the Rift


phite meh [ciceron teaching spar]

Archibald the Dauntless Posts: 386
Absent Abyss atk: 6.0 | def: 9.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Equine :: 18.3 hh :: 10 years HP: 80 | Buff: SHIELD
Loretta :: Alaskan Malamute :: Time Slip Time
#1

Archibald the Dauntless

You need to know that you're in for the fight of your life

Archibald had been patrolling throughout this season with intensity. The summer's heat and the spring's drought caused fires to randomly spark throughout the Hidden Falls. It made Archibald uneasy, and he and Loretta continually moved around and made sure no part of their home was burning to ash. Archibald remembered when these lands--so different then--were destroyed by the angry, desperate fires of the Sun God. In an outraged outburst against his siblings and their decision, the fiery deity had chosen to set fire to the world, and some horses along with it. For many years, Archibald held an anger against the god for such an act. As the years passed, however, the anger dulled. The memory, however, would never fade. Archibald would remember the cries of anguish as the flames licked upon the sensitive hides of his herd mates, nor how Smoke was able to stop the rampage only through offering herself like a common whore to the god.

No, the Dauntless would remember.

Fire had been one of Archibald's adversaries in many different battles. His hide was swatched with the dark gray scars of dragonfire, and his mind was scarred with the memory of destructive wildfires. Now, however, Archibald controlled some fire. The newest magic that coursed through his veins had fiery aspects to it. He could move flint projectiles so quickly that they ignited and burned upon touch. It was interesting to see how someone so affected by fire could also wield such destruction. At the thought, Archibald and Loretta decided it was time for a spar. But no fire, Loretta mused. Archibald nodded simply.

Stopping near a clearing, with a slow trickling stream, Archibald lifted his head and released a trumpeting warcall into the air.


[PC: 0/3 | WC: 288 (wordcounter.net) | Setting: Hidden Falls, early evening. The weather is warm but bearable. Archibald has chosen a clear area with a small stream running through the middle. | I'll be providing teaching notes!]

image credits


@Ciceron


Through the ages of time
I've been known for my hate,
but I'm a dealer of simple choices;
for me it's never too late.


please tag me

Ciceron Posts: 315
Outcast atk: 6.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.2 :: 6 HP: 69.5 | Buff: ENDURE
Kiara :: White Tiger :: Poison nickel
#2
Ciceron
&
Kiara
You don't understand what it's like
to live always at war, to grow up with
battle and sacrifice;;
Lorem ipsum dolor


Tallsun had arrived and with it came the nearly unbearable heat and humidity. Some days like today were not so bad while others you just wanted to spend hanging out down by the waterfalls to escape the extreme heat. With the threat of fire being so high the dappled warrior and his tigress found themselves constantly on the move trying to keep ahead of the fires. Duties brought them to all different parts of Helovia and it soon became clear that they were not the only ones under siege due to the soaring temperatures. Grasses everywhere had begun to dry up becoming no more than yellow crisps while the leaves on the trees had started to weep and dry up. Nothing about this season was going to be easy all they could hope is to get though it as unscathed as possible.

Having spent most of the day out on patrol the pair had just returned home only to hear someone issuing a war call from within the territory. Pricking his ears forward the stallion listened, trying to place the voice that had called out. It had been quite awhile since he had managed to rise to the occasion of a spar perhaps it would be a good thing to get out and work on their skills. Looking over to Kiara he could tell that she was game despite the heat so why not, they might as well give it a go. Without too much hesitation long pillars were on the move carrying the grey and his companion towards the challenger and the impending battle.

Silver eyes scanned the field that was laid out before them only to find the challenger to be no other than their king Archibald. He should have expected this at some point or another considering that most of their warriors had been away on missions for quite some time now. Nerves fluttered gently in the beast's stomach at the thought of battling Archi, how could he even match up to his skill level? This was crazy but he couldn't back down now that he had showed his face, he was no chicken. Drawing confidence from Kiara he squared his shoulders and tried to focus on formulating a battle plan. If they were going to have any chance of defeating their king and his companion they would have to be focused and working in complete unison. He really didn't have a clue what he was going to be up against but he was prepared to give it his all and so was Kiara. Raising his head the grey stallion returned a similar battle cry before turning on heel to charge into action, his three blades at the ready should he decide to use them.  

It had been difficult training with his weapons but with practice he had gained confidence in wielding them properly. Balancing himself and his stride the warrior eyed the first obstacle that would need to be taken care of before he got to their king. The stream posed no real threat but it was something that he would need to be aware of as the battle progressed. Gathering his muscle underneath himself he leaped cleanly over the water with Kiara following hot on his heels, her eyes set on keeping Loretta busy while her grey tackled the beast. "Be careful." He said silently knowing that there was never going to be a time where he would not worry about her. Kiara had become a part of him in ways he had never thought possible and he knew without a doubt he would protect her with his life. With one quick glance down to his black and white comrade he once again turned his eyes back to the black stallion.

Pacing himself now he slowed his stride down so that he would not be running blindly into his opponent. Archi was taller and slightly stockier than he was providing him with what he believed was a slight advantage. The bigger the opponent the slower they move, now all he had to do was make the right moves to maximize this advantage no matter how small it was. As the grey  neared Archibald he swiftly dropped his haunches down causing his hooves to slide in the grass hoping to slow his pace ever so slightly so not to over ram his target. At the same time his head tucked neatly to his chest, angling his spear towards where he hoped would be Archi's shoulder. Behind him Kiara raced to keep pace leaping swiftly to throw herself in between the mutt and her bonded. Baring her teeth menacingly she swiped out with her claws hoping to make impact with the dogs snout.  


Ciceron Speaks
Kiara Speaks
Silent Speech

Words: 786/800
Attack: 1/3


Image Credit
[Image: ciceron_by_foxyfirewings-d7npcjn.png][Image: untitled_2_by_moonstone_designs-d9fwqyy.png]
Pixel Base- BronzeHalo
**Please Tag Me In All Posts**
Permission to attack, use magic and injure with the exception of maiming or death.

Archibald the Dauntless Posts: 386
Absent Abyss atk: 6.0 | def: 9.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Equine :: 18.3 hh :: 10 years HP: 80 | Buff: SHIELD
Loretta :: Alaskan Malamute :: Time Slip Time
#3

Archibald the Dauntless

You need to know that you're in for the fight of your life

Above the heads of the warmongering pair, the sun raged on. The heat was tolerable, but between Archibald's legs his dark coat began to dampen with sweat. The Dauntless knew that the battle he would engage in today would not be an easy one--whichever herdmate or intruder decided to heed his call Archibald would test their mettle. He half expected Ktulu to step from the underbrush and return his challenge. Even from her--no, especially from her--Archibald would not hold himself back. He knew Ktulu's ability well, and she his. If she were the one to enter the clearing and lower her sword, the pair would accept fully.

As their war call faded into the forest, the pair prepared themselves for the impending spar. Archibald's thick neck arched and his back rounded, muscles coiling as his golden eyes scanned the battlefield. Loretta lowered her head, turning so her amber eyes searched where Archibald's could not, sending mental images across their bond to fill in his blind spots. Together, canine and equine fought in perfect harmony. Loretta's hackles raised instinctively and she paced back and forth, her tail rising into the air. Black-rimmed lips lifted and peeled away to reveal yellow-stained, knife-like teeth as Archibald pawed the earth below his iron-clad hoof.

Luckily, the pair did not have to wait long for their challenge to be accepted. From the underbrush stepped a familiar silver body. A small smirk appeared on the Dauntless Czar's lips for a phantom second before disappearing again to reveal a cold, emotionless facade. Ciceron and his companion emerged and stepped forth to the challenge. We will finally test him, Loretta said inwardly as Archibald brought the thought up in his mind. He nodded, tucking his chin toward his chest as the ivory covered stallion raced toward them. As he charged, Archibald braced his weight. He watched as Ciceron's hooves fell on the ground, and it was obvious that the footing in this clearing was excellent. The Dauntless had no worries about it, even with his horseshoes. His hindquarters tucked and his haunches tightened, ready for the impact of the other, smaller stallion hitting him. Ciceron was smaller, and thinner, but he surely had more speed. It was evident now as he galloped across the clearing, soaring over the small stream with ease. Archibald snorted, watching as the soldier brazened his sword and lowered it like a jousting lance.

The black behemoth was familiar with the fighting tactics of unicorns. Not only had he fought alongside unicorns--Ktulu, Ophelia, and several of his brothers--but he had taught unicorns to fight--his sons. Keen, golden eyes watched as the horn closed distance between Ciceron and himself, and suddenly the Dauntless shifted his weight forward. The king lurched forward in an attempt to slam into Ciceron, his front end coming up off the ground and his knees jutting out. Archibald felt the impact before the sound of horn clanging against metal resounded in the air. With Archibald's abrupt movement, he managed to block most of Ciceron's assault with his metal breastplate, though the sword slid off to the side and grazed the point of his right shoulder. It smarted, but the combatant did not let the pain show on his face. The cut was shallow, but he knew as he moved on later in the battle the muscles would pull against it and make it hum with dull pain.

As the horn sliced across his tough hide, Archibald's coiled neck rocketed out and his mouth opened. Teeth meant for grazing sought to snap across the left side of Ciceron's neck, and attempt at keeping the horn away from him for any further attacks. As he bit, rapidly like lightning striking across mountaintops, Archibald moved forward. He wanted to swallow Ciceron's space, to devour him whole beneath his might and power. He knew, quite well, that he was stronger than his Champion. If he were able to keep Ciceron in this place, close to him, he would be able to stomp him with the upperhoof of strength he had.

Loretta snarled at the cat, unafraid even as claws sliced out toward her muzzle. She attempted to move her face away, but was too slow. One of Kiara's claws managed to slice across Loretta's upper lip. A high-pitched yip left her jaws and she shook her head, rage overtaking the pain as Archibald pushed into her mind. Eat her alive! he commanded, black tail smacking hard against his hocks. Obediently, Loretta snapped her jaws toward the cat's leg, trying to bite down while simultaneously throwing her magic into the air, hoping to turn the feline into nothing but a mewling kit.


[PC: 1/3 | WC: 776 (wordcounter.net) | Setting: Hidden Falls, early evening. The weather is warm but bearable. Archibald has chosen a clear area with a small stream running through the middle. | I'll be providing teaching notes!]

image credits


Teaching:

Firstly, I really liked the touch of the bond I got to see between Ciceron and Kiara. This is points for the emotion category on the rubric. Alongside that, it was nice to see Ciceron's reflections of how he felt going up against Archibald. I would have liked to see some more of this, though the slight touch of it was enough for the beginning of the spar. It would also do you well to compare Archibald to past opponents Ciceron has had--who has he fought, how does Archibald look compared to them, how will Ciceron respond to that, etc. etc.

Regarding the environment, you could have had a lot to work with here! Ciceron is moving across the clearing pretty quickly, so you could have talked about the footing, how it would affect him, or whatever! The thing to remember when mentioning environment, emotion, battle stats, history, or any spar components is to remember to say how they Affect, rather than just stating them.

Since this is the beginning of the spar with your first attack, I obviously don't have any dice to respond to on how you have taken damage (since you haven't taken any yet :P). However, when making your attack, it is good to mention what your intentions are for it. It goes beyond just saying "he aimed for the shoulder", which is boring and flat, and sets up the reader (and judge) for the future! It sets up possibilities in the mind of your opponent, and also opens a door for emotional and tactical responses from your character. When you step into applying the tactics your character should know, and the hopes they have as they attack, you can better respond. Think of it like if Ciceron really hoped to hurt Archi, to impale him even, and he rolled a miss, how pissed off or shocked or frustrated Cic would be in response!

Also, make sure to watch your grammar and your writing as a whole. You tend to switch from passive to active voice, and switch from past tense to present tense. You also have a few grammatical mistakes which are all points off on the rubric. There are tons of resources on the internet where you can take your post and plug it into a generator and it goes over grammar for you! For instance, I love http://www.hemingwayapp.com =] Happy Sparring!

@Ciceron

Time the Dice Queen Posts: 144
OOC Account atk: 50 | def: 50 | dam: 50
Mare :: Other :: 5'7 :: 22 HP: 5050 | Buff: DROPKICK
Time
#4
Ciceron defaults to Archibald.

0.5 VP to Archibald + 1 EXP for 1 teaching post.


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