yay

I don't have anyone to miss.

"But you've got me!" the boy exclaimed immediately, instinctively, his need to be loved only overshadowed by his need to love, to assure his friend that she would always be loved, would never be alone. He decided, for once, to hold his tongue and avoid asking the questions welling in his mind - What about your Da? What about your herd? Importantly, the boys feelings were not hurt; his words were an assertion, not a protest, because he was confident (needed to be confident) in his importance in Isopia’s life.

Besides, the giantess had just said she didn’t even get lonely. And while Zero didn’t fully understand this concept, it was alright, because sometimes she didn’t understand him, either - and they were still friends.

Why couldn’t it be that way with everybody else?

Zero sighed, his body nesting easily against Isopia’s side. It felt good, to be close to someone- to have someone he could lean on, be honest with, who would listen without any condescension, and whose feelings he didn’t have to protect. It felt good, that was, until his friend started shaking- and Zero balked, blinking, his neck straining to find the source of her agitation, worry etched on his expressive face. His earlier concern returned tenfold, that feeling of guilt - Why don’t I know you better? - swelling in his breast. The lightning backed boy threw a helpless glance to Hubris, as though looking for an answer from the blue-eyed beast.

He wished that the dragon could tell him what was wrong, because he wasn’t sure his friend ever would.

She promised not to leave him, and the lightning boy believed her. He let the silence grow between them, content, for a time, to rest beneath her wing and gnaw restlessly at his lip. It was nice to just be close; in the wake of his Ma’s absence Zero’d felt like an island, floating without any sense of aim across a foreign sea. He’d questioned everything he knew and believed, buckling beneath the weight of his own doubt, but now he felt okay, even safe, and, well...

He wanted to make sure Iso felt that way, too.

Zero pulled away from his friend, just enough to turn earnest sunbeam eyes upon the mandible-marked girl. A frown marked his features; worry and affection were bright in his gaze, clouding out even his own pain. "Iso, y'know... if you wanna talk about it, you can." He didn't say what it was, or even ask. He wasn't sure she would even need to talk. But there was obviously something wrong, even he could see that, and he wanted her to know that he was there for her, too; that he would always listen, and always care. "But if you do, you can tell me. An' if you don't, that's 'k, too- we can talk about something else" he added with half of his signature smile, though pat of him worried if that was something that kept her quiet- his ability to babble on and on.

---

@Isopia