the Rift


[PRIVATE] I don't wanna be your hero

Zèklè Posts: 166
Outcast atk: 8.0 | def: 10 | dam: 3.5
Colt :: Pegasus :: 14.1 :: Three HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
charks
#1
Zèklè
He had begun to spend more and more time outside his home, wandering aimlessly with no particular purpose - or so the boy told himself, though in truth his gaze was seldom far from the horizon, where it strained to pick up any familiar speck of black and blue. It had been seasons, yet Zero hadn't given up on the idea that Ampere would come home- couldn't give up, because without that hope, without her, what did the lightning boy even have? He had built himself around his Ma, and without her he was a sinkhole, a bridge with no supporting beams; because the only thing he'd ever known for certain - that his Ma would always be there - was wrong. Ma wasn't there, and even now, seasons later, Zero was at a loss for how things had possibly become this way.

So he and Squishy had wandered as far as they could get, venturing north. The boy was armed with nothing but relentless tenacity and a stubborn refusal to accept the truth and move on, and so far that had proven particularly inadequate supplies. He wasn't any good at foraging, or finding his footing in the ice, and his coat was dismally thin, a lackluster protection against the springtime chill. Sometimes he would find cool rocks, and half-heartedly order Squishy to collect them for his stash. More often he would just walk. Zero had never particularly liked the cold; but as far as he was concerned, anything was better than the lonely island where everything was just a reminder of what he couldn't understand.

Or so he told himself through gritted teeth and tightly clenched eyes. He was standing, exposed, rigid in the wake of a particularly forceful breeze, and though he tried to keep from shaking, the shivers which racked his body were obvious to anyone who might have looked. He'd been up here for three days, and he had yet to see a soul. Never a big fan of solitude, the isolation had taken a toll on poor Zero; he was skinny, almost gaunt, and a strange bitterness marred the usual joviality of his youthful face. As the wind died down the boy pulled his wing across his back, grunting, but even this offered scant protection against the elements. Indeed, it only really served to exacerbate the wildness of his appearance: between the thick, dark hair which lay in knots around his face and hocks, and the creeping metal which had now nearly encapsulated his left side, and was making an obvious move against his right, Zero might have been some strange demon rattling around the frozen north.

Only his eyes still held a hint of his familiar, infallible cheerfulness- and at the moment they were closed.

"Speech Speech Speech."
baby needs some protection - but i'm a kid like everyone else
Image Credits!

Själ Posts: 112
Outcast atk: 5.0 | def: 8.5 | dam: 5.0
Mare :: Unicorn :: 16.0 hh :: 4 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Ansgar :: Plain Griffin :: Draining Clutch ChaoticMelodies
#2
Själ
She didn't really have a destination in mind when she set out from the Aurora Basin, but as she wandered, she found herself thinking of Zèklè. How long had it been since she had seen him, heard his voice, felt the simple glee that came from just being around him? She had changed since then - that was an easier time, less tumultuous. She had almost felt content to settle - to follow him to the Dragon's Throat, to forget about her lineage and the burden it brought. Since then, she had reconnected with the north and those who inhabited it, reconnected with the history that tied her irrevocably to this land.

She had reconnected with the memory of her mother.

She had met others, made more friends, joined an Order that would help her learn new skills, hone them until she was an unstoppable force. In the back of her mind lingered the doubt that she would ever be able to protect herself or those she loved, and it was that which drove her so desperately towards anything that would give her strength. She had grown more detached, separated herself from the rest of the world. She had become more like the self she had been when she had first met the lightning boy, and she couldn't say that she regretted the change. After all, hadn't he abandoned her just like everyone else?

Still, when she saw him, she couldn't keep her eyes from lighting up and a stupid grin from plastering itself across her face. She couldn't stop herself from squealing an excited greeting and running towards him, dashing through the desolate waste that was the Frostbreathe Steppe in an effort to reach him, to make sure he was real, to make sure he wasn't going to disappear again -

"Zèklè!" The name, when it leapt to her lips, was a hoarse shout - and she slid to a halt beside him, prancing excitedly in place, waiting for that familiar grin to appear - but then she realized how awful he looked, and concern got the best of her. What had happened to him? When she had last seen him, he had been happy, had invited her to the Dragon's Throat to live with him and his family. Now he was gaunt, encased in metal and seemingly wasting away. "Zero," she whimpered softly, pain in her eyes. "What happened to you?"

"Speak."
--Ansgar.--
Själ

Pixel by Reli <3

Please tag Själ in all replies.
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.

Want to plot with Själ?  Visit her plot page here!

Zèklè Posts: 166
Outcast atk: 8.0 | def: 10 | dam: 3.5
Colt :: Pegasus :: 14.1 :: Three HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
charks
#3
Zèklè
Truth be told, Zero was nearing the end of his rope. He'd spend his entire life trying to be good, trying to be an awesome son and the best of friends and an all-around stand up guy, and where had it gotten him? Here, stranded in the tundra, surrounded by nothing but brush and snow and rocks he wasn't even in a good enough mood to appreciate (even though some of them were remarkably cool). A part of him - a particularly melodramatic part, to be sure - wondered if it wouldn't be best to just lay down and die. Maybe then Ma would come back, and find his poor, frozen corpse, and realize what a mistake she'd made and be sorry forever, and he wouldn't have to be sad anymore.

But Zero wasn't suicidal, not really. He was just, y'know, a kid, trying to come to terms with adulthood in an increasingly unreliable world. We've all been there: trapped between a stubborn desire to be a functional adult and a powerful lack of understanding as to how that was even supposed to happen. Add to that the fact that the lightning-backed boy had fully expected, with every fiber of his soul, that his Ma would be there the whole time, and, well... perhaps he can be forgiven his momentary fall into despair.

Besides, he was about to be rescued from himself. His Princess in Shining Armor had come.

He heard her first, but of course she had to be a mirage. There was no way she was there- except she was, appearing beside him as suddenly as a ghost, and from behind tousled hair Zero's eyes widened in wonder, his faintly beating heart surging into full marching-band swing, growing warm and trembly and excited, the way it always did when she was around. "Själ!" he exclaimed, even as he jumped away reflexively, startled and elated in equal parts by her materialization at his side.

But his voice was warm, and full of welcome, despite the dry undertones of pain- and as he looked at her the faintest ghost of his trademark grin softened the lips which had been so long drawn into a frown, something of humanity (ok, not really, but you know what I mean) returning to the countenance of the sad, bedraggled boy.

"Oh, you know," Zero replied glibly - or tried to, anyway, but in truth he could taste the bitterness in his voice. "I just got abandoned by my Ma an' left home an'- an'-"

He choked back a strangled sob, anger suddenly flashing on his face. Fuck. No. Not in front of her.

"-an' now I'm here! But how are you? Had any good adventures?" he asked too loudly, his voice too bright and his smile too wide. Don't let her notice the boy begged silently, willing her to ignore his weakness, because for her, he'd always wanted to be strong. He fought against the urge to step closer, to wrap his wing around her and press his face into her neck. Instead he kept a comfortable distance, too terrified of driving her off (too) to so much as take a deep breath.

Don't go. Don't go. Please, don't go.

baby needs some protection - but i'm a kid like everyone else
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Själ Posts: 112
Outcast atk: 5.0 | def: 8.5 | dam: 5.0
Mare :: Unicorn :: 16.0 hh :: 4 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Ansgar :: Plain Griffin :: Draining Clutch ChaoticMelodies
#4
Själ
And just as Zèklè was not truly suicidal, Själ was not truly angry with the lightning boy. In her quietest moments, she found herself missing him. It infuriated her, that the metallic colt from her first visit to Helovia had managed to get under her skin, to keep her from falling headlong into the role that her mother had been convinced that she was meant to play - but she was grateful all the same, because for whatever distance might have arisen between the two, Själ always knew that Zèklè would come back, that he would always greet her with that warm, jolly grin, that they could always go back to racing up the path to the Heavenly Fields, go back to playing princess and knight, go back to just being them. In a world of expectations, Zero's laid back nature had always given the princess a moment to just be.

She could never be mad at him, not really. Even if he had invited her to live with him and then just disappeared.

More than anger, though, worry had pervaded her thoughts of Zèklè, for she was convinced that he could not have just forgotten her. (Could he? Gods, please, no.) Something, therefore, must have happened to keep him from fulfilling his promise. Something like his ma disappearing and something like him getting himself lost (metaphorically speaking, anyway). Unfortunately, Själ could relate all too well. A frown fell across her face, her eyes flashing in a vaguely angry sort of way - how could Zero's mother simply abandon him? Didn't she know how he idolized her? Didn't she know that he needed her? Bitch.

But that was unfair, and she knew it. She said nothing at first, simply watched him with worried eyes, debating whether or not to press him, to ask him to let her share his burden, to ask him to trust her. For a moment, she thought about skimming past his outburst, acting as though nothing had changed - oh, how easy it would have been to just move on, to go about their business, to share in the happiness that they had always managed to find in each other. But things had changed, and, most importantly, he was not okay. Själ was burdened now with her need to protect those she cared about (even Zèkle; especially Zèkle), and she would not - could not - allow him to suffer alone.

"Zero..." she murmured, "... don't -" Don't what? Don't push her away? Don't put on a mask? Don't lie? She sighed. "I've been fine, I guess. I... I've missed you." She swallowed down a lump that had appeared suddenly in her throat, reaching her muzzle out to him for comfort, almost as though she wanted to make sure he was really there. "You know - you know my mother, she disappeared and... and left me, too. You... you can talk about it, if, y'know, if you want?"

"Speak."
--Ansgar.--
Själ

Pixel by Reli <3

Please tag Själ in all replies.
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.

Want to plot with Själ?  Visit her plot page here!

Zèklè Posts: 166
Outcast atk: 8.0 | def: 10 | dam: 3.5
Colt :: Pegasus :: 14.1 :: Three HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
charks
#5
Zèklè
She refused to take any of his bullshit, something managed to both anger the boy and fill him with relief. Part of him wished she would just let it go, just let him go on pretending that it was okay, that he was okay- that she would let him use her as a way to hide, because it was so much easier to pretend to be happy when you didn't want someone to see you sad.

On the other hand, Zero had never been great at pretending to be something he was not (not in the make-believe sense - he was fabulous at that). It was too complicated, too hard, too muck like trying to hold back a river, or stay out of the rain. Eventually something was going to get in, and the harder he resisted the harder it became. He wanted so much to let go, to tell her everything, and yet...

And yet he was afraid. Afraid that by being weak, by being sad, he would somehow disappoint her. Badasses never got sad - he certainly couldn't imagine Gaucho ever being sad - and if they did they didn't show it, and he had promised to be her badass, after all. He'd made that promise, and others, and now as he stared up at her earnest gold eyes the sinking realization came to him: he'd already failed her, because after all, had he even gone looking for her after Ampere left? Zero had been so preoccupied, so caught up in his own stupid grief, he hadn't even thought about the promise he'd made to Själ, that he'd give her a home where she'd never be alone.

He'd been just as bad as Ampere. Just as bad as her Ma.

"Själ..." the boy whispered, his voice trembling beneath the weight of his own self-anger (self-pity, if we're being honest), "...how can you even offer that, after how awful I've been? I- I promised I'd bring you home an', an' then everything got so messed up an' Ma was gone an' I jus'- I mean, I didn't mean to, but-"

He struggled, faltering, the passion in his voice rising to another strangled sob. Zero stared forlornly at his hooves, unable to look at her anymore, unwilling to face the hurt he was sure was in her eyes.

(He was really getting this whole martyrdom thing down.)

"I'm sorry, Själ," he whispered at last. "You're my friend, an' I promised you wouldn' be alone, an' I know your Ma left you, an' I shoulda come back an' found you sooner." The boy paused, his sunbeam eyes clouded as he stared fixedly at the ground. "How come we hurt the people we love? "

At last the boy looks up, his bright eyes pleading as they searched her face, his espression a hopeless mask of confusion, of despair. "I never wanted to hurt you, Själ."
baby needs some protection - but i'm a kid like everyone else
Image Credits!

Själ Posts: 112
Outcast atk: 5.0 | def: 8.5 | dam: 5.0
Mare :: Unicorn :: 16.0 hh :: 4 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Ansgar :: Plain Griffin :: Draining Clutch ChaoticMelodies
#6
Själ
Of all the things she might have expected (that he missed his ma, that he was worried she'd never come back, that it was hard to be alone, that he wanted to go home), she never expected him to apologize. She stared at him with something akin to surprise. Was he an idiot after all? Couldn't he see that she cared about him? For a moment, she was dumbfounded. How could she come across a friend in need - her oldest, dearest friend, no less - and not offer to help in any way she could?

When the bewilderment passed, a shocked laugh escaped her. She couldn't help it - it just slipped out, and before she could stop herself, she was stomping one of her front hooves on the ground and reaching to nudge the colt on the shoulder (she forgot that, at the moment, it was mostly metal, and he probably wouldn't really feel it anyway). You moron, she started to say wryly, then changed her mind. In the mental state Zero was in, it probably wouldn't do her any good to tease him.

"Zero," she sighed, stressing his name and staring at him pointedly. "How could you even say that? You're my best friend. Of course I want to help, or listen, or, or, I don't know, kick some sense into you, if it'll help!" Suddenly, all the grown up nonsense that she had grown so accustomed to - the mischievous antics, the careful masks, the cunning plots - it all fell away, leaving only her, laid bare, before the colt.

"I point I was trying to make is that I know how it feels to lose the one person you... always thought would be there," she continued, her voice losing some of its cheer. "I never thought my mother would disappear, and you know what? For months I looked for answers, everyone else be damned. You think I would blame you for doing the same thing? Zero, I was you, remember?"

"I'm sorry, Själ," he said to her, and she shook her head vigorously back and forth. "Don't -" But then something that he said caught her attention: "Why do we always hurt the people we love?" Why do we hurt the people we... love. "I never wanted to hurt you, Själ." Love. Me? For a moment, she couldn't find her voice, didn't know what to say.

"You didn't hurt me, Zero," she assured him, tilting her head to the side. "I was worried about you. I thought... I thought maybe something had happened to you, that I would never see you again..." Her voice grew smaller, hesitant. "I mean, I know you're my badass -" she tried to smile, "- and you can take care of yourself, but I... I don't want to lose anyone else I love."

"Speak."
--Ansgar.--
Själ

Pixel by Reli <3

Please tag Själ in all replies.
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.

Want to plot with Själ?  Visit her plot page here!

Zèklè Posts: 166
Outcast atk: 8.0 | def: 10 | dam: 3.5
Colt :: Pegasus :: 14.1 :: Three HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
charks
#7
Zèklè
And yet somehow, bewilderingly, against all odds, she still wasn't mad. It was as though all his mistakes were nothing, all his shortcomings just raindrops evaporating in the sun- and it was confusing, and relieving, and the boy felt a sort of hope welling within his breast, a renewed warmth at the idea that, ok, maybe he wasn't so awful after all. Maybe he could forgive him, even though he'd been terrible.

And the idea meant the world to him, because it meant that maybe even though Ma had left him, it really wasn't his fault.

(One day, further down the line, he might recognize the hypocrisy of this train of thought- that he shouldn't be deserving of her forgiveness, when he would have forgiven her (and which her are we talking about? Själ? Ampere?) nearly any trespass, without a moment's thought.

Or maybe he wouldn't. Emotions are weird that way.)

I was you- "I know," he whispers, and the sadness in his voice was for both of them, for all the children of this world who had ever been left behind. His thoughts went to Isopia, who had also lost her mother- were mothers simply categorically neglectful, and he'd just failed to notice up til now? Unconsciously he leaned into her embrace (which he did feel, despite the metal growth), his shoulder eager for her soft touch - as fleeting as it may have been. "Ma's are awful. But... I jus' want her to come home."

He didn't notice the way she trailed off, the effect his simple statement had left upon his friend. A little of Zero's cheer was returning, a little of the moroseness fading away- it felt good to finally talk to someone, to confess the worry which had plagued him for so long. And it felt good to be forgiven, even if she hadn't really been angry with him at all. She called him her badass, and the boy's heart jumped, a flicker of a smile reaching his eyes. Almost shyly he looked at her, the faintest outline of a grin - a real one, this time - pulling cautiously at his mouth. He was too distracted to notice the word - love - but he'd certainly think about it later, about what it meant and what it could mean and what he might want it to mean, one day. But right now he was content to simply take it at face value, because he did love her, just as much as he loved his Ma and sisters and Mesec and Iso- deeply, loyally, and without a shadow of hesitation or doubt.

He loved her because she made him smile, and he wanted to do the same for her.

"Thanks, Själ," the boy said shyly, reaching out to brush his nose against her neck. "You're not gonna lose me, not ever; even if I have to go away I'll never forget about you, an' I'll always come back, 'kay? I promise," he finished fiercely, earnestly, the passion of his parentage and the honest sincerity of his nature ringing clearly in the boy's stallion's voice.

baby needs some protection - but i'm a kid like everyone else
Image Credits!

Själ Posts: 112
Outcast atk: 5.0 | def: 8.5 | dam: 5.0
Mare :: Unicorn :: 16.0 hh :: 4 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Ansgar :: Plain Griffin :: Draining Clutch ChaoticMelodies
#8
Själ
"Ma's are awful," he said, and she frowned slightly, disagreeing (at least in part) with the blanket statement. Still, she couldn't argue. After all, as far as mothering went, her own mother had been pretty terrible. Psyche had gone mad, towards the end, incapable of taking care of herself, let alone a child. Själ had grown up too soon, matured without the chance for a real childhood. Perhaps that was why she valued her time with Zèklè so much - he allowed her to strip away all of the burdens that the rest of the world placed on her shoulders and just be her.

The colt leaned into her touch, bringing a smile back to the princess's face. It seemed that he was improving, that his eyes were regaining some of their liveliness, his smile some of its joy. Själ would have been happy to stay like that: her muzzle pressed firmly against his shoulder, a happy smile on her lips, best friends with nothing more to worry about. Even on her most lonely nights, she had never allowed herself to acknowledge how deeply she had missed him, never given her heart the freedom to delve into the darkness that it would bring. Now that they had been reunited, though, she was loathe to let him leave.

"I know," she said simply. He would always come back - just like she would for him. Hadn't they proven it already, time and again? "I won't ever leave you, either," she told him fiercely. "You don't ever have to be alone." He reached out, brushed his muzzle against her neck; she might have blushed, but her sincerity obscured the sudden hammering of her heart. "I promise," she finished in a whisper, echoing Zero's heartfelt words. In that moment, she knew that she would walk through fire for the colt stallion that had grown to hold such a special place in her heart. Whatever would come, she would be there for him. It was a promise.

"Speak."
--Ansgar.--
Själ

Pixel by Reli <3

Please tag Själ in all replies.
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.

Want to plot with Själ?  Visit her plot page here!


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