i am a leaf on the wind

She knows the feeling of loneliness all too well. The crushing, draining presence of it always lingering. At first, at least, Adelene had been with her. But they’d parted ways when they entered the Threshold of Helovia, and though Lyanna had thought Adelene was only steps away, her sister had disappeared instead. And then, for too long, it was just Lyanna. The Edge took her in, but still, she knew no one. The mare that greeted her had been pleasant, but at the time, Lyanna had no idea they’d become close friends. And otherwise, there had been nothing, really.

The tri-colored Pegasus had taken to wandering Helovia, trying to pass the time, trying to pretend that she was learning the lay of the land, when really, she was simply avoiding the truth of her life. Her old life was gone, and she had to learn to live in a new one. Apollo had started that change, with the small red ruby he’d given her that she still wears around her neck. Alysanne had turned from familiar face to mentor, and eventually friend. Slowly, things changed. Slowly, the constant knock of loneliness faded. Slowly, Lyanna began to live again.

Now, she moves through the Edge with relative ease. She’s still new here, all things considered, but somehow that hadn’t stopped them from promoting her to a rank that she probably didn’t know enough about to actually do. But she was trying. She spends a good bit of her time in the gardens now, growing familiar with the herbs that the Edge grows. In addition, she’s picked up a few different bits of information along the way (like willow’s ability to dull pain).

Today, she’s actually on her way out of the gardens and perhaps toward the Threshold when a rather large thump, followed by a bit more ruckus, catches her attention. Possibly, she should be more concerned for her own safety than she actually is and she picks into a trot, moving through the mists as quickly as she can, to the source of the sound. But instead of worrying about her own safety, she’s concerned for someone else’s. What in the Gods name had that sound been?

It’s not long before Lyanna nearly stumbles on the form a girl, head pressed into the dirt. She skids to a stop before accidentally stepping on the girl (she used to the mists, but they are rather dense this morning, and everything is slightly hazier than usual). Really, the girl is a young mare, probably taller than Lyanna (though she can’t be sure, with the girl on the ground), but still, younger than Lyanna and so she sticks with girl.

“Are you okay?” she asks kindly, slightly less worried at the moment that the girl also doesn’t look familiar, or smell of the Edge. First, she’d like to make sure the poor thing isn’t too terribly hurt. A cursory glance shows some cuts and probably minor bruises, but there’s nothing more obvious yet. Still, it’s Lyanna’s job to check. “I’m Lyanna, one of the Moon Doctor’s of the Edge.” she adds, figuring it might be good to add that she’s not here to kick the girl in the side or anything for trespassing. Besides, it seems the younger mare had already done a good job of that herself.

watch how i soar.

lyanna

i am a leaf on the wind

The girl is up on her feet within a few moments of Lyanna’s arrival, and it becomes a bit harder to remember she’s younger than Lyanna. The bay dun mare is a bit taller than Lyanna, though at least the girl doesn’t tower over her (she’s getting too used to staring up at Tembovu). The girl nods that she’s fine, though Lyanna can’t help keeping something of an eye on her as she stretches her wings and tests things out. That’s what she does though. It still feels nosey in a way that observing as Princess in Morham did not feel nosey.

Back then, she looked for signs of deception, rebellion. She looked for signs of things one should not be doing, and therefore, didn’t deserve any privacy. Now, she watched for signs of injury and discomfort, signs of things that are rather personal. A small cut is one thing, asking a mare if she’s pregnant is quite another. And some things simply wound the pride as well. Lyanna is fully aware. She’s had her own stubborn moments, refusing to let on when Corbin had actually, seriously hurt her in a battle. She always pretended the burns didn’t hurt like hell (they did, though they were always tiny and accidental), or that the bruises didn’t smart every time she moved. So she understands that not everyone wants her in their business either.

But still, she checks, because she’s supposed to. And in truth, because she can’t imagine a world in which she doesn’t check. Because she does care, enough to be nosey and annoying about it.

When Lyanna mentions the Edge, the girl suddenly looks more interested, letting out a slight trill and pawing at the ground. Still, no words though. Lyanna tips her head slightly, watching the other mare curiously. “Yes, this is the World’s Edge,” she says, pretty sure that’s what the visitor is getting at with her exaggerated motions. She doesn’t ask if the mare talks, but rather, decides to stick to yes and no questions to see if that gets her somewhere instead. “Were you looking for the Edge?”

The mare moves slightly, and her movements seem stiff, though that would make sense given the crash landing. Slowly, the visitor starts to smile, not necessarily at Lyanna, but maybe just at the place where she’s literally managed to tumble into. The Edge is worth that smile, certainly. Though Lyanna isn’t really certain what the mare is looking for here. But after a moment, that smile turns to a frown as she moves (Lyanna following, because she’s not about to let a stranger wander through the Edge alone). “Can I heal you? I need the practice, honestly.” She asks, adding the second bit because one, it’s true, and two, maybe if the girl saw it as a favor, she’d agree.

watch how i soar.

lyanna

i am a leaf on the wind

Lyanna hadn’t known anything about the Edge when she found it’s borders, mostly by luck. Elsa had offered her a place to rest, a place to figure it all out, and at the time, it’d been exactly what Lyanna had needed. She hadn’t known then that she’d stay, that it would actually start to feel like home. There were so many faces here she didn’t know, so many stories and secrets she was still learning. It wasn’t like Morham, where her childhood was filled with teachers. In that life, her job was to know everything. In this life? Well, she got to choose her job. What a novel concept. Choosing. And she chose to heal others, chose to learn what herbs would help with pain and swelling, how to tend to minor wounds.

And somehow, in all that, she’d been granted some magic to help. Contingent of course upon being a Doctor here, but still, it was something. She could feel it in her veins in the way the power of the wind once swirled through her. It’s not entirely the same. The power isn’t hers, and it feels borrowed. She’s not sure how to explain the difference, and perhaps she wouldn’t notice it save that she once had power of her own. This power isn’t hers, it belongs to the Goddess of the Moon. But still, it’s familiar, and it’s soothing.

And truthfully, she’s really excited to try it out.

For that matter, she doesn’t actually expect the girl to agree. But there’s a small chirp and a slight nod, and Lyanna can’t help but smile a bit. She takes a breath, figuring that calling on this new power can’t be all that different than when she controlled the wind. So she tugs on those familiar strings of magic, and slowly, a dark fog rolls in, the wind picking up around them enough to tug on the grass and their hair. The fog focuses on the girl, the wind moving around them easily. And for the first time in a long time, Lyanna feels almost like herself. It’s not her old power, but it is something, and it’s amazing. As the fog rolls around, Lyanna can see the cuts start to close, skin stitching itself back together. She can’t tell how much it helps or doesn’t with stiff joints and muscles from the fall, but suspect it should at least help.

It’s the first time she’s used the magic though, and it’s not perfect. There are some small marks left on the girl’s skin as the fog dissipates, Lyanna letting the magic go when it seems she’s done all she can. But nothing looks like it’s openly bleeding. “Do you feel better?” She asks, waiting to see what the girl thinks of all that. And then they could deal with the fact that technically, she was trespassing. But she seemed relatively harmless, all things considered.

watch how i soar.

lyanna

i am a leaf on the wind

Lyanna’s smile is a training thing, truthfully. A requirement of her old life, that ability to smile even in the worst of situations. That ability to grin at a stranger who looks at you like a prize to be won, or an enemy to be sized up. But Lyanna only needed training to shut her temper off sometimes. It wasn’t a terrible thing, that temper, but it reared its head now and again with particularly smarmy assholes. But mostly, she meant that smile. No one could teach a smile to reach her eyes, but her eyes light up as the wind moves around them. No one could teach her to enjoy being able to help others. But she really did enjoy it. She really did mean that smile. That much, at least, is clear.

The girl squeals, and for a moment, Lyanna’s smile falters, afraid she’s done something wrong. But though it is a dark, and almost ominous looking magic, it has no power to hurt. But after a moment, the girl seems alright again, circling Lyanna as if assessing. “Magic, granted to the Moon Doctors from the Edge’s patron Moon Goddess,” she says by way of explanation. Lyanna knew so little of the Goddess, really, except for the basics. It’s not as if she’s ever met the Goddess (or any of the Gods). But she knows enough to respect them, to give them credit for the power that has cleared the worst of the cuts and the bruises on the mare. Lyanna is a conduit, nothing more.

The girl nods, seeming satisfied with the healing process. In time, Lyanna would get better at using the magic. She should be able to clear small cuts completely, get rid of any bruises or soreness. They were small things, really. And she knows it’s a powerful magic, but it’s just a matter of learning to harness it so firmly, to reach that deep. But she doesn’t have time to dwell on it. The girl chirps, and suddenly sets off into the Edge. Lyanna stifles a sigh and follows, keeping up with the young girl is they set off into the Edge. “So, you can’t really go wandering around a herd uninvited. I’m happy to show you around, if you like, but if you aren’t interested in staying…” she trails off, the rest of the statement obvious enough.

They Edge was pretty tolerant, letting horses stay while they decided just what exactly they wanted to do. Lyanna had been given that opportunity, though she’d simply decided to stay. The Edge was beautiful, and it was home, even if somedays it still felt like a strange dream. “Do you have a home?” she asks, wondering if the girl had a family waiting for her somewhere. She was probably old enough to be left to her own devices for a while, but still, someone must be expecting their daughter back. So she hopes, anyway.  

watch how i soar.

lyanna

i am a leaf on the wind

She could sympathize with the girl’s skepticism over Gods. She didn’t grow up with Gods, and she doesn’t really understand why this land has them and other’s don’t. Why would the Gods only be here? And really, why would they care about mortals? Lyanna has never see any of the Gods before, but she knows the Moon Goddess visits when Alune summons. She knows that in the Veins of the Gods, horses are granted quests and if they success, ultimately the power or companion they seek.

If nothing else, Lyanna has no reason to lie. She isn’t lying, to the extent she knows anything about the Gods. But perhaps everything she has learned had been a lie. Perhaps it was a trick on the new girl. In which case, by extension, she might be lying to Ru. Though she didn’t mean it, if nothing else. Her intentions are good, but Lyanna has rarely been anything other than good. There is no reason to be any other way, and so, she enjoys the simple life that comes with honesty and kindness.

The girl sighs, when Lyanna stops her escapades. She feels bad, not meaning to take away from the girl’s fun. But she also can’t let her wander the Edge alone, because she is not a member, and she’s probably get a stern yelling at from Tembovu if she just looked the other way. Or a disappointed glance from Alysanne, which is about the last thing she ever wants. She does not want to disappoint her friend and mentor, and now, her Queen. “You can tour with me, but no running ahead, okay?” But she motions that the girl should lead. There’s nothing in the Edge that’s a secret, so Lyanna isn’t worried about steering her away from anything.

But apparently, Lyanna’s next question is even worse than telling the girl she can’t go exploring. Her jaw clenches, anger or hurt or some mixture of both crosses her face. It seems Lyanna can’t do much right with this girl. Perhaps it’s a good she doesn’t have any of her own children. She might be a terrible mother. The mare shakes her head in a clear “no”. Lyanna starts walking through the forest now, letting the girl lead where she may. Perhaps she’ll simply leave, having quite possibly grown tired of the tri-colored buzz kill Lyanna seems to have become today. Perhaps though, they will still explore, and Lyanna is game for that. But she adds, because it would be wrong not to, “If you ever want a home, you can find one here.” It’s simply a initiation, one with no real expiration, and no pressure. Everyone deserves a chance to live here, but no one will ever be forced.

watch how i soar.

lyanna

i am a leaf on the wind

The thought of something in return never crosses Lyanna’s mind. It’s her job to help others, but more than that, she simply enjoys it. She is glad to give her time to the place that has given her a second change. She is glad, selfishly, to have a little magic back (wind magic, at that). And she is glad too to see the filly look eager, to watch her diving through the trees and examining the way everything looked and smelled.

She doesn’t need any more thanks than the girl’s excitement, the grin that creeps on her face and her chirp of agreement. She doesn’t need any more thanks than knowing that, if nothing else, Lyanna will send the girl back into the world as healed and healthy as she can. It makes her a little nervous, truthfully, to send a girl not yet grown into the world with no home. Did she have a family somewhere, at least? Did she have a safe place to go? Lyanna wonders, but does not ask. It seems too personal, too much like a question that is likely to hit a nerve she does not want to strike.

No, in the end, all she can do is offer the girl a place here, if she ever wants it. The knowledge there’s a place to come back to if she ever needs it, regardless of whether Lyanna is here or not. The Edge, as far as she can tell, is unlikely to ever turn someone away. Not someone with good intentions looking for a place to call their own. Lyanna was slowly learning that she was far from the only one here that had come to the Edge seeking sanctuary. For her, she’d love her mother and father, her sister and brother. She’d had no one, and one step back in her own land meant certain death.

It’d been harder than she cares to admit to stop living beneath that mountain of sorrow. Less than a year ago, she never would have thought that anywhere could be home again. But somehow, this place had become that. Somehow, she had friends. She had something just a little bit more than friendship in Apollo. She had responsibilities and a place where she always felt safe. And it was more than she ever dreamed of having again.

Lyanna doesn’t press the girl anymore though, noting the way her ear shifts and the glance back. The girl makes a sound that sounds like she understands the offer is there, and that is enough. Lyanna’s not about to force the girl to stay here – she’s not taking a hostage. No, she simply wants the girl to know there’s a choice here, even she ever wants to give it a shot.

After a moment, she tosses her head in the direction of the cliffs, and Lyanna takes a moment to figure out what the question might be, guessing when she does finally answer. “The cliffs are rather beautiful. On a nice day, it’s possible to fly off them without getting slammed into the cliff face by the wind. Or if you go northeast, you’ll eventually find the Basin. But if you go northwest, just a bit away from Helovia, you’ll find nothing but endless sea. I’ve never been able to go far enough to find anything else out there. It does feel like the end of the world.” She says it with some reverence in her voice though, like she finds this beautiful rather than sad or intimidating. But sometimes she likes to dream this is really as far as any horse could go. That she ran to the edge of the world and found solace there. It’s a romantic, silly way to think of her life, but she does anyway, indulging in that pleasure.  

watch how i soar.

lyanna